Interview with Judith Barsi
From Fresh Air with Terry Gross, first aired August 15th, 1996
TG: Hello and welcome again to Fresh Air. With me today is actress Judith Barsi, who most recently has been doing voice work for animation as well as for the computer-generated dinosaurs in the upcoming
Dinotopia. She has been the star of many productions, and the subject of challenging drama behind the scenes as well. Welcome, Judith.
Jude Barsi, 1996 (Image by
@nick_crenshaw82)
JB: Hey, thanks, Terry, call me Jude.
TG: Jude. You’ve been acting since you were three, including performing in numerous film and television roles throughout the 1980s before transitioning to voice work.
JB: Yea, I’d be the obnoxious little girl or the precocious little girl or the adorable little girl…you’re seeing a pattern, right? Well, I had fun with that for a while, you know. It was a nice escape, but as I got older all the attention became an issue for me. Then Steve Spielberg brought me in to do voiceover work for Stryker on
The Land Before Time, who was, well, a precocious little styracosaurus (laughs). That was my first big film role and my first voice work. Unlike cartoons, where the voice work is done before they start animating, I got to visit the set and see the real dinosaurs, which were honestly kind of scary for me at the time, which was super cool (laughs). Then Disney brought me in to do dub work as Setsuko in
Grave of Fireflies and Chika in [
My Neighbor]
Totoro. Lots of stuff for
Nocturns. I voiced the cute little fish friend Flounder in
The Little Mermaid and Don Bluth hired me for Anne-Marie in
All Dogs go to Heaven and then gave me various roles as kids in
Ritzy Gal and
Retriever. Slight change when I played a precocious
boy ghost in
Casper, though I at least got some good dramatic stuff in there. Most recently I voiced Gretel in
Hansel & Gretel. I’m eighteen and still playing precocious little girls (laughs).
TG: You’re also currently voicing an intelligent and outgoing little girl for
Whoopass Stew.
JB: (laughs) Yea. Blossom.
TG: It’s a cartoon that we’ve gotten plenty of requests about from our listeners. We did our interview with Craig McCracken and Genndy Tartakovsky, who praised you as well as Tara Freeman and E.G. Daly. Can you give our readers a taste of Blossom?
JB: (as Blossom) Alright, girls! Remember the plan and let’s go kick Mojo’s ass!
Terry laughs.
JB: Honestly, I play Blossom, but I really identify more with Buttercup. She’s dark and she kicks the most ass. (passible impression of Buttercup) Aw, man! This is bullcrap! Can’t I just kick his ass? (as self) Yea, sorry Liz!
TG: (laughs) But you did manage to break out of the Precocious Typecast with Pip in
Gargoyles, who became a breakout hit character for her mix of seeming innocence and casual cruelty.
JB: Yea, great stuff there, Terry. And yea, they originally handed me a Pip that was, you guessed it, a precocious, innocent little thing. I was like “[bleep] that! Make her kick some ass!” She then evolved into the diabolical little bitch we all know and love. I got a tat’ of her here on my arm, not far from my heart. (as Pip) “Come out, come out, it’s time to play! Let’s laugh and dance the night away!” (giggles menacingly)
TG: Delightfully chilling! And you still occasionally make live performances too. Luke Skywalker’s apprentice Halixiana in the made for TV Star Wars special
Luke of Tatooine, for example.
JB: Yea, that was fun, but I hated the makeup. I played a…let’s see if I remember it right…
twy-lick, so it was three [bleep]ing hours in a makeup chair as they painted my skin baby-diaper green and put these huge tentacle-like “head tails” on me that hurt my neck. I started calling them my “head [bleep]s” because there’s just something weirdly Freudian about them. I also cameo as a pterodactyl rider in
Dinotopia and voice some background dinosaurs.
TG: But you prefer voice work.
JB: Yea, much more. No costumes or makeup required. I can show up in jeans. They don’t care if I’m a few pounds overweight. I had to lose fifteen pounds for the
Star Wars thing and then they hang ten more pounds in prosthetics back on me. Whatever.
TG: You’ve been open about your struggles with eating disorders and body image.
JB: Yea, it started young. I looked young and had a high-pitched voice so I could be a ten-year-old and play a seven-year-old, so producers loved me because I could work longer hours and pay better attention than a kid the right age. But then I hit twelve and my boobs started growing in, which threatened those sweet gigs, so they put me on these diets. I developed an unhealthy relationship with food where I was obsessed with it but also revolted by it. I still can’t
just have ice cream without feeling self-conscious about it. I’ve found some help groups and all, but it still sticks with me.
TG: You called yourself a “survivor of child acting” when talking to Arsenio Hall. Can you elaborate?
JB: Yea, Terry, well, you know it’s always hard growing up in Hollywood. There’s so much going on all around you and to you and behind your back, so it’s a real roller coaster of emotion. On one hand you have these producers that butter you up and tell you you’re special and that you’re going to be a big star and then when you’re not doing what they want they turn around and tell you you’re nothing and that they can replace you. There’s big expectations, you know? But then you’re working these long hours, often at weird times and places, and then you have to do school too. They have tutors or therapists sometimes, Disney is really good about that, but then you’re constantly getting interrupted because there’s a take, so it can be hard to concentrate.
TG: You’ve found other former child actors and formed a bit of a support group, yes?
JB: Yea. Drew’s sort of the leader.
TG: Drew Barrymore.
JB: Yea. She’s [bleep]ing awesome. Sam…Samantha Smith calls her the “Canary” like the one in the coal mine. She was the first one of us through the gauntlet and she went out of her way for people like me and Sam and all. She gave us a lot of advice and still checks in on us and we go out of our way to be there for the next generation. We’ve recently “recruited,” if that’s the word, Macaulay Culkin, whose career stalled out the second he hit puberty and who’s seen some [bleep] himself. Neal Patrick Harris too.
Dr. Who was a roller coaster for him.
TG: Speaking of Samantha Smith, the two of you had a falling out a few years ago.
JB: Yea, I’d been working with her on
Law & Order behind the scenes, kind of telling her everything. And she’s so beautiful and has parents who love her and has this great life, and honestly, I was so jealous because I’d gotten [bleep] on all of my life. We got in an argument on the set that’s, like, now legendary, but Drew intervened and got us back together.
TG: And you’re friends again?
JB: Closer than ever, really. You learn about people and you find out that her life wasn’t picture perfect either. Creepy stalkers. Obsessive fans. Repressed pedophiles that still see her as the little girl from
The Littlest Diplomat. You know. On that last bit, we both started getting hounded by nudie mags the second we turned 18, the [bleep]ing pervoes. “Hey, you’re legal now! Show us your [bleep]s.” What the [bleep]? Christ, people suck.
TG: You’ve made no secret of the fact that you were the victim of abuse.
JB: Yea, my father has a long history of mental illness and alcohol abuse. He was physically and verbally abusive to both my mom and me.
TG: And at one point he tried to kill you both.
JB: Yea, back in ‘87. Disney had put us up at their Roman hotel in Disneyland when mom left him and he tried to break in with a gun. I don’t really think that he would have killed us, but just wanted to scare us, but anyway, he was arrested and he’s still in confinement between prison and psychiatric [hospitals].
TG: In an interview you spoke about the pain that this caused you, the abuse and the arrest.
JB: Yea, the [bleep]ed-up thing is that when he’s not hitting or yelling, he’s telling you how much that he loves you and wants to be there for you. You start to wonder if you’re the problem. He tells you the lies he tells himself to justify it all.
TG: This affected you in physical ways.
JB: I was gaining weight, which was causing the producers to talk to my parents about putting me on a diet. I was [bleep]ing 10. Dad would just drink and yell and throw pots and pans at me, which only made it worse.
TG: And it was then that the self-abuse started…and the pet abuse.
JB: Yea, I’d start to pull out my eyelashes or my cat’s whiskers
[1]. My shrink calls it a nervous disorder resulting from my abuse, a sort of way to try and control things. I’ve worked with her on medication and replacement behaviors and it’s pretty cool now, though I still occasionally catch myself pulling on my hair when I’m nervous or upset. I occasionally get a buzz cut just to stop that habit. And before someone screams about the cat thing, yea, I’ve stopped that. I feel like [bleep] for doing that.
TG: As a teen that gravitated to shallow cutting.
JB: Yea. I’d have to wear long sleeves ‘cause I’d have all of these little cuts on my inner arm. The tats cover the scars now.
TG: The tattoos. That’s Ysabel from
Mort on your inner arm, yes?
JB: Yea, I kind of, like, resonate with her. She grew up in a fake world out of time with Death as her father but still had to be girly, you know? I got her daughter Susan, who I voice for
Reaper Man and
Soul Music, here on the other one.
TG: And did you ever seriously consider suicide?
JB: Yea, sometimes. I was 14 and my mom had some pain pills. I thought about taking the whole lot, just, you know, ending it there. I’d already been cutting myself, of course. Nothing deep. I never put thoughts to action. But – and this is weird, I’m sure – I just wanted to know that if it came down to it, that I could end it, you know? Get out if I had to.
TG: You’ve been in therapy since you were ten.
JB: Yea. They started me on it at Disney. Jim and Cheryl Henson got me started. Thanks, Kermit! (laughs) It’s helped. I’ve tried about every med combo you can name, but the new SSRIs are working wonders. I still talk to my psychiatrist, like every week, sometimes more. Bipolar disorder, anxiety-depression, post-traumatic stress, occasional dissociative episodes…she loves me. I’m putting her [bleep]ing kids through college! Things are better, but they’ll probably never be
great, you know?
TG: You’ve since become an outspoken mental health advocate.
JB: Yea, anyone listening to this, seriously, take care of yourself. No shame in it. You break your leg you go to the doctor, right? They put you in a cast and maybe give you some pills for pain. It’s the same if you break your brain. It’s no different. There’s still, like, a stigma to it, you know? Bull[bleep] really. People are stupid that way. But take care of yourself. Call a crisis hotline. See a therapist. Talk to your doctor. I doubt I’d still be here if I hadn’t taken care of myself. Like Drew says, “The world sucks, but
you don’t have to. Be there for yourself and be there for each other.”
TG: You’ve also called your work, particularly your work for producer and director Tim Burton, as your “work therapy.”
JB: Oh, definitely, yea. Keeps me focused and connected to people who, you know, are there for me. Jim Henson and the Disney folks are awesome, but Tim and his Skeleton Crew are the best. I was doing Flounder [for
The Little Mermaid] and came across some of the crazy art they were doing for
Nocturns. Real dark [bleep]. I loved it.
TG: You were already getting into the Goth subculture by that point.
JB: Oh, totally. I was introduced to
The Cure from watching
Jonathan Scissorhands back when I was 13, and I so connected to it. That was like the start. I got big into Siouxsie and the Banshees and totally wanted to be Siouxsie. I’d already started dying my hair jet-black or blood red and was dressing up like Zondra from
Digit’s World. So, like, I walk into the production room for the Skeleton Crew uninvited and just begged Tim to do voice work for, like, anything. I was [bleep]ing pathetic! Tim was, like, “you came to the right place.” They hired me not just to voice and act, but I became a production assistant and gofer. I’d give my thoughts on designs and music choice and I even got to meet Siouxsie and the Banshees when they recorded a bit for Season three of
Nocturns. [bleep] it was beautiful.
TG: You played a teenage vampire on “High School Sucks” for Season 4.
JB: (laughs) Yea, it was brilliant. Joss [Whedon] wrote and directed that. I’d play this coy little innocent thing who got super-drunk at parties and the guys would think that I was an “easy lay”, but it was all a trap to, like, kill them and suck their blood. Speaking of “suck”, we even made a [long bleep] joke.
TG: I’m sure we’ll have to censor that. An oral sex joke, you mean.
JB: (laughs) Yea. (sultry voice) “You say you want me to…” (normal voice) Ok, ok! Your producer is waving that one off! (laughs loudly)
TG: Some people were shocked by that portrayal, particularly when you “baited” females as well. The tabloids are claiming that you’ve dated both men and women. They specifically call out rumored relationships with an androgynous Goth musician and lesbian sitcom star.
JB: Yea, no names, since neither relationship lasted long. Let’s just say that I have a “type” and it’s not a good one for me. Too much like “dear old dad.” We’ll leave it at that. I don’t like to talk about my relationships.
TG: You mentioned about your character in that episode pretending to be drunk. You also got nominated for an Emmy playing an alcoholic teen on
Law & Order. But you yourself do not drink alcohol.
JB: Not a [bleep]ing drop. Seriously, real bad associations. Even the smell makes me shake! I smell booze on a man’s breath and I have an anxiety attack.
TG: But you have admitted to marijuana use.
JB: Yea, it helps me regulate. Nothing harder. I tried cocaine once and they had to restrain me before I destroyed everything and clawed someone’s eyes out. I was offered a tab of acid once and turned it down. The
last thing that I need is a peek into my subconscious, thank you! Otherwise, just lots of coffee. Black like a psychopath.
TG: No Starbucks mocha Frappuccino for you, I take it?
JB: Are you [bleep]ing me, Terry? (laughs)
TG: We need to take a short break. We’ll be back in a few minutes to speak more with Jude Barsi. This is
Fresh Air on NPR.
[1] Barsi reportedly did these things in our timeline in the years leading up to her murder.