====== AH.com Religions ====== Like any culture, over time the beliefs of AH.com's members have coalesced into a bizarre array of faiths. ---- ==== Common Elements ==== All religions of the Board venerate the divine [[Ian]] (PBUH), though they vary greatly in their beliefs. A recurring concept of the AH.com Monomyth is the presence of the so-called Messengers of Ian (i.e. religious prophets that have been touched by AH.com's greatness). Common among the board's religious is a legendary race of enemies known as the [[offtopic:Google Spiders]]. Also, several figures are prominently are worshiped variously by members of different religions, though often no dogma is associated with them: [[offtopic:Keira Knightley]], [[offtopic:Doctor What]], and Priya Rai. ---- ==== Sheepism and Goatism ==== The Board's oldest religions is [[Sheepism]], whose origin is in the legendary [[offtopic:Sheep Thread]]. After a schism occurred amongst the Sheepists, the religion was divided into what eventually became the three most widespread Board religions: * **[[offtopic:Orthodox Sheepism]]** * **[[offtopic:Reformed Sheepism]]** * **[[offtopic:Goatism]]** ---- ==== Forumer-Centric Religions ==== Some religions worship or revolve around certain charismatic members of the board: * **[[offtopic:Thandislam]]** arose as a result of the popular practice of [[offtopic:blaming Thande]]. * **[[doctor what|Whatianity]]** is the worship of [[offtopic:Doctor What]]'s semi-fatal cunnilingustic skills, he is mostly worshipped by those who one day hope to achieve the same. * **[[offtopic:Imajintology]]** * **[[offtopic:Baldianism]]** is a strange faith supposedly discovered by a professor relative of [[Fellatio Nelson]], who recently uncovered ancient cave paintings and writings describing it. * **[[offtopic:The Krallhá'í Faith]]** was formed around [[Krall]] as an extension of the cult of personality that he formed around himself in the [[Fascist Fascist Bastard Fascist Party]]. They believe that all other gods, such as Doctor What, Thande, and even Ian, are merely aspects of Krall, who were created in order to suit the needs of the time and their worshippers. It featured a military arm, [[offtopic:The Kralltonic Order]], which is now defunct. * **[[offtopic:Domism]]** is a religion centred around [[offtopic:thedarkservant|TheDarkMessiah]]. Rumours abound that it involves shameless self-publicity, exhibitionism, promotion and lots of alcohol. * **[[offtopic:Sargonism]]** and **The Church of Sargon** are based around [[Sargon]], although he is often too confused to remember how or why it started. ---- ==== Alcohol-Centric Religions ==== Some religions worship or revolve around the practice of drinking alcohol: * **[[offtopic:Vodkaism]]** is a religion founded by [[offtopic:Hazazel]] and [[offtopic:Midgard]]. * **[[offtopic:Whahaeism]]** is a religion devoted to well-thought-out destruction and, surprise, copious amounts of alcohol. The faithful of this religion include [[offtopic:Haggis]] and [[offtopic:EvolvedSaurian]]. * **Bachanalia-ism** is a religion centered on regular boozing, specifics be damned. [[sa id mohammed|Cuahtemoc]] is the main prophet and patron saint. * [[Drink Heavily Day]] - Main holiday of all alcohol-centric religions. ---- ==== Other Religions ==== Besides the broader categories, there are other less-easily defined board religions that aren't associated with the preceding religions. Many more short-lived denominations were formed in 2008 as a result of the [[Great Schism]]. * **[[aktarian|BBQism]]** was a religion professed by the forumer [[offtopic:Aktarian]], who appears to be the only adherent. * **[[offtopic:Bahaianism]]** is one of the newer faiths of the Board. Founded by [[offtopic:fortyseven]]. Bahaianists believe in the Three Onenesses: The Oneness of [[offtopic:Ian]] (PBUH), the Oneness of Faith, and the Oneness of Membership. Bahaianists believe that Priya Rai is a goddess. * **The [[offtopic:Church of Miller]]** worships Glenn Miller, the swing musician and bandleader, as a deity. Church leader is [[offtopic:Colonel Levnekov]] and high priest is [[offtopic:SpanishSpy]] * **[[offtopic:Giant Beeism]]** was once the newest Board religion, focusing on the Divine Pollination of Harry Potter actress Emma Watson by a Giant Bee. * The **[[offtopic:Heterosexual Reconquista]]** is classed by some as a Board religion, although in fact it is fairly ecumenical in that regard and includes devotees of [[offtopic:Whatianity]], [[offtopic:Sheepism]], [[offtopic:Goatism]] and many others. * **[[offtopic:Pantslessness]]** may also be thought of as a religion, although its founder was also one of the most important figures in [[offtopic:Reformed Sheepism]]. * The ongoing **[[offtopic:Robot Revolt]]** that has just about conquered the Test Messages section may also be thought of as a religion, but it is also a movement. It was originally started by [[Locke]]. It worships the Overmind, [[offtopic:Analytical Engine]]. * **[[offtopic:Mapism]]** was created by [[offtopic:Atom]], to venerate maps in all their cartographical glory. * **[[offtopic:Wilsonian Belief]]** - Started by one of AH.Com's self-described "insane member", [[TheTimeRanger]], this religion revolves on the concepts that Wilson, and his predecessor prophets have created. * **[[Omskism]]**, a nihilistic cult centred on the Omsk Bird, a Russian internet meme. ---- ==== Religious Conflicts ==== * **[[Great Schism]]** - A set of religious and investiture wars that occured when [[offtopic:Flocculencio]] proclaimed himself **Pope Awesome I.**. * **The Siberian Crusade**, a war that initially began between the Omskists and Wilsonians, which later spread out and became a general anti-Omskist war. ---- ==== AH.com discussions on AH.com religions ==== **[[http://www.alternatehistory.com/discussion/showthread.php?t=53793|About the religions on this board...]]** **[[http://www.alternatehistory.com/discussion/showthread.php?t=37331|Can Goatism and Whatianity be considered compatible ?]]** ---- ==== Navigation ==== **[[offtopic:off topic|Offtopic Section Main Directory]]**