Table of Contents
EVIL Party (E)
AH.com's most successful political party, the Evil Party was founded by Midgard for the 2006 elections and won four seats, joint largest party with the Yorkshire Socialist Party. Like the other political parties on the board, it was disbanded by Ian when he dissolved the AH.com Government on September 24, 2009.
At the 2007 elections there was a considerable swing to the Evils and they won five seats, making them the largest party in Parliament and the senior party in the eventual government coalition, as well as winning the Presideny. During the elections the AH.com Robotic Revolutionary Party merged with the Evil Party and became an affiliate bringing along some of their members as well as the Overmind.
Midgard stood as Presidential candidate in 2007 having previously been Prime Minister in the 2006 Parliament, but due to a heated argument on the board unrelated to the elections, he decided to leave. It is not certain if this is temporary or for good, although if for good, somebody has hijacked Midgard's account and is doing a plausible imitation. Sargon was endorsed as the new party leader by Midgard and led the party to victory in both sets of elections, becoming Acting President, with Midgard as President in absentia.
Sargon subsequently made efforts to form a coalition with the Yorkshire Socialist Party, which proved to be fruitful, and with the combined number of seats between the parties, they were able to form a government. Sargon created two new Vice Presidential posts, and awarded a Vice Presidency to the leader of the YSP, Thande, as well as the Deputy PM position in the Parliament to Kidblast, one of the YSP MPs. In a gesture of friendship, Sargon then proceeded to appoint a cross-party Cabinet that included almost all of the elected MPs, the 2007 Presidential candidates who had achieved a certain number of votes as well as other members of the Board who had carried out good works and whom the Acting President felt merited a post. Parliament was then convened and business was able to be started upon.
The 2007 Coalition with the YSP proved to be very successful, both parties working together extremely well, not least due to the personal chemistry between Acting President Sargon and Vice President Thande, both being residents of Yorkshire and having many common interests and viewpoints such as Doctor Who, The Queen and elastic trousers.
Members of the EVIL Party included:
- Midgard (Founder/Spiritual Leader)
- Sargon (Party Leader & President & High Drungarios of AH.com Naval Forces)
- Douglas (MP & former Prime Minister)
- Maverick (EVIL MP, Prime Minister, Party Chairman & Minister of Vengeance)
- Analytical Engine (Vice President & Minister of Science)
- LordInsane (EVIL former Prime Minister & Minister of Imperial Annexations)
- Gonzaga (EVIL ML, EVIL leader in the Landsraad & Minister of Fortresses)
- Ran Exilis (MP & Minister of Moral Corruption)
- Agentdark (MP & Special Operations Executive)
- Gladi (MP & Minister of Culture)
- Haggis (MP & Minister of Good Taste)
- Brandonazz (Supporter & Master of Grim & Nasty Dungeons )
- Bishop (EVIL Supporter & Minister of Chinese Expansion)
- Atreus (EVIL Supporter & Minister of Oncoming Storms)
- Kirika (EVIL Supporter & Minister of Cutlasses and Pistols)
- Blackbeard (EVIL Supporter & Minister of Piracy)
- Evilmittens (EVIL Supporter & High Strategos of AH.com Land Forces)
- JP Morgan (EVIL Supporter & Chancellor of the Exchequer)
- Romulus Augustulus (EVIL Supporter & Minister of Sarcasm)
- Scarecrow (EVIL Supporter & Minister of Foreign Affairs)
- Shadow Knight (EVIL Supporter & Minister of Nasty Rituals)
- SeleucusVII (EVIL Supporter & Minister of Ancient Artefacts)
- Demosthenes (EVIL Supporter & Assistant to the Electoral Officer)
- Grand_Panjandrum (EVIL Supporter & Minister of Medieval and Renaissance Affairs/Chief Rhetorical Excoriator)
- Benny (EVIL Supporter & Minister of Alien Technology)
- The Militant One (EVIL Supporter & Minister of Military Logistics)
- Lothaw (EVIL Supporter)
- DudeAlmighty947 (EVIL Supporter)
- RCAF Brat (EVIL Supporter)
The AH.COM Evil Party Manifesto
WHO WE ARE: The Few, The Proud, The Evil!
OUR VISION: We seek to purify the AH.COM from such deadly menaces as n00bs, furries, and zombies by introducing an enlightened, benevolent tyran… we mean order where rights of AH.COM-ers are protected, and the realm of AH.COM is expanded, violently if need be. We are the party that states openly who we are, and what are goals are. We are Evil, and are proud of it - and with us, you DO know what to expect.
OUR POLICIES: As a part of the strategy to bring peace and order to AH.COM, we are determined to exterminate all killbots, and to tackle the zombie problem for good. We believe that full netizen rights only extend to the living, and the dead shall dead remain - by forcible means, if necessary, sans the specimens that will be kept for our unholy… we mean, innovative scientific experiments.
We also offer a real solution to the n00b crisis - any n00b that joins the Evil Party and votes for us will no longer be considered a n00b. As such, we offer the unfortunate n00bs the means of speedy assimilation into the greater AH.COM society and becoming full netizens.
We stand for enlightened absolutism, where voice of the fickle does not control the policies, and for takeover of weaker and lesser sites and nations to further our goals. We stand for monarchy, tyranny, space imperialism, and violent secularism. We stand for Freedom of Speech - unless it goes against our interests. We stand for the things that are likely to bring Armageddon - or at least something like that, and promise to fund research into summoning of Chthulu if elected.
If elected, we will propose legislation to ban furry porn from AH.COM, and to make Blaming Thande mandatory in every poll posted on AH.COM, with violators subject to full extent of the law.
We support zero tolerance policy for those who spam or would spam AH.COM - JIHAD ON THEIR ARSES!
We can speak with Russian accent if we really want to.
ECONOMICS: We believe in exploitation of the natural world around us, and in the need to redistribute resources based on ability first. As such, we support free markets, albeit not without an ability for the Evil Party to interfere and profit from these.
RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS: Not only the Evil Party supports and wholeheartedly endorses the right for the netizens to bear guns, we go one step further, and support the Right to Arm Bears. The Grizzly Evil Commandoes are our first line of defense against the Killbots and the Zombies - a vote against Evil is a vote for Zombies!
PARTY MOTTO: Our Party Motto is “Sex, Booze, and Heavy Metal”.
OTHER CAUSES ENDORSED OR CHAMPIONED: Keira Knightley, Priya Rai, and all the beautiful women. For our gaysexual members and sympathizers, the list could be extended to the persons of their gender of preference.
Heavy metal in all of its shapes and forms and subgenres, although hard rock is also considered an acceptable form of musical expression.
Alcohol, from beer to champagne to wine to shots of Siberian Nuclear Vodka.
JOIN US… OR ELSE!
Booze, Porn, Byzantium (includes anything Roman), Good Music, Cool warships, (including Battleshipism!), Russian military hardware, Star Wars, Star Trek (Especially Mirror Universe), Doctor Who (especially Daleks), SF in general, Zeppelins (including Byzantine & Ottoman), Chuck Norris (this list is not a complete one, please add other items that may have been missed)
“If it's cool, it's EVIL”
“Strength. Unity. Revolution”
The EVIL Party supported all things mentioned in the 2007 Manifesto and some of those from the 2006 Manifesto, with the tagline 'If it's cool, it's evil' plus the following:
All airships and Zeppelins (not just Roman/Byzantine, Soviet/Russian and Ottoman), so for example, Chinese, Japanese, Korean,. Australian, Venetian, Imperial German, British, US, Canadian, Indian, Persian, Brazilian, Sheffielder, Vampire, Lesbian, Heterosexual, Gaysexual and so on are supported. Basically, if it's a Zeppelin or airship, they supported it.
They supported cool aircraft and troops to go with their airships of any nation and type.
They supported warships, especially battleships (particularly German, British, Japanese, Russian/Soviet, US etc.) and anything space based.
Pirates were supported by EVIL, seeing as they at one point had a Minister for Piracy.
Legions of Rocketmen (and women) were also supported. Most likely being launched from massive airships, knowing them.
Media & Popular Culture
Science Fiction was supported. Especially the evil sides in all people's favourite shows, comics, movies and other media. Since the good side's tech can be cool too, those were considered acceptable because cool is evil.
Beautiful women were actively encouraged by the EVILs and for their gaysexual members, they also supported beautiful men too.
Cyberpunk and Steampunk were also supported, in particular Victorian steampunk and Star Wars steampunk. Mecha were also favored as the Party has a liking for anime and manga since it's usually violent.
International & Geographical
The EVIL Party supported a Chinese Empire because that's seen as cool. What form of government it takes didn't really matter as EVIL was open to all forms of government since all have been evil at some point in history. EVIL succeeded in being a home for people across the political spectrum.
The Evil Party supported the US, Canada, Russia, China, Britain, Russia, Germany, France, Australia and so on. Basically any place that's been accused of evil acts gets a look in.
The EVIL Party also supported anyone from any religion, sexual orientation or location in the world, offword, or from other dimensions and realities.
The EVILs also encouraged greater use of the AH.com Bar, AH.com Cinema and AH.com Music Joint since they approved of great movies, booze, and good music. In particular, horror movies, bad-ass historical epics, violent action movies, thrillers and heavy metal were especially enjoyed by them, but they, of course, supported anything that is cool and therefore evil.
On a serious note, EVIL also supported the reporting of spammers plus suspected sockpuppets and the Admin’s established rule for the ignoring and non-quoting of trolls who come to plague our Board. They also supported and proposed the formation of a Welcoming Committee to greet new board members in a friendly fashion rather than just sneeringly referring to them simply as n00bs, who lost such status anyway if they joined the EVILS. New members who insist on annoying the board with disruptive behaviour were still referred to as n00bs.
Byzantium & Ottomans
The Evil Party was dedicated the the Restoration of the Byzantine Empire, against which Scotsmen don't stand a chance (unless of course, they are evil in which case they've already joined the party). A significant part of the party's propaganda was based off of the policy of restoring Byzantium.
The Party also supported the Ottoman Empire as they are regarded as very cool, and their restoration was actively encouraged, probably in an ATL so that both them and the Byzantines could co-exist at the same time. However, their real dream on this front which they regarded as even cooler was a united Byzanto-Ottoman Empire, the existence of which would probably make Sargon, Abdul Hadi Pasha and, of course Analytical Engine expire with delight.
Partner, Affiliated and Allied Parties
The EVIL Party was formerly partnered with the AHPP, GNC, and DCNP in the Coalition Government of 2006.
The EVIL Party was formerly partnered with the Yorkshire Socialist Party in the Coalition Government of 2007.
The AH.com Robotic Revolutionary Party was an Affiliated Party, having merged with the EVIL Party in 2007.
The Representatives of Space-Filling and Other Boring Places Party (RSFOBP) was an Allied Party as of 2008.
The Stranger Syndicate wass an Allied Party in 2009.
As designed by Ran Exilis, this was the symbol of the EVIL Party:
Election Posters, Artwork and Propaganda
The Party was also known for its numerous election and propaganda posters made by various members.