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offtopic:ah.com_party_of_the_proletariat

AH.com Party of the Proletariat

One of the most prominent AH.com political parties. Founded as the 'Alternate History Party of the Proletariat' by Leo Caesius and fenkmaster to contest the 2006 elections, at which it won two Parliamentary seats and the presidency.

For the 2007 elections, the party name was changed slightly to the 'AH.com Party of the Proletariat'. Led by fenkmaster, the party did not win any seats this time around in a dramatic swing, however fenk did all right out of them as he had joined the EVIL Party anyway and ended up becoming Prime Minister after an internal vote of that party's members to decide their candidate for PM.


Position

The AHCPP is one of the several left-wing socialist parties on the board and usually finds itself in an ideological clash with the Yorkshire Socialist Party, the other prominent socialist party. The main policy difference between them on their founding in 2006 was that the AHCPP was anti-Zombie Rights and the YSP was pro-Zombie Rights.


2006 manifesto

THE AHPP MANIFESTO

VISION:

We, the proletariat, seek to bring an end to the endless strife and bitter divisions between the different factions of AH.COM by extending the blessings of membership in the AHPP to all the citizens of the board.

POLICIES:

We believe in the brotherhood of mankind, and the solidarity of the international working class. The bourgeois establishment and its running-dog lackeys have long oppressed the hardworking men and women of AH.COM. It is now time for the proletariat of our board to cast aside its chains and establish a new and perfect society, in accordance with the eternal dialectic of history. Through our combined efforts, we shall deal a great blow to the entrenched and corrupt regime, thereby bringing about a revolutionary dictatorship of the proletariat and effecting true change in society.

The AHPP is tough on crime. Malcontents, reactionaries, dissenters, and other enemies of the people shall be swiftly purged. The penalty for most infractions of the law shall be summary execution.

BOARD POLICIES:

We maintain that every member of AH.COM should have the right to protect himself. Therefore, all citizens will be drafted into the Glorious People's Revolutionary Liberation Army (GPRLA) and armed with deadly force. Ownership of firearms will not only be encouraged, it will be required under AHPP rule. As a strong AH.COM is a free AH.COM, a military reserve composed of 100% of the citizenry will be maintained, ready to be called into action within seconds against those who would menace us.

Zombies are a disease of the bourgeois society. Lumbering, aimless, thoroughly corrupt, deteriorating from within, and incapable of higher thought or anything but mindless consumption, zombies represent everything that is wrong with the capitalist system. Once the revolutionary dictatorship of the proletariat has been established, we predict that zombies will become completely obsolete, much like any other excess of capitalism.

n00bs, furries, trolls, and other oppressed minorities shall be reeducated and rehabilitated into fully fledged members of the proletariat by means of our collective labor ca… health spas. The AHPP aims to eliminate all of the artificial distinctions plaguing the international working class and impose a uniform degree of equality by any means necessary. The AHPP, like Death, is the great equalizer, and shares with it many of its tactics.

Nevertheless, we believe in a multicultural and diverse society, and the state mandates that members of AH.COM subcommunities celebrate their differences (preferably in the form of song and dance) while recognizing their essential equality within the international working class.

At the AHPP, we recognize that innuendo is the favored currency of most AH.COM transactions, and we hope to distribute innuendo freely and equally among the masses. From each according to his abilities, and to each according to his needs!

CLOSING STATEMENT:

In conclusion, the AHPP offers you its camaraderie, and a chance at true freedom under its benevolent rule. Alternate Historians of the World, Unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains!

The AHPP is an equal opportunity employer. We do not discriminate with regard to age, race, color, religion, sex, national origin, sexual orientation, disability or veteran status.


2007 manifesto

Someone who can find it can fill it in - Thande


offtopic/ah.com_party_of_the_proletariat.txt · Last modified: 2019/03/29 15:13 (external edit)