From what I remember growing up, Benin was the greater power in the area with the areas around and that would become Lagos being under its control. Also since this is after Europeans discovering the Americas the highly lauded walls have already been established around the city itself. With that in the city would be a number of 'professional' units (mostly the King's and Queen Mother's guard).
Correct, Oyo was more the inland power while Benin had control & influence over the coastal regions. Oyo's zenith kind of preceded the period when Europeans really started exploring the inland so the information that is better document is from the period of Oyo's decline.
Oyo had a some point attempted to conquer the Benin but their army was cavalry based not really best suited for fighting Benin. They did subjugate the Kingdom of Dahomey further west after being rebuffed by Benin even though Dahomey had firearms. I think it possible for Oyo to conquer Benin (I can also see the argument for vice-versa, I just think Oyo would have an easier time if they can adapt their cavalry & tactics to the region better). Such a union will be very interesting for the region, it might run something analogous to Qing dynasty & Han Chinese administration; we could see a fusion of administrative & military tactics. The languages have significant overlap to the extent there's some degree of intelligibility and there's something of a brothers/cousins rivalry between the peoples over who came first in their oral traditions.
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