So basically you want Khomeini not to be Khomeini.
Yes, but we do this all the time. For example, I wrote a thread in which I sketched out a scenario where Mo Udall is president from '76 to '84 with Carter as his vice-president. Udall wins re-election in '80 with difficulty, but then in '84 with the economy on the upswing, Carter rather easily wins both the nomination and the general election. And with eight more years of executive experience and watching Udall's successes and failures up close, Carter has a number of additional skills. He's still a visionary and an advanced thinker, but he has a much better feel for when this plays to strength and when it doesn't. Carter jokes with himself that he's only a fair to middling delegator, but that is plenty good enough. And he ends up as one of the more successful 20th century presidents. (alright, I haven't quite written all this, but it's one of my projects on the back burner. And in many ways OTL Reagan was also a dreamer and a visionary and an advanced thinker, yes he was, but for his time period and the issues he faced, it more played to strength.)
And so, the Ayatollah is more in the mainstream of Islamic thought. Certainly in the mainstream where Jews and Christians and Sikhs have lived peacefully in Muslim countries for centuries. I'm not so sure about Hindus because they're polytheists. Anyway, Ayatollah Khomeini even plays a Reagan-esque role as a sensible, reasonable conservative of reining in extremists. For example, Iranian theaters are going to stop showing racy films, that's a given. But he talks to some of his younger followers, there will be no violence against theater owners or employees. We're not going to blame individual people for what has become common practice. And while we're showing less total films which is probably the way it will be for a while, we might even politely try and find the owners and employees new jobs, but don't humiliate them. And I will trust your judgment on how to walk this line.
And in OTL, Iraq under Saddam Hussein attacked over some disputed territory when Iran was weak and that kicked off the very damaging eight year Iran-Iraq war. Well, in our new timeline, Khomeini doesn't let Iran get that weak. A eight year war where approximately a million and a half persons die? Maybe in some dystopian fiction of military history buffs, but not in this new 'OTL'/ATL.
And Khomeini knows and has observed first-hand that Western companies in oil and manufacturing have often promised to promote Iranians into senior positions as soon "as they are ready." He has seen this for several generations now. So, he takes a personal interest in this and very matter-of-factly pressures western companies to actually follow through. He also supports efforts to recruit and encourage older persons who already have some life experience to get college degrees where they can more readily and quickly step into managerial positions. And this requires scholarships and stipends for both the student and his or her family, and Khomeini is all in favor of this. And yes, he is in favor of women in the public sphere and contributing in most but not all professions, although with mainstream conservative views on modest dress which he believes contributes to women being treated with respect and accorded equality as citizens. And conservatives of all stripes often do have these kind of dual beliefs.