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====== Fellatio Nelson ======

Fellatio Nelson is an active member (oo-er) in Chat; indeed, he is among the vanguard of the resident Gaysexualists (a.k.a. The Sinister Gay Agenda) on AH.Com. 

The Gaysexualists are currently engaged a remorseless, sweaty, moonlight-dappling-their-muscular-frames tag-team wrestling match against the [[offtopic:Heterosexual Reconquista]], which is led by a drunk, horny-helmeted viking American soldier called [[The Bald Imposter]] and the Yorkshire Separatist, [[Thande]]. 

Fellatio also contributes to other parts of the Forum... but I can't quite remember what... sometimes he adds some stuff about ships and the Royal Navy.

Frequently has his "copyright infringed" by certain "unauthorised" members - see [[Nek]] - who cannot get enough of his buff physique and matinee-idol looks. They seek to download his craven image for singularly nefarious purposes. 

Also creator of "[[offtopic:Homoendo]]" (TM); the trademarked construct used as short-hand for "Homosexual Innuendo".

His hobbies include exploring the 'Welsh hinterland': see [[Kit]] and looking at pictures of Matt Damon.

Surprisingly, thanks to a youthful encounter with an Italian lady known only as 'Signora Whatshername', Fell has considerably more experience with such matters than most of the users on the board. 

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====Epithets==== 

Ubiquitously, "Fell"; or otherwise "Sexy Bugger". 

**Catchphrases**

- Oo-er! 

- Do you do it doggy-doggy?

- Dogs' Cocks

- I am touched. Frequently. Right there. Yup, that's it. There.
 
- Having "(in a good/nice/bad/nasty way)" appended to a statement to grant greater understanding. 

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==== Claims to Fame ====

Inadvertently found and named the nation state of Sudanasia whilst drunk late one night, during the course of an investigation to determine whether [[Floid]] was, in fact, the television chef-cum-drinker (oo-er) Keith Floyd. It has since transpired that [[Floid]] is the Sudanases half-brother of said British chef.

Also discovered that [[Romulus Augustulus]] is actually Borat; a man famed for his boundless "Boratitude" (TM), which has yet to be fully defined.

Developed the term 'cugly', as shorthand for Cute/Ugly; namely, those individuals whose facial features would at first glance make them seem plain, average or downright ugly - especially if they were they to let themselves go - yet, examined together, create an extraordinarily alluring combination that makes them more sexy than ostensibly "beautiful" people.

**[[Baldianism]]** - Professor F(uscia) Nelson recently forwarded to his nephew Fellatio - by way of his alledged sister Felicity (or 'Flick') - the results of a recent academic pot-holing expedition in darkest [[Peru]]. Having entered one cave shortly after a group of schoolchildren armed with crayons had departed, Prof. Nelson discovered a crude rendering of [[The Bald Imposter]], which he dated to prehistoric times. Hence Fellatio, who bears an uncanny similarity to Baldie in almost all respects, instigated the veneration of the said Horny Montanan Mountain Man (in a good way, not a gay way, although... - no, definitely not in a gay way - because that would border on the incestuous).   

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==== Member nicknames ====

Along with [[Landshark]], Fell's known for unilaterally bestowing nicknames on members (especially new members) which often catch on. These are usually based on supposed misreadings of the member's real name.

Examples-

Ian Winterbottom for [[Iamwinterborn]]

Ela D. Rimstar for [[Eladrimstar]]

Boo Hoo Hooligan for [[Beauhooligan]]

Nekropher O'Mans for [[Nekromans]]

Hazel for [[Hazazel]]

Lorna Doone for [[ljd767]]

P Diddy for [[MrP]]

Ab-dabs for [[Abdul Hadi Pasha]] 

Dr Charles for [[Leo Caesius]]

Wanda for [[Wanderlust]]

Vegan Snacker (on trials, pending acceptance) - [[VulcanTrekkie45]]

Susan O for [[Susano]] and Robert O for [[Roberto]] (see [[House of O]])

Chronic Frog - Chrono's Fog

Don Cecily - The Sicilian

Aozheureadjfdfa(whatever!) - [[Aozhouhuaren]] 

Toolhead - [[Tielhard]]

Slaphead - [[The Bald Imposter]] (in the early days)

SatanGloves - [[Evilmittens]]

Boardwalk - [[boredatwork]]

Aardvark - [[Azardin]]

Ivan Jellical - [[Mr.Evangelical]]

Humongous - [[Hermanubis]]

Pervy Hoodie - [[Dr Pervez Hoodbhoy]]

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====Trivia====

Contrary to expections, Fellatio Nelson is married to a buxom Devonshire lass called Emma Hamilton. They have three children between the ages of 3 and 6, Full Nelson, Half Nelson and Nelson Mandela Nelson, and depend on the pittance Fell is paid by Her Britannic Majesty's Government to keep them in Turkey Twizzlers and Ritalin.

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====Works====

- Some stuff about Pirates; "Fellatio's Rough Riders"; something about Sherlock Homo, but can't quite recall; and the adventures of "HMS Gimp Throttler". Latterly embarked upon a massively immensely huge story called //**[[stories:Dial M for Elastic]]**//, which is on 'hiatus' at present since I'm rather busy. Also started //**[[stories:A Pirate Novella]]**//. Recently began a new story called "Red Porn Rising", a spoof of Tom Clancy's Endwar style daft military confrontations between IslamoCommie Russia and the Western alliance (see also [[alternate history:FH Cliches]]) 

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==== Baldian Smileyology ====

According to [[https://www.alternatehistory.com/forum/threads/1/post-990106|Baldian Smileyology]], Fell is associated with the :D smiley.

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==== AH.com Politics ====

Fell is a member of the [[offtopic:Cabinet|AH.com Cabinet]] as a representative of the party he founded which interestingly enough is called [[offtopic:Ppppppppppppppppppppppparty]].  He holds the post of Minister of Bridled Enjoyment since he didn't want to fall off his mount.

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==== Family History ====

It was recently revealed by Doctorandus Thande that Fell's martial forebears had been involved in one of Britain's [[http://alternatehistory.com/discussion/showthread.php?t=125317&page=2|most crucial military operations]].

"Little known fact, Fell's grandfather was the SAS commando who stole Hitler's other one in the secretive Operation Blunted Spear. Since then it's been passed down through the family from generation to generation."

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==== In AH.com Fiction ====

As well as featuring in his own works, Fell has appeared in a variety of roles in the //**[[stories:AH.com The Series]]**// as well as //**[[stories:Luaky Commer]]**// and //**[[stories:AH.com Wars]]**//.

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==== Navigation ====

**[[member list#f|Member List]]**