Part 2: Gordon's "Soup for One"
"But Tony was never late."
Gordon Brown's mind interjected into his confidence. As far as Brown was concerned lateness was his prerogative and when he turned up 45 minutes past the planned time he had expected that scunner Blair to be a sweatin' on his arrival, but as the waiter led him to the special table, discreet in the rear of the Granita, that was reserved for Labour Party nobility, that famous welcoming grin was nowhere to be seen.
He'd brought along his protege Balls as much for the confidence boost of his sycophantic persona as anything. They had ordered iced tap water (Blair was to pay for the meal as usual) and Balls had begun licking his namesake.
"Blair is just a flash in the pan. It's you the party wants. You are the heavyweight and I can't see him handling the job. Give him 2 years and he won't want the job."
"You just watch, son. With what I've got planned for him, I don't see him lasting the year oot."
As he observed the Master in action, Balls knew that Brown normally got what he wanted through professing friendship while all the time working from behind his back on that unfortunate's downfall. He almost pitied Blair.
But Blair had not shown. The ice had melted in the jug but neither man had summonsed the waiter fearful they might have to reach into their own pocket. They both observed the single glass of water left in the jug then Balls had made some excuse and left him to fill his glass with the by now warming water.
His nerves were fraying. Had Blair stood him up at the altar? Och he could feel his stomach rumbling. Suddenly he was aware of himself chewing on a huge booger he had unconsciously picked out. This was a childish relic that he reverted too when under extreme duress. He glanced around and prayed that he, the Political Giant, had not been caught out putting a bogie into his gob by any of his public.
A tap on his shoulder startled him. He almost started to deny the offense.
"I... I..."
The head waiter looked at him quizically.
"Sir, I have a telephone call from a Mr Blair he would like you to take in the back room..."