The Belle of the Ball: The Story of Baroness Audrey Kathleen van Heemstra in the Expanded Universe thread.
"What Madness Is This?" Volume II: Prophecies in the Dark
- Thread starter Napoleon53
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I worked in one for a couple of years in college, and in my experience the customers aren't weirder on a per-capita basis than any other store. The difference is that a given Walmart is cheaper and has a lot more product than other stores nearby, so you wind up with a lot more people, so you're going to see a lot more weirdos just through volume. Plus, it's important to consider that the customer base tends to skew lower-income and the chain itself started in the southern United States, so a big part of the 'people of Walmart' meme stems from the time-honored Anglo-American tradition of mocking the poor and marginal.
If anything, compared to my other retail experience, Walmart customers were usually more polite and way more likely to give exact change, and less likely to pull a Karen on the staff. The extreme couponer crowd could fuck right off, though, they were the absolute worst, and management had only the thinnest veil over its contempt for hourly staff.
I once saw a man come into a Walmart near where I live piss drunk in the middle of the day. He had run from a drunken disorderly charge and wanted to hide from the police, so he ran in, jumped on one of those electric carts for the elderly and rode around at 2 miles an hour trying to avoid the police. He was caught immediately.
Oh, ok. It doesn't seem so strange, just a drunken guy running from the police
It was the "running in and then getting on something slower than human legs" thing that struck me as surprising. I was in line to return something once and a woman demanded to exchange her weed whacker with an identical one taken from a combo pack and threw a fit when she was told it wasn't allowed.
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People improvising meth labs in the isles using products from that very store (which they of course didn't even pay for), people setting off the fireworks displays inside the store, various naked shenanigans.
There's a series on Youtube called "What the Fuck is Wrong With You", they read actual news stories of crazy and random (with the rule that they don't cover stories where anyone got seriously maimed, injured, or killed) and make fun of them.
A lot of their material comes from Walmart and includes things like what I just mentioned.
Which, to be fair, includes poor whites; especially rednecks.
I also saw something in the news the other year: some Walmarts in the South sell fireworks during the Fourth of July season and a woman went into the bathroom with an artillery shell tube, and came out half an hour later without it. As she was trying to leave with her firework successfully... stowed away.... the friction from her yoga pants lit the fuse, set the thing off, and caused severe internal burns. In the interest of not getting in trouble I leave it your imagination where she was trying to carry the damn thing.
Uhh, ok... We are really getting into the weird stuff.
That sounds like incredible luck that she got away with only internal burns.
I'm content stopping there, or we'll open up a spiraling wormhole (heh) of strange and terrible things
I found it, apparently the "news" story was a hoax: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/fireworks-explodes-woman-shoplifting/
The fact that the several Walmart workers I knew seemed completely unsurprised when we talked about it at the time should still serve as an excellent illustration of the chain's high weirdness, in any case
MYTH OR REALITY: THE TRINITY CITY APEMAN
MYTH OR REALITY:
THE TRINITY CITY APEMAN
Famous 1950 photograph of the "Trinity City Apeman"
THE TRINITY CITY APEMAN
Famous 1950 photograph of the "Trinity City Apeman"
The 1920s, '30s and '40s saw a peak in the attempted development of dubious "superweapons" around the world, but no where saw more bizarre attempts than the Republican Union. During the period, President Joseph Steele authorized tens of millions to be spent on research and development. The Economic Clans, still terrified of Steele since the Yankee Stadium incident, were also working around the clock to invent new weapons of mass destruction, medical technology, and equipment. But perhaps nothing was as "interesting" as Yankee biological research during this time.
The original home of this biological research in the Union was everyone's favorite reeducation facility Camp 222, the old stomping grounds of Dr. Midas Goldstein and the birthplace of his and Dr. Joseph K. Finch's Beckie Flu Vaccine. The camp had originally been built during the days of the Hamilton Fish administration as a supply depot for the GAR, and legend says that it was constructed on the grounds of the ancient French Fort Victoire. Fort Victoire was a small base that had supposedly been used by the French Royal Army in the 17th century to reinforce the path to Fort Pontchartrain du Détroit, some 50 miles north, though much of that history would later be erased by the RU and verification of these stories as fact is a long-lost cause. At any rate, the French and Indian War did see extensive combat in the area and a French camp in the vicinity of the supposed original fort were slaughtered in their sleep by an unknown foe. Some blamed the Native American legend of the "Wendigo" for their deaths, but most historians suspect a British group of scouts committed the massacre. When the modern age arrived and Detroit (now Crawford) was taking off economically, few wanted to live in Camp Victory, as the area was now called. Many thought the place cursed.
During the Custer years, reeducation camps sprung up around the country at a shocking rate, despite the fact they had existed since early in the 19th century as "foreigner camps." Custer's new Office of Racial and Religious Affairs took command of these institutions and put a happy, smiling face on them, referring to guards as "Camp Counselors" and commandants as "Chief Camp Counselors," almost making it sound like some sort of wilderness resort or Bible camp. They would also begin numbering them. The numbering process helped avoid stigma surrounding local communities who didn't want to be known for a prison camp. Thus, Camp Victory, and the surrounding small community of Victoria, welcomed the name change to Camp 222. Over the years, the population of the town dwindled from about 300 to less than 50, owing to an 1890 outbreak of cholera and the collapse of the local economy (furthering stories of a curse). In 1893, the community of Victoria was unincorporated. ORRA quickly bought out the last few stragglers and took full possession of the town. Jewish-American architect Werner Englander was hired two years later to design the "reeducation facility of the future." By 1900, the camp was the most secure in America, an experiment in brutality and utilitarian design principles.
Enter one Midas Goldstein, the "Polymath of the Ages." From his early days of "E=MC2," to coming up with the idea for the "mobill oven trucks" that burned up corpses during the Beckie Flu, to the Final Solution to the Inferior Question, the bald Jewish-American mad doctor remains to this day the symbol of modern American science. When he took command of Camp 222 in 1912 following the Kissimmee Conference, he was taking over for retiring Chief Camp Counselor Robert Clement, a cantankerous and brutal former prison warden with a penchant for personally beating inmates with a metal baton at the slightest show of disrespect. When Goldstein arrived, many prisoners hoped for some sort of change, as the Jew wore a white seersucker suit rather than Clement's dress uniform and kepi and seemed to convey an attitude of warmth and friendliness, even to Inferiors. Goldstein was known for personally visiting hovels with his staff to speak with the detained and ask how they were doing, sometimes giving the children George Washington Carver's Pep-O-Steps or Little Sweetums and sometimes even a bottle of Sweet Victory. Finch would express his distaste of "mingling with the mongrels," but Goldstein seemed to show empathy.
It was all a ruse. In reality, Goldstein was a sociopath who merely viewed Inferiors as interesting but short-term playthings, to be examined, broken, and thrown away. He was responsible for turning Camp 222 from a mere camp into a medical research facility with the funding of then Supreme Chief of ORRA George Dewey (who also was fulfilling Presidential duties at the time thanks to the secret wartime death of George Custer). His headquarters and main research facility at Camp 222 was known as "Solomon's Temple." It would be here that the original vaccine for the Beckie Flu would be developed and rolled out, among many other future experiments. But Goldstein's time as the "Black Jew of Camp 222" was short, as he quickly accepted the role of Supreme Chief of the Office of Health and Wellness (OHW) two years later. Camp 222 was then shared by ORRA and OHW from that point on, as were many of the camps, in a "joint venture to discover the future of health and chattel maintenance."
Among the very peculiar research assistants at the facility that served under the Black Jew was a "thin, short, dour little man" named Dr. Elija Johnson, former professor of biology at Kalamazoo University. After Goldstein left and Fred Merkwürdigliebe took over the driver's seat, he promoted Dr. Johnson to the position of Chief of Biological Research at the Camp 222. After waiting year after year for a promotion to Deputy Chief Camp Counselor that never came, increasing personal tensions between himself and Merkwürdigliebe saw Johnson apply at a different facility in 1925. In early 1926, a farewell party was thrown in the staff dining hall at Solomon's Temple, complete with a blonde vixen popping out of a cake and fine wine. Johnson was off to Fort McClellan.
Now Fort McClellan has a much less interesting history than Camp 222. It began its life as a supply depot during the Great World War and only later became a place of intrigue as part of Project Percival, the top secret program that developed LSD, methamphetamine, and mescaline, as well as research into mind control and more. Johnson arrived just as things were getting interesting, serving as an aide to Dr. Gilgamesh Singleton. The two men were experts in different fields, with Singleton having taught brain science at Yale, but Johnson's expertise was greatly needed because of his knowledge of human anatomy and his understanding of the effects of drugs on the human body from his time at Camp 222. Many know the "Big Six" of Project Percival: Dr. Harvey Stein, Dr. Enoch Casey, Dr. Slim Woods, Dr. Festus Mueller, Dr. Gilgamesh Singleton, and Dr. Gabriel Snow. But many medical historians say that Dr. Johnson was the seventh of the group, but just more private, shy, and reclusive.
Dr. Elijah Johnson (1943)
"For the first time in years--since Goldstein left 222, really--I felt fulfilled. They didn't have books on the stuff we were doing at Fort McClellan. They were still writing the books! And they were basing them on our research. We were forging ahead into a brave new world. It was really something. I will always cherish my time on the project. Some people say I should be more famous than I am, that I'm the forgotten seventh member of the Big Six. I am not some spotlight-seeker and I will not compare myself to my superiors. I will write this memoir for history and be done with it. I am just glad to have enjoyed the company of such great minds, particularly Dr. Singleton and Dr. Snow, and for the knowledge I have gained from them and with them. As the staff party in Solomon's Temple sang to me on my last day before transfer to Fort McClellan, "Auld lang syne," gentlemen!"
- Dr. Elijah Johnson in his 1950 autobiography Sapere Aude (Heart and Hearth Publishing House)
What Johnson would definitely not include in his autobiography, however, was his own mostly failed biological superweapon project, the classified Project Silverback. Project Silverback was one of the most laughably failed Union experiments of all time, and it was a public relations disaster and information war that led to mass hysteria and eventually to one of the most enduring American "urban legends" of all time: the Trinity City Apeman. The story of Project Silverback is so bizarre that few would believe it even if it were to be declassified. There was office politics, bizarre fetishes, organ transplants, and much, much more, and all of it can be traced back to Dr. Elijah Johnson in the winter of 1933, well into the initial build-up phase of Operation: Manifest Climax.
It began on November 10, 1932, in the "Paul Revere Wing" of Fort McClellan, when Johnson was given the staff and office of Dr. Enoch Casey following Casey's retirement. Johnson was told by Supreme Chief Patton that he was deserving of a reward. This reward would come in the form of funding a personal project of Johnson's that the doctor swore up and down would create a modern "super-soldier." This would not be merely a superweapon, but it could turn men themselves into superweapons, or so the doctor declared. The idea for Project Silverback had been floated by Johnson since his days at Camp 222, where he was mocked as the "monkey man," the harassment that led directly to his transfer out of there. Since about 1913, he had drawn up plans for "human-monkey hybridization" to create a "supersoldier." He also proposed exciting fare like transfering a human brain into an ape, transplanting a cat's head onto a dog's body, and assorted random chimera. While many of his colleagues thought his research a waste of funding, Supreme Chief Patton was willing to welcome him with open arms for one specific reason: Patton's own physical insecurities.
Since being paralyzed in the Great World War, Patton had been obsessed with find some sort of "serum of rejuvenation" and Steele seemed uninterested or uncaring as to how much he spent on this goal. In reality, Steele's personal doctors informed him that Patton would never walk again. Seeking someone to be his right-hand who could never be physically stronger than him, this made Patton a perfect choice for ORRA Supreme Chief, a position that filled the role of Vice-President. Patton never picked up on this cynical move and always dreamed of a day when he would stand again, a day when he would overthrow Joseph Steele. Just several months after the start of Project Silverback, Patton would dispatch the Office of Artifacts and Antiquities to Lake Maracaibo in a vain attempt at locating the fabled Fountain of Youth, almost sparking an early war with Gran Colombia in the process. He also would collect multiple copies of The Mysteries of The Worm in an attempt to solve the mysteries of his own "worm." Clearly willing to try anything to improve his physical condition, all Johnson had to do was whisper sweet nothings about walking again and Patton would throw money at him.
"Doctor Johnson,
Your reputation as an expert biologist precedes you, and I have heard many grand things about you from your former colleagues at Camp 222 and from Dr. G. Singleton. I understand that you wish to launch a program dedicated to studying the preserving of the human brain, cognitive functions, fluid rejuvenation, animal hybridization, and transplantation. As a man no longer endowed with functioning legs, having lost their use in service to this country, I am happy to tell you I firmly back your research and so does the entirety of ORRA and OHW. You will be given all funds necessary without question and all of your needs will be met to your liking. On the topic of meeting needs, I would also ask for you to help me with my current problems down where the old walnuts hang, as I haven't felt the touch of a woman since 1912. As you can imagine for a man of my stature and appearance, I am inundated with requests to rattle my saber, to spread my seed and reap the wild wind. With my divorce finalized, I am once again a heart-throb to many of America's fairer sex. Now, this doesn't really bode well for me if I can't perform in the bedroom. If you could please look into this situation and perhaps assist me with this problem, I will be forever in your debt. Good luck, and Jehovah bless.
- His Excellency,
Supreme Chief George Patton
Office of Racial and Religious Affairs"
Your reputation as an expert biologist precedes you, and I have heard many grand things about you from your former colleagues at Camp 222 and from Dr. G. Singleton. I understand that you wish to launch a program dedicated to studying the preserving of the human brain, cognitive functions, fluid rejuvenation, animal hybridization, and transplantation. As a man no longer endowed with functioning legs, having lost their use in service to this country, I am happy to tell you I firmly back your research and so does the entirety of ORRA and OHW. You will be given all funds necessary without question and all of your needs will be met to your liking. On the topic of meeting needs, I would also ask for you to help me with my current problems down where the old walnuts hang, as I haven't felt the touch of a woman since 1912. As you can imagine for a man of my stature and appearance, I am inundated with requests to rattle my saber, to spread my seed and reap the wild wind. With my divorce finalized, I am once again a heart-throb to many of America's fairer sex. Now, this doesn't really bode well for me if I can't perform in the bedroom. If you could please look into this situation and perhaps assist me with this problem, I will be forever in your debt. Good luck, and Jehovah bless.
- His Excellency,
Supreme Chief George Patton
Office of Racial and Religious Affairs"
Seeking to humor Patton about this matter but unwilling to do anything that could actually harm the Supreme Chief's health, he prescribed him a series of placebo sugar pills that would "enhance his virility." Despite everyone on Project Silverback agreeing that this should be the indefinite solution to Patton's request, the Supreme Chief actually complained that the pills weren't helping. Following a physical during one of his annual two month stays at Fort McClellan in mid-1933, Patton demanded a new course of treatment after Johnson admitted that his testicles had actually degenerated and were no longer usable. Furious, Patton ordered the doctor to prepare him for testicular transplant. After a thorough temper-tantrum from his boss, Dr. Johnson told Patton that he would not advise such a life-threatening treatment on such an important member of the government. Having none of it, Patton drunkenly ordered Johnson, "Give me a set of gorilla nuts. Tear 'em off one these damn monkeys and put them on me!" Or so the legend went. In reality, Patton simply had a human cadaver's testicles transplanted onto his own nether-regions. This did not stop him from deliberately spreading the rumor that he was packing "gorilla nuts." Patton regained some sexual functions but would never fully recover.
But the story one is likely to expect from this chapter is not that of a high-ranking government officer shouting for gorilla parts to be stitched onto his own body, but the story of the Trinity City Apeman. This is where things take a very freakish, weird turn. After several more experiments involving genetics and animals, such as keeping a severed dog head alive for three months in early 1934, the idea for the creation of a "supersoldier" was put forward again by Johnson. Using Inferiors, he theorized, they could actually artificially inseminate them with gorilla or chimpanzee sperm, or vice-versa, and create a "Voidling-ape" hybrid. After all, he argued, Inferiors, particularly the Irish, were not fully human and if Satan had created them as a mockery of God's creation of man, then they were much closer to apes already, if not outright. If they could be trained and brought up with careful monitoring and tutoring, these new "apemen" could be used as berserkers the likes of which the world had never seen. The Inferior's job was no different than any of the other animals in creation: to serve the Pinnacle Man as he built the New Jerusalem.
Of course, these experiments failed utterly for the next two years. In early 1936, after over 200 attempted pregnancies that ended with absolutely nothing to show, Johnson was prepared to give up on the research when he began to feel pressure from ORRA to show something useful for their time and money. He quickly drew up plans to create "men like apes," using a system of steroids, growth hormones, and numerous other stimulants and drugs. He personally visited reeducation camps around the country, desperately searching for the largest or the large, the tallest of the tall out of all prisoners. He would settle on 200 different Inferiors or convicts that were over six feet eight inches tall and that had broad shoulders and faces. Most of the subjects were Irish, however there were at least 30 convicts, 5 ancestral Mexicans, and a Spaniard. Many of these test subjects suffered from a condition known as "hypertrichosis," leading to incredible hair growth all over their bodies.
The victims were strapped to tables twice daily and administered the cocktail of horrific substances. In the meantime they were kept in cages and forbidden from speaking, living in filth and sleeping on piles of straw. Johnson said this was necessary to invoke their "carnal ancestral spirit." "These are the Goliaths of the battlefields of the Pinnacle Future!" Johnson would proudly declare to visiting ORRA officers. Fire hoses were used to blast the inmates whenever they fought back or refused to cooperate, as beating them or killing them would ruin the study. 25 died in the first five months, with a further 15 dying by 1937, usually of cardiac arrest or hyperthyroidism. But the ones who did survive were completely broken emotionally and mentally, lapsing into insanity. They were absolutely muscle-bound, constantly in a state of rage and violence, barely able to be contained with the fire hoses. Frequent treatments of LSD mixed in with their food were among the only things that calmed them down. Johnson promised Patton that at some point in the near future these "apemen" could be trained to fight on the frontlines as naked, hairy stormtroopers, used more for shock value than anything. Many could take several bullets before buying the farm, and their strength was unrivaled. On January 3, 1937, one ORRA scientist ironically named Darwin Tyler was seized by a group of inmates and mercilessly beaten to death with the brass tip of the hose and then torn apart. The "apeman" responsible for ring-leading the murder was immediately shot before Johnson could stop it, enraging him. "Tyler went inside the enclosure with the hose! It was Tyler's fault for not staying far enough away! Play stupid games and win stupid prizes, dammit!"
On June 1, 1937, Patton phoned up Johnson. The following in a transcription of the call.
PATTON: "What we need down south on the battlefield is some of your apemen. It'd crush Neutie morale and really make 'em think twice about messing with Uncle Sam. So if you could spare a truck-full of your hairy little rascals for us to use down south aways, that'd be fantastic, Doctor Johnson. The War Room would be forever grateful."
JOHNSON: "Yes, of course, your excellency... Uh, if I may speak freely and whatnot, sir, I don't think they are quite ready for this sort of testing at the moment. They are very... ah, strained, mentally."
PATTON: "Mentally? They should be mindless humanzees, Doctor. Kill, kill, kill! They are a weapon of terror, and should be used as such."
JOHNSON: "Well, yes, of course, but this is a long-running project, sir. Uh, I would humbly ask for an additional six to eight months to fully take control of their minds and render them fit for transport."
PATTON: "We're at war-, er, in the midst of an ongoing national security operation, Doc! I will be sending Captain Jack Turgidson and a squad of his boys down to Trinity City in about two weeks to pick 'em up. This'll be very interesting to see how they perform in combat!"
JOHNSON: *audible sigh* "All right, sir, I can work with that, of course. I'll tell my staff to prepare them for battle. Anything else, sir?"
PATTON: "No, I don't believe so. The Yankees are playing in a few minutes and I don't wanna miss the opening throw on the talkiebox. Have a good night, Doctor. All hail!"
JOHNSON: "You as well, your excellency. All hail."
Now we finally arrive at the part in this story where things went drastically, terribly off the rails. On June 17, Captain Turgidson and his men arrived in an armored, windowless Colonel Ford transport truck to pick up twenty "apemen" test subjects and transport them via Destiny Road to the battlefront in South America. Using hoses and tranquilizers, the unfortunate victims of "science" were maneuvered into the truck, kicking and screaming the whole way. One ORRA man was severely injured but would later make a recovery. Two armored autocarriages, with belt-fed grinders mounted on top, were brought in to flank the transport. The troops involved were ordered to immediately execute every test subject if a breakout would somehow occur. They were actually terrified of these freakishly huge "monsters" and were incredibly uncomfortable and uneasy around them, which worried Johnson greatly that they would open fire at the slightest hint of trouble. Being the middle of summer and being locked in a metal windowless transport truck was also not the greatest situation to bring the apemen into in the first place. Every four hours, the scientists told Turgidson, a rest was needed and the test subjects should be given water and some slices of pork (which was stored in a cooler toward the front of the truck).
They wouldn't make it twenty miles. The test subjects reaction to the oven-like conditions of the transport was unreal, and they began to slam their bodies into the walls in an attempt to flip the truck over. Screeching and roaring, they did this over and over, within Trinity City limits even, causing many pedestrians and motorists to later recall that "weird unmarked government truck that sounded like it had a herd of elephants inside it." Captain Turgidson grew increasingly unhappy with how things were unfolding and ordered the caravan to stop in the middle of the woods some fifteen miles outside of Trinity City. Turgidson grabbed his drum-fed riot shotgun and ordered his men to open a small observation hatch on the top of the trailer. He climbed on top of the vehicle, pushed his shotgun through the hatch, and blasted a shell into the unlit trailer, killing one of the apemen. "Shut the fuck up and lay the fuck down or taste lead!" he shrieked, slamming the hatch shut.
Just as the convoy was about to continue on, the apemen began to mourn for their dead cellmate by going even more berserk, actually managing to loosen the locks on the back door. Several seconds later, the door hinges snapped out of their mounting, sending doors and test subjects crashing to the ground in a cacophonous ruckus that stunned the ORRA men. The apemen wasted no time, grabbing the nearest ORRA officer and snapping his neck like a toothpick. The rear support vehicle opened up with its grinder, killing at least five apemen with its 50 caliber, but they were too fast for most of the troopers. They swarmed the vehicle and overtook the gunner, one apeman actually turning the gun on the Yankees, mowing them down. Captain Turgidson was brutally beaten to death and his body thrown in a ditch. As the the last ORRA man lay dying he managed to radio backup. Within fifteen minutes, ORRA and RUMP troops were on the scene. Detective Jericho Roberts of the Trinity City RUMP Special Crimes Unit called the massacre "the scariest thing I've ever seen, and I've seen the basements of serial killers." The general public was ordered to go into lockdown while "escaped, armed, and dangerous convicts" were hunted down by the authorities.
Around fourteen apemen had escaped into the woods of southeastern Texas. Within two days, four of them were found and shot by ORRA and RUMP, but still more were still on the lose. Motorists began calling local talkiebox stations reporting sighting "massive hairy apelike creatures in the forest." It was a nightmare and humiliating for both ORRA and Project Silverback. Fort McClellan immediately issued press briefings, such as this one that appeared in the Trinity City Examiner:
"Any sightings of a so-called apeman in the woods outside Trinity City or anywhere are nothing more than alarmist, paranoid conspiracy theories. Fort McClellan, in particular, has nothing to do with research on any apes or monkeys of any sort, and is dedicated to medical research to improve the health of all Americans. However, armed convicts are still at large, and ORRA and RUMP asks that each citizen do his duty by remaining inside and at home for the duration of this dragnet. All hail."
Over the next few weeks, a further six apemen would be killed by the government, but the remaining four would never be located. One was presumed dead in 1944, but that was never confirmed. Campers and hikers would come upon "crude huts" as if built by "enormous humanoid creatures." A popular culture movement began, with Trinity City even holding the first-ever annual "Texan Apeman Festival" in 1951, a year after a local hunter named Patterson Hodge took the clearest and most detailed photo of one of the escaped Project Silverback inmates and claimed it to be an undiscovered species of "American great ape." Candy bars, sodas, even breakfast cereals would feature the likeness of the "creature." 1955 would see the release of the horror/science-fiction flick "King Goril," featuring a man in an ape suit abducting a pretty teenage girl and going on a rampage in a small southwestern Texas town.
ORRA and OHW would never admit as to the actual origin of the "beastmen," and Doctor Johnson was forced by Patton to terminate all remaining specimens. Johnson was forbidden from ever speaking of Project Silverback again, including in his 1950 autobiography Sapere Aude. While Johnson was devastated by the loss of his pet project he had invested so much time and energy into, he would instead be ordered to begin work on another Patton fever-dream: cryogenic freezing.
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Wow. This is creepy and fascinating. That and the conqueror worm chapter really show the weird side of this timeline.
Is this an allusion to the urban legend of an "Ape Project" in the USSR?
Is this an allusion to the urban legend of an "Ape Project" in the USSR?
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