To add to this
-The Skrulls
-The Kree
-Apoklips
-Brainiac
-The Shi’ar
-The Sonatarns
-The Brood
-The Chitauri
-Thangaraians
-The Covenant
And there are more just give me a little
"What Madness Is This?" Volume I: The Union Forever
- Thread starter Napoleon53
- Start date
-The Skrulls
-The Kree
-Apoklips
-Brainiac
-The Shi’ar
-The Sonatarns
-The Brood
-The Chitauri
-Thangaraians
-The Covenant
And there are more just give me a little
SuperZtar64
Banned
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy™ has this to say on the subject of Yankees:
Stay Away.
Really, stay away.
No, honestly, just stay away, they're horrible.
It is a popular and well-known fact throughout the universe that should you find yourself trapped in a room with an angry Yankee, the probability of surviving numbers in figures so infinitesimally small you have more chance of chanting a Beutelist rallying cry in a Europan aristocratic parlour and being served milk and cookies afterwards.
Yankees, as many people have spotted, are a tall, ruthless, and not terribly friendly subspecies of human from the continent of North America, on the planet Earth. North America was known primarily to have been a cold, vast wasteland, which is why one promising young politician decided to add a touch of colour to the American lifestyle by creating a race of evil, deadly warmachines to house the shriveled remains of his people's sanity. This is generally considered to have been a bad idea.
Lincoln, as this politician was known, enjoyed a meteoric existence in American society when his original planned career as a police officer was cut short due to him having killed all potential criminals to fight against already. Lincoln's newfound leadership ethic led to his rapid and brief flirtation with personal apotheosis. "That power would set me up above all other races", said Lincoln as he created the Yankees, aware that a god with no followers is rather like the rational part of a Hanover's mind: It doesn't exist if no one is imagining it, depending on it, or otherwise forming incorrect conclusions about the nature of its existence. That didn't stop Meinrad Beutel, who used Lincoln as the central theme of his bestselling book "Why Being an Insane Dictator Really Stunts One's Growth". True to form, the Yankees then exterminated him.
And thus, the Yankees were born. With nothing better to do than dig their way out of generations of brainwashing and incoherent racialist nonsense, they decided to bring about the death of every other living being in the universe, one by one, assuming that because they were all inferior anyway, they had to be successful. Yankees are powered by Cokie-Cola and hate, and don't try to tell them otherwise.
It was only after his final creation of the Yankees was signed off and filed that Lincoln spotted the major flaw in the design of these would-be conquerors. Unwilling to admit that his psychological calculations may be slightly askew, Lincoln's successors spend the next 200 years after his death trying to figure out a way for his New World-traversing warriors to navigate polite society, without resorting to the obvious solution: rationality.
Incidentally, Lincoln's earliest experiments were in the burgeoning field of Honky-Tonk phsyics, a discipline involved largely in the translation of precise, repetitive movements into mathematical models of reality. However, all traces of the choreographical sciences were thoroughly obliterated after Lincoln's accident, and the Yankees were forbidden, at all costs, to research the subject. Yankees never invite their leader up to dance.
Stay Away.
Really, stay away.
No, honestly, just stay away, they're horrible.
It is a popular and well-known fact throughout the universe that should you find yourself trapped in a room with an angry Yankee, the probability of surviving numbers in figures so infinitesimally small you have more chance of chanting a Beutelist rallying cry in a Europan aristocratic parlour and being served milk and cookies afterwards.
Yankees, as many people have spotted, are a tall, ruthless, and not terribly friendly subspecies of human from the continent of North America, on the planet Earth. North America was known primarily to have been a cold, vast wasteland, which is why one promising young politician decided to add a touch of colour to the American lifestyle by creating a race of evil, deadly warmachines to house the shriveled remains of his people's sanity. This is generally considered to have been a bad idea.
Lincoln, as this politician was known, enjoyed a meteoric existence in American society when his original planned career as a police officer was cut short due to him having killed all potential criminals to fight against already. Lincoln's newfound leadership ethic led to his rapid and brief flirtation with personal apotheosis. "That power would set me up above all other races", said Lincoln as he created the Yankees, aware that a god with no followers is rather like the rational part of a Hanover's mind: It doesn't exist if no one is imagining it, depending on it, or otherwise forming incorrect conclusions about the nature of its existence. That didn't stop Meinrad Beutel, who used Lincoln as the central theme of his bestselling book "Why Being an Insane Dictator Really Stunts One's Growth". True to form, the Yankees then exterminated him.
And thus, the Yankees were born. With nothing better to do than dig their way out of generations of brainwashing and incoherent racialist nonsense, they decided to bring about the death of every other living being in the universe, one by one, assuming that because they were all inferior anyway, they had to be successful. Yankees are powered by Cokie-Cola and hate, and don't try to tell them otherwise.
It was only after his final creation of the Yankees was signed off and filed that Lincoln spotted the major flaw in the design of these would-be conquerors. Unwilling to admit that his psychological calculations may be slightly askew, Lincoln's successors spend the next 200 years after his death trying to figure out a way for his New World-traversing warriors to navigate polite society, without resorting to the obvious solution: rationality.
Incidentally, Lincoln's earliest experiments were in the burgeoning field of Honky-Tonk phsyics, a discipline involved largely in the translation of precise, repetitive movements into mathematical models of reality. However, all traces of the choreographical sciences were thoroughly obliterated after Lincoln's accident, and the Yankees were forbidden, at all costs, to research the subject. Yankees never invite their leader up to dance.
That... that is actually beautiful. *Citizen Kane applaud gif here*
Speaking of, the Redux Expanded Universe thread will be up tonight!
Speaking of, the Redux Expanded Universe thread will be up tonight!
I have an idea for a story from the perspective of a being known as the broker seeing this timeline and being so disgusted that he asks to fix it but his bosses won’t let him intervene so he intervenes indirectly by isoting states at random that may not be purely good but will be able to fix the world in the fastest way possible
Why Thanos? he wants to literally kill aHalf of all life?
At least its random for him
For the RU and the people living it a chance of being randomly shot and living completely freely otherwise is better then what they currently have
Oh, I found better one:
Also related to this thread now, since he's made his grand entrance:
Now I’m just imagining all of the madness verse presidents getting thanos snapped after Napeolon gets the infinity gauntlet
Maybe stormbreaker is the holy lance?
Custer thinks he has him but napeolon looks at him and says
“You should have aimed for the head”
And then Custer gets snapped
Maybe stormbreaker is the holy lance?
Custer thinks he has him but napeolon looks at him and says
“You should have aimed for the head”
And then Custer gets snapped
I don’t know much about warhammer sadly but from what I do know about warhammer being dystopic I shudder to think of what it would be like here
okay point,but still hes only slightly better not a mile better,
The year is 40,000 AD. The God-Casear of the Galactic Human Imperium and his endless legions of devoted soldiers desperately fight against their foes:
The Oriental Remnant: The shattered remains of a once mighty and mystical race who destroyed their Empire (and created the Chaos God of Decadence) by smoking opium, buying white women, and lazing about. Intelligent, strange, and small in numbers, they use mystical Confucianist Magick to defeat their foes and see the future.
The Rusics: Hordes of vicious steppe fighters who only pay attention to the outside universe to wage war upon it. Their strange "Byzantinist Thought Power" is a representation of their collective will that allows them to engage in fantastical feats. When not fighting the rest of the Universe, they enjoy grain alcohol and fighting each other.
The Great Galactic Reich: A rising power under a strange militaristic ideology that values Service to the State above all else. While still small compared to the Imperium, their new technologies and brave warriors make them an unstoppable threat when mobilized. Generally kind to conquered Imperial worlds if said world converts to their ways.
The Yanquis: A horde of vicious aliens from another galaxy, bent on consuming the Universe. Lead by their "Hive-President" they set out to achieve "that destiny which is Manifest" and conquer everything they see. Imperials conquered by the Yanquis are forced to work providing every resource their pernicious overlords require or desire. By far the greatest external threat the Imperium faces. Should the Yanquis succeed, the Universe will be a lifeless, gutted husk that only they can inhabit.
The Chaos Gods: Anarchy, Heathenry, Decadence, and Fascism. These four beings inhabit an alternate dimension, and feed off the worst impulses of all life in the cosmos. The greatest threats the Imperium has ever faced, as the Gods corrupt the Imperium from within. Only the noble Inquisitors hold the line between Order and Imperium, and Chaos and Defeat!
AeroTheZealousOne
Monthly Donor
Muahahahaha! I'll make Vlad The Impaler of all people look compassionate. Thanks!
I read this in the voice of Peter Jones. Most fascinating entry, yet so much for Earth being mostly harmless...
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https://www.alternatehistory.com/fo...of-what-madness-is-this.457877/#post-18052289
Expanded Universe is live now guys! Have fun! Hope you guys enjoy being on Team Madness. lol
Also, this thread has over 100k views! Thanks a lot, everybody!
Expanded Universe is live now guys!
Have fun! Hope you guys enjoy being on Team Madness. lolAlso, this thread has over 100k views! Thanks a lot, everybody!
^
Awesome! I'm thinking of writing something for this new timeline after I'm done catching up with it. Maybe a short story taking place during one of the North American wars.
Anyways, here is a map that I made of the world in 1826, just after the Congress of Vienna and just before the collapse of the Spanish Empire.
This a map of this world in 1826, and as a result, only a few things are different map-wise from the original Madnessverse. These differences are as follows;
-The Republican Union annexed the Ontario Peninsula, the disputed areas of Maine and all of the OTL Maritime Provinces of Canada; Nova Scotia, New Brunswick and Prince Edward Island.
-The western Republican Union-Virginia border is different.
-Georgia annexed the West Florida republic in 1820.
-England continues to own Eastern Australia.
-England has claims over New Zealand.
-Scotland is not a puppet state of the French Empire.
-The internal and external borders of French India are different.
-The borders of Austrian Bengal are different and include some areas of Burma.
-The Netherlands own Ceylon/Sri Lanka.
-The Netherlands owns a little bit of the Gold Coast in Western Africa next to the Danish Gold Coast.
Awesome! I'm thinking of writing something for this new timeline after I'm done catching up with it. Maybe a short story taking place during one of the North American wars.
Anyways, here is a map that I made of the world in 1826, just after the Congress of Vienna and just before the collapse of the Spanish Empire.
This a map of this world in 1826, and as a result, only a few things are different map-wise from the original Madnessverse. These differences are as follows;
-The Republican Union annexed the Ontario Peninsula, the disputed areas of Maine and all of the OTL Maritime Provinces of Canada; Nova Scotia, New Brunswick and Prince Edward Island.
-The western Republican Union-Virginia border is different.
-Georgia annexed the West Florida republic in 1820.
-England continues to own Eastern Australia.
-England has claims over New Zealand.
-Scotland is not a puppet state of the French Empire.
-The internal and external borders of French India are different.
-The borders of Austrian Bengal are different and include some areas of Burma.
-The Netherlands own Ceylon/Sri Lanka.
-The Netherlands owns a little bit of the Gold Coast in Western Africa next to the Danish Gold Coast.
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So good to have Zoidy back. I have been waiting so long. lol
Also, I was cruising the depths of the forum via search bar "WMiT" and saw most people truly enjoyed 1.0. (I was actually trying to find what people were saying in general so I know what to keep and what to cut). One thing some people didn't appreciate fully (and it's fine, I just feel it's misunderstood) is this is supposed to be very darkly funny in some areas, like Fallout and other dystopias. Hell, Dr. Strangelove is my all-time favorite movie and a HUGE influence on WMiT. I'm not just gonna write a dystopia like WMiT with a straight-face and as realistic as possible. Not only is it basically mentally-unhealthy, it's no fun to me. Things like the somewhat goofy propaganda posters and the inclusion of Joe Steele, Oswald, and Nixon, and Romney, etc, make it fun and interesting (and I do give quite reasonable backstories for most all of them explaining why they exist). The story as a whole would be literally no different if I replaced "Joe Steele" with "Bill Lewis" (fictional/nonexistent) and made Chuck Oswald not JFK and just some random dude named Chuck Oswald. They would still do most of the same things. But honestly it would be boring and depressing. Also, for the purposes of illustrations, it makes it farrrrr easier to convey what's going on. Imagine if I had just used JFK's picture to represent Oswald. It would be jarring to say the least, and it wouldn't make sense because he's an iconic figure OTL. Most characters are fictional by the 1900s in 1.0 (entirety of Europe minus Hitler and just one or two other people), but having people like Graham and Oswald keeps people entertained more than a fictional character would most of the time. Sure, Milo Miles in Redux is a bit of an interesting character, but let's be honest, he's no Custer). So, I have fun with it! I think the fact that I have fun writing this is very well conveyed in most chapters. Some are a bit of a slog to write when the subject doesn't interest me as much, but most I feel you can really tell I was a little tongue-in-cheek and having a good time.
Also, I was cruising the depths of the forum via search bar "WMiT" and saw most people truly enjoyed 1.0. (I was actually trying to find what people were saying in general so I know what to keep and what to cut). One thing some people didn't appreciate fully (and it's fine, I just feel it's misunderstood) is this is supposed to be very darkly funny in some areas, like Fallout and other dystopias. Hell, Dr. Strangelove is my all-time favorite movie and a HUGE influence on WMiT. I'm not just gonna write a dystopia like WMiT with a straight-face and as realistic as possible. Not only is it basically mentally-unhealthy, it's no fun to me. Things like the somewhat goofy propaganda posters and the inclusion of Joe Steele, Oswald, and Nixon, and Romney, etc, make it fun and interesting (and I do give quite reasonable backstories for most all of them explaining why they exist). The story as a whole would be literally no different if I replaced "Joe Steele" with "Bill Lewis" (fictional/nonexistent) and made Chuck Oswald not JFK and just some random dude named Chuck Oswald. They would still do most of the same things. But honestly it would be boring and depressing. Also, for the purposes of illustrations, it makes it farrrrr easier to convey what's going on. Imagine if I had just used JFK's picture to represent Oswald. It would be jarring to say the least, and it wouldn't make sense because he's an iconic figure OTL. Most characters are fictional by the 1900s in 1.0 (entirety of Europe minus Hitler and just one or two other people), but having people like Graham and Oswald keeps people entertained more than a fictional character would most of the time. Sure, Milo Miles in Redux is a bit of an interesting character, but let's be honest, he's no Custer). So, I have fun with it! I think the fact that I have fun writing this is very well conveyed in most chapters. Some are a bit of a slog to write when the subject doesn't interest me as much, but most I feel you can really tell I was a little tongue-in-cheek and having a good time.
COCAINE AND OTHER DELIGHTS: THE STORY OF THE SWEET VICTORY COMPANY
COCAINE AND OTHER DELIGHTS:
THE STORY OF THE SWEET VICTORY COMPANY
Original logo of Sweet Victory soda, circa 1900
THE STORY OF THE SWEET VICTORY COMPANY
Original logo of Sweet Victory soda, circa 1900
One of the main ways that ORRA and RUMP kept their men on edge and ready to kill was a continual supply of the most popular soft drink in the Union: Carver Tonic. Carver Tonic had been all the rage in New York City, created be a black chemist and the son of Southron slaves named George Washington Carver. Though he was born after Strong Abe freed the slaves from Southron bondage, he was still beset by Southron racism and bigotry in his home state of Florida, which encouraged him to move north to Philadelphia, where he worked for a while as a chemist-in-training at Colonel Goodyear Enterprises, before he finally moved to New York to work as a pharmacist at a local drugstore, then known as Walker's Drug Parlor, at the young age of just 22. It would be on New York's 37th Street that the cultural phenomenon of Sweet Victory would be created.
It was summer, 1884. Originally, Carver had been trying to whip up a cure for low energy and exhaustion among the busy mailmen working around the clock in New York City. He first tried a ginger beer style drink that contained huge amounts of caffeine, but the mailmen found it unpleasant to the palate, and so he went back to the drawing board in between filling prescriptions and serving ice cream. He tried formula after formula, each to no success. Finally, on August 18, 1886, as the war in Mexico was erupting, the young man hit the Goldilocks zone for his beverage. To many of the mailmen, they found the overdose of caffeine to make them feel uncomfortable and like their hearts were beating out of their chests. In response, Carver had cut the amount of caffeine down and increased the sugar, but this still proved unpopular. Finally, Carver was at a neighborhood market when he noticed a stall selling unusual plants and ingredients from the Caribbean holdings. Their top-selling item was none other than the coca leaf. Being billed as a cheap source of energy, customers would buy the leaves and then chew on them for an instant pep. Carver tried one of the leaves and was shocked by how productive he suddenly became. He immediately bought a large bag of the leaves and rushed back to his lab under the stairs of the drugstore. In that small little area where he had failed so many times before, he began extracting the coca in its purest form. After much experimentation, he managed to refine it into a white powder, pure as sugar. He turned around and grabbed a bottle of his ginger beer and and sprinkled a tiny amount of the white powder into the mixture. He also added a tinge of lemon juice to really add some zing to the formula. Taking a swig, he instantly knew he had discovered the perfect energy drink.
Carver eagerly reported his findings to Robert Simpson Walker, owner of the Drug Parlor, and Walker was unimpressed. During Carver's impassioned description of the "miracle tonic" in Walker's upstairs office, Carver did his best to get his boss to help him make more and start selling it. Thinking the young man too excitable and brash and having thought his ginger beer disgusting, he rejected the chance to even take a sip. According to Carver's autobiography Sweet Success: The Story of One Negro and a Coca Leaf (Farnsworth Publishing House, 1940), Walker told him, "Georgey, I know you're trying to find your lot in life and help people out, but no amount of tonics and elixirs are going to grant them this magical amount of energy. We eat and we sleep, and no amount of cheap petals you bought at the flea market will make a real difference. I thought your ginger beer failure would convince you of this. Now please, by my mother's ectoplasm, we have a line downstairs, and a bunch of kids who want ice cream. Will you get back to work, please?" With a dejected sigh, young Carver nodded, tucking his bottle in the pocket of his apron and walking down the stairs to the store's large marble counter. As he worked, his face furrowed in contemplation and sadness, mixing up ice cream desserts for all the little school children, he began to have an idea. The children should try his mixture. With the lemon added and the extra sugar, they were sure to love it! Excitedly, his mind racing, he asked a little blonde-haired boy in suspenders and an old Great American War kepi is he would like to try a new soda for free.
Happy to try anything sweet and free, the boy replied, "What, mister? You mean I don't have to pay a nickel or nothing?"
Amused and quickly readying a clean glass full of ice, Carver smiled and replied, "No, sirree, boss! You just try this new ginger beer I mixed up and you tell me if it's good. If you like it, I'll give you a nickel, how 'bout that, son? If you don't like it, you can use that nickel to buy you something delicious to get the taste out."
The lad happily obliged, taking the glass by both hands and took a big swig, the froth from the ample carbonation giving him a little bubbly mustache. The boy's eyes dilated and he flashed a huge smile at Carver. "Wow-wee! That's scrumptious, Mr. Carver! Thank you! Can I finish it?"
"You surely may!" exclaimed Carver, slapping his hands together and rubbing the boy's head, jostling his old cap.
Before long, the other children soon wanted to try to the concoction, and when Mr. Walker came down the stairs to check on the store, all he saw was a sea of children asking to try "Mr. Carver's fizzy drink." By the next week, the children were almost manically gulping down the drink as fast as Carver could mix it up. Mr. Walker was astounded. The sales of his own "Walker Kola" were tanking, while Carver Tonic was a huge hit the likes of which he'd never seen. After a quick agreement, Walker allowed Carver to keep 25% of the profits from the sales of the drink. Carver soon realized he was going to need more coca leaves, as his current recipe called for twelve ounces of coca leaves to make one gallon of tonic. The neighborhood market could nowhere near supply enough of the "Cuban delights," and so Carver realized he would need another way to keep himself supplied.
It was then that he contacted Chester Gordon, a Scottish trader operating in the Caribbean who made frequent stops in New York to sell exotic goods. Carver offered up half his life savings to the captain if he would haul back a shipment of coca leaves, even in small quantities. Reluctant but seeing no harm in giving the young druggist a chance, Gordon agreed to bring back some leaves in his next trip. Several months later, the demand for Carver Tonic could not meet the supply, and Carver's dream was crumbling. Between the children and the mailmen he had originally formulated it for, he simply could not create enough tonic, and he was forced to stop selling it. But still he held out, hoping Captain Gordon would not let him down.
In early 1887, Gordon returned with a massive shipment of coca leaves he had acquired cheaply. The supply was so large that Mr. Walker had to rent out a storage facility just for the leaves. Gordon had actually raided the coast of Mexico as a privateer and found a farm in Yucatan where the plant was everywhere. Now, old Mr. Walker had one last concern. He worried that no one would remember Carver Tonic. After all, it had been months since the last bottle had been served, and he viewed children's interests as fleeting. Surely, they had moved on, he thought.
But he had once again underestimated Carver. Carver used the last of his savings to buy a wagon and mule, and on the side he painted an enormous advertisement: "Doc Carver's Famous Tonic Returns!" With his personal cylinder player mounted on top playing "The Union Forever," he began attracting children from all over and selling bottles of the drink to them on the side of the street. He was quickly dubbed "The Pied Piper of 37th Street," and even children and adults who would never go into Walker's were now buying from him on the side of the street, next to all the bratwurst and hamburger stands in Germantown. The combination of the the tonic with the German sandwiches was the final clincher that would cement Carver's legacy. He had just created America's beverage of choice.
First portrait of Carver as CEO of Sweet Victory Soda Company
Things quickly spiraled downhill as far as his relationship with Mr. Walker went. Walker began to resent Carver's success and disliked how Carver was spending most of his time selling for almost 100% personal profit outside on his wagon instead of selling it inside in the drug parlor. This led Walker, by mid-1887, to ask Carver to either sell his beverage in the store exclusively for 35% profit or end their agreement. Carver shocked him by choosing to end the agreement. Using his profits, Carver had bought his own storage facility and moved all of his supplies to this new location. There, on the outskirts of New York City, Carver opened up "The Sweet Victory Soda Company." He changed the name to become "more American" and to celebrate the continual successes in Mexico by the Union Army. Within a few short weeks, he had new contracts selling to other drug stores around the city. At that point, according to his autobiography, "Everything went boom! I couldn't turn around without another store wanting to sell my Sweet Victory. Before long, I bought out the Long Island Cannery Company and opened a second headquarters there. By the end of 1887, all of New England was wanting my soda, and I had bought Chowder City Cannery in Boston and the McConnell Beverage Company in Rhode Island. It was amazing, and I thanked God Almighty for my success. He had shown his light down upon this poor negro boy trying to make an honest living, and he placed that coca leaf in my hand and guided me on to success. Praise God, for he truly is good!"
It was around this time that Carver met Lucinda Bates, a negro seamstress at a local tailor where Carver was getting his new suits pressed. They would quickly fall in love and were married by June, 1888. In six months, their son Praise God Carver would be born. Carver now had an heir to build his company up even more for. As tens of thousands of bottles of Sweet Victory began to sell around the country, the biggest sale was yet to come: a government contract. Apparently, Custer himself enjoyed the beverage frequently, and thought a large shipment of it might ease the nerves of his RUMP and ORRA officers currently dismantling what had been Mexico. The sale earned Carver millions. He moved out to a private estate in the New York countryside and named it Castle Carver. His original warehouse in New York City was demolished and rebuilt as a state of the art facility. Hundreds of workers slaved away around the clock, making Custer's new minimum wage. Train after train was loaded up at the new railway delivery center on the west side of the building. Soon, Sweet Victory opened up a secondary headquarters in Shicagwa to distribute to the Midwest. Even with so many bottles going to the military contract, a third headquarters was opened up in New Antioch, Lewisiana, in 1890. In just a few short years, Carver had gone from a nobody to one of the most successful men in America.
But he wasn't done yet. He continually invented better ways to refine cocaine and found new uses for it, such as an oil that could be cooked with (recommended for morning cuisine to wake the consumer up) to cocaine toothpaste. Only some of these products were popular, but he was about to hit paydirt once more in 1895. For it was then that, in his private laboratory in Castle Carver, he created "Pep-O-Step." These little lozenges were highly potent cocaine hard candies with a mentholated mint flavor. These proved incredibly popular with the military and businessmen working long hours, and soon he was the proud owner of the Sweet Victory Candy Company. Despite offering a mediocre chocolate bar named "Chococo," Pep-O-Step continued to be the staple of his confectionery company, but it marketed poorly with children due to his intense mint flavor. In 1902, Sweet Victory Candy would finally release "Go-Go-Pep Candied Lozenges." These lozenges were available in tins as squares, individually wrapped in wax paper, or could be bought in round tubes of tin foil. These new "cocaine sweeties" were overwhelmingly popular with America's children and were available in three original flavors: cherry, orange, and lemon. Carver wisely had waited to introduce the new treats until the First Annual Custer Youth Brigade Jamboree was held in Philadelphia, with almost one million children in attendance. At the Jamboree, several hundred Sweet Victory employees dressed as "Coco the Clown" and passed the candies out. CYB Grand Headmaster Teddy Roosevelt remarked, "I have never seen such high-energy children in all my days! America's children are as strong as bull moose!"
But the success of the Sweet Victory company wasn't being ignored by the business world. In Shicagwa, Reginald Curtiss opened up the Curtiss Confectionary Company and began producing "Little Sweetums," a chewy chocolate flavored small candy, wrapped in a distinctive brown-and-white packaging. He followed up this success with the introduction of the Bacco Bits Chocolate Bars. Bacco Bits contained high amounts of dextrose and "real bits of tobacco in every bite to give you energy!" Bacco Bits was overwhelming successful, and would eventually, in the mid-20th century, change its name to Joe Bar and become an icon in its own right.
Carver was upset at all the new candy companies cutting in on his turf and he decided he needed to once again diversify his assets. In 1908, he would become one the largest shareholders in Rudolf Kuhn's Pentagon Oil Company, operating in Texas and the former Mexican states. Pentagon Oil would eventually grow to be one of the most powerful companies on earth. Carver would wind up with the fourth most powerful corporation in the Union, behind only Colonel Goodyear Enterprises, Colonel Pierce Munitions, and Old Kinderhook. In 1910, the Manifest Destiny Party would proclaim Carver a "scientific genius and the face of the Negro people of the Union." Carver had been an MDP member since 1890. Carver's life was not yet over, and as the world braced for the First Great War, he would be the ambassador from Custer's administration to the hordes of young black men of military age....
George Washington Carver in full Manifest Destiny Party uniform, circa 1910
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The mental image of George Washington Carver, literally handing cocaine to a small child should not have made me laugh that hard, but it did. I sleep well tonight.