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offtopic:2016_us_presidential_election [2016/11/09 09:35]
thande
offtopic:2016_us_presidential_election [2019/03/29 15:13] (current)
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 ====== 2016 US Presidential Election ====== ====== 2016 US Presidential Election ======
  
-Having found [[offotpic:2012 US presidential election|the 2012 cycle]] to be a bit boring on the whole, America decided 2016 should be more exciting and unpredictable. This was a mistake.+Having found [[offtopic:2012 US presidential election|the 2012 cycle]] to be a bit boring on the whole, America decided 2016 should be more exciting and unpredictable. This was a mistake.
  
 Speculation for the 2016 presidential election began when God was pronouncing the first '​T'​ of 'Let there be light'​. It was obvious back in 2013 that Hilarity Clinton, who had been beaten by [[offtopic:​Barack Obama]] (no relation) in 2008, wouldn'​t run again, until she did. Alright then. Anyway all the serious Democrats, and Joe Biden, cleared the field for her so she would have no problem getting the nomination this time. This left only token opponents such as Lincoln Chafee, a Democratic/​Republican New England metric system fan and Francis Urquhart cosplayer who complained that Clinton only had her position because of family connections,​ and that was //his// job; Jim Webb, a traditional conservative Democrat who once shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die; and Bernie Sanders, the crazy old socialist coot from Vermont who wasn't even a member of the Democratic Party. Just for balance, they did let in one serious Democrat, Martin O'​Malley,​ but he was unable to get his speech bubble out due to his mouth being too dry from all that rain he taxed. Speculation for the 2016 presidential election began when God was pronouncing the first '​T'​ of 'Let there be light'​. It was obvious back in 2013 that Hilarity Clinton, who had been beaten by [[offtopic:​Barack Obama]] (no relation) in 2008, wouldn'​t run again, until she did. Alright then. Anyway all the serious Democrats, and Joe Biden, cleared the field for her so she would have no problem getting the nomination this time. This left only token opponents such as Lincoln Chafee, a Democratic/​Republican New England metric system fan and Francis Urquhart cosplayer who complained that Clinton only had her position because of family connections,​ and that was //his// job; Jim Webb, a traditional conservative Democrat who once shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die; and Bernie Sanders, the crazy old socialist coot from Vermont who wasn't even a member of the Democratic Party. Just for balance, they did let in one serious Democrat, Martin O'​Malley,​ but he was unable to get his speech bubble out due to his mouth being too dry from all that rain he taxed.
offtopic/2016_us_presidential_election.txt ยท Last modified: 2019/03/29 15:13 (external edit)