You Gotta Have Hart: A Different 1988 and Beyond
- Thread starter Meyer London
- Start date
Iowa Caucus Predictions-
Democrats: David Ruffin
Republicans: Jerry Falwell
The two best candidates possible
Democrats: David Ruffin
Republicans: Jerry Falwell
The two best candidates possible
The Iowa Caucuses, Part One
Gentleman Biaggi
Banned
February 8th, 1988
An article appearing in the Des Moines Register
Results of the Caucuses Still Anyone's Guess
As the candidates for both the Democratic and Republican parties continue to frantically crisscross our state, looking for every last vote, most experts are predicting close races in both caucuses tonight.
The most recent polling indicates a tight race between former Colorado Senator Gary Hart, Illinois Senator Paul Simon and businessman Lee Iacocca for the Democrats. On the Republican side, the national front-runner, Vice President George Bush, appears to be trailingKansas Senator Bob Dole and Indiana Senator Dan Quayle here in Iowa.
But, as a whole, both elections appear to be extremely tight.
We at the Des Moines Register, as writers second and citizens of Iowa first, encourage all of our readers to go to their local caucus location tonight and exercise your democratic right to vote, no matter the candidate.
You all have the power to change thedirection of this nation. Don't let that power mean nothing.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
10:07 AM
A conversation between Jack Kemp and a reporter
"Jack, Jack, can I get a comment this morning?"
"I didn't know we were on a first name basis, but sure, what's your question?"
"Well, Mr. Kemp, recent polling has put you at less than 5% here in Iowa. According to other polls, you aren't faring much better nationally. How do you expect to be the Republican nominee at this time?"
"Well, I'm confident that I can win this party's nomination. I think our support here in Iowa is being undersold. It seems to me that this battle between Bush and Quayle is already becoming tiresome to the common people of this state, and of the nation. I think I can present an alternative."
"Well, this brings me to the question I am sure you will answer a dozen times before the day is out. How do you think you'll do in tonight's all-important caucus?"
"I am a confident man, I'm a former football player, so naturally I am a confident guy. I think we're going to win here in Iowa tonight."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
11:22 AM
A conversation between Al Gore and his campaign manager, Fred Martin
"Be honest, Fred. You know better than anybody. What's the best we can do tonight?"
"Well, we aren't going to win..."
"I could've told you that. Anybody could looking at the polls. But do we have enough to keep the campaign going? If I want a shot at the VP spot we need to have a little leverage."
"My projections have us at somewhere between 9% and 15%. I think that if we can break double digits we can keep fighting."
"Good, good.... How's our fundraising looking?"
"Jackson being in the race is doing us no favors. If you were the only Southern candidate, we would be rolling in dough. As it is, we are struggling. Like I said, break double digits and we'll be fine."
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12:44 PM
A Phone Call Between Jesse Jackson and Bernie Sanders
"Hello! It's good to hear from you today, Bernie. I trust that you are well."
"Sure I am, but I'd be doing a lot better if I knew you were going to pull through and win that Caucus today. How're you feeling about your chances?"
"To be completely frank, we are done for in this state. You know it as well as I do, Iowa is moderate and lily white. These people just aren't my base."
"As long as Iacocca doesn't win this one. Big business is killing this country, Jesse, and if he becomes president it will only get worse. I just don't understand how people don't see it..."
"Bernie, while I have you, I just wanted to thank you again for your endorsement. I know it was hard for you, especially in your home state---"
"Ain't that the truth! Jesse, I'll tell you, I was giving a town hall in support of you a few weeks back and when I was done I walked off the stage and a woman, I didn't know this woman, but this woman slapped me in the face. Can you believe that?"
"The way that some of these lily white states are? I'm not surprised at all. As I was saying, it took a lot of courage. You and I share a lot of the same ideas. I'd really enjoy getting to work with you sometime down the road."
"Me too, Jesse, me too. Best of luck today."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2:43 PM
“I tell ya Barack, I think tonight's gonna be a great night”
Paul Simon was smiling as he straightened his bow tie.
“Yes, this win is exactly the thing we need to get our campaign up and running!”
“Thank goodness for Harkin's endorsement, without it, that bully Iacocca would be doing just as well as Quayle is for the Republicans.”
“Yes, but we can’t count him out just yet. Both him and Hart have run good campaigns here.”
“Always the optimist, aren’t ya Barack?”
*Laughter*
“Well even with my less than optimistic view on this race, I still think we have a fantastic shot.”
“Great, let’s hope the cards are in our favor”
-Conversation between Paul Simon and assistant Barack Obama
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So this concludes Part One of our two-part mega update. Tune in in 90 minutes to see the conclusion of the Iowa Caucuses.
An article appearing in the Des Moines Register
Results of the Caucuses Still Anyone's Guess
As the candidates for both the Democratic and Republican parties continue to frantically crisscross our state, looking for every last vote, most experts are predicting close races in both caucuses tonight.
The most recent polling indicates a tight race between former Colorado Senator Gary Hart, Illinois Senator Paul Simon and businessman Lee Iacocca for the Democrats. On the Republican side, the national front-runner, Vice President George Bush, appears to be trailingKansas Senator Bob Dole and Indiana Senator Dan Quayle here in Iowa.
But, as a whole, both elections appear to be extremely tight.
We at the Des Moines Register, as writers second and citizens of Iowa first, encourage all of our readers to go to their local caucus location tonight and exercise your democratic right to vote, no matter the candidate.
You all have the power to change thedirection of this nation. Don't let that power mean nothing.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
10:07 AM
A conversation between Jack Kemp and a reporter
"Jack, Jack, can I get a comment this morning?"
"I didn't know we were on a first name basis, but sure, what's your question?"
"Well, Mr. Kemp, recent polling has put you at less than 5% here in Iowa. According to other polls, you aren't faring much better nationally. How do you expect to be the Republican nominee at this time?"
"Well, I'm confident that I can win this party's nomination. I think our support here in Iowa is being undersold. It seems to me that this battle between Bush and Quayle is already becoming tiresome to the common people of this state, and of the nation. I think I can present an alternative."
"Well, this brings me to the question I am sure you will answer a dozen times before the day is out. How do you think you'll do in tonight's all-important caucus?"
"I am a confident man, I'm a former football player, so naturally I am a confident guy. I think we're going to win here in Iowa tonight."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
11:22 AM
A conversation between Al Gore and his campaign manager, Fred Martin
"Be honest, Fred. You know better than anybody. What's the best we can do tonight?"
"Well, we aren't going to win..."
"I could've told you that. Anybody could looking at the polls. But do we have enough to keep the campaign going? If I want a shot at the VP spot we need to have a little leverage."
"My projections have us at somewhere between 9% and 15%. I think that if we can break double digits we can keep fighting."
"Good, good.... How's our fundraising looking?"
"Jackson being in the race is doing us no favors. If you were the only Southern candidate, we would be rolling in dough. As it is, we are struggling. Like I said, break double digits and we'll be fine."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
12:44 PM
A Phone Call Between Jesse Jackson and Bernie Sanders
"Hello! It's good to hear from you today, Bernie. I trust that you are well."
"Sure I am, but I'd be doing a lot better if I knew you were going to pull through and win that Caucus today. How're you feeling about your chances?"
"To be completely frank, we are done for in this state. You know it as well as I do, Iowa is moderate and lily white. These people just aren't my base."
"As long as Iacocca doesn't win this one. Big business is killing this country, Jesse, and if he becomes president it will only get worse. I just don't understand how people don't see it..."
"Bernie, while I have you, I just wanted to thank you again for your endorsement. I know it was hard for you, especially in your home state---"
"Ain't that the truth! Jesse, I'll tell you, I was giving a town hall in support of you a few weeks back and when I was done I walked off the stage and a woman, I didn't know this woman, but this woman slapped me in the face. Can you believe that?"
"The way that some of these lily white states are? I'm not surprised at all. As I was saying, it took a lot of courage. You and I share a lot of the same ideas. I'd really enjoy getting to work with you sometime down the road."
"Me too, Jesse, me too. Best of luck today."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2:43 PM
“I tell ya Barack, I think tonight's gonna be a great night”
Paul Simon was smiling as he straightened his bow tie.
“Yes, this win is exactly the thing we need to get our campaign up and running!”
“Thank goodness for Harkin's endorsement, without it, that bully Iacocca would be doing just as well as Quayle is for the Republicans.”
“Yes, but we can’t count him out just yet. Both him and Hart have run good campaigns here.”
“Always the optimist, aren’t ya Barack?”
*Laughter*
“Well even with my less than optimistic view on this race, I still think we have a fantastic shot.”
“Great, let’s hope the cards are in our favor”
-Conversation between Paul Simon and assistant Barack Obama
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So this concludes Part One of our two-part mega update. Tune in in 90 minutes to see the conclusion of the Iowa Caucuses.
Dennis Miller is Gary Hart, Michael J. Fox in a recurring role as Dan Quayle (i.e. Baldwin as Trump IOTL), and Phil Hartman plays Lee Iacocca.
The Iowa Caucuses, Part Two
IMPORTANT ELECTION UPDATE
"We can now announce the official results of the Iowa Caucus for both parties..."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Five Minutes After Results
“What the fuck just happened!?”
“S-Sir, Hart beat you by one percentage point...”
“Son of a Bitch! And that four-eyed, bow tied motherfucker nearly beat me!”
“Simon was assis-”
“I know goddamn well what he was assisted by!”
“Y-yes sir”
“I refuse to let that establishment lapdog defeat me one more goddamn time! Call up someone from that Granite State and make it mine!”
“I’ll try to make it happen...”
“Don’t just try, goddamn it! This is a real campaign, we need endorsements!”
-Conversation between Lee Iacocca and a staffer
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At the exact same moment
“How-how did Quayle win by so much?”
“I tell you Pete, this party is moving farther and farther to the right.”
“I thought my Hawa-”
“I did too. Look, be honest with yourself Pete, this campaign isn’t succeeding as as it should. We should endorse the Democrats, they’ve managed to give their party sanity.”
“Charles, I never expected you to sound so weak! We cannot end this campaign! Sure, we’re only polling high in a few states, but we need this party to realize what we can bring to the table so we can swing this party to moderacy!”
-Conversation between Charles Mathias and Pete Du Point
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
45 minutes after results
"What can I say, Iowa? Faced with the choice between New Ideas, fresh plans for this country, or the status quo, you picked the future rather than the past. And it was a good choice, if I do say so myself!
First and foremost, I'd like to congratulate Senator Paul Simon and Mr. Iacocca for the tight race, along with all of my fellow democratic primary participants. This is clearly the party of issues, and no matter the nominee in this party, they would be a much better choice than any of the Republicans.
Four years ago, Walter Mondale defeated me here in Iowa. I didn't hold it against you, I swear I didn't. And to be victorious four years later, I can't help but feel proud of how far our movement has come.
And this is just the beginning! We'll be in New Hampshire, Minnesota, and all the other great states in this union. We're going to fight for every vote, every single vote, and we're going to be in the White House in November!
I don't want to call myself the front-runner - that seems to be a cursed term in politics these days. But I've never felt more confident in the will of the people than I do at this moment..."
-An excerpt of Gary Hart's victory speech in Iowa
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
60 minutes after results
"I can't believe this, I just can't believe this," George H.W. Bush spit out, almost frothing at the mouth. "Iowa? Lee, I don't understand what happened here!?"
Lee Atwater stood opposite the Vice President, cool and cunning as ever.
"Here's your concession speech, sir." he said, handing Bush the text, "It's a fighting speech."
"A fighting speech? Lee, I don't think you understand the magnitude of what has transpired here tonight! We were beaten by a bumpkin! We got passed by Bob Dole! What's next?"
"New Hampshire is next, sir. I took it easy on Quayle here in Iowa, I didn't think attacks would play well with this crowd. But now we are headed to New Hampshire, and I'm going to sink that puppet bastard."
"You better, or else this campaign is dead," Bush said, "Now, I'm going to give this speech. As much as it kills me."
The minute Bush walked out in front of the crowd, he had a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eyes. Despite his recent temper, he still had it. Lee Atwater knew he could win, he just knew it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
70 minutes after the results
"Well, shucks folks, can you believe it? We did it!
We fought the establishment, the moderates that are tearing our beautiful Republican party apart at the seams, and we beat them. We sent them a message they won't soon forget.
You all are the true heroes in this story. Without you all, this campaign couldn't succeed. I thank you all.
The momentum is on our side, and I don't plan to stop. We are going to fight in New Hampshire, and every state after.
The message of our campaign, that a return to conservative values will create a new, prosperous America in the impending twenty first century, has not fallen on deaf ears here in Iowa, and the message will be picked up by patriots throughout this great country.
Thank you all, God bless you, and God bless the United States of America!"
-An excerpt of Dan Quayle's victory speech
"We can now announce the official results of the Iowa Caucus for both parties..."
Republican Results:
Dan Quayle: 37.3%
Bob Dole: 28.5%
George H.W Bush: 25.2%
Jack Kemp: 4.8%
Pete Du Point: 4.2%
Democratic Results:
Gary Hart: 25.2%
Lee Iacocca: 24.5%
Paul Simon: 24.1%
Dicky G: 11.1%
Al Gore: 10.1%
Jesse Jackson: 5%
Dan Quayle: 37.3%
Bob Dole: 28.5%
George H.W Bush: 25.2%
Jack Kemp: 4.8%
Pete Du Point: 4.2%
Democratic Results:
Gary Hart: 25.2%
Lee Iacocca: 24.5%
Paul Simon: 24.1%
Dicky G: 11.1%
Al Gore: 10.1%
Jesse Jackson: 5%
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“What the fuck just happened!?”
“S-Sir, Hart beat you by one percentage point...”
“Son of a Bitch! And that four-eyed, bow tied motherfucker nearly beat me!”
“Simon was assis-”
“I know goddamn well what he was assisted by!”
“Y-yes sir”
“I refuse to let that establishment lapdog defeat me one more goddamn time! Call up someone from that Granite State and make it mine!”
“I’ll try to make it happen...”
“Don’t just try, goddamn it! This is a real campaign, we need endorsements!”
-Conversation between Lee Iacocca and a staffer
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At the exact same moment
“How-how did Quayle win by so much?”
“I tell you Pete, this party is moving farther and farther to the right.”
“I thought my Hawa-”
“I did too. Look, be honest with yourself Pete, this campaign isn’t succeeding as as it should. We should endorse the Democrats, they’ve managed to give their party sanity.”
“Charles, I never expected you to sound so weak! We cannot end this campaign! Sure, we’re only polling high in a few states, but we need this party to realize what we can bring to the table so we can swing this party to moderacy!”
-Conversation between Charles Mathias and Pete Du Point
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
45 minutes after results
"What can I say, Iowa? Faced with the choice between New Ideas, fresh plans for this country, or the status quo, you picked the future rather than the past. And it was a good choice, if I do say so myself!
First and foremost, I'd like to congratulate Senator Paul Simon and Mr. Iacocca for the tight race, along with all of my fellow democratic primary participants. This is clearly the party of issues, and no matter the nominee in this party, they would be a much better choice than any of the Republicans.
Four years ago, Walter Mondale defeated me here in Iowa. I didn't hold it against you, I swear I didn't. And to be victorious four years later, I can't help but feel proud of how far our movement has come.
And this is just the beginning! We'll be in New Hampshire, Minnesota, and all the other great states in this union. We're going to fight for every vote, every single vote, and we're going to be in the White House in November!
I don't want to call myself the front-runner - that seems to be a cursed term in politics these days. But I've never felt more confident in the will of the people than I do at this moment..."
-An excerpt of Gary Hart's victory speech in Iowa
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
60 minutes after results
"I can't believe this, I just can't believe this," George H.W. Bush spit out, almost frothing at the mouth. "Iowa? Lee, I don't understand what happened here!?"
Lee Atwater stood opposite the Vice President, cool and cunning as ever.
"Here's your concession speech, sir." he said, handing Bush the text, "It's a fighting speech."
"A fighting speech? Lee, I don't think you understand the magnitude of what has transpired here tonight! We were beaten by a bumpkin! We got passed by Bob Dole! What's next?"
"New Hampshire is next, sir. I took it easy on Quayle here in Iowa, I didn't think attacks would play well with this crowd. But now we are headed to New Hampshire, and I'm going to sink that puppet bastard."
"You better, or else this campaign is dead," Bush said, "Now, I'm going to give this speech. As much as it kills me."
The minute Bush walked out in front of the crowd, he had a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eyes. Despite his recent temper, he still had it. Lee Atwater knew he could win, he just knew it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
70 minutes after the results
"Well, shucks folks, can you believe it? We did it!
We fought the establishment, the moderates that are tearing our beautiful Republican party apart at the seams, and we beat them. We sent them a message they won't soon forget.
You all are the true heroes in this story. Without you all, this campaign couldn't succeed. I thank you all.
The momentum is on our side, and I don't plan to stop. We are going to fight in New Hampshire, and every state after.
The message of our campaign, that a return to conservative values will create a new, prosperous America in the impending twenty first century, has not fallen on deaf ears here in Iowa, and the message will be picked up by patriots throughout this great country.
Thank you all, God bless you, and God bless the United States of America!"
-An excerpt of Dan Quayle's victory speech
P O T A T O E
But seriously, I'm impressed J. Danforth strung all those sentences together. That was always touch and go with him...
Waiting to see what Lee "Please Allow Me To Introduce Myself" Atwater gets up to. South Carolina will be the real test...
Well, seems to me that George HW Bush just got a taste of Dan's dust! This will definitely cause the ire of the Vice President. Bush will definitely focus more attention on the "Potatoe" guy!
As for Hart, this seems to be the beginning of Lee's and Gary's rivalry and a political fight of words and insults by Lee and speeches by Hart. Of course, Jackson will still prioritize his liberal views, and will still work with good old Bern.
Gentleman Biaggi
Banned
Gentleman Biaggi
Banned
Hey everyone - with the New Hampshire Primary coming up, we are going to take tonight off to make sure everything is perfect with the next few updates. Three days in a row of posts upcoming!
Gentleman Biaggi
Banned
https://www.alternatehistory.com/forum/threads/tell-us-sweet-burning-lies.400500/
Spolier: George Bush wins with VP Fred Alexander (too much bad blood with Quayle) and Atwater ends up getting himself appointed to Secretary of Music after it's created in 1990. Then, all the people ahead of his spot die suspiously and Atwater and Traficant invade Canada to gain their magic hockey powers