WI: Michael Jordan is disemboweled with a katana

So I think I found basketball's equivalent of the Kaiser Wilhelm-Annie Oakley moment. For context, MJ (who had, just a few months before, hit a national championship-winning shot for UNC that had put him in the spotlight for the first time) was at a prison to help out with a ministry tour. Before the organizer began to preach, they had a dude with a katana go up on stage and do some stunts to "ratchet up the yard's emotion." That guy dragged Jordan up on stage as a somewhat unwilling volunteer, then attempted to cut a watermelon in half with the katana while the fruit lay on Jordan's stomach. It took two blows, and he cut too deep; the resulting injury required 3 stitches.

So what are the implications if the katana guy cuts a little deeper, and fatally disembowels the unfortunate Jordan? Obviously UNC probably has a rougher time the next couple years, and the Bulls dynasty and everything that came with that is gone. What happens to the NBA without his obviously enormously influential career? And what might be the broader cultural implications, both of his absence and the manner of his death?

Reddit thread where I found out about this, including picture of the event and a link to a Yahoo article that goes into more detail:
https://www.reddit.com/r/nba/comments/c4dezu/in_1982_michael_jordan_then_a_freshman_in_nc_was/
 
Last edited:
This is wrong, and I don't want to think about losing the greatest basketball player of all time. Jordan's abs should deflect the sword, and he's ok. The close call causes him to refocus his life to his art. He never retires, never plays minor league baseball. He stays with the Bulls and a 2 story tall bronze statue of him flying through the air is built in Chicago, and the Eisenhower Expressway is renamed the Michael Jordan Expressway.
 
This is wrong, and I don't want to think about losing the greatest basketball player of all time. Jordan's abs should deflect the sword, and he's ok. The close call causes him to refocus his life to his art. He never retires, never plays minor league baseball. He stays with the Bulls and a 2 story tall bronze statue of him flying through the air is built in Chicago, and the Eisenhower Expressway is renamed the Michael Jordan Expressway.

Very fair, I just found the sheer weirdness of the scenario fascinating
 
Top