WI : PepsiCo kept its navy and extended itself into a private military company?

Discussion in 'Alternate History Discussion: After 1900' started by Meordal, Apr 17, 2019 at 8:09 AM.

  1. Meordal Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2017
    Pepsico security guards



    The first Pepsico military plane on display[​IMG]

    PepsiCo recruitment poster for chinese contractors
    [​IMG]

    A recruitment campaign aimed at US veterans.

    [​IMG]


    What would happen if PepsiCo decided to become a private military company, keeping its fleet, buying more soviet weaponry and seizing the opportunities of the power vacuum at the end of Soviet Union to work as military contractors and arms dealers from Russia?

     
    Last edited: Apr 18, 2019 at 7:39 AM
  2. Dolan Lookin fer Gooby

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    Apr 4, 2018
    While taking over Soviet Union or Russia is nigh impossible, they could, theoretically, intervene on Somalia or some other African country and end up taking that land as their personal fiefdom.

    US then secretly subsidize Coca Cola with Veterans and military hardwares to fought the African Cola War
     
  3. RamscoopRaider Some Sort of Were-Orca, probably an Akhlut Donor

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    It loses money. Here's the thing the USSR sold Pepsi those warships because they were old and obsolete. The newest of those submarines is from 1962 or earlier, the cruiser is 1955 or older, the Destroyer 1967 or older and the Frigate 1966 or older. The USSR sold them to Pepsi for scrap value, if they were worth more than that, the USSR would have gotten more out of them than $150,000 per sub. These ships are no more than target practice in the modern era, and being old are going to be maintenance intensive and require a lot more crew, so are going to be very expensive to operate, assuming they are in a condition to return to service and don't need extensive repairs/rearming, almost certainly not.

    Also how the hell are they supposed to make money? Who is going to hire a bunch of obsolete Soviet Warships, what are they going to be doing that can't be done cheaper other ways
     
  4. Jiraiyathegallant Well-Known Member

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    Pepsi forces companies around the world to drop Coke. Some brave establishments standup to them, starting the Fast Food War where Pepsi begins systematically killing all Coke Distrubutors, McDonalds, and several other prominent companies. Several prominent companies fall to Pepsi, but Coke eventually bleeds Pepsi white while McDonalds and Walmart destroys their infrastructure with a strategic bombing campaign. After Coke takes Pepsi’s HQ, Pepsi surrenders unconditionally. Pepsi’s board of directors is put on trial.

    With this, all of Pepsi’s assets are divided between the three companies. McDonalds and Walmart want Pepsi restored as a major company that can freely sell their product, while Coke wants to keep them down to ensure nothing like this happens again. Coke frees none of the companies they liberated from Pepsi, and the Cold War begins.
     
  5. Jackson Lennock Well-Known Member

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    Pepsi takes over Mexico and renames the country Pepsico.
     
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  6. Carl Schwamberger Well-Known Member

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    Dec 14, 2012
    Rent a Coast Guard to dirt poor Third World nations.? Take the rent in the form of raw material extraction/export contracts. Contract their air & ship port operations, their law enforcement, courts, army ect....
     
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  7. Alex1guy First Of His Name

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    I feel like third world counties don't have a lot of money... They'd be better off selling soft drink... FROM THE SUBMARINES!
     
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  8. SealTheRealDeal Well-Known Member

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    I don't think there's much of a market for naval PMCs. If the soviets paid them in tanks, rifles, and planes they may have had something, but few if any countries are looking for sea lane patrols.
     
  9. Meordal Well-Known Member

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  10. kio Well-Known Member

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    Pepsi goes bankrupt from the massive amounts of money needed to service the ships, buy munitions, and pay crews. But it would be pretty funny to see Pepsi-emblazoned ships show up at some civil war.
     
  11. Tanc49 Domitian Truther

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    Oct 9, 2014
    It'd put a whole new meaning to the term "guerilla marketing" though.
    If we're imaginative, Pepsi could use it as gunboat diplomacy to extract commercial advantages from 3rd world countries.
    Give us the water contract or we bomb your port
     
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  12. Kerguelen Prime Specimen

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    They would probably use the ships in advertising or in some watershow, not much else they can do with some rusty old cruisers.
     
  13. brokenrobot00 Active Member

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    A dark day in the history of the world when the Cola Wars turned hot and there are few things worse than hot cola. Seriously I was considering doing a post like this for April Fools Day and wondered if anyone else would touch on it. Something like Pepsi trading for the ships and starting to hunt down cargo vessels shipping Coke products or missile strikes on bottling plants near coasts or river inlets. More and more of the Fortune 500 getting drawn into the fighting. A Shasta-Faygo guerilla alliance doing hit and run attacks. It would have to be ASB as it's ridiculous but makes me laugh every time I think of it.
     
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  14. DaveBC Well-Known Member

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    Apr 26, 2014
    Not much call for private rustbucket navies as opposed to private ground security forces. I suppose they could have been hired to do anti-piracy duty in the Indian Ocean but the cost of keeping such ancient ships operational would surely be very high.

    I realize that this is a light-hearted thread so I'm sorry to be the downer but if the ships were really worth anything, the Soviets would have sold them to someone else for more money and then used some of the proceeds to pay for their soft drinks. The fact that they went to Pepsi directly presumably means that every single seafaring or even just sea-adjacent country in the world, plus every shipping company and every mercenary firm, passed these up as being not worth the effort.
     
  15. Tanc49 Domitian Truther

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    How illegal would it be if they attacked in international waters?
     
  16. Blorg Probably human.

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    Somewhere in Canada
    Meanwhile off the coast of Liberia on the PEP ship PEPSI

    What the fuck do you mean you want to drink water??
     
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  17. Kruglyasheo Well-Known Member

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    Apr 14, 2016
    I do not want to upset anyone, but before selling all the armaments and, in general, almost everything valuable including ship propellers were removed from the submarines. It was literally scrap metal.
     
  18. Carl Schwamberger Well-Known Member

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    We know, but the idea is cute & not the usual conversation about extra Tiger tanks in 1943.
     
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  19. DaveBC Well-Known Member

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    Pepsi could have installed the big stirring blades from its soda vats as propellers.

    (Admittedly I have no idea how soft drinks are manufactured but there must be spinning blades somewhere in the process.)
     
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  20. Tanc49 Domitian Truther

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    Oct 9, 2014
    Well, now you've done it. I'm officially upset. I do not thank you. Good day sir.

    Otherwise, how could you have dramatic show downs at the end of the movie ?
     
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