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Turek is an American (and idiotic) member of the board who joined in January 2013. He is best known for not knowing anything about whatever he's involved in and unabashedly creating his own page a month after he arrived. He is not active very often, and seldom, if ever, productively. in select threads in Nation Games and Map Games, as well as “actively” replying to Pre– and Post–1900, Future History, ASB, and various ongoing threads such as the Map Thread.

Claim to Fame

Turek has no outstanding characteristic excepting that his foot is always too big for his mouth. He has started no timelines, he's a constant pest to those around him, and he rags on himself to get people to feel sorry for him. He's a horrible person, really. Avoid him like the plague, because he might actually have the plague.

Turek is also obsessed with what other people think about him, which is why he depicts himself in a bad light and uses self-deprecating humor. He sometimes uses the excuse that he's American and Americans are stupid, but recently he felt that it's been played out and resorted to his usual means.

Oh, yeah, he also can't think for himself, shamelessly mimics the ideas of his forefathers, doesn't know when to stop and is a notorious whinger. He's (honestly!) ashamed to admit that he has trouble with keeping his head straight and is pretty damn afraid that someone's going to notice the threads he's started—they're horrible, honestly—you won't disagree.

Apparently he's well known for liking Ameriwanks. This doesn't bother him because America is America.

He also managed to completely mess up this page many times, resulting in a pockmarked “Old Revisions” section and a bad reputation.

Does He Do Anything Else?

Turek is currently only occupied with the greatness of alternate history*. He's frequently annoyed by the fact that people confuse him with others scattered around the internet; apparently there are way too many Tureks on the internet. He avoids mentioning it—but he secretly thinks this might be in conjunction with the Polish Trolls that so happen to frequent the board. Please, do not confuse Turek with anything. He doesn't appear in any form but 'Turek'—if that moniker is taken for whatever reason, he goes with something entirely different.

Also, apparently, his name reminds people of “Turok” or sometimes Poland. Yes, there is a Japanese game series(?) by the name of Turok, and a city in Poland known as Turek, but rest assured, Turek is not affiliated with either.

*Note—note: Turek is currently only occupied with the greatness of alternate history online.


Turek has no current (or archaic) timelines on this board; a combination of procrastination, lack of talent, and general slowness has led to this. ~~Recently, Turek has been working on Eddy's War—The Fourteenth Colony He doesn't like the timeline for obvious reasons. He was also foolishly convinced to partake in writing Tecumseh Eternal. Ostensibly, it's in a league with Jonathan Eddy's antics of the former.

He updates these only rarely. If asked (never happened, never will) he claims he is busy—no, really, he just forgot about them. Bug him enough and eventually his conscience—which got held back in the fifth grade, incidentally—will catch up to him.~~

Turek doesn't write, and apparently doesn't exist.


Turek is the original source of the term 'Skateers', occasionally rarely used to refer to Soverihn, Superman, and SpanishSpy.

Turek did not frequent the board from around July 2013 to January 2014. Upon the new year, he came back and immediately began pissing everyone off again by posting an awful Miller-cylindrical basemap of Europe in the Map Thread.

~~**He bothered to look it up: he went fishing for a month in July 2013, then posted a couple days in August, went on hiatus, came back in early January 2014.~~ He's gone again.

offtopic/turek.txt · Last modified: 2019/03/29 15:13 (external edit)