offtopic:2012_us_presidential_election
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offtopic:2012_us_presidential_election [2012/11/18 11:02] – Thande | offtopic:2012_us_presidential_election [2019/03/29 15:13] (current) – external edit 127.0.0.1 | ||
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Then Obama killed Osama, a headline that confused Fox News proofreaders for the next six months. | Then Obama killed Osama, a headline that confused Fox News proofreaders for the next six months. | ||
- | Speculation over the Republican nominee for the 2012 presidential election began five minutes before the Big Bang. The Republicans proceeded to host an entertaining and colourful series of primaries for months and months before just nominating the runner-up from last time, like they do every bloody presidential election. This man was well-known Reed Richards cosplayer " | + | Speculation over the Republican nominee for the 2012 presidential election began five minutes before the Big Bang. The Republicans proceeded to host an entertaining and colourful series of primaries for months and months before just nominating the runner-up from last time like they do every bloody presidential election. This man was well-known Reed Richards cosplayer " |
The Republican Party decided on some new primary rules to make things more interesting, | The Republican Party decided on some new primary rules to make things more interesting, | ||
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Of course the most important part of the primaries was the epic bet between [[offtopic: | Of course the most important part of the primaries was the epic bet between [[offtopic: | ||
- | When the nomination was finally settled, the campaign itself began. Mitt Romney decided to appease disgruntled Ron Paul supporters by making his VP somebody of the same ethnic group as Paul--people with two first names instead of a first name and surname. Paul Ryan therefore became the VP candidate, at least until he was hospitalised after being beaten to a pulp by Joe Biden and thus vanished from the airwaves for the remainder of the campaign. Clint Eastwood shouted at an empty chair which Romney offered to fill with one of the women from out of the collection he had pressed in binders. The American ambassador in Benghazi was killed by a mob, after which Romney complained that Obama had not provided enough horses and bayonets to protect him from terrorists. Obama had a disappointing debate performance due to being possessed by the ghost of John Denver and then a better two. The media constantly went on and on about how close it was. Meanwhile Nate Silver quietly pointed out that at no point across the whole campaign had Romney led, and was promptly ignored. Then on election night Obama won by a sizeable amount and the media pointed out how surprising it was, causing TV viewing figures in AH.com households to drop overnight due to the number of bricks thrown at TV screens. | + | When the nomination was finally settled, the campaign itself began. Mitt Romney decided to appease disgruntled Ron Paul supporters by making his VP somebody of the same ethnic group as Paul--people with two first names instead of a first name and surname. Paul Ryan therefore became the VP candidate, at least until he was hospitalised after being beaten to a pulp by Joe Biden and thus vanished from the airwaves for the remainder of the campaign. Clint Eastwood shouted at an empty chair which Romney offered to fill with one of the women from out of the collection he had pressed in binders. The American ambassador in Benghazi was killed by a mob, after which Romney complained that Obama had not provided enough horses and bayonets to protect him from terrorists. Obama had a famous encounter with a normally Republican voting pizza place guy who gave him a bearhug. The Republicans kicked themselves for not having nominated Herman Cain, turns out that pizza //did// play a crucial role in deciding the election. Obama had a disappointing debate performance due to being possessed by the ghost of John Denver and then a better two. The media constantly went on and on about how close it was. Meanwhile Nate Silver quietly pointed out that at no point across the whole campaign had Romney led, and was promptly ignored. Then on election night Obama won by a sizeable amount and the media pointed out how surprising it was, causing TV viewing figures in AH.com households to drop overnight due to the number of bricks thrown at TV screens. |
- | Far more importantly from an AH.com perspective, | + | Far more importantly from an AH.com perspective, |
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offtopic/2012_us_presidential_election.1353254543.txt.gz · Last modified: 2019/03/29 15:15 (external edit)