WI:Nazi-Soviet SeaLion

Would it work?

  • Yes

    Votes: 7 10.6%
  • No

    Votes: 59 89.4%

  • Total voters
    66
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Sally Field?

Isn't she like 97 and a half?
EXACTLY!
Will Smith has a passionate kissing scene with her. And he looks DIGUSTED
Anyway...
don't forget the Japanese Empire, they're the quiet one ... in this friendly group
Ah yes the Japanese, I forgot..
The Longest Swim III Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
Kure Naval Base
Well, Admiral Yamamoto,Yamato and Musashi are most certainly impressive.
Thank you emperor, I don't know why I'm still alive in this TL but it will be an honour to command them.
Excellent, Admiral.
As you know the Nazis, Soviets and the Italians all tried, and failed to invade Britain, It would bring great honour to The Empire if we were to crush the British.
So, I suggest we rebuild Yamato and Musashi to be hybrid carriers. The will be loaded full of Zeros. That way we can take out the 2 British ships that have somehow, singlehandely destroyed two invasion forces.
What about Shinano Emperor? Can't we just use her instead of making Y&M hybrids?
No, I'm afraid that would be much to boring.
Instead we will use her a troop carrier, but for some reason we will load her full of aviation fuel.

3 months later
Hello admiral, good to see you again.
Greetings Emperor, same to you.
I see you have finished Yamato and Musashi..excellent..are they completly invincible like I asked?
Em...yeah they are..completly invincible..
What do you mean?
What do you mean what do I mean!?
What? You hesitated, when I asked if they were totally invincible. They are completly invincible right?
Yeah..yeah..
You did it again! Are they completly invincible or not?
Well..no, no..it's nothing
Tell me Admiral!
Well, their is a ventilation shaft, and that happens to go straight into the magazines, which is Aldo where we are somehow holding all the Kamikazes. So if a shell hits that..the entire Ship will blow up..
Well that's a pretty big Flaw! Can't you board it over, or something?
Yeah..yeah, we can do that..sure..

HMS Hood, English Channel
Sir the Japanese invasion force is coming!
Bob, I swear to God, if they are something like Rowing boats or gondolas I'm going to break your goddamn neck!
Jesus, sir that's a bit harsh..
Oh sorry I forgot to take my meds..
You know that that kind of emotional trauma gets to me!(sobs)
Bob, I'm sorry..I wasn't thinking straight..
No..you showed your true colours today..I'm taking the kids!
What? What are you talking about Bob, we don't have kids, I'm married to my wife!
Yeah sir, when you two are finished with your weird'thing' we have some bigger problems, 2 MASSIVE battleships and a carrier off our Port beam sir.
Holy sh...
Cameo of Yamato, Musashi and Shinano roaring threw the sea
Cameo of Hood and Warpite bringing their guns to bear.

IJN Musashi magazine
Finally I can have a smoke..I've been dying for one..wow look at all those ridiculously explosive bags of cordite
And look at all of those kamikazees, full of explosives..and why can I smell aviation fuel?
Ah well 'flicks lighter'

'Massive explosion lights up the sky'
IJN Yamato
Holy Sh*t!
The Musashi just exploded!
We should really reconsider invading this island!

Hms Warspite
Jesus! Look at that!
What, I heard you called my name
Wow Jesus!
That's right, it's me. But I only came down to get some Poptarts
Oh..
Yeah..
Could you..help us out?..
I think you be fine Larry...you'll be just fine(80s music, you know the kind I'm talking about, maybe Bryan Adams? I can imagine him singing)

Hms Hood
Sir A and B are ready to fire
Open Fire!
The shell burst out of the Hoods gun, leaving the ship miles behind in a matter of seconds, camera begins to turn towards where the shell is heading. Yamato is where that shell is heading. That one Death Star flaw gap that they didn't bother boarding up is where that shell is going
Yup you guessed it

KABOOM
Shinano
Sir the Yamato just blew Up!
Wow this invasion went arseways real fast
Sir the British Battleship Warspite is heading straight for us!
What do you think they are doing?
I don't know sir, but this guy called Larry is on Warspites compass platform and he's shouting RAMMMING SPEEEED!!!
Huh, that's weird, I wonder what his intentions are..

Ten seconds later..
SMASH!!
IJN Shinano
Sir Warspites just rammed us! We're taking in water quickly!
I didn't expect them to ram us! Well at least we didn't explode!
And that was when Jim the junior Space Bat decided to intervene
He liked the big explosions, and wanted to see another one
Puff

HMS HOOD
Sir Shinano just exploded!
Jesus that was easy. The entire battle was 3 minutes long..
Man are enemies are dumb..
Yes Jim, yes they are(heroic music)
 
For a second there I read that as Audie Murphy.
It would be pretty funny to have a dedicated War hero tell Juile that her boyfriend is a massive twat..she like..
What? You cried all the way home? What the hell man? It was just a splinter!
Hi I'm Seth Mcfarlane. They wrote me in here because this movies plot is starting to fall apart, Wow what's your name, your beautiful, can you sing?
Of course!
Ok let's do our duet thing then
Ok
Jim:wait what about me!?
Julie:grow a pair and then I'll think about it. Bye!

Ha ha ha..when your muse stop poking and starts hitting you..with a spoon..this is what happens,
Lazy, lazy comedy
 
and the Oscar for best alt history mel brooks knock off goes to.......
Jimmy cries out in sudden terror as the sounds of Japanese zeros begin their steep decent on los Angeles.

on board the bridge of the Japanese battleship: Unleash Godzilla!

(fade to black)
 
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