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A Horse's Tale
  • Stallion of the Cimarron
    Post from Animation, Stories, and Us Net-log, by Rodrick Zarrel, September 29th, 2012

    A Guest Post by @Nerdman3000


    It’s fair to say that in the mid-90’s, Hollywood Animation was going through some rather difficult times. Despite doing very well at the box office with Retriever and Heart and Soul, both being successes and both even managing to beat Disney at the box office, it was undeniable to everyone at the animation studio that the departure of Don Bluth and the ousting of Michael Eisner and the looming threat of Jeffrey Katzenberg axing the studio had cast a shadow over everything. From 1994 to 1996, many of the animators and directors at Hollywood Animation were left to despair and wonder what their future held.

    In the case of the studio’s 1997 release, Spirit of the West, that uncertainty and despair would have a negative impact on the troubled early making of the film. No more was this apparent than with the scandalous actions of the infamous “Sabotage 35” (which I go into further detail in my post from last week on the scandal, which you can read here), whose actions only further worsened the dark cloud which had begun to hang over the studio.

    AAAABYWC5Rw0uneCHnW0pBO5JMl36zWP_-TuFLZ9D2NRftxjw1I5p884eHRcqM6qw3M2VDjEQivlnb5lfN_uRsorrvWbTZy2.jpg

    1997's Spirit of the West, which is an early version of our timeline’s Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron. (source: Pinterest)

    Yet even in the darkest clouds a light can eventually shine through and part the dark clouds. For Hollywood Animation, this light first began to trickle in with the merger between ABC and Universal, as despite some initial worries from the studio’s animators that their protector from Katzenberg, CEO Thomas Murphy, might lose his position in the merger shakeup, time would reveal that he would be keeping his position as CEO of the combined company. This gave the animators some hope of top cover even as Katzenberg replaces departing Universal Studios President and CEO Sidney Sheinberg. Furthermore, the protection provided by Murphy would be even stronger, due to the departing Sheinberg, who loved animation and believed in the potential of Hollywood Animation, which he saw as being capable of growing into a successful cornerstone for Universe, successfully managing to convince Murphy around towards this belief and way of thinking.

    That potential belief would be rewarded seemingly when Heart and Soul released in late 1996 to massive critical and financial success, while also becoming the studio’s second animation film in a row to beat Disney at the box office. It’s fair to say that there couldn’t have been any better news for Hollywood Animation, as the threat of Jeffrey Katzenberg axing the studio had been seemingly silenced in the wake of the success of Heart and Soul. With the film making $346 million worldwide at the box office and giving the studio millions more in merchandising, it was undeniable that the best-case scenario and expectations for the animators working at Hollywood Animation had not only happened, but had been exceeded.

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    Sidney Sheinberg, former President and CEO of Universal, with friend Steven Spielberg, whom he helped to discover. Sheinberg notably had a lot of faith in the potential of Hollywood Animation, especially as he believed that Universal was lagging behind in the animation game. He would manage to convince incoming Universal CEO Thomas Murphy of the potential of animation for the studio's future. (source: The New York Times)

    Though there had been an initial brief panic in-between Heart and Soul’s first weekend at the box office and its massive surge in its second weekend, once it became clear that the film was a hit and their futures were now safe, morale at the animation studio quickly and vastly improved. Nowhere was this clearer than with the artists working on Spirit of the West, which, according to one artist working on the film, saw its best work put forward in the ten months between the November 1996 release of Heart and Soul and the September 1997 release of Spirit of the West.

    In the case of Jeffery Katzenberg though, it was clear he would be finally forced to give in and acknowledge that he couldn’t just get rid of the animation studio. Simply put, Retriever’s previous success had not been a fluke, and the animation studio was seemingly very much profitable, a fact which Murphy made very clear to Katzenberg. To Murphy, it was time for Katzenberg to end his grudge, and he would go as far as to openly say this as he voiced his approval of Heart and Soul’s success, while also openly expressing his confidence that the studio would continue to be prosper under Katzenberg.

    Katzenberg, of course, understood the subtle message Murphy had given him: Katzenberg’s future potential ambitious rise would be now tied to the continued success of Hollywood Animation. Had he tried to continue to sabotage the animation studio, he would be going down with them.

    With the hint given to him in mind, Katzenberg began to finally play ball and fully commit to working with Marjore Cohn as the studio’s full attention turned to Spirit of the West. The previously aloof Katzenberg now suddenly began to demand bi-weekly meetings with Cohn on the status of the studio’s upcoming film state (where he displayed a particular obsessive interest in the progress of the upcoming Spirit of the West), as well as go on a hiring spree and form a third animation team, as well as green light four new animation projects for the future in late December 1996.

    These projects would all be a continuation of Katzenberg’s dualling film release strategy for which Katzenberg had decided to double down on, with City of Gold (based on an idea suggested by new Animation VP David Stainton, another ex-Disney animator who had joined Universal) to release in late 1999 against Disney’s upcoming City of the Sun, while 2000 would see the release of both Atlantis: The Lost Empire, intended to go up against Disney’s rumored 2000 release Journey to the Center of the Earth, and John Carter and the Princess of Mars, which, owing to the fact that both were created by Edgar Rice Burroughs, would go up against Columbia’s upcoming Tarzan film. The final of the four newly greenlit Katzenberg films would be The Canterbury Tales, which owing to its connection to the Chanticleer tale, would release in 2001 against Eisner/Bluth and Columbia’s upcoming Ruler of the Roost.

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    The new logo for Universal Animation Studios (Image by @Nerdman3000).

    Finally, Katzenberg in late December 1996 would also move ahead with doing something he had reportedly wanted to do for years, but hadn’t yet done since he hadn’t been sure if he was going to axe the studio, that being to completely rename Hollywood Animation/DiC itself. Now, while the studio had initially adopted the Universal-Hollywood Animation Studios name following the merger, Katzenberg wanted to go one step further and completely remove the Hollywood part of the name entirely, making it just Universal Animation Studios, also completely removing any and all trace (and forbidding all mention) of the DiC acronym. If you believe rumors, the reason for this change is due to a combination of a desire to purge the last trace of Michael Eisner from the studio and due to the fact that Katzenberg had long since become paranoid and suspected that the continued use of the old DiC acronym was something that had been specifically chosen by Eisner as a dig and insult against him (“The DiC Head”), and so he wanted a completely new fresh name for the studio that would let go of its past[1].

    Yet to those who dug a little deeper, it became clear that the reasons for Katzenberg’s newfound attitude toward the animation studio and willingness to work with Cohn and the animators was not simply rooted in simple greed, acceptance that he had lost, or ambition, though those factors certainly played a role. Especially the newfound factor that Katzenberg’s continued rise was now more closely tied to UAS. But if one dug deeper, it became clear, especially to those who knew him, that Katzenberg’s newfound attitude, especially in regards to the progress of Spirit of the West, was especially rooted in one primal thing: fear of the possibility of Michael Eisner getting the last laugh over him.

    The film, simply put, was Katzenberg’s baby, and with the massive success of Heart and Soul, Katzenberg was now faced with the prospect that the film Eisner had green lit over Katzenberg’s “little horse film” would end up being the more successful of the two, a thought which no doubt plagued Katzenberg’s dreams.

    Now did those fears become reality? Well, I’ll get to that in a minute, but I've talked enough backstory, so let's actually move ahead and actually talk about the film itself.

    From a story perspective, the film is not too complicated. In rather simple terms, it is the story set in the backdrop of the 19th century American West of the friendship between a Lakota Native American named Little Creek, voiced by half-Lakota actor Zahn Tokiya-ku McClarnon, and a Kiger Mustang colt horse named Spirit, voiced by the younger Phoenix brother Joaquin, in what would be one of his first major voice acting roles[2].

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    Zahn Tokiya-ku McClarnon and Joaquin Phoenix, who star alongside Michael Rooker and Christina Hendricks. (Source: Pinterest. Combined into one image by @Nerdman3000)

    During the course of the film, we follow Spirit, a horse who has been born wild and free, but finds himself captured by a US Calvary division lead by the villainous Colonel Esra Michaels, who is voiced by Michael Rooker[3]. The arrogant and sadistic Michaels becomes determined to tame Spirit, but fails. When Spirit manages to escape captivity along with a similarly imprisoned Little Creek, the two find themselves on the run from a perusing Colonel Michaels and his Calvary. Along their journey, the two form a strong bond and friendship even as Spirit himself finds love with Little Creek's mare, Rain, voiced by Christina Hendricks[4].

    Like I said, story-wise, the film is not too complicated, though if you’re looking for a straight 1 to 1 adaptation of the novel, you’re not entirely going to get that[5]. If you’re unaware or have never read the original novel by John Fusco, the film technically has a different villain from the book.

    See, while the antagonist of both the film and the novel is a US Calvary officer, in the novel he is simply referred to as the Colonel, and he is clearly intended to in fact be George Armstrong Custer, in both looks and in terms of personality. The film however, due to Katzenberg reportedly wanting to use the opportunity to attack Michael Eisner, instead sort of splits the Colonel character between Colonel Michaels and his lieutenant, the Calvary Sargent. Colonel Michaels, who largely replaces the Colonel from the book as the film’s villain, is meant to clearly be a sort of dig at Eisner, not only in looks but in personality: a vainglorious man who surrounds himself with yes-men and toadies. His lieutenant meanwhile, though having a smaller role, is instead the one who resembles Custer and is the one who comes to respect Spirit and Little Creeks bravery and choses to let them go (in the novel it is the Colonel who survives and does so)[6].

    Now personally I don’t mind the change at all, partially because I honestly love Colonel Michaels and think he’s actually a pretty fantastic villain, but as you can probably imagine, a number of fans of the novel weren’t so happy with it. I personally think they’re whining over nothing, but what can you do?

    Anyways, the film’s story is not really where its real strength lies in my person opinion. No, if you had to ask me, where the film really shines is in its story, but in its memorable subtle humor which was largely attributed to its new directors Bibo Bergeron and Tim Johnson (seriously, there are so many great jokes scattered throughout that I completely missed as a kid that got me laughing my ass off when I went back to watch the film for this post)[7], fantastic musical score by Hans Zimmer, great songs by Garth Brooks and Phil Collins[8], as well as its rather cinematic and gorgeous artwork. On that last point, I can honestly say that for a film that basically had to mostly be redone a whole year into production, it is quite undeniable that the film is quite beautiful and visually impressive (the final escape scene and the train crash sequences are notably worthy of praise). Much of that quality can likely be attributed to not only to Katzenberg's frequent input toward the artists working on the film and the huge burst of moral the artists were feeling when making the film, but whatever the reasons for how it happened, it's undeniable that it is some fantastic work worthy of praise.

    Overall, the film's story, score, music, visuals, and even excellent subtle humor all no doubt playing a role in helping the film do so well among critics when it released in late 1997. In fact, perhaps to Katzenberg’s delight and appreciation, the film would even do slightly better from a critical standpoint than Heart and Soul did a year prior. Yet for all it’s critical success and critical win over Heart and Soul, its box office returns would be a much different story.

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    Spirt, Rain, and Little Creek, the main characters of the film Spirit of the West. (Source: cornel1801.com)

    Though financially successful, the film would make far, far less than Heart and Soul did a year prior, ultimately making only $187 million at the box office, nowhere even close to the massive $346 million box office that Heart and Soul had obtained. Perhaps worse, the film would see the end of the winning streak the studio had been having over Disney, as unlike Retriever and Heart and Soul, Spirit of the West failed to beat Disney at the box office when Disney’s Kindred Spirits ended up making more than a $100 million more than Spirit of the West did. Though it seems clear that Katzenberg hoped that the similarity in names might lead to customer confusion that would mostly benefit his feature over Disney’s, it was clear his gambit failed, leading instead to an embarrassing loss for Katzenberg.

    Though the film did have some home video success and even managed to spawn a few straight-to-video sequels and go on to become a favorite for a generation of horse-obsessed girls, it would nonetheless lose to Disney the following year at the Oscars for Best Animated Feature. The Oscar loss, when combined with the failure to beat Eisner's final contribution, seemed to cement to Katzenberg the fact that while the film had made money and been critically well received, it was not a giant hit or the runaway success he had been desperately hoping for. In truth, to Jeffery Katzenberg, there can be no doubt that he ultimately considered the film a defeat and a embarrassing humiliation. While the knowledge that Spirit of the West went on to be the more critically well received of the two certainly might have smoothed some of the bitter feels that Katzenberg was no doubt feeling, the massive failure of the film to beat Heart and Soul financially or in popularity was one which no doubt greatly stung and haunted Katzenberg. To him, it suggested that Eisner might have in fact have been right to favor Heart and Soul over Katzenberg’s own “little horse film”, something which Eisner was rumored to have even mocked Katzenberg over[9].

    Certainly, it cannot be denied that after the failure of the film to beat Heart and Soul at the box office, that Katzenberg’s attention toward Universal Animation significantly lessened. Though he did not go as far as he did before the release of Heart and Soul when he at times outright seemed to try to pretend the studio didn’t exist, Katzenberg no longer demanded bi-weekly meetings from Cohn, seemingly content to do monthly or even bi-monthly meetings with her on the studio’s status, and signing off whatever Cohn presented before him. It seemed clear to many at the animation studio that Katzenberg had decided to simply wash his hands of the studio and let Cohn and the animators at Universal Animation do whatever the hell they wanted as long as they didn’t screw up in a way that could negatively impact his current ambitions. He wouldn't ignore them or try to sabotage them as he did before the release of Heart and Soul, and would even contribute to its future every now and then, but for right now, as far as Jeffrey Katzenberg was concerned, Universal Animation was to be considered lowest of his list in terms of priority for his attention.

    The irony of this is that in a way, Katzenberg's newfound indifference to Universal Animation have gifted them a rather large amount of newfound independence. For Cohn and the animators, they now suddenly found themselves having more complete creative control than any other animation studio in the world at the time. This of course led to the question of what effect would that newfound independence have as the studio’s eyes turned to their next animated film, East of the Sun and West of the Moon.



    [1] Sorry, while I did consider calling it Universal Dreamworks, as humorous as it would have been, it would probably have been too forced.

    [2] In our timeline, Joaquin Phoenix's only major voice role was as Kenai in Disney's 2003 film Brother Bear. In this timeline, with his older brother alive and therefore him at this point being overshadowed, Joaquin ends up finding himself getting a fair number of voice acting jobs and getting quite experienced at it. While he primarily still sticks to live action work, you'll probably be seeing him show up in the future as a voice actor.

    [3] Basically picture a more serious, taller, and non-comedic Lord Farquaad, but as a 19th century US Calvary officer. Or well, Michael Eisner as a 19th Century US Calvary officer, because other than the fact they are both meant as a dig against Eisner, Colonel Michaels and Lord Farquaad are nothing alike.

    [4] Unlike our timeline’s film, the horses actually do talk, though only to each other, as human characters can’t understand them. So while Spirit still narrates, he now also has actual dialogue with Rain.

    [5] Story-wise, the movie is mostly identical to our timeline’s movie and the novel with the only major story changes being the previously mentioned change to the personality and appearance of Colonel Michaels (who is simply known as The Colonel in the novel/our timeline’s film and is rather pointily described and implied to be George Armstrong Custer), the horses actually talking (mainly to each other as the humans can’t understand them though), and the decision to change the ending of the film.

    [6] Rather than Colonel Michaels humbly accepting defeat after he is amazed by Spirit’s bold jump across the gorge, in this timeline’s film, he actually tries to leap across the gorge after Spirit and Little Creek, but fails to make the landing and falls to his death. It is the Calvary Sergeant serving under Colonel Michaels who instead accepts defeat and leaves Spirit/Little Creek be.

    [7] Compared to the serious tone found in the original novel, our timeline’s film, and the early reels of this timeline’s film before the Sabotage 35 situation occurred, which forced the animators to go back to the drawing board, the final film ends up having a lot of subtle humor added into it. Think a sort of toned-down version of the hidden and subtle humor from our timeline’s Shrek, minus all the pop culture references. While not as rampant as in Shrek, there end up being a number of that jokes thrown in older audience members find themselves frequently chuckling to even as they go right over their kids’ heads.

    [8] In our timeline’s film, Garth Brooks was originally at one point supposed to write and make songs for the film, but the deal fell through. For this timeline’s film, not only are Universal Animation able to hire him, but they also are able to get Phil Collins.

    [9] A humorous rumor exists in this timeline that after the release of Spirit of the West and its failure to beat Heart and Soul or even Disney’s competing film at the box office, that Eisner randomly called up Katzenberg one afternoon, where he proceeded to only say three words to Katzenberg before abruptly hanging up, words which caused Katzenberg to reportedly have the mother of all tantrum and rants. Those three words, if the rumor is true, were, “Told you so.”

    Katzenberg has never confirmed it, though Eisner would be known to simply smirk and say “No comment” whenever he is asked about it.
     
    Laissez les Bons Temps Rouler
  • Chapter 18: Kindred Spirits all Along
    From the Riding with the Mouse Net-log by animator Terrell Little


    My wife Suzanne and I come from different worlds. I’m a country boy from Lower Alabama. She’s an LA woman through and through. I’m imaginative and cynical. She’s fun loving and loves to dance. And every day I’m inevitably feeling like I’m torn between the woman that I love and the world of life and color that she and my kids represent and the job that I love, hidden away in the dark offices and sound stages to which it always takes me.

    So, is Kindred Spirits a wee bit autobiographical? What do you think?

    And yea, it took some Understanding between my family and me to make that movie happen. With the modest success of Anansi Boys, I suddenly found another opportunity to direct a feature animated film, this time directing the “big” winter piece. The catch? I had to move to Florida.

    Now, I was alright with that. Kissimmee ain’t that far from Sweet Home Alabama where my family still lives, but it was still far enough away that I didn’t have to be swamped in the family drama. My wife and kids (my son Antoine was about to turn three) were less happy, since Mo had friends and my wife had her own social circle and any change was scary for Antoine. And to be honest, Central Florida doesn’t exactly hold the cosmopolitan charm and mystique of Hollywood. Even by Florida standards it’s pretty wack. Still, it was a hard offer to turn down, particularly since it came with a promotion and pay raise and a nice house on Lake Buena Vista as a perk.

    And to be honest, just not getting hassled by the cops every time I walked down the street in Anaheim would be a plus, even as I knew not to drive through certain counties in Florida, particularly with Suzanne beside me.

    Well, I talked them into it, at least for a while, and we were there in early 1996 ready to launch a new animated feature with the Disney Animation East group, who up until this point had been mostly doing TV stuff. In fact, I’d worked closely with them on TaleSpin, where they did a lot of the inbetweener work and had already been spinning up a team there to manage the animation for Boudreaux’s Kitchen, which was finally seeing airplay as a TV series on Toon Town after over a decade since that first Short. With me already spending much of my time setting up the teams there, making the move made intuitive sense from a production standpoint, even if it was hard on the family.

    And it all started when I put my proverbial ring on a skeletal hand, specifically the one on the Skeleton Crew Productions logo. As I mentioned last time, I’d worked with them, Henry Selick in particular, to make Anansi Boys happen. And it was the success of that feature that got me the gig directing Kindred Spirits alongside Rick Heinrichs with Tim Burton as executive producer. Rick would be there to keep things square and I’d take lead, particularly artistically.

    But I’m getting ahead of myself. It all began back when I was in post-production on Anansi Boys, sitting around the breakroom table in the restored Victorian Manor that was the Skeleton Crew HQ, one of the last of the old Victorian LA manors of the type that had once intrigued a young Charles Addams.

    Scratch that…it really all began back on the production of A Nightmare Before Christmas when Joe Ranft told Tim Burton about an old Russian-Jewish legend called “The Finger” about a man practicing his vows and putting his wedding ring on what he thinks is an old root, but is in fact the finger of a dead woman who now tells the man that they are married. Spooky stuff and right up Tim’s alley[1].

    But the truly scary and horrifying thing is the true story behind it. Back in the 19th Century, Antisemitism was rife in Eastern Europe and roving gangs would attack Jewish bridal processions, murder the bride-to-be in an attempt to prevent the “next generation” of Jews, and bury the corpse, still in her wedding dress, in a shallow grave in the woods. Presumably erosion would reveal ghastly scenes on occasion, perhaps a reaching, decomposing hand.

    Tim had been kicking the idea around for a long time, possibly with a Victorian English setting, but he had so many irons in the fire. And that brings us to Anansi Boys and where I come in. Tim flat out offered me a job with the Skeleton Crew after Anansi Boys, but I really wanted to stay with Feature Animation. I told him that I wanted to do an animated feature, perhaps the first Black Princess for Disney…and no, the damned Lion doesn’t count. Mo had grown up with Disney Princesses, but none of them looked like her. Jasmine was the closest I guess, and that’s all good, but the last thing that Mo needed was another spoiled, materialistic Diva to emulate!

    Tim casually mentioned “The Finger”. Jorgen Klubien in 3D had also been kicking around ideas for a New Orleans Ghost Story that, Tim told me, I was being considered to direct. Tim, Neil, and I came to realize that “The Finger” idea was perfect, simply reframed for New Orleans rather than Victorian England, Vodou Mamans instead of Rabbis, and Klansmen instead of roving Russian lynch mobs. It would be a tale of love, magic, ghosts, and justice.

    Kindred Spirits was born.

    Or as Tim put it, “We gave Terrell ‘The Finger’ and told him to go to Florida.”

    220px-Corpse_Bride_film_poster.jpg
    +
    220px-The_Princess_and_the_Frog_poster.jpg
    with a soupcon of
    220px-Beauty_and_the_Beast_%281991_film%29_poster.jpg

    = Kindred Spirits!

    Neil Gaiman and I worked on the story and screenplay, and Henry joined us on the storyboards, as did 3D’s Jorgen Klubien, who had some fuzzy ideas in his head involving a New Orleans Ghost Story[2]. While still fuzzy, he had a good eye for the feel of N’awlins and became a principal concept artist and animator and compositing lead.

    The ultimate story would involve a young man hoping to propose to a young woman sometime amid the Jazz Age in New Orleans (our soundtrack was going to wail!). He’d get nervous, head out into the swamps off of Congo Square, and practice his vows with a convenient “root” that is actually a desiccated hand, and suddenly he’s engaged to a dead woman!

    Tim had this envisioned as another of his creepy stop-mo things, but I insisted on pushing for the Animated Canon. We’d do things hybrid: hand-sketched and digitally inked & painted with some CG objects and backgrounds and effects. It would be Tim’s first Animated Canon feature since Mort, but now done as a “collaboration” with the Skeleton Crew. That, of course, got me working with Skeleton Crew animator Kathy Zielinski, who became my co-director. We hit it off immediately; professionally, mind you, but it still led Suzanne to raise an eyebrow after some late-night animation sessions.

    The color pallet would be one of contrasts. Tim might have made the Living World the dark and morose place and the Land of the Dead the colorful one, but I intended to show N’awlins in all of its bright and garish glory in bright reds, yellows, purples, greens, and oranges with the occasional darkness and coldness while the Underworld would be a cold blue and grey pallet with occasional splashes of color. Sort of that Yin and Yang like Andreas was doing over on his Chinese feature.

    Spirit%20of%20New%20Orleans.jpg

    Early Concept Art by Jorgen Klubien featuring a Br’er Rabbit cameo (actually from our timeline’s “The Spirit of New Orleans: A Pixar Ghost Story”, Image source Jorgenklubien.com)

    We’d mostly be set in Jazz Age New Orleans, the realm of Satchmo and Basin Street, or at least it’s PG cousin. Vodou would feature heavily, but be done right. No “voodoo doll” bullshit. Our hero would wear a Gris Gris along with his cross. Maman LeBeaux would be a forthright if eccentric helper. Even The Baron would be his usual boisterous self rather than a flat villain.

    But the real star would be Vieux Carré, New Orleans itself. The streets, the food, the music, the culture, the fun, and the filth…all of its Funky Eminence by all definitions of the word “funky”. I took all of the main animators there for a week and we drank Sazerac cocktails, listened to jazz, and immersed ourselves in the sights, sounds, and smells (fresh, fair, and foul) of the Big Easy. I took them to see real Vodou ceremonies and talk to real Vodou Mamans and Papas. We hooked in Winton Marsalis to do the music and we’d more or less follow the Formula, but with a kick.

    Laissez les bons temps rouler.

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    Concept Art (Image source Nora Silvia at Pinterest)

    The plot that we came up with was simple. Self-raised orphan Achilles Bonaventure (Will Smith) is an up-and-coming Jazz musician making his way on the streets of NOLA, whom we introduce playing with his Crewe (“Spirit’s Gonna’ Get You”). He has been courting the beautiful and vivacious Céline Honoré (Cindy Herron), the daughter of a famous Creole restaurateur and coffee shop owner, to whom he is totally smitten. His bandmates encourage him to “put a ring on that hand, before you lose it!”, but he’s hesitant (“Hey, brother, I’m a hard man to tie down!”), as the symbolic ghost of his assumed rejection by his parents (whom he never met) haunts him and makes him subconsciously terrified of rejection and afraid to commit to anything or anyone, which is hurting both his relationships and his career (we see him hesitate to sign a record deal for fear of losing his “freedom”).

    So urged by his friends and bandmates (Jazzy Jeff, Winton Marsalis, and all) he dances across the city with his loyal street mutt Gerónimo (Frank Welker, of course) singing “The Streets will Sing” with what was his mother’s ring to finally propose to Céline (“An angel like her don’t come along every day, now do they, Gerónimo?”).

    Originally, we had Achilles as a rather shy and passive character, but needless to say once you get Will Smith on board, he became more active and a bit of a suave and slippery player always just a bit on the hustle, even as his inner lack of confidence sabotages him. His ad libs took over more than one scene, and we had to keep him from slipping into anachronistic slang, so that meant having Winton teach him how to talk “N’awlins back in the day”.

    Meanwhile across town, Céline is singing her own more overwhelmed minor-key lyrics to “The Streets will Sing” as she struggles to manage a downtown restaurant in the face of an angry lunch crowd and taunting by rival chef Francois D’Aigre (Rene Auberjonois), who clearly disapproves of her running a restaurant and thinks little of her Creole cooking compared to his “superior” traditional French cuisine. Céline is an uptight woman haunted by the figurative ghost of her mother, Regina Honoré, who was a proud woman and honorary “New Orleans Queen” who claimed descendance from French Royalty. Céline’s living maternal figure, her head chef Maman LeBeaux (Eartha Kitt at her hammy best), doesn’t exactly approve of this directionless and shifty ne’er do well Achilles with his “loud modern music”. She thinks that he’s after Céline’s money. Using her gumbo as a metaphor, she warns Céline that “the wrong ingredient at the wrong time, or the produce picked too soon or too late, will spoil the meal, my dear!” She’s also shown to be actually talking to the literal ghost of Regina (Phylicia Rashad), assuring her that she’ll “make sure the girl makes the right decisions”.

    We kept the animation very fluid and dynamic throughout, but particularly here in the activity of the daylight streets. We used some pan-and-track technology to allow for “camera tricks” to give everything that dynamic “Spielberg” feel of long oners and subjective camera work, plus a bit of Scorsese light and framing. Henry and I studied the camera work of Spielberg and others precisely for that reason and made heavy use of the new Virtual Camera tech that the Softworks had come up with, which we repurposed for DATA-drawn 2D.

    But I digress. Céline is also being courted by a rich and arrogant man named Jean Font le Roy (John Goodman), a debonaire man of Old Wealth (with a memorable blue stone on the end of his cane with a golden filigreed cross embedded in it) who flatters her at every turn. Font le Roy is a vain and pompous man attended by an effete sycophantic and smarmy manservant named LeFou (John Waters), and he approaches Céline just as she’s finally relaxing after the lunch rush. Font le Roy sings a proposal-ish song that’s as much about finance as love (“Mind our Manors”), but Céline acts aloof.

    So Céline slips away from Font le Roy, and meets up with Achilles in Congo Square, whom she’s obviously happy to see. They share a moment, with Achilles obviously struggling and slipping on his words in a charmingly vulnerable way, but his attempts to set up a proposal keep faltering, in part because he can’t get himself to just say what he means as he keeps trying to act suave and slick. Finally, Céline is fed up with his bumbling and a few misinterpreted words and gestures and heads back to the kitchen “to prepare for dinner”.

    And as Achilles, after getting “the icy mitt”, is getting ready to slip away, first he’s confronted by Font le Roy, LeFou by his side. Font le Roy’s cane is revealed to be a sword-cane as the blade is placed by his throat. “Your kind need stay where they belong, boy,” he says, threateningly.

    “Hey, now, easy on the threads, pops!”

    “And that means away from Miss Céline. My boy LeFou here is goin’ to be keeping a real close eye on you, mind.”

    Then, just as Achilles is slipping away from Font le Roy, Maman LeBeaux confronts him in a jump-scare. “There is a ghost haunting you!” she says. “No haunted man can earn the hand of fair Céline!! Get your affairs straight, child, or be gone from this threshold!”

    As Achilles hastily slips away through the crowd trying to maintain his composure, the ghost of Regina then appears to tell Maman LeBeaux “I don’t want that aimless drifter anywhere near my daughter! She needs to marry Font le Roy. He has the name and the wealth to keep the restaurant going and to keep our legacy alive.”

    “That would be the practical choice, yes,” says Maman Lebeaux with just a hint of irony. “And you certainly raised a practical daughter.”

    Eartha Kitt was just amazing here. Spooky, aggressive, loud, in your face. We even played with some villainy tropes with her, just to keep that mystery and menace about her. Was she a friend or a foe? Keep watching, folks!

    41545-harsh-opinionated-and-unfair-review-walt-disney-s-princess-and-frog.jpg

    Céline sings to the stars (Image source Animation World Network)

    And the truth is that their suspicions of Achilles are well-founded, because he is a bit directionless, living always in the moment, but really in need of focus. Fleeing from Maman LeBeaux with Gerónimo, making his opinions known, Achilles flees across Congo Square and into the swamps. Céline, meanwhile, retreats to her room and balcony. She and Achilles now duet, separated, as she sings from her balcony and he sings from the swamps (“Underneath the Stars”). Both lament the complexities of their lives and how that pulls them apart.

    And as the song ends, Achilles, nervous and practicing his proposals (“I gotta’ do this one right, Gerónimo!”), comes across the “root”. He practices again, slipping the ring onto the “root” and inadvertently awakens the long-dead Marie LaVieux (Maxine Jones), who now announces herself as his bride-to-be. Achilles, terrified, holds out the crucifix around his neck (“step back, dead gal!”), but she simply grabs it and says, sadly, “oh, how beautiful! I had one a lot like it once.”

    Now Achilles is pulled down into the Underworld, or “Downstairs”, a dark, blue, and jazzy place of corpses and cadavers and Dutch Angles He’s nervous, but trying to maintain his composure and charm (“Hey, lookin’ great, gal, I like what you did with what’s left of your hair! Dang, talk about a…yah! Hey! Nice, um, chest hole!”) as Marie introduces him to everyone, in particular The Baron (Willard White), who is the ruler of this place. Achilles is welcomed by the cadaverous inhabitants in song (“Raise your Spirits”) with various Disney and Muppets alumni, including Wayne Brady, providing supporting voicework. Achilles is even reunited with his childhood dog Napoleon, now a skeleton, whom he introduces to Gerónimo with the obligatory butt-sniffing scene.

    ElhzG80XgAUx6QY.jpg

    The Downstairs (Image source PBS)

    For the Downstairs, we did our best to make the whole thing feel less like a crypt than a Basement Blues Club. Dark, smokey, intimate, and lively. A land of life in death, even as the humor was pretty gallows by nature. Achilles slowly realizes that he can actually kind of dig it there.

    But this still is a land tinged with sorrow. And Achilles soon learns the hard truth behind Marie’s death, played out in shadows on the wall behind her as she speaks: the year was 1820, not long after Louisiana was absorbed into the US. “Back then we the Louisiana Creoles were wealthy and influential,” she said. “We were free. We owned businesses. We owned land. But not everyone in our new country liked that. In my carriage, in my wedding gown, on the way to my marriage, an angry crowd gathered. I was dragged away, my dowry plundered, my life taken from me, and my body buried in the bayous. But now,” she adds, with a gleam in her dead eyes, “I have you.”

    As Marie heads off with her bridesmaids to prepare for the ceremony, Achilles is torn. His heart aches for Marie’s suffering. But while the dead celebrate the impending nuptials, Achilles honestly just wants back “Upstairs” (“Miss Marie is nice and all, Gerónimo, but my life and my love is up there, you dig?” He sees Gerónimo has a bone, “borrowed” from a hopping skeleton. “Yeah, of course you dig, you’re a dog!”).

    He is also approached by one of the bridesmaids-to-be, a once-beautiful-when-alive young woman whom we’d seen paying a lot of attention to the ring earlier. She tries to talk to him (“I’ve been waiting for you for so long!”) but he assumes that she is hitting on him (“Yea, alright, no offense, doll, but one dead girlfriend is enough, thank you!”).

    So, thoroughly creeped out, despite his sympathy for Marie, he wants Upstairs and so he tricks Marie by claiming that he wants to introduce her to his family, which we know that he has never met. So Marie takes him before a suspicious Baron, who seems to know more than he lets on, and grants them passage back Upstairs. But before they leave, The Baron warns Achilles that “a silver thread” connects him and Marie, tying both to either the Upstairs or the Downstairs, and should he betray his vows to her or “break the thread”, “the results will not be pretty”. The Baron then points to the empty husks of the Zombies, bodies left “without an angel within”.

    Back Upstairs, Achilles, a veil-covered Marie holding his hand despite his nerves, walks in the fog-shrouded night to Congo Square, then tells her that she can’t walk the streets “half dead”, but that if she waits here, he’ll bring back his parents to meet her. As he holds her hands, though, LeFou sees them and takes a picture with his camera. “Caught in the act!” says LeFou, and runs off into a foggy alley.

    Achilles now heads to find Céline and profess his love, hoping that he can marry her quickly to get out of the impending marriage with Marie. But as he approaches her townhouse, he is accosted by Maman LeBeaux. She waves her hands over him with some sparkly magic, making the silver thread appear briefly. “Cursed! Hexed! A silver thread holds you to the lands below!” she says, accusingly. She then adds in a softer voice, “This won’t do at all!” She gives him a Gris Gris charm to protect him and grabs him and drags him into her basement, where a group of Vodou practitioners are dancing and singing (“The Big Crossroads”). Achilles and Maman LeBeaux join them in the expository song, where he exposits what happened to her. “Ahhh…” she says after performing a series of arcane (but authentic) rituals, “You are bound by the Baron. I can sever the silver thread, but the fair Marie will be torn from her angel within. I cannot conscionably do so.” She hands him a pair of old scissors. “Use this to cut the thread if you must,” she warns, “But let it be known that Marie’s fate is in your hands.”

    He grabs the scissors, tempted to cut the line, but he can’t, knowing the fate he’d leave her to. “I brought her into this mess,” he says. “I owe her a better way out.” He puts down the scissors.

    “Ah, a good man after all,” says Maman LeBeaux. “Then Marie will need to willingly give back the ring. Only then will the thread be broken without consequence!”

    Making big promises to “find a way to do them all right” Achilles goes to Céline, confesses his love and his plans to propose earlier that day “like I shoulda’ done right from the start”, and tells her that there is “a slight complication” and asks if she’ll come with him to “straighten this all out”. But as he professes his love to her and is about to kiss her to seal his love, the silver thread stops him. Then he looks over to see a betrayed heartbroken Marie, face shrouded by the wedding veil, who has followed him seen the whole thing. She runs off. He tries to tell Céline that he’ll be right back as he runs off her (“Marie, wait!”).

    Font le Roy then slinks out of the fog, mentioning how “typical” it is for a “musician” to be two-timing and hands her the photo that LeFou took. He tells her that she deserves “an honest man” like him. A tear in her eye, recalling her death bed promise to her mother to keep her legacy alive, she agrees to his proposal. The ghost of Regina, watching, smiles approvingly.

    “Then why waste time?” he says. “Let’s head to St. Louis Cathedral right now!”

    Meanwhile, Marie, now irate at Achilles’s “betrayal”, demands that he go back Downstairs with her and complete the wedding. When he refuses, she says, “Then we will be wed right here!” and calls forth The Baron, who soon appears in a purple cyclone with all of the legion dead, who march towards a terrified Achilles.

    Meanwhile, as Céline changes into a fancy gown, Maman LeBeaux is trying to talk her out of the hastily-considered marriage, even as the ghost of Regina, whom Céline can’t see or hear (“Who are you talking to, Maman LeBeaux?”), is yelling at her not to interfere. Storming off to St. Louis Cathedral and ignoring Maman LeBeaux, who is in turn ignoring Regina, Céline is met by Font le Roy, who complements her in a rather smarmy way. LeBeaux gives up and runs to find Achilles.

    e5acb6dee391d67d59bc9e99e9a26770.jpg

    The Baron (Image source Fanpop at Pinterest)

    Achilles, meanwhile, confronted by the Baron and the various angry dead and thoroughly terrified even as he tries to hide this fact, finally builds up the nerve to tell Marie the whole truth. How the proposal was an accident. How he loves Céline. She starts to cry, and realizes that she can’t ask him to give up his life and love. But The Baron is adamant. “A sacred promise was made.”

    “Oh, stick the promise, you old bag of bones!” says Maman LeBeaux, arriving on the scene. She confronts The Baron, whom she has clearly known for a long time, and convinces them all that “a good woman is about to wed a bad man,” and thus they all march and dance like a Jazz Funeral across the streets to the Cathedral to stop the wedding, The Baron leading the song “We’re Marchin’ In”.

    And we did have fun animating that section, with all the ironic mix of dirge and revelry, second-line joie de vivre with first-line morbidity.

    Naturally just as Font le Roy and Céline are about to exchange vows (Jim Cummings as the short, droning priest), the doors swing open and in walks Achilles, demanding to stop the marriage. Everyone in the pews shriek as the dead walk in behind him. The priest sighs and strides confidently up to The Baron, as if about to confront him. “Baron! Baron! Hey Baron, how’s life on the other side?”

    “Can’t complain. Loved that eulogy for Old Lady Angeline last Saturday. She appreciates your kindness.”

    Suddenly, an old woman in the third row looks at an old corpse. “Henri?”

    “My dear Annette!”

    “Father?”

    “Aunt Agnes?”

    Etc.

    The “zombie invasion” soon becomes a reunion of lost loved ones.

    Even Céline now sees and recognizes the ghost of her mother Regina.

    Achilles, meanwhile, professes his love and proposes to Céline on the spot. “I can’t offer much but love, but that love is real, and eternal!”

    And Marie backs him up, telling the whole story. “It is you he wished to wed. And this belongs to you,” she says, removing the ring and placing in Céline’s hand. Achilles takes the ring and slips it on her finger and the silver line detaches from Marie and joins Achilles with Céline, before vanishing.

    But Font le Roy bellows, “No! She’s my bride! And I love her dearly! And…” he’s interrupted as Maman LeBeaux blows powder in his face. “And I…I will have her wealth…I…err...mean I will have her money…” He shrieks, “What is happening?”

    Ad Regina gasps in shock and anger, Maman Lebeaux holds up a small pouch and smiles. “Truth dust.”

    “Ok,” adds LeFou, “So he’s gone and gambled away all his inheritance an’ he needs her money now! Why else would he marry someone like her? But it’s ok because his is an old important family, so he’s more important!”

    “You’re not helping, LeFou!” says Font le Roy.

    Enraged, Céline throws the bouquet in his face and tells Achilles that she will marry him.

    dcz2b7-e501e12f-ae48-47dc-b7ce-0616c1d38398.jpg

    (Image source BC Anime at Deviant Art)

    But the fun part is always animating the big final fight scene, which in this case is a cramped, intimate fight blasphemously inside a cathedral. Font le Roy, enraged, draws his cane sword and attacks Achilles for “ruining everything”, Achilles defending himself with a candelabra. We had fun with the swashbuckling tropes partnered to Will’s one-liners (“Hey, now, St. Ignatius deserves better than that!”).

    The dead go to intervene, but The Baron stops them. “This is a matter for the living.”

    “Well, I’m living!” says Céline, but is intercepted by LeFou, who blocks her path. She kicks him someplace painful just below camera, but by this point Font le Roy has Achilles against the altar and is about to thrust home, when Marie notices the blue stone on the sword-cane’s pommel, and most critically the cross therein.

    “My cross! You!” she screams confronting a terrified Font le Roy. “You, or your forefather! I recognize those eyes! That was my cross! Your forefather and his mob murdered me and stole it, it and all of the other treasures for my wedding! That wealth you gambled away was my family’s wealth!”

    Babbling, Font le Roy thrusts the sword into her chest, where it naturally does nothing except get stuck. “Nice of you to return it,” she says dryly as he backs away.

    Regaining his composure, Achilles approaches with the candelabra, ready to strike (“This ends here”). Céline stops him. “Don’t sink to his level.” And instead, he drops the candelabra.

    “Can I at least punch his ugly face?”

    She smiles, “We can do it together!” and they punch out Font le Roy together.

    Maman Lebeaux drags up the priest and says, “Well, I’d hate to waste perfectly good wedding arrangements!”

    Regina, smiling warmly, puts her hand on Céline’s shoulder. “With my full blessing!”

    “Well,” Achilles says, “I just wish I had family to give me away too, but, um…”

    “You have family,” says the young dead woman from before. “Achilles, it is I…your mother. I wish…I wish I could have been there for you, but a fever took me right after you were born. I knew it was you the second I saw my old ring.”

    e0ab1b4c2459e25c7ad330bf010a1bef.jpg
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    Sort of these two scenes together (Image sources Fanpop on Pinterest and YouTube)

    So we have our Big Wedding in the cathedral and the Big Kiss, and then on to a big parade down the dawn streets of Nawlins and the big celebration dinner back at Céline’s restaurant with living and dead partying together, Achille’s band and the Band of the Dead playing “Kindred Spirits” together, bringing us to the close. Well, other than the credits gags!

    The animation team in Florida did an outstanding job. The lower cost of living let us save money to put into production rather than overhead and still pay everyone a good wage. I pushed them, but they were happy to be there. We made and make a great team.

    We’d debut for Thanksgiving of 1997 and made $242 million against our $72 million budget. Not bad, but not breaking the bank (we did have a wee bit of competition from other studios that year, like Spirit of the West and Flintstones 2, not to mention a little picture called Star Wars Episode I). Critics mostly liked us, though some found it a bit formulaic. We got accused of everything from bias against interracial relationships (*ahem!*) or bias against white people since the villain was white (so was half the damned supporting cast!) and we even got accused of promoting necrophilia! Do they not teach metaphors in school anymore?

    We won some Annies, got nominated for Best Original Song (“Kindred Spirits”) and the Best Animated Picture Oscar. We also got a lot of Image awards. The soundtrack won a Grammy and sold Platinum, and even led to a brief spike in popularity for Dixieland Jazz.

    But most importantly, I get a lot of fan letters, particularly from folks that look like me and my kids, who are just happy to have a Disney Animated Feature and Disney Princess of their own, and that’s the legacy that means the most to me.

    The story, and the story of how it got made and how audiences took it, has a few ups and downs, just like every real relationship does. Suz and Mo and Antoine and I had some ups and downs in Florida for sure. At first Suz in particular hated living on Walt Disney World. She hated the humidity and the “artificiality” and the isolation of life on Disney property. But we grew to find our own place and our own social circles in that new world. Antoine in particular grew up considering Florida “Home”, and developed an obsession with alligators by age five, along with a love for my family’s properly spicy Creole food that Suz and Mo find “a bit too much”.

    We’re all from different worlds, but we’re all one family. And if some days feel like a bit of Hell, well, that’s alright, because we’re doing it together. And together is Heaven.



    [1] This happened pretty much the same way in our timeline and led, eventually, to Corpse Bride in 2005.

    [2] Klubien’s more fleshed out idea in our timeline eventually evolved into The Princess and the Frog.
     
    Undank ist der Weltenlohn
  • Chapter 18: Chairman of the Board (Cont’d)
    Excerpt from Jim Henson: Storyteller, an authorized biography by Jay O’Brian


    Jim and Roy looked on in dismay as Kindred Spirits underperformed. Trapped in a three-way battle with Universal’s Spirit of the West and Columbia’s The Flintstones 2, it had managed to win the day, but the three-way competition took its toll. Roy also wondered if they were stretching the definition of “Princess” too far with Céline, who was the daughter of a New Orleans “Queen” by stature, but not actually royalty (unless one counted her mother’s unsupported claim to be descended from French royalty). The two upcoming animated features, The Poet and the Dragon and Heart of Ice, both featured more traditional princesses (though one was in reality a dragon), and Roy was confident about their chances, though Jim had to admit to himself that the growing competition from all sides was leaving him scared that they’d soon reach a point to where rising costs and increased competition would combine with dwindling novelty to make animated film once again a money-losing proposition.

    That said, there was a bigger issue at play in December of 1997: all three animated films struggled against the juggernaut that was Lucasfilm and Fox’s Star Wars, Episode I. The achingly-anticipated film had been all the buzz for two years straight (arguably for two decades straight), and if the film failed to meet the impossibly high expectations of the fans, it still cleared a record-shattering $1 billion and utterly dominated the Holiday movie season. Stanley Gold openly wondered why, if George Lucas was a Disney shareholder, the Prequels weren’t being released by MGM rather than Fox? Didn’t Disney already have Star Wars at the parks? Associate Director George Lucas even walked out of a meeting after Gold floated the idea of Disney just merging with Lucasfilm and making Star Wars a Disney IP alongside Marvel and The Muppets.

    “It’ll be a cold day in hell before I sell Star Wars to Disney!” George angrily told Jim.

    All said, it had been a rough year at the movies. On one hand, the summer had been fantastic. The Secret Life of Toys had dominated over the summer, breaking $380 million and proving that full-CG animation was a real player. Furthermore, the combined T- and R-rated releases of The Lost World had broken $500 million, earning 3rd place at the yearly box office behind Star Wars and Terminator 3, while The Fantastic Four had come in fourth, breaking $400 million (officially $444.4 million, a number that Jim suspected was too perfect to be true, knowing how opaque the earnings game was). On the other hand, the Holiday season had, of course, been rough. In general, the studio made good profits, though much of the largess from The Lost World would be shared with Amblin. Parks were doing well even as costs increased. Still, net income had only increased less than 12%, which was a darn good increase, but far less than the previous year’s near 21% jump, though this was largely driven by the NBC acquisition.

    And with NBC dropping in the ratings against ABC, CBS, and PFN and the LA Rams only just breaking even when Disney-exclusive merchandise was included, stocks were flat, and shareholders annoyed. Les Moonves would be summarily let go in the spring of 1998 after multiple charges of quid pro quo sexual harassment. His severance package, though, had been generous and he almost immediately got a job at WB to run their upstart network TV station. Some shareholders began to second-guess the decision to lose a “genius” just because he “had a weakness for the ladies”. Jim assured them that Moonves’s actions were unbecoming of the Disney name and created massive legal risk, but the leadership turnaround, combined with the continuing Disney-NBC culture clash, were increasingly being seen as Bernie, Jim, and Stan losing control of the situation. Jim and Bernie assured them that Jamie Kellner, whom they’d recruited from CBS, where he ran the successful TBS, was going to build back NBC, but the young exec had never managed a network of NBCs size.

    “It’s bullshit,” Bernie told Jim after the contentious meeting. “You fucking rebuilt this company from the joke of Hollywood to a leading studio, and the ungrateful bastards play Tuesday Morning Quarterback with each decision.”

    “Undank ist der Weltenlohn,” Jim replied with a shrug, a phrase that one of the German Imagineers working on Disneytown Berlin had taught him, meaning “Unthankfulness is the World’s prize”.[1]

    Instead, the fastest growth remained from Genie, the Internet Portal that they’d taken over from GE following the NBC deal. Some, seeing the increasing profit margins at Imagine, Inc., were suggesting that a larger investment in online presence and technology might be called for, in particular GE’s Bob Wright, though Leo Tramiel and his son Brian both warned Jim that the slow dial-up speeds were not compatible with his hopes for expanding Disney’s online video presence. “We can post exclusive artwork and sell toys and T-shirts, a few simple Shorts and games and puzzles,” Brian told him, “But we’re a long way out from when someone can just download and play a movie.” New technologies in high-speed internet beyond the old 5.56 kbps telephone modem were showing promise, as was a new scheme for how regional network interconnections were managed, but it would be years before high-speed internet would proliferate beyond tech hubs and major cities.

    “I guess the screech is here for the foreseeable future,” he said, referring to the dial-up modem tones instantly familiar to anyone who signed in to Leap or Genie.

    “Yep,” said Brian, “Get used to it, pops.”

    And as he grew more experienced as Chairman, particularly in the areas of finance, Jim began to notice things, rather underhanded things, that he’d never really noticed in day-to-day operations. Like how the Disney Plazas at each Disneytown, including at Port Disney and Pleasure Island, were officially classified as “Shopping Malls”, which, due to an odd tax loophole, allowed them to be used as tax shelters[2]. Similar dodgy issues surrounded Disney’s strange extra-governmental enclave in Florida, the “Reedy Creek Improvement District”, which made Walt Disney World practically an independent polity within the State of Florida. What, Jim wondered, would happen if the State of Florida decided to change the terms of the deal? Even Kermit’s Swamp and Disney’s growing Green Energy generation assets, which he’d spearheaded as a good faith means of protecting the environment and the endangered Florida wetlands, were effectively being leased to fossil fuel companies as “carbon offsets” under a provision in the Green Growth Act, allowing the partnering companies to continue to pollute while avoiding some Carbon taxes. On the plus side they had expanded the protected wetlands under the deals, but then again, so much of the area they’d “protected” was serious wetland that Disney had no plans to develop due to cost issues. His son Brian even ironically noted how many gas-guzzling private jets flew in to Orlando for the yearly Green Technologies Summit and how much trash the Earth Day Celebrations created. Jim didn’t like any of it.

    “Politics are like sausage. It's best not to see it being made,” Stan Kinsey told him, misquoting Bismarck.

    But Jim still increasingly felt like a phony and a hypocrite. And not just from sketchy business deals. Overtly merch-driven shows, like those from Sunbow that he’d dumped in the 1980s out of dislike for the “manipulation” of children inherent to them, were now back on Disney TV courtesy of Princess Squad and Hero Squad. Brenda Chapman had convinced him that the shows themselves had redeeming value, even impressing him with some particularly moving scenes, so he gave them a pass, but he had to ask himself, am I changing Disney for the better, or is it changing me for the worse?

    Princess Squad
    was also creating friction with Roy, who feared that it was “cheapening” the classic Walt-era Princesses, in particular the “big three” of Snow White, Cinderella, and Sleeping Beauty. Roy had been instrumental in delaying their films’ release on home video and steadfastly refused to entertain the idea of sequels for precisely that reason, and yet here they were: teaming up to fight villains like Charlie’s Angels! Jim and Brenda worked with him to at least ensure that the characters stayed true to Walt’s vision for them, but even so, it was another point of contention between Jim and Roy at a time where Jim’s cache with both sides of the Disney family was increasingly at risk.

    But far beyond the studios, 1997 had been a rough year. Five people including a 5-year-old girl had been killed at the Disneyland gate following a shooting by a mentally unstable man. It was one of many incidents of politically-motivated violence that year and that decade. A bizarre letter from a man claiming to be a witness to the shooting and also a gun-runner, which Jim ascribed to a sick hoax, was turned over to the FBI to deal with. The stresses caused by the shooting were causing acrimonious arguments on the board as different factions blamed each other for the lapse in security, even as Sonny assured Jim that little could have been done to prevent such a random act of violence. Diane and Stanley Gold used every opportunity to snipe at each other as acrimony grew, and while nobody specifically called out Jim’s centrality in the anti-Disney rhetoric, Jim began to suspect that he might be run out in an effort to deflect the anger.

    But the burgeoning return of the Disney Family Civil War, or any potential intrigues against Jim, would be put on hold in December of 1997 when, on the 31st anniversary of Walt’s death, Lilian Bounds Disney suffered a minor stroke caused in part, the doctors said, by the stress and emotion of the day. By dumb luck her grandson Walt Disney Miller had been visiting her after producing an episode of The Wonderful World of Disney and was able to get her medical attention[3]. Ron, Diane, and Roy put their differences aside and all went out of their way to help out, as did Jim and his family. Lilian was recovering in the hospital and had some damage to her right occipital lobe, ultimately losing sight in her left eye[4], but was otherwise fairly unaffected. After a brief hospital stay, she returned to her West Hollywood home with a full-time nurse to care for her as she recovered.

    The close call would bring the two sides of the family together in mutual care and concern, and led to a three-way mending of fences with both sides of the Disney family and the Hensons as all sides worked in good faith to get the family matriarch the care that she needed in her recovery. It was a brief reprieve and “cease fire” that would soon be severely tested.

    Jim also got a call from his son John. Actor Chris Farley had been dragged in to the nurse’s station at the back of his shop on Sunset Boulevard following an apparent overdose. The Nurse administered some medication and he stabilized. But what came next would make headlines.

    “I woke up in John’s back room,” Farley told Good Neighbor. “I’d been on a long nod, and really spiraling fast. I’d done my best to follow in John Belushi’s footsteps, and I was on the verge of burning out the same way. But as I came to, the very first face that I saw was Christ’s. I mean, it was a picture that Nurse Maria had put up, the one with the burning heart and the thorns that you see all over LA, you know the one. Well, yea, I know it was a picture and I was definitely still fogged up from the drugs, but Christ spoke to me at that moment. I’d grown up Catholic, of course, but never really got into church. But after I recovered, John introduced me to Padre Jose and I had my first communion and confession in years. With the Lord’s help, I cleaned myself up.”

    Farley’s salvation and sobriety made headlines, as did John Henson, whose fluid spirituality had made him the subject of attacks by the religious right, being his sponsor at a Catholic recovery center. Farley thanking Maria and John Henson for saving his life and thanking Jesus for saving his soul helped diffuse some of the energy of the ongoing attacks against the Hensons, and gave them a bit of a reprieve.

    “I don’t care what [Pat] Robertson says,” he told Good Neighbor, “Jim and John Henson are Godly men.”

    As such, as 1998 dawned, Jim was cautiously optimistic about the future. He and Stan and Bernie would, he was sure, be able to turn NBC around, see the Rams into profitability in time for the Stadium to be completed, and retake Disney’s place as the undisputed master of animation.

    Little did he know that he’d have a far bigger challenge ahead of him.



    * * *​

    3-Year Financial Data, Walt Disney Entertainment (DIS)

    Year​
    Revenues ($M)*​
    Expenses**​
    Net Income​
    1995​
    $ 13,321​
    $ 9,662​
    $ 3,659​
    1996​
    $ 18,358​
    $ 13,939​
    $ 4,419​
    1997​
    $ 19,804​
    $ 14,890​
    $ 4,914​
    * Includes earnings from NBC starting Oct. 1995, hence the jump in revenues

    ** Includes Park Expansions and NBC operating expenses starting Oct 1995



    The Board of Directors for the Walt Disney Entertainment Company, January 1998:

    Stanley Kinsey, CEO
    James M. “Jim” Henson, Chairman and CCO
    Richard “Dick” Nunis, President and COO
    Roy E. Disney, Chairman and President, Disney-MGM Studios
    Bob Wright (General Electric)
    Al Gottesman (President, Henson Arts Holdings)
    Dianne Disney Miller (Partner, Retlaw Enterprises)
    Peter Dailey (former US ambassador to Ireland and Roy Disney’s brother-in-law)
    Charles Cobb (CEO of Arvida Corp.; representing the interests of Bass Brothers)
    Alfred Attilio “Al” Checchi (representing Marriott International)



    Advisory Board Members (non-voting, ad-hoc attendance):

    E. Cardon “Card” Walker, Chairman Emeritus
    Sid Bass (CEO of Bass Brothers Enterprises)
    Steven Spielberg (Partner, Amblin Entertainment)
    Steve Jobs (CEO & President of Apple Computer, Inc.)
    George Lucas (CEO of Lucasfilm, Ltd.)
    J. Willard “Bill” Marriott, Jr. (CEO of Marriott International)
    Ray Watson, Chairman Emeritus (former head of the Irvine Company)
    Caroline Ahmanson (head and founder of Caroline Leonetti Ltd.)
    Philip Hawley (Carter Hawley Hale)
    Samuel Williamson (senior partner, Hufstedler, Miller, Carson, & Beardsley)
    Stan Lee (Chairman of Marvel Entertainment)
    Ronald “Ron” Miller (CEO Emeritus)
    Frank Wells (Chairman and CEO Emeritus)



    The Disney Executive Committee:

    Frank Wells, CEO
    James M. “Jim” Henson, Chairman and CCO
    Richard “Dick” Nunis, President
    Thomas “Tom” Wilhite, Chairman, Disney-MGM Studios
    John Hench, President, Walt Disney Imagineering Workshop
    Roy E. Disney, President, Walt Disney Studios



    * * *​

    Stocks at a Glance: Walt Disney Entertainment (DIS)

    January 4th, 1998

    Stock price: $94.78

    Major Shareholders: Henson family (18.6%), Roy E. Disney family (12.2%), Disney-Miller family (12.1%), General Electric (10.4%), Sid Bass (8.7%), Bill Marriott (5.7%), Amblin Entertainment (1.2%), Apple Comp. (0.7%), Lucasfilm Ltd. (0.5%), Suspected “Knights Errant” (4.8%), Other (25.1%)

    Outstanding shares: 498.6 million



    [1] Hut tipp an dich, @Shiny_Agumon.

    [2] Hat tip to @ajm8888 for digging up that tricky little fact about the Mall.

    [3] In our timeline she died in her home.

    [4] I have no idea what blood vessel caused the stroke in our timeline, and whether it was due to blockage or hemorrhage, but assuming it was hemorrhagic if she then laid down following the stroke, such as due to the headache, it would cause blood to pool towards the back of the skull and primarily damage the occipital lobe, regardless of source, primarily affecting vision.
     
    Meta-Discussion: 1998
  • Setting the Stage 10: Nowhere to go but up!

    Everybody (yea yea!) is makin’ bank on this Dot Com thing, and is in the mood to party!


    The Stock Market just keeps going up, with everyone increasingly wishing that they’d gotten in on the ground floor with those new “dot-com” stocks that grow and grow without any signs of stopping. It’s time to put all of your money into the market and party like it’s 1929! I hear that Enron is a brilliant investment.

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    What could possibly go wrong? (Image source Documentary Heaven and Wikimedia)

    In our timeline, Titanic from the year before is still the massive success of all successes, its box office receipts going up and up even as the titular ship goes down again and again on screen after screen. Armageddon and Deep Impact vie for your asteroid-apocalypse-based thrills as something comes crashing violently down, with the ensuing box office battle asking a critical question: is it easier to train astronauts to drill, or drillers to astronaut? Godzilla (or at least a Godzilla-adjacent kaiju) tears up New York City and tears apart Kaiju fandom (at least her kids are adorable). And surely these hit blockbuster movies, full of disasters and stark lessons on man’s hubris, are no indication of what’s to come, right?

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    “One of these things is not like the others…”

    Well, they’ll have some competition from Spielberg’s Saving Private Ryan along with the surprise hits There’s Something About Mary and Shakespeare in Love.

    Oscar Bait singles from many of these films will battle for the Billboard Charts too.

    “There…you are……stuck in my heeeaaad…!”

    Speaking of sticking in your head, Pop music! The Barenaked Ladies will break out on the pop charts with a quirky indie sound. Not-so “Alternative” anymore bands like The Goo Goo Dolls and Semisonic will play on the charts. The Offspring will prove “Pretty Fly” for white guys. Brandy and Monica will insist that “The Boy is Mine”. And surprisingly enough, Ska and Neo-Swing will appear out of nowhere, dominate the charts with a horn-heavy sound, and then disappear again just as suddenly, giving the world musical whiplash.

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    (Image sources Metro, Great Song)

    TV-wise That ‘70s Show will launch and Whose Line is it Anyway? will come to the US. Will and Grace will feature an openly gay SITCOM lead. Babylon 5 will end and Stargate SG-1 spin up. And HBO will start to redefine television with Oz, The Sopranos the very next year, and soon other high production value dramas, leading to a new era for television as more than just the place for those who can’t make it in the movies.

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    At least in our world. Your alternate timeline mileage may vary.

    Meanwhile in the world of actual disasters (as opposed to the cinematic ones), hurricanes in Central America, flooding in China, tsunamis in Papua New Guinea, fires and tornadoes in Florida, and famine in Africa kill thousands. Many blame at least some of these disasters on climate change and demand action.

    Answering the call, Exxon and Mobile say “hold my beer” and merge into a petroleum giant that will spend more than the GDP of most nations every year feeding climate skepticism.

    In a nice moment of disaster aversion, the Good Friday Agreement is signed, leading to the Belfast Accords and helping bring an end to nearly a century of Northern Irish violence known (in typical British/Irish understatement) as “The Troubles”.

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    They’re so cute when they’re little (Image source NASA)

    In another World Peace moment, the International Space Station begins to be assembled. It will be a great place of scientific discovery and world diplomacy and a milestone in Space Exploration, despite opposition by detractors to the high price tag.

    1200px-Bill_Clinton_and_Monica_Lewinsky_on_February_28%2C_1997_A3e06420664168d9466c84c3e31ccc2f.jpg

    Well, this is going to suck…

    While back on Earth in the US, scandal will erupt when President Bill Clinton is accused of having an affair – in the Oral, err, Oval Office no less – with young Intern Monica Lewinsky. This will lead to America’s first Impeachment since Andrew Johnson in the aftermath of the Civil War.

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    And in slightly related news, the FDA approves Viagra for use with erectile dysfunction so things can indeed keep going up.

    And America soon demands that Pfizer come up with a pill that does the exact opposite for their elected officials.
     
    This post Abides...
  • Taoist Noir (The Buddha of Sunset Strip, 1998)
    Post from Cinema Surrealismé Netlog, by Darque Tydd, November 12th, 2009


    There are “Smart Dumb” productions, seemingly low-brow features that hide a subtle genius that makes it appeal to the high-brow viewer. The works of Matt Groening, Ben Stiller, and Mike Judge come to mind. Then there are “Dumb Smart” productions that have the façade of the high-brow, but overlay this on standard, cliched, lowest-common-denominator stuff that no amount of accurate physics equations, Tiffany armoires, or Kafka references can conceal. The shows Frasier and Ingenious come to mind.

    And then there’s The Buddha of Sunset Strip. Smart, dumb, high-brow, and low-brow burn a joint, walk into a bowling alley, and The Sublime happens.

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    It’s, like…kinda this, man?

    The Cohen Brothers already had a reputation for finding the absurd in real life. And this film continues that trend, taking the real-life characters that they knew on the streets of LA and tossing them into a Deconstructive Film Noir Western Stoner Comedy (yes, you read that right) and letting the magic happen. Full of Surrealisté visuals and deep-cut philosophical and religious references, along with subtle explorations of race, class, gender, and mental health, this film doesn’t just Transcend, it Abides. You’ll see what I mean about that soon enough, man.

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    (Image source QuotesGram)

    The story follows The Dude, real name Jeff Leibowitz (Jeff Bridges), a stoner who wanders the Sunset Strip in LA, largely a directionless tumbleweed (with symbolic visuals and music to match). He’s gained a reputation as a “real chill dude” who “helps out where he can”, but whose lack of resources and focus limits him, with most assuming him to be homeless. In truth, he mostly ends up building ever more complex bongs in his shop, drinking White Russians, smoking pot, and bowling with his friends Walter (John Goodman) and Danny (a skinny post-fast John Candy) while dreaming of “doing, like, real good, you know, man?”

    Many news reports will tell you that he’s based on John Henson, the “real” Buddha of the Strip, but this is not entirely true. While Henson is clearly a major influence, many of the characteristics for the character come from director and former activist Jeff Dowd in a sort of composite character. Similarly, Peter Exline, Lewis Abernathy, and director John Milius were composited for Walter while Danny is very much autobiographical for John Candy, being a formerly beloved actor who lost his career when he lost his weight in an emergency diet, making him a very sympathetic character[1].

    The plot, which doesn’t really matter, is initiated when a dying gangster (Tupac Shakur) stumbles into The Dude’s drum making shop on the Sunset Strip, handing him a bloody demo tape, dying on his Persian rug, and incidentally ruining said rug (Danny: “That’s a real shame, man. It really tied the room together”). The demo tape is of some hip-hop music that everyone in the film admits is “total crap” (ironically written and performed by Tupac in a deliberately awful way). This drags The Dude and his friends into a twisting Chandler-style narrative involving a corrupt music industry executive (Gene Hackman’s Harry Hart Spade), German Nihilists, street gangs (in particular Biggie Smalls’ Da’ Phat Man), and a surreal performance artist played by Julianne Moore reportedly based on a composite of Carolee Schneemann and Yoko Ono. All interrupted by The Dude’s pot dreams, adding surrealisté visual philosophy and symbolic, often Freudian representation to help frame The Dude’s mental and emotional state.

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    (Image source Reddit)

    But none of this is truly important. Instead, the plot serves as a vehicle for exploring the relationship between the Power Trio of the Abiding Dude, the temperamental and violent neo-Jewish ‘Nam vet Walter, and the melancholic and sympathetic Danny, who becomes a scapegoat and sink for any stress and frustration by The Dude and Walter (“Shut the fuck up, Danny”). We watch these three, all flawed in their own way, get pulled into something way out of their depth, and we behold as Hilarity Doth Ensue. And thus Ensuing, said Hilarity also serves as a vehicle for exploring complex themes of class, race, religion, gender, alienation, mental health, corruption, and inequality.

    And framing it all, a Cowboy Narrator played by Sam Elliott, whose diegesis is in question, relates The Dude’s experiences, often in quasi-religious terms.[2]

    And all with a host of epic needle drops from psychedelic rock to country & western ballads providing a fitting and occasionally ironic soundscape, often with accompanying surrealisté dream sequence.


    The film explores some fairly deep philosophical and spiritual questions, albeit in rather indirect and comedic ways, leading to a tragicomic series of circumstances as our unwitting hero tries to sort out the mess with the “crap” demo tape[3] while still trying to make his bowling league tournament slot against a creepy pederast known as “The Jesus” (John Turturro), which has spun off its own series of religious speculations among the fandom.

    But the plot, as stated, doesn’t matter. It’s all the larger framework for a quirky and surrealisté character-driven dark comedy that explores deeper issues in subtle ways that somehow merge into the sublime.

    While critics had little idea what to think at the time (though most have revised their reviews in hindsight to recognize the genius), and mundane audiences often left confused, leading to an underperformance upon release, posterity and the power of the rewatch has allowed the film’s subtle-yet-sublime genius to be properly appreciated. Its endless quotability helps as well.

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    (Image source Gfycat)

    Over time, this film has even given some a true spiritual, even religious experience, leading to the rise of Dudism, a recognized faith with hundreds of thousands of followers where questions of its “seriousness” are missing the point. One-part New Age Taoist, one-part Hippie Buddhist, one-part pre-ecclesiastical Christian, one-part Epicurean, and several parts self-aware, the Dudists seek to attain that truly enlightened state known as “Abiding”. Strangely, this has led the “real” Buddha of the Strip, John Henson, to become occasionally stalked, Life of Brian style, by Dudist Pilgrims seeking his wisdom, which he’s Abiding enough to share (he’s well-versed in multiple spiritual traditions) while also putting them to work on whatever charitable cause he’s supporting at the time.

    Most are shocked to discover that he neither drinks nor smokes weed (not even White Russians, that’s a Dowd thing), and are even more shocked at how hard he works, and then makes them work!

    There’s your first lesson on how to “Abide”, kid.

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    While The Buddha of Sunset Strip underperformed, it naturally, like so many Surrealisté works, went “cult” (some say literally) and has become for many the Cohen’s Magnum Opus that displays all of their quirky, Noir-tinged talents and cleverness. So, is this film worth changing your faith over? That’s a question you need to answer yourself. I will say that it is truly an Experience, an ingenious Surrealisté narrative and character study that does more than Transcend into the Sublime…

    …it Abides.



    [1] It also makes his character's subsequent fatal heart attack per our timeline’s film that much more tragic. Steve Buscemi, whose career has broken out sooner than in our timeline, will have a cameo, but is busy doing Tarantino’s Aimless Drifters, which is sort of a companion to this film. More on this later.

    [2] As in our timeline, the Cohens have based everything on people that they knew in LA in the late ‘80s and ‘90s and on the stories these people told them, so it’s natural that there will be much parallelism in the characters, but that the plot will change wildly since while people change slowly, day-to-day experiences can vary highly based upon chaotic interactions. The addition of John Henson into their sphere has added a hopeful, “wants to help out, man” aspect to The Dude (and also the carpentry aspect, mostly building drums along with complex bongs and other pot paraphernalia) on top of Dowd’s stoner cynicism. John Candy gives some extra tragic dimensions to the Donny/Danny character, but otherwise the biggest change is to all of the stories and thus the plot.

    [3] The “crap” song is the precursor to a top ten hit by a mainstream rapper and critical evidence in a plagiarism case, not that it matters. The handwritten label even says “Trax by DJ Mack Guff-N”.
     
    In the News...
  • Wall Street Journal launches TV News Network
    Associated Press, May 5th, 1998


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    New York – The Wall Street Journal today launched an eponymous cable news network in collaboration with Time Atlantic. The news network will focus primarily on financial news, though many speculate that it may continue in the newspaper’s tradition of center-right editorialism and coverage of topics of conservative interest. The owning Bancroft Family and Editorial Board, however, have maintained that they fully intend to honor the Journal’s long tradition of journalistic independence and integrity[1]. “The Journal’s long history as a bastion of reliable financial reportage will be maintained, as will our commitment to integrity,” they reported.



    Davydenko Visits White House with Mexican Diplomats
    The Wall Street Journal, June 9th, 1998

    Post by @ajm8888


    At a diplomatic meeting yesterday, Monday June 8th, President Al Gore met with Mexican Foreign Affairs Secretary Rosario Green along with Finance Secretary Angel Gurria, Interior Secretary Francisco Labastida and Sunray Holdings Bank founder and CEO Valentyn Davydenko. The meeting was in part to ensure a crackdown on cartels, get US-Mexican trade closer, show new ways to shore Mexican economy that the Russian-born Davydenko has advocated. Davydenko is a close friend of President Luis Colosio[2] and has been an important advisor to the Mexican President and his administration. The Colosio Administration is still suffering from the arrest of Defense Secretary General Jesus Rebollo last year[3] in last year's legislative election's the Institutional Revolutionary Party did not get a majority[4]. President Colosio was unavailable for the visit due to a trip to the Vatican.

    Davydenko insisted Mexico was safe and stable for investment but insists America and Mexico must work closely for economic and national security purposes of both countries. “We have far to go but we're closer than when we started at making the relationship between Mexico and America on equal footing, so let’s make that a true economic friendship.”

    President Gore called it “A momentous event in our shared history,” and called on… Cont’d on A2



    Gore signs Immigration and Border Security Act
    The Washington Post, August 6th, 1998


    Washington, DC – President Al Gore signed into Law the tri-partisan Immigration Reform and Border Security Act co-sponsored by Senators John McCain (R, AZ) and Angus King (Ref, ME). The new Law, which combines reform to America’s outdated immigration system with increased spending on border security, received broad tri-partisan support despite a push by the left against what they considered “draconian” border controls and a push by the right against the immigration reforms, particularly the “limited amnesty” provisions.

    The immigration reforms will remove by-nation quotas and increase the availability and simplicity of educational and temporary worker visas, this last aspect a major Reform priority given the critical role of Latin American non-citizen workers in the agriculture industry. It will also offer limited amnesty opportunities to select illegal residents that meet certain criteria, including no criminal history, existing family and occupational supports, those with a plausible fear of violence in their home nation, and those brought across the border before their 18th birthday.

    The enhanced border security provisions will include increased spending on Customs and Border Patrol and increased border fencing and monitoring technology, and comes amid a wave of terrorism fears driven by the increasing availability of Russian-made firearms in the Western Hemisphere[5]. Importers fear that the stringent new requirements, which will now mandate a Passport for even simple “day crossings” (it used to require a simple form of ID such as a Driver’s License) and will increase customs inspection requirements, will lead to delays at border crossings.

    Senator Strom Thurmond of South Carolina lambasted the immigration reform, calling it “a recipe for a flood of poor, uneducated welfare sinks” while Representative Bernie Sanders of Vermont called the expedited deportation protocols “the stuff of tyranny.” Most, however, see the bill as a “reasonable compromise” that, in the words of President Gore, “keeps our nation’s borders safe and secure while allowing for those who seek opportunity in our Country to do so legally and in the open.”

    “There’s something in there for everyone to love and hate,” said Post analyst… Cont’d on A4.



    USR Struggles with Corruption, Power Balance
    The Times of London, September 14th, 1998


    Kiev – Governor Leonid Kravchuk[6] of the Sovereign State of the Ukraine today announced an agreement-in-principal for a “regional trade arrangement” with the Central European Free Trade Agreement (CEFTA), a bloc of Eastern European countries that have made common cause financially and to a degree militarily. The deal will include tariff reductions and expedited customs on various agricultural and specialty goods as well as electrical power arrangements to sell nuclear-generated and renewable power from the Ukraine to the developing CEFTA nations. Special deals were reportedly also made with the Sovereign States of Dagestan, Chechnya-Ingush, and Azerbaijan among others to facilitate direct sales of Caspian hydrocarbons through the Ukrainian pipelines, though The Times could not independently confirm this.

    This announcement comes on the heels of the recent mobilization of the Ukrainian Sovereign State Security Service earlier this year, a paramilitary force that Kravchuk likened to the US National Guard and maintained was “ultimately subservient to the federal government”, but which Russian Nationalist politicians derided as an extra-governmental military force “intent on insurrection”. Kravchuk downplayed these fears. “The Sovereign State of the Ukraine will continue to work with our Russian partners,” said Kravchuk, “Even as we expand our own regional Sovereign State interests.”

    The Ukraine’s continued possession of Soviet-era nuclear weapons, though nominally under control of the Federal Armed Forces, added to the stakes of this announcement.

    The twin-announcements were met with much discussion in Brussels, as much as in Moscow, and speculation abounds at whether this marks a continued decentralization, or even presages a disintegration, of the USR or is simply a rebalancing of regional autonomies in the still-developing federation. USR Prime Minister Boris Yeltsin’s office released a statement noting that Moscow-Kiev relations “remain strong”, and that the Security Service was simply a matter “of internal security for the Sovereign State”, though Eastern Watchers remain skeptical and independent surveys indicate that Yeltsin’s popularity is dropping while perceptions of him as a weak or unreliable leader are growing.

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    “What, me worry?” (Image source History.com)

    Nowhere is this weakness for the USR President more apparent than with his PM and protégé Boris Nemtsov, whose once-laudatory comments on Yeltsin have regressed through muted praise and into muted criticism, and rumors persist that he is pressuring Yeltsin to step aside, likely for his own Presidential run. Gains made in the Duma by Russian Nationalist parties have threatened the shaky coalition government, which is already increasingly dependent upon support by the centre-left Yabloko. Overt corruption continues to plague the young federation, and international outcry over USR arms production, a post-Soviet industry being used as a national jobs programme, continues to grow as cheap USR-made weapons and munitions feed instability the world over, with uprisings in Latin America, Africa, and Central Asia continuing to spread unrest and feed growing international arms smuggling rings and other criminality. While the arms production and sales continue to prop up the post-Soviet economy, even despite the losses to corruption and theft, international calls to cease and desist are growing.

    Russian-made arms continue to feed the brutal stalemate in the Afghanistan Civil War, with the Taliban in the south and the Northern Alliance under Ahmad Shah Massoud both armed primarily with USR-made weapons, in many cases bought with opium gum. USR weapons also feed the Zapista uprising in Mexico, which threatens to topple the Mexican government, and Maoist insurrections in The Philippines. Russian arms feed ongoing civil unrest in Somalia and arm the military of the de facto independent state of Somaliland to the north and exacerbate brutal ethic wars in the Congo. And USR-made weapons continue to feed terrorism in Asia, Europe, and the Americas, including the Aum cult in Japan and far-right militias in the United States, where federal agents were recently attacked in Mississippi with Ukrainian-built Kalashnikov assault rifles.

    And complicating things further, one of the principal recipients of this flood of arms are the nations of CEFTA, who have been importing Ukrainian-made arms at a high rate despite no official arms sales permitted by the federal government, in many instances directly purchasing arms from industry leadership, in other cases relying on smugglers and resellers. “Do I love twisted irony for feeding the Hungarians and Romanians and Poles the very arms they would use against Moscow? Why yes, yes I do!” said a Ukrainian arms smuggler who goes simply by Yuri.

    “Corruption and a severe lack of internal controls and accountability within the USR have made the proper accounting of arms and a full implementation of central authority nearly impossible,” said UK Foreign Minister… Cont’d on B2.



    “One man truly can make a difference. His name is Yuri.” – Anonymous FBI source “Big Tuna”.



    [1] WSJ TV will gain a reputation as a “small-c” conservative media outlet, gaining a wide viewership among center-right, business-minded, and libertarian consumers as an “alternative” to those who saw a liberal bias in most media outlets, but at the same time in keeping with its “independent and trustworthy brand” (and with a strong firewall between the news and editorial side), it will not devolve into a flagrantly partisan news source and maintain a reputation for integrity in publishing. As such, there will be less of a progressive news backlash such that MSNBC and other more flagrantly partisan leftist news sources will not spin up and CNN and other arguably “small-l liberal” news sources will not be pulled further left. There will still be plenty of debate about what network is “biased” or not, but the networks themselves will attempt to stay “above the fray” and at least try to maintain the appearance of objectivity (mileage will vary highly on how well they succeed or not). News Radio, underground newspapers, websites, and other non-mainstream sources will, of course, persist on the edges.

    [2] From the Yuri no trama nada bueno... post, Colosio survives thanks to Davydenko's wanting to see a Mexican presidential campaign and Davydenko's wife insisting on bringing a security detail with him in Tijuana. The assassination is foiled in part by Davydenko being there.

    [3] Rebollo becomes the Mexican defense secretary after his predecessor died in a helicopter crash. Rebollo was still in the pocket of Juarez Cartel boss Amado Carrillo Fuentes. He still goes down.

    [4] The Institutional Revolutionary Party (PRI) has been running Mexico since the 1930s. The fact they did not win a majority is huge.

    [5] Curse you, Yuri!!!

    [6] In this timeline the more Moscow-leaning Leonid Kuchma became the first Governor of the Sovereign State of the Ukraine pretty much by default, appointed by Gorbachev after helping to negotiate the Ukraine’s privileged position in the USR and tamping down separatist sentiments backed by Moscow’s seeming power, but by the mid-1990s western-leaning nationalism and the popularity of the Ukrainian People’s Party (UPP), for whom Kravchuk was the face, made growing gains in the State Duma and Kravchuk won the first open Governor’s election by a notable margin.
     
    Life After Death
  • Robert Downy Jr. Killed in Auto Crash
    The Los Angeles Times, June 14th, 1998


    LA – Oscar nominated Superman actor Robert Downey Jr. was killed yesterday on the I-5 near the I-10 merge and downtown LA, the result of a traffic accident. Downey, who was sober according to toxicology reports, was deemed not at fault for the collision, which was blamed on a driver using their cellular phone. He was 33.

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    (Image source Amazon)

    Downey, whose career had taken a major setback following arrests for substance possession and abuse, had been two years sober and by all accounts was turning his life around. “This is a truly tragic and utterly pointless death,” said friend and director Ron Howard. “The world has been robbed of a great man and a fantastic actor with so much ahead of him. He will be missed.” Downey’s current film, the drama Sober, has been put into indefinite pause while Warner Brothers reassesses production.

    Downey, the son of a Hollywood actor and filmmaker, rose to fame in the 1980s playing a variety of “teen comedy” roles before moving into dramatic roles, culminating in an Oscar nominated performance as Charlie Chaplin in the 1992 biopic. He went on to fame playing Superman, starting in Man of Steel, where he… Cont’d on A2.



    Chapter 18: Chairman of the Board (Cont’d)
    Excerpt from Jim Henson: Storyteller, an authorized biography by Jay O’Brian


    On a Thursday night in February of 1998, Jim was alerted to a message by his personal assistant Javier. The LAPD had called. Bob Forrest was in recovery at Cedars Sinai, and under police custody. He’d been picked up off of the street, in the midst of a severe overdose, and in possession of heroin and drug paraphernalia. Jim was listed as his “Emergency Contact”.

    Jim went to see him the next morning, finding him recovered for the most part, but still handcuffed to the bed rail. He was smiling, but his skin was pale and sunken and his voice shaky. He was reading a People Magazine with actor Robert Downey Jr. on the cover. “Hey, Jim,” Bob said. “Just reading about RDJ here.”

    “I never thought of you as a People person,” Jim joked.

    Forrest laughed, a croaking wheeze. “Yea, not my first choice, but RDJ’s really speakin’ to me. ‘Live life, don’t run from it.’ You know, I can’t even remember much of the last six months.”

    Jim didn’t know what to say. Forrest was relaxed and smiling, but he looked like one of the zombies from Kindred Spirits who’d lost the Angel Inside.

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    Bob Forrest c1998 (Image source YouTube)

    Jim ultimately bailed out Forrest and hired a driver to take him to his court-mandated rehab. He didn’t expect much. How many times had Forrest been through rehab? Nurse Maria, who worked for John, considered him a lost cause. “I’ve seen folks that deep all my life. He ain’t the quitting type, no. Pray for recovery, but mostly pray for his soul because he’ll be seeing Jesus real soon.”

    Jim was quite morose for the next few weeks, burying himself in his work as a distraction (in particular putting the finishing touches on the Studio Ghibli collaboration for What Dreams May Come), and spending far too much time alone in his “Hotel California” manor. One of those nights he took the time to read the People article. Yes, he could see why it was speaking to Forrest. It spoke to him too. The constant specter of mortality had always hung over him, and the ticking clock of time ever mocked him. But Downey had managed to push all of that aside and live in the moment, or was at least making of good show of doing so.

    When Jim saw Forrest upon his return from rehab, he was shocked. Forrest was looking fairly healthy (he’d gained weight) and actually happy. And more than that, he looked relieved, like a weight was lifted from his shoulders. He’s always been distracted when Jim met him, anxious and impatient as if he had somewhere else more important to be (i.e. on a nod). But this felt different.

    The whole ride back to Hotel California, Bob spoke nearly non-stop, a mix of excitement, promise, second chances, and melancholy for the “days I lost”. He spoke more than once about Downey. “You know, it really takes a junkie to reach a junkie. No offense, Jim, but you ain’t had to carry the monkey, so you can’t really speak to it, right?”

    Jim asked Bob if he’d like to meet Downey.

    “Well, fuck yea! We crossed paths back in the day, on the set of Less than Zero and all, but I never really got to know him.”

    Jim called in some favors and set up a get-together, meeting Downey at a private beach club. Jim had briefly met Downey on the set of Less than Zero as well, but he mostly sat back and let the two recovering addicts talk, even excusing himself on occasion to let them talk in private. The two found kindred spirits in one another. Bob even got a job doing the score and soundtrack for Sober. The two soon became close and Jim felt glad to have arranged the introduction.

    A couple of months later Robert Downey Jr. was killed in a car accident. Downey was clean and sober and driving responsibly. The accident was caused by an inattentive driver focusing on his phone. The sheer pointlessness of the death hit Jim like a punch to the gut. The man had overcome or at least tamed his demons, and a single, stupid jerk worrying more about his damned phone call than his driving killed him in an instant. The other driver survived and was facing manslaughter charges, but even this small “justice” felt hollow. Just another life destroyed for no point.

    Jim also immediately feared for Bob Forrest. Downey was his, for lack of better words, idol and mentor and lifeline. Jim called up Bob and rushed to see him, half expecting him to already be on a nod or at least considering it. To Jim’s pleasant surprise, Bob was sober and actually in good spirits, if a bit melancholy, composing a song for Downey’s funeral.

    “Yea, that’s life, Jim,” Bob told him. “Random as fuck. If there was a greater order or justice in life, I’d be dead in a ditch for my sins and Robert would be starring in his movie. Life is a meaningless abyss where the only point to life is living it. And I’m cool with that. No point to life but what you make for yourself.”

    “But doesn’t it seem unfair?”

    “Well, duh,” Bob laughed. “Life ain’t fair, and it’s unfair of us to expect it to be fair. What does the sun care about fairness? It ain’t shining for the trees’ sake and it don’t care that it’s giving the beach bunnies cancer. Rob’s dead. Ain’t no point. Just happens. Rob’s death don’t mean shit, it’s his life that matters, brother! What, I’m supposed to shoot a bunch of Turkish tar into my neck ‘cause he’s dead? Betray everything that he taught me ‘cause I’m fucking sad? Fuck that, I’m living ‘cause he can’t!

    “Like Rob said, it’s not when you die that matters, brother, it’s how you’re living, right?” Bob concluded.

    Forrest later discovered that Downey had left him a substantial amount of money in his will with the stipulation that he spend it on helping addicts. Bob didn’t hesitate and, underwritten by Henson Arts Holdings for business and administrative matters, founded Addict 2 Addict Advocacy with Flea and John Frusciante from the former Red Hot Chili Peppers and Dead Kennedys drummer D.H. Peligro. The advocacy and recovery assistance charity was dedicated to confidentially helping addicts without judgement or condescension and became one of the premier and most successful addiction treatment and advocacy organizations on the west coast.

    But the event also had a profound impact on Jim. Mortality and the tyranny of time had always hung over him. Part of what drove him was the need to “beat the clock” and pack in all of his ideas within his most certainly limited time on the planet. He’d felt profoundly each and every early death, from Slovak to the Coreys to Anthony Kiedis and most lately Downey. It had always seemed like an act of theft by the universe, good people stolen too early. But at the same time, he was watching as Downey’s and Kiedis’ tragic losses were paying forward, saving lives one addict at a time.

    Jim refused to believe in Bob’s “happy nihilism” philosophy and chose to believe that there was a greater order to the universe. He chose to believe that people had control over their fate. He loved the ideas in What Dreams May Come for “writing your own afterlife.”

    But one thing that Downey and Forrest said kept resonating with him: “living life, not running from it.” He hadn’t exactly run from life, but he was sure as sunrise running through life. He’d been in such a hurry to pack it all in, even as each new idea spawned three more. He wouldn’t consider himself a math whiz, but he knew that his ideas were growing far faster than he had any hope of completing them. The chances of him accomplishing everything, even if he could live forever, were mathematically impossible for as long as his creativity inevitably spawned more creativity.

    After several weeks of thinking about things, he called up Forrest. “Bob, you’re right. I need to live my life. Any advice on how to do it?”

    “Brother,” Forrest replied, “you’ve already done the hard part: admitting that you have a problem. Carve a slot out of your big, important executive schedule and meet me on Catalina this Saturday. We’re going to start living, no chemicals other than coffee required.”
     
    Build your own Afterlife
  • Chapter 19: What Dreams Come True
    A Guest Post for the Riding with the Mouse Net-log by Animator Jeff Pidgeon


    Sometimes dreams do come true. In my case it was a chance to live my dream of working with Studio Ghibli, which I always wanted to do despite the stress of the workplace, just to make something beautiful and meaningful.

    And for the record, I’m Jeff Pidgeon, an animator for 3D, and Terrell asked me to talk about my time working on 1998’s What Dreams May Come for WED Signature.

    220px-Whatdreamsposter.jpeg

    This, but animated!

    WED-sig was struggling a bit at the time. It wasn’t making very big margins and often running at a loss, being mostly a prestige label. But some people were calling it a waste of resources. That’s not true, since it actually limited losses by keeping us animators gainfully employed and helped sharpen our skills, but sunk costs from overhead with idle employees were not immediately visible on a PowerPoint slide, so some just saw cost vs. Box Office and assumed that was the whole story.

    They also missed the boost to morale. You have no idea how proud you are as an animator to have your name attached to a magnificent work of art. Gary Trousdale is proud of Hunchback even if it didn’t win an Oscar or make a big profit.

    Studio Ghibli, by contrast, was doing very well. Their share of the proceeds from The Bamboo Princess had helped them expand and even allowed Studio Ai to spin off. Miyazaki-san was working on Princess of the Wood and supporting an adaption of Aoi Hiiragi’s manga Whisper of the Heart and developing an adaption of LeGuin’s Earthsea trilogy when I first arrived in Japan[1]. Miyazaki-san, despite his taskmaster reputation, was very glad to see me and work with me on What Dreams May Come, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

    So anyway, my dream to work on such a masterpiece came true in ’95. I’d just finished animating on Finding Nemo when producer Bonnie Arnold approached me and a few other animators for What Dreams May Come, which would be another Studio Ghibli collaboration with some second-unit animation by Studio Ai. It all began back in ‘93 when someone handed Jim [Henson] a copy of the Richard Matheson novel.

    220px-RichardMatheson_WhatDreamsMayCome.jpg


    Well, Jim had it in his travel bag for a while, but hadn’t touched it. He was on a flight to Japan to meet with Hayao Miyazaki and trying to get some work done on the flight, but hitting a wall. So he opened up the book figuring he’d read a bit to clear his mind and then get back to work. And he read, and kept reading, enthralled by the deep cosmology of the story. When he finished, he started it again, underlining certain parts in blue ink. He read it obsessively for the remainder of his free time on the trip, even finding a translated copy for Miyazaki san, who soon became hooked himself. They knew that this needed to be made into a feature and agreed to make it the next Disney/Ghibli collaboration.

    Jim then met with Richard, and found that they had a lot in common spiritually, both being raised as Christian Scientists who got into new age spirituality back in the Age of Aquarius. And Richard’s cosmology is a true blending of many spiritual beliefs, both western and eastern. There are elements of Abrahamic faiths, Buddhism, Hinduism, Zen, Taoism, and the like, in a mélange of New Age ideas on self-empowerment.

    Jim hired Bonnie specifically for this piece, who was at first suggesting a live action film with effects, but then Bonnie saw The Bamboo Princess and agreed that it needed to be animated. She discovered that Interscope Communications had the film rights and approached them, setting up the deal. Then she recruited me to work on the storyboards with Miyazaki san.

    A dream come true indeed!

    laU6tP5sWdwT4wWfEYSuidrjZSxOVLxJElLHh7g08UU.jpg

    (Image source Suji_Rodah on Reddit)

    The name, of course, comes from Shakespeare’s Hamlet.

    For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
    When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
    Must give us pause.


    We read through Jim’s dog-eared, annotated paperback several times, seeing all kinds of places for breathtaking visuals. It became as much a labor of love for us as it did for Jim. We even spoke with Jim’s son John, who’d become a sort of expert on all things religion.

    The story is, for those who haven’t seen it, about life after death, and follows a sort of semi-New-Agey “create your own Heaven or Hell” cosmology, where screenwriter Chris Nielsen is killed in a car crash and ends up in a heaven of his own creation, part of a heavenly realm called Summerland. Alas, his beloved wife and true Soul Mate Ann is left heartbroken without him, and her art is soon affecting his Summerland realm, which takes on an impressionist art form, a literal world of paint shaped by her art while living that he shares. He tries, against the advice of a spectral figure trying to convince him to move on, to contact her, which only makes things worse for her, leaving her unable to move on.

    And when she commits suicide, she ends up in a Hell of her own creation, and he sets out with his otherworldly guide, who turns out to be his long-dead brother Robert, to rescue her from Hell, an impossible task.

    And if this reminds you of act 3 of a certain Dragon-based Disney Animated feature, well, that’s no accident, as Andreas was assisting us with some story and liked the “Hell can’t keep us apart” angle.

    It was a story of life and death, hope and despair, and love and loss. Themes of love and mortality, pain, healing, and recovery. It delved into deep emotional topics like depression and suicide and ended up with a T rating thanks to the heavy subjects and dark imagery, which evoked both Bosch and Ito at times. But in the end, it was a hopeful narrative, one built upon hope and love and healing, and many people have told me how important this film was for them in dealing with their own sense of loss and fear of death. Jim Henson was one of them.

    EfZuG6KWAAgp2LO.jpg

    (Image source Twitter)

    The story was based in large part on the Greek myth of Orpheus and Eurydice, naturally. It’s a tale of love and mortality, and a beautiful story.

    But much of it was about the art, and how we translated these beautifully described visuals into storyboards and then animated cels. We relied heavily on the DATA tech and the DIS stations. We worked with the artists to develop breathtaking visuals of heaven and hell from lofty cities in the sky to the horrifying purgatory of screaming heads trapped in the endless sands to the Monet-esque world of Chris’s Summerland, the latter of which Miyazaki-san took great delight in as a fan of impressionist art.

    KdCH55p0732QqmYu94txJSMvYcP-gtibGCjKWj90mjj5DFB8uYsT5h-MvnEBshtp_7ThLhxbuSG0Uu22fSAP72M6IblDfsqptipc97t370Uyl0F3cYKuSCriS9nf6JeXCq1bdbP5.png

    (Image source Sartle)

    What emerged was a true labor of love for all involved. Even Miyakzaki-san’s notorious gruffness was muted as he smiled in childlike delight with each visual and each frame. And we all worked hard to make it happen, knowing that this was Something Special.

    It took on a strange meta-resonance for us all as we crafted our own Heaven just like Chris, and our own Hell like Ann. Each frame, be it beautiful or horrific, we worked to ensure was a work of art in itself.

    cap012.jpg

    (Image source Specific Romantic)

    For the English dub, we got Tom Hanks to voice Chris, Brad Garrett to voice Robert, and then, despite her young age, Jude Barsi insisted on playing Ann, managing to speak with a level of maturity that surprised many given her young age. “Ann totally resonated with me,” she told me.

    And when we debuted at Cannes, we actually got honorable notice and were in contention for the Palm d’Or, a rarity for an animated feature. We’d eventually be nominated for the Oscar for Best Animated Feature in 1999, with strong competition from Beauty and the Beast and Heart of Ice.

    But needless to say, despite excellent reviews the arthouse release only made a few million, far below our rather high production budget given the level of detail that we put into it. Which of course didn’t help the case for WED-Sig.

    But in the end, What Dreams May Come achieved something better than any award or box office achievement: it achieved transcendence and immortality, living on forever as one of the greatest works of animation in human history.

    And that’s a dream come true.



    [1] Princess of the Woods is more or less Princess Mononoke (based on drawings that Miyazaki had made in the late 1970s), Whisper of the Heart is pretty much per our timeline save that there are slight differences to the original manga due to butterflies and differences in the art and music in the anime. Stay tuned on Earthsea.
     
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    Well, there goes the Neighborhood...
  • Roger Rabbit Returns!
    Interview with Joe Dante and Gary Trousdale for Disney Magazine, March 1998


    1987’s Who Framed Roger Rabbit took the world by storm with its mix of popular characters from classic animation, memorable new characters, brilliantly executed live-action integration, and a whirlwind plot. It spawned several animated Shorts, a TV Series (Roger Rabbit’s Tales from Toon Town), and a 1991 sequel, Roger Rabbit’s Toon Platoon. Now Roger and Jessica return to the big screen, along with a couple of “new additions” to the family, in this spring’s Roger Rabbit: Bunny in the ‘Burbs. And with us to talk about it are Director Joe Dante and Art Director and Animation lead Gary Trousdale.

    DM: By the time this film went into active production, Roger Rabbit had largely disappeared from the big screen save for the Shorts playing before Disney titles. What caused the long delay?

    GT: Well, the underperformance of Roger Rabbit 2, frankly. Roger 1 had been such a smashing success that all assumed that Roger 2 would do nearly as well. But it didn’t and so Roger went onto the back burner for a while. We did Shorts to keep the IP fresh, but then we made the TV Series and that brought in a whole new fandom.

    DM: But the film had been in Production Hell since the early 1990s

    GT: Well, Roger 3 had been in early production back in 1991 ahead of the release of Roger 2, but then got put on hold with some of the storyboards and pencil tests done. After The Hunchback of Notre Dame, which coincided with the release of the Roger TV series, I was asked to take over.

    DM: But the story wasn’t meshing.

    GT: The early team had been trying to build off of the big production of Roger 2 with its war scenes and epic feel, so they literally went nuclear. Roger as a spy, trying to track Soviet nuclear programs since as a toon radiation didn’t really hurt him in more than an amusingly superficial way. Jessica was left unaware, thinking that he worked for ACME Studios on international productions, but then she gets pulled into things. It was kind of looking like True Lies with Toons, to be honest. We kicked around new ideas, and whether we could salvage some aspect of the nuclear idea just to fit with the fifties setting when a new young animator, Kessie Lou Brabant[1], suggested suburbia. “You know,” she said, “like ACME Studios closed its animation wing, so Roger has to take a menial job and he and Jessica move to the suburbs, but face discrimination.” Or something like that. We all went silent and stared and she turned red, but then we all were, like, “yea, brilliant!” She’d go on to do character animation for Roger and Jessica’s kids.

    DM: And this set the tone of the story. It was also where you came in, right, Joe?

    JD: Yep. I was just finishing up A Daffy Movie for Warner and sick to death of the micromanagement, so I called up Tim Burton and asked if he had anything for me. He said “no”, but mentioned that Disney Main was spinning up a Roger Rabbit movie that he thought I’d be perfect for. Given the 1950s nostalgia aspect and the raw toonage and deconstructive plot, I was sold immediately. I worked with Gary to frame out the storyboards to the screenplay, and did some doctoring. The story then wrote itself.

    GT: Yes, it was Joe who added the Stepfords, Tom and Angela Stepford, played by John Turturro and Amy Sedaris. The nosy, fake, and bigoted neighbors who are trying to rally the neighborhood against the Toons, who they fear will lower the property values. (Amy Sedaris impersonation) “I mean, who wants roving storm clouds every time one of them gets sad? Who wants to have an anvil fall through your roof?” (normal) Sorry, Amy, that was terrible.

    DM: The tagline in the trailer is “They’ve faced war. They’ve faced murder. They’ve faced their own erasure. But now they face the ultimate challenge: life in suburbia!” The bathos of the seeming downgrade in threats aside, how seriously did you take the challenges of suburban life, particularly as a repressed minority?

    JD: Deadly serious. We basically took the challenges that an African American family would have faced moving into Levitown in the 1950s and overlayed a Toon veneer. The bathos of the situation drove the humor, but we played it absolutely straight. Amy and John invoked the racist language and mannerisms of their family members growing up to add verity. And we all agreed from the very earliest days to direct this film as though it was an Oscar-bait exploration of race in America. This not only made the bathos that much more prominent, but we refused to give our audience any sort of emotional release valve by winking to the camera. They were going to experience a serious drama on the dangers and cruelty of bigotry and prejudice, but with the ludicrous undercurrent of wacky cartoon antics.

    GT: We quickly agreed that much of what made the earlier Roger Rabbit films work was that they took themselves and the situation seriously. Roger 1 was a serious Film Noir. It even recycled the plot for a Chinatown sequel. Roger 2 was a serious War Drama. Of the two, Roger 1 played better in part because Peter Weir’s real, relatable pathos as Eddie sold the film. Otherwise, it’s just Paul Reubens being wacky for 90 minutes.

    DM: Paul Reubens and Kathleen Turner reprise their roles as the voices of Roger and Jessica, of course, and little changes with them other than the situation they face, but the heart of the story is, of course, their kids, Reggie and Jenny Rabbit, voiced by Michael Imperioli and Christina Hendricks.

    jessica_n_roger_rabbit_s_kids_by_kessielou_d2e6adk-fullview.jpg

    Inspiration for this film (Image by Kessielou on Deviant Art)

    JD: Yes, Reginald Edward “Reggie” Rabbit and Jennifer Dolores “Jenny” Rabbit. She’s sweet, innocent, and vivacious, he’s cynical, jaded, and not really “bad”, just “drawn that way”. Their potential romantic relationships with the human locals only add to the tensions.

    GT: Yeah, in fact the entire plot revolves around Angela Stepford, who is enraged in particular when her daughter Amanda Lee, a disgruntled proto-goth girl played by Jude Barsi, starts hanging out with Reggie. She starts using the fear of “unnatural love” between the humans and Toons to drum up fear and hate against the Rabbit family.

    DM: And Jenny has her own troubled romance, in particular the high school jock Troy, played by Seann William Scott.

    JD: Yes, Troy is just a delightfully manipulative jerk who thinks that Jenny must be “easy like her mother” and is pretending to be a charming boyfriend even as it’s clear he’s just in it for the “pattycake”. She runs away crying when he tries to forcibly make her do pattycake and then he tells malicious stories about her, which Angela spins as more proof of the “poor moral character” of the Toons, basically slut-shaming Jenny, who truly is innocent. This, of course, is contrasted by Reggie, who, though “drawn bad” with Michael really invoking Brando in The Wild One, is a total gentleman, erm, gentle rabbit with Amanda, who is the more aggressively physical in the relationship, and he really makes sure that she’s not just acting out to hurt her mother. Of course, mother sees and misinterprets things, setting off the final showdown…

    DM: …which we won’t discuss here ahead of the release. Now, without spoiling the big confrontational ending, we do see some real contrasts between the Rabbit family’s rather loving and nurturing nature, with really sweet and meaningful father-son and mother-daughter scenes, with the heavy-handed way that the Stepfords treat Amanda, who is angry and lashing out, even getting a tattoo of Bugs Bunny at one point just to anger her parents, who of course blame Reggie rather than themselves.

    GT: Yes (laughs), we ironically had to makeup-over Jude’s own tats while painting on a new one. Of course Roy wanted to know why she couldn’t get a Mickey or Donald tat, and we were, like, “duh”, but Warner went along with it, in part because it felt like a subversive jab at Disney.

    JD: Yeah, and I’ll mention that while we focus almost entirely on the Rabbits, we do get some cameos from Baby Herman and Leena Hyena[2], and the obligatory Disney, Warner, HB, and Universal character cameos. We also have a cameo appearance by Sam & Friends Muppets, including Kermit, Jim using the original “mom’s turquoise coat” version that wasn’t even a frog yet. A lot of younger viewers ask us why Kermit “looks wrong” (laughs).

    DM: But you also load the film to the brim with Groening references, including a picture on the mantle that suggests that the Bunyans are related to the Rabbits.

    GT: (laughs) Yea, we have a lot of Wayward and Bongo fans on the animation team, and given the setting and humor, the comparisons to both The Bunyans and Nuclear Family were unavoidable, so we made them deliberate homages, cleared with Groening, of course. We even recycled the whole nuclear thing from the original Roger the Nuclear Spy story, only now Roger works a humiliating job at the local Simpson Point Nuclear Reactor, scrubbing up the nuclear waste in the reactor chamber since the only apparent effects on him are that he glows green for a few minutes and has to occasionally push a small “mutation”, usually a second mouth or extra arm, back into his skin. He goes through a humiliating “decontamination” sequence before leaving work. We even made a younger Mr. Burns his shift supervisor[3].

    DM: As noted, Roger Rabbit: Bunny in the ‘Burbs deals with some very serious issues, like bigotry, sexual assault, interracial relationships, the environment, child verbal abuse, and the “witch hunt” mindset that can take over a community that feels threatened by the “other”. And yet it is absolutely hilarious. The pure bathos and chaos is in line with the earlier films and TV series. Bathos and irony drive much of it, but good old fashioned cartoon slapstick is prevalent, from Roger’s Rube Goldberg-esque “decontamination” sequence to when an irate Angela literally runs over Roger with her Buick, leaving him a talking pancake[4].

    JD: Of course! You have to have all of the looney chaos and harmless violence! We do have some actual possible serious violence in the climax[5], of course, but for the most part we see Roger and occasionally the rest of the family suffer the occasional strategic anvil strike or whatnot.

    GT: Yes, of course we still wanted that slapstick silliness of a Roger short, but always tinged with the darkness of the deeper story. We start the film with Roger’s “last” animation job with Jessica and Baby Herman before ACME Studios gets shut down, where he’s comedically smashed and bashed, but we then try to layer that against the existential dread of him losing his job and livelihood when “Cartoons just ain’t in no more,” and they have to lay off the Toons. Similarly, Roger getting pulled into the blades of his old-fashioned manual lawnmower and spat out while trying to maintain the Better Homes and Gardens look, which becomes both a symbol of his family’s awkward attempts at assimilation and a nice contrast to what happens in the end[6].

    DM: And a heartwarming end it is, not to reveal too much. Let’s talk about the animation itself. This was not a traditionally hand-drawn and composited affair like in the original Who Framed Roger Rabbit, was it?

    JD: No, it was not. The time and materials cost of the animation can be expensive all by itself, but then you have to effectively run everything through twice on camera to assure eye-lines and the like, but Gary had some ideas for something more innovative.

    GT: Yes, we’d already experimented with using digital puppetry techniques and digital rotoscoping for Lost in La Mancha, but then they’d used some digital puppetry to bring Fin and Marla to life at DisneySea and we wondered if we could use it for Roger Rabbit. We experimented with some test footage using all-digital characters, but it didn’t feel like a Toon anymore. But then we looked at some of the 3D-to-2D Projection technology they’d developed for the combat sequences in War Stories and wondered if that could work.

    DM: So, you used digital puppetry and pantomime rigs to interact with the live actors, used that to animate 3D vector wireframes, and then used the planar-projection techniques to morph it into 2D images reminiscent of hand-drawn animation.

    GT: Basically, yes! It was more complex than that, and we needed to touch up a lot in post using light pens and the DATA and Pixar tech, but yes, basically that.

    JD: One set of takes with the puppeteer on set, trying out different adlibs, and then the animators composite the image on it, much of it already automated! We could print low-res rough cuts on the set as dailies! In a few more years when they are able to have practical digital cameras[7] we’ll be able to hybridize animation with live action as you shoot!

    DM: And when that moment comes, we’ll be sure to talk to you about it! Good luck with your new picture at the box office![8]

    Roger Rabbit: Bunny in the ‘Burbs is now playing in theaters near you.



    [1] Fictional, but named in honor of DeviantArt artist Kessielou, whose art inspired the plot. Hat tip!

    [2] In the third act Troy becomes the target of her obsessive “love” in a turnaround on his sexual predation.

    [3] “Pitiful, Rabbit, just pitiful! That waste should have been properly disposed of in the local lake hours ago!”

    [4] Not a major spoiler, as it plays in the trailer.

    [5] In the conclusion, an irate Angela, driven to madness, comes after Roger and Reggie with a paint sprayer loaded with solvent. Her daughter Amanda takes a spray for them (thankfully wearing goggles!), saving them.

    [6] Obligatory happy ending: The Stepfords are taken away by cops after a literally-insane rampage that physically and emotionally tears apart the perfect neighborhood, sees their carefully manicured façade of Suburban Gentility stripped away, sees 17-year-old Amanda emancipated by a judge, and the rest of the neighbors, feeling guilty, welcoming in the Rabbits and even other toons to the now integrated neighborhood. In the last fast-forward shot, Reggie and Amanda are publicly holding hands, other Toons and some non-white families are moving in with the neighbors greeting them, and even the perfectly-manicured lawns and gardens of the homes on the streets are now full of happy singing cartoon flowers and trees in addition to the organic plants. “Well, that’s one neighborhood integrated!” says Roger cheerfully and sincerely. “Only ninety-four thousand, three hundred and seven to go!!” Reggie sighs and rolls his eyes. “Yep. Full integration any week now I’m sure, pops,” Reggie adds with full irony.

    And yes, the irony of the monochrome casting in an anti-racist narrative will get called out at the time by some, and called out much more in hindsight.

    [7] The first digital camera dates from the 1970s, so the future for digital film production was foreseeable if you knew where to look,

    [8] Will make a solid $182 million against a $75 million budget driven by good reviews and word of mouth.
     
    War Clouds Gathering
  • Chapter 18: Chairman of the Board (Cont’d)
    Excerpt from Jim Henson: Storyteller, an authorized biography by Jay O’Brian


    The ties between the Walt and Roy sides of the family would get their biggest test in the summer of 1998. By this point, Roy’s opposition to the LA Rams buy and Ron and Diane’s open questioning of the NBC merger, soon followed by Stanley Gold’s own agitation on the underperformance of NBC, were reawakening lingering distrust and old acrimonies between the two houses. Diane in particular openly suspected that Gold was “up to something” and openly wondered if he and Roy were planning to use the NBC crisis in some way to gain more control of the company, possibly in league with GE’s Jack Welch, whom she’d never trusted.

    Things had cooled off in December of 1997 after Lilian Bounds Disney suffered a minor stroke. She’d been rushed to the hospital and had been put into surgery and then intensive care. She survived the stroke, but Diane was left trying to help care for her through a challenging recovery. Roy was “there with us the whole way,” Diane and Ron recalled. “He made sure that she had what she needed. Even Stan [Gold] was very supportive.”

    But the peace would be disrupted again in July of 1998 when CFO Richard Nanula approached CEO Stan Kinsey and Jim with reports from Wall Street: Disney share trades had accelerated to over 2 million trades per day. The conclusion was inescapable: someone was taking a position on Disney. But the bigger questions became who, and more importantly, why?

    “They can’t touch us,” Stan Kinsey said. “Between you,” meaning Jim, “the Disneys, Bass, Marriott, GE, and Apple we have more than 60% [of outstanding shares].”

    There was no hope for a straight buyout. Even if one of the existing major shareholders managed to claim all of the roughly 25% of outstanding shares in circulation, none of them, even Jim, would have enough to directly control the company. Conceivably someone could want to greenmail them. Or perhaps someone was “trying Jim’s trick” as Kinsey called it, and was seeking a seat on the board for unknown reasons. This last option seemed the most likely for the “who”, though it didn’t exactly answer the “why”.

    They immediately called up the board and reported on their findings. Every member of the board, including advisory and emeritus members, expressed surprise and confusion at the announcement. As a precautionary measure, Jim urged the board to support a stock buyback program to improve their position. He’d already secured a large line of credit for the company, and one for himself.

    Almost immediately Diane turned her suspicions to Roy and Stanley. “He’s taking a bigger stake, I’m sure of it,” she told her financial advisor after the meeting. Hypothetically, she said, Roy might be working with GE, or perhaps Marriott or Bass. GE seemed the most likely to her and the advisor, as between Roy’s just-over 13% and GE’s just-over 10% they’d be within striking distance with the remaining 25%, or perhaps over if Bass or Marriott were on board.

    Roy, meanwhile, claimed to be as confused as anyone as to what was going on. Stanley later told him that he suspected that “Ron might be making a play,” assuming a scenario much like Diane’s, but in reverse, but said that he lacked evidence.

    Jim got the board to unanimously support the buyback and then went further, openly stating his intention to start buying shares himself. He openly encouraged all of the board members to do likewise and promised to make his transactions open to the board members. Roy agreed to do the same, surprising Diane, who also pledged to individually join the “open acquisition”. Other associate directors like Steve Jobs, who was back on top of Apple, agreed to support the plan, as did George Lucas and Steven Spielberg. Bass reported his own personal internal financial issues, in particular some margin calls on some of his green technology acquisitions, and pledged they would have his “moral, but unfortunately not material support”. Marriott and GE both declined to join the buy-up themselves, but pledged continued support for the board and the executive management.

    Jim had correctly guessed that the Disneys might suspect one another, and his advisor Al Gottesman had come to similar conclusions that one of the Disneys might be making a play, perhaps with GE, or that GE itself might be strengthening its position for further leverage, their disappointment over NBC’s performance being well known. But knowing the Disneys as well as he did at this point, Jim had devised the “open personal buys” strategy in part to help allay their mutual suspicions. “Everyone can work this right out in the open,” he told Al. “Nobody needs to suspect their neighbor.”

    Alas the mutual open buys did not allay suspicions, as both sides of the Disney family still wondered if the other was secretly buying stocks on the side in addition to the ones that they were buying in the open. The open buys also didn’t allay suspicions that the “other” might be in league with the “unknown buyer”. Given these possibilities, the suspicions remained and each made an overt effort to “keep pace” with the other on their stock buys just in case.

    Further complicating matters was that Retlaw had recently assumed several million dollars in debt over the Rams deal. As such, Miller was left with little choice but to sell off some of his stake in the Rams to fund the Disney investment, ultimately selling 10% of Retlaw’s stake via public offering to the Ram Fans Trust, giving them a 20% stake and leaving him with a residual 15% stake. The move ended up requiring the permission of the NFL, who were largely uncomfortable with expanding public ownership, however indirectly, relenting only after the threat of prolonged legal action that could have devastating long-term consequences if the NFL was found in violation of the Sherman Act. Stanley Gold saw this move, specifically Retlaw selling Rams shares in a virtual public offering at a notable profit (the valuation of the Rams had increased over 65% since the deal was signed) and using the largesse to buy a bigger stake in Disney itself, as beyond suspicious. To Gold, this was possibly “the plan all along,” using the Rams as a short-term investment in order to fund grabbing a controlling stake in Disney and shut out Roy, though even the naturally suspicious Gold had to admit that such a plan would require either a shocking degree of prescience or an insane level of risk-taking.

    But then Stanley Gold even came up with another scenario. What if it was Jim Henson himself making the play? Hadn’t he been using his stock options prodigiously from the start, never selling, always accumulating? As the largest individual shareholder, the stock buybacks, once proportionally allocated, would predominantly go to him. Stanley’s early suspicions about Jim’s goals from back when he’d first joined the board in 1980 came right back up to the surface. He advised Roy to stay alert. “Either Jim and Ron are your friends here, or they’re your enemies,” he told Roy. “Keep them close either way.”

    One thing was certain: Disney was once again “in play”, though by whom or for what reasons none seemed able to say.

    Either way, “Chairman Jim” told the board that he would “be ready for whatever [came] next.”
     
    To Shemp for a God
  • Chapter 10: Shemping for Gods
    Excerpt from All You Need is a Chin: Confessions of a B-Movie Actor by Bruce Campbell


    So for most of 1998 I basically lived in New Zealand. When I wasn’t filming Lysia or Telemachus, I was Shemping as Thor or Loki or whatever Norse God du jour as the New Zealand Alps stood in for the mountains of Norway or Asgard. Sam was filming parts of The Mighty Thor there (when he wasn’t in Norway or Minnesota) and I practically got frostbite tromping through the snow wearing a fur cloak that was more for show than actual protection from the elements. And I was loving every minute[1].

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    The Warriors Three (Image source Comic Vine)

    I even got to play the supporting part of Fandral the Dashing alongside my old friend “Professor” Toru Tanaka as Hogun the Grim and Mark Addy as Volstagg the Valiant. The three of us mostly played supporting bit parts as the, um, “Warriors Three”, fighting alongside Thor in the flashback scenes and the big final battle, sort of a Three Stooges as Warriors, only with serious violent action rather than slapstick. We didn’t play much of a part in the story, other than one part where I tried to talk Thor out of attacking the Rock Trolls, and a lot of our best footage in my mind got cut for time. We ad-libbed many of our lines and came up with some crazy fight choreography just to stand out in the background, though, so despite our limited screen time, we gained a fan following. This got us more screen time in Thor 2 in 2001 and eventually got us our own TV series in the 2000s, The Warriors Three, all in the semi-campy, semi-serious tone of Lysia.

    This also meant getting to work alongside some of the big screen’s biggest actors, like Michael Cane, Ian McShane, Samuel Jackson, and of course Brad Pitt, some of whom I got to Shemp for. I also got to work with Daniel Craig, who had his big break as Donald Blake, and of course David Tenet of Dr. Who fame, who played the villainous Loki, and proved as fun behind the scenes as he did on screen. It was also a blast seeing the various other actors that played Loki in disguise doing their best to imitate David’s mannerisms and mischievous grin, especially you-know-who with the big reveal moment.

    But that’s enough name-dropping, what about the juicy behind-the-scenes stuff? That’s what you nerds are here for, right?

    First off, our release date got bumped up. We were supposed to be the late summer film following Ron Howard’s Captain America, but then some genius in marketing realized that July 4th fell on a Sunday in 1999, and that July 4th Weekend was perfect for dropping Captain America. So we got pushed up to May and I had to do several days of Shemp Shots with Ted to make up for the time lost. How’s that for a behind-the-scenes?

    Also, Doug Jones did what we’d now call Digital Acting, though it was pretty early in the game back then. He wore the “suit of ping pong balls” and stood in for Ulik, King of the the Rock Trolls and principal antagonist, and wore the latex suit for close-ups and the like. Jones was also playing Elric on the Stormbringer pilot, which was also filming at the time, thankfully also largely shot on location in New Zealand, and he had been doing some guest spots on Lysia and Telemachus, so he and I had a few laughs behind the scenes. He told me, being a rather devout Christian, that playing a Rock Troll in a Pagan Gods story and a servant of a Satanic god in Stormbringer was a bit of a challenge of faith, but that following some long talks with the writers and his minister he was starting to see the value and, well, Values in the stories. My advice was simpler: “It’s fiction, Doug. I doubt that anyone’s going to start worshiping the Aesir because of Sam Raimi or Arioch because of Tim Burton.”

    Not my best advice, but I am an ordained minister, after all[2]. That fact alone seemed to help him.

    Hey, I did my Good Works for the day, what’s your problem?

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    Fandril vs. Ulik (Image source Pintrest)

    Ulik was a largely digital creation, kind of like Moog and Ba Ba, but generally better loved. Animation voice guy Frank Welker ultimately did the voice since Sam didn’t want to do the “special guest actors” schtick. In fact, the only reason he took on Brad Pitt was because he’d already worked with him producing Wonder Woman and found out that Brad was a comics fan. Brad was as pissed off as any of us over how Warner treated Sam.

    Sadly, we all ended up reuniting with a lot of the cast and crew of the DC films for Robert Downey Jr.’s funeral. It was like we’d actually lost Superman in real life! I was there, having worked with him on Superman, of course. Such a damned loss. Robert had finally cleaned up and was on the straight and narrow, and those yellow press jackals that tried to insinuate a Hollywood coverup[3] can eat one. Brad threatened to stick Mjolnir where the sun don’t shine if he ever saw David Pecker in person.

    In happier news, Sam was able to recycle some of his ideas for Darkseid into the Marvel Movie Universe. Justice League completely wasted DS, and Sam was livid. He had this whole crazy idea that Darkseid and his people were actually fleeing the Anti-Monitor, who destroyed Apokolips – you know, basically the classic “invading refugees” thing. Their aim was to use the Mother Boxes to terraform Earth into a more suitable home for them, with the intsy-wintsy little side-problem that this would wipe out most life on Earth, to include humanity. But hey, not DS’s problem, right? Naturally some of that got recycled into the Galactus plot, but I get ahead of myself.

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    Image apropos of nothing (image source BraveAndBoldLost Blogspot)

    So, anyway, the workout to play Fandral, not to mention stand in for Brad, was serious. We’d all get up at 4 am to hit the gym. I was spending hours every day in the gym or on the track with Brad and Toru, eating a ludicrously strict diet, and learning to really appreciate what the muscleheads have to do to look the way that they do. By week seven I would have thrown Sam off the mountain for a handful of French fries! Few people appreciate how much work goes in to looking buff for you nerds. I’d never worked harder before or since, but soon enough I had actual serious pecs and abs and my wife Ida was loving it, so, hey, hard work has its benefits.

    She was less amused by my attempts to grow the pencil thin mustache and goatee to play Fandral. “You look like a pimp, Bruce.”

    I ended up shaving and just having them put it on in makeup. The glue did not hold up in the cold mountain air. There’s a whole gag reel of my beards and mustaches falling off.

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    Mount Cook in New Zealand (Image source Oh Fact!)

    And all said, the experience was a good one. Ida fell in love with New Zealand, and we even bought a home there. If World War 3 starts I know where I’m going. The work hours were long, but the set was a blast. Even the mountain shots, fighting frostbite and perpetually out of breath, were incredible. Helicopter rides through gorgeous Alpine wonderlands every day. I never realized that glaciers were so amazing in real life. I mean, they’re just ice, right? Speaking of ice, we had to shelter from a sudden ice storm one day, which wasn’t fun, but we made it through with no casualties other than Sam’s Coke can, which exploded in the cold, resulting in a fantastical Cokecicle. Every day an adventure.

    Seriously, Brad can keep all of the stresses and strains of trying to maintain a career as an A-lister. I’ll take a week of Shemping in the Southern Alps, and a double-helping of French fries when the shoot wraps.



    [1] Aesir helmet tip to by @Plateosaurus, @Nathanoraptor and Mr. Harris Syed for the casting and behind the scenes of The Mighty Thor. Dedicated guest post coming in 1999.

    [2] True!! He has officiated weddings, including a “zombie wedding”. No idea what denomination or even religion.

    [3] Downey’s family will launch a libel lawsuit against the National Enquirer and other tabloid rags for spreading rumors that RDJ was using again and had been intoxicated when the fatal crash happened. They ended up settling out of court for an undisclosed amount and running a retraction and apology.
     
    An Overstuffed Thanksgiving Movie Day Feast
  • New York Times Short Movie Reviews, 1998

    A Study in Damaged People


    Bond is back, and this time he travels to the United States to take down a deadly diamond smuggling ring in Diamonds are Forever. Continuing on with Ralph Fiennes as the “New Old” Bond of the novels, the film itself is less an empty action-adventure (though action does abound, in particular the exciting railway chase in Spectreville) than an exploration of the nature of trauma, both for Bond and his new “Bond girl”, the cunning and seductive Tiffany Case, played by ingénue Christina Hendricks. And Hendricks’ Case proves a formidable match for Fiennes’ Bond, making for a complex and nuanced Bond Girl a cut above the norm and demonstrating that Hendricks herself is capable of far more than just evoking Dolly Parton[1]. Hendricks’ Case shows an understandable misandry and a suspicious nature as a rape survivor that makes her femme fatal underpinnings all the more justified, elevating the cliched old Film Noir trope for the modern era of third wave feminism[2] (and is a far cry from the vacuous and objectified 1971 interpretation by Jill St. John, though the fault there was in the writing and direction). Hendricks also demonstrates that she has serious action chops, proving every bit the fighter as she kicks prodigious butt.

    Fiennes and Hendricks are joined by Pete Postlethwaite as M and James Spader as Felix Leitner (now a private detective for Pinkerton’s with a hook hand and prosthetic leg following his alligator attack in the prior film), returning as Bond’s erstwhile allies. It also features Charles Levin and James Woods as the villainous Jack and Seraffimo Spang, leaders of the Spangled Mob, and introduces Guillermo Díaz and John Benjamin Hickey as the murderous hit men Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd, who, per the original novel, are shown as objectively homosexual[3], rather than just gay-coded like in the 1971 film (they even share the Bond films’ first same-sex kiss!).

    And the story itself, which tracks closely to the original 1956 Fleming novel, sees Bond and Case working together to take down the Spangled Mob’s diamond smuggling ring in a twisting narrative that explores the deadly legacy of colonialism and “blood diamonds” with shocking verity. So anyone expecting to see diamonds literally weaponized by Blofeld into space lasers ala the 1971 Connery film (which was already demonstrating the Moore-era shift to camp) will be sorely disappointed. But for those like me who favor this more layered and naturalistic return to the Bond of the Fleming novels, it is, quite possibly, the best of the “new old” Bond films to date and a far deeper and more nuanced story than one might normally associate with 007 had one only seen the movies. Even the theme, a cover of the 1971 Shirley Bassey song by Lara Whitehall, is layered with pathos and sensuality. This is Bond Elevated to Art, while still retaining everything that makes Bond, well, Bond.

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    Diamonds are Forever, Rated T for action, violence, adult language, and adult situations, ⭐⭐⭐½


    The Musical, Tejano Style

    Tejano music superstar Selena makes her film debut in this personal, nearly autobiographical semi-musical tale of Tejano culture and politics. Co-starring her brother A. B. Quintanilla and introducing model and fellow Tejano Eva Longoria as her friend Maria (who gives a surprisingly nuanced performance), the film digs deep into the US Tejano population, Mexican American Texans who trace their ancestry to before the US annexed Texas (the name comes from the Tejano saying “we didn’t cross the border, the border crossed us”). What results is an emotionally resonant tale of race, family, friendship, and the struggles of modern life.

    Crossed by the Border; rated T for profanity, substance use, and sexual content, ⭐⭐⭐


    A Star Trek Holy War

    Star Trek: The Next Generation first introduced us to the Bajorans, a rebellious people who fought a successful war of independence against the authoritarian Cardassians. Envoy added further to their story, introducing concepts of an internal battle between pro-Federation secularists and biggoted xenophobic fundamentalists in a plot that feels pulled from the civil war in Afghanistan. And in a plot that’s further pulled from the headlines, an attack on Federation transports, apparently by terrorists being sheltered by the fundamentalist wing of the Bajorans, has pulled Captain Shelby (Elizabeth Dennehy) and the crew of the Hézuò into the fight between secular “Speaker” Kira Nerys (Nana Visitor) and fundamentalist “Vedek” Winn Adami (Louise Fletcher). What unfolds in Star Trek: Defiance is a twisting spy thriller with double crosses, secret pacts, and untrustworthy allies, like a Film Noir in space. And somewhere on the fringes, the Cardassians are watching, and involved in ways that the crew of the Hézuò must solve before a near-litteral form of Hell is released upon the quadrant.

    While not the best executed film (it is too stuck in the “Trek” formula and risk-adverse to achieve true greatness), it is sure to find a receptive audience among the “Trekkers”. And if Star Trek: Defiance feels in many ways like an extended episode of “VOY”, the high production values and exciting action should be enough to draw in casual viewers as well. This is the first movie featuring the “VOY” crew (though “TNG” stars do make brief appearances), but if this good (but not great) outing is any indication then it hopefully won’t be the last.

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    Not this…

    Star Trek: Defiance, Rated T for action, adult language, and adult situations, ⭐⭐⭐



    Child’s Play, Darkly

    It was a long time coming, but writer Orson Scot Card’s classic Sci-fi novel Ender’s Game has reached the Big Screen. After rejecting numerous overtures (he once deemed his novel “unfilmable”), Card’s new Fresco Pictures teamed with Fantasia Films and director Caroline Thompson to bring the story to life after a discussion with Disney Chairman Jim Henson, who reportedly loved the novel’s anti-war themes. Starring Haley Joel Osment as the titular Ender, the film looks at the morality of war play and the militarization of childhood along with explorations of genocide and other very adult topics. And while Thompson’s direction is good, with swooping visuals that highlight the ways in which Ender uses a sense of perspective to gain tactical advantage, and Osment’s acting holds a level of maturity and subtlety that is amazing for anyone, none the less a child actor, the truth is that Card may have been right about the unfilmability of his most popular creation. Thompson and Osment worked hard with subjective camera and occasional narration to convey Ender’s inner challenges, but still, much of it is lost, resulting in a film that’s plot and action heavy, but lacks the soul of the book, even as it does well addressing its themes.

    Still, this film is visually interesting, with Thompson using some of the cinematic tricks that she developed for Tank Girl to great effect. The action and emotion are well-integrated. The computer effects, both for the actual battle scenes and the “simulations”, are superb. Tommy Lee Jones excels as Colonel Hyrum Graff, the leader of the “Battle School”, Temuera Morrison gives a nuanced performance as Mazer Rackham, and Hayden Panettiere shows real talent as Ender’s sister Valentine, the near-literal heart of the show. And if the whole can’t manage to come together, then the parts still sum up to a reasonably good take on a classic story.[4]

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    Ender’s Game, Rated T for violence, adult situations, mild profanity, and adult themes; ⭐⭐½


    Eugenics Noir

    The Skeleton Crew’s Andy and Larry Wachowski last gave us the lesbian noir thriller Bound. This time, for Transhuman, they have a much bigger scope and a much bigger budget, and tackle much bigger issues: eugenics, discrimination, and systemic inequity. It’s the not-too-distant future and advances in genetic engineering have created a stratified social hierarchy where the “haves” can enhance (and thus advance) their children using genetic engineering, mostly via the technology of the nefarious Gattaca Corporation. Meanwhile, the have-nots fall further and further behind in an ever-widening social gap. It’s a dystopian future, full of high-placed and genetically enhanced “Valid” elites in towering skyscrapers and low-placed “In-Valid” peasants of natural birth in crowded gothic slums. A contrasting, bipolar world of aristocratic hedonism vs. struggling desperation. And Vincent Freeman (River Phoenix), an In-Valid who is impersonating a famous Valid, is getting a front row seat to this inequity and ultimately fighting to overthrow it.

    Full of contrasting noir-inspired cinematography, Gilliam-esque visuals, and an Orwellian plot, Transhuman asks what it means to be human and what it means to be special. The action scenes are a mix of stylized practiced perfection and gravity-defying harness work for the Valids that contrast with the brutal pragmatism of the In-Valids, giving brilliant visual storytelling via action scene enhanced through innovative use of dolly work reminiscent of Tank Girl. Cheryl Henson’s costumes deserve special mention for their slick futurism that’s one part Hugo Boss and one part bondage gear. Don Davis’ electro-industrial score stands out compared to the typical Williams-esque classical scores and pop music needle drops. And the quiet, stoic, almost emotionlessness of the dialog exchanges manages to evoke both the uncanny and the film’s obvious Noir influences. With brilliantly subtle acting by Phoenix and excellent direction and cinematography, the one thing that holds this film back is some awkwardness with the pacing and dialog. Still, as a dark, dystopian sci-fi Noir in the vein of The Bureau and Blade Runner, Transhuman is a film that is both meaningful and exciting and worth a look[5].

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    This by the Wachowskis

    Transhuman, Rated R for violence, nudity, sexuality, profanity, and adult situations, ⭐⭐⭐½


    Otherworldly Noir

    Film Noir is all about The City. And the titular Dark City is a twisting, unhinged distillation of the very concept of The City: a sprawling place of winding roads and alleyways that lead nowhere and everywhere where dark plots abound and crime is omnipresent and no one, possibly not even yourself, is to be trusted. Director Alex Proyas partners with David Lynch, the Skeleton Crew, and Columbia Pictures to bring us this dark tale of detective John Murdoch (Kiefer Sutherland), who, facing a seemingly impossible to solve murder mystery, sees reality dissolving around him…or is it his sanity? Stylistically, Dark City is terrifying and mesmerizing, a world of blacks, greys, and greens like the combination of a Borg Cube, a Bondage club, Hellraiser’s underworld, and the streets of Casablanca. The mysterious Strangers may be agents, or mutants, or aliens, or even Gods. Or perhaps they are just hallucinations? Like an extended allegory of time, perception, lucidity, and identity, Dark City is more of an experience than a movie, but the dark vision and frenetic Otherworldly Horror aspects allow it to connect to audiences despite its Lynchian nature. With clear influences like Ronnie Rocket and The Bureau, Dark City is a twisting and Kafkaesque Film Noir meets Otherworldly Horror sure to catch the attention of viewers and critics alike[6].

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    Dark City, Rated R for violence, profanity, horror tropes, disturbing scenes, and sexuality; ⭐⭐⭐


    A Bloody Road Trip

    Quentin Tarantino has gained a reputation as an auteur of a different sort, a man whose vision is so dark, so twisted, and so non-linear that he elevates the shocking nature of his violent and obscene visuals and dialog into something profound. Aimless Drifters, starring Steve Buscemi and Peter Stormare “reprising” their roles as small-fry hit men and petty crooks Carl Showalter and Gaear Grimsrud, continues in this tradition while also expanding Tarantino’s “universe” to seemingly include the worlds of the Cohen Brothers and others. Set vaguely before the events of 1996’s Brainard, Showalter and Grimsrud are travelling across the US, Canada, and Mexico committing petty crimes and taking jobs making small hits. Among these jobs is being hired by LA gangster Da’ Phat Man (Biggie Smalls) to take out a small-time rapper, played by Tupac Shakur, and recover a “demo tape”. They succeed in shooting the rapper, but he gets away with the tape. Those who saw the Cohen’s The Buddha of the Sunset Strip will recognize the set-up to that film’s mystery, and indeed the two crooks will have a brief run-in with John Goodman’s Walter and John Candy’s Danny from that film.

    But much of the film involves them working their way north towards the Dakotas and “a gig in Brainard”, which most will recognize as the setup for that film. Along the way, they kidnap a teenager, cross paths with Vic Vega, buy guns from Rodriguez’s El Mariachi, get in a run-in with some of the characters from Sam Raimi’s Relentless (hinting at those all being in the shared universe), and other misadventures, all played for dark humor. The timeline and setting are rather vague as are the perceptions of the two main characters. The plot is non-linear and its unclear if it’s in Tarantino’s “real” or “fictional” world. Mixing cinema verité tropes with nonlinear, subjective cinematography in that “Tarantinoesque” way that is uniquely his, Aimless Drifters is a strange and metatextual film, even as it continues to shock with its brutal and casual violence and offensive language. Numerous classic rock, C&W, and hip-hop needle drops further frame the narrative, with questionable diegesis. It is also a surprisingly fun road trip film, like Hope and Crosby with bloody violence and F-bombs.

    In general, fans of Tarantino and the Cohens and Raimis will find much to love in this brutal dark comedy.

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    “On the Road Again…” (Image source Reddit)

    Aimless Drifters, Rated R for extreme violence, profanity, substance use, and adult themes, ⭐⭐⭐


    Apollo and Dionysus

    The Apollonian clashes with the Dionysian in Alan Pakula’s production[7] of Donna Tartt’s hit novel The Secret History. Following young Richard Papen (Tobey Maguire) as he tries to worm his way into a clique of elite students under the revered professor Julian Morrow (Tim Robbins), Papen is soon pulled into a murder mystery. The story follows the twisting narrative of the book, delving into issues of desire, social relations, lust, greed, expectation, and regret. Directed by Scott Hicks, the film explores the ways in which our animal nature often clashes with our “human” organization and culture.

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    The Secret History, Rated R for violence, nudity, substance abuse, profanity, and adult themes, ⭐⭐⭐½


    A Simple Little Tale of Love and Horses
    Guest post by one Mr. Harris and @Plateosaurus


    Silver screen legend Robert Redford is back in the director’s chair again in his new Western drama The Horse Whisperer, based on the 1995 novel of the same name by British author Nicholas Evans. The film comes only a few years after the successful triple punch of Trinity, Quiz Show, and An Affair of State, the latter having Redford as not just director and producer but the lead actor in the role of American President Alan Shepherd[8]. Much like his previous film, Redford directs and plays the main character, Tom Booker, the titular horse whisperer of the story who takes in an injured, amputated young girl from New York City named Grace MacLean (Scarlett Johansson)[9] to his Montana ranch to slowly nurse her back to health and live with his family (Dianne West, Hunter Johansson[10] and Chris Cooper) after getting herself in a horse-riding incident gone wrong which killed her best friend Judith (Kate Bosworth in her acting debut). Meanwhile, Grace’s newspaper editor mother Annie Graves-MacLean[11] (Kristin Scott Thomas) begins a romantic affair with him unbeknownst to her husband Robert MacLean (Sam Neill) which will have serious repercussions for the MacLeans and the Bookers[12].

    The film’s greatest strengths are Redford’s direction (especially the gorgeous cinematography) and performance as a fatherly horse whisperer to the young Grace who is played brilliantly by Johansson. That’s not to say that The Horse Whisperer has other merits that aren’t worth mentioning, there’s a beautiful, stunning score by composer Thomas Newman and the performances of the supporting cast (particularly Kristin and Neill) are not so bad. However, some may feel rather bored with the scenes between Tom, Grace and Annie, especially the rather melodramatic affair subplot which solely exists to create some sort of conflict for the film.

    That said, for anyone interested in horses, picturesque movies or Robert Redford, The Horse Whisperer is simply the movie for you.

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    Even in alternate history timelines, some things (mostly) never change

    The Horse Whisperer, rated T for a disturbing accident scene, ⭐⭐⭐


    A Haunting, Socially Relevant Tragicomedy
    Guest post by @Plateosaurus and one Mr. Harris


    On the airwaves, the reality show is starting to rise in prominence, which despite its name, has its fair share of editing until it’s practically a blurred, distorted fiction that warps the perception of the world. This only serves to make The Headliner seem all the more prescient as a bleakly tragicomic satire of reality shows and escapism from Scarface director Brian De Palma and his vision of the near-futuristic world of 2007. Lead actor and seasoned comedic veteran Robin Williams stars as Malcolm Burbank, a seemingly ordinary insurance salesman with a loving wife, who is unaware his whole life in his seemingly perfect Long Island town of Sullivan Shores is really a hugely popular reality show supposedly celebrating the common man, known simply as The Malcolm Show[13]. One day, a series of production mishaps make him start to question his reality, Malcolm eventually discovers the truth for himself and tries to leave his reality show life against the wishes of the producers.

    Williams shines here as a man whose entire life has been revealed to be a huge lie, shattering his optimistic persona, but you would be remiss not to mention the other actors. Dennis Hopper[14] is absolutely chilling as the abusive director Christof, a man that wants control of every aspect of Malcolm’s life, an egoist with delusions of godhood trying to create a perfect world for one man at the expense of his human rights. Phoebe Cates is phenomenal as Malcolm’s college friend Sylvia aka Lauren Garland[15]. The technical and story sides are also impressive: Malcolm’s town may seem normal, but it only take little observing to see its twisted, caricatural nature behind the facade of a good-natured reality show: everything is overly perfect and symmetrical, but ends up in the uncanny valley, and many of the cinematography is provided from in-universe cameras that are hidden everywhere. Speaking of the cinematography, it bounces between hidden cameras and sitcom-aping multi-cams that highlight the metatextuality. Meanwhile, the tone of the film all but castigates both the entertainment industry and the audience themselves for wanting to violate a human being’s rights and privacy for their own amusement, as exemplified in a scene where Malcolm angrily berates all the people watching him while they’re watching. The story of the film itself is fantastic from its seemingly innocuous beginnings to the shocking final scene, which will be a source of much discussion for years to come, and is all around a twisting labyrinth that will leave the audience confused as to what truly happened[16].

    Simply put, The Headliner is as much a brilliant piece of satire as it is a warning of what reality TV could lead to. The Headliner is a movie that won’t go unmissed and proves to us again that Robin Williams is one of the greatest actors of the 20th century[17].

    The Headliner, rated T for some violence, profanity and sexual innuendos, ⭐⭐⭐⭐


    A Mean-Spirited Home Alone Knockoff
    Guest review by @Plateosaurus and Mr. Syed


    Ever since Home Alone came to theatres at the start of the decade, practically every studio has moved to create their own wacky movies that the whole family can enjoy. Some of these efforts were admirable if not surprisingly good like Fox’s Wicked Stepfather, but Universal’s Lady of the House is not one of them.

    The film focuses on three middle-class kids on family vacation in the Rockies, the oldest being a girl named Claire Redding (Mara Wilson), an 11-year-old who’s a real control freak and angry that her father Norman (Jon Lovitz) spends more time with her siblings (Sarah Hyland and Haley Joel Osment) because they’re more successful at school (and way more nice) than her. When she is tasked by her father with watching over them at the rental house, she couldn’t be happier, but both are unaware that bumbling bandits Richard Coyne, Robby Yuma, and Alphonse Straight (Michael Keaton, Chevy Chase, and David Alan Grier) are committing a series of thefts in the area and stumble upon the Redding’s vacation house. Unbeknownst to the burglars, Claire will prove to be far smarter and pull off some stuff that will bring massive pain to them.

    Right from the basic description of the plot, the film isn’t trying to be ground-breaking and it wallows in the very fact that it’s a typical Home Alone clone, with the slapstick pratfalls you expect that occasionally dip into funniness but never for long. Unfortunately, what could have been an okay but unremarkable film is brought down by its lead: Claire is perhaps the most unlikable child protagonist you'll ever see, yelling and demanding at her siblings and father to do what she wants and wanting everything to go her way, and generally caring more about her own livelihood and desires. The film does attempt to redeem Claire via a backstory about a deceased mother she misses, and she eventually does realize all this is no way to treat family and apologizes by the end, but it’s not very done well, so it all fall flat and if anything makes her less sympathetic and makes no sense given that she still doesn’t face any comeuppance for her brattiness and arrogance, not to mention the film’s attempts to be self-aware about end up seemingly mocking kids by insinuating this what they probably are and want to be.

    There are plenty of good movies for the whole family and Lady of the House is simply not worth ayone’s time or money or your kids’ time.[18]

    Lady of the House, rated PG for some dangerous situations, mild profanity and violence, ⭐ ½


    A High-Brow Creature Feature
    Guest Post by @Plateosaurus


    Most of us have always been fascinated by cryptozoological monsters, even if they supposedly exist only in folklore and our minds. Occasionally, some of us try and venture out to seek them out for ourselves, but only a few throw out a lot of cash in the hopes of doing so. Enter the late Tom Slick Jr., an eccentric Texas oil baron and would-be cryptozoologist who has become the subject of the oddball biopic Tom Slick: Monster Hunter[19] from director John Sayles, 20th Century Studios and Nicolas Cage’s Saturn Entertainment.

    On one side, it enthusiastically homages monster and adventure movies of the time through both sweeping scope, cinematography, and score[20], and Cage provides a excellently larger than life portrayal of the titular character as he travels from the Himalayas to the forests of California in search of cryptids ranging from the famous Yeti and Nessie to the obscure Trinity Alps Salamander, and provides plenty of thrills even without the monsters appearing or even being revealed to be real[21]. On the other side, the film's quieter moments (and even some of the more bombastic ones) show it’s at heart a thoughtful exploration of what drives us to believe in and seek out the paranormal, as it suggests his search for cryptids are linked to his troubled relations with his family and father (Chris Cooper) when Slick was young. Interestingly, one could argue the dynamic is as much about Sayles’ career, having made both his fair share of both stylized creature features in the ‘70s and ‘80s and down to earth dramas in recent years, and it could be seen as an exploration of his switch to such and whether these kinds of movies can live together.

    A few flaws like feeling like a hand-me-down Skeleton Crew production aside, those interested in the paranormal, monsters, and history, Tom Slick: Monster Hunter is well-recommended[22].

    51Hh0ikkGmL._AC_SY780_.jpg

    This as a feature-length film

    Tom Slick: Monster Hunter, rated R for profanity, smoking and drug use, and adult situations, ⭐⭐⭐ ½


    Quoth the Raven, “Please, Some More!”
    Guest Post by @Nerdman3000


    When you hear the name Edgar Allan Poe, do you think of Sylvester Stallone? Well, I certainly can admit to never picturing Stallone ever directing an Edgar Allan Poe biopic[23], but here we are, and surprisingly enough it’s actually quite good! Starring Johnny Depp as the famed horror writer in question, this gloomy, but no less riveting biopic on the life of Poe may just be the biggest surprise film of the year. Focusing primarily on the mystery of his death, which is in turn interspersed with the details of his life, Stallone’s fantastic direction presents the tragic tale of a tragic man in his final tragic days, one which will leave certainly leave viewers with a newfound appreciation for Poe and his works. When combined with its riveting, but no less heartbreaking score by Howard Shore, it’s unsurprising that this Universal film, produced in partnership with Skeleton Crew Productions[24], has been getting so much positive attention lately by viewers and critics alike. Be warned, though; I’d very strongly suggest you bring a box of tissues with you to the theater if you plan to see the film, as you'll definitely be needing them.

    depp021412.jpg

    Johnny Depp as Edgar Allan Poe. (Source: Shelf Awareness)

    Poe, Rated T for violence, profanity, substance use, and adult situations; ⭐⭐⭐


    Small Town Mysteries
    Guest review by @MNM041 with assistance from Mr. Harris Syed


    David Fincher brings his twisted sensibilities to Buried Secrets, a new mystery film from Hollywood Pictures that's loosely inspired by the 1981 murder of Ken Rex McElroy[25]. The film focuses on Henry Creedlow (Chris Cornell) and Brian Becker (Freddie Prinze Jr.)[26], a pair of police detectives from Minneapolis who are sent to investigate a shooting in the Minnesota town of Nekoma where seemingly everyone was a witness to but no one can name the shooter. As the two detectives probe further into the case, the two learn that just about everyone had a reason to kill him, and learn that some things should just stay buried.

    Fincher has a talent for bringing great performances from his casts and this film is no exception. Cornell does a fantastic job for his film debut, playing a jaded cynical detective and Prinze Jr. surprisingly holds his own playing the more idealistic of the two detectives. Despite never working together before, the two of them work off each other surprisingly well, and they're sided by the equally stellar supporting cast with some surprising names showing up and giving Oscar-worthy performances, including Michael Madsen as county sheriff Bill Dunn, Joseph Gordon-Levitt as high school student Rick Greenberg, Michelle Williams as Bill’s daughter Rachael Dunn[27], Josh Hartnett as Bill’s son Franklin Dunn, Lana Clarkson as officer Gloria Solverson, Randy Quaid as Nekoma mayor Steven Hicks, Heather Langenkamp as reporter Kim Wexler, Keith David as diner owner Carl Braxton, Mathilda May as exotic dancer Heather Holloway, Jim Varney[28] as Vietnam War veteran turned plumber Greg Irons, Clancy Brown as Reverend Martin Odet, DeLanna Studi as the cheery Sioux girl Danielle Chaska, Gary Farmer as her father, Arnold Chaska, Robert Englund as Kim’s farmer husband William Wexler, and last but definitely not the least Ed O’Neill as the nasty, corrupt businessman and murder “victim” Terrence Almont[29].

    Surrounding these great performances throughout an eerie and often uncomfortable 90-minute runtime as the two detectives discover more and more about the victim, Terrance Almont and the various people who could be responsible for his death, culminating in a heartbreaking final act. The film will certainly have audiences on the edge of their seats the entire way through, all while posing interesting questions about the nature of vigilantism and whether one should ever take justice into their own hands with an ending that will leave you asking who killed Terrence Almont and more importantly, should we care. While admittedly not groundbreaking in its themes, the film manages to tell a fascinating story supported by fantastic performances, good direction and a great screenplay which make this film something that fans of neo-noir and detective thrillers will enjoy for years to come[30].

    Buried Secrets, rated R for violence, profanity and brief nudity, ⭐⭐⭐⭐


    Reaching for the Stars
    Guest review by @Plateosaurus with assistance from @MNM041 and Mr. Harris Syed


    Directed by Mary Lambert, Major Tomboy[31] is not a horror movie like Pet Cemetery, despite occasionally looking like one, but rather a superhero family romp from Trimark about Claire Saltzman (Mary-Kate Olsen) a comics-loving girl who contends with being mocked and bullied for her geeky interests. Her life changes drastically after she befriends an alien artificial intelligence which permits her to wear its cyber-suit, granting Claire superpowers. Blessed with super strength and amazing powers, Claire uses it to face not just her bullies undaunted with the help of her science teacher Marty Wilmoult (John Diehl), but also battle a much greater threat in the form of the evil aliens the suit fought against[32].

    As a film, Major Tomboy makes no secret it’s a low-budget sci-fi flick, with rubbery visual effects and cheap CG, unpolished-sounding dialogue, and an oft-barebones and ham-fisted script on show. That said, not only does the film at least try to have fun regardless so the audience can, it does get legitimate mileage out of having a girl as its hero rather than the usual boys, resulting in some decent character development in regards to her adolescent struggles and even touches upon sexism and representation in the nerd community as Claire is constantly mocked and derided by her school’s nerds and even her family insisting girls can’t enjoy superhero comics, even as she stands up for herself. While it’s not a must-see nor is likely to go down as a classic of the genre, Major Tomboy is a perfectly serviceable superhero family movie that is carried by good performances and charming spectacle[33].

    Star_Kid.jpg

    Not quite this

    Major Tomboy, rated PG for some peril, mild language, mild violence and crude references, ⭐⭐½


    Rip And Tear!
    Guest post by @MNM041 with assistance from Mr. Harris Syed and @Plateosaurus


    After a somewhat troubled production involving on set fights and the original lead actor being replaced, 20th Century Studios and Ted Raimi's adaptation of the popular Doom video game franchise has certainly been worth the wait[34]. Following in the footsteps of the recent Mortal Kombat movies, this is a film that is clearly proud of the violent games it bears the name of.

    Starring martial artist and actor Thomas Ian Griffin as the main character of the games, the film can best be described as equal parts Alien and Evil Dead. It sees the Doomguy (here given the name JB Blazkowicz Jr.) as well as a squad of other Marines set to a research facility where they quickly learn that a gateway to Hell has been opened. Now the Marines must battle off the demonic forces to prevent the Earth from falling to the demonic forces.

    Ted Raimi's direction certainly takes a lot of cues from his brother, Sam[35] for this film and it lends itself perfectly to the film's atmosphere, creating a violent and entertaining thrill ride, aided by an enjoyable cast of characters, in particular the Sarge, played by an awesome Samuel L. Jackson and Nicole Brown as the medic (and obvious love interest) of their unit Dr. Samantha McDowell. Tom Kenny, Jonathan Brandis and Ethan Suplee are all very entertaining in their roles as well, and David Fralick does a great job serving as the main human villain[36]. Griffin himself also manages to pull in a surprisingly compelling performance as the main character, creating a surprisingly compelling character out of what could have just been a bland vehicle for Steven Seagal[37]. The effects work is also astounding, truly making the environments feel otherworldly and scary to compliment the memorable action set pieces. Whether you're into the games or not, Doom has something for you to enjoy[38].

    220px-Doom_movie_poster.jpg

    Definitely not this

    Doom, rated R for excessive violence and profanity, ⭐⭐⭐


    Born To Run
    Guest review by @MNM041 with assistance from Mr. Harris Syed and @Plateosaurus


    Mike Nichols and Universal bring us this stunning adaptation of Joe Klein’s 1996 best-selling novel that served as a roman a clef of Al Gore's successful run for the White House in 1992. The film is about the young and gifted Henry Marshall (Dave Chappelle) who is tapped to oversee the presidential campaign of Tennessee Senator Wilson Roy (Alan Ruck). Marshall is pulled into the politician's colorful world and looks on as Roy -- who's already made a failed bid for the White House previously, and is banking on a quickly changing political sphere to win this time -- contends with his ambitious wife, Laura (Ally Sheedy) and an outspoken advisor, Dale Murphy (Brad Dourif). Henry soon realizes that he and Wilson are worlds apart in the many contentious issues within America today from gun control to abortion and race relations. Moreover, he learns that the Senator isn’t as perfect as he seems[39].

    The film is fiction, but the parallels to the 1992 Gore campaign are obvious even before we even meet Senator Roy, though the best thing about Primary Colors turns out to be that its palette isn’t primary at all: it’s full of secondary shadings – the pale violet of idealism crushed, the ocher of disappointment, the muted green of compromise. It’s as far from the spectrum of the obvious as a movie can get. The technical bunting is a perfect, Southern-fried smear of red, white and blue, beginning with Michael Ballhaus’ evocative compositions and colorations as well as Bo Welch’s down and lofty production design. Ry Cooder’s raucous and haunting music is a fitting blend of Southern discomfort, while costume designer Ann Roth’s fabrics bring out the personal flavors on this ragtag, history-making trek.

    But I suppose the question we should ask is are Ruck and Sheedy good as the Roys, and by extension are the Roys as good as the Gores? The answer to both those questions is an emphatic yes, with both of them nailing the aspects of the President and the First Lady that we've come to know over the years, as well as giving us an intimate behind the scenes look at both of them, and they are surrounded by an amazing cast, Chappelle in particular, putting in an amazing performance as Henry, who in essence, is the true protagonist of the film, being the one who is seemingly dragged along for the ride that the hectic campaign proves to be. The scenes between him and Alan Ruck are the highlight of the film. The film also carefully handles the many divisive issues before or after the 1992 election in a way where neither Henry nor Wilson are right or wrong. All of this is backed by Nichols’ wonderful direction, a superb screenplay and an intriguing story. Simply put, Primary Colors is a wonderful comedy-drama that provides an insightful look into the landscape of modern American politics[40].

    220px-Primaryposter.jpg

    Basically this, but based on Gore due to Clinton not being president

    Primary Colors, rated R for strong language and sexual references, ⭐⭐⭐⭐


    A Brave Journey West
    Guest review by @MNM041 with assistance from Mr. Harris Syed and @Plateosaurus


    Director Christopher Guest brings us Edwards and Hunt[41], a hilarious and clever film from Hyperion about two explorers racing Lewis and Clark to the Pacific Ocean in 1804. Leslie Edwards (Hugh Grant) is a glory-seeking fop who's out of his league, joined by Bartholomew Hunt (Chris Farley) a clumsy but gifted tracker. Alongside a team of other misfits and losers, the duo wreaks havoc on the American frontier of the early 19th century in an attempt to reach the other side of the continent to claim bragging rights over Lewis and Clark[42].

    The film very much calls back to old screwball comedies of the Golden Age of Hollywood with a lot of the humor coming from banter between its two leads with lots of verbal sparring where they're both clearly trying to get one over the other. While Farley and Grant are clearly very different performers, the chemistry between the two of them is phenomenal and they both get opportunities for some laugh out loud hilarious moments, all while being backed up by some supporting players who are also given moments to be incredibly funny, like Sacagawea’s cousin (newcomer from the Shoshone Patrick Shining Elk) who has to put up with their antics as their guide or Edwards's sweetheart (Parker Posey), naively trusting the duo’s abilities[43]. All and all, Edwards and Hunt is a funny and clever romp that will have you laughing all the way through[44].

    220px-Almost_Heroes_poster.jpg

    Basically this, but well-written

    Edwards and Hunt, rated T for crude humor and brief nudity, ⭐⭐⭐



    In Brief:
    • Big Dick Dingle: Andy Dick stars in this obscene and odious low brow comedy that manages to be an offensive mess even as it actively tries to promote gender and sexual equality; ⭐
    • Basil: (by @Nerdman3000) Though featuring some great performances from Fay Masterson and newcomer Jared Leto, this period romance drama is hampered by a relatively weak script; ⭐⭐½
    • Burning Bridges: Lloyd, Jeff, and Beau Bridges go Heavy Meta in this fully self-aware mind-warp based on a Charlie Kaufman script, directed by Gus Van Sant, and released by Hyperion; ⭐⭐⭐
    • Charlie Foxtrot: Wildside releases this Indie comedy about life in the Army; ⭐⭐⭐
    • Company of Angels: The Story of Joan of Arc: Kathryn Bigelow returns to the silver screen in this 20th Century Fox produced biopic epic about Joan of Arc[45], written by Jay Cocks and starring Sienna Guillory as the titular French Heroine; ⭐⭐½
    • Damned Nation: Tri-Star gets in on the Otherworldy Horror craze with this literal tale of Hell on Earth, serving as a clumsy metaphor for Global Warming; ⭐⭐½
    • Devil’s Advocate: John Malkovich gives a chilling performance as Lucifer himself opposite to his literal advocate, played by Ethan Hawke; ⭐⭐½
    • Dirty Deeds: Bob Saget[46] directs this low brow comedy starring Norm MacDonald about a “revenge for hire” business; ⭐⭐
    • Flamer: A psychological Indie film about a closeted gay fireman in Chicago distributed by Wildside; ⭐⭐⭐½
    • The Great Gatsby: (by @Nerdman3000) Oscar winning Fay Masterson delights as Daisy alongside Matt Damon and Ben Affleck in this new fantastic adaptation of the classic F. Scott Fitzgerald novel; ⭐⭐⭐½
    • Giant Beavers of Southern Sri Lanka: Trey Parker and Matt Stone return with another Creature Feature spoof[47], this time taking aim at the “Kaiju Kraze”; ⭐⭐⭐
    • Horseplay: Tim Curry and John Cleese have decent chemistry in this sometimes funny but unremarkable Universal comedy about feuding jockey trainers taking their rivalry to the Kentucky Derby[48]; ⭐⭐
    • Into the Woods: Francis Ford Coppola and the Creatureworks team up to bring Sondheim’s stage play to the big screen in this fun and whimsical adaption directed by Penny Marshall; ⭐⭐⭐
    • Lost in Space: Building off of A Very Brady Movie, Alan Ladd brings us this deliberately campy salute and affectionate parody to the original classic sci-fi series. Danger, Will Robinson, laughs ahead! ⭐⭐⭐
    • Love in the Air: Harry Connick Jr. and Sandra Bullock star in this romantic comedy about two airline pilots who share a cockpit; ⭐⭐⭐
    • Outside Providence: The Farrelly Brothers return in this raunchy stoner comedy about a teen boy named “Dildo” from Pawtucket, based on Peter Farrelly’s 1988 novel; ⭐⭐
    • Paulie Crackers: a mobster gets turned into a parrot in this silly and insipid Hollywood Pictures comedy; ⭐½
    • Smoke Signals: Chris Eyre directs this Wildside-released Indie coming-of-age dramedy set on the Coeur D'Alene Indian Reservation; ⭐⭐⭐½
    • Spice Girl Power! The prefab-five female pop group gives us a mindless comedy that tries to be a feminist anthem even as it objectifies and fetishizes its own stars; ⭐½
    • We Love You, Barney! The purple dinosaur goes on a family friendly adventure; ⭐⭐⭐
    • One Witch Way: Bette Midler devours the scenery like it was a candy cottage in this semi-musical family comedy about an eccentric witch living in Milwaukee; ⭐⭐⭐
    • Wonderland: Warner Brothers gives a twisted noir take on the Lewis Carroll classic in this surreal, effects-driven Otherworldly Horror; ⭐⭐
    • Zalmander: A surprisingly intelligent “dumb” comedy starring and directed by Ben Stiller of a vacuous male fashion model turned assassin with supporting cast Luke Wilson and Andy Dick[49]; ⭐ ⭐ ⭐


    [1] She’s back to being a redhead for this film. Also, an allo-historical allusion to her brief role with Pierce Brosnan in a bond-themed Visa commercial in our timeline. “I’ll just need some…ID.”

    [2] Imagine a grittier and more grounded Saffron.

    [3] Before anyone celebrates this “progressive step” as “ahead if its time”, keep in mind it’s still leaning heavily into Depraved Homosexual tropes, but will be “fair for its day” as a bit of representation on par with queer-coded Disney villains.

    [4] Will make $103 million against its $66 million budget, and is considered an underperformance, but will do well enough on home media and be a go-to school movie day showing.

    [5] Better promoted and with the Wachowski visuals and some action and innovative cinematography (it’s not yet to The Matrix, but stands out on its own), it will be a minor success ($133 million against a $36 million budget) and spur lots of discussion about genetic engineering and transhumanism. They will also subtly address another meaning of “Trans” as they explore gender identity and have transgender background characters, including a tragic character who was “engineered” male by her parents against her will. It will get nominated for Best Cinematography and Art Direction and Best Costuming and Phoenix will get a Golden Globe nomination, but no wins.

    [6] Will get a wider release and larger box office ($58 million) than in our timeline since there’s an existing Otherworldly Horror zeitgeist to build upon. Will get compared frequently to the stylistically similar Skeleton Crew production Transhuman.

    [7] Pakula was into early production in our timeline when he was killed in a car accident. Here that accident was butterflied. Hat tip to @nick_crenshaw82.

    [8] Redford has already made a movie where he’s the star and director so The Horse Whisperer doesn’t have this first in our timeline.

    [9] Scarlett Johansson is much more famous in this timeline’s ‘90s thanks to 1995’s Annie and especially Jumanji respectively. At first, Natalie Portman or Kate Bosworth were briefly considered for The Horse Whisperer since they were offered the role of Grace MacLean while researching the film but given how popular Johansson is with her appearances in film and television it was decided that she would still play the part. On top of that, Johansson’s name will be billed second above the poster after Kristin Scott Thomas for these reasons.

    [10] Recall that Hunter appeared in Annie (1995) along with his sister gave him the acting bug and he would be auditioning for more roles in film and television.

    [11] In the book, Annie MacLean has that surname and it’s kept here for this timeline’s The Horse Whisperer along with her married surname.

    [12] Similarly, Emma Thompson were considered for the role of Annie Graves-MacLean respectively but it was decided to keep Kristin Scott Thomas in the role just like the rest of the cast as a little meta-joke on how The Horse Whisperer remains the exact same movie like Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.

    [13] The name of the movie’s in-universe show, director and star of this timeline’s The Truman Show are taken from the original plans of screenwriter Andrew Niccol. Because Carrey doesn’t star in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, Niccol never gets the idea of having him play Truman/Malcolm. Likewise, the setting is inspired by the original script’s version of having a fake New York City for Burbank to live in rather than Seaside, Florida like in our timeline.

    [14] Hopper was originally cast to play Christof but left the film due to “creative differences” with Weir. As De Palma is directing this film, he will stay on board for The Headliner for its bleaker tone and satire. Other than Williams, Hopper, McElhone (as Hannah Gill/Meryl Burbank) and Cates, the cast is largely the same as our timeline.

    [15] Building off the momentum caused by Drop Dead Fred’s success, The Headliner will be seen as one of Cates’ best movies.

    [16] The ending of this movie will be debated fiercely by fans and critics over whether or not Malcolm really escapes his show and reunites with Sylvia/Lauren.

    [17] Since The Truman Show is known as The Headliner, The Truman Show Syndrome becomes The Headliner Syndrome in this timeline.

    [18] The film bombs against a $15 million budget, grossing only $9 million worldwide, and will do a fair bit of damage to Mara Wilson’s career. As a result, it will make her leave acting earlier (as opposed to 2000 in our timeline after Thomas and the Magic Railroad). However, unlike in our timeline, here it’s only a temporary hiatus, and come the late 2000’s and 2010’s, she’ll return. Meanwhile, the film will also gain a minor cult following online for its rather off-kilter tone and Mara’s against-type performance.

    [19] This was an actual film (written by Nick Marine and Jib Polhemus) that Cage was supposed to do with 20th Century Fox in our timeline, but it got stalled to the point where he was too busy with other projects and thus the film was never made. With the first and second-order butterflies in the entertainment industry (such as the success of monster movies this timeline’s ‘90s), Cage will get the chance to star in Tom Slick: Monster Hunter and it will make a pretty good profit.

    [20] John Powell’s the composer in question, who did the score for Face/Off as with our timeline.

    [21] Spoilers, but they do appear eventually (sort of). In the film’s last scene, Slick dies in a plane crash over Montana after a hunting trip, and as he lay dying, the monsters he long sought approach him, the Yeti most prominently… though the dreamlike nature of it suggests it may just be a dying hallucination.

    [22] In terms of overall box office, the film will make around $96 million on a $67 million budget. It will be fondly remembered as one of Nicolas Cage’s best performances alongside Leaving Las Vegas.

    [23] Funny enough, Stallone has frequently actually expressed desire to produce, star, and/or direct a biopic on Edgar Allan Poe in our timeline for almost 30 years. In 2009 he even tried to get Robert Downey Jr as well as Johnny Depp involved to play Poe, but was never able to get the film going. Here Stallone manages to do the Poe movie he wanted in the ‘90s, with Depp starring.

    [24] Stallone, rejected by multiple studios, went to Burton, who of course was receptive to a Poe biopic, becoming the Executive Producer alongside Stallone.

    [25] In our timeline, the Ken Rex McElroy case served as the inspiration for the 1991 TV movie In Broad Daylight. In this timeline, stuff like the Anita Hill scandal end up bringing more awareness to cases like this, meaning it serves as the inspiration for more high profile movies.

    [26] Chris Cornell was offered the chance to play a character in The Usual Suspects, but never read the script. Here, he’s instead offered a role in Buried Secrets, reads the script and takes up one of the lead roles since The Usual Suspects was butterflied due to Kevin Spacey and Bryan Singer serving jail time for sexual misconduct per @Geekhis Khan. Freddie Prinze Jr, meanwhile, ends up getting his big break through this film instead of I Know What You Did Last Summer as the latter film does not exist in the Hensonverse.

    [27] As Dawson’s Creek was never made due to the failure of Killing Mrs. Tingle, Michelle Williams gets recognition from her role in Buried Secrets instead.

    [28] This film also ends up providing boosts in the careers for some of its cast. Jim Varney for example gets a chance to prove he's not just Ernest P. Worrell, and Lana Clarkson actually ends up getting a Best Supporting Actress nomination at the 71st Academy Awards, meaning that her career isn't solely defined by cheesy sword and sorcery movies and she won't be murdered by Phil Spector since Clarkson not only appear in more big movies but she does not meet him at the House of Blues and ends up going to another concert hall/restaurant instead. Ed O’Neil also gets praised for going against type as the repulsive Almont while Josh Hartnett gets his film career started with Buried Secrets instead of Halloween H20: 20 Years Later.

    [29] The film will have significant plot twists concerning Almont especially in the third act and climax such as Rick being the son of one of his mistresses, William as his father-in-law or Danielle’s friendship with the man because of her naivety. However, the mystery of who murdered Terrence Almont is kept a mystery similar to its real-life inspiration.

    [30] In terms of overall reputation, Buried Secrets is like Se7en in that it’s directed by David Fincher and it’s seen by many as one of the best detective and neo-noir thrillers of all time compared to the latter’s counterpart Seven Sins, which is seen as merely good but not necessarily great. The movie makes $265.8 million on a budget of $45 million and earns numerous Oscar nominations though it only wins in the Best Score, Best Cinematography and Best Original Screenplay categories while losing out in others including Best Supporting Actress.

    [31] In our timeline the original title for the film was Warrior of Waverly Street and was released in 1997 by Trimark as their push into the big leagues. However, here it’s given an entirely different title.

    [32] Due to the after-effects of the Anita Hill case, the movie has a subtext of discrimination within the nerd community. Also, the casting director sees Mary-Kate in another project and feels she is a perfect fit for Major Tomboy, and later persuades Lambert and screenwriters to rewrite the film to have a girl protagonist though the rest of the cast is similar. As a result, Mary-Kate and Ashley end up getting opportunities to star in features without each other, with Mary-Kate in particular getting more chances as a result of this movie.

    [33] While it won’t do too well critically beyond “okay”, Major Tomboy will do better in the box office department than our timeline’s Star Kid and be more remembered thanks to stronger direction and better character development coupled with praise for its feminist commentary results in a franchise of sorts however minor, with a cartoon on ABC, a toyline, a comic adaptation by Eclipse Comics and even a soft reboot in the early 2020’s.

    [34] In our timeline, Doom got two terrible movie adaptations in the form of the 2005 Dwayne Johnson star vehicle that removes the Hell/supernatural-related elements from the story and 2019’s Doom: Annihilation. Here, since The Super Mario Bros. Movie started a video game movie boom, it will get a faithful adaptation with Ted as the director.

    [35] Sam Raimi was initially going to direct the film but was replaced due to being busy with another project in The Mighty Thor with Brad Pitt as the titular character.

    [36] Nicole Brown's murder was averted and as a result she goes on to start a successful career in acting starting with this movie. As a result of this film, Tom Kenny gets more chances to do live action projects alongside his voice acting. This movie also proves to be a needed career boost for Brandis, and a result, the career setbacks that led to his suicide in 2003 are butterflied away, meaning he’s still around.

    [37] Steven Seagal's career is brought to an abrupt end after his history of sexual harassment and terrible treatment of directors and co-stars is brought to light. Thomas Ian Griffin, who was initially just working as a stuntman on the movie, was later brought on to replace him and gets a career boost. More on that scandal and other such details of Doom in a post dedicated to this movie.

    [38] Thanks to the success of The Super Mario Bros. Movie and Mortal Kombat, Doom will make $283 million on a $95 million budget and spawn sequels and even an eventual crossover with the Alien movies. Since John Romero and John Carmac both worked on this film, they both get other opportunities in the film industry starting with an adaptation of Resident Evil in 2000 also made by 20th Century Studios.

    [39] Besides the fact that Wilson Roy (this timeline’s Jack Stanton) is based on Al Gore rather than Bill Clinton, he’s more of an environmentalist and doesn’t have an affair with his wife’s hairdresser. The main conflict of Primary Colors here is not an affair with the hairdresser, but Henry and Wilson having different positions on contentious social issues as well as the latter accepting money from Chinese donors akin to Chinagate (film only). Other notable cast members of this timeline’s Primary Colors include Mimi Rogers as Daisy Harewood, James Gandolfini as Howard Geraldson, Kevin Cooney as Lawrence Alexopolous, Phylicia Rashad as Elaine Lincoln, Larry Hagman as President Henry Picker, Chelchie Ross as Charles Martin, Robert Cicchini as Jack Ozio, Robert Easton as John Nilson, Avery Brooks as Isaiah Rucker, Ann Dowd as Lucy Kaufman and Russell Wong as Yuehan “John” Tsai as well. Much like the Roys and Marshall, every character listed an analogue to a real-life figure such as Elaine Lincoln for Donna Brazile or Yuehan “John” Tsai for Yah-Lin “Charlie” Trie. This is in no small part to the fact that Gore’s staff is different from our timeline and so some characters are completely different (i.e. Picker as an analogue to George H.W. Bush), were included in the movie version (Isaiah Rucker) or original-to-this timeline (Yuehan).

    [40] In our timeline, Primary Colors bombed at the box office despite favorable critical reception due to Clinton dealing with the Lewinsky scandal. Here, since Gore doesn’t have affairs with other women, the movie has a much better box office haul in addition to its sole Oscar win in Best Supporting Actress for Ally Sheedy as opposed to the Oscar nomination of Best Supporting Actress for Kathy Bates from our world. Neither Chappelle or Ruck get nominated, however, and the film loses out in other categories most notably Best Adapted Screenplay due to heavy competition from other films which causes anger from many people at the snubs.

    [41] This was the working title for what became known as Almost Heroes.

    [42] Hugh Grant was reportedly considered for this character in Our timeline. Recall in the “Undank ist der Weltlohn” post that Chris Farley survived thanks to the intervention of John Henson. With Farley not dying, expect him to appear in not just comedic movies but dramatic ones as well. Due to Farley's newfound sobriety, the film is rewritten at his request, and much of the planned "Fatty fall down" humor is cut and replaced.

    [43] Elk in our timeline remained a stuntman and a bit part actor in movies from the 1990s and 2000s. Here, he gets cast in Edwards and Hunt because of its different production cycle and his role in this movie means he will get more roles thanks to the film doing better critically and commercially (and will do his own stunts a la Jackie Chan or Tom Cruise). Posey was apparently in the film initially, but her scene was cut. Here it isn't, and similarly no reshoots happen, so Bokeem Woodbine's character Jonah doesn't just disappear from the final act.

    [44] Thanks to the better screenplay and acting, Edwards and Hunt makes more money at the box office than Almost Heroes, grossing $95 million on a $30 million budget, with a more positive response from critics and audiences.

    [45] A Guest Review by @Nerdman3000; In our timeline, this film eventually became The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc, after Luc Besson signed on as executive producer and demanded his then wife Milla Jovovich to star as Joan of Arc. When Bigalow refused to cast Jovovich and Besson realized his wife wasn’t going to get the role, he backed out of the film (taking his financial backers with him) and broke his contract eight weeks before the film would have started filming. With Company of Angels effectively killed, Besson then stole Bigelow’s research for the film and most of the script Bigelow wrote and started production of The Messenger, with Jovovich starring (who ironically ended up divorcing Besson right after the film released anyway). While Bigelow threatened legal action, it got settled out of court. In this timeline, rape allegations made against Besson in late 1996, not unlike the ones he was accused of in our timeline, will mean Bigelow is forced to find a different producer, thus leading to the film actually being made under Bigelow.

    [46] Requiem in Pace, you wholesome, filthy bastard. We miss you!

    [47] Based on their college film from our timeline, which was butterflied in favor of the Smart Slasher send-up The Enlightener in this timeline.

    [48] As mentioned in the Gorgo post, Horseplay basically takes the bantering relation in the film and makes a whole vehicle film out of it. It will flop ($30 million budget, 25 million gross) and generally be one of those forgotten studio comedies.

    [49] With Cable Guy not an embarrassing underperformer, his Derek Zoolander character, named Arman Zalmander in this timeline, developed for the VH1 1996 Fashion Awards, goes through much earlier since he’s seen as a bankable director. Dick was originally intended for Mugatu but was unavailable in our timeline. Will be a middling performer turned VHS/VCD hit per our timeline. Richard Belzer will play the hand model that lets him in on the grand conspiracy rather than David Duchovny due to the alternate X-Files. Recall that Owen Wilson is finishing up his enlistment in the Marine Corps, where he’s serving as a CH-53 helicopter mechanic and that Luke is “taking his place” in Hollywood as it were.
     
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    DisWar Two
  • Chapter 1: The Activist Investor
    From Dis-War Two: The Great Disney Proxy Culture War of 1998, by Taylor Johnson


    As the new millennium dawned, the old Corporate Raiders of the 1980s had given way to a new breed on Wall Street, the Activist Investor. Driven as much by a sense of righteousness as by simple greed, the Activist Investors were a breed who largely saw themselves as the heroes. They’d carve a chunk out of a public company, insinuate themselves or their allies on the Board, and use the threat of proxy battles or actual proxy battles to force what they saw as “constructive change”.

    They were a product of their time. By the late 1990s the illusion of Shareholder Democracy had given way to an autocratic system of all-powerful chief executives with a submissive board that bowed to their desires. The Chairman/CEO set the agenda and the board routinely acquiesced with few if any objections or requests for supporting information. This would frequently (almost inevitably) lead to groupthink and a lack of real accountability. Executives and directors set up healthy payments and stock options for themselves and high-level shareholders and made decisions based on short-term stock gains for immediate personal payoff. Other times boards simply fell into habitual thinking that led to stagnation and static share prices.

    Many Activist Investors thus saw themselves as the stewards of the shareholders. Others saw themselves more romantically, as corporate Robin Hoods there to take compensation from greedy, self-serving executives and giving them to the shareholders. The change they pressed for was generally done with fiscal reasons in mind, though a breed of politically minded Activist Investors seeking sociopolitical aims would appear soon enough. But for the most part the changes were intended to improve market valuation and quarterly profits, generally through consolidation of divisions, elimination of redundancies and inefficient management, replacement of old leadership, and by focusing purely on profit-driven practices shorn of sentimentality or tradition.

    In many cases these actions were beneficial, removing stale corporate structures and old managers stuck in outdated thinking. But in other cases, the moves could backfire or lead to negative consequences in the longer term. The changes were often aimed around short-term gains in quarterly returns and share price, improving the lives and profits of the principal shareholders but occasionally at the expense of long-term solvency or brand perception.

    Many names come to mind within the realm of the Activist Investor: Carl Icahn, Bill Ackman, Daniel Loeb, Barry Rosenstein, and others. But one of the first was Nelson Peltz of the Trian Hedge Fund, and it is Peltz who is at the center of this particular tale.

    nelsonpeltz-(1).jpg

    Nelson Peltz (Image source Wendy’s)

    Peltz and his partner Peter May had, by this point, turned Triangle Industries into a leading packaging company and more recently acquired their Trian company and used it in the late 1990s to acquire and turn around the struggling Snapple drinks company in what became a Harvard Business School case study.

    But for their next target, they were thinking bigger. Specifically, they were thinking about Walt Disney Entertainment.

    “Disney is ripe for new efficiencies,” Peltz told his board in the spring of 1998. “They have grown spectacularly since the early 1980s, with explosive growth in the early 1990s, but since Jim Henson formally assumed the Chair in 1995, between their questionable investment in a colosseum for the LA Rams and their acquisition of NBC, they have stagnated. The Rams continue to struggle, boding poorly for the stadium’s potential, NBC has dropped from first place in the ratings to third, and the once-great company continues to be held back from their true potential by sentimentality and fairy dust. For the last decade, particularly since Henson’s ascension to the Chair, they have wasted funds on stale, sentimental IP like the Muppets, vanity projects like their Signature Series films, and gold-plating on their many parks. Yes, Disney is a premium brand, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t run more efficiently while still maintaining a premier image. A Polo Shirt still sells as a Polo regardless of whether it’s made in New York by skilled craftsmen or in an Asian sweatshop.”

    On the surface, Disney was doing excellently. They’d recently acquired and integrated NBC. Stocks at the time were trading at around $95 per share with nearly 500 million outstanding shares; a market cap of nearly $50 billion. Expectations of another 3:1 or even 4:1 stock split circulated Wall Street. Profits regularly exceeded $5 billion per annum, with regular reinvestment in support of consistent growth in the parks and film sectors.

    But there were obvious inefficiencies beyond the sentimental things like the Muppets or WED Signature films. NBC’s profitability was dropping with their ratings, and with the expanding cable market increasing competition. Raising salaries for animators spurred by the rise of competing studios were increasing the costs of animated films, even as their late ‘80s/early ‘90s boom was fading. The massive parks expansion of the 1990s, with the new Disneylands and Disneytowns, were pulling in high revenues at the moment, but the combined overhead from operations and maintenance were arguably untenable in the long run as revamps and repairs became more critical. With total revenues in 1997 just over $20 billion per annum, that led to a Price-to-Sales ratio of roughly 2.5. Not terrible, but far from optimal. Plenty of room for improvement if the operating expenses could be controlled and reinvestments scaled back, particularly on sentimental things like new EPCOT Pavilions that rarely increased attendance enough to justify their high costs.

    The painful failure of Disneytown St. Louis also pointed to a major limitation with the Dream philosophy. Opened based on nostalgia for the deceased Walt’s intentions three decades earlier in the face of already stiff competition from Six Flags, it had quickly folded, a $250 million mistake. And now you had them repeating the same mistake, opening a Disneytown in Hamilton, Ontario, just under an hour south from the larger, established Canada’s Wonderland, which, like Six Flags, was closer to the largest major city of Toronto. Early numbers showed them struggling against Wonderland, as should have been anticipated. The cross-lake Ferry service was woefully under capacity.

    And then you had the massive, and questionable, investment in sports. The Good Sports Department was so far not making returns enough to justify the expenses of the $300 million stadium. Ex-CEO Ron Miller’s ego appeared to have been the driving force in its creation, and Henson, driven by loyalty to Miller, had arguably failed in his fiduciary responsibilities to the shareholders by not pushing back. Given that Miller owned a 25% stake in the LA Rams, and stood to directly benefit from the stadium, as to a lesser degree did Henson, who held a small stake through the Rams Fans Trust, there was the appearance of an ethical conflict of interest as well. For all of these reasons the sports department seemed ripe for divestment.

    Yes, there were plenty of areas for improvement, as Peltz saw it. Less charity, more sequels. Increased corporate sponsorship to defray costs. More product integration in films. Fewer EPCOT pavilions with more investment into rides tied to popular lines like the Princesses and Marvel rather than educational stuff. Dump the Sports Department. Scrap the WED Signature Series line, retire the Muppets to the vault (and shutter the underperforming Muppetland attractions), and focus on mass-appeal films and TV. Reduce movie and animation costs through cheaper production methods and outsourcing, even if that meant short-term conflict breaking the union. Bring employee compensation in-line with industry averages[1]. Scrap the practical effects division in favor of cheaper, quicker digital effects. Reduce the payroll through mass layoffs. By his estimation a 10-20% reduction in expenses was hypothetically possible.

    Convincing the board would be a challenge. Roy Disney’s “Putting the Dream before the Scheme” mentality was considered sacrosanct. And Chairman Jim Henson was the biggest obstacle. He insisted on acting out of principle rather than profit. He’d found a good balance between the two, Peltz had to admit, but by focusing the board’s frustrations against his “hippie dreamer” ways he’d have exactly the wedge he needed to force meaningful change.

    The best evidence that he had for the failings of Henson as a whole was the diminishing returns on feature animation in particular. None of the recent animated features had approached the level of Aladdin or The Lion King, even as their costs grew. The recent Kindred Spirits had only made about half of what Aladdin had made nearly a decade earlier. The Swan Princess and Medusa had underperformed similarly. And while he would certainly argue how this showed that Henson was out of touch with current tastes, much of the blame was frankly due to external competition from ABC, Columbia, Warner, and even Jim’s own daughter at Fox. And that competition was in a large part due to technology that Disney developed at cost, but then Henson allowed to be sold to others, spinning up their own competition and hurting their own bottom line!

    Frankly, the best returns were from the MGM side of the house, where folks like Bernie Brillstein and Marge Loesch could be thanked, even as Peltz knew that Brillstein would likely stand by Jim the whole time and possibly go down with the ship beside him.

    And Henson’s signature creations, the underperforming Muppets, offered the perfect symbol of how out-of-touch and stuck in the past Henson was. They hadn’t even approached the level of popularity that they had in the late 1970s, even with Disney actively promoting them. They were a fringe IP for a cult audience and hardly worth the money that the company was putting into them. The cost of the Muppet Performers themselves was phenomenal—how hard was it to stick your hand in a puppet and make it talk? This disconnect between the Muppets and popular tastes was best symbolized by the new NBC Peacock Muppet “Enby” that the NBC staff so despised and best represented by the underperforming Too Late with Miss Piggy and Muppetland attractions. A “new” creative eye was needed.

    So Peltz knew that he needed a name to replace Henson. For CEO, he had a list of promising entertainment and industry executives, but for the creative head he needed a creative name. And he had it: Universal Studios head and Universal/ABC CCO Jeffrey Katzenberg. Katzenberg was overtly allied to Bob Iger, but Peltz knew that Katzenberg’s loyalty to the company was malleable and that he’d surely jump at the opportunity for the Chair at Disney.

    Even so, taking a bite out of Disney would be a challenge, but the brand recognition and scale of the “rescue” would become legend if they pulled it off. They’d need billions of dollars to take a serious bite out of the Mouse. Also, with a commanding share of the ownership in the hands of the Disneys and Hensons (nearly 43% combined) Peltz would need to motivate a significant share of the outstanding investors or else break up the Henson-Disney alliance. Even pulling just one of the two Disney factions out of the alliance, which would be fully in the realm of possibility given the many rumors of lingering distrust between the two sides of the family, could move mountains.

    Other investors were vulnerable to be swayed. Bass Brothers’ lingering issues with Disney’s Green tech push were well known, particularly as the green energy investments he’d made at their advice underperformed to expectations even with federal backing. Rumor had it that Bass was facing margin calls. Marriott could be drawn to support increased efficiencies or simply bought off by putting more of the hotel profits into their hands…or by simply spinning the hotels off directly into Marriott’s hands in a cash deal. Furthermore, over 10% of the shares belonged to General Electric, who rumor had it was increasingly upset at how Disney was handling NBC and was considered a swayable potential ally.

    And nearly 25% of shares were freely trading and available to claim.

    A plan had formed: grab a noteworthy stake as a way onto the board, then work to turn Bass, Marriott, GE, and at least one side of the Disney family against Henson. Put an ally in the Chair and make the magic happen. But he needed some more investors. He began making calls to various allies in the corporate and even political spheres.

    He also needed some way to nullify Disney’s public relations advantage. They’d played the victim card to great advantage in 1984: the little family company besieged by greedy corporate men. The little company angle was a non-starter when they had a nearly $50 billion market cap, but the “Dream vs. Scheme” angle would play well with the general public, particularly with Jim Henson’s public popularity. But even that popularity was fraying. The sociopolitical right increasingly distrusted Henson thanks to the drumbeats of conservative media. Even the far left was losing faith in him, seeing his “corporate machinations” as the Chairman of a major global corporation as an act of virtual treason to the hippie values that he claimed to espouse. The far left was far less likely than the right to own stock in Disney, though (save for the “Limousine Liberal” class), so attacking him from the right made more strategic sense while also appealing directly to Peltz’s own fiscally conservative politics.

    Ideally, simply winning over part of the Disney family would be the public relations coup that he needed (having Roy or Diane as the face of his revolution would be perfect). But if he couldn’t immediately make inroads with any Disneys, then he needed someone wholesome who could reach a wide audience and cast doubt that Disney was a Friendly Family company and thereby help nullify the PR offensive sure to come. His contact Newt Gingrich told him that he knew just the guy.

    Yes, Disney would be a challenge, but it could be done. And Henson’s hippie ways and Roy’s “Putting the Dream before the Scheme” philosophy would be the target, relics of a bygone age ready for replacement by a new, modern, 21st Century way of doing business.



    Stocks at a Glance: Walt Disney Entertainment (DIS)

    June 4th, 1998

    Stock price: $95.14

    Major Shareholders: Henson family (18.7%), Roy E. Disney family (12.2%), Disney-Miller family (12.1%), General Electric (10.5%), Sid Bass (8.7%), Bill Marriott (5.7%), Amblin Entertainment (1.2%), Apple Comp. (0.7%), Lucasfilm Ltd. (0.5%), Suspected “Knights Errant” (4.9%), Other (24.8%; ~8% Institutional Investors)

    Outstanding shares: 498.6 million





    [1] In other words, cut pay and benefits. And Hat tip to @El Pip for the original idea for, and assist in planning, this subplot. Note that even he hasn't seen the conclusion!
     
    "Take a classic, change it beyond recognizability and add Andy Dick.”
  • Fresh from the Can: Creature from the Black Lagoon (1998)
    From The Canned Film Festival Netsite with Nate Reptorr, July 5th, 2018

    A Guest Post by @Nathanoraptor with Executive Meddling by me


    When you’re recovering from surgery, you find yourself with ample free time (the surgery was for a stupidity-related accident – fell off stairs and broke right leg whilst attempting home repair). And what better way to spend that time by watching movies? Even the really dodgy ones…hell especially the really dodgy ones? And given I’m the host of MonsterChat (not to brag or anything), I spend this time by watching monster movies.

    And what monster movie could be dodgier than 1998’s Creature from the Black Lagoon, a.k.a. “Creature utterly divorced from the Black Lagoon”, a.k.a. “The Creature that Devlin and Emmerich Ruined”, a.k.a. “The Creature that Ate [Andy] Dick”?

    220px-Creature_from_the_Black_Lagoon_poster.jpg

    Yeaaaaa......no.

    It’s agreed that the mid-to-late ‘90s were a Renaissance for the monster movie genre, sparked by Disney/MGM's phenomenally successful Jurassic Park and its follow-ups, as well as the slew of masterfully bad, but hugely entertaining mockbusters, such as Full Moon's Krangoa, Roger Corman's The Lost Continent, and Troma's Dinosaur Rampage!!! MGM and Columbia even remade Gorgo, sensationally described as “Monty Python meets Godzilla.”

    And most critical to today’s story, Universal revived both Kong and Godzilla with the masterful Kong: King of Skull Island and the Godzilla trilogy, and had been delivering classic Universal Monster reboots from Bram Stoker’s Dracula to Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein to The Wolfman to The Mummy all through the 1990s.

    Naturally, they would do Creature from the Black Lagoon next.

    Creature from the Black Lagoon is, in many ways, the Donatello of the monster move Renaissance (the Ninja Turtle, not the painter). It is a film that is widely, and in some ways unfairly, ignored, existing mostly in the shadow of its more popular contemporaries.

    Perhaps ironically, it’s how the film was made that is the more interesting story. Universal Studios chief Jeff Katzenberg described CftBL as “one of the most difficult productions we’ve ever had”. That’s an understatement. It was a story rife with betrayal, backstabbing, and backside-grabbing, micromanagement, interference, and rage-quitting, and a troubled production of nearly Apocalypse-Now-ish proportions.

    It all started so well. Fresh off the success of Kong: King of Skull Island, Peter Jackson, the film’s co-writer and second-unit director, was given the chance to write and direct a remake of Universal's monster classic. Robert Zemeckis, who had directed Kong: King of Skull Island, was executive producer.

    Jackson and Zemeckis immediately knew that, unlike Kong, the story had to be set in modern times. Jackson stated, “I think, with Creature from the Black Lagoon, we wanted to do a companion piece to Kong: King of Skull Island about our attitudes to the natural world, and if Kong had reflected on attitudes towards the natural world in the Victorian era, Black Lagoon would reflect on our attitudes towards the natural world in the present day.”

    Jackson and Zemeckis put together a story for the film, drawing on both the themes of the original and some of the themes that they had touched upon in Kong: King of Skull Island. Now, I’m not going to give you a shot-by-shot synopsis, because the script is freely available online, but here is the basic summary:

    A husband-and-wife biologist team receive a message from the Amazon about a Dr. Mark Lucas, a scientist who claimed that he had found a surviving relic from the Devonian Age living in the jungle twenty years before. Meeting the scientist, they find his discovery: a lost world where primordial creatures roam. Among them is a surprisingly intelligent humanoid amphibian-creature that takes an interest in Kay. It’s a dark, dramatic journey where our protagonists are confronted with the ultimate question: what does it mean to be human? And, perhaps, more importantly, what does it mean to be a man?

    Tom Cruise, leading man of Kong, was cast as Dr. David Reed, and then-near-unknown actress Lena Headey was cast as Kay, a part originally played by Julie Adams, with both characters reimagined as a husband-and-wife biologist team who come to the Amazon to find proof of the Gill-man’s existence. Both fans of the original film, Cruise and Headey were eager to participate.

    Charles Dance was cast as Captain Lucas, composited with Dr. Mark Williams and reimagined as “a Kurtz-like scientist obsessed with proving the Gill-man’s existence,” based on the Dutch zoologist Marc van Roosmalen, and would serve as the film’s human antagonist. Dance, a fan of the original film, stated, “It was Peter’s vision that got me to say yes – that and the script he’d written. He was very passionate about it and he’d done a spectacular job updating this widely-loved story for a contemporary audience.”

    1669554214772.png

    Something along these lines (actually from an attempted reboot from our timeline; image from Lost Media Wiki)

    Unfortunately, the studio kept on trying to meddle in the film, with Katzenberg attempting to make the Gill-man more of a straight monster and turn it from Jackson’s dark fantasy (which Katzenberg considered “overcomplicated”) into a standard horror film. Jackson fought these changes tooth and nail, but the studio refused to give in. With relations that strained, something had to break. And break it did.

    Nobody's quite sure whether Jackson was fired or quit of his own free will, but negotiations collapsed and depart the film he did. Zemeckis, angered at their treatment of Jackson, departed shortly after he did.

    The reaction of the cast and crew to Jackson’s departure, weeks before shooting, was, for wont of a better word, fury. Dance described it as “the most moronic thing I’ve ever seen a major studio do” and an outraged Headey threatened to quit if Jackson was not reinstated but was told in no uncertain terms that her career would never recover if she did.

    Hoping to replace Jackson as quickly as possible, Universal hired Roland Emmerich and Dean Devlin, who’d recently made bank with Arachnophobia. Jackson's script was thrown away and the two were told to write a script from scratch. Jackson later remarked, “Not a single line I wrote ended up in the finished film. Suffice to say, I felt pretty insulted when I heard that I had been given a ‘Story By’ credit. I rang up Jeff Katzenberg, put him through to the union rep and basically told him that I wash my hands of this film and I would only be credited under a pseudonym. I chose ‘Will Ruck,’ after my father’s name and my mother’s maiden name.” In the intervening years, “Will Ruck” has become a common pseudonym for screenwriters who do not wish their names attached to a film along the lines of Alan Smithee for directors and producers.

    Emmerich and Devlin's script changed many key aspects of the film. Kay was rewritten from a biologist to a documentary filmmaker, and a film crew (who read like a who's who of 90s comedy names) were added to provide some comic relief – particularly, a wise-cracking cameraman, originally written for Steve Buscemi, but eventually played by Andy Dick (against Emmerich’s wishes), who was, amazingly enough, a big name at that time. As well as this, Dance’s Lucas became more villainous, going from a mocked scientist who goes to horrifying lengths to prove his theories about the Gill-man to an Ahab-like ex-soldier aiming to kill the Gill-man for previously biting off his hand.

    The Gill-man himself was fundamentally changed, going from a semi-anthropomorphic sympathetic figure whose human side is revealed in his interactions with the protagonists, to an instinct-driven apex predator whose only interest in the protagonists is gastronomic. Of this change, Emmerich stated, “We liked the notion that the Gill-man as a predator who has lost his habitat from human encroachment. We sort of imagined him as a wolf who's hunting livestock because humans have driven out his natural prey.”

    Devlin elaborated, “His motivation is survival; he’s a predator trying to survive in an unfamiliar world. To portray the Gill-man as an animal that is part of an ecosystem, rather than just some one-off freak of nature, was a very interesting idea for me, because it puts him in a natural context.”

    His design changed, too, from an upright-walking frog-like humanoid to a mostly quadrupedal crocodile-like creature. Crocodiles, Komodo dragons and axolotls were used as key influences, as were reconstructions of prehistoric amphibians and theropod dinosaurs. Here is his description in Emmerich and Devlin's script:

    “The GILL-MAN is a strange creature, looking like a cross between a toad, an alligator and a salamander. His jaws are superficially crocodile-like, being long and tooth-filled. His skin is a slimy-looking greenish black and gill slits run down the side of his neck, his feet are webbed and his tail is adapted for swimming. His body is covered with scars, the relics of previous battles. He carries himself with the savage dignity of an apex predator, like a wolf or a tiger.”

    5812d2decbe7cd28c0bb3ffbb2923097.jpg

    Early concept art (design evolved from this) (Actually from BlackWing-24 on DeviantArt)

    Shooting in Brazil went little better. Just about everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. A rainstorm nearly short-circuited the Gill-man animatronic. The cast and crew would frequently wake up with animals in their tents. One of the cameramen was bitten by a venomous snake, and had to be airlifted to a hospital in Manaus and filming pretty much came to a standstill after most of the cast and crew came down with a stomach virus. “We couldn’t film two minutes without someone vomiting, or worse,” as Dance recalls.

    However, the human element was somehow worse. The cast got on spectacularly poorly with Emmerich, partly due to the way their characters had been changed in the rewrite and partly due to their still being bitter over Jackson’s dismissal. Charles Dance, in particular, disliked the way Emmerich’s script tried to portray his character as a straight villain, rather than the more nuanced figure Jackson had intended to create.

    The on-set hell was exacerbated by the Andy Dick element. Dick (to be honest, were you expecting anything else?) was habitually late and would often show up intoxicated and high when he did, with no idea of what he was supposed to be saying or doing. His co-stars found his ego intolerable with Charles Dance saying “Your talent and your ego are two different things, Andy; your core problem is that you conflate the two.”

    According to Dance, Dick then told him to “go deepthroat a f***ing tapir”.

    Dick made it his mission, it seemed, to drive everyone else insane. He treated the crew appallingly, bullied the native extras, interrupted Emmerich’s direction with annoying comments and would frequently stall filming by ad-libbing bizarre lines when his co-stars were in the middle of speaking. At one point, he almost got into a fistfight with Charles Dance over Dick’s treatment of the crew.

    Not even Emmerich was immune to the abuse. In the documentary chronicling the hellish production, Black Lagoon: The Doomed Journey, Danny John-Jules (who played dreadlocked soundman Johnny Ringo and who claimed he was the victim of racial abuse by Dick) recounts one particular incident:

    “One day, Roland was giving him [Andy Dick] a bollocking for showing up late for the umpteenth time and Dick…I can’t believe I’m saying this, even now…did a Nazi salute, said “Jahowl, Mein Furher” and goose-stepped away. We were all shocked—and Roland was f**king furious.”

    However, it turned out that he sunk to even lower depths than that. Several years later, Lena Headey revealed that she was sexually harassed by Dick on multiple occasions whilst filming, to the point where, once filming was done, she had to undergo counselling. After Headey’s revelation, several members of the crew, both male and female, came forward, alleging further claims of sexual misconduct from Dick.

    Emmerich later confirmed their stories, describing Dick’s misconduct as “an open secret” and the studio’s refusal to let him fire Dick (widely believed to be because of The Andy Dick Show, amazingly a big hit for ABC)[1] as “one of the most shameful things I’ve ever encountered in this business”, and publicly apologized for not doing more to protect Headey and others on set.

    Knowing all this, it’s not hard to see an element of catharsis in the gruesome death of Dick’s character at the Gill-man’s jaws (apparently, his character was supposed to survive the film). And it’s perhaps unsurprising that, when Dick’s last scene had been shot, Emmerich said, “Get that bastard off this set.”

    MV5BMTg4NTYyNjk3MV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwMTk3MTAz._V1_.jpg

    The real predatory monster (Image source IMDB)

    The finished film got mixed reviews, with critics praising the effects and some of the performances (particularly Headey and Dance) but criticizing the story, some of the characterization and the deviations the film took from its source material, as well as similarities between it and 1994’s Gator Bait.

    Andy Dick’s character Reggie was particularly mocked, with even positive reviews citing him as a flaw in the film. Nuclear Family was spot-on, as always, in the episode “Lights, Camera, Mayhem”, where Burns dryly states, “Haven't you heard? Creativity died a long time ago – nowadays, you just take a classic, change it beyond recognizability and add Andy Dick.”

    The film is profoundly disliked by fans of the original for the many liberties it takes with the source material, particularly in the Gill-Man’s portrayal. After seeing the film, original Gill-Man actor Ben Chapman wryly commented “They took the ‘man’ out of the Gill-Man.” The creature has since been nicknamed “Gill” by fans because of this.

    Original Black Lagoon fan Guillermo del Toro, when asked on his views of Emmerich’s remake, commented, “How can you take a story so great and adapt it so badly? Watching it was like watching someone play Vivaldi with half a violin.”

    Even Universal’s partners at Toho, who had followed the debacle closely and had formerly had a “civil” relationship with Katzenberg, were not happy. Allegedly an “irate” Shogo Tomiyama stormed in Katzenberg’s office and angrily stated that, if Katzenberg meddled with Godzilla 2 as he had with Black Lagoon, it would be the end of the studios’ partnership.

    Financially, the film was a box office disappointment, grossing $90 million domestically and $120 million international, for a worldwide total of $210 million, against a $100 million budget, roughly two-thirds of what Kong: King of Skull Island had grossed three years earlier. It was the piece de resistance to what was a disappointing financial year for Universal Pictures.

    The people involved in the film don’t recall it with much fondness either. Emmerich, who was, in many ways, the scapegoat for the film’s quality, looked back at the movie with a great deal of regret, “There were mistakes. The script was one rewrite away from being good but we weren’t allowed to rewrite it. The studio wouldn’t let us test screen it. I think a big problem was that the studio was insistent about keeping the Memorial Day release date, meaning we had to rush everything. I suggested pushing it forward to Labor Day to give us more time, but they refused.”

    Dean Devlin commented, “The big mistake, I think, when we did the script, is that we did not commit to anthropomorphizing the Gill-Man, to humanizing him. We decided to make him a predator trying to survive. That was a flaw in the basic approach, which basically had this domino effect in which the film collapsed. That’s the flaw that killed the movie – a flaw which I take full responsibility for.”

    The cast don't recall it with a great deal of fondness either. Cruise has called the film “crap”, saying that it was “one of the worst movies I’ve ever been in. Just thinking about it brings back bad memories.” Charles Dance has stated that “it was one of the, if not the, most hellish production I’ve ever been involved in…and the finished product was nowhere near worth what we had to endure. The studio had a great film and they pretty much took a chainsaw to it.”

    For many years, Headey refused to even talk about the film, partly because it was bad and partly because of the nightmare she had to endure filming it. Her big break had sunk without trace. Recalling it in 2015, Headey stated that “it was one of the most nightmarish experiences I’ve ever had in my life. I really feel like we dropped the ball on the legacy that people, myself included, loved and cherished.”

    Which is sad, really, because the general consensus is that Jackson’s script was really good and would have been a great movie. In 2018, to promote the Gill-Man’s return in the film Black Lagoon (which starred Emilia Clarke), Jackson’s script was adapted as a four-part graphic novel by IDW Comics. I suggest you read it, because it’s good.

    Having said that, however, the film has its redeeming facets. Most of the performances are good, even if the script is lackluster. Seeing a Charles Dance in particular chew scenery as Lucas is a thing of pure brilliance. The effects are brilliant (which is impressive, since they were only completed a week before it was due to be released) and the Gill-Man, despite being less anthropomorphized than his original counterpart, is surprisingly expressive at times.

    Updating the story of the Gill-Man with modern environmental themes is an idea that sounds very good on paper; after all, the 2018 film did much the same thing, only more faithfully. It’s serviceable as its own film (although knowing about Andy Dick’s sexual misconduct makes his character even more uncomfortable watching), but it’s not a good adaptation of Creature.

    As for Jackson, the whole debacle left him feeling awfully bitter at Universal, and it’s not hard to blame him for moving to Columbia, where his anti-Katzenberg rants endeared him to studio chairman Michael Eisner. Studio apathy and mismanagement had ruined what could have been a great project, and, to rub salt in the wound, the underperformance of Black Lagoon had meant that Jackson’s planned King Kong remake was on hold (it was only saved from development hell by the runway success of the second instalment of the Godzilla trilogy two years later).

    Recalling the nightmare in 2015, Jackson said, “I was pissed off at the time, but I've mellowed about it since then. That was just the way it went, rather sadly. We had a great film and a bunch of factors went against us, mostly the culture at Universal at that time. And I don’t blame Roland at all; he was just trying to make the best of a bad situation.”

    However, the story had an unexpected happy epilogue. Columbia offered Jackson a production billet on another project they had recently obtained the rights for and knew that he would be interested in: J.R.R. Tolkien's The Hobbit, with an option for a three-film adaptation of Lord of the Rings, to be directed by Guillermo del Toro. Jackson accepted.

    And the rest, as they say, is history.



    [1] Between The Andy Dick Show (a comedy sketch show/sitcom blend originally pitched under the suggestive title “The Dick Show”), Creature from the Black Lagoon, his supporting role in Zalmander, and the low-brow flop Big Dick Dingle, 1998 will be known non-affectionately as “The Summer of Dick”. Tired late night comedy jokes about “Dick overexposure” will ring extra ugly in hindsight when his history of sexual harassment surfaces.
     
    Last edited:
    Good Shepherds
  • Chapter 2: The Good Shepherd Group
    From Dis-War Two: The Great Disney Proxy Culture War of 1998, by Taylor Johnson


    “I was sitting in my garden,” said the Reverend Jerry Falwell, cofounder of Liberty University, to his congregation and others watching the special event live on Pat Robertson’s Christian Broadcasting Network, “when the Angel of the Lord took me on high into the firmament and did show unto me a great and gleaming castle. It was a beautiful edifice built by a God-fearing man in the service of traditional American values. But the Angel bade me to look closer, and I then did see the rot within. Witches and demons and heretics and adulterers and sodomites had taken the castle, and were turning it into an outpost of Babylon.”

    Falwell made clear that the castle was the famous Walt Disney Castle, and that the forces of Satan, in particular one Jim Henson, “self-avowed witch”, had taken it and were corrupting it. And it was the duty of Good Christian Men and Women to liberate it from the forces of Satan.

    Nelson Peltz sat in the audience and almost immediately began to question this alliance. The plans had started well. His acquaintance, RNC Operative and former congressman and presidential candidate Newt Gingrich, had at first put him in touch with Roger Stone, a self-proclaimed “dirty trickster” and Nixon fan, who’d spun up a shell charity and was using it to gather lots of money from various anonymous donors. An underhanded move, but apparently wholly legal. Stone also recruited Stan Kroenke to the plan, knowing that Kroenke still held a lingering grudge over the Rams being “stolen” from him by Disney. Offering Kroenke Disney’s stake in the Angels, and possibly the Avengers depending on the final monetary amount provided, was the bait needed to pull in Kroenke, and through him the wealth of the Walton family of Walmart fame. In fact, the whole Good Sports Division could be broken up and sold off to help pay down the debt and margin calls, once the 51% was secured, which helped alleviate some of the risk for the fiscally-minded investors.

    But bringing in Falwell and Robertson was something else. Peltz held some reservations about Falwell right from the start. He had a habit of picking stupid fights in the media, such as his recent attacks about the supposed sexuality of a toddler show character. He knew that Falwell in particular could easily go too far and alienate those whom he wished to court. He and Gingrich met with him, and Falwell, without the crowd to pander to, seemed fully reasonable and willing to play his part.

    And strategically, the partnership made perfect sense. Between his wealth, the wealth through Stone’s shell company, Falwell’s wealth, and the members of their flocks who would be more than happy to give over a share of their meager paychecks or Social Security checks to help “defend the Kingdom of God”, they would have plenty enough capital to break through the Castle Walls and, as Falwell put it, “seize the throne for God”.

    Peltz, who was a Secular Jew, had little use in fighting Falwell’s Conservative Christian culture war and was suspicious of Falwell’s intentions with him, despite Falwell’s assurances that he supported Peltz’s “people” in principle as men of God and fully supported the State of Israel, a question that Peltz hadn’t asked. But the outspoken Televangelist had been picking fights with Disney and Henson for years, and was thus a convenient dupe who could drum up public support from “Middle America” and help break the public relations tactics that Disney had employed so well against Robert Holmes à Court.

    They’d gain plenty of public support for their actions, too. For the last decade and a half Walt Disney Entertainment and its “hippie” Chairman had become a convenient liberal strawman in the American Culture War. The seeming political and spiritual differences between Walt Disney and Jim Henson made for a stark contrast, and thus any blame for the directions taken by Disney over the past two decades, though done in aggregate by the board of directors and internal leadership, could be conveniently laid at the feet of Henson, a “wolf among sheep” or “demon corrupting the innocent”. Perhaps they could convince Roy Disney that he in particular had been led astray, his “Dream” corrupted in the service of a Politically Correct agenda.

    Peltz thus hatched a plan to take down Henson, bring in Katzenberg as Chairman, and cement one of his own allies as the new CEO, or at least President, of Walt Disney Entertainment. He and the “Fiscal Faction” represented by Kroenke and Stone’s mostly anonymous bloc would attack Henson and Kinsey on the financial front while Falwell’s “Faith Faction” would offer a public relations attack, limiting Henson’s ability to play the victim card or spin the run as greedy Wall Street men looking for a quick buck at the expense of Walt’s “vision”. Instead, Henson would be portrayed as the threat to Walt’s vision, both financially and socially.

    To Peltz it was a path to influence on the grandest of scales and a massive accomplishment. It would likely prove very profitable too.

    To Falwell and Robertson and a select group of conservative evangelical ministers and televangelists, the plan amounted to a surgical strike to “drive the serpents from the garden”, reestablish Disney as a “moral, Christian company”, and also give “men of God” a bully pulpit by which to spread the word of the Lord (as they saw it) to the children of the world, putting an end to “sinful tales of witches and voodoo and Muslims and pagan gods” and raising them on proper Biblical narratives. And Katzenberg, despite being another Secular Jew, had delivered in this latter aspect already with The Prince of Egypt.

    Together, they created and incorporated The Good Shepherd Group.

    The plan was simple, and even mirrored the path taken by Henson himself: acquire enough Disney common stock to put representatives on the board, and then launch a Proxy Fight to oust Henson and his allies and elevate Peltz and perhaps even Falwell to the board. At first, some of the would-be investors questioned the plan. Only about 124 million shares were circulating, or roughly 25% of Outstanding Shares. Institutional investors controlled around 8% of those stocks, and would be obligated to support their client’s best financial interests, and thus would presumably back the Shepherds if they made good fiscal arguments. Combined, the Hensons and the Disneys owned 43% of the stock. Allied investors like Sid Bass, Bill Marriott, George Lucas, and Steven Spielberg owned another 16%, giving them a commanding 59%. General Electric controlled another 10.5%. Even if The Shepherds acquired all of the circulating shares, they’d be in the minority.

    And not only that, Disney had already faced a much larger existential threat in Robert Holmes à Court fifteen years earlier, and knew how to defend themselves. They’d undoubtedly improve their standing through stock buy-backs the second The Shepherds took a position.

    But Peltz had an ace up his sleeve. He knew that not all of the members of the “Round Table” coalition were fully loyal. Bill Marriott may have been a Mormon “apostate” by Falwell’s reckoning, but he fancied himself a Christian and could be open to Christian arguments, potentially putting another 5.7% into their column. Apple Computer may be willing to sell their shares, partner with Peltz for fiscal reasons, or at least stay neutral. GE was allegedly already regretting their decision to transfer NBC and Peltz already counted them in his column. The so-called “Knights Errant”, average investors who claimed special Disney benefits, who represented up to 5% of the stock holders, were also a potentially persuadable block.

    And most critically, Sid Bass was seen as particularly vulnerable. Peltz knew that Bass had been in talks with ABC in the past and that many on the Bass Brothers board, many of them Texas oil men politically allied to the GOP, could be vulnerable to influence that could put pressure on Bass. Furthermore, Bass had alienated many of them with his investments in renewable energy, which were not giving the company the promised returns. Plus, Sid alone didn’t own the stock. It was shared with his brother and father.

    “Leave the Basses to me,” said Peltz.

    And then there was his potential coup-de-grace: the Disneys themselves. Both sides of the Disney Family were conservative Republicans and Reaganites, though to Falwell of that less-than-ideal Orange County type who consorted with “perverts and sodomites” and whose standing with God in general was suspect. The two sides had fought with each other since the days of Walt and Roy. And the recent LA Rams deal had proven to be another flash point, with Roy openly opposing the deal and even causing a stir on Wall Street by voting against it. As the years had continued, Disney had invested over $300 million building a new stadium in Anaheim for the Rams, but were only making a few million per annum in merchandise sales while the Stadium work continued and the Rams played at the LA Colosseum. And as the Rams incrementally improved thanks to new draft picks like Jerome Bettis and Dwayne Johnson, their valuation improved, which was making Retlaw’s investment in them very profitable from a portfolio value standpoint (though it seemed unlikely to Peltz that Miller would ever sell his stake). This fact allowed Gold to rail at why the Disney Company was spending hundreds of millions of dollars to improve the Walt Family’s personal fortunes!

    Meanwhile, Ron and Diane Disney Miller were reportedly still angry about Roy’s opposition to the Rams deal, which they saw as petty. Diane in turn enraged Roy Disney by opposing the NBC deal. Roy saw her opposition to NBC, a “good fit” for an Entertainment Company as opposed to an NFL stadium, as a spiteful slap back over his “justified” opposition to the Rams deal.

    Only one side needed to be turned to pull another 13% over to The Shepherds, and converting both would net over 26%. With even one side in their column, presumably Bass and/or Marriott would be more likely to follow, as presumably would a critical mass of Knights Errant. 51% of Proxy support was well within reach, even with only about a predicted 15% stake for The Shepherds themselves.

    And therein lied the ultimate winning strategy: win over a Disney faction. Exploit the known divisions between the Walt and Roy children and increase the odds that one side would turn on the other and thus back the Shepherds, if only to marginalize the other. Peltz had one of his contacts reach out to Stanley Gold, Roy Disney’s financial manager at Shamrock Holdings, whom the Disney-Millers reportedly never trusted, and set up a lunch meeting. He then made sure that news of the meeting reached the Millers. Whether Gold was receptive or not, simply having it known that he’d spoken with Peltz would sew distrust among the Disneys.

    It was a solid strategy, but even so the would-be investors, a team including not just televangelists but also some conservative businessmen, big-time real estate men, conservative media people like David D. Smith of the Sinclair Broadcasting Group, and Stan Kroenke, were hesitant. They’d need to move fast, and moving fast meant taking on serious short-term debt in an era without Junk Bonds to build fast capital. Most of them would thus be acquiring stocks on Margin, hoping to reduce up-front costs. On the plus side this latter strategy reduced up-front borrowing costs and could turn a quick profit if stocks went up. On the minus side, this meant that any drop in stock price would inevitably lead to a margin call from the partnering brokerages that could spell fiscal disaster.

    The stock price was near $100 per share. Billions of dollars would be required to acquire a sufficient stake, and that meant hundreds of millions to billions of dollars in debt for some, even if they bought stocks on Margin. Interest rates were significantly lower than in the 1980s, hovering between 4-5%, but still, the interest would be crushing at that level of principal and facing a margin call, should the share price drop, could prove fatal.

    The Faith Faction was certain that the cause was righteous and thus that God would see them through, but the Finance Faction wanted assurances. They wanted “top cover” in case things went south. In particular, they wanted a very wealthy benefactor to help defray the risk.

    They would soon get their benefactor, and from the unlikeliest of places.
     
    Man in Glass Closet Throws Stones
  • Transcript of Freddie Mercury Press Conference, June 4th, 1998

    Freddie Mercury enters and stands at a podium. Cameras flash and click.

    FM: Hello, honored journalists and tabloid jackals, I am here to address the ongoing rumors in The Sun, The National Enquirer, and other such bastions of quality journalism about my personal life, in particular rumors of an ongoing “Richard Burton and Liz Taylor” type affair with my friend Elton John[1]. I have spoken at length with Elton, who is a very shy and private person at heart, and he gave his blessings for me to speak here today and to say, on behalf of us both, “fuck off, this is none of your bloody business.”

    Murmurs in the crowd, some scattered laughter.

    FM: And when we say “fuck off” you can take that absolutely literally if you so choose. Elton and I have shared a lot of the same struggles and lived similar lives. We love one another as longtime friends who have been through so many of the same trials, both being famous people thrown into the spotlight and celebrated and assaulted for who we are. He asks me only to ask you to leave him alone. I, however, stand ready to speak to you now, as I have always been happiest in the spotlight, but please leave my good friend Elton alone, you shameless, godless sods.

    Gasps and scattered, often uncomfortable laughter.

    FM: Now, despite what a certain newly-minted Baroness of Collingtree may have said, I have never “flaunted” my homosexuality. In fact, I have never spoken publicly on it at all before this moment, because it’s none of anyone’s bloody business, to be frank. I have been aware of my romantic and carnal urges, both homosexual and heterosexual, since I was a teen. I have never tried to hide who I am, even if I have not until this moment formally spoken about it in a public setting. But I will say now, without shame or embarrassment or regret, for I have nothing to be shameful, embarrassed, or regretful about, that I am indeed a queer man and always have been. In fact, I was born queer, unlike Dame Collingtree, who has chosen to live life as an arsehole. And while she may think that her latest hateful attacks carry weight because she is a newly-anointed Peer, as a lifelong Queen I frankly outrank the bitch and she can mind her bloody place.

    More shocked gasps and laughter.

    FM: Now, I open the floor for whatever questions you may have, honored journalists and tabloid jackals alike.

    Reporter: Spotswoode with The Times. Was it hard for you to, as they say, make the choice to officially “come out of the closet” as it were?

    FM: Well, the closet door was made from transparent glass to begin with, and I doubt that I have shocked or surprised anyone today. Honestly, it’s likely a big day for many gay people who still live in hiding, but for me it’s Thursday.

    Reporter: Do you feel any regret at all for living a homosexual lifestyle?

    FM: Absolutely not. My love is true love. There is nothing to be regretful or ashamed of. And as the Knights of the Garter hath long said, “Honi soit qui mal y pense.” For the sake of reporter from The Sun, that means “Shame on anyone who thinks evil of it.”

    Reporter: Is there any truth to the rumors of an affair with…

    FM: (interrupts) None of your bloody business. And feel free to quote me on that.

    Reporter: You mentioned your “love” of Elton, do you mean that lit…

    FM: (interrupts) None of your bloody business.

    Reporter: What do you say in response to claims by Michael…

    FM: (interrupts) Let me stop you there. What, pray tell, do you think my answer will be to your question?

    Reporter: Um, “none of my bloody business”, I assume?

    FM: (smiles) You nailed it on the first try, congrats, sir!

    Laughter.

    Reporter: The Times again. Is there any truth to the rumors that you have been approached by the Labour Party to run for public office?

    FM: Why in God’s name would I want to? As stated, I am a Queen. Becoming an MP would be a bit of a demotion, don’t you think?[2]

    More laughter.

    Reporter: Samantha Smith, Disney News. Can I ask you about your working relationship with the late, great Howard Ashman?

    For a brief moment Mercury is left actually speechless.

    FM: Oh my God. (pause) Howard was a genius. A great friend. One of far too many that we lost far too early. An innocent man and a victim, and sod anyone who says he was anything else. I had a very brief moment to work with Howard near the end. I’ve remained a close friend with his partner Bill, who is a wonderful soul. Their love was truer than that of a hundred heterosexual couples that I can name. (blows kiss to the heavens) Rest in peace, Howard, we love you and we miss you. In fact, let’s leave things there. Thank you, Ms. Smith. That is all.

    Cameras click and flash. Reporters shout questions over each other as a smiling Freddie Mercury winks at them, and walks away.



    [1] Thank Ms. Khan again!

    [2] Sorry, @nick_crenshaw82, no PM Mercury in this timeline!
     
    Most men would just buy a Corvette...
  • Chapter 10: A Big Name in the Big Peach
    Excerpt from Man of Iron: The Michael Eisner Story, an unauthorized biography by Anthony Edward Stark


    In the spring of 1998 Michael and Jane Eisner were in their fanciest designer formal wear, walking down the red carpet amid flashing bulbs and the calls of interviewers. They smiled and waved but kept walking and soon the press turned their attention to Dolly Parton and her husband Carl Dean as they arrived. The Eisners were at the Nederlander Theater on Broadway in New York City for the opening night of My Tennessee Mountain Home, The Musical, released in tandem with the film, and which would prove a smash success with many Tony nominations and a couple of wins.

    It was a strange homecoming for the Eisners and their old Manhattan friends alike. Tinsel Town and The Big Apple had always been two sides of the same gold-plated coin in some respects, but The Big Peach, Y’Allywood, Hotlanta, whatever you chose to call it, was a whole different world. The Eisners felt subtly out of phase with the vibe of NYC after their years at the center of the increasingly cosmopolitan and yet uniquely New South Atlanta social scene, which moved like “Sequined Molasses,” (slow, steady, sweet, and stylish) to quote Jane Eisner. Instead, their old friends treated them like strange doppelgangers (“Wait, did you just say ‘Y’all’?”). Even so, the very fact that he’d reached such a level of power and influence in his new home and industry, despite individual New York opinions about Atlanta, meant that he still commanded attention and respect (“Y’all heard me right, then!”).

    And if New York and Hollywood were forced to respect them despite their “exile”, The Big Peach had adopted the Eisners as paragons of the New South. Jane in particular got involved in local causes, becoming a prime mover alongside Jane Fonda in supporting Coretta Scott King, the local NAACP, and local business interests (who were suffering branding difficulties) in lobbying for a change to the Georgia State Flag. The ultimate coalition between the Black community, Progressive politicians, the film industry, and Libertarian-leaning financiers and white-collar Atlanta Suburbanites ultimately succeeded, despite a ferocious counter-campaign led by Newt Gingrich, to remove the Confederate Battle Flag portion in 2002, resulting in the current flag with the Georgia “Three Pillars” seal on a simple blue background, which was ironically also the original flag prior to Jim Crow.

    However, events would soon split up the Janes when Jane Fonda filed for divorce against Turner citing infidelity and emotional distress, ultimately moving back to LA. Turner and Fonda’s marriage had been a rollercoaster of emotions from the start, driven by passions both amorous and acrimonious. Jane Eisner had heard Fonda complaining for months about her husband’s many indiscretions and how she reluctantly tolerated them. Turner and Fonda would occasionally get in loud fights. And starting in 1996 when Turner was consumed by the ups and downs and stresses of the Atlanta Olympics and all but forced Jane Fonda to be personally active in supporting them, the stresses of the already tumultuous relationship became increasingly unbearable. The two separated briefly in 1997 and then got back together only for continued infidelities and lingering resentments to drive a wedge so deep that even the best marriage counselors in Atlanta, New York, and LA couldn’t bridge the gap.

    irretrievably-broken-1662484648.jpg

    Who says the magic is gone? (Image source Grunge)

    In January of 1998 after an ugly falling out over Christmas, Jane filed for divorce[1]. Tabloids picked up the story and ran with it in a nasty media feeding frenzy with allegations of affairs and fights all over the newspapers. The two divorced amicably after an undisclosed but reportedly extremely high payout to Fonda, but still the headlines continued, with stories heavy with rumor and innuendo but light in actual fact. Only persistent rumors of a gay affair between Freddie Mercury and Elton John drove the Turner/Fonda stories from the pages, which were soon eclipsed in turn when Freddy formally outed himself. Columbia employees recalled it as a “dark time” where Turner was “even more argumentative and short tempered than normal.”

    And the Eisners, while not exactly caught up in the middle (Turner and Fonda never tried to force them to choose sides), still found themselves caught in the “blast radius” and beset themselves by aggressive Paparazzi fishing for dirt. Jane Eisner found herself trying to comfort her friend Jane Fonda while Michael found himself trying to talk around the issue with Ted, whose foul mood was making him volatile and prone to rash and ill-considered actions. Eisner more than once had to play damage control after Turner made a hasty decision, controversial statement, or reneged on an earlier deal. “It’s all that I can do to keep him from trying to buy up UA again or some other whim,” he told one employee.

    In the meantime, Eisner buried himself in his work, which provided a good way to avoid the increasingly domineering and tumultuous Turner. Hoping to distract Turner from his troubles, Eisner made a new production deal with Dolly Parton and Andy Griffith for a made-for-TV film featuring Griffith as a likeable but racist grandfather trying to come to terms with the fact that his beloved granddaughter Miriam (Brittany Murphy) is engaged to a black man, an Atlanta hip hop producer named Terry (Mos Def). “It’s basically Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner, but from the perspective of the racist having to confront his racism,” Griffith said of the film, which gained him an Emmy nomination.

    The Hobbit was also in filming, with Guillermo del Toro and Peter Jackson in New Zealand. Eisner asked his son Breck to keep an eye on costs. But the news was not good in that respect. They were spending tens of millions building sets and armor. Del Toro’s perfectionism combined with Jackson’s almost obsessive intent to stay true to Tolkien’s vision were filling up the film reels. WETA Digital was spending lots of money trying to upgrade their resources to handle the necessary effects. And Eisner developed an acute case of anxiety as memories of The Postman came flooding back.

    Thankfully, production on Eastwood’s No Return, a film about the Doolittle Raid, was proceeding well, on time and in budget. It would screen to success in 1999. Lucifer’s Hammer was likewise in production, but a dispute was forming between director Roland Emmerich and producer Richard Zanuck over whether to follow the elements of the novel: a survival drama that follows life after a comet strikes the earth, or rewrite it into an action sci-fi where a ragtag band of misfits must land on the comet and destroy it with drills and nukes to save the day. Author Larry Niven was incensed at the proposed changes and nearly sued to take back the film rights.

    The Velveteen Rabbit would screen to disappointing numbers but Oscar gold in 1999 and soon Bluth’s next production, Ruler of the Roost, based loosely upon the French stories of Chanticleer the Rooster and Reynard the Fox, was in animation, much to Francophile Eisner’s delight. It featured Belgian actor and (unbeknownst to Eisner) singer Jean-Claude Van Damme voicing Chanticleer, the cocky rooster who believes that his crowing is what makes the sun rise, only to be humiliatingly disabused of this notion. He instead heads to 1920s Paris for a Jazz singing career, represented by the shady agent Reynard the Fox, voiced by Eddie Murphy. It was scheduled for release in 2001.

    On the TV front Tartikoff had been approached by Don Johnson and Carlton Cuse for a new police procedural comedy/drama that was marketed as “Starsky and Hutch have a midlife crisis”. Set in San Francisco and starring Johnson as Detective Nash Burns and Cheech Marin as his partner Manny Mundo, two SFPD partners dealing with the changing society around them and their own dysfunctional-because-of-them private lives, The World Burns became a success that went on to influence numerous other works going forward. The show was both a subtle exploration of the changes in society over the last two decades and the changes in entertainment, being in many ways a deconstruction of the “cowboy cop” tropes of the 1970s as two such cops come to terms with their past actions. After a couple of false starts, the series finally aired in the fall of 1997.

    As summer rolled around and the divorce papers were finalized, Turner started to return to normal, or so Eisner thought. And then Turner took him and CBS head Brandon Tartikoff into his office with a big announcement. “I’m going to grab a piece of the Mouse.”

    Word on the street was that someone, nobody yet knew whom, was making a play on Disney. Turner, it turned out, did know: a partnership between Norman Peltz and a bizarre alliance of Venture Capitalists, Hedge Fund managers, Broadcast Network groups, and Televangelists, of all people. Turner didn’t know their full plans, but he saw an opportunity in the impending chaos. “Whatever happens here, we have a chance to pinch off a share in the aftermath,” he told them.

    Both Eisner and Tartikoff warned him not to be too hasty. Tartikoff specifically warned him that FCC regulators would consider it a conflict of interest for the owner of CBS to have a stake in the company that owned rival NBC. Plus, he warned, the board of directors wouldn’t like this risky plan. Eisner told him that in his experience Disney was solid. “These guys fought off ACC, if you recall, and from a much worse position. I tried to pry Sid Bass’s stake away for ABC when I was there,” said Eisner. “It was a no-sale. Between the Disneys and the Hensons they have it all but wrapped up by themselves, and Bass and Marriott will be very unlikely to break ranks.”

    “Then I’ll Greenmail ‘em!”

    “This isn’t the 1980s, Ted,” Tartikoff warned. “I doubt that the Disney board will respond well to threats. I really don’t see what you expect to get here.”

    “As much of MGM as I can,” Turner replied. “And whatever else I can pry out of whoever I can when the shit eventually hits the fan.

    “Trust me,” Turner added, “I have a plan.”

    Eisner and Tartikoff realized that there was no talking him out of this. Eisner openly asked Tartikoff after the meeting if he thought that Turner was having a post-divorce breakdown ("most men would just buy a Corvette"). “Or is this about the Our Southern Cause thing?” he asked, referring to the Hyperion historical comedy that appeared to openly mock both Turner and his Confederate sympathies. But as “loyal lieutenants” they endeavored to do their best to carry out his orders and mitigate the risks to the company and, if possible, keep Turner from completely going off the rails and jeopardizing the company itself.

    So, they set out to make Turner’s “grab for the Mouse” as viable as possible within realistic limits. They had the CFO’s office run the numbers and determined that trying to grab much more than a 5% stake would be far too financially risky. Columbia was solvent, but not running a massive surplus. Interest rates were down, but picking up a ton of debt was far from optimal and could negatively impact share prices. 5% would cost over $2.2 billion at current market rates, which was a workable debt load. Worst case, they could flip their shares and not see Columbia lose too much on the deal. And if it failed, then Turner would be the one taking the blame.

    Besides, they both figured, if Turner overplayed his hand and the board sought to remove him, they’d be the likely beneficiaries of any leadership vacuum at the top.



    Stocks at a Glance: Walt Disney Entertainment (DIS)

    June 25th, 1998

    Stock price: $99.53

    Major Shareholders: Henson family (19.2%), Roy E. Disney family (12.7%), Disney-Miller family (12.7%), General Electric (10.5%), Sid Bass (8.7%), Bill Marriott (5.7%), Amblin Entertainment (1.2%), Apple Comp. (0.7%), Lucasfilm Ltd. (0.5%), Suspected “Knights Errant” (4.9%), Shepherd Group (3.2%) Other (20%; ~8% Institutional Investors)

    Outstanding shares: 498.6 million



    [1] They held out until 2001 in our timeline. Here, Mo’ Money = Mo’ Problems as Turner juggles all of the stresses of Columbia, CBS, the Olympics, and the parks and tries to take charge of all of it himself.
     
    The Mouth from the South
  • Chapter 3: The Mouth from the South
    From Dis-War Two: The Great Disney Proxy Culture War of 1998, by Taylor Johnson


    In early June, The Shepherds were approached by a lawyer claiming to represent Ted Turner of Columbia Entertainment. They’d gotten word through the grapevine that there were designs on Disney, and Ted “wanted in.” They arranged a visit.

    At first, The Shepherds were nonplussed. The overtly political members were upset at his liberal swing since his marriage to “Hanoi Jane”. And the Faith Faction distrusted his sudden assertions that he’d “found God.”

    “Look,” he said to the assembled Shepherds. “I should have listened to you. That bitch,” meaning Fonda, whom he’d recently divorced following a cheating scandal that lit up the tabloids, “is out of her mind. The vile temptress led me astray. But I’m back in the fold.”

    Still, The Shepherds had doubts. “Look,” Turner said finally. “If you don’t trust that I’ve changed my ways, then trust that I will never pass up a golden opportunity to make money, or cripple a rival.” Turner offered them a deal: he’d work separately and help them seize control of Disney. In exchange, he’d claim “the whole of MGM: logo, films old and new, studios, park rights, you name it. Even Hyperion and some pieces of NBC I like, all in exchange for my accumulated shares. And if you fail, we can talk merger or exchanges to take the debt off of you. Or I can buy up shares to put a floor under the drop.”

    This latter aspect won him numerous supporters from the Fiscal Faction. It was exactly what they’d asked for: top cover. Even with a minority stake they could still conceivably steer Disney and make some money, assuming they could dump some of the burdensome short-term debt and avoid margin calls.

    The Faith Faction, though still dubious of his claims to salvation, still saw in him “an unwitting instrument of God,” and thus agreed to the deal.

    The Shepherds by this point had already launched their strike, quickly acquiring 3.2% of the shares by the end of June through a pooling of liquid resources the various members gained through margin buys, short term loans, and liquidation of assets. Turner, however, struck out on his own. “If I’m seen as a part of this coalition,” he told them, “It will limit my flexibility. I have to be seen as neutral.”

    Disney reacted to the sudden uptick in stock sales with confusion. Why was someone making a big play now? They weren’t particularly vulnerable or undervalued. Instead, accusations flew between the Disneys, each of whom suspected that the other was trying to increase their stake vis-à-vis the other. Stanley Gold openly admitted that he had met with a representative from Peltz, but claimed that he told them Roy wasn’t interested, calling it “a very short meeting.” But Diane Disney Miller, who’d never trusted Gold, was skeptical and met with Retlaw’s legal and financial advisors to consider their options. Henson ran interference and tried to calm both sides, working to arbitrate the meeting, but he could tell that there was growing mutual suspicion, telling his daughter Cheryl “the old wounds are opening up, and it’s getting harder to stem the bleeding.”

    Instead, he organized a stock-buying rally: he, both Disney factions, and other members of the Round Table would work together to buy up shares themselves and improve their position, and the board agreed to initiate stock buybacks through the company in a Poison Pill strategy. Spielberg and George Lucas were on board, the latter in a good financial situation with the ongoing success of the latest Star Wars film in particular. Bass regretfully declined, citing internal financial issues and Marriott preferred not to buy more stock, though he did pledge his support to the current executives, citing his “meteoric return on investment” under their leadership. GE simply stated that it would act “in accordance with the best interests of our shareholders,” which was interpreted as a statement of neutrality in any coming battles.

    Meanwhile, Peltz’s contacts had worked their sinister magic on Sid Bass, who was facing direct challenges on the Bass Brothers board of directors and facing margin calls on several of his renewable energy stocks. Bass promised to consider their offers.

    Turner took advantage of liquid funds following the recent successes in the studios, CBS, and parks, and snagged a 5% stake in Disney.

    The stocks kept selling and the price kept climbing. Notably absent from the scramble, for the most part, were the Arbitragers or “Arbs”, who’d been a notable and unpredictable presence in the 1984 hostile takeover attempt. Infamous Arb and Greenmailer Saul Steinberg, upon being asked about his plans, simply called it a “culture clash proxy fight by activist investors” and “of no personal advantage for me.” Other Arbs indicated similar position. There was no likelihood of any takeover here, perhaps just some change in board members, and any potential spoils were hardly worth the price of gaining a notable stake. A few happily made some minor very-short-term investments just for “day trading” on the rising price, and a few took shorts in anticipation of an eventual price drop, but there would be no “Piggie vs. Piggie” moments in this drama.

    Even so, by the middle of July, with stock prices breaking $100/share, The Good Shepherd Group filed a Schedule 13D with the SEC claiming 6% of Outstanding shares as “an investment”, on top of the 5% now controlled by rival Columbia Entertainment. Together they would have influence, though they were not yet an immediate existential threat.

    The big question for the Disney board became: what is the plan here?



    Stocks at a Glance: Walt Disney Entertainment (DIS)

    July 19th, 1998

    Stock price: $101.44

    Major Shareholders: Henson family (19.3%), Roy E. Disney family (12.8%), Disney-Miller family (12.9%), General Electric (10.5%), Bass Brothers (8.7%), Bill Marriott (5.7%), Amblin Entertainment (1.3%), Apple Comp. (0.7%), Lucasfilm Ltd. (0.7%), Suspected “Knights Errant” (4.9%), Shepherd Group (6.4%), Columbia Entertainment (5%), Other (11.1%; ~8% Institutional Investors)

    Outstanding shares: 498.6 million
     
    A Long Relationship
  • Posting early, since I have a very long day tomorrow and Wednesday! Enjoy!


    Chapter 20: So, I Married a Dragon…
    A Guest Post for the Riding with the Mouse Net-log by animator Andreas Deja


    With the completion of principal animation on The Swan Princess, Richard Rich was tagged for more Richie Rich work. But Jim and Roy wanted more from me, so I was partnered with Rob Minkoff after his co-director on The Lion King Glen Keane was promoted to Creative Vice President for Feature Animation.

    The instructions that Roy and Jim had for us were simple: “something Chinese”. The People’s Republic was opening up under Qiao Shi and there was a desire to tap into that growing market while also expanding the scope of the Disney Princess line for Bo Boyd. We met with some Chinese mythology experts and came to Roy and Jim with a few options. At first the Moon Princess Chang’e seemed a natural, but it was a limited story and was superficially too much like the Japanese Bamboo Princess, who also came from the moon. The tragic Butterfly Lovers was a very short and simple tragic tale, so that was a no-go (maybe for WED-Sig), and their relationship also had superficial resemblance to Aladdin and Abbi in the “she’d dressed like a guy and they fell in love after the reveal” thing. Similar problems killed a story based on Fa Mulan, which honestly had a lot of epic potential.

    To be honest, I was starting to think that Roy was taking some of the evangelical complaints about Aladdin and The Little Mermaid seriously, particularly since he kept mentioning that we didn’t need “another crossdressing story”.

    “You know I’m perfectly fine with gay people,” Roy said [1], “but we do have a family reputation to uphold.”

    I love you Roy, I really do.

    The Princess Kwan-Yin seemed a natural at first, with a pure-of-heart Princess rejecting an arranged marriage and being put to work by wicked nuns. She even had friendly forest animals to help her! But it was not very action heavy and a bit too much like “The Swan Princess meets Cinderella” and there was a fear that it would look like we were just resting on our laurels. Jim wanted us to push the boundaries.

    That at first led us to The Legend of Lady White Snake, which has nothing to do with an all-female ‘80s hair metal cover band, Jim’s bad dad jokes non-withstanding.

    640px-Long_Gallery-Legend_white_snake.JPG

    The Legend of Lady White Snake (image source Wikipedia)

    The story had lived on and evolved over the centuries, from the tale of a monk defeating a seductive and evil snake spirit that had enchanted a prince into a story of forbidden love that cast the snake lady and her husband as the heroes and victims of the monk’s jealousy and bigotry. It seemed perfect and we had some great storyboards.

    The problem was, of course, that John Musker and Ron Clements were already in production on Medusa, which recast her and Perseus as lovers rather than opponents! That was a rock opera and we could have taken things in a different direction there, but no…we were stuck.

    We re-pitched Fa Mulan, but Roy still wasn’t having it.

    Besides, we all remembered hearing about how much the Chinese complained about Mask of the Monkey King for getting their stories wrong.

    In short, we needed something original.

    We did notice some patterns and common motifs in Chinese legends. There were a lot of legends of tragic, forbidden romances, often between a celestial being and a mortal. There were often fantastic beasts like Dragons and Qilins and mystic snakes who could take human form. That seemed like a place to take things.

    What about a Dragon Princess? Just the name had potential. There was a legend of a Dragon’s Daughter gifting an Emperor with magic pearls, but perhaps a celestial dragon princess who falls for a poet? Something inspired by White Snake Lady, but a different, original story.

    The Poet and the Dragon was thus born.

    No connection to the Miyazawa Kenji novel The Dragon and the Poet, whose existence we learned about much later, and which is a totally different story. Also, there is no truth to the rumors that we took our name from the Chinese film The Warrior Poet, though its success did help us push back against those who feared the name would alienate audiences.

    But Marketing still hated the name. “No kid will want to see something about poetry!” they said. But since the proposed alternate names were awful (“My Girlfriend the Dragon”? Really?) the working title became the final title and frankly didn’t seem to make a difference.

    So, to keep things very much different from Medusa, we made the Dragon Princess Longzhu (literally “Dragon Pearl”) an outgoing girly free spirit instead of a tragic romantic and our poet-philosopher Meng Yun (“Dream Cloud” – this was years before the mattress company, mind you!) a melancholic dreamer rather than a warrior. He’d be a hopeless romantic struggling to keep his spirits up in the drudgery of the bureaucracy while dreaming of more. She’d appear in his life, sew chaos, they’d fall in love, and run afoul of the Celestial Order by loving one another, with dangerous consequences.

    Nowadays they call Longzhu a “Magic Dragon Girlfriend”, even saying that we even named [2] the trope! But that trope never applied, because Longzhu had her own dreams and desires and was more than an empty wish fulfilment fantasy and living plot device for the guy, like in the many copycat films that came later.

    Instead, this was a simple “opposites attract” love story, and built on equal terms, I might add. With romantic music by Stephen Schwartz and Alan Menken, naturally, with Yo Yo Ma on board to help with the musical arrangement and East/West mix. While rather classically Broadway, they none the less used Chinese traditional instrumentation, timing, and keys to give it a Chinese feel, which meant “working between the notes” and Schwartz put it, since the Chinese use entirely different musical scales than the West.

    631006_01.jpg

    From The Cowherd’s Flute (1963) (Image source Annency.org)

    And we the artists, having seen the old Chinese animated feature The Cowherd's Flute among others as part of our research, all fell in love with the art style, which quoted old Chinese ink and watercolor scrolls and painted screens. We decided to mimic that style to a degree, but in a distinctly Disney way, sort of a hybrid between East and West, sort of like some of the transitions in The Bamboo Princess. We learned the art of Chinese painting and travelled to China for research and initial concept art, which was an adventure in its own right!

    Then came the cast and characterization, which we developed together so that they could inform one another in an organic way.

    Meng, voiced by Jonathan Ke Quan with singing by Donny Osmond, became a creative young man with a poetic heart who struggles with the drudgery of working in the Imperial Bureaucracy, with an obnoxious and abusive boss Zhengfangxing (literally “square”), voiced by James Hong. We introduce Meng in the mechanistic and droning opening song “Celestial Order” timed by the metronome-like clacking of abacus beads, a clumsy man out of step with the clocklike rhythm of the other bureaucrats working at their desks. Eventually his lyrics, which play in flowing counterpoint to the staccato chorus of bureaucrats (kind of like in the song “Inchworm” that Jim loves so much), break away, becoming his “I Want”, which speaks to a desire for a philosophical connection to the greater Celestial Order that goes beyond the bureaucratic and into the divine and transcendent. “A Celestial Love” is a critical foreshadowing line.

    This song then carries us up past white clouds and into the stars of the Heavens and up to the young dragon Longzhu, voiced by Lucy Liu with singing by Lea Salonga. She starts to sing her own flowing version of the song as she flies through the clouds and among the stars, the Celestial Bureaucrats (various mythical creatures) mirroring the chorus of the Earthly Bureaucrats. She is the eldest daughter of the Mountain Dragon Shan Long (George Cheung) and has a pithy younger sister Longhua (Dragon Flower, voiced and sung by Ming-Na Wen). Longzhu sings her own “I Want” lyrics, of wanting something real, a connection to the “Heart of the Earth” and meaning beyond the bureaucratic work of running the heavens and making the planets rotate and the stars flare and the moon wax and wane.

    With this song we link them and their desires, but also set them apart. We deliberately used Yin and Yang concepts with the black and empty Yin-like heavens and the busy, organized, life-filled Yang-like earth. And while Longzhu is a female (Yin) from a Yin-like place, she has that “spot” of Yang in her lively demeanor: playful and romantic and upbeat, and chaotic on the outside like Yin, but with a Yang-like warmth and light and need for purpose at her heart. This plays against Meng’s melancholic, morose nature, a man in love with life and beauty and other Yang-things and part of a structured Confucian order, but with a touch of the coldness and emptiness of the Yin at his heart. The suggestion is that as Yin and Yang together they complete each other. And yet both together have the fatal flaw of being impractical dreamers in a hyper-organized Confucian universe where “everyone and everything have their place,” as both Zhengfangxing and Shan Long like to say.

    So Meng wanders into the mountains with his chirping pet cricket, which he calls Jie Mei Ni or (roughly) “little sister who hides” (but sound it out yourself for an Easter egg!) and exposits to her about how much the mountains mean to him since they remind him of the Heavens. Longzhu, meanwhile, ignores her sister’s warnings not to mingle with “those below” and descends to Earth and blissfully flies through those same mountains, always just outside of Meng’s sight as he exposits. At one point he notices her flying by and tells the cricket, “Oh my, a dragon! It is very good luck to see a dragon!”

    He then sits before the setting sun over a beautiful lake, pulls out some ink and paper, and starts to write a romantic poem about the sunset, narrating it to the largely disinterested Jie Mei Ni, who manages to make a chirp feel like an exasperated sigh (thanks to the great Frank Welker). As Meng recites, Longzhu appears behind him, terrifying the cricket, but Meng is oblivious as this huge dragon hovers above him, listening to his recited poem. She seems intrigued, and ultimately assumes a human form as a beautiful young woman, just as he turns around.

    dragon.jpg

    Something like this, but with a young, clean-shaven man (Image source “weingartdesign.com”)

    She approaches in a friendly manner, but he’s nervous and embarrassed and acts afraid. While she wants to hear more and asks him to read her more, he keeps trying to avoid her eyes and ultimately comes up with an excuse and runs away with a shriek. We played it a little ironic: when he saw her as a dragon and was enthralled and happy, but when he sees her as a beautiful woman, he is terrified, in reverse of the usual trope of falling for the beauty and being afraid of the beast.

    But she is now curious about this strange poet, and pines away to her little sister that she wants to find out more about him, which sister Longhua snarkishly tells her is dumb and beneath her station. “Dad would kill you, sis.”

    And while they talk, the demonic King Yan of the underworld (Mako) is watching all through a magic portal, and tells his thin and glutinous minion E Gui (Phil Fondacaro doing his best Peter Lorre) that this is the perfect opportunity to shake up the Celestial Order and “bring forth a new era of terror and darkness,” with a maniacal laugh like only Mako can do.

    7089473-aku_%281%29.jpg

    Actually, quite a bit like this… (Image Gamespot)

    So we return to Meng, who has returned to his desk where Zhengfangxing admonishes him to pay attention. Zhengfangxing teaches Meng and the other bureaucrats the correct hanzi characters for the scrolls they are making for the Daoist monks, who will use the incantations to banish ghosts, but Meng is finding it hard to focus, having visions of the strange woman he met in the mountains. As he leaves the building, he bumps into her. She smiles. He smiles. He screams and runs away.

    This leads into the “Worlds Apart” duet, which plays during a montage of her seeking him out, and surprising him in various locations. It serves as a falling in love montage, where Meng ultimately throws away his abacus, pulls Zhengfangxing’s hat down around his eyes and runs away laughing with Longzhu and they appear ready to live happily ever after.

    And here’s one of those moments where Real Life came in. Originally, we were going with the usual sappy, happy sunshine and cute music montage with Happiness Eternal as they Fall in Love. But hearing from Terrell about the ongoing drama in his personal life (albeit the typical minor and pedestrian “you annoy the one you love” stuff rather than anything relationship-threatening) I insisted that we add some unhappy moments for our couple, some hard-times Yin to balance the happy-times Yang. So, in addition to sharing an accidental hand-touch or Perfect Moment with Birds and Carp by the pond, we’d have him say something (soundless behind the montage) and her get angry and dump a bowl of rice on his head. Or him freaking out because she straightened up his messy room and now his things are out of order. We wanted those little complications to add verisimilitude to the relationship. It was something that I learned from Miyazaki-san.

    So, by the time the montage is done we (hopefully) have you convinced that this love is real and meaningful. But Longzhu’s father Shan Long soon finds out from her sister what has happened and he is furious. He flies down and confronts them, but she rejects his admonishments to return to the heavens and she transforms back into a dragon and carries a terrified and confused Meng away in her mouth as her father screams after her.

    Meng seems at first shocked by her appearance as a dragon, screaming as she carries him through the sky. And initially, once she sets him down and tells him the situation, he freaks out. “I can’t marry a dragon!! It’s against the Celestial Order! My family would never approve!!” Then there’s a moment of coming-to, recognizing the reality of the situation, and, finally, an acceptance and catharsis:

    “So…you’re the dragon I saw that day, aren’t you?”

    “Um…yes,” she says. “Is that ok?”

    “Um…” says Meng, and after a tense pause: “Yea. It’s OK. I mean, it’s still you in there, right?”

    To this day I take particular pleasure in slipping in one of the most subtle queer coded scenes in Disney history. Poor Roy managed to avoid “another crossdressing story” by refusing Fa Mulan, but he unknowingly got instead one hell of a Trans love story!

    And as a bonus Rob even found a team of young animators who made us a Short telling the story of Fa Mulan to play before the film!

    HD-wallpaper-frumusete-green-luminos-litter-monster-asian-man-chinese-dragon-red-thumbnail.jpg

    Something like this (Image source “peakpx.com”)

    And speaking of disapproving patriarchs, Shan Long is both infuriated and scared for his daughter, fearing that the Celestial Order will not approve of this “disharmonious” relationship. And that is when he is approached by King Yan, who in the menacing song “Hearts and Minds” sells Shan Long a mystical potion that will constrain her “stubbornness” and have her obey him “like a proper daughter”.

    But as Yan exposits to E Gui after the fact, in part through a darker reprise of “Hearts and Minds”, in truth the potion will separate her eternal Chi from her external form, resulting in an empty shell. Yan, in turn, will claim her Chi (and by extension her soul), giving him, along with his shelf full of jade jars containing other creatures’ and mortals’ Chi, great powers with which he can challenge the Celestial Order and remake the Heavens and Earth in his own diabolical image. “The Chi of a Dragon shall make me…unstoppable!” Cue maniacal laugh.

    And oh, my lord, Mako’s singing! So not professional, but so over-the-top awesome!!

    Anyway, Shan Long, now planning on slipping his daughter the potion “for her own good”, pretends to have a change of heart and invites Meng and his daughter into his abode in the Heavens, just wanting to “make sure” that his daughter is “happy and harmonious”. Meng is scared and suspicious and younger sister Longhua is irritated about who’s coming to dinner, but Longzhu is ecstatic and shrieking in naïve joy. This leads to the obligatory Awkward Dinner with the Family, made all the more awkward given that Meng as a human can’t eat the bizarre mystical food of dragons (“Is there something wrong with your eternally burning pearls of celestial fire?” “I, um…have trouble handling, um, spicy foods”) and given that Longhua keeps bullying and intimidating him (“Come on, sis, can’t I have just one little bite?”). As hijinks ensue (such as an assumption by the shaggy Qilin chef, voiced by Tommy Chong, that Meng intended to eat his cricket rather than just feed it; “why didn’t you just say so, man?”), sister Longhua, though unimpressed by the clumsy “mortal”, starts to see the love in her sister’s eyes and Meng’s alike and, in a heartwarming sister moment punctuated by the duet “Devotion”, gives her blessing to the union.

    Shan Long starts to warm to Meng as well, punctuated by their own lyrics for “Devotion”, but still fearing the Celestial repercussions of the marriage, reluctantly slips the potion into his daughter’s tea, singing his own ironic closing lines to “Devotion”.

    Needless to say, the many meanings and interpretations of the word “devotion” play out in the song.

    Now heartbreak ensues as Longzhu drinks from the spiked tea that her father gives her and her Chi/soul slips out of her mouth in a jade-green cloud just out of her dad’s sight. The Chi sinks down through the Earth and into King Yan’s realm in Diyu and is soon imprisoned in a jade jar by a laughing King Yan, and added to the many other identical jars on his infernal shelf.

    Longzhu’s empty body, now the perfect, demure, obedient daughter to Shan Long, politely acquiesces to her father’s demands and passionlessly tells a heartbroken Meng that they cannot be together.

    396px-The_Outer_Yama_Dharmaraja._Central_region%2C_Tibet._Mid_17-th_century._Private_Collection.jpg

    King Yan

    A shocked and suspicious Longhua now carries a devastated Meng back to the Earth. He, alone with his cricket again, sings the heartrending “An Empty Heart” and Longhua sings her own suspicious version seeing her supposed sister as the early second act ends in tears.

    This midpoint gave us the moment where the themes established in Celestial Order are reflected and commented upon. Pursuit of an established idea of “Order” has led Shan Long to betray his daughter and take away her agency while simultaneously (and ironically) giving the evil King Yan the very tools he needs to overturn the Celestial Order.

    This leads into the second half of the story, starting in the Heavens, where Shan Long seems superficially happy with his newly obedient and “perfectly harmonious” daughter Longzhu. But his younger daughter Longhua is furious with him. “You did something to her!” she accuses, ignoring his denials. She soon discovers the truth when he sees her father arguing with E Gui, who informs him that King Yan now demands his obedience in “the coming war”, or he will claim Shan Long’s Chi too. Shan Long learns, as does the eavesdropping Longhua, that Longzhu’s soul belongs to King Yan now, “freely given” in tribute by her own father.

    Longhua gasps and as E Gui vanishes, she confronts her father, who admits to everything. Longhua is irate and tells him to join her in going into Diyu, the land of the dead and damned, and retrieve his daughter’s Chi. But Shan Long states that no Celestial may enter the realm. “Then I will find someone who can!” she says, and flies off. As Shan Long stands in shock, mouth agape, the empty shell of Longzhu appears and politely but vacuously offers him Baozi and tea.

    Longhua flies to Meng and tells him everything. Though a normally a scared and hesitant person, he pledges to her that “the fires of the underworld cannot keep me from my love.” Suddenly in Action Hero mode, he hands her the cricket cage and walks boldly through the portal to Diyu that Longhua creates for him. Suddenly, surrounded by demons and fires as the portal closes behind him, he starts to rethink his impulsive decisions and runs shrieking.

    The newly all-powerful King Yan, meanwhile, ascends from Diyu and into the Heavens, a powerful, flaming giant in a nod to “A Night on Bald Mountain” in Fantasia with the score giving us chords to match. He confronts the Celestial Powers, and brushes aside their forces, declaring himself Celestial Emperor. And “no one can stop me!”

    This is where the animators had their challenge. We mixed hand-drawn/digitally inked and painted animation with CG, particularly to control the many Celestial Warriors assaulting the giant King Yan. The flow worked very well, and was reasonably cost-effective while being dynamic and visually beautiful on the big screen. The bright blue of King Yan’s flames played well against the cold darkness of the heavens, the dark sides of Yin and Yang expressed visually…or so we hope.

    800px-Ten_Courts_of_Hell_Display_at_Bao_Gong_Temple%2C_Singapore..jpg

    The Ten Courts of Diyu (needless to say, the Disney version is far less gruesome)

    We transition back to Meng, who we follow, to the song “Fires Inside”, as he dodges demons and monsters and ghosts amid the blue flames of the infernal land. The chorus of Tortured Souls is mechanistic in a reflection of the bureaucrats’ chorus in “Celestial Order” as he sings his determined song in counterpoint. We took great inspiration from Chinese artwork in its depiction of the hell-like land of the dead.

    Sneaking past various infernal guards and forces, Meng finally reaches King Yan’s abode, with all of the Chi Jars in front of him, in apparent triumph, when E Gui appears before him.

    “Hello, tasty morsel!” says E Gui.

    Where the Heavens were warm colors, oranges and golds with a touch of soft blue, the Underworld is all blues and silvers, butane-blue flames and grey and black smoke wit ha touch of harsh blood red. Again, Yin-Yang symbolism was central to our art direction.

    Back in the Heavens, all are cowering before King Yan, who has defeated all the armies of Heaven, with the color pallet symbolically shifting into the blues and silvers and away from the orange and gold. But one being stands up to him: Longhua. She challenges him to single combat for the throne. He laughs, and proceeds to attack her with literal hellfire, which she struggles to avoid. She finally manages to bite him, drawing black blood, but he starts to blast her with his fire, pulling her Chi from her. Suddenly, hearing his daughter’s cries across the Heavens, Shan Long rushes in, confronting Yan and offers his own Chi in return for that of both of his daughters. King Yan, agrees…to take all of their Chi! He is soon pulling out Shan Long’s Chi as well, laughing maniacally as only Mako can.

    You’ve got to see the special features of Mako recording his lines if you haven’t already!

    Back in Diyu, Meng is fleeing around Yan’s lair from E Gui, but as he throws or swings things, they pass right through the incorporeal ghost, who assures Meng that this will not prevent E Gui from devouring him alive. Meng then remembers the calligraphy that he had to make for Zhengfangxing, the special phrase for the Daoist priests to chase away ghosts. He strains his memory and remembers the chant, which he recites after a few clumsy takes. This causes E Gui to distort and disappear with a pop. Approaching the shelves, unsure which of the hundreds of jars contains Longzhu’s Chi, he just starts smashing them all, freeing soul after soul in ascending jade-green clouds.

    In the Heavens, Yan is pulling the Chi away from Shan Long and Longhua, when suddenly he shrinks slightly as a slight puff of green smoke escapes from his mouth with a burp. This happens again and again and again, until jade clouds billow relentlessly from his toothy maw (I took a poetry class for this assignment, can you tell? 😉). We cut between Diyu and the Heavens as each soul released by Meng leaves Yan smaller and weaker.

    We get a montage of various beings and creatures having their souls restored, and regaining some measure of personal autonomy, including many of the beat-down human bureaucrats, including Zhengfangxing himself!!

    Eventually, Meng smashes Longzhu’s jar. Her Chi form appears before him, smiles and vanishes into the air. We now follow her Chi as it darts up to her home in the Heavens, bolts back into her vacant body’s mouth, and suddenly Longzhu is awake…and pissed (we had a lot of fun with the transforming facial expressions from vacuous cheer to absolute rage there!).

    Back in Diyu, Meng is smashing the last of the Chi jars when a portal appears and Longzhu’s arm appears and yanks him through into the Heavens. Soon he is on her shoulders flying through the clouds and stars, joined by a whole army of other celestial creatures, who thank Meng for freeing them. They rush in and surround the now small and weak King Yan. As Longzhu rushes to embrace her father and sister, the other restored souls descend in a circle upon Yan, who screams “no! No! Please! I beseech you for mercy! NOOO!!!” as they approach. We pan away as Something Bad happens to him just off camera.

    The final confrontation was designed to be the culmination of the prior actions: Meng’s self-actualization, Shan Long’s repentance, Longhua’s devotion, and Longzhu’s re-empowerment. And Yan’s deserved punishment, of course. We overtly worked to make each of the main characters multidimensional and self-actualizing, with Longzhu’s loss of self being the greatest crime that we see. We could have made Longzhu as empty of a shell of a love interest as the potion left her from the beginning, but we instead made her a self-confident and outgoing, if naïvely romantic to balance Meng. Her sister Longhua could have been a shallow snippy snarker to be little more than her sister’s foil, but we wanted her to have a complex relationship with her family, particularly with her sister. It should be no surprise to the viewer that she’s the one who sets up the final battle. And Shan Long could have been a standard issue overbearing father, but we wanted him to be complex and conflicted, Parochial without being patronizing, and made his big sin against his daughter an action taken out of misplaced love rather than empty anger.

    And now reunited, we follow our three dragons with Meng on Longzhu’s shoulders as they fly along. “You went through Diyu for my daughter,” says Shan Long. “I can think of no one better to bring joy and harmony to her life.”

    And there’s your lesson, kids: love isn’t a magical fait accompli, it’s a series of ups and downs, and true love is a willingness to go through hell to be there for the ones you love. Terrell and his wife both thanked us for that one, and said that it really helped them recontextualize a hard time in their own lives caused by the move to Florida.

    And that brings us to the obligatory wedding scene with the chorus singing “The Poet and the Dragon”, with fireworks and music. Longhua bumps into Zhengfangxing of all people, and they make snarky comments together, Statler and Waldorf style, about the whole event, finally turning and smiling to each other just as the bouquet lands in Zhengfangxing’s hands before we pan to, and then iris out on, the newly married Meng and Longzhu. They literally went through Hell for each other, but in the end, their love triumphs.

    The film was a labor of literal love, and thankfully, it did well. Critics loved the complex character relationships and innovative animation. We won some Annies and were nominated for the Best Animated Film Oscar, losing to What Dreams May Come, which, given the artistry of that one, was pretty much primed for Oscar, so I feel no loss there. We broke $364 mill at the Box Office (Batman: Terror of the Scarecrow and The Flintstones: On the Rocks just didn’t come close), driven by a strong domestic showing and a surprisingly good return in China, where we managed to actually be seen as a fair go at depicting Chinese culture…for a bunch of Gweilo out of California. Maybe we did not do Lion King good, but by that point the whole Animated Feature Renaissance had lost a bit of its novelty. Animated features were no longer “events”, they were just another movie option. Everybody saw The Lion King. Only most people saw The Poet and the Dragon.

    Art like life has its ups and downs. This was an “up”. We managed to be a success both artistically and financially with The Poet and the Dragon. They managed to love us in China, perhaps because we didn’t try to tell their own Legends back to them but instead gave them an original American story inspired by Chinese culture. Some didn’t quite like the portrayal of King Yan, who though fearsome isn’t necessarily “evil” per se, just an unpleasant but necessary part of the wheel of life (though apparently some took it as a subtle poke against Buddhism). I hear that some hardliners in the government didn’t approve of our antiauthoritarian and pro-self-actualizing themes, but the majority, including the ruling moderates, simply saw it as a standard “Taoism vs. Confucianism” narrative, like has been told in China for literal centuries.

    And while we didn’t make this film for China, I’m glad that they got something out of it. In the end, we have different lives and different values, but if we remember that we’re all one family in the end despite our differences, then perhaps we can all live and love.


    [1] Recall his long mentorship and friendship with the openly gay Thomas Schumacher in our timeline.

    [2] We’d say “Manic Pixie Dream Girl”. In this timeline The Poet and the Dragon names the trope even though it’s arguably not actually an example of it.
     
    9M4X2
  • Top 9 Important Moments in X2 (That Audiences Totally Missed at the Time)
    From Nerdgasm.net, June 16th, 2008


    X-Men 2: Rise of the Sentinels, simply called “X2” by everybody except the most pedantic nerds, was a popular addition to the growing Marvel Movie Universe or MMU (Earth #307135 for you super-nerds), making a cool $264 million at the Box Office when it appeared in the summer of 1998. Between its epic clash between Magneto's extremist Brotherhood of Mutants and Professor Xavier's titular X-Men, it's shocking revelations on the Weapon X program and Wolvie's epic clash with Lady Deathstrike and Hydra's subtle role in the program, and of course the titular rise of the co-titular Sentinels themselves (technically Mark I's), there was lots of dynamic superhero action[1].

    But few audiences at the time appreciated the sneaky ways in which Marvel slipped in important hints, foreshadowing, and plot points for Things Yet to Come. Here are our Top [number] Important Mo...oh, just read the title, nerds!

    #1: Agent Gyrich's hidden character arc begins

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    Agent Gyrich in the Comics vs. the MMU (Image sources Comics Vine and Heroic Hollywood)

    Samuel L. Motherfucking Jackson took the MMU by storm as the jaded and sarcastic SHIELD Agent Henry Peter Gyrich, Director Nick Fury's #2. But only the most dedicated nerds would have predicted the secret character arc that would play out in tiny “blink or you'll miss them” moments over the course of the MMU. And they all started here. Agent Gyrich began in the comics as an opponent to the Avengers and then later menaced the X-Men as an anti-mutant bigot, which should have been our first clue to where things were going. When Gyrich appears at Xavier's School to talk with the Professor, his not-so-subtle distaste for Xavier and the Mutants is palpable. And yet nobody at the time could have known just where this subtle set-up would lead!

    #2: When a Trask meets a Zemo

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    Bolivar Trask (Image source Marvel Database wiki)

    Played by the diabolically charming Andy Garcia, Bolivar Trask of Trask Industries, the builders of the titular (huh-huh, we love that word, huh-huh) Sentinels, is shown to be the “power behind the throne” (along with cameos by Emma Frost and Sebastian Shaw), with the exclusive Hellfire Club being the place where Senator Kelly and the Reverend Stryker receive their orders, so to say. So when Trask, Shaw, and Frost are shown to have a meeting with one Helmut Zemo (Birol Ünel), identical grandson to the evil Hydra agent Baron Heinrich Zemo who appears in Captain America (as Kitty Pride secretly watches), you know that heinous fuckery is afoot! The next few films would reveal the full story, of course...

    #3: Mutant Origins and Captain America Teased

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    (Image source TV Tropes)

    During Gyrich’s discussions with Professor X and during Trask and Zemo's meeting, we get hints about an “event” in 1945 that seems to have led to the current “spike” in Mutation rates. It’s suggested through discussions of “background levels” of some atmospheric radiation and “dramatic increases above the pre-war baseline” of mutant numbers. During Logan and Sabertooth's dramatic interactions at the Weapon X facility, we also get hints that Hydra and Baron Heinrich Zemo's “Project Odin” super soldier experiments from World War II formed the basis for the clandestine experiment. While the specifics were not yet called out, the coming films, starting with The Mighty Thor, Captain America, and Fantastic Four: Rise and Fall in 1999, would begin giving answers to these quick hints.

    #4: Hints about the Fate of the Fan4

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    (Image source Variety)

    In Black Panther, released later the same year, we're introduced to a still-of-the-same-age Reed Richards in 1998, over three decades after we last saw him. There's a hint to this when Trask Industries, which builds the Sentinels, is shown to inhabit the Baxter Building and the former Richards Laboratory. There is a toss-away line about the space being “abandoned in ‘63” when “the Four vanished”. What happened? Viewers would have to wait for 1999's Fantastic Four: Rise and Fall for the full answer. Furthermore, some of the damage caused when the X-Men and the Brotherhood fight inside the Baxter Building reveals Reed's old hidden safe, setting up an important moment in the Fan4 sequel.

    #5: Stryker's Tragic Backstory reveals a Dark Twist ahead

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    Jason Stryker (Image source Amino Apps)

    The Reverend Colonel William Stryker (Malcolm McDowell), introduced as a bitter, bigoted Falwell-like figure in X1, is given some humanity when it’s revealed that he killed his wife and (he believed) infant son Jason in a rage after discovering that the child was a Mutant, with Trask and the Hellfire Club revealed to have covered up the crime (hence their sway over him). Feeling like Mutants were the children of Satan, and (it is suggested) harboring repressed guilt over his crimes, he leads the Crusade against Mutanthood. But when it is revealed that Weapon X project leader and then-Lieutenant Colonel Thunderbolt Ross (under the guidance of Shaw and Frost) had experimented upon his very much living son as part of the Weapon X program, and that the jaded Jason Stryker (Michael Vartan) is the merciless figure behind the secret Mutant-murdering “enforcement arm” of the Sentinels paramilitary organization known as the Purifiers, the suggestion is that even the members of Hellfire are pawns in a much larger game.

    #6: Thunderbolt Ross and the Military Industrial Complex

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    Thunderbolt Ross (Image source wikimedia)

    And speaking of Thaddeus “Thunderbolt” Ross, the Hulk-hunting Air Force General Officer, played by Chris Cooper, may not have had a big role in this film, but his brief appearance hinted at the extent of the Military Industrial Complex in the MMU, it’s shadowy links to SHIELD, Hydra, the Hellfire Club, and the Sentinels, and the complex web of links between these organizations. How deep does the rabbit hole go? Stay tuned, kids!!

    #7: More References to the Starks and Stark Industries

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    (Image source Town Square)

    Tony Stark had not yet been formally introduced as of X2, and neither had his actor, and yet his presence looms all the same. First hinted at in The Incredible Hulk, Tony's reputation as a prodigal party boy precedes him. And while his father Howard, played by the Epic Mustache Delivery System known as Tom Sellick, made a brief appearance in The Fantastic Four in 1997, Tony himself would not actually appear until the Fan4 sequel the next year, and then only as a cameo and not yet donning a suit of iron. But Trask will make references to Stark Industries and its brilliant robotics expert Helmut Zemo, in particular hoping for a way to glean some of those corporate secrets for his "next iteration" of Sentinels. Much would come of these passing lines...

    #8: Erik Lehnsherr: Name-Dropper

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    (Image source Comic Adventures wiki)

    Early in the film, the Brotherhood of Mutants are watching a news report about Senator Kelly and the Sentinels (a scene of humorous domesticity before the deep, dark events of the film). Magneto bemoans the name, offhandedly saying “The true Sentinels of Liberty would never have stood for this!” Sabretooth, confused, asks who he’s talking about, to which Magneto is evasive. The meaning behind this line would be revealed in next year’s Captain America, where we found out that Mags and Cap go back a looong time[2].

    #9: The Phoenix Appears...Briefly

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    The Force is Strong with her... (Image source Cinematic Slant)

    And finally (and most critically), just as Jean Grey’s eyes briefly displayed the fire of the Phoenix while saving the X-Jet in X1, so does the Phoenix itself make the briefest of appearances. When Magneto threatens to squeeze Professor Xavier to death with an iron beam and rip Wolvie apart, Jean...gets...pissed. Not only does the glow appear in her eyes as she casts him and the rest of the Brotherhood away, but her whole body is briefly aglow with the frothing, fiery power of a certain celestial firebird, complete with the hint of wings. Naturally, X3 would give the whole MMU The Bird.

    . . .​

    And there you go, 9 things in X2 that are so important in hindsight, but that most missed when the film debuted.

    Do you have any other important X2 moments that we missed? Anything that critically informs the MMU ahead? Let us know below in the comments, nerds!!



    [1] The movie will explore the similarities between Project Odin, Weapon X, Project Wideawake (which developed the Sentinels), Project Avenger, and the conspiracies behind them in an exploration of the Military-Industrial Complex and its awkward ties to politics, the economy, and the government.

    [2] This one by @Nathanoraptor.
     
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