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offtopic:goatism [2008/08/10 17:10] – added see also Pkmatrixofftopic:goatism [2019/03/29 15:13] (current) – external edit 127.0.0.1
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-==== Goatism ====+====== Goatism ======
  
 A parody religion, bearing the same relation towards [[offtopic:Sheepism]] as Islam does to Christianity. A parody religion, bearing the same relation towards [[offtopic:Sheepism]] as Islam does to Christianity.
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 **Goatism** is believed by its adherents to be the Final Revelation of [[offtopic:Ian]] (PBUH) to the members of the Board. **Goatism** is believed by its adherents to be the Final Revelation of [[offtopic:Ian]] (PBUH) to the members of the Board.
  
-=== Origins ===+==== Origins ====
  
-As the legend goes, Goatism was revealed unto the Prophet [[offtopic:Flocculencio]] late one night after he had had far too much to drink while contemplating the false revelation of the [[offtopic:Sheep Thread]]. The Goat appeared to him and, in the words of Terry Pratchett, pointed out that [[Offtopic:Sheep]] are stupid and must be driven while Goats are intelligent and must be //led//.+As the legend goes, Goatism was revealed unto the Prophet [[Flocculencio]] late one night after he had had far too much to drink while contemplating the false revelation of the [[Sheep Thread]]. The Goat appeared to him and, in the words of [[Terry Pratchett]], pointed out that [[sheepism|Sheep]] are stupid and must be driven while Goats are intelligent and must be //led//.
  
 Thus, the religion of Goatism was born. Flocculencio reigns as the Goatist Caliph, Commander of the Faithful, the Shadow of Goat; his badge of office the mighty, jewel-encrusted turban of the Caliphs of Cordoba wot he bought off some bloke down the pub. He also holds the secular titles of Caliph of Anglistan and Protector of the Gaels. Thus, the religion of Goatism was born. Flocculencio reigns as the Goatist Caliph, Commander of the Faithful, the Shadow of Goat; his badge of office the mighty, jewel-encrusted turban of the Caliphs of Cordoba wot he bought off some bloke down the pub. He also holds the secular titles of Caliph of Anglistan and Protector of the Gaels.
  
-=== Tenets ===+==== Tenets ====
  
-1. There is no Goat but Goat, and Flocculencio is its Prophet!+  - There is no Goat but Goat, and Flocculencio is its Prophet! 
 +  - Women are soft and smell good and are to be encouraged. 
 +  - [[Keira Knightley]] and [[Doctor What]] are to be regarded as saints - St. Keira, Our Lady of Grace and St. Bruno the Undead respectively. The truth of their existence does not detract from the truth of Goatism but rather serves as an example of the way in which the Spirit of the Goat works in the World of Men.
  
-2. Women are soft and smell good and are to be encouraged.+==== Schism ====
  
-3. [[Keira Knightley]] and [[Doctor What]] are to be regarded as saints - St. Keira, Our Lady of Grace and St. Bruno the Undead respectively. The truth of their existence does not detract from the truth of Goatism but rather serves as an example of the way in which the Spirit of the Goat works in the World of Men.+[[offtopic:Nekromans]], a Goatist acolyte attempted to assert the primacy of [[offtopic:Doctor What]] within the Faith. The mainstream of the Faith, with the sanction of the Caliph, combated this by asserting that St. Bruno the Undead, was equal to St. [[keira knightley|Keira]], Our Lady of Grace, the other Goatist saint. Thus Keraiite Goatism and Whatii Goatism were born. However, Nekromans was soon distracted by a shiny object and the rift among the Faithful was healed, the two schools agreeing to disagree.
  
- +==== Ghazis ====
-=== Schism === +
- +
-[[offtopic:Nekromans]], a Goatist acolyte attempted to assert the primacy of [[offtopic:Doctor What]] within the Faith. The mainstream of the Faith, with the sanction of the Caliph, combated this by asserting that St. Bruno the Undead, was equal to St. [[offtopic:Keira]], Our Lady of Grace, the other Goatist saint. Thus Keraiite Goatism and Whatii Goatism were born. However, Nekromans was soon distracted by a shiny object and the rift among the Faithful was healed, the two schools agreeing to disagree. +
- +
-=== Ghazis ===+
  
 The tumult of the Schism brought to the fore numerous Goatists whose actions to preserve the sanctity of the Faith were rewarded by the Caliph. Among these were [[offtopic:Floid]] who, for his pains was proclaimed a Ghazi. The tumult of the Schism brought to the fore numerous Goatists whose actions to preserve the sanctity of the Faith were rewarded by the Caliph. Among these were [[offtopic:Floid]] who, for his pains was proclaimed a Ghazi.
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-=== The Rise of the Satans ===+==== The Rise of the Satans ====
  
 In late 2006, [[offtopic:Justin Pickard]] earned the title of Great Satan through his numerous attacks upon the peaceful followers of the Goat. Though Pickard brooded from afar, the turmoil caused by this led to a second attempt by [[offtopic:Nek]]romans to rebel against the ordained hierarchy of the Faith. Though he had previously sold himself and his womenfolk into indentured servitude to The Bald Impostor, Emir of Iraq, he chafed in his bonds and repeatedly attempted to cause trouble, finally renouncing the Faith and turning to Sheepism. In late 2006, [[offtopic:Justin Pickard]] earned the title of Great Satan through his numerous attacks upon the peaceful followers of the Goat. Though Pickard brooded from afar, the turmoil caused by this led to a second attempt by [[offtopic:Nek]]romans to rebel against the ordained hierarchy of the Faith. Though he had previously sold himself and his womenfolk into indentured servitude to The Bald Impostor, Emir of Iraq, he chafed in his bonds and repeatedly attempted to cause trouble, finally renouncing the Faith and turning to Sheepism.
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 These events were later dramaticised in the plot of the [[AH.com Series]] episode "[[HAIR TODAY, GOTTERDAMMERUNG TOMORROW]]".  These events were later dramaticised in the plot of the [[AH.com Series]] episode "[[HAIR TODAY, GOTTERDAMMERUNG TOMORROW]]". 
  
-=== See Also ===+==== See Also ==== 
 + 
 +**[[Orthodox Sheepism]]** 
 + 
 +**[[Reformed Sheepism]]** 
 + 
 +==== Navigation ====
  
-[[AH.com Religions]]+**[[AH.com Religions]]**
offtopic/goatism.1218402657.txt.gz · Last modified: 2019/03/29 15:15 (external edit)
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