What's the most implausible AH ever?

[Major Major]

I say this as someone who's not adverse to a Polish wank timeline

If you're going to talk PolishWank, how about the Conrad Stargard books? They're as much AH as The Guns of the South, but with a hero who makes Marty Stu (Mary Sue's brother) look like an ineffectual wimp. Everybody (except the Mongols and the Teutonic Knights, who make the British in Stars and Stripes Forever look like the Drakka, their army that is) just falls down and loves him, particularly the women. He institutes technological and social advances at a rate that would make Hank Morgan the Connecticut Yankee's head spin . . . and, somehow, he's not even an anti-Semite.

MY EYES, THEY BLEED!!!!!!!


Though as a Canadian I must hate Stars and Stripes series.

Also, that Korean def-con sounds head bangingly bad.

There was the bit where the Korean invaders armed themselves out of Texas National Guard armories. Or the horse-riding Chicano auxilaries. Or, the national guards of all the adjoining states not sending troops . . .

There are times when I suspected that Quonster (surely he and Dabrob have something going on . . .) was making it all up.

It really is a toss up between the Polish and Stars and Stripes for which timeline I'd move to gouge out my eyes faster, though admitedly, Stars and Stripes made more sense...

I think something just failed inside my head.

 

[Petike]

If you're going to talk PolishWank, how about the Conrad Stargard books? They're as much AH as The Guns of the South, but with a hero who makes Marty Stu (Mary Sue's brother) look like an ineffectual wimp. Everybody (except the Mongols and the Teutonic Knights, who make the British in Stars and Stripes Forever look like the Drakka, their army that is) just falls down and loves him, particularly the women. He institutes technological and social advances at a rate that would make Hank Morgan the Connecticut Yankee's head spin . . . and, somehow, he's not even an anti-Semite.

I'm going to Uchronia.com right now to search for them !

 

[Alexius]

Stars and Stripes is pretty bad, I grant you- a Trent War where the CSA switches sides, then the British Empire loses- not in a "tired of war" way, but in a "enemy flag flying over the ruins of Westminster" way...

Then, there's this:

Even worse than it looks- it starts out (apparently) with a global thermonuclear war in which Britain fires the first shot, against Ireland!
Yes, that's right, Britain decides to nuke its closest ally, despite the fact that the fallout will blow across the Irish Sea...

Edit: not to mention that they could destroy the Irish armed forces inside 24 hours using only conventional weapons- but given what this book looks like, we probably see the British Army get stuck in a bog and killed by the Garda (who the author thinks are some sort of elite military force), the RAF grounded by sabotage, and the Navy sunk by pallets of Semtex pushed out of the back of a C-130...

 

[Fenrir_Angerboda]

Then, there's this:

Even worse than it looks- it starts out (apparently) with a global thermonuclear war in which Britain fires the first shot, against Ireland!
Yes, that's right, Britain decides to nuke its closest ally, despite the fact that the fallout will blow across the Irish Sea...

that looks incredibly bad. in the "plan 9 from outer space" sense.

I remember reading a timeline (i forget where), where a japanese immigrent, complete with katana, is one of the defenders at the Alamo, and gains the nickname "El Diablo" amoung Santa anna's troops.
long story short, it has Texas Samurai rangers, free Mexican states, Hawaii conquring most of the Pacific, and the Republic of Texas, Republic of California, Kingdom of Hawaii, and the empire of Japan all on very good terms.
to make things even stranger, these four nations are rising powerhouses.
It's nice to see a timeline where Hawaii isn't over run by the Japanese in WWII, or still under British control, but this is just too.....strange.

 

[Petike]

Then, there's this:

Ah, yes. It's considered a cult classic (in the cheesfully bad-sense) here at AH.com.

 

[midnight77]

that looks incredibly bad. in the "plan 9 from outer space" sense.

I remember reading a timeline (i forget where), where a japanese immigrent, complete with katana, is one of the defenders at the Alamo, and gains the nickname "El Diablo" amoung Santa anna's troops.
long story short, it has Texas Samurai rangers, free Mexican states, Hawaii conquring most of the Pacific, and the Republic of Texas, Republic of California, Kingdom of Hawaii, and the empire of Japan all on very good terms.
to make things even stranger, these four nations are rising powerhouses.
It's nice to see a timeline where Hawaii isn't over run by the Japanese in WWII, or still under British control, but this is just too.....strange.

That was a good story. Implausible, but good.

 

[Count Dearborn]

Stars and Stripes is pretty bad, I grant you- a Trent War where the CSA switches sides, then the British Empire loses- not in a "tired of war" way, but in a "enemy flag flying over the ruins of Westminster" way...

Then, there's this:

Even worse than it looks- it starts out (apparently) with a global thermonuclear war in which Britain fires the first shot, against Ireland!
Yes, that's right, Britain decides to nuke its closest ally, despite the fact that the fallout will blow across the Irish Sea...

Edit: not to mention that they could destroy the Irish armed forces inside 24 hours using only conventional weapons- but given what this book looks like, we probably see the British Army get stuck in a bog and killed by the Garda (who the author thinks are some sort of elite military force), the RAF grounded by sabotage, and the Navy sunk by pallets of Semtex pushed out of the back of a C-130...

In this story, the leader of a faction of the IRA, who thought that he was the reincarnation of Finn mac Cumail fired a biological weapon at London that drove everybody bonkers. The Prime Minister fires a thermonuclear weapon at Ireland, after he had butchered his wife, and raped his daughter.

 

[Alexius]

In this story, the leader of a faction of the IRA, who thought that he was the reincarnation of Finn mac Cumail fired a biological weapon at London that drove everybody bonkers. The Prime Minister fires a thermonuclear weapon at Ireland, after he had butchered his wife, and raped his daughter.

My God, that's worse than I thought.

I guess the PM personally swam out to a V-boat (or R-boat given that it's 1992), tore the hatch open, killed the crew and fired the missile himself.

Or maybe he pushed "the button" and the missile is fired from a silo in Scotland or Cornwall...

 

[General Mung Beans]

In this story, the leader of a faction of the IRA, who thought that he was the reincarnation of Finn mac Cumail fired a biological weapon at London that drove everybody bonkers. The Prime Minister fires a thermonuclear weapon at Ireland, after he had butchered his wife, and raped his daughter.

That's rather like the Stone Dogs virus from the Draka TL.

 

[Dave Howery]

Even worse than it looks- it starts out (apparently) with a global thermonuclear war in which Britain fires the first shot, against Ireland!
Yes, that's right, Britain decides to nuke its closest ally, despite the fact that the fallout will blow across the Irish Sea...

Edit: not to mention that they could destroy the Irish armed forces inside 24 hours using only conventional weapons- but given what this book looks like, we probably see the British Army get stuck in a bog and killed by the Garda (who the author thinks are some sort of elite military force), the RAF grounded by sabotage, and the Navy sunk by pallets of Semtex pushed out of the back of a C-130...

I read that book way back in high school... IIRC, the war starts because the IRA poisoned London's water supply, and most of the government people were insane because of it. I remember that the Israeli mercenaries had laser armed tanks....

 

[Petike]

That's rather like the Stone Dogs virus from the Draka TL.

Or like something out of the writings of Harlan Ellison.

 

[Redem]

Well Crimson skies pretty implaussible the U.S collaspe within twelve years of divergence and seem to act liked it ever existed

 

[Looseheadprop]

In this story, the leader of a faction of the IRA, who thought that he was the reincarnation of Finn mac Cumail fired a biological weapon at London that drove everybody bonkers. The Prime Minister fires a thermonuclear weapon at Ireland, after he had butchered his wife, and raped his daughter.

And then Texas and Israel (who miraculously escape destruction) decide to fight a war in which the Texans send the 16 indians they didnt wipe out in the 1890's to attack Israels lone tank.

 

[Petike]

And then Texas and Israel (who miraculously escape destruction) decide to fight a war in which the Texans send the 16 indians they didnt wipe out in the 1890's to attack Israels lone tank.

Sort of...

I really love the little title on top of the cover :

"In the grand tradition of science fiction..."

Dear God. The publishers apparently read (or produced) only terrible pulp sci-fi...

 

[Leo Caesius]

Sort of...

I really love the little title on top of the cover :

"In the grand tradition of science fiction..."

Dear God. The publishers apparently read (or produced) only terrible pulp sci-fi...

This picture says a thousand words. Those words succinctly sum up everything that's wrong with the Alternate History/Future History genre.

 

[midnight77]

This picture says a thousand words. Those words succinctly sum up everything that's wrong with the Alternate History/Future History genre.

What's Wrong or What's Awesome? That is a picture of an Israeli tank fighting Indians in a post-apocalyptic Texas. It is so bad it's AWESOME!

 

[Snarf]

Or like something out of the writings of Harlan Ellison.

Or maybe Harlan Ellison writing the Drakaverse...

I read Texas-Israeli War in high school as well. Seeing the cover has brought back the flashbacks...

 

[Ed Costello]

Ye Gods, even the blurb's bad - 'A fearless band of Israelis whose courage has been tested in other wars!' sounds about as thrilling as the reminder's note I just got from my surgery.

 

[hopper2cool]

I read an AH book in which Brutus decides to save Caesar (who happened to be his father) during the Ides of March assassination. While it's not quite ASB for him to save Julius or even for Julius Caesar to be Brutus father the book quickly turned super absurd.
Brutus wife dies then comes back from the dead. Brutus become Emporer or maybe just head of the Senate. They talk about Teutoburg Forest and losing 3 legions even though that would have happend more than 50 years later.

 

[the Apple Man]

of the ones that I've read, I find 1901 preety unlikely.

basically, Imperial Germany invades continental America in....1901.
some how, I find that unlikely, even if they did actually make plans for it.

still, pretty good read.