A Great Office of AH.com. The Captaincy-Literal is awarded to the poster who takes the most jokey posts absolutely seriously and gives a missing-the-point answer. Captains Literal are also noted for answering questions that are obviously intended to be rhetorical. Previous holders of the title include luakel and Torqumada; at present the Captaincy-Literal is held by Dan1988.
Some have argued that Romulus Augustulus should hold the Captaincy-Literal, but this is probably too specific a social defect to tie him down to.
Another recent candidate for Captain Literal is alt_historian, who somehow managed to misunderstand a joke by Keenir and take something Leej said too literally in the space of one day, an unprecedented role reversal.
Captain Literal is often misread as 'Captain Liberal', which is a far more hotly competed for title on AH.com.