The Portuguese conquest reads like a bad novel with cheesy one liners.
Like when the Persian sent an embassy to Hormux to collect tribute and Albuquerque sent back canon balls and spears saying those were the only tribute they would ever pay.
Or Duarte Pacheico Perreira defending Cochin against an army 100 times his own forces and defeated them so badly the enemy king became a monk.
You can't make that shit up
The one liners weren't that cheesy!! Well, if we are honest, I do have to admit that, they were a bit...
I had no idea that the guy became a monk afterwards! You really can't make this shit up. It's just like the guy that had powder for one more shot, but no bullets and decided to remove a tooth just to fire one last time and the guys attacking him shitted themselves because they thought he was out of ammunition.