But I think a smart Versailles Treaty should focus on East Europe rather than Germany really. A major problem with OTL Versailles was that East Europe was split up in a lot of small and medium sized states, whom had revanchiest claim toward each other, with German minorities spread more or less thinly all over these states, and Germany was more less even in it weaken state still the 800 pound gorilla. If you insist on splitting up Austria Hungary look to create some more viable successor states, keep Austria as big and multicultural as possible (let them keep Slovenia, Küstenland and Tyrol at the very least, Bohemia are likely impossible), give Czechoslovakia the entire Silesia and Lusatia, that would force the Czechs to cooperate more with Slovaks and Ruthenian to run the country to avoid being overwhelm by the Germans (in OTL the Czechs could run the show themself with 51% of the population, being forced to relay on the Slovaks could create a common identity), and Silesia make it a stronger state too. Yugoslavia wasn't really a bad idea except in hindsigth so let us keep that around, unless we can find a good reason for a Austrian-Croatian union. Beside that keep as many of the old institutions around as possible, a Habsburg Archduke if possible would be a good idea, much of the Austrian legitimicy as a separate state from the rest of Germany lays in the Habsburg monarchy.
The idea of removing the admitting war guilt, reparitions, the limits on the size of the military clauses are a quite good idea, those (especially the first and last) pissed the Germans off even more than the loss of territorium. The removal of reparitions also have the benefit that we see a more stable Weimar Republic without the enourmous loss of capital. Another clause I would push for removing was that, was to make the Rhine, Elb and Oder international territorium it wasn't just insulting it was also a continued rubbing the Germans in the face over their loss.