So you're saying the west should occupy russia? Because that is basically what it would take.
It's not an occupation if they are willingly trying to incorporate themselves. Now, in 2019 and the near future, it would take something akin to an occupation.
In 1991, which is when I am refering to, it would have been more like incorporating the other countries. There was no reason to treat Russia like it literally was the Soviet Union but smaller. That's the unnecessary part.
You described Russia as being the exact same situation as what Germany was without foreign occupation. If that's the case, it should have been able to integrate the same manner, maybe slower, but they wouldn't have a reason stop the process, as they arent being antagonized, and the public would have been benefiting, so they'd face public dissent if they tried.
Thus Russia would both democratize and be incorporated to Europe, and quite likely wouldn't be opposing the U.S. (bar the EU and U.S. having a split, as iirc the U.S. was a main drive against the Russian's being incorporated)