CHAPTER 1
  • "The said States hereby severally enter into a firm league of friendship with each other, for their common defense, the security of their liberties, and their mutual and general welfare, binding themselves to assist each other, against all force offered to, or attacks made upon them, or any of them, on account of religion, sovereignty, trade, or any other pretense whatever. The President of these United States in Congress Assembled, elected for four years at a time by the Members of the Congress Assembled, is to keep these Articles observed and to be chief negotiator of state relations, captain of international diplomacy, and has the right to form alliances, form trade agreements, and go to war upon consent of the Congress here Assembled on this day in the Year of Our Lord, March the First, Seventeen Hundred and Eighty-One, and all future Congresses Assembled, So Help Us God."

    -Articles of Confederation and Perpetual Union


    "What Madness Is This? That brother might fight brother, and father might fight son? That countless homes and families be ripped asunder all for the sake of their piece of dirt? of their political party? Why must we hate each other so?"

    -Thomas Jefferson


    "Gentlemen! I give you American justice! Down with these traitors who send us to die in wars of uncommon stupidity! Down with those that defrauded our democratic system! Down with those who delay our veterans' blood-wages year after year! Down with the President! And let's hang that bastard Hamilton!"

    -Willard Crawford, leader of the 1801 coup that overthrew the United States government

    OFFICIAL TIMELINE TRAILER

    A WARNING FROM THE MADNESSVERSE

    FUNDAMENTALISTS TRAILER


    "WHAT MADNESS IS THIS?"

    REDUX: THE UNION FOREVER



    Preface:

    I want to thank all the wonderful commenters and readers who helped make this timeline so fun and interesting, if dark and dystopian, to write the first time, almost exactly six whole years ago when I was only about 17 years old. I am 23 now! Now here's to a fresh take on an old favorite, everyone! Expect classic characters, such as the unforgettable Chuckie Oswald, Joe Steele, and, of course, good ol' Charles Goodyear to return, plus lots of new ones too! Hang onto your blood-spattered tricorns and start bowing to your radioactive statues of Billy Graham, because here we go!






    CHAPTER ONE:

    HARD TIMES IN THE LIVINGSTON SUGAR HOUSE

    Rusty, squeaky chains clinked as the prisoners were forced into their cells. The air was a foul, musty, dusty, rotten-sweet, stagnant cloud that could barely be inhaled without wretching. Straw covered hard, cold floors. The man looked around. He had gone from Vice President of the United States in Congress Assembled to a prisoner in a moldy jail in the capital of that very nation he governed. His name was Alexander Hamilton, and America had just about had enough of him to last a lifetime. The other prisoner joining him was John Adams, the President of the United States in Congress Assembled, and a bungling, inept, power-hungry one at that. "If Adams had done as he was told more," thought Hamilton, "we wouldn't be in this rancid dungeon." The date was May 18, 1801, and Willard Crawford was currently leading Revolutionary War veterans in a massive coup against the failing fledgling US government. The rest of the United States to the south was currently rapidly disintegrating as well.

    The guard--a gaunt unshaven chap wearing a brown coat of the minutemen volunteers and a worn black shako hat--shoved Hamilton to the floor. "You bloody tropical bastard! This is on you.!" He pointed a crooked, calloused finger at the Vice President while mocking his Caribbean birthplace. "You'll hang for your crimes, you trickster. This whole bloody country wants your guts on a fork. Enjoy your vacation here, damn-your-eyes."

    Adams stood tall and proud, even in chains. His periwig was a mess, however, and his navy blue breeches had gravy stains from the luncheon he had been arrested at. "You absolute rapscallion, you! I shall have you keelhauled for accosting us like this! This is MY country! Do you know how much I sacrificed?!"

    The guard looked at him straight in the eyes. Slowly, the guard replied, "Yes, I know how much you sacrificed. Your soul, your honor as a gentleman, and whatever goodwill the American people once had for you. I lost my right foot at Valley Forge, and not for you to just destroy everything. Rot in Hell, traitor!" With that, the lanky minuteman closed the heavy iron cell door and locked it behind him. His jackboots, one filled with a wooden prosthetic, clunked away down the creaky floorboards of the Sugar House.

    It had all spiraled out of control. From the moment George Washington stepped down as president, things had gone down a crazy, looping pit of self-destruction for the infant nation. The fact that President Washington was able to masterfully keep the states united while following the Articles of Confederation and Perpetual Union (despite his own supreme hatred of said document) was emblematic of the man's personal strength of character, mental fortitude, and extremely capable political skills. Other Presidents of the United States in Congress Assembled had preceded him, but none had been given so much power to consolidate the nation's strength, or really much power to speak of at all. Washington had gotten all of the Thirteen Colonies to agree with the Articles and had served two terms, even keeping wild cards Maryland and Rhode Island in the fold of the faithful. When he stepped down after completing his second four-year term, he was visibly aged and losing his vision. He claimed that, while he served in the name of the Articles, they simply were a poor excuse for something such a large government should operate on. He also claimed that, "The States will walk all over future presidents. I pity the men who get my position. God bless and keep them." The Good General also worried that future presidents might find a way to abuse their power under pretense of not having enough power granted to them, which was one reason why he stepped down after his second term, hoping to set an example to those who would follow.

    The portly man from Braintree, MA, who was eager to get into Washington's seat of power was none other than one of the very men whose political maneuvering had prevented the adoption of a document stronger than the Articles: John Adams. He had very little in common with Washington when he served as his vice president; another of Washington's ideas was to have presidents and vice presidents be from opposing parties or ideologies. Adams, however, wasn't about to pick Thomas Jefferson, even though he was the writer of the Declaration of Independence (which was a much more popular and purposeful document than the Articles ever were). Many were avidly campaigning for Jefferson to get the job, but Adams would have none of it. The two men simply did not get along. In fact, they hated each other. Washington was accommodating and listened to what Adams had to say. Jefferson, to Adams, was a self-righteous Anti-Federalist and had come close to screaming in Adams' face when the Federalists blocked the request from Washington for a new "Constitution of the States." Adams and his men knew that if the Articles went down, so would they, and their dreams for a strong centralized government later on down the road would be over, and a more free, more liberal government would be formed.


    Alexander Hamilton

    So, when Alexander Hamilton was picked by Adams as his Vice President, it came as little surprise to most. Hamilton was a quasi-monarchist who had advocated for an American King years before. Loved by some, hated by many, Hamilton was a target for severe political attack, but the Federalists were determined to pull him and Adams over the finish line... by whatever means necessary. The Federalists outright bribed Congressmen to get votes. When Jefferson requested that an amendment be made to the Articles allowing "free and fair elections by the people of these States," the Federalists had difficulty taking him seriously. Surely, they thought, putting the right to vote for who would be President in the hands of the uneducated mobs was a pure and terrible folly, and all manner of raucous crackpots and lunatics could run. Then, oily Hamilton arrived at a new idea. A very, very corrupt idea, but it was for "the Good of the Union."


    Fraunces Tavern

    The idea was to allow the Jeffersonians to go ahead and amend the articles allowing for a popular vote on who would be the next president. Federalists would then stuff the ballots for Adams and Hamilton to keep "those lunatics Jefferson and Madison" from attaining power. After all, there had never been popular elections before, so no one would notice a few "kinks in the system." Adams and a small group of elite Federalists, including Hamilton, Thomas Cotesworth Pinckney, and Rufus King, gathered in Fraunces Tavern, in the adopted Federalist capital of New York City, for a mini-convention, very much behind closed doors and in the shadows. The group referred to themselves as "The Friends of the Union." In secret, the men discussed their "ingenious" plans over some ale, and laid out the plot. Hamilton took charge, with Adams being reluctant at first, being somewhat honest even if he was power-hungry. A few others resisted as well. Hamilton eventually browbeat them into accepting it "in the name of the public good." The Federalists were what America needed, he proclaimed, and the Anti-Federalists would bring about the "promiscuity of the States." An ironic line, considering Hamilton himself was the bastard son of two loose persons in the Caribbean colonies. More plans were drawn up to prevent any more Federalists than necessary from learning of the plot, only letting enough know to carry it out.

    Strong, centralized government was the motto among the Friends of the Union, even though they knew it would not be popular among the people to phrase it that way. So, they promised whatever the people wanted, knowing it wouldn't matter in the end. Benjamin Franklin finished assisting the Congress in drafting the amendment that enabled elections and then, loosing his balance and falling down the steps in front of Independence Hall, died two days later. James Madison delivered his eulogy and published The Dear Old Man, a short book on his dealings with and admiration for Franklin, and dedicated it to "Benjamin Franklin, the American Prometheus."

    Adams liked the Old Man as well as anyone else, but Franklin had sided with the independents like Washington, and more-than-not drifted toward the Anti-Federalists. Plus, the last thing Adams and Hamilton needed was for Franklin to use his genius to figure out the ballot-stuffing and give some wise quip, bringing the entire Federalist Party into the gutter. Yes, Franklin's death was quite convenient for them, no matter how sad.

    When it came time for the election, only white males over the age of twenty were allowed to vote. When the votes were being counted at their respective state capitols, the Federalists went to work. Stuffing, erasing, re-writing, and voting multiple times. It was a dark day of cheating, bribery, and outright corruption on an incredible scale unseen before since the days of Rome. The cheating was accompanied by an unimaginable amount of anti-Jeffersonian propaganda, accusing the Declaration of Independence author of outright atheism and of fornication with his female slaves. Adams and Hamilton knew, though, that if too much of the vote percentage went for them, people would become suspicious. So, they had dispatched orders to make sure it wasn't a ridiculous victory. They thought 60, 65, or 70 percent of the vote would seem believable but strong. Yes, around that number would provide a sham mandate for Federalist programs and policies. Thus, three weeks later, when all was said and done, John Adams became the Seventeenth President of the United States in Congress Assembled, and Hamilton became the Vice President of the same.

    List of Presidents of the United States in Congress Assembled:​
    • Peyton Randolph (September 5, 1774 - October 22, 1774) Virginia
    • Henry Middleton (October 22, 1774 - October 26, 1774) S. Carolina
    • Peyton Randolph (May 10, 1775 - May 24, 1775) Virginia
    • John Hancock (May 24, 1775 - October 29, 1777) Mass.
    • Henry Laurens (November 1, 1777 - December 9, 1778) S. Carolina
    • John Jay (December 10, 1778 - September 28, 1779) New York
    • Samuel Huntington (September 28, 1779 - July 10, 1781) Connecticut
    • Thomas McKean (July 10, 1781 - November 5, 1781) Delaware
    • John Hanson (November 5, 1781 - November 4, 1782) Maryland
    • Elias Boudinot (November 4, 1782 - November 3, 1783) New Jersey
    • Thomas Mifflin (November 3, 1783 - June 3, 1784) Pennsylvania
    • Richard Henry Lee (November 30, 1784 - November 4, 1785) Virginia
    • John Hancock (November 23, 1785 - June 5, 1786) Massachusetts
    • Nathaniel Gorham (June 6, 1786 - November 3, 1786) Massachusetts
    • Arthur St. Claire (February 2, 1787 - November 4, 1787) Pennsylvania
    • Cyrus Griffin (January 22, 1788 - November 15, 1788) Virginia
    • New Amendment to Articles allows four year terms with no limit on how many times someone may run
    • George Washington (April 30, 1789 - March 4, 1797) Virginia
    • New Amendment to Articles allows election by popular vote
    • John Adams (March 4, 1797 - May 18, 1801) Massachusetts

    Jefferson had suspicions, but he was not willing to accuse anyone without absolute proof and had no desire to spark a civil war or riots. They had a few squealers who mentioned something about the Federalists running a cheating ring, but when several Democratic-Republicans were also caught with their hands in the cookie jar in a number of locales, Jefferson and Madison conceded defeat and vowed to run and win the next time, fair and square. They had no choice but to be quiet about the rumors or else drag their own party down, too.

    With Adams and Hamilton in the Presidential Mansion, the Federalists entered their own metaphorical high castle on a hill and started, after a few months, to drift farther and farther away from political reality. Before long, every governing body in the country was stacked with Federalists and these ill-gotten gains had the Federalists running victory laps all around Philadelphia, the national capital. And that leads to one of the first acts the Federalist government ordered: that the national capital and capitol be moved to New York City, the heart of the Federalist Party.

    But now, back to where our story began. Hamilton and Adams were sweating it out in the Livingston Sugar House, lying on straw mats and listening to the sounds of rats scurry through the walls. It was over for their time in power. Their ultimate fate would be revealed soon, and the future of North America--and even all of human civilization--would be set in motion....

    Emblem of the Federalist Party


    George Washington announces he will not seek a third term in this early 19th century painting
     
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    CHAPTER 2
  • CHAPTER TWO:
    HOW IT ALL WENT WRONG

    John Adams, last President of the United States of America in Congress Assembled


    "Then Make Them Exist."

    -Vice President Alexander Hamilton on the non-existent US Army and Navy


    The first international crisis to hit Adams when he first took office in 1797 was something that had been going on for a decade in Europe and that George Washington had tried to distance himself from as far as possible. The French Revolution had toppled the out-of-touch Bourbon King Louis XVI and beheaded him and his family in the most glaring act of regicide to ever sweep Europe. The whole of Europe was engulfed in war as the French tried to imitate their American cousins across the Atlantic, only they added more blood and much, much more beheading. Guilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette, French Hero of the American War for Independence, had taken it upon himself to return to his homeland to be the George Washington of France. He seemed, however, to go off track fairly soon, and after 1790 and the Feast of the Federation (which was the establishment of the constitutional monarchy), Washington's adopted son lost power to much more radical men, like Maximilien François Marie Isidore de Robespierre, who turned around and beheaded Louis. It wasn't long after that Lafayette was deemed an enemy of the French Republic and a monarchist and executed, severely damaging ties with the USA even further.


    The Marquis de Lafayette


    Robespierre
    After Robespierre's own execution a short while after that, the Committee of Public Safety which had long governed France lost power, and was succeeded by the less-radical Directory. Less-radical or not, the American public loathed the French Republicans and Washington and Adams' diplomats told them that the war debts were owed to the Bourbon French Crown, not to the Directory. France became enraged and citizens burned American flags and effigies of American politicians in the streets.

    What followed was known as the R.S.T. Affair. The R.S.T. Affair took its name from the letters R, S, and T, which were used instead of the French ambassadors' real names in documents released by Adams' administration. In the documents, the oily and infamous Monsieur Talleyrand, French Foreign Minister, demanded that America stop following the Madison Treaty of 1794, which made Great Britain America's chief trading partner. France was furious over the treaty, and as French and British ships seized trading vessels dealing with their enemies, 300 American ships were captured or sunk and their crews held for ransom or pressed into service. Talleyrand demanded not only money to pay that ransom, but also money to even begin bargaining in the first place, and then more money to pay off the now legendary war debts from the American Revolution. Adams, thinking the same way as most all of the American public, was massively insulted, and refused to kowtow to the Directory. Adams was willing to accept the imprisonment of the sailors, thanks to Hamilton discussing it with him. Hamilton promised that the sailors, as neutrals, would remain in prison until the next French government took power and tried to get in the USA's good graces ("and they always do"). This, however, was very much a rock-and-hard-place for Adams, as he looked strong to France while looking weak for not getting American boys back by force if need be.


    French Foreign Minister Talleyrand

    Not agreeing to play Talleyrand's game incensed the Directory even further. On July 4, 1798, off the coast of southern Ireland, the USS Trenton was sunk and the USS Charleston was captured by 12 French Republican Navy warships after some sort of insult shouting match grew out of control. The French had killed much of the crews, and among the dead was US Ambassador to France and devout Federalist, Charles Cotesworth Pinckney. His brother Thomas would later be a part of the Friends of the Union group under Adams.


    C. C. Pinckney
    The American public cried out for war, but Adams hesitated. If he declared war, it would likely entail an Anglo-American Alliance, something which made him and many other people uncomfortable, to say the least. The Madison Treaty had already made them appear a British satellite. Hamilton was not sure what to do, for once, and simply sent the Directory an order to hand over every hostage and forget America's war debts and the Pinckney Affair would be forgiven. France bluntly refused and guillotined the captain of the USS Charleston as a response.

    Finally, he and the Congress opened discussions with the British Empire for a possible alliance to punish France. King George III, growing more wild and insane every day, suddenly broke the deal, much to the disdain of his ambassadors. They said if he was of his right mind, he would have agreed, but his insanity did not void his orders as monarch. Britain was not going to ally itself to the USA, that was now clear to the government in New York. Adams fumbled day after day as public outcry grew against his bungling of the RST and Pinckney Affairs and his own growing human rights violations, like his imprisoning of Worthington the newspaperman for simply mocking him in print "during a time of national crisis."

    Hamilton had a new strategy. If America would be preoccupied fighting off the French, the people would be less inclined to quarrel over "petty politics." Adams retorted by saying the US Army and Navy was almost nonexistent. Hamilton replied simply: "Then make them exist." Adams smarted back again, saying that there were no young officers to lead them after they "are made to exist." Hamilton answered that old Revolutionary War officers could be called out of retirement, and that France's star general, Napoleone di Buonaparte, was entrenched in an Egyptian adventure, surrounded by Lord Nelson's British fleet. Hamilton went on, formulating crazy ideas as he spoke, telling Adams that it was now a "perfect" time to seize Louisiana from the Spanish, allied to France by the Treaty of San Ildefonso. Adams couldn't believe what he was hearing, at least at first. Then, he brought the elderly Washington out of retirement and told him to prepare to invade Louisiana and told Admiral John Paul Jones to ready the "fleet" to combat the French Republican Navy. Washington and Jones couldn't believe what they were hearing either. Hamilton was having a go at being the American Talleyrand, and it would end in one of the biggest disasters in history.


    John Paul Jones



    "Grand Marshal of the Armies of the States by Congress Assembled Mustered" -awkward title given to George Washington, show here as he inspects the troops in Georgia

    And so, on January 1, 1799, the US government rang in the New Year by declaring war on the Republic of France and the Kingdom of Spain. The Downfall had begun.

    Thomas Jefferson and his Anti-Federalists said the war was utterly and reprehensibly stupid, and that Adams had been brainwashed by Hamilton into thinking the tiny USA could become a military giant overnight. As for Hamilton himself, they said he was simply an egotistical incompetent who had lost his mind playing some feverish game of wits with the French Foreign Minister who outclassed him in every regard. Some arrests were made of Jeffersonians for "seditious speech and slander against the President of the United States in Congress Assembled." More outrage followed. Adams just locked himself up in the Presidential Mansion with his advisers and stayed there, far from the public eye. Hamilton continued directing affairs, becoming the real power in the government and assuming a vast amount of power under the guise of "wartime security matters."

    On March 5, 1799, the US Army crossed the border into Louisiana, the men eager to fight under the Great Washington, and most expected quick victories. They weren't disappointed when, at what the Americans called the Battle of Alligator Ridge, a "Spanish" force was absolutely dismantled by Washington's "genius." In reality, it had been only a small detachment of scouts, most not even Spanish but native Creoles and Indians, who had been making camp and were simply slaughtered in their sleep in a surprise attack. Washington marched his men into the mouth of Hell at the Battle of Boggy Swamp (March 20), where the Spanish were defeated but still handed the Americans an ungodly amount of casualties, followed by the Battle of Port Richelieu (March 28) in which the attempted sacking of the Spanish port ended after several failed artillery barrages and infantry attacks (the Battle of Port Richelieu also entailed a minor naval debacle on the American side). If the US command had had any sense, they would have either attempted a landing near New Orleans, which, if conquered, would have meant the end of Spanish rule. Another option would have been an attack on the sparsely-populated north, which would have eventually resulted in American rule everywhere but New Orleans (which would enable an easy capture of the city at a later date).

    Instead, as Jefferson put it, the war was an unmitigated military disaster consisting of American soldiers wandering around swamps, getting shot at by Spanish scouts, and having dysentery. The elderly Washington said they just "needed to show some gumption. If we do that, Louisiana is ours." 2500 American soldiers had been killed. 1800 Louisiana Royal conscript troops had died, mostly militia, and made the formerly friendly Francophone population hate the Americans. Not helping matters was the continual breakdown of the chain of command, as soldiers from some states refused to follow orders from officers of others. A particularly nasty episode involved the raping of some twenty women by several "Green Mountain Boys" from Vermont. They had refused to stop raiding a small village upon being told to do so by a Virginia officer. Shortly thereafter, the Virginia officer had them executed. Vermont was up in arms over the matter, and Virginia refused to reprimand their man for enforcing the code of conduct. This was merely foreshadowing events that would happen years later.


    The Battle of Boggy Swamp

    The final nail in the Louisiana Invasion coffin came in December, 1799, when the legendary George Washington was shot and killed by an Indian scout. An ironic death, considering Indian scouts in the French and Indian War had shot his commander and deliberately spared him at Braddock's Defeat. The nation wept bitterly as their hero's casket was marched home and buried at his Mount Vernon estate. The Invasion was over, the exalted commander and revolutionary icon was dead, and massacres of several towns by fuming American soldiers exiting the Spanish colony left the Louisianans bitter and wanting revenge.

    Meanwhile, Admiral Jones had proven himself a genius at avoiding sending the pitiful "US Navy" to the bottom of the drink. A series of naval retreats and then long-distance rocketry attacks had harassed and annoyed the French and saved American ships and souls. He was the only naval commander during the Franco-American War who actually won battles.

    Hamilton was not happy though. He demanded Jones pick an "easy" target and attack outright. The disastrous Battle of Port Richelieu had just occurred at that point, and the public needed something to cheer about. Protesting vehemently, Jones refused to go on a suicide binge. Hamilton had him removed and replaced with the pitiful Admiral Nathanael Butterworth. Butterworth followed orders and attacked a French fleet south-west of the English Channel and lost half his ships. The US Navy drifted back to New York Harbor beaten and bloodied, and it was announced that it wouldn't be a seaworthy fleet in a year. Adams and Hamilton were horrified.


    Spanish troops hold fast against an American attack

    The American public was furious with the Adams Administration and open calls for impeachment became commonplace in everyday life. Thomas Jefferson's support reached new heights, and James Madison began referring to Hamilton as "Alexander the Ungreat." Napoleone di Buonaparte had, on October 9, returned to France and shortly thereafter set himself up as dictator of the country, and he was not pleased with the nascent Americans being a pain in country's rear. Buonaparte did not even consider it an actual war or campaign worth fighting and thought more of the United States as a small child that needed a whipping to behave.

    The election of 1801 was fast approaching, and the Federalists knew they were going to lose in an unimaginable landslide. But they would win thanks to voting fraud, said Hamilton, just like the first time. This time, though, the citizens were suspicious. Minutemen announced they would make sure the election was on the up-and-up. Adams sank into a deep depression, and just before the campaigning season announced to friends he was dropping out to make room for Hamilton and Rufus King to run. Hamilton panicked and barely convinced him to stay on board, as Hamilton was so unpopular that if he won by any percentage the people would know it was fraud.

    And here they both were now, rotting in the Sugar House.

    "Damn it, Hamilton," moaned Adams while trying to find a clean spot on the floor to sit down. "This is all your fault. I could be back in Braintree by now retired and enjoying my family. Instead you dragged me into this game of yours. I hate my life and I hate you and I hate this godforsaken country. We should have just stayed under King George instead of dealing with this... this shite."

    Suddenly, a ruckus could be heard out the single barred window of their cell. A crowd was gathering outside. Adams figured they were coming to jeer at them in their cell. However, the President noticed they were all going on about something else.

    "He's done it! Andrew Jackson has done it!" yelled one citizen, holding a newspaper high over his head out on the cobblestone street in front of the Sugar House. "Andy Jackson is leading the Carolinas into secession! The whole bloody country is falling apart! The paper says Vermont and Virginia are next!"

    The crowd reacted with shock and anger. Almost immediately, they turned to the Sugar House and began pelting it with rocks and hissing and booing. They all knew two men were to blame for everything unfolding. And they would have their necks.
     
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    CHAPTER 3
  • CHAPTER THREE:
    "HANG THE BUGGERS!"


    Minutemen stand ready to overthrow the US government and imprison the President and Vice President, 1801
    The year of 1801 was the brutal final one for the United States. The economy was in the metaphorical toilet, the homeless and jobless rates exploded, and the French conflict was an undeniable defeat for the country. French and Spanish soldiers were regularly making excursions upon American soil, not on the intent of conquering --for the two European countries had more than enough restless territory on their hands-- but to force Adams to agree to a humiliating peace. The French were willing to be lenient on the US, as there was no real damage done to them or theirs. The Spanish, still seething over the Louisiana attack, wanted more of a punishment.

    The punishment came in the form of gradual payments to France and larger, quicker economic payments to the Spanish Crown, agreed to at the Second Treaty of Paris, which pushed the US economy further into the abyss. Adams and Hamilton's government was completely destroyed. There was no way to fix the economy. Outright anarchy was spreading across the land and Indian attacks were becoming more and more frequent on the frontier. It was hopeless. Finally, a Federalist official and member of the Friends of the Union had been beaten by a mob until he had spilled all the details of the Federalist rigging system. It was only a matter of time before someone took matters into their own hands to get rid of the Federalists once and for all. That someone was a 54 year-old former New York Army colonel.

    That same Willard Crawford stood in the morning sunshine in full vintage Continental Army uniform. He took a deep breath. He was just four blocks from the Presidential Palace. Four blocks from removing the cancerous United States government once and for all. He knew soon news would be breaking of Andrew Jackson pulling the Carolinas out of the US. He knew the end was near for the Grand Experiment. He knew that that morning, May 18, 1801, would be the last that the cheaters and frauds and Federalists would ever sit in the Presidential Mansion. He took a step back and said a short prayer to himself. Then, the middle-aged ginger-haired man turned to his companion veterans and said, "Well, gentlemen, I suppose we're about to overthrow Johnny Boy and Alexander. Top of the morning and all of that rot, what? Let's do this."

    The streets were desolate. Everyone had locked up as the mobs of minutemen had come streaming into the city. Now, hundreds of patriots from near and far had come to follow Crawford and remove the Commander-In-Chief. Crawford gazed out at the sea of care-worn faces. Other men also were wearing their old revolutionary uniforms. Others wore their everyday attire but carried their powder and pouches of musket balls, almost making them look like pirates. Still others wore second-hand British and French uniforms. Even a few pieces of Spanish equipment could be seen, acquired during the disaster in Louisiana. Some men carried axes, others sword, some multiple pistols. Banners from every group under the sun were flying in the breeze. There was, however, a severe lack of the national flag. Crawford realized these men thought the country was finished. They were ready to just remove the cancer and attempt to pick up the pieces of what was left. Quietly, he went and heaved himself up onto his horse. He galloped to the place he thought the most men would hear him. He raised his bicorne hat above his head and declared, "Gentlemen! I give you American justice! Down with these traitors who send us to die in wars of uncommon stupidity! Down with those that defrauded our democratic system! Down with those who delay our veterans' blood-wages year after year! Down with the President! And let's hang that bastard Hamilton!" The men went absolutely mad over that battle cry and surged forward, war drums setting the beat of their steps.

    As Crawford's men began their march to the Presidential Mansion, the Mansion itself was in chaos. As Adams received word of the the coup gathering just a few blocks away, he stood up from his table suddenly, panicking, and spilling scalding gravy all over his trousers. "Confound it all!" he shrieked, as went into a near panic attack. He grabbed the gravy boat and hurled it across the room, shattering it into a thousand pieces. "Guards! Defend the Mansion! Defend your government and do your duty! We must secure a route to Canada and build a government-in-exile."

    Hamilton barged into the room immediately after and announced, "John! It's over! They've sealed off the streets. We can't escape."

    Adams took a Russian-made sword down from his wall. "We will never surrender! We will not give up power to a bunch of ignorant veterans who don't even know what they even want."

    A nearby officer in a bright blue uniform and shako hat spoke up, "My men are already taking their positions, your excellency. We will shoot out of the windows and make them pay dearly for attacking their President."

    Meanwhile, Crawford was already closing in, tightening his vice on the Mansion and totally surrounding it. Hundreds of men were ready to do this and finally get rid of the Federalists forever, at whatever cost. Crawford could see the Mansion now, muskets and long rifles bristling out of its windows. Almost as soon as he saw a puff of smoke come from one of the windows, a musket ball came whistling past his head. "Men of the Militias! Forward! Fire at will! Let's do this for our liberties and our wives!" screamed another mounted officer nearby, waving a sword in the air.

    And the attack was on. The din of battle grew tremendous as the rebellion fired into the Mansion as others tore down fences and gates blocking their path. Dozens of men were already dropping. But they pressed on, determined now more than ever. Crawford galloped forward and jumped a new hole in the fence line. Whooping and hollering, packs of rebels followed him. More bullets sent up little puffs of dirt all around. Blood spattered into the air as the meaty smacks of the musket balls driving through charging men rang out. And still... they pressed on. The militia rebels busted down the front door of the Mansion, knocking one off its hinges and crushing a Federalist marine. They all cheered and bayoneted their way past several more.

    Adams already knew he was finished. The loyalist troops were already almost completely slaughtered and there he stood in the hallway with a Russian fencing sword and an Ottoman flintlock pistol. Just as he thought about joining the last few Loyalists in death by charging into the fray, the doors of his vault-ceiling hallway flew open and in came Crawford, still on his horse, its hooves clunking on the polished wood flooring. Adams laid down his weapons. It was over.

    "John Adams! Formerly known as the President of the United States in Congress Assembled!" Crawford shouted, pulling a paper out of his blue and gold coat. "I hearby do serve you your arrest warrant for high treason on the behalf of the sovereign people of New York and indeed the entire nation! Where is Alexander Hamilton?"

    Adams sighed. And then he pointed to Hamilton's hiding place one room over. Minutemen slapped chains on both of them shortly. They were then thrown in a carriage and whisked away to the Livingston Sugar House Prison. And that was how the last President of the United States was violently deposed.

    It came not too soon. Indeed, the nation was already splintering into secessionist movements. Andrew Jackson was in the midst of calling for the "Congress of the Carolinas" to decide upon the next course of action to become an independent nation. Radicals in Virginia had already tried to call for secession in 1800, and was also about to move to vote to leave the USA. In fact, in order to claim they did it first, Virginia made 1800 their official year of independence, but it was not proclaimed for good and in seriousness until May 28, 1801, ten days after the overthrow of the US government.

    Overwhelmingly, the individual counties of the Carolinas voted to leave the United States, forming the Confederation of the Carolinas, and the delegates from both states then elected Andrew Jackson as Emergency Chancellor. A democratic election would be held as soon as the new nation stabilized and was satisfied the USA would not try to resist them. The frontier territorial disputes between the two states were solved upon union, forming the State of West Carolina (also sometimes known as Tennessee or Centralia), which also joined the Confederation.


    Confederation of the Carolinas

    Georgia, now cut off in every way from the USA, also formed its own country, the Republic of Georgia. It was quite large, stretching from the Atlantic to the Mississippi. West Florida, which had been a haven for pro-American Louisianans, rebelled against Spain, and with Georgian assistance formed the West Florida Republic. It took up Georgia's entire coastline on the Gulf of Mexico, but Georgia and its traders were allowed to freely come and go into West Florida, making future Georgian annexation almost impossible to avoid. Georgia had considered joining the Confederation of the Carolinas and creating a slave-holding super-state "Southern Confederacy," but that issue was pushed to the back burner as the ongoing collapse of the USA was making large unions look pointless and weak.

    The new "government" of New York City decided they would hold off on a trial until the the country's messes could be sorted out. Hamilton, Adams, Tom Pinckney, Rufus King, and many others rotted in the Livingston Sugar House for several months, eating gut-wrenching gruel and moldy bread and drinking moldy water. However, when Rufus King was let out of the prison for a few minutes to get some air following a breathing attack, a mob rushed the guards, seriously injuring one, and ripped King limb from limb. The gruesome scene was quickly ended by another platoon of guards, but King was well and truly dead. Lynchings reached epidemic proportions. Federalists were seen as traitors to be killed immediately, even if most were innocent and were not aware of the ballot-stuffing plot. Hundreds fled to Canada, to seek refuge in Quebec City, joining many Royalist Americans who had fled there 20 to 30 years earlier.

    Finally, the trial was agreed to be held on July 4th. The Federalists in the Sugar House knew nothing good was going to come of it. The blue-coated New York constables came and escorted them out of the jail. Professional soldiers formed a wall around them, making sure no radicals tried to kill them all before the trial. However, many of the citizens seemed willing to let the trial go on as planned, just so they could see Alexander the Ungreat and Octavian Adams answer for their deeds.

    The trial was largely a joke. John Jay, the quite moderate judge in charge, tried to be fair, but he couldn't hold against the tide of revenge wanted by the Jeffersonians. The Democratic-Republicans sat in the boxes in the upper floor of the courthouse, cursing and blaspheming the Federalists' names. Ironically, Jefferson and Madison wanted the country to repair itself and exile the Federalists to South America or Europe, but their followers were out for blood.


    John Jay
    Adams was marched to Jay first, where he was told to explain himself. He stammered and stuttered something about "love of country" and "tried my best" and then, pointing at his Vice President, his voice rising to a falsetto Cockney-Bostonian screech, exclaimed, "Hang Hamilton! Not me! This was all his idea, the disgusting snake! He plotted it out at Fraunces Tavern in '96! He was the puppet-master, controlling and manipulating the party like some sort of evil wretch! Hang him, sir! I have only done what I been have been threatened or bullied into doing! I love this country! Hang Hamilton the Traitor!"

    The cries that arose from the Federalists' area were furious, and they countered that Adams had been complacent and even helped as much as he could in the scheme. Hamilton, by all accounts, just sort of sat there, his face in his hands, watching his carefully planned plot collapse around him. The jury immediately voted to execute Hamilton, and he was dragged out, his body like a rag-doll, to the front of the courthouse. A noose was draped from a branch, and Willard Crawford's drummers sounded the death beats. Hamilton looked at the crowd gathered around him. Then, slowly, he spoke: "I wish I had something to say that would redeem me in the eyes of all of you gathered here today. That you would think of me as a Patriot. That I would go down as a hero to all. But I can't. And I'm beyond caring. You people don't deserve me. You all can go straight to Hell, and take this sorry country with you!" As soon as the words were out, Crawford twirled his sword blade downward as the signal and Hamilton's neck was snapped instantly. He hanged there limply for a few minutes, and was then cut down and thrown in an unmarked ditch. His body was never found again.

    The other Federalist leaders joined him over the next few hours, each hanging on the same branch. Finally, Adams' turn was up. After speaking for ten minutes (Jay had allowed him twenty), the restless crowd stormed the courthouse and dragged Adams out. He was shrieking and screaming as tar and feathers were dumped on him, as fists hit him, and finally as a radical ran up and stabbed him in the stomach with a dagger. Bleeding profusely from the wound, the noose was tightened around his neck, and the 17th and last President of the United States in Congress Assembled was executed. John Jay and the guards and soldiers barely put up a show of resistance to the mob action, as they knew they might get called "Federalist sympathizers." And thus the 4th of July, Independence Day, became "Liberty Day." The United States was over. Believing now that their loyalties belonged to their state, Jefferson and Madison quickly departed to Virginia to try and restart their grand idea.
     
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    CHAPTER 4
  • CHAPTER 4:
    THE SHATTER OF 1801


    Flag representing the Republican Union between Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Connecticut, Delaware, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania

    As secessionist movements rocked North America and as Federalist bodies rotted in unmarked ditches in New York City, gatherings of local and regional leaders were underway and reshaping the future of the continent forever. Willard Crawford marched his "Army of Free Soldiers" south to Philadelphia to announce a new American constitutional convention on August 5, 1801. The New England states all bonded together in the face of outright anarchy sweeping their lands. Rhode Island briefly declared itself an independent country, flying a simple horizontal blue and white two-colored banner, but food and supply shortages were crippling it just a month in, and its dysfunctional benevolent military dictatorship was worried about a plot between local merchants to bring back British soldiers to restore order. Thus, they begged for Crawford to march the Free Soldiers to their small nation and reinstate order. The old state banner went up once more and the merchants who had arranged the plot to restore British rule fled to Canada on a tea ship.

    Crawford marched back to Philadelphia in time to reconvene the Convention and also in time to hear the depressing news that plans for Maryland to remain a part of the country had fallen apart. Maryland was suspicious of its neighbor Virginia for long-standing territorial disputes in the Ohio Country, but bore no real enmity toward the Republic Jefferson and Madison were creating. The Union hoped to keep Maryland in its fold because of its lucrative ports and businesses, but Samuel Chase (the recently elected Emergency President of the Free State of Maryland) had seen Crawford's invasion of Rhode Island as coercion (news of the merchant plot to restore the King had been lost in the chaos of the faltering USA). He had his delegation to Philadelphia turn back and on September 10, 1801, he proclaimed the Chesapeake Republic of Maryland in Baltimore. Maryland's well-trained minutemen and militias made their break clean and orderly, and the Kingdom of Naples and the Vatican States became the first to internationally recognize Maryland. France and Britain followed soon after.


    Flag of the Chesapeake Republic of Maryland


    Samuel Chase, First President of Maryland

    The New Republic of Virginia was quick to elect Thomas Jefferson and James Madison as President and Vice President respectively. The two men didn't agree on everything, but believed in freedom and had hope that an enlightened and libertine state could still rise from the bloody ashes of the United States. They set out to make sure Virginia was as strong as the "Northern Aggressors" in the "Republican Union," a new name for the old United States agreed upon by its eight remaining states attending Crawford's Constitutional Convention in Philadelphia on October 31, 1801. Thanks to Virginia's tremendous economy supported by slave labor and a relatively impressive amount of fairly unimposing but still useful naval vessels, it was the second largest economy in North America and was in a better debt situation than any of the others. Virginia also became the first of the seceded states to form a professional military. It was immediately used to try to chase out remaining natives from their lands and to monitor the north. The border with Maryland was extremely casual, and Maryland's Chase got along just splendidly with Jefferson. Virginia's military also formed an alliance with Maryland's militias, agreeing to come to each others' aid if need be. Virginia was home to several old US and British naval bases, and it rivaled the Republican Union in fleet strength.



    Virginia's House of Burgesses was resurrected, which fit in nicely with the aristocratic attitudes of the land-owning gentry, and was essentially a congress. The constitution they adopted in 1803 was largely the work of Jefferson and Madison, and allowed a very large amount of freedom and limited government power. Many citizens claimed it was "what the USA should have been from the beginning." France, Britain, and Prussia all recognized Virginia quite quickly, and stability was derived from the citizen's respect for Jefferson and Madison. It's flag was merely its seal on a white banner.

    The Confederation of the Carolinas was the first to truly become independent (not including Virginia's half-hearted secessionist movements it experienced in 1800), with Andrew Jackson, its eager military dictator, having caught wind Crawford's plot to overthrow the government in New York. In fact, Jackson was offered a role in the new government by Crawford, in an attempt to keep north and south together and to pressure Virginia and Maryland back into the fold, but Jackson had said, "It is better or north and south, for free and slave-holding, to part ways and restart this grand American adventure under their own terms." Surprisingly, Jackson's hypnotic control over his loyal soldiers did not stop him from peacefully having the Confederation adopt a very similar constitution to that of Virginias in 1805, after several years of military rule and quelling a slave uprising. He also broke the spirit of the remaining tribes in West Carolina, sending them fleeing into the Ohio Country where they were then vanquished by Virginian and Union forces. Native power east of the Mississippi was finally gone forever. And while there was a Constitution, Jackson was so wildly popular he was essentially doing whatever he wanted.

    The Carolinas adopted a unique flag bearing a blue cross over a red-above-white horizontal banner. In the upper corner was a crescent, an old symbol of the militias of the Revolutionary War, and in the center of the cross were three small white stars, symbolizing the union of North, South, and West Carolina around a central larger white star. A "noble heraldic vulture" was adopted as the country's official seal, with Jackson saying it symbolized the scavenging of the remnants of the former US states and how they would survive after its death. Also Jackson just really liked vultures and thought it would look sharp on a shako and a war drum; he wasn't wrong.




    Chancellor Andrew Jackson of the Confederation of the Carolinas

    The Green Mountain Republic of Vermont was formed after the Treason Trials. Even though it considered itself quite New English, it had had enough of the central government failing and it still bore animosity against everyone else over its Green Mountain Boys' treatment during the invasion of Louisiana. So it decided to form its own libertarian paradise up in the mountains, with an army of all volunteers and a fairly elected "Green Mountain People's Congress of Liberty" (no executive position was established, as the people worried it might become a dictatorship like some said of Crawford or Jackson). There were minimal taxes, minimal government expenditure, minimal laws, and almost total anarchy. Hill clans took maximum power for themselves and invented "land rights" as a means with which to extort their neighbors. If one large family lived in a valley, and another family decided to homestead there, the first large family could essentially tax the newcomers to live there. If the new family was of equal size to the "owners," family feuds broke out. If the new family was bigger than the "owners," then, in all likelihood, the "owners" would be murdered. The people soon lived in fear and terror of lawless neighboring clans murdering them, but at least they didn't have to pay taxes!


    Flag of the Green Mountain Republic of Vermont

    Making matters worse was Britain's consistent violation of Vermont's borders. Redcoats ventured in on routine "scavenging tours" in Green Mountain territory, and several illegal logging camps were set up by Canadian citizens. Finally, Vermont's militias mustered and drove out the loggers. King George thought briefly about outright invasion and recapturing of the former colony, but with the Napoleonic Wars unfolding in Europe and their coup attempt thwarted in Rhode Island, abandoned it, leading to the Vermont citizens thinking they had broken the morale of the British Empire and gave them an insane amount of national prestige, something that would persist from that point on. The neighbors down the road might kill them over a cow, but the British Empire knew better than to fuss with the Green Mountain Republic!

    On the Gulf Coast, the West Florida Republic was a puppet of the also-fresh faced Republic of Georgia and was much like Vermont in its outlook. It had been a part of Spain but was almost entirely white and American by 1800, and thus it threw off the Spanish yoke and proclaimed independence. Spain was quite busy in Europe and was forced to eat the loss. It was a libertarian wonderland controlled by local towns and villages that pushed the limits of freedom into "do as thou wilt" anarchy. Things got so bad in West Florida that they inadvertently gave birth to a North American icon: the Town Sheriff. Wyatt Masterson was a sheriff who fought off 20 bandits attempting to sack his village on the Gulf Coast. He became a hero, and Georgia, West Florida's puppet-master, started a huge system of sheriffs in its own country, which decreased crime by a large percentage. Aside from the occasional pirate attack, West Florida remained fairly safe as a nation, since Georgia deterred the Spanish from getting any bright ideas. It never elected a central leader, and instead opted for a National Parliament and town councils took care of absolute necessities. West Florida took up Georgia's entire Gulf coastline, but Georgians were allowed to come and go and trade as they pleased. Most everyone knew that one day soon, Georgia would annex West Florida, but until stability could be achieved in North America it was nominally independent.


    Flag of the West Florida Republic

    republicofgeorgia.png

    Flag of the Republic of Georgia, the red stripe symbolizing sacrifice, the white stripes purity, the blue the waters of its eastern and western borders, and the green the fertile plantations

    Like Virginia, the Republic of Georgia was run by aristocratic, land-owning, slave-owning, Southern gentry, and would have probably joined Virginia in a union if the Confederation of the Carolinas hadn't been in between. It's borders stretched from the coast of the Atlantic to the might Mississippi, the heart of cotton country. They weren't quite as radically republican as Virginia, but they were decent as far as adherents to that philosophy were concerned. The Republican Constitution was based on Maryland's model, but it had to make adjustments to make it work with their more aristocratic agriculture-based society. A standing national army was to be kept at all times to deter Spain or other enemies from trying anything, and those soldiers often patrolled West Florida, too. The Georgian Navy wasn't huge, but it did well enough to protect what they needed protected.

    Militarist Archibald Bulloch was elected Prime Minister. He was not known as a "bad" man or disrespected, but his militarism signaled a new political force in politics: Ultra-Right-Wing Expansionism supported by the citizens themselves. No cheating occurred. No bribery. No blackmail. The Republic had elected a militarist free and fairly. He believed in individual freedom, but he also believed in expansion and the destruction of neighbors. He was the one who made West Florida a satellite nation. His territorial politics brought him into conflict with Andrew Jackson as they both squabbled over who had rights to areas in West Carolina along the Mississippi River.

     
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    CHAPTER 5
  • CHAPTER 5
    THE MADNESS OF THE GEORGES


    "The Mad King" George IV


    Things had changed across the world since the Fall of the Old United States. Spain, in its war with Britain, had invaded Canadian territory, distracting King George and making him drop plans for possibly reclaiming any old American territories, and giving Napoleon's France a loophole to go on an absolute rampage in Europe.

    Napoleon had become the César de la France, the "Caesar of France," in 1804, restoring France to absolute monarchy, and George III finally cracked shortly thereafter. George, overwhelmed with the stress of (as he saw it) increasing losses of the Empire, collapsed in his palace, died, and was replaced with his son George IV. George IV was, unfortunately, completely and utterly bonkers. Not just crazy like his father, but absolutely stark raving, mouth-foaming mad. This was terrible for Britain's wartime morale and the overall leadership of the country. Britain's royal family became a joke internationally, with its own allies mocking it. The Bonaparte family, meanwhile, was doing just fine. Even Prussia came to respect Napoleon more than they did any English royal, even if they hated his Corsican guts for his never-ending territorial ambition.​

    Napoleon constructed embassies in all the North American countries except West Florida and Vermont. Virginia and Maryland were quite friendly, but it was Georgia that fell in love with the French emperor. The tightening relationship between the two countries improved Georgia's relationship with Spain, since the Spanish were an ally of France. Georgia began to realize that by playing its cards right and by joining Napoleon's alliance, if even unofficially, it could possibly become the dominant independent country in North America. Prime Minister Bulloch thought that sounded great. In the few years since the destruction of the US, the various new countries had started to disdain each other far more, and if he could stick it to "the Northern buzzards" (which now included the Confederation of the Carolinas and Virginia to a lesser extent since further territorial disputes had unfolded in 1802), then it would be a great day in his book. So, in 1806, Georgia began patterning itself after France. French-style uniforms, French music, French food, French everything. It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship that suited Georgia's right-wing militarists just fine.

    Meanwhile, in the Republican Union, a new form of government took power: the Consulate, which patterned itself somewhat after Napoleon's France (before he had been crowned Caesar, of course). Instead of just three consuls, like in France, however, there were two for each state elected every four years (titled Consuls of the Republic). There was no president, but two consuls each year were elected as Chief Consuls of the Republic. State or Territorial Consuls (one per state) fulfilled the role of governors. At the capital city, the Republican Consuls would meet and discuss national policy in fair and open debates, debates which often turned ugly or hostile. Willard Crawford had made it clear he would not be a dictator and was surprisingly happy to give up his emergency powers and his Philadelphia Constitutional Convention had been a nominal success, even if the grueling "convention" in Philadelphia lasted three whole years. Three years of the economy being in shambles and the military being non-existent, leaving only the Army of Free Soldiers to keep the nation from anarchy. Democratic-Republicans insisted that freedom be absolutely guaranteed by the government and pushed for the abolition of slavery in all the states of the Republican Union. The new party, the Centrist Party, largely made up of politicians from the smaller or less-populous states, demanded a moderate, populist government. They also pushed for a large army to be raised to defend the country from Britain, Spain, and its southern neighbors.

    The long-lasting raging hatred that the North would eventually have for the South was not quite in full swing. The Southerners disdained the north and blamed the horrific failure of the United States on them. The North was more concerned in its own problems and was content for the moment to push their "hillbilly cousins" onto the back burner for now. Slavery was a rather touchy subject, though, and any suggestions by consuls for closer relationships with the "Southron" republics were usually shot down by fire-and-brimstone New England abolitionists (or those pretending abolitionists to score political points). Many present historians now claim that without slavery-or if the North had had many themselves-the USA might have recovered after the Treason Trials, but the increasingly foreign cultures developing between the former British colonies was largely unavoidable, and it was a miracle they hadn't had a seaboard-spanning civil war under the shaky Articles of Confederation. Given a few decades at most, and the USA would have likely sank into some sort of civil war. The withdrawal of the South had come at just the right time to avoid entering that likely self-destructive conflict.

    Back in the North, there were some Union citizens, though, that began thinking of the Southern republics as "rightful Union land." The captain of this philosophical ship was Aaron Burr, the middle-aged Consul of New York. He served with Willard Crawford as the first two Chief Consuls, and during that time made his revanchist feelings known. While military force was not taken seriously at this point to force the Southerners back under the North's wing, Burr's way of thinking set the stage for further problems.


    Aaron Burr

    List of Consuls of the Republic (1801-1805):

      • Willard Crawford - New Hampshire
      • William Whipple - New Hampshire
      • Aaron Burr - New York
      • George Clinton - New York
      • George Clymer - Pennsylvania
      • William Jackson - Pennsylvania
      • Joseph Bloomfield - New Jersey
      • William Livingstone - New Jersey
      • Gunning Bedford, Jr. - Delaware
      • Richard Basset - Delaware
      • John Samuel Peters - Connecticut
      • Oliver Wolcott, Jr. - Connecticut
      • James Fenner - Rhode Island
      • Nehemiah Knight - Rhode Island
    The year 1807 was an utter disaster for Britain's efforts against Napoleon. King George IV had become so hopelessly insane that he was frequently beaten into unconsciousness by palace guards for his own safety. He cooked an entire cat alive in the royal stove after chasing out the chefs and maids from the kitchen. It was an expensive breed belonging to his brother Frederick. It was also William's favorite palace pet. This did not bode well with Fred or Wills. From that point on, they both went into attack mode, constantly begging the government for permission to rip away their crazed brother's crown.

    This, of course, did not bode well with Georgy. Not at all. He went into a deep, dark depression, where he locked himself in his room for hours, weeping bitterly and talking to imaginary friends. When servants would unlock the door, he'd beat them off with a fireplace poker and scream seemingly random verses from the Bible. He finally lost every trace of sanity on December 21, 1807. The madness was about to consume Britain.

    It started like every other terrible day in wartime London, and George had locked himself away again. The servants were told to ignore him, for something big was supposed to happen later in the afternoon. That big thing was Frederick was to become Regent. Stability would be returned. The Corsican Ogre would be beaten back and his empire would be destroyed. The Americans would be kept in check. "The British Empire will return to glory and march onward to future triumphs, the likes of which the world has never seen," said William.

    On that day, at 10 AM, ten palace guards, a group of servants, Frederick, and William marched to George's room to evict him and put him in a "safe room," much like the one that had held his father during his manic final days. When they opened the door and delivered the news, George was uncommonly quiet and at peace. He said there would be "no need for a guarded escort."

    Frederick smiled sadly and asked, "You'll cooperate, then? That is most admirable of you, my brother. Father would be proud of you. This is not something we wish to have happened, but it's necessary for the Empire. We know you do your best but we need a firm hand to deal with those frogs, eh? We love you, George."

    To which George responded: "No. There will be no need for an escort, because it ends now." Everyone's smiles vanished instantly. "This is my castle! My donjon! My château! My citadel of Merlin! And you shall not take it from me, damn you! You're all going to die for plotting against your God-given monarch!" What followed was one of the most gruesome setbacks in English history. George pulled out two flintlock pistols from his large red coat. He then shot Frederick directly in the chest, killing him almost instantly. He fired the other and struck William in the side as William attempted to catch Frederick as he fell, sending blood spurting everywhere and both princes crashing backward over a coffee table. George then pulled a decorative sword off the wall of the room, raised it to his own neck, and then slit his own throat. The blade almost severed his head as he fell forward. He let out a few final gurgles and breathed his last.


    The guards and servants stood in horror at the bloodbath for a few seconds, in a state of shock, before going to work trying to revive Frederick. It was no use. He was as dead as George, and the prince's body lay in a pool of his own blood. William, meanwhile, was put on a stretcher and raced to another room where a veritable army of doctors raced to remove the bullet from his lower ribcage. He was losing a lot of blood, and for several hours the entire palace stood on edge, waiting to see if three rightful monarchs would die in one day. Fortunately, William stabilized and survived. The British propaganda industry had its work cut out for itself. There was simply no way of getting around what had happened. George IV, King of Great Britain, had murdered one of his own brothers and gravely wounded the other before taking his own life. What was there to lie about? What was there to fictionalize for the sake of national morale? The answer was nothing at all.


    Portrait of King George IV done shortly before his suicide

    Britain's stock market crumbled and the nation was rocked by a devastating combination of mourning and economic depression. As if that wasn't bad enough, Russia and France signed a formal alliance against Great Britain and launched a worldwide propaganda campaign ridiculing the English aristocracy with zingers like "King George was ill-bred and he was touched in the head. King George filled his brothers with lead, before he cut off his own head. His head! His head! His head!" This rhyme grew so popular that the French Grand Army sang it to the tun of "Marlbrough s'en va-t-en guerre." It later became even more widespread among the Russians, who sang it to various folk tunes. It eventually made its way to North America, where the southern countries adapted it to the tune of We are a Band of Brothers.


    This is widely considered the turning point in the Napoleonic Wars that sealed France's fate as a world power.
     
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    CHAPTER 6
  • CHAPTER 6
    Ruler of All He Surveys

    "Power is my Mistress."
    -Caesar Napoleon I

    Caesar Napoleon I was having a delightful time in 1808 and 1809. With Britain in self-inflicted tatters, and his own cult of personality growing daily, nothing seemed to dampen his plans. It was as if the Gods of Ancient Rome had descended and handed him the fate of Europe, like something from an old legend. With its main ally Britain on ice and dealing with the disgrace of the monarchy, Portugal knelt to the Imperial Throne of France under force of arms, a huge defeat for those resisting the Continental System and also a main source of Britain's ongoing economic collapse. The Portuguese Confederation was formed. The Corsican's growing empire was becoming a colossus, brow-beating neighbors such as Prussia into submission with the threat of brute force, also known as the Grand Army. Austria was crushed at the Battle of Wagram in the summer of 1809, and the Continental System was imposed on the former Holy Roman Empire. In the fall, Austria was finally defeated and a treaty was signed at Schönbrunn Palace, in Vienna. In order to understand the expansion of the French Empire during this period, and the later events in the centuries following, we must look at, in more depth, the powers Napoleon wielded at this point.

    The%20Continental%20System%201806-1810%20copy.jpg

    On the 21st of November, 1806, Napoleon signed the Berlin Decree in response to the British Royal Navy blockading his coast. While at first the strategy did not seem to be working, it really kicked in during the following year, after the George IV Regicide-Suicide. The other countries started to regard Britain as something of a stale old joke that was quickly ceasing to amuse. Stories, sometimes utterly false, were released by France's propaganda industry that told of the drunken debauchery of the British nobility. Still others claimed King William was illegitimate, or perhaps a homosexual, or even both! Catholic Austria, France's main rival, had never had a good relationship with the British Isles, going back several hundred years. They, too, now looked upon the British government as incapable. The British Royal Navy still ruled the Atlantic, but the Mediterranean was nothing short of a French pond. Royal Navy sloops and some other smaller ships patrolled North Africa to some degree, but it was only a token force protecting land the French Emperor was not interested in (at the moment).

    In 1808, British citizens' own growing reluctance to rally around their throne hugely aided the Continental System. Some historians say that the entire collapse of the British economy was caused by these seeds of doubt in their goverment, with Napoleon jumping to take credit. Russia, a reluctant friend of France, was satisfied that Britain was falling, and thus strengthened their alliance to bring about the "Final Defeat of the Lobsterbacks."

    While Britain was still singing the praises of its own Indian cotton, Georgia doubled production in North America. It was protected from Britain by being locked in an area with allied European and neutral American regions. The sale of Napoleon-approved Georgian cotton to Europe was a devastating blow to Britain during a time when it needed more cash to continue the war effort.

    This, however, led to another problem. The Confederation of the Carolinas, still under Andrew Jackson's benevolent fist, asked to be a trading partner with France, with cotton and tobacco as the major products. Carolina was the largest non-British tobacco provider in the world, and Europeans were willing to pay Carolina's prices rather than smuggle in British tobacco. In fact, Jackson was asked by Napoleon to deliberately lower his tobacco prices to undercut Britain, even if only for a while, with promises of losses being paid in full by France at a later date, upon the ruination of Britain. What was the problem then?


    Carolinian ships being boarded by the Royal Navy

    Britain did not like the "colonists" hacking into their payday. King William finally had had enough and ordered the Royal Navy to start confiscating American goods. In late 1808, one Georgian and two Virginian trade ships loaded from stem to stern with supplies were sunk by the Brits after attempting to run a blockade off northern Spain. In the first show of collective support since before the Treason Trials, the American countries, with the exception of the Republican Union, pulled together to issue a unanimous declaration of war against Britain for violating their "wartime neutrality." Though the Union refused to go to war for fear of Canada invading (as well as the general dislike of the Southrons), it agreed to build ships for Napoleon's American allies in its New England shipyards. The Union struggled along economically while the South prepared to set up a "new era of industry" for itself. This is a pivotal moment in the North-South rivalry that would continue for generations.

    The exact date of Britain's total economic ruin cannot be pinpointed, but it certainly began around the time of the Berlin Decree, and was close to the end by the time William took the throne. The Napoleonic Wars were not over, and neither was Britain, but the Pound might as well have been minted out of feces by 1810.




    Never, since the days of the Roman Empire, had such a massive, energized, multi-ethnic army won so many victories. Napoleon's personal obsession with all things military led him to christen his forces the Grand Army in 1805. A Roman-style eagle became the symbol which men from over a dozen different major countries and regions would carry to "Glory Eternal" on the battlefields of Europe. Prussians, Russians, Bavarians, Austrians, Americans, Saxons, and even some English were all common sights in the ranks during the height of French power. The Grand Army brought utter destruction to all who opposed it, from Austria to Prussia. Any time a French "ally" got ideas to violate agreements or go to war again, it was the fighting men of the Grand Army that went in to put them down like dogs.

    This tactic, though, was not wildly popular with the citizens of other nations. Rebellions were common, such as those in Prussia in 1809. These revolts were to be crushed on the Emperor's order by the home country. If they failed, the Grand Army would invade. One means the genius Corsican came up with to keep the populace in check was to conscript or hire as many foreigners as possible, for, as he put it, "A man is much less likely to raise arms against an occupying force when his own brothers and fathers wear the occupiers' uniforms and carry their Imperial Eagles." After a while, sometimes those brothers and fathers even started to like wearing them.


    Needless to say, essentially all of Europe was allied to or conquered by Napoleon at this point. 1810 was what the Emperor declared "A new dawn. The beginning of an era of peace." Peace after "Britain's total destruction," that is.

    Empire of France (areas bowing directly to the French throne):
    • Duchy of Warsaw
    • Kingdom of Italy
    • Kingdom of Holland
    • Kingdom of Etruria
    • Principality of Lucca and Piombino
    • Kingdom of Naples
    • Swiss Confederation
    • Confederation of the Rhine
    • Portuguese Confederation
    French Allies:
    • Spain
    • Kingdom of Denmark
    • Kingdom of Sweden
    • Chesapeake Republic of Maryland
    • Ottoman Empire
    • Austrian Empire
    • Republic of Virginia
    • Empire of Russia
    • Confederation of the Carolinas
    • Kingdom of Prussia
    • Qajar Persia
    • West Florida Republic
    • Republic of Georgia
    Trade Partners:
    • The Republican Union
    • Green Mountain Republic of Vermont
     
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    CHAPTER 7
  • CHAPTER 7
    "God must be--no, God is--a Frenchman."
    -Marshal Louis-Gabriel Suchet


    Spain, thanks to the prolonged effort against Britain, was desperately clinging to its colonies by 1810, trying to suck every bit of cash out of them it could. Finally, as per Napoleon's suggestion, they sold Florida to Georgia (which finally eased any tension on the borders between Florida, Georgia, and West Florida) for eight million Georgian Pounds plus a good amount of cotton, ammunition, firearms, and boots. It was a fair deal, but Spain needed more money to carry on. Thus, it began talks with France for the sale of the (already formerly French) Louisiana Territory.

    This scared the living daylights out of the American countries, especially the Republican Union. Those countries might have been fine with Napoleon raising Hell in Europe, but the thought of Napoleon the Great in their own backyards was enough to cause insomnia. When France acquired Louisiana for 7,000,000 Francs, the Republican Union immediately raised an army and sent it to the Mississippi River to make sure Napoleon didn't get any big ideas about invading.

    Napoleon, though, was not actually interested in invading the American republics. In fact, he liked most of them and saw no need to invade them whatsoever. Disunited, they weren't a threat. No, instead, he was eying British Canada, the ultimate prize over which the Seven Years' War was bloodily fought so many decades before. If he could take that back and end the humiliation which led ultimately led to the French Revolution, he would be a great leader indeed. He immediately drew up plans for a Kingdom of Quebec ruled by one of his officers or siblings, and the rest would likely become part of the French Empire proper. It was an impressive plan, but still would be extremely tough, if not outright impossible, to pull off with the Royal Navy causing problems.

    That, concluded Napoleon, was the moment his greatest brainchild was born. He suddenly realized that if he announced a total partition of the faltering British Empire, from India to Jamaica, other countries would likely love to get in on the profitable venture regardless of how much they hated his guts. Napoleon was top dog in the European neighborhood, and Britain was now the scrawny, malnourished whelp getting the snot beaten out of it on the regular. It was always better to be on the top dog's side than the scrawny whelp's regardless if the scrawny whelp was formerly your best friend.

    So, Russia was told that if the Imperial Russian Fleet helped rip through the Royal Navy, it would get to keep not only Alaska and the surrounding area, but would have part of the North American west coast blocked off for its exclusive ownership. The Czar, Alexander, without having any idea what the offered territory was like, thought this was great, of course, and an English historian later claimed that "Alexander was willing to sell his soul to the devil for a bit of beachfront property in Eskimoland." He was also plied with very lucrative trade deals which helped soften the blow when he realized later most of the land in America was useless.

    When the offer was sent to King Friedrich Wilhelm III promising African and South American territory in exchange for providing infantry and supplies for the invasion of Canada, the Prussian monarch reluctantly accepted, mostly because the French Imperial Army had several of its German regiments in his capital to enforce the Continental System and depose him if he tried anything.



    King Friedrich Wilhelm III


    Prussian troops serving under Napoleon circa 1810
    Similar requests were sent to all the major countries in France's sphere. As for minor countries; they either were of no real possible use or would just follow along out of fear without actually even being promised anything as reward.

    Thus, the plans for the Canadian Invasion were completed by early 1811. In the spring of 1812, the fleets were to do battle with the Royal Navy in a sea battle for the ages.

    Or at least, that was what was supposed to happen.


    King William IV

    British spies knew had found out about the Canadian Plot as early as just several weeks after the proposal was sent to Czar Alexander. William had to do something. Anything. He would not allow Britain to lose Canada.

    Wills raised a massive army, pushing the Royal economy even deeper into the darkest pits of the metaphorical outhouse. Thousands of men were shipped to Canada. Thousands of men in Canada itself were formed into militias. William had no way of paying for all this, so he had to believe he would win and keep Canada, and then use the momentum to possibly raid the French coast and perhaps invade Denmark or Greece or some other such place, and then slowly strike back against the Empire. If he did that, chances were Austria would side with him again, and then Prussia. With any luck, Austria, Prussia, Sweden, and perhaps one or two other former allies would return to his side and defeat the Franco-Spanish-Russian menace in a possible War of the Sixth Coalition.

    The truth is that it probably would have happened. Invading Canada would be like invading Russia. The freezing temperatures, vast open plains, rugged mountains, and relatively low population made it desirable in the past for sake of furs and colonial bragging rights, but it was not a good target for Napoleon. Russia would probably "claim" western Canada anyway, and Britain would likely do nothing in response. It was vast emptiness.

    Up-and-coming Arthur Wellesley, thought the plan smelled of "French froggery," and was the only one to voice this opinion to the King, but William was too panicked to listen. The stress was starting to get to him, and he was showing signs of mental illness just like the two Georges before him. He became obsessive over protecting Canada, and it was the biggest mistake he ever made.

     
    CHAPTER 8
  • CHAPTER 8
    THE WAR OF 1812 BEGINS


    "Men of France, today we stand on the cusp of total victory! Centuries from now, your grandchildren will say of you that never since the days of Rome, the Millennium Empire, had the world seen such resplendent glory. Glory, gentlemen of France! Glory for you! Glory for me! Glory for France! And Glory Eternal to Caesar and to the Eternal Empire! Gloire à César! Vive César Napoléon!"
    -Marshal Ney

    Napoleon Bonaparte had declared that this so-called War of 1812 would be the climax of his conquering career. This would be the true beginning of the Pax Napoleonica, an era of peace and stability he had promised in 1810. Everything begun at that riot a young artillery officer had quelled so many years before and all the deaths and lives ruined and all the blood and coin spent since would finally--supposedly--pay off. The annihilation of France's immortal foe, Jolly John Bull and his Cockney Cohorts, was supposedly at hand. Hostilities with England had never ceased, so some historians refer to this struggle as the Campaign of 1812. But this campaign rocked the entire world to its core and is considered the most important turning point in world, and especially American, history.

    Britain, at this stage of the game, was completely and utterly bankrupt and an international pariah. It was running on fumes, and all of Europe knew it. Hardly any European power felt any remorse seeing the broken-down English Royal Family losing power. Spain was particularly smug, satisfied revenge was coming for the Armada's Destruction centuries before. Really, the English had repeatedly spat in the eyes of most of Napoleon's rivals in years past. Now, it was coming back to haunt them. Napoleon had long been regarded as a "whelp" and "impish boy-emperor," but the truth was that was how England had been viewed when it truly started flexing its muscles a century prior, facing down ancient regimes such as the Spanish Empire.

    But Britain still had a large army. It was a blessing and a curse, as Britain's army was so large by this point that many soldiers were buying their own food and wearing homemade uniforms. The various territories and colonies under the British Crown were extremely far-flung, ranging from fairly safe locales such as Southern India to wildly volatile places like Jamaica and the Bahamas, which were barely fighting off repeated Franco-Georgian attacks. The need for manpower was huge. Britain came out with several improved ways of making cloth and ammunition (both of which were immediately stolen by her enemies), and also started using women and children in factories. Everyone was bracing itself for the "Invasion of Canada."

    The deployment of so many troops to Canada, and the cost to equip them, was exactly what Napoleon had engineered the entire time, playing the greatest mind game in his life. The coast of England was still well fortified, of course, as William would never let his guard down so close to his own keep, but Ireland was drastically exposed. In fact, a good percentage of the troops shipped to Canada were shipped from the Emerald Isle. To top it off, Denmark, allied with France, had Iceland, which was a great place to hide French and her allies' ships on the backside of Britain. Indeed, Napoleon was planning his greatest offensive ever, but it was not upon Ireland, but upon Great Britain itself.

    The combined Franco-Spanish-Russian Armada was to challenge the Royal Navy to do battle. Napoleon's master plan would not work unless William's ships were defeated then and there. Everything hinged upon this. The Armada would then barrage the English coast and feign an assault, with troops in smaller landing boats arriving to launch a diversionary attack on Truro, Cornwall. Meanwhile, a small fleet from Iceland would attack Scotland's coast, confusing the British even more as to where to expect the main landing. Had they been tricked, and a bizarre invasion was coming from Scotland? Or was that a diversion, with the Frogs in the English Channel being the real threat? The answer was neither: a huge Imperial pan-European invasion army would land at Cork, Waterford, and areas south of Dublin. The simmering Irish revolutionaries would take up arms once more and assist in the total takeover of Ireland. Joseph Bonaparte would take power as the puppet King of Ireland, answering directly to his brother the French Emperor. If necessary, assaults would be launched into Scotland across the Irish Sea. By that point, Wales, which had long had a pro-French underground movement, would be promised independence if it seceded. After all that, England would be forced to accept Napoleon's terms. No fantastic invasion of "the White Cliffs of Dover," with thousands of French soldiers scaling up on grapples and bludgeoning their way through England would be necessary. It would be a final, brutal extermination of Britain's power simply, and Napoleon bet everything on it succeeding to plan.

    On May 1, 1812, the Armada joined up and challenged the Royal Navy, under Nelson's successor Admiral Cuthbert Collingwood, 1st Baron Collingwood. It was another seemingly pro-French "Act of God" that the British had just suffered a terrible storm three days prior which had damaged many vessels. Suchet's words about "God being French" rang true once more, claimed the Empire. Over the next grueling two and a half days of battle, dozens if not hundreds of ships sank to the bottom of the ocean in what one historian labeled "Armageddon on the Atlantic." It was the final test of British strength.
    Early in the morning of May 3, Collingwood stood on the deck of his flagship the HMS Morpeth surveying the enemy's movements. A Russian frigate, the Nevsky, appeared suddenly alongside the Morpeth, its approach having been hidden by morning mist and battle smoke from guns and the many burning ships. The Russians opened fire with canister shot, obliterating many of the sailors and officers on deck like sitting ducks, followed by chain shot, destroying the main boom of the Morpeth. The large log fell directly on Collingwood, breaking his spine (paralyzing him) and removing him from the battle. The Russians kept the barrage up for an hour, sustaining much damage themselves. However, finally a solid barrage hit the powder storage of the British ship, sinking it. Collingwood was accepted as a prisoner as his officers brought him over to the Nevsky in a lifeboat. With cheers of "Ooh-rah! Ooh-rah!" the Russian sailors on deck of the Nevsky waved their fists in the air as the Royal Navy's flagship sank below the waves, fiery bits of sail, wood, and corpses floating on the red-stained water of the English Channel.


    The Sinking of the HMS Morpeth

    Collingwood had had a good chance at winning despite the storm damage received before the battle, but with him gone--and news that King William had supposedly collapsed in London following a mental fit--the morale of the Royal Navy was destroyed. At noon, some two hours after the Morpeth was destroyed, Commander Hickory Godfrey Hoover surrendered, having witnessed the annihilation of most of his fleet. It was a bloody, hard-won victory, and the French, Russians, and the other allies had suffered huge losses. Russia had lost half their ships. The entire fleet from Italy was sleeping with the fishes. But as soon as the British survivors--including Collingwood--were escorted back to France and word sent to Paris, the Armada continued on to barrage the English Coast and send fire ships (captured English vessels beyond repair) up the Thames. They might not have a triumphal assault on Buckingham Palace, but they were going to make sure they psychologically traumatized the entire English population. They would know fear. They would see the wrath of Caesar, who had they had so long opposed, come floating straight into their capital city.

    At that point, a small fleet of Dutch ships landed at Truro, Cornwall, and set up shop. The bizarre landing made the British believe this strange assault was going to try to break Cornwall away and set it up as a puppet state. The British soldiers at Cornwall were led by incompetent General Wilbur Whiteham. He so bungled the counter-assault on the city that French Marshal Laurent de Gouvion Saint-Cyr, 1st Marquis of Gouvion-Saint-Cyr, said that "God has put a hex on England this day. What damage storms have done to the English cause, their own incompetence has done more." Saint-Cyr actually requested allowance to press the assault inland, to take all of Cornwall, because he had the British forces routing, their morale broken. Instead, he was instructed to await reinforcements as Napoleon feared a general mustering of the British population if the attack went any further.


    The pathetic British naval defenses of Truro are destroyed by Saint-Cyr's ships

    Up to the north, an uncoordinated battle was being fought by shocked and unprepared Scottish sailors against the small Franco-Danish fleet that had arrived from Iceland. Neither side knew for sure what had happened on the Channel yet, and they especially had no idea the British Navy had been defeated. Instead the Allied ships simply trusted they had defeated the Royal Navy and pressed the attack according to schedule. The French and Danes were defeated, but the Scots thoroughly shaken. They immediately called up forces from deeper inside Scotland, which infuriated the British Command when they needed troops to send down to Truro and London. The French laughed gleefully at their enemies hysterical amount of bad luck and poor decisions as the real invasion army hit Cork and Crosshaven. Then they stopped laughing. The bloodbath had begun.


    British troops engage Allied troops in Ballycotton

    There were not as many British troops in Ireland as there should have been, since so many were in Canada, but the fighting was still very intense. Ballycotton and Ardmore were absolute bloodbaths, with thousands dead and wounded. It was the bloodiest fighting of the entire Napoleonic Era. General Arthur Wellesley, a native Irishman, was in command of the Army of Ireland, and he was determined to hold the line. Royal ships at Rosslare Harbor, on the south-eastern corner of Ireland, put up a good fight but were sunk by the French, Spanish, and Russians.


    General Arthur Wellesley

    The Irish Sea became a huge battlefield. Several marshals, generals, and admirals tried to coordinate the massive assault from a select number of ships. It was almost impossible. Meanwhile, Catholic priests were assembling their congregations in France, praying for "God Almighty to smite the British devils." Napoleon himself was up for days at a time, drinking heavily just to get through sleepless nights and bloodshot days at the planning tables.

    Wellesley finally fell back to Killarney with his officer staff and his personal regiments. The rest he spread out, attempting to create an impenetrable wall "from Kenmare to Wicklow." This worked for the time being, but revolutionary Irish militias were forming in Derry, Donegal, Monaghan, and multiple other locations behind his lines. The Allies were trying to strike rapidly, and when Marshal Ney arrived to take command on land, he made an immediate thrust at Clonmel with several thousand Imperial troops, including some Russian horse regiments that utterly terrified the British. With the hero Ney at the command, morale soared and the Allies pressed the attack.

    In late May, just three weeks after the decisive Battle of the Channel, William realized the entire plan all along had been to invade Ireland. They tried to recall some Canadian troops, but it was too late, and several regiments were sunk by an allied American fleet around Nova Scotia. Wellesley had been forced to start fighting on both his front and rear, against the French and Irish respectively. He forced his way into Limerick to set up a new headquarters. London instructed him to make his stand there while Scottish General Thomas Graham tried to fight his way in from Scotland and take Derry from the rebels. Captured Irish fighters faced no mercy and were executed as traitors on the spot by the British Army.


    General Thomas Graham, the highest-ranking officer in the Scottish Army

    Despite huge losses, the Allied army was still confident of a decisive breakthrough. Private Jean-Paul Christophe Nicolas Napoleon Sarkozy, in an example of the spirit of the time, wrote in his diary (on a page dated June 18th, 1812) that, "Victory is so close I can almost taste it. All the other men in my regiment say the same. They say Marshal Ney is preparing to take Thurles and Newcastle West, and if he does that, Wellesley will be trapped like the rat he is."

    The French, under the daring and dashing but trigger-happy Ney, were defeated and pushed back on June 25, after Ney attempted such a breakthrough. Thomas Graham was not given enough men to use the momentum to take Derry, however, as London insisted on fortifying the national capital and plugging up the Cornwall Front before Saint-Cyr invaded Wales, which was beginning to show a desire for independence as people realized Britain simply couldn't keep up their defensive war forever.

    King William was in the pits of a health crisis, and no one was left to inspire the public to fight on. Defeat started seeming inevitable, until an anonymous songwriter created a tune that raised morale throughout the country and became a battlefield anthem for the Redcoats.

    I give you a toast, ladies and gentlemen.
    I give you a toast, ladies and gentlemen.
    May this fair dear land we love so well
    In dignity and freedom dwell.

    Though worlds may change and go awry
    While there is still one voice to cry

    There'll always be an England
    While there's a country lane,
    Wherever there's a cottage small
    Beside a field of grain.
    There'll always be an England
    While there's a busy street,
    Wherever there's a turning wheel,
    A million marching feet.

    Red, white and blue; what does it mean to you?
    Surely you're proud, shout it aloud,
    "Britons, awake!"
    The Scots too, we can depend on you.
    Freedom remains. These are the chains
    No Frog King can break.

    There'll always be an England,
    And England shall be free
    If England means as much to you
    As England means to me.

    Wellesley handed Ney a dual defeat at the Battles of Cashel and Callan. After that, though, he had no choice but to abandon Limerick and head toward Derry to join Graham on a siege of that rebellious city.

    Napoleon was, however, quite pleased. Everything was going more or less to plan. The Allies might have been losing battles, but they were winning the war. He still had enough troops to keep his mainland European territory in check. He also did not really worry about other Europeans attacking since Britain and her formerly seemingly endless coffers couldn't offer support for any more coalitions to overthrow the French Empire.

    The thing the emperor did not realize, though, was that British people were among the most stubborn on earth. The French Empire was about to enter a war against the corner newspaper boy and local miller. A resistance movement of sorts had already cropped up among loyalists in southern Ireland, and There Will Always be an England was being sung in the streets of England and Canada. If the British were chased into Scotland, a total war of attrition would be waged. It was about to get really ugly, and a number of future developments would end up having large and quite unforeseen, even unimaginable, consequences in the years to come.
     
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    CHAPTER 9
  • CHAPTER 9:
    War of 1812 - Caribbean Theatre
    British command in the Caribbean following the destruction of the Royal Navy fell to General Edward Michael Pakenham, who had decided to hold up in the Bahamas to fend off repeated French-funded Georgian expeditions launched from Florida to capture the islands. He barely held the line in late 1812 when a force under General Arthur Alexander assaulted Nassau by sea. Grudgingly, Alexander turned back to regroup his forces after a failed beach landing. Thomas Bragg, father of the later famous Braxton Bragg, marched a large Carolinian army down the coast to board the Confederation's new transport ships. The Carolinian Navy was fairly small at this point in time, but Andrew Jackson was sinking millions of dollars into new ships. Jackson especially wanted in on this destruction of British power because of a traumatic childhood experience with British soldiers during the Revolutionary War. Old Hickory was coming for his revenge.


    British Caribbean Commander Edward Pakenham


    Georgian General Arthur Alexander

    On the day before Christmas, the Southron forces landed and finally chased Pakenham out of the Bahamas. The British commander and his staff escaped with a small force by sea. A small Spanish fleet gave chase off the coast of Cuba, forcing Pakenham to flee to Jamaica, the last real British stronghold in the Caribbean. Georgia and the Confederation of the Carolinas left a sizable force to occupy the Bahamas and then sailed down with a few Spanish and French ships to lay siege to the island. Abruptly, facing starvation and defeat, Pakenham's rowdy militiamen turned on him and his few actual remaining English soldiers and handed them over to Alexander. In the face of the mother country's invasion in Europe, the British forces felt forgotten about and simply refused to fight on anymore.

    Intensive talks ensued about the island's future, and the new "leader" of Jamaica, Henry Boniface, pleaded for independence and allegiance in return for not having an occupying force ravage the former Redcoat colony. Boniface was one of the local pro-British militia commanders who had forced Pakenham to finally throw up the white flag. Boniface was a realist who wanted to see Jamaica strong and safe, but Andrew Jackson stubbornly refused, claiming that Jamaica should be the Carolinas' reward from for undercutting Britain's cotton and tobacco prices before. Georgia squawked over it and negotiations went back and forth. Finally, Napoleon stepped in and said he would grant their independence as a satellite of both Georgia and the Carolinas. Boniface became Prime Minister of the Republic of Jamaica. A new country was born.


    Flag of Jamaica



    Prime Minister Henry George Boniface of Jamaica

    With the Allies clear of having to occupy Jamaica and with the Bahamas in hand, they were free to declare open season on the rest of the British colonies in the New World. France and Spain had pressing matters in Europe to attend to, so it left Georgia and company to pick from the island buffet.

    Andrew Jackson immediately annexed Saint Kitts and Nevis, Barbados, the Virgin Islands, and Antigua and Barbuda. Georgia, still under the fiery 82 year-old Prime Minister Bulloch, resented this and sent Arthur Alexander to snatch up Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, as well as Grenada and the Cayman Islands. They then disputed Saint Lucia with Jackson, but finally let the Carolinas have it in exchange for some new trade rights. Spain at first did not like this, but let it go as they hurried and retook Trinidad and Tobago before "Andy the Island Emperor" could sink his expansionist Southron jaws into it.

    Napoleon, at this point in time, finally agreed to follow through on his promise to reward Jackson for his compliance with the undercutting of Britain's prices, and arranged for France and Holland to pull out of the Leeward and Windward Islands, forming the Carolinian Virgin Islands. The Dutch and French citizens on the island cluster weren't wild about this, so Jackson granted them an appearance of independence as the Virgin Islands Confederacy, while they essentially became his personal property and he appointed Thomas Bragg as Governor-General.​


    Thomas Bragg, Governor-General of the Virgin Islands Confederacy

    Upon Jackson implementing the bizarre form of self-government in the Virgin Islands, the Confederation of the Carolinas' Congress flew into a constitutional crisis. They managed to agree to the private dictatorship for the moment after several emergency meetings, but they were kicking the can down the road for further (much larger) problems. Jackson was a wild character and he had him a thirst for more power than he would readily admit.

    Virginia got in on the game late, but now-President Madison suddenly offered a very large sum of cash and cotton and tobacco to Spain in exchange for Cuba. Spain, in the bowels of bankruptcy for continually fighting Napoleon's wars, almost agreed, but decided to reject the offer at the last minute because of the excellent tobacco crops grown on the island. Virginia would remember this.
    The new Southron "territories" were not referred to as colonies by the new administrators, which helped keep them under control, especially as slaves were brought in again to make sure the islands fulfilled their entire reason for existence: agriculture. Slaves that had been free under British rule were allowed to keep their freedom, though they were in the absolute dregs of society. France had no qualms about slavery's expansion, as Napoleon had re-instituted the system himself in Haiti and Louisiana. In early 1813, a slave revolt in Haiti was brutally crushed by French, Spanish, and Southron troops. The South was determined to let their own slaves know rebellion would be punished mercilessly. Over 2000 Haitian slaves were guillotined and their heads placed upon pikes as a warning to other would-be freedom fighters.

    The Caribbean Theatre of War had--with the exception of a few roaming British holdout guerrilla forces or privateers--been wrapped up by mid-1813, in a resounding but bloody Allied victory. Now our study of the war will shift north, to Canada, and the Republican Union...


    Map of the world in 1812
     
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    CHAPTER 10
  • CHAPTER 10
    THE APOCALYPSE MARCHES SOUTH

    "We are Hellhounds sent to escort the Americans to Sheol. And though we may lose this war and the sun may set on the British Empire, we will make these curs pay dearly." - Gordon Drummond, Commander of the British Army of Canada

    The amount of British troops in Canada in 1812-13 was incredible. William had fallen hook-line-and-sinker for the trap and had left the British Motherland undermanned, all for the sake of defending glorious Canada from the Boney Frogs, Colonists, and their nonexistent invasion. However, by late 1813, the Corsican Ogre was turning his eyes to the snowy remnant and current bastion of British power. Facing continued reluctance from the Republican Union to join the Alliance, Bonaparte grew uneasy and took it quite personally. He then basically threatened the Republican Union government into finally joining the Allies in a formal way. The French dictator then called for troops to help in the finally proceeding invasion of Canada and for military access to move through R.U. lands. The R.U., under Chief Consuls Oliver Wolcott, Jr., and Joseph Bloomfield, was very hesitant to get involved, mainly because it hated to ally with its southern neighbors for anything and still harbored grudges against the French over the Franco-American War. When the Chief Consuls received a promise of new territory (the R.U. wanted to expand badly to compete with the South, but had no where to expand in before this), it sealed the deal. The British commander of the Army of Canada was Gordon Drummond, the first Canadian-born officer to command a British army. He tried to ship troops back to England when news began arriving of the disaster in Europe. Several thousand soldiers died when their transports were sunk by Danish sloops prowling the cold waters of the North Atlantic around Greenland. To top it off, the newly hostile R.U. had made a surprise attack into New Brunswick and Nova Scotia. The troops in Halifax and Fredericton, which formed about 15% of the British Army of Canada, were bottled up on both sides and were taking heavy casualties.

    General Philip McDonald planned to bust out at St. John's and then march along the coast until he would come up behind American General Zebulon Pike's forces. After disabling Pike he was to march south, spreading terror and fear in the R.U. and try to burn as much of the country as possible. Canada wished to punish the Union for allying with those that were currently trampling over Britain. Zebulon Pike was indeed beaten, and beaten badly. McDonald requested that Drummond bring up every bit of soldiery Canada had in a full frontal assault on the Republican Union. McDonald stated that, "We are going to lose this war, Commander. We are going to lose no matter what. But damn my eyes if we aren't going to see the Republican Union burn before we're done. I ask you to join me on this attack, and like King Leonidas and the 300, we will march gallantly and with our heads held high to our own glorious demise."

    Drummond responded to McDonald's request by saying, "Aye, I will come. We are Hellhounds sent to escort the Americans to Sheol. And though we may lose this war and the sun may set on the British Empire, we will make these curs pay dearly. This is God's Work, McDonald. Kill all you find. Take no prisoners. Decimate them. Britannia shall not go silently into the night."

    The Republican Union called for immediate assistance from the other Allies, knowing they were about to experience one of the worst invasions in the past five centuries. French troops were en route, but not in large enough numbers-- in fact in downright small numbers. Maryland had fortified, Virginia was preparing, but Georgia and the Confederation were far too busy in the Caribbean. But the Confederation, Georgia and West Florida, as well as Spain, seemed extremely slow in just giving a darn about the hateful Union's fate, which was, in a way, a fair reaction, considering the R.U.'s attitude to its neighbors. They essentially wanted to see the R.U. get taken down a notch. This decision and reluctance to help, though seemingly wise at the time, doomed the world of the future to a horrible fate.

    The beginning of the true dystopia of human history was when McDonald plowed through the terrified militias in upper New England. One city after another burned. The British wanted nothing more than revenge and supplies to keep the fight going, not to add conquered territories to the defunct Empire. No, they sought only enough food and ammunition to pillage the next town and burn the next courthouse. When Drummond joined in, cruising across the R.U.-Canadian border with no resistance at all, he had a few brief skirmishes with the Green Mountain Republic of Vermont before its government fled in terror southward. Leaving that small country to rot in its own failure, the Commander of Canada marched down to northern Massachusetts to join forces with McDonald. Together, they overwhelmed Zebulon Pike a second time, where Pike died fighting at Mt. Greylock (January, 1814). Canadian militias were still coming down from Northern New York, pillaging as they went, creating a trident formation of armies aiming to impale New York City. But currently, the Anglo-Canadians were laying siege to Boston, the cradle of the hated American monsters' independence. The R.U. was collapsing, and the panic of losing everything was very real to most.​


    Republican Union troops march to their deaths at Mount Greylock

    Bloomfield and Wolcott were furious at the seemingly deliberate lack of willpower from their "allies." President Madison of Virginia was finally sending in troops to put the Canadians down, and the Carolinians were marching to the call of battle, but it was clear by this point that the Republican Union would be virtually destroyed by Canada before the Allies came in and helped in full force. Boston fell late March. Except for some brief scavenging, the Redcoats didn't actually occupy the city. Instead, they elected to burn as much as they could. Then, they packed up an marched to New York City.

    Canadian manpower was running rather low at this point, but their rage seethed on. Drummond and McDonald approached New York City in mid April. On April 22, several cannonballs crashed into the outskirts of the huge city. However, Virginia, Maryland, and Carolinian armies were at last fast approaching from the south, and the wrathful Canadians were forced to give up and retreat west, uniting with the militias that had been burning New York state itself. Together they trudged west, along the New York-Pennsylvania border. Then, in a surprise move, they jutted back southward into Pennsylvania itself. Following a brief campaign, the Canadians were defeated at Clarion, and from then on out Drummond and McDonald were on the retreat. The war was lost in the New World, and just barely continuing (equally hopelessly) in Britain itself. However, over 70,000 Republican Union men, women, and children had been killed during the Canadian Invasion, and a scar was left on North America that would only deepen as time went on, and is considered by many to be the beginning of the so-called "End Times Era." True horror would result from the actions of Gordon Drummond and Philip McDonald... horror beyond their wildest imagination.

    Eyewitnesses of the savagery of Drummond's Campaign described it as "Hellish." One pastor of rural Massachusetts wrote in his diary that "It is difficult to write down what I have seen. In all my years of life I had yet to see a killing. Yesterday I saw 15 young men of Davidsport rounded up and shot in the woods behind my house. Their blood is still wet on my property. Then, the British soldiers raped the women of the town before hanging the one who resisted the most. Her body dangles naked above the burnt out cinders of our town. The soldiers then took all of our horses and as much of anything else they could carry and started back to Canada, singing songs and laughing as they went. I do pray for America's swift vengeance upon these demons, and upon the scum who promised us protection and followed through not."

    The Union wept. The Union screamed. The Union would never be the same. Before the last British soldier left American soil and slunk back into Canada, many Yankees were already calling for swift retribution. Aaron Burr called for "Almighty God to destroy all who stand against my dear nation and perpetrate such ignominious atrocities upon her." Everyone wanted one thing: Revenge. But they couldn't have it yet. America was far too weakened. And so it lurked, always just beneath the surface, a burning hatred ready to retaliate tenfold on the northern neighbor. But even more intense was the growing belief that the Allies had abandoned them, that Napoleon and the Southron nations had used Yankeedom as a meat shield to keep the Canadian forces occupied. The Great Back-Stab. This idea would burrow in deep and lodge itself in the Union psyche, gnawing at it for decades. It would never really leave.


    British troops torch a town in Upper New York


    "The Rape of Boston"


    Zebulon Pike tries to rally his men during a redcoat onslaught
     
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    THE LIFE OF AARON BURR II
  • I rather like the irony that the AFC church is basically begun in 1777 (777 being the lucky number/number of completion). This was totally unintentional on my part, but I would say it plays in well with whatever q-anon-level mystic magic sacred geometry nonsense that the "Council of Jehovah" studies. In other news, this might be the craziest thing I've ever written, and was also extremely fun. I think the fact I was truly enjoying creating this lunacy truly shines through in all the details. Also, play the Messiah video below while you read the first bit for added character.


    THE LIFE OF AARON BURR II

    FOUNDER OF THE AMERICAN FUNDAMENTALIST CHURCH



    (Verse 1) And lo, the Angel of Destiny showed himself through the din and smoke of battle that day, and he did reveal to me Jehovah's plan. For God Our Lord has lifted us above all other nations. A shining city upon a hill, we shall worship Jehovah and build for him an altar in the evening dews and damps.

    ( Verse 2) Yea, whoever shall stand against us shall be struck down with thunderous fury, for the Angel of Destiny has told us to march on. We shall build a watchfire, and prepare the New Jerusalem to receive our Savior and his cohort of past patriot-saints upon his Second Coming. Amen.

    - Book of Manifestum, Verses 1 and 2.

    (Verse 1) And in the midst of our trials and tribulations, we know these are the End of Days. The Scions of Satan who descended from the snowy hills of the Canadian wilderness, like so many barbaric hordes of demons from the pit of hell, wreaked havoc and brought shame and dishonor upon our Christian Land. The Angel of Destiny revealed himself to me once more, bringing visions of what had been and what will be. I saw again the Martyrs, the Patriot-Saints Benedict Arnold and Daniel Shayes, in their last death gurgles. I saw the bloody snow of Valley Forge, and the bloody footprints of the Canadian horde as they marched upon our fair land in 1812.

    (Verse 2) So it was that these things were revealed unto me. And the Angel of Destiny said to me, a sword in his hand that shone like a mirror but that dripped with blood. "Fear not, faithful Aaron. For just as God has lifted thy nation above all others, so too shall Manifest Destiny be laid forth for thee. And thou shalt follow the word of Jehovah our God and bring joy and riches upon this thy nation." I was then shown visions of the future, where no more blood ran through our streets, where America stretched from sea to shining sea, through amber waves grain to purple mountains of majesty. And one flag, the Stars and Stripes, did wave over this land of free men. And everyone therein followed the Word of God.

    (Verse 3) And so it shall be that Manifest Destiny shall heal our wounds and sorrow. Fear not, faithful children, for the Angel of Destiny marches with us through the sands of time, both before and after and forever more, and shall bring us to fulfill these Prophecies and Visions. Stand strong, and fear not, for the Lord of Hosts is with our nation. And we shall handle serpents and drink poisons and experience tumult, but nothing shall stop us from achieving our God-given duty of Manifest Destiny. And all who are against us shall be cleansed like unto glass with Holy Fire. Amen.

    - Verses 1, 2, and 3 of the Book of Fati



    Benedict Arnold, the Hero of Saratoga, surprised everyone when he rejected Congress's reinstatement of his seniority in the Continental Army. Instead, he said he would go to aid General Washington at his encampment at Valley Forge, Pennsylvania. This was a supposedly a valiant show of support for Washington, but also represented his growing disdain for the Congressional government. Privately, he said to his wife, "If they don't want to recognize my ability, I won't seek their approval."

    It was on the fateful day of December 24, 1777, that he and several officers were surveying the heavily-wooded countryside behind a rough-hewn wooden listening post. This area was called "The Gulf" and commanded the main approach to camp. The men were half-starved and many were feeling the first symptoms of frostbite set in on their fingers. Rumors had spread of a British patrol having ventured into the area and Arnold and the officers, including a young man named Aaron Burr, wanted to take a look. After all, tomorrow would be Christmas, and they hoped to get through it one piece. Instead, though, as Arnold looked through his spyglass, he noticed a dot of red through the treeline. Then another. And even more after that. Soon, all could see the red with their naked eyes. An attack!

    Quickly, the men readied their weapons as the British light infantry came scurrying through the brambles and snow mounds. A shot rang out, a puff of smoke rising above the underbrush. The soldier next to Arnold went down, blood gushing from his shoulder, his face contorted in a silent scream. The pointy faced man in an officer's uniform made an obvious target for a sharpshooter (a tactic the British had only recently adopted from their American counterparts), and so Arnold looked about for cover. Blam! A cannonball came screaming overhead, fired from a light artillery piece hidden somewhere in the trees. It hit about 10 feet away from Arnold, the shock sending him careening backward, falling hard and losing his three-cornered hat and wig.

    The shot had landed right next Aaron Burr, sending the young man to the ground as well. The roar of the guns and artillery was all the New Jersey native could hear for a moment, but then everything faded. He slowly picked himself up, still deaf, with everything seeming to move in slow motion. He saw flashes of light, he saw blood on the snow. He realized it was his own, coming from his ears. He stood there, motionless, trying as best as he could to move. But still he remained, an unbelievably open target.

    Arnold had had enough of this skirmish! He picked himself up, grabbed his hat, and looked around for safety. "Burr, you fool! Snap out of it! We're going to withdraw to the main camp! We aren't going to last any longer out here!" he screamed hoarsely over the din of the battle. Burr remained still, and Arnold gave up. He rushed past him to retreat, but as he stepped directly in front of Burr a musket ball came smacking directly into his spine.

    Suddenly, Burr snapped back to reality as the mortally wounded Arnold slumped into him. He immediately reached to support him. "No!" cried Burr, as he dragged Arnold to the ground to take from another sniper shot. The musket ball slapped into a tree just behind them. The morning sunlight seemed to shine down directly on Arnold's pale face as gazed up at Burr. "Come on, Arnold," said Burr, clutching the man's hand with his own like a vice, "Your country needs you! You can't die on us!"

    Arnold, now with blood foaming out of his mouth, smiled weakly and said, "Tell them, tell them for me, Burr... I regret I have but one life to give for my country." The last thing Arnold ever saw was George Washington and the American army come crashing through the trees behind Burr. The day was saved. The British skirmishing party began to flee back to their own lines.

    As Arnold's lifeless body was placed on a stretcher, Burr stood up and stared out through the carnage. British dead littered the field and the American troops were surging forward, officers screaming, "For the Hero of Saratoga and the God of the New England, forward!" Burr felt the blood trickle out his ears and the ringing continue. Suddenly, it grew louder once more and everything slowed again. The charging Americans seemed as if almost frozen in time. Burr dropped to his knees. Blood was pouring out of his nose. Before there had been many blinding lights, like seeing stars, but now there was one light and everything seemed to fade like a dream. He saw a man with huge wings, glistening like bronze, and armored in plate and chain, clutching a bloody sword. The figure seemed to talk to him from inside Burr's own head, never moving his mouth. He told him a dictionary's worth of things, and he seemed to whisk Burr away to many locales, again, only in his head.

    George Washington sheathed his saber and galloped back to the listening post. There he saw Burr sitting on his knees, his eyes glazed over as if in another world. Blood was pouring from his nose and ears. Washington had seen what would later be known as shell-shock, but Burr would always vehemently deny it was something so ordinary. He would later claim it was a vision of an angel. Washington rode up and dismounted to check on Burr. He shook his shoulder violently and suddenly Burr snapped to and seemed to fly backwards. Washington helped him pick himself up and made sure he could hear and speak. "Burr," said the American commander, "We lost Arnold, but I'm glad we didn't lose you too, sir. You should have been killed as well, my men are all saying. That cannonball landed inches away. God has something special for you, I think, young man. This isn't the first time I've seen you cheat death in my army. Come, you can ride with me back to camp and we can get you patched up and a shot of whiskey." Burr accepted the offer and slowly mounted the horse to sit behind Washington. The world would never be the same. A case of shell-shock was about to create a religion...

    ***



    "Catch on fire with enthusiasm and people will come for miles to see you burn." - Rev. Aaron Burr II
    Aaron Burr II was born to the Reverend Aaron Burr I and his wife Esther Edwards in Newark, New Jersey, on February 6th, 1756. Reverend Burr I was a Presbyterian minister who helped found Princeton University. Esther was the daughter of famed Calvinist preacher and fiery orator Jonatha
    n Edwards, who also helped to found Princeton University.


    Jonathan Edwards

    At age two, young Aaron suffered the death of his father and mother (in that order) in the space of a year. His maternal grandfather Jonathan Edwards took him in and raised him to be a radical Calvinist and anti-British. He was taught by the hellfire preacher that Britain was the modern Sodom, full of drinking and lust. Burr was immensely traumatized when Edwards was killed in a carriage accident in 1765--Burr was just 9, and Edwards was 62. Burr was then sent to live with Philip Jonas of Boston, a close friend of the late Edwards and a radical American Patriot. At age 19 in 1775, Aaron Burr II joined the Continental Army as a junior-grade minister and infantryman. He served as a colonel under George Washington during the brutal winter at Valley Forge and was the officer in charge of "the Gulf," an isolated pass commanding approach to the camp. After a series of harrowing attacks by British scouts and sharpshooters which involved Burr nearly getting killed every time, his men started to say he was "blessed by the Lord." Washington himself gave him a personal thanks and multiple awards and medals, and upon Benedict Arnold's arrival at Valley Forge, he was made Arnold's aide-de-camp.

    When the troops began demoralizing as the cold blew in that winter and supplies ran short, Burr took out his Bible (the copy his grandfather had used during his famous Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God sermon) and proceeded to "deliver such a fiery oratory that we felt thawed from the frostbite," wrote Benedict Arnold, who later took a bullet for Burr in the spine and died. Some argued he simply ran in front of Burr at the right time an was actually running away from the fight, but Burr always stated Arnold had sacrificed himself and was a hero and martyr.

    Burr supposedly was visited by "The Angel of Destiny" as he sat on the snow, blood fountaining out his nose and ears, mumbling to himself. As time went on, Burr began experiencing chronic migraines and spells. A doctor offered him treatment, but he refused, claiming God would heal him. Burr retired from the army and became an ordained minister and later was elected a Member of Congress for New York (1795), and was one of the Hawks who pushed for what became the Franco-American War (1799-1800) which resulted in the death of Washington and ushered in the Collapse of the Old United States. He pushed for the conflict because "America's sacred honor is on the line and Louisiana should be ours through Manifest Destiny.

    But it was the period of 1798-1799 that were most important in Burr's life. His head injury is likely the cause of a series of long dreams he had where he once again saw "The Angel of Destiny and his grandfather Jonathan Edwards" in Heaven. "And they and the voice of the Lord said unto me, 'And these signs shall follow them that believe: In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues. They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover. Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you.'" Burr had written down his "experience" at Valley Forge, but had kept it private. Now, these new visions seemed to verify the first encounter. He claimed that what he had done at Valley Forge and what the men there had said about him was true, that he was specially chosen by God for a special purpose. Burr wrote in late 1798 to his close friend and Republican Union founder Willard Crawford, "I have formulated plans for a new church. It shall be located in Philadelphia, as close to the Congress as I can, and perhaps near to Articles of Confederation Hall. This way, in betwixt doing the Lord's Work at the pulpit, I shall do the Lord's Work at the Congressional Chambers. Wish me well and please pray for my success."


    Burr's Fundamentalist Church in Philadelphia
    Burr's "new church" was actually a new denomination. Branded American Fundamentalism, the church was completed in mid-1799. His ferocious and red-faced rhetoric converted many immediately, and raised the ire of many others. Ignoring claims he was behaving like a cult leader, Burr continued to preach under the Freedom of Denomination Clause of the Articles of Confederation. He ended up converting several other Congressmen, drawing further attention. A newspaper pundit in Boston claimed that:

    "The Madman Burr continues to propagate his blasphemy throughout the fair city of Philadelphia. He pretends to be his grandfather, like a boy playing soldier, but his sheer lunacy is nothing like the great minister of old, and his falsehoods are not nearly as innocent as a lad playing at muskets. Believe this publication when we say this 'church' is merely a flash in the pan, and his so-called followers are simply there for the entertainment of the spectacle and lunacy medicine show that is Colonel Burr."


    Burr continued on, and by the time of the creation of the Republican Union, he had actually a sizable amount of followers in his pews. His ultra-patriotism and his friendship with Crawford kept opponents from going after him, and he became the Union's Second Chief Consul and Crawford the First, two men becoming the new leaders of the new nation. As Chief Consuls for the next seven years (re-elected every year), Crawford and Burr helped shape the entire history of the Union. They are considered the only truly strong Consuls of the 19th Century, as the rest just muddled along and wielded almost no power of any sort and went through the political revolving door.

    By the time of his retirement from politics, the membership of Burr's church was a whopping amount, with at least 2,000 followers in the Philadelphia area alone. Up in his adopted home state of New York, he had built another church, called the Second Fundamentalist Christian (with the Philadelphia branch being named simply Fundamentalist Christian), and it grew to a huge (for the time) 8,000 members statewide. In 1820, all of the churches were re-branded as "American Fundamentalist Christian," each with its own number. It then began leaking over into his original home state of New Jersey, where several of his young deacons began orating at Princeton University, greatly upsetting the Calvinist professors there, to the point that they banned preaching by the "Burr Sect" on campus.


    An AFC evangelist leads a revival in New Hampshire (1815)

    Many in places that had not experienced a sermon by Burr had no idea what on earth could make it so appealing, but when a series of traveling revivals swept the nation, they found out sure enough. Burr and his deacons started off simple, appealing to the crowds in a friendly, folksy way. Then, they would start haranguing them, spewing hatred about Catholics, Deists, and immigrants. Then would come the appeal to their patriotism, hitting them with the impoverished state of the Union and with the "former glorious United States of America, an Christian Empire that was destroyed by the Papist-sympathizing and traitorous slave-whipping Southrons." By the end of the sermons, people sitting in the pews began weeping, screaming, and flying out of their pews in a seizure-like craze.

    Unbelievably, in 1813 when Burr published the Book of Manifestum and the Book of Fati, two strange, lucid fever dreams masquerading as a religious text, instead of facing public mockery and being laughed out of his position, many people embraced them as "Holy Prophecies." The Two Books of Manifest Destiny were revanchist, violent, terrifying texts discussing how the Angel of Destiny revealed itself to Burr and how God was in control of the Union. According to the Two Books, Burr was promised that if America worshiped Jehovah, he would make them invincible in war and would reunite the former United States into a glorious New Jerusalem stretching over the Hemisphere. Those that did not come to Jehovah and the ways of America would be "turned into glass and sand" like the modern Sodom and Gomorrah, struck down by an American God's righteous fury. Now, there was a vast majority that did indeed mock Burr and treat his "prophecies" as nonsense, but the fact that so many accepted it really went to prove how desperate the Union was for any scrap of hope or promise in the aftermath of 1812. America seemed to be drawing the short straw every year since the Revolution ended, but the AFC promised a brighter tomorrow, where all wrongs would be righted and "Manifest Destiny would heal the wounds and dry the tears" of an oppressed people. Americans began seeing themselves as the modern tribes of Israel, wandering through the desert waiting for God to show them the way to salvation.

    Burr's own wife Theodosia Prevost, with whom had a son named Theodor, in 1783, supposedly was terrified for her husband's mental health after he had come home from the war. She thought he was mad for over 20 years but refused to not support him. She loved him dearly and when the "Third Great Awakening" took the country by storm beginning in 1813, she finally was baptized "in the sweet waters of Manifest Destiny, in the name of Jehovah."

    The audiences in the churches and revivals of this Third Great Awakening would become so enthralled that, as one witness wrote in a diary, "One middle-aged gentlemen in thick spectacles had been screaming out and crying like a man-possessed in the fifth aisle down. This man had been going blind. Reverend-Colonel Burr simply raised his hand at him, said a few words in a strange tongue, and the man flew out into the aisle like the Lord had grabbed him by his cravat. The Reverend-Colonel struck his palm on the man's head once, and the man again went flying erratically down the aisle like his spirit had been smote from his body. It was amazing. This blind man rose and could see again." Later claims that the man was an actor were denied by the Fundamentalists.

    The people attending became so convinced of his power that when he started the terrifying practice of holding snakes in church as a following of what "God" had told him in his dream years before, attendance dropped (as those not fully converted and those just there to watch became frightened), but then attendance actually sky-rocketed. Crying out that, "They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover," Burr's overpowering showmanship kept his services standing room only. People came from all over, even Europe, to hear him speak.


    An AFC service in Philadelphia in 1830 (the crowds became so enormous a massive awning had to be created as the church couldn't hold all the followers any more)

    The many people who rejected Burr said the reason for the seemingly "divine" power was nothing but a crowd effect, where those who believed Burr held the power to "Slay them in the Spirit" were just simply wanting Burr to have that power. They wanted to escape the drab hopelessness of the struggling Union and were glad to have someone to "show them the way." John Jay wrote of Burr's Fundamentalists: "This is nothing but boulderdash and mind-trickery. I have attended these services and not once did I come to the belief that Aaron Burr, of all people, was casting the Lucifer out of anyone. I noticed he never attempted to 'slay' any of my family's spirits or my own, likely because he knows we aren't a pack of uneducated ignorant fools of the type who are amazed when a trickster pulls a silver eagle out of someone's ear. This madman would never have been Second Chief if it wasn't for Crawford being his personal friend. I dread to see where this sect goes. I swear, if the people of this nation are so willing to believe this low-brow, silver-tongued demagogue and follow him in the handling of venomous snakes and the other assorted insane practices, then I fear for the Union's future. The mentality of a mob bowing down to their leader is the mentality of men who will do anything for that leader. And that is how tyranny come to power. We have tasted tyranny once before and it wore a Federalist cockade in its hat. If it comes to visit again upon this nation it shall be draped in the flag and carrying a cross."

    In 1825, Burr released the Book of Patriots. This Third Book of Manifest Destiny explained how those who were giants of "American freedom and unity" and who died "heroes of the Republic" were to become "Patriot-Saints" in the AFC religion. The first to officially be inducted, of course, was Benedict Arnold, and a massive stained glass memorial was created at inside the Philadelphia church. The choir stage was located directly in front of it. Right before Burr's death, the actual remains of Arnold and his wife were reburied in a tomb located directly under the stage. The tomb was lavish and ornate, and portraits of Arnold adorned the walls. Roman-style fasces, a symbol prominent with the AF Church, covered the inside of the tomb. Willard Crawford, George Washington, Daniel Shays, and Charles Lee, the slain Hero of Monmouth, were next to be re-interred in the Philadelphia catacombs under much pomp and circumstance. George Washington received a ceiling mural depicting him as a god among the clouds. When the Prophet Reverend-Colonel Burr died in 1839, an impressive memorial was created, and his body placed inside a tomb with iron walls and draped in flags and Roman imagery. The floor was the finest red silk and golden eagles dotted the room, telling allegories of America's past and proposed future. Above it, in the church proper, a giant mural depicting the Angel of Destiny was erected over the tomb entrance. The "beeswax cylinder," mankind's earliest known voice-recording instrument, was used with Burr just before his death. Every December 24, known officially as Benedict Arnold Day by a future regime, was considered the birthday of the AFC, and the cylinder was played, reciting a single verse fragment: "Manifest Destiny shall heal our wounds and sorrow. And God our Lord has placed us above all other nations."


    The Benedict Arnold Memorial


    Upper Mural of the Philadelphia AFC Church

    In 1819, a 25 year-old deacon took charge of a growing Fundamentalist church in Boston, and became by far the most important of Burr's successors, his influence equaled only somewhat by Burr's son Theodore. His name was Edward Everett, and he was considered the finest orator in Boston. In 1820, several "Irish-Catholics" attacked during a sermon, killing five and burning down 30% of the church. Everett and Burr claimed it proof of the inferiority and murderous tendency of the Irish and Papists, and went about building the chapel larger and grander than ever before. It was a huge building, and when Aaron Burr died in 1839, an obelisk was constructed outside called the Burr Monument. Measuring in at 555 feet, it was the tallest stone structure in the entire world. Inside the monument, huge rows of stained glass depicted scenes from the lives of Jesus, Jonathan Edwards and Aaron Burr, especially those of Burr heroically standing upright in a hail of British fire at Valley Forge. One depicted the Apotheosis of Benedict Arnold.


    The Burr Monument in Spring by Andrew Gibbs (1869)

    In addition to having a colossal Egypto-Roman monument dedicated in his name, Burr's self title of "Reverend-Colonel" was held by every following head of the American Fundamentalist Church. While still technically correct to refer to Burr as "Reverend-Colonel" after his death, most called him "The Prophet Burr." The title "Colonel" was later turned into an award similar to the European title of count, but granted by the Church rather than the government. Charles Goodyear would be the first man to become an American Colonel. He was a choir boy in the Boston church when he was 10, and had been personally baptized by Burr after a soul-seeking trek to Philadelphia at age 19.

    Though glorified in death and enshrined as a prophet, Burr would be later almost deified by the Manifest Destiny Party of the latter half of the 19th century. Benedict Arnold would also receive a nationally funded memorial in the form of the Benedict Arnold National Memorial Museum, erected in 1880, which showcased many "holy relics" from Biblical times, such as Roman armor and relics supposedly from Solomon's Temple, to modern "End of Days" items, such as the uniform Arnold was wearing when he was shot and Burr's original manuscripts of the Three Books of Manifest Destiny. Paintings glorifying America and war covered the inside of the domed building. The Arnold Memorial Museum was located on Boston's waterfront. The biggest visitation increase occurred in 1901 when the "Spear of Destiny," the spear supposedly used on Jesus during the Crucifixion, was put on display, supposedly retrieved by the Benedict Arnold University's archaeological team in Palestine.


    The Benedict Arnold Memorial Museum by Franz Kapp (1875)


    Detail inside the Arnold Memorial Museum depicting the Angel of Destiny smiting the foreign hordes

    Another policy instituted by Burr in old age was the 1829 creation of the Council of Jehovah. It was a secret society that set official church policy and would pick a new church head after his passing. They would become the "Anti-Cardinals," so to speak, and they would gather at their highly secretive "Hall of Destiny" in Philadelphia to pick a new Reverend-Colonel each time the last one passed. Members of the Council always wore masks in public, and were not allowed to reveal their identities, as that was believed to "make it about them instead of the Lord." Among their other duties and practices were attending and leading prayers at national events, presiding over mass military funerals in time of war, and studying the Bible and the Three Books of Manifest Destiny. They also practiced "rituals of sacred Christian geometry, handed down through the eons by the Builders of the Temple of Solomon." Through these rituals, which involved copious amounts of meditation, numerology, and a drug the Native Americans called "peyote," they believed they would grow closer to God. Meanwhile, they also pushed for world-wide abolition of slavery, which became illegal in the Union in 1820.


    The Council of Jehovah inducts a new member in this crude interpretation of CoJ rituals


    Earliest known photographic portrait of members of the Council of Jehovah (1850)

    Theodore Burr (1783-1867), Aaron's only son, would go on to more politics than preaching but was, for a short time, considered a likely "Reverend Colonel Burr II," before the position passed ultimately to Everett in a surprise move. This angered Theodore, and a rift grew between the Church and the Burr family. Theodore's son Aaron Burr III (1819-1909) would never hold the title, and instead would become a high-ranking government official. Towards the middle of the 19th century, many citizens grew wary of American Fundamentalists overrunning the government offices, and their suspicions of the group's political plots were only strengthened when the Union Army adopted "Onward Christian Soldiers" as their official song. "Onward Christian Soldiers" was Aaron Burr's favorite hymn. John Jay's words seemed to be ringing true. But to most citizens, the AFC was seemingly unstoppable, and it became a religious and political machine, reaching every aspect of life in the Republican Union.


    Everett brought back the practice of traveling revivals and went west himself to Ohio. It was there in Cincinnati that Everett would have the pleasure of converting a blond-haired young man by the name of George Armstrong Custer. Once again, the path of Manifest Destiny was beginning to be laid out. The world was in for a wild ride.
     
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    CHAPTER 11
  • Much improved!

    CHAPTER 11

    PAX NAPOLEONICA


    "It has become increasingly clear to this journalist that the French Caesar thinks he has achieved supreme victory. He has met the enemy, and they are his. At least for now. What may lay down the road is unknown, but the stability of the huge empire--and indeed the Peace of Europe--will be difficult to maintain."

    -Harold Jenkins Abernathy, Chief Editor of the Maryland Gazette, January 1, 1815
    Napoleon declared the Napoleonic Wars over on Christmas Day, 1814. In Canada, the British had been annihilated at last. The aide from the Southrons and French had finally arrived. However, to the people of the Yankee states, it was too little and far too late. The seeds of hatred had been planted, and the AFC would water the shoots. The Canadians had essentially pillaged themselves into exhaustion until American troops could finally start winning victories and taking the fight into Canada. McDonald had been captured in northern Quebec and was executed by the Republican Union military for war crimes, a startling event for the period. Drummond escaped to an unknown fate, many thought into the Great Canadian Frontier, leaving many Union citizens thirsting for revenge and wanting to take it out on Canadian citizens and prisoners, who were sometimes randomly executed for "war crimes" in batches of 100 or more.

    EUROPE:
    Back in Europe, Wellesley had been captured in May, 1814. After that, the war in Britain was effectively over. Ireland declared independence on May 16, the same day as Wales. Joseph Bonaparte was installed by Napoleon as King of Ireland. Naples and Sicily, of which Joseph was formerly monarch of, went to his capable 15 year old daughter Zénaïde. His younger daughter, Charlotte, had died in an horrific carriage accident in 1813. Joseph took his only son, 16 year-old Dominique-Antoine Napoleon Bonaparte, with him to be Crown Prince Dominic of Ireland.


    King Joseph I, wearing Irish Green


    Flag of the Kingdom of Ireland

    Wales went for an aristocratic republican system. It was heavily inspired by the enlightenment governments of Virginia and Maryland, and Braith Nash became the first Prince-President of Wales. Nash had acted as emergency leader since the Welsh independence movement really took off and was very popular with the people. He desired maximum freedom for his people, and though he was technically a prince he wanted the government to be very much out of the people's way and moderate in its policies. He survived an assassination attempt by the radical Welsh Liberation Group, devout radical democrats who sought the overthrow of all monarchies. This outbreak of violence sadly led to Nash moving to limit civil liberties and crush opposition. He was a reluctant tyrant, but a capable one.


    Braith Nash
    Wales and Ireland inspired Scotland to finally proclaim freedom from England in a surprise move. They proclaimed a constitutional republic and elected the 81 year-old Ralph Abercromby, a former general in the British Army of Scotland, as the first President of the Scottish Republic. He was considered a fervent Scottish nationalist, anti-English, and was by far the most appropriate choice for leader. He was an intimidating figure; he had lost an arm in 1802, and a large sword gash ran along the right side of his head. He actually became known as the "Highland Bear" throughout Europe, because of his stature and his ruthless habit of getting things done, and getting them done quickly. By being free of England, Great Britain was dissolved and Scotland did not have to pay war reparations to the Imperial Alliance. This triggered massive anti-Scottish sentiment in England, but the ties of friendship between the two countries were never totally severed, as Scotland had indeed fought Bonaparte fiercely. Scotland, over the next ten years or so, would become well-known for its daring exploits in the world of exploration, with a Scottish vessel being the first to discover Antarctica in 1820.


    Scottish President Ralph Abercromby


    Flag of the Republic of Scotland


    Scottish troops in their uniforms (old surplus British red uniforms they had dyed gray-blue)

    The Republic of Scotland became a fairly happy country, but the area bordering Catholic Ireland was so volatile it had to be permanently staffed with French troops, chiefly at Fort Scotia. Fort Scotia, completed in 1820, was a massive seaside castle on the coast of Scotland that was the definition of intimidation and martial power. Scotland tolerated the French troops there for now, but it would later become problematic. Scotland never saw itself as a French satellite, and it wanted to finally be in charge of its own future for once and follow mostly republican principles. France would detest this.

    The small Isle of Man was ripped from King William, and Napoleon made the island a part of the French Empire. It made an excellent stronghold to keep an eye on Wales, Ireland, Scotland, and England. Shortly after, the French Caesar added Guernsey, Jersey, and all parts of the Channel Islands to his domains, declaring himself "Lord of Man and the Channel Isles." He then proclaimed Cornwall to be a military occupation zone and a French dependency. He set up Marquis Laurent de Gouvion Saint-Cyr, of Truro Invasion fame, as Governor of Cornwall.


    Flag of the French Dependency of Cornwall
    Meanwhile, England, now without it's Great Union, was in chaos. Several attempts to overthrow the government had been attempted, chiefly by Arthur Wellesley, who plotted a removal of William during an event known as "The 100 Days," which took place after Wellesley escaped from an Irish prison camp with a few loyal officers. At the last moment, Wellington was defeated in a small skirmish with Williamite troops at a place called Waterley, on the west coast. He was handed over to the French and Irish by obedient William and was then exiled to the Falklands, where he died of arsenic poisoning and stomach cancer five years later.

    William was desperately clinging to power as his kingdom had literally been ripped apart around him and his inherited mental problems became more and more apparent. He would have to kowtow to France from this point on or be invaded, and if he did kowtow, the people would overthrow him eventually for being a "Bonaparte boot-licker." So, finally, he announced he was abdicating the throne, which would go to his younger brother, Edward, who then became King Edward VII. In 1818, Edward married Marie Louise Viktoria, ex-wife of the late German nobleman Emich Carl, Prince of Leiningen. On May 24th, 1819, Princess Victoria of England was born.


    King Edward VII
    Edward was a moderate man of moderate temperament, rather weak in fact, but he at least seemed to be solid in the brain, and hopes were high Princess Victoria would not turn out to be a screaming banshee of a madwoman later in life. The Queen Consort was known for worrying for her daughter's health, but publicly stated again and again that Victoria was perfectly sound of mind. The only thing she expressed concern about was who would marry the princess later; with a huge family history of insanity, megalomania, and homicidal psychosis, not many princes and dukes would be wanting to meet Victoria at the altar.

    Growing unrest in England did not let up under Edward's reign, and Prime Minister Spencer Percival was gunned down in the House of Commons, rocking the English government to its core. Meanwhile, to be covered in a future chapter, the British East India Company, officially renamed the English East India Company in 1815, began to break away from its failing mother country as the Royal Navy was in tatters and steps had to be taken to secure their own safety and continuity of government. It's Governor-General, Paul Horace Greer, would eventually move for the complete end of Royal rule and for India to become a white man's empire with himself at the head. Needless to say, this would result in major problems.


    Assassination of Spencer Perceval

    Meanwhile, in the rest of Europe, armed struggles continued, but no where close to what they had been at the height of the true Napoleonic Wars. Serbia had attempted to declare a republic in 1814 and rebelled against the Ottoman Empire. The Turks crushed them, but that struggle would rear its head again later in 1816. The Turks would finally grant them local autonomy. Anti-Jewish pogroms, known as the Hep-Hep Riots, swept Bavaria after the War ended and were a bloody, nasty affair. This hostile antisemitic environment sent many wealthy Jewish-Bavarians fleeing to North America, especially the Jewish-friendly Republican Union, where they set up new businesses in the war-torn nation. In other news, Spain teetered closer to complete bankruptcy and defaulting on its debts and civil unrest was sweeping the land.


    Crude interpretation of the 1815 Hep-Hep Riots (anti-Jewish pogroms)


    THE AMERICAS:

    The French were quick to wrest Francophone Quebec from American influence, and they were also quick to warn the Union that Philadelphia would receive no territory without Imperial approval. Threats of retaliation were issued to the American Consuls, saying that any attempt by American soldiers to occupy Canadian soil permanently would be considered an act of war against France and the Continental Alliance. This shocking warning worked and America obeyed, if begrudgingly and the French government hunkered down to work out the new borders.

    In the Republican Union, anti-French demagoguery sounded through the cities and was plastered on newspapers everywhere, as well as coverage of the ongoing hunt for "Drummond the Ogre." They had no clue that in early 1815 Drummond had escaped to British holdings in India, the last remnant of British colonialism. The R.U. proclaimed Christmas Eve to be "Remembrance Day," with festivities such as dressing in black, fasting, going to church, and burning effigies of Drummond and Napoleon at the town squares. Boston proclaimed March 26 a city "holiday," officially called "Siege Day," commemorating the day in 1814 when Canadian forces barraged and burnt 50% of the famous port city down. The growing American Fundamentalist Church was one of the main sources of anti-French propaganda, cementing in the Yankee collective memory the "Great Betrayal" of France and the Southrons willingly letting Canada rampage across the Union, burning cities and killing and raping people who had never wanted to be a part of Napoleon's war anyway. And the French decree that they would have no say in the partition of Canada enraged them further, making an injury an outright insult.


    Burning Drummond's Effigy in Chapelton, Pennsylvania, by Edward Staten (1821, Maryland Gazette)
    Boston's regrowth was slow at first, and then boomed as converts of the AFC movement donated their time, money, and effort into rebuilding. New York City and Philadelphia received similar reconstruction. After the war in Europe had wrapped up, the European workforce--no longer producing ships, guns, bullets, swords, and bayonets--started leaving for the New World. The aforementioned Jewish immigrants, escaping the pogroms of the German lands, were a real shot in the arm for the Union economy as well, cementing their later acceptance within the increasingly xenophobic nation. Jewish businesses would soon become some of the most powerful in the nation. Slowly, America was picking itself up.

    France had taken over New Portugal, including all of Brazil, following the 1808 formation of the Portuguese Confederation. It then declared volatile Brazil to be an "independent Brazilian Republic." A new identity was forming in the decade after, a strange mix of Spanish, French, Indian, and Negro culture. It received quite a bit of immigration from France itself by wealthy businessmen seeking to create new plantations (and sometimes unfairly rip farms out of middle-class Portuguese growers). Many Brazilians suddenly found themselves second-class citizens, and much of their wealth was "redistributed" to Frenchmen favored by Napoleon's government. Tensions finally boiled over in 1819, when a mob of native Brazilians stormed the Brazil government headquarters with torches and farming tools. Swiss mercenaries opened fire with their expensive rifled muskets, massacring the rioters. Napoleon declared martial law and by 1820 the French were firmly the undisputed masters of New Portugal. The Republic was declared over and French rule came down with a heavy hand.


    Flag of the short-lived Republic of Brazil
    Meanwhile, immigrants to the Southron North American countries found themselves in a land of opportunity. The Southrons all highly valued hard work, and let most any white man (and much of the time Hispanics) to rise wherever the sweat of their brow would take them. The Caribbean islands were a hotspot of new citizenry. Many of the ships coming from southern Europe would stop to resupply in the Caribbean, and many of the Europeans favored the warm climate and style of living and thought it reminiscent of places like Naples and the Mediterranean coast. Thomas Bragg's Virgin Islands Confederacy experienced a massive population boom. The quasi-independent and very peaceful and agricultural Jamaica also doubled in size at this point, with citizens of the former Great Britain seeking refuge in a friendly land.

    In Georgia, though it was still considered a Protestant country, Catholic presence was increasing dramatically, largely due to the romance between the country and Catholic France. Spaniards were coming in from New Spain, and shiploads of Catholic Irish and Scots were arriving daily. Savannah soon had its very own "Little Ireland," and the metropolis grew and grew after that point, soon adding Eastern European neighborhoods, "Little Spain," German speaking areas, and more than a few Italian neighborhoods. Crime from the massive influx of immigrants, many of whom were homeless for extended periods of time as the nation adapted to the population boom, made Savannah's poorer districts a dangerous place. Savannah was "rife with Papal vermin infestations" according to R.U. newspapers, and deserved to be "exterminated by God like Sodom and the Whore of Rome itself." In 1820, the West Florida Republic was finally annexed into the Republic of Georgia. By 1840, Georgia would in fact hold a 40% Catholic minority.

    Despite the fairly decent treatment in other American countries aside from the Union, many immigrants recognized the most liberal republics were Virginia and Maryland. Virginia, as a largely agricultural country, needed as many immigrants as it could to bolster its fledgling post-war industry. French scientists and engineers had been in Virginia for decades, trying to help their good ally move beyond cotton and tobacco. When mass waves of English, Eastern European, and Austrian families arrived, Richmond may have been the national capital but Norfolk and its industry and shipyards became Virginia's economic one. Maryland had an almost purely maritime tradition. Whaling, and the general whale oil industry, was predominate, with Maryland having gone so far as having beaten the R.U. to the valuable rights to fish off the coast of Nova Scotia and Newfoundland, something which incensed the Consuls. It was only fitting that, after several brutal winters and poor harvests in the homelands (1814-18), the famously seafaring Scandinavians began pouring into Maryland with their fishing and naval know-how and many of their own boats, forming a staunch conservative, ultra-Lutheran, working-class block of the population, which severely outnumbered the formerly predominate aristocratic Catholic population (though Catholics were never a true majority).


    Marylander whalers risk their lives to supply oil to Baltimore

    By 1825, the R.U. was lagging behind terribly, but in the coming decades it would form its own metropolis out west, nested along the Great Lakes. The Northwest Territory Act was signed by the R.U. Government in 1820. The states of Ohio, Michigania, Chersnonesus, and Iowai were was declared following the Act. Shicagwa was the site of several bloody massacres of the Pottawatomie and Miami Indian tribes at the turn of the century, but by 1825 it was already a booming Lake Michigan port town. Iowai's government had proposed the idea to the Chief Consuls in 1823, right before statehood, that Shicagwa was in a perfect place to cause maximum profit; iron mines nearby and fishing on Lake Michigan were available, as well as the possibility of textile mills and such. Some business moguls then sent agents to Eastern Europe and other poor regions to lure people to Shicagwa with promises of fame, fortune, charity, and certain jobs. However, this concept would not be fully exploited until the rise of Charles Goodyear's "New Slavery" in the 1830s.

    Families would save up for years to pull together the money to cross the Atlantic, only to find Shicagwa an impoverished shanty town, where the port bosses built up a reputation for cruelty and the factories were complete sweatshops. The cheap Irish and Slavic labor would soon spiral out of hand, with the immigrants becoming slaves in everything but name. And while the slave population in the South was decreasing in the 1820s and "enlightened" plantation masters were supposedly treating blacks with more dignity, the Slavs were treated with utter contempt. On multiple occasions, America was faced with civil unrest caused by angry immigrants, and the R.U. deployed its military to crack down dissent. This gave the appearance of "violent, ungrateful savages refusing to integrate," though integration was never truly a real option to those of ethnicities not favored by the government. No understanding would ever come between the "subhuman" immigrants and the American citizens. As the AFC stepped up xen/sod/ophobia under Reverend-Colonel Edward Everett, Charles Goodyear, and beyond, any understanding that could ever have been reached was forever lost. The American population had no idea that American businesses were essentially shipping in illiterate serfs on empty promises, and thought the Slavs simply anarchistic trouble-makers who were not true Americans and who hated living in "the freest nation on earth." To them, the immigrants were lawless troublemakers who came in mass numbers to destroy the morals of the Union with "Papist doctrine and false Orthodoxy." Not every American hated the immigrants, not even most Americans, but the minority was vocal. America at this point, in the 1820s, could still have reversed this trend. It still could have become a beacon of hope and freedom, even more free than the South following the 1820 Philadelphia Decree, abolishing slavery forever within Union lands. But in the 1830s the true anti-immigrant flashpoint would occur, and the real civil unrest would begin. Immigration dropped off in the 1820s as stories crossed oceans of American xenophobia. However, when Charles Goodyear implemented the "New Slavery" in the 1830s, tens of thousands of "Inferiors" would cross the waters once again only to arrive in a Union that was just using them as a tool for cheap labor.









    Anti-immigrant cartoons of the early-to-mid 1800s showcasing extreme anti-"Inferior" sentiment in the Republican Union


    Antisemitic cartoon from Virginia mocking the Jewish immigrants to the Union

    As immigrants from Protestant countries would get off the ships in New York, Boston, and the rest, AFC missionaries would immediately greet them with a smile and hand them a Bible and the Three Books of Manifest Destiny. The Slavs, Italians, and Irish would get off the ships only to be surrounded by police and required escorts to the slums where they were housed in filthy tenements. The children of the "foreign beasts" were worked in wretched conditions in factories, farms, and mines for barely any pay at all. A visiting Georgian businessman named Barnabas P. Jekyll wrote in his diary that "the state of the foreign little ones in the Union sickens me. It is an abomination. This damnable 'Republic' should be burned down." Barnabas P. Jekyll was one of the biggest slave-owners in the South.

    As the year 1826 approached, it looked as if another year of the Pax Napoleonica would come and go. But growing discontent of the nations in the Continental Alliance was getting out of hand, actions on the Gulf of Mexico were about to plunge the very unstable New Spain into a Revolution, and back in Asia, decisions would have to be made about the all-important colonial jewel of India. Last but not least, the Mysterious Orient was calling the White Man's name. These events would all be decided upon by an assembly of world leaders meeting in Vienna....
     
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    THE EPIPHANY OF 1826
  • Revised 1826. It focuses on the so-called inferiority of well... the Inferiors. Also has a teaser to what I have planned for the Congress of Vienna in 1826! America, represented at the Congress by Charles Goodyear of course, actually gets some small pieces of Canada this go-round, with Napoleon likely thinking he has territory to spare and maybe it will make America a friendlier neighbor and they'll forgive the "Great Backstab." Spoiler alert: It won't.

    THE EPIPHANY
    OF 1826

    THE FOURTH BOOK OF MANIFEST DESTINY


    (from left to right) Edward Everett, Aaron Burr, and Milo Miles being visited by the Angel of Destiny in 1826
    It was early on the fall morning of October 1, 1826. The Prophet Burr, Boston Reverend Edward Everett, and their newest protege, Reverend Milo Miles of New York, were taking a stroll through the property surrounding Burr's massive estate in Philadelphia. The City of Brotherly Love was capital to not only the Republican Union, but also the stronghold of the American Fundamentalist Christian Church. The spires of the ever-enlarging National Church, located just a block from the Liberty Bell, gleamed in the distance, their new copper jackets reflecting the sunset of that cool, clear day.

    Burr, Everett, and Miles were engaging in an intense debate over whether or not the Southrons could ever be brought back into the fold without wholesale slaughter, when Burr began slurring words and acting strange. The other two men, thinking he was having some sort of a stroke or seizure, quickly put their arms under Burr's. Slowly, Burr's eyes rolled up in his head and he sank to his knees. Crimson blood dripped from his ears and nose, just as it had in 1777. Then, as his eyes closed, the Prophet spoke to the two preachers. "Gentlemen, let us pray. For we are in the presence of an Emissary from the Trinity. Beg for your unworthiness to be spared destruction." Immediately, true believers that they were, the two men began feverishly praying as Burr chanted in tongues. In about two minutes of time, Burr spoke again:

    "OH! Angel of Destiny! We are your humble servants! Pray tell how we humble mortals can be of any use for your holy deeds! Lo! For Manifest Destiny shall heal our wounds and sorrow, so sayeth the Angel of Destiny those many years ago! I do hope, dear holy one, that I have followed my God's instructions to spread the Word of the New Jerusalem!"

    No one present actually saw or heard anything except Burr, but Everett and Miles would insist until their dying days that they had experienced epiphany and "holy visitation."

    The Angel spoke (according to Burr):

    "Be at peace, Aaron my Prophet. Thou hast done well. Verily every word have you followed and spread to the masses. But thy life is not yet over. Thou art needed by Our Father to write a new book! A Fourth Book of Manifest Destiny shall flow from thy pen, and indeed Brothers Everett and Miles shall spread this Book and its teachings. Yea, for long after thou hast returned to dust shall thy brothers spread the Good News of this Fourth Book of Manifest Destiny."

    Burr, paralyzed in place, his glasses resting atop his thinning gray hair, begged of the Angel, "Oh joy of joys, dear Angel of the Lord! Show me the words that I may write!"

    The Angel responded, saying to him, "Faithful servant, thou shall lift thy pen this night and every night for seven nights. Only then shall the Fourth Book of Manifest Destiny be completed. Go, do these things in God's name now, and Everett and Milo shall soon useth their silver tongues to preach these words to the Holiest Nation upon the earth."

    Just like that, Burr snapped out of it, the flow of blood from his ears and nose stopping, his eyes rolling back down. The Angel was gone. Neither Everett nor Miles wanted to admit they had not seen the Angel they believed in so greatly, so both would insist from that day on they heard the Word.

    Burr quickly returned to his palatial house, "running like a man possessed" in his old age, with Everett and Miles not even able to keep up, and locked himself away in his study. In one week, on October 8, 1826, Burr finally came out of his study with a stack of papers in his hand. The Fourth Book of Manifest Destiny, The Book of Purity, was complete. He immediately summoned Everett and Miles to come read them. American culture was about to change forever.

    ***


    It was a sunny, crisp morning in Boston. Now at the zenith of fall, it made preaching outside a pleasure. Fresh air was abundant and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. Reverend Edward Everett addressed the citizens and churchgoers under the convention awning behind his AFC Church of Boston. Upon hearing he was speaking about the new Fourth Book of Manifest Destiny, just published a week before, thousands came to hear Everett speak about these latest divine revelations.

    "Some have said what the Prophet has recently written on the practice of singling out the undesirable and inferior elements of our society is unjust, or even un-Christian! I say, it is not! The Lord says it is not! I say it is a rebirth of the American experiment! It is God's will and so let it be done! How else should we achieve our Manifest Destiny? Think about it this way, folks: if we let these pope-worshiping Inferiors have rights equal to good Protestant Americans, they will corrupt and bring down our society and crush our dreams and prayers of Manifest Destiny. The Book of Purity instructs this is the only way, in vivid detail in verses 10 through 15, when the Angel of Destiny says to the Prophet, 'May God's Chosen People be fruitful. May they multiply and covereth the face of the earth with their seed. May godly men of the Chosen People take godly wives of the Chosen People in Christ's name and rear up many children. May millions upon millions be brought up with the Word of God in their mouths and hearts, and may they take that what has been prepared for them by the Lord. For the Inferiors breed copiously and degenerately, with no care for marriage or sacred rites, and they shall attempt to drag our people into the muck and mire of sin and misery with their abundant evil offspring. Yea, these Inferiors are working against the Chosen People of God. But those Inferiors that know their rightful place as workers shall be elevated to a higher place in death. For idleness is the Devil's plaything, and may work set them free from the wages of sin and barbarism.'"

    Loud hissing and booing filled the meeting place upon mention of the foreign hordes. Everett continued:

    "And so I say to you, my fellow Americans, we are in the End of Days and we must gird up our nation to weather this coming storm. The Lord has spoken through his Angel of Destiny, through the Prophet, and I was there for it all! I saw the golden gleam of the Angel speak to the Prophet! I saw it appear and disappear and I saw it's divine power. America needs to change. If we are to build the New Jerusalem we need to purify our society! It is time for America to change forever. We shall move forward, assured of our stance and the knowledge of our God-ordained superiority, and prepare for a glorious future when All shall Hail the name of the Republican Union! My brothers and sisters, go forth and multiply! The New Jerusalem won't build itself!"


    ***


    Toronto Riot of 1826

    Out west, Reverend Milo Miles was having a much harder time selling the Fourth Book to Union citizens. He was chased out of Cincinnati, Ohio, by an angry mob calling him an apostate and liar. Discouraged but not down, he went north to Chersonesus and had more luck in the city of Crawford, formerly known as Detroit. On December 3, 1826, Miles crossed into what America could now refer to as the State of Ontario, as it had been Goodyear's triumph at the World Congress earlier that same year to annex the Ontario Peninsula, Nova Scotia, and New Brunswick into the Union. There, he spoke to thousands in the City of Toronto, which was not happy to be a part of the Union and very few took the AFC seriously. He was again confronted by an angry mob. Union troops stationed in the city to prevent the newly-annexed region from breaking away intervened, forcing the mobs back and giving Miles a chance to flee.

    Next, after Miles crossed Lake Michigan to Milwauckie, Michigania, which had a booming German and Scandinavian population, he had more success with these new revelations. Now leaving race-riots in his path as AFC devout "asserted their superiority" and chased formerly-respected "filthy Inferiors" into the ghettos, he traveled on to Oshkosh. Some of the Inferiors being chased into the ghettos were citizens of the Union in good-standing, far removed from the radical hotbeds of Philadelphia and Boston. However, as religious fervor swept the country, they found themselves more and more being treated like foreigners in their own towns. One man could be a Catholic banker one week, and the next he was running for his life across the Canadian border or forced to relocate into a slum.

    Miles kept on pushing, and eventually Federal troops came to "supervise Miles peacefully practice his religious freedom." This was unbelievable to some, who saw it as the government stepping in to officially rubber-stamp the AFC Church for the first time. Yankee troops guarded revivals at several small cities, and a shootout occurred at one in Green Bay between soldiers and several Catholics and anti-AFC radicals. Known as the Green Bay Christmas Massacre of 1826, it devolved into full-scale civil unrest in the region. No one could report with accuracy who fired the first shot, but before the day was over mass rioting and rolling gunfights and looting were widespread.


    Reverend Milo Miles dictating to his secretary, a young man named Millard Fillmore


    Illustration of the Green Bay Massacre of 1826

    When all was said and done and order was returned to the streets in late December, over 100 people had been killed and an entire area of downtown Green Bay had been turned to ash. However, this would prove a boon to the AFC, as newspapers began reporting of "devious hoodlums and assassins trying to kill the honorable Reverend Miles, who was peacefully preaching to the people of Green Bay." Miles was practically martyred and sanctified alive, and when he returned to Philadelphia in February, 1827, he received a hero's welcome. Thousands of AFC loyalists called him a true saint, facing down death itself to spread the Good Word.

    As the years would go on, the AFC would gain in power more and more. It was the New America, and the changes weren't over yet. With the creation of the Council of Jehovah in 1829, born of Aaron Burr's closest, most loyal, and most... interesting... disciples, the changes were just beginning. There would be resistance to the "anti-Cardinals" at first, but quickly they would grow into one of the most feared and respected, as as well as mysterious, parts of the American Fundamentalist Christian Church.​



     
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    CHARLES GOODYEAR: THE EARLY DAYS
  • CHARLES GOODYEAR: THE EARLY DAYS
    THE FUTURE TITAN OF AMERICAN INDUSTRY MAKES A NAME FOR HIMSELF


    Charles Goodyear was born on December 29, 1800, in New Haven, Connecticut, to Amasa and Cynthia Goodyear. He was a descendant of Stephen Goodyear, one of the original English settlers of the region. However, in 1801, after the Collapse of the Old Republic, Amasa moved his family to Boston. There, the Goodyear family would be some of the earliest followers of Aaron Burr, with Charles being a choir boy. Charles was born at possibly the worst time possible for producing a stable individual, but the best time for producing a xenophobic genius. As a boy growing up in the shadow of the Collapse of the Old Republic, Goodyear resented his family's poverty and had great dreams of building a business empire. Charles hoped to travel to Philadelphia to learn the hardware trade as an adolescent, but the War of 1812 brought untold destruction upon New Haven and his family. Formerly by all accounts a friendly and polite young man of mild manners, the war would set a burning bonfire of hatred and resentment ablaze in his heart. His father Amasa volunteered to fight in 1812 and ended up in the service of General Zebulon Pike. As any schoolchild would know, Zebulon Pike's forces were decimated at the Battle of Mount Greylock in January, 1814. Among the dead lying on the field of battle was Amasa Goodyear, dead from a bayonet through the chest.

    As the Anglo-Canadians and their Indian allies came whooping and shooting their way through New England on Drummond's campaign of decimation, Charles Goodyear, his mother, and his five siblings fled to Philadelphia. Their home in Boston was looted and torched in their absence. Charles tried to volunteer to fight in the war, even as a drummer, to avenge his father, but his mother begged him to stay and keep the family safe as new head of the household. His mother passed shortly after of an illness exacerbated by her grief, making Charles' mind up for him. He stayed in Philadelphia with his siblings, working at a local chemist and drugstore.

    The entirety of the war, Goodyear's father and mother told him they would be saved as "French and Southron troops will arrive any day now." When they finally bothered to show up, it was too little, too late. The seeds of hate had been planted in Goodyear and millions of other Americans. Goodyear never got to bury his father, or even retrieve his body, but his mother's grave in downtown Philadelphia never was in want of flowers or tiny crosses he would carve with Bible verses she taught him engraved on the fronts. For his father, he buried next to his mother is father's favorite beaver-fur hat, as it was the only thing he still had of his. Goodyear would later say, "Thanks to our Allies deserting us in a war we should have easily won, thanks to the back-stabbers, I never got to bury my own father. I got to bury a hat."

    With the war over, Goodyear's younger siblings went to go live with an uncle in the Ohio Country, leaving Goodyear his own man at age 16. He remained in Philadelphia, trying his hand at different trades before getting hired by the Erie Lake Construction Company, in early 1817. Among the laborers who joined him were throngs of recent immigrants from Ireland and Italy who heard of the need for workers on the project. Goodyear, at only 17 years old, started out as a foreman because of his prior work experience and due to the fact that the old foreman on his team had been killed by a falling tree.

    Foreman Goodyear was "disgusted" by the Irish and Italian workers "poor work ethic." He wrote to his sister shortly after construction began in July, 1817, that "These Papist immigrants are of the utmost scum of the earth. Never have a seen before a lazier, more worthless or slovenly bunch of individuals. Sometimes I doubt their humanity, as if they are indeed some sort of white apes. It is most distressing here. I hope to make progress with my team in our duties, but if I am not given greater power to make them actually work, I shall quit. The Negro picks the cotton obediently and with no pay. These free men can't do what the slave Negro does for free." On his breaks, Goodyear would map out on paper different systems of log-pullers to remove the nightmarish amount of trees easily and safely and also worked on a new system of workforce management which he called "the disassembly line." Certain workers would be in charge of axes, others in charge of log removal, others in charge of charting the territory, and so on and so forth. Goodyear presented this new plan for the workers to the company bosses in early 1818, and the heads of the company, distraught by rumors it would take 30 years to create the connection of the Atlantic to Lake Erie, took him very, very seriously. The head of the company, Solomon Bush, agreed that the workers were "unmotivated and lazy" and lacked any sort of true training or organization.

    With approval from the bosses to implement his "reforms," Goodyear was placed in charge of "team management" for the entirety of the project. He brought in old war veterans to serve as company goons who would literally beat up workers deemed to be going too slow. Suddenly, 30 year estimates became 4 year estimates. The 18 year-old Goodyear was one of the most powerful men in the entire company, and he became a villain to the workers but a hero to the downtrodden American people as the project looked to be paying off. At the same time, however, measles struck the crew, killing an estimated 1000 worker over a few months. Goodyear himself contracted the disease, but refused adequate bed rest for himself, saying he needed to set a good example of the Christian work ethic. This solidified his status as a hero to American businessmen for generations.


    Productivity booms during construction of the Erie Canal thanks to Charles Goodyear

    Finally, the measles outbreak died down and work continued as before. In 1821, the Canal was opened for ships and Goodyear was offered a very high position desk job within the company. However, he felt he was capable of even more and turned the job down, taking a generous bonus with him on the way out, as well as a crew of capable loyalists. Instead, he went to New York City, a city on the upswing thanks to the economic boom the Canal had created in the region, and founded Goodyear Enterprises. At first, it was a construction business, using his expertise he had gained from the Canal. However, he soon became interested in the rubber business and the chemist training and business management side of him perked up. Rubber was greatly needed for many reasons, but current rubbers would rot and fall apart. Now, using the funds from his construction company, he opened Goodyear Rubber, the first of many subsidiaries of Goodyear Enterprises. The young man, in 1823, called upon the help of Eli Whitney, an old friend of his fathers, and they formulated the "perfect rubber" that withstood use and abuse and cold and heat. He knew he was about to become one of the wealthiest men in the country, but he didn't want to share the spotlight with Whitney. Whitney turned up face-down in a gutter in Boston several weeks later, and the cause of death was never decided.

    upload_2018-9-24_16-48-22.jpeg

    Eli Whitney

    With Whitney out of the way, the young businessman patented the rubber process under his name exclusively, and the dollars started rolling in. Goodyear Enterprises soon opened up a second office in 1824, and the Titan of Industry had truly come into his own, for better or worse. Goodyear Enterprises was a shot in the arm for the faltering Union economy, and thousands of jobs were created. In 1825, two more offices were opened, one in Boston, and the other in his old birthplace of New Haven, Connecticut. Goodyear's company was constantly plagued by rumors of worker abuse and poor treatment, with mostly Irish, Slavic, and Italian workers being forced to live in crude tenements he would create around the factories and businesses, and they would constantly complain they would work 15 hours at a time with no breaks. Iron-fisted goons would patrol the factory floors, enforcing order and "the Christian work ethic." The goons barely saw the immigrants as human, and almost all were a part of Goodyear's beloved American Fundamentalist Christian Church.

    This success would have been all most men could have managed in their lifetime, but for Charles Goodyear, it was not enough. He desired to see his form of "workforce management" be implemented all over the Union. He began preaching it as the way forward out of the economic depression. He became one of the most popular figures in the Union before he even turned 30. And in 1826, America wanted a fiery patriot to represent them at the World Congress of Vienna. Who better to send than Charles Goodyear, the penultimate American success story and most business-savvy individual in the Union? And so, off he went with Miles Romney to barter for America's final reward for its sacrifice in 1812. He was determined that the world would finally respect the Union like it deserved, and he would avenge the death of his father once and for all.
     
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    CHAPTER 12
  • CHAPTER 12:
    THE CONGRESS OF VIENNA 1826


    Napoleon I arrives at the Congress

    In early 1826, after over a decade since the end of the Great Wars of the Empire and the beginning of the "Pax Napoleonica," Austria's Kaiser Franz I, his own father-in-law, started to protest the way Napoleon had not broken up the British Empire among the Allies and rewarded them in other ways, as had been the promised arrangement and one of the main reasons the other countries fought for Napoleon in the first place (the other being blatant fear of total destruction). Thus, Napoleon, who was seemingly surprised by the anger and proclaimed to have just been busy conquering India from the British and East India Company holdouts and the native Indian warlords, agreed to hold a World Congress, the first of its kind, at Vienna.

    The Indian topic needs not to be glossed over, however, as when Britain collapsed in Europe, India fell into civil war and unimaginable bloodshed. The East India Company, under Governor-General Paul Horace Greer, had attempted to maintain order as they waited on word from the homeland on what step to take next. Finally, as word spread that the Royal Navy had been sunk and Great Britain was in the midst of falling apart, Greer and his top officers proclaimed the independent "Empire of India," with Greer taking power as Emperor after snuffing out all opposition within the Company. When couriers arrived from England saying half of Indian holdings were to be turned over to the French, anyone who doubted Greer's leadership put aside their enmities and fought together against the Frogs.

    Flag of the Empire of India, following the collapse of Great Britain

    In early 1816, the French Imperial Navy seized all islands near the Indian coast and, ironically, arrested EIC officers for treason against the English Crown and Parliament. Also ironically, the English Royal Navy was also on the scene fighting alongside the French against a mutual enemy. While some English supported the Empire of India as a last stand of Britannia against the French tyrants, others indeed viewed them as backstabbing traitors. After all, under Napoleon's terms England would have kept a substantial portion of their holdings. Now with the EIC rebelling and the lack of manpower to police the innumerable regions of the Indian subcontinent, it became unlikely that England would keep much at all.

    For nine years the battle raged in India. Greer was a fierce opponent who wasn't going to go down easily, but he would eventually make a fatal mistake. In January, 1825, Greer, or the self-styled "Paul I, Emperor of India," was invited by the Maharajah of Mysore, Mummadi Krishnaraja Wadiyar, to come to his palace to discuss an alliance against the French and English. Supposedly, Mysore would fight for the Empire of India and in exchange keep its independence and a yearly tribute. This sounded like a great deal to Greer, and he, several loyal native warlords, and some of his troops made the trip to the massive city.

    Arrival of Emperor Paul I in Mysore

    However, all was not what it seemed. Following a lavish banquet and much trinket-exchanging, the Maharajah's favorite dancing girls entertained Greer and his men. All the while, outside the impressive, ornate palace, footsteps could be heard. At first just a few. Then many. Before long, English and French troops had completely surrounded the building. Now drunk out of their minds and enjoying wine, women, and song, Greer and his loyalists had no idea the Maharajah had betrayed them and sold them out to France in exchange for nominal independence.

    Outside, the orders finally came. With loud rally cries of "Down with the Traitor Greer!" and "Vive César de France!", the combined forces smashed their way into the palace, their boots clicking by the dozens on the marble mosaic floors. When Greer, drunk and just waking from a nap, finally noticed the betrayal, troops were already two rooms away. The Maharajah fled the room as his bodyguards drew their curved swords and began gutting Greer's men like fish. It was a bloodbath. Greer, panicked and stumbling, drew his sword and charged into the fray. French and English troops burst into the room, their bayonets shining in the light of the chandeliers and their faces filled with rage. Then and there, Paul Horace Greer, the first and only Emperor of independent India, was cut down.

    Illustration of a battle between Franco-Indian troops and Greer loyalists

    Upon the news of Greer's demise, the warlords who were originally loyal to him started to send apologies and tribute to Bombay, the main French occupied city in India. In other parts of India, fighting would rage on as former EIC men now fought for native warlords and princes, but it was never the same. The death of Greer sealed India's fate to resubmit to European rule. France would ruthlessly stamp out all forms of resistance and Bombay was renamed as the Principality of Bombay. The old British colonial borders were reinstated, and English officers were brought in to try to normalize French rule.
    india.png

    Flag of French Imperial Indian holdings

    ***
    Thousands of troops had been dying in this "Pax Napoleonica," and the Continental Alliance felt more and more like something that was falling apart every day. Napoleon grew very worried about increasing discontent among the Allies and feared that he might yet loose his throne in a last War of the Coalition. He need to keep the peace and show the other nations they were respected and their problems could be solved peacefully. And so it was that he summoned the long-anticipated Congress of Vienna. He had planned for it to be held in 1820, but continued problems in India, South America, and Africa had kept him too busy. Now, at last, the leaders of the world would gather in peace at the first meeting of its kind, and a step closer to a peaceful Napoleonic system Caesar desperately wanted to leave his children.

    The Congress's opening was full of pomp and circumstance. Several days were allotted for the monarchs and leaders to drown themselves in the praise and salutes and bows of the others, all given and received with doubtful sincerity. The following is a list of most of the leaders present (their dignitaries are not counted, which sometimes numbered in the hundreds):

    France:
    • Napoleon I, Caesar (also Emperor of India, King of Andorra, King of Italy, Lord of Mann, Mediator of the Helvetic Confederation, Protector of Brazil, Protector of the Confederation of the Rhine, and Protector of the Free City of Lisbon)
    • Michel Ney, Prime Minister
    Denmark-Norway:
    • Frederick VI, King
    • Otto Joachim Moltke, Prime Minister
    England:
    • Edward VII, King (traditional title of King of Hanover given to Friedrich Wilhelm of Prussia six years prior to the Congress)
    • John Wallace, Prime Minister
    Austria:
    • Franz I, Kaiser (also King of Hungary and Bohemia)
    • Prinz von Metternich, Chancellor
    Kingdom of Prussia and Hanover:
    • Friedrich Wilhelm III, King
    • Count von Wylich, Chief Minister
    Kingdom of Bavaria:
    • Ludwig I
    Kingdom of Saxony and Grand Duchy of Warsaw:
    • Frederick Augustus I, King, Grand Duke
    Württemberg:
    • Wilhelm, King
    Baden:
    • Karl, Grand Duke
    • Stéphanie, Consort, Daughter of Napoleon I
    Portuguese Confederation and Etruria:
    • Louis, King (Powerless puppet following orders directly from Napoleon I)
    Principality of Lucca and Piombino:
    • Elisa Napoleona, Princess
    Kingdom of the Two Sicilies (formerly Naples and Sicily):
    • Zénaïde, Queen, Daughter of Joseph Bonaparte
    Kingdom of Holland:
    • Louis I, King, Brother of Napoleon I
    Kingdom of Sweden:
    • Karl XIV, King (Jean Bernadotte, former grand marshal under and bitter rival of Napoleon I)
    Spain:
    • Ferdinand VII
    Ottoman Empire:
    • Benderli Selim Sirri Pasha, Ottoman Grand Vizier
    Russian Empire:
    • Nicholas I, Czar (also Grand Duke of Finland)
    Republican Union:
    • Charles Goodyear, Representative
    • Miles Romney, Representative
    Confederation of the Carolinas:
    • Andrew Jackson, Chancellor
    • John C. Calhoun, Colonel of the Confederation (unique title; essentially Prime Minister)
    Virgin Islands Confederacy:
    • Thomas Bragg, Governor-General (answered directly to Jackson and also brought young son Braxton with him; the Congress had a "profound" effect on the boy)
    Republic of Virginia:
    • Henry Clay, President (also representing the Chesapeake Republic of Maryland)
    • Daniel Webster, Vice President
    Republic of Georgia:
    • John Hardee, Representative (also representing the West Florida Republic and the Republic of Jamaica)
    Green Mountain Republic of Vermont:
    • Jay Thomas Powell, Chancellor (stormed out after being ridiculed by Ludwig of Bavaria)



    The Canadian Question and Goodyear's Tirade, July 5th-6th, 1826:
    The whole reason that the Republican Union really bothered to show up to "Napoleon's tea party" was the long-standing dispute over the Canadian territories. The Republican Union had a fiery young businessman named Charles Goodyear as their chief negotiator, who was in turn balanced by the mild and moderate Miles Romney, a State Consul of Massachusetts. Goodyear had become a Union icon in recent years following his almost single-handed turnaround of the the Erie Lake Canal Company, founding his own business empire, Goodyear Enterprises, and bringing industry and commerce booming back to the Republican Union. He was a fiery orator as well, and he absolutely detested Europeans, and especially the French. He blamed the French and the Southron governments for the death of his father in the War of 1812 and for the Canadian Invasion killing tens of thousands of his countrymen. He was still largely unknown to most European at the time of the Congress of Vienna, but when he left everyone would remember him.


    Charles Goodyear
    The millionaire ranted for over an hour on July 5th, the first official day, over how the Republican Union had been abandoned by France and its allies and how 50%, if not more, of Canada should be theirs. Frederick Augustus, of Saxony and Warsaw, and Louis, of the Portuguese Confederation and Etruria, both stood up, along with their entire entourages, and booed him publicly. Goodyear had never been doubted or ridiculed to his face, and that face "looked red as a hot coal" and he turned and launched a brutal tirade of anti-Polish, anti-Eastern European, anti-Catholic, anti-Portuguese, and anti-Italian slurs, until Henry Clay of Virginia stood up calmly and told him to "calm down, you ignorant fool." Incensed, Goodyear stormed out and would not come back till the next day, leaving his job to Romney.

    Romney calmly discussed Canada with the other parties concerned, and agreed to drop all other claims to to the French Colony in exchange for Nova Scotia. Goodyear would allegedly slap Romney in the face and call him a gutless coward to his face the next day. Furious beyond words, Goodyear again came before the Congress and ripped up the yet-unsigned Treaty of Canada right before everyone. Napoleon sighed audibly and the aging Caesar lifted his hand. Finally, after another hour of Goodyear explaining about the death of his father and the feelings in America of complete and total betrayal, Napoleon invited him to a private room. There, for five hours, the two men bickered back and forth, with Romney and Ney simply watching from the sidelines. Crippled with economic problems, possible conflict in Europe, and rebellions in India, Napoleon finally agreed to a better treaty. The Union was to receive Prince Edward Island, Nova Scotia, disputed areas of Maine, New Brunswick, and the Ontario Peninsula, with its gem Toronto, for 20 million dollars. Romney couldn't believe the way Goodyear was getting away with such a steal. Acquiring the Ontario Peninsula meant cementing the Great Lakes under Union control. This also helped Goodyear on a personal level, as he owned half the shares in the Erie Lake Canal Company at this point. All the new trade traffic would directly enrich him.

    Goodyear stood, man-to-man, with Caesar Napoleon, a god among men. The grand restorer of the Roman Empire. And he treated him like a business rival. Napoleon actually developed a weird sort of respect for Goodyear, as he reminded him a bit of himself in his younger days, always pushing, pushing, pushing, usually more than he knew he would get, always seeking the offensive. Goodyear was obviously a racist crackpot of sorts, but it couldn't be said he wasn't successful and an amazingly relentless opponent. At last the men came back to the Congress and before the world announced the new Treaty of Canada and signed it immediately. This was a major victory for America, and Goodyear was about to become the greatest living American this side of the Prophet Burr. Andrew Jackson, Chancellor of the Confederation of the Carolinas, meanwhile, stormed out of the building and never returned, furious at the Union's growth. It was at that moment that relations between France and the Carolinas began to break down. The other Southron nations also weren't happy with France's concessions, but realized they couldn't do anything about it.

    A courier was immediately dispatched back to the Union to spread the news, and long before the Goodyear and Romney returned there were mass celebrations in the streets. For once, the Union had won. Thousands of people flooded into the streets, waving flags and singing patriotic songs. The wounds from 1812 were far from healed, but at last they were starting to get their way. At the same time, as news hit the new American Canadian holdings, a mass immigration began of people fearing American rule and the spread of the AFC Church. Among those who fled were thousands of people who had already fled America once, mostly on religious grounds.


    Celebrations in Boston over the Treaty of Canada (or the Goodyear Treaty as Americans called it)




    King Karl of Sweden Dies and Oscar I Speaks, July 7th-9th, 1826:
    Another of the most shocking episodes came on the third day of the Congress, on July 7th, when, following a heated exchange with Napoleon I, King Karl (Bernadotte) of Sweden dropped dead, struck down by a massive heart attack. The decision as to who would be speak for Sweden had to be made immediately. War was brewing between Sweden and Russia over the Finland Question, and with no leader, the matter might spiral out of control.

    The little-known Swedish heir, Oscar I, now an un-crowned king, stood up and shocked everyone in attendance with his excellent speeches and oratory. The fact that he was Napoleon's godson and that he, unlike Karl, loved and respected the French emperor did not hurt his case with many of France's puppets. Frederick Augustus, of Saxony and Warsaw, and Louis, of the Portuguese Confederation and Etruria, stood up, beckoned their entourages to do the same, and "openly wept like babies, as if their very thrones depended on this tearful action." The graying French Caesar nodded approvingly. The matter was then resolved so that Finland became independent and completely neutral. Trade was opened to both Russia and Sweden. If any country violated the treaty, they would have to answer to the Continental Alliance and the French Empire.

    The Spanish Bankruptcy Question, July 10th-15th:
    Certainly one of the most pressing and potentially devastating matters undertaken at Vienna was the growing instability of Spain, its colonial empire, and its economy. Despite the gift of a good 60% of Portugal from France during the Great Wars, it was still a backward, poor country, a mere shadow of its former glory and power. It was also rapidly losing control of its colonies, especially in the Americas.

    New Spain had experienced its first real revolt just five months prior to the World Congress, when 50 Spanish troops were killed by a mob of impoverished farmers in Cuba. Spain had responded with brutal and quick reprisal, killing citizens senselessly in what Napoleon I called "a needless massacre." The open revolt that followed was still raging at the time of the Congress, where Spain was told to get its act together on the island and stop murdering the Cubans or suffer dire consequences. Little did those in Vienna know that Cuba had declared independence five days before, or that Virginian and Carolinian ships were currently peacefully blockading Havana to prevent Spanish troops from landing.

    In the end, the Congress refused to help Spain if it suffered rebellions, as the nations feared a brutal, prolonged conflict in the jungles and deserts of North and South America helping an elderly empire no one really liked much anymore. It also didn't help that many nations were verging on declaring war with Spain since it wouldn't (and couldn't) pay back huge loans stretching back a century. Austria was the most angry about not being recompensed, and it showed when charismatic Prinz von Metternich personally threatened war. Napoleon barely defused the situation, but it was just prolonging the inevitable. Many were suspecting that multiple European countries would support insurrections in New Spain.


    The Partition of India, July 16th-28th, 1826:
    After the grueling talks over Spain's looming collapse, the Congress brought up the most touchy subject of the entire meeting: India. Napoleon and Ney declared that they had fought and bled for the conquest of India and the overthrow of the insane Paul Horace Greer, but they would be willing to "fairly" divide the spoils with their Allies.

    Everyone who was anyone got trading rights with the valuable subcontinent. France had set up its Asian capital in Bombay, and declared the entirety of "Bombay Principality," stretching from the Baluchistan border down to allied Mysore and including Kutch and Kathiawar, to be an official colony of France. The Sikh Empire nearby detested the return of a strong European military presence so near to their country when the French had first sent expeditions in in 1816. The British East India Company and its later incarnation as the Empire of India had suffered multiple horrific defeats at the hands of Maharaja Ranjit Singh, the fearsome Sikh emperor, after he had tried to expand his borders and faith into Rajputana.

    France had favored the Muslims of India for quite some time, and after the East India Company holdouts destroyed the Hindu Maratha Confederacy in 1818 (their last real conquest), the Muslims of the remnants of the Mughal Empire agreed to submit to being French clients in exchange for protection against the Sikhs and the destruction of the Greer-supporting holdouts still occupying Mughal territory. Thus, by the time of the World Congress, the Franco-Sikh War was well underway. Napoleon II, the baby-faced, half-Austrian 15 year-old "King of Rome," grandson of Kaiser Franz, had volunteered to serve in Bombay during the beginning of the invasion, and there he began to show he had inherited his father's knack for strategy as he worked on mapping under the supervision of the French generals stationed there. Everyone gathered in Vienna expected the Sikhs to crumble before long, and many also expected that Napoleon II would be proclaimed Prince of Bombay once he came of age in a few years time. At the Congress, Kaiser Franz was proud of his grandson and awarded him the title of Duke of Reichstadt, and a medallion representing his new title was gifted to Napoleon I, for him to present to the King of Rome upon his return.


    Napoleon II
    Bengal, the makeshift capital of the East India Company and later Empire of India, put up some stiff resistance to French rule, but in the end surrendered by the end of 1825. This effectively ended any real form of English-born rule in Asia for good. At the World Congress of Vienna, Bengal was proclaimed a principality, and Napoleon offered the position of prince to Ferdinand of Austria, Kaiser Franz's son and the future leader of Austria. Once it was made clear to the mentally deficient Ferdinand that he would not actually be living in Bengal, he accepted gladly. Thus, Bengal fell under Austrian domination and essentially became the first colonial administration of the Hapsburg Crown, though it would not have been able to function without French support. Austria did not even have a seaport, with goods from Bengal having to be brought in through France's Illyrian Provinces, sometimes known as Slovenia.


    Ferdinand, Prince of Bengal
    Goa, which had been under Portuguese rule for centuries until the East India Company seized it once British-allied Portugal collapsed in 1809 and was under Dutch occupation in 1826. At Vienna, Napoleon announced that the Portuguese Confederation was simply not economically capable of managing the far off colony. Instead, it was given to Friedrich Wilhelm III of Prussia and Hanover.

    Denmark-Norway, desiring to further its efforts in Africa and because they were no longer making a profit in places like Trankebar, on the south-east coast of India, sold all of its Indian possessions to France. The Danish East India Company thereby permanently closed its doors.

    The Mughal Empire was known to be failing in Hyderabad in the face of civil unrest and economic collapse. The French announced they were going in, and the Principality of Hyderabad was declared in Vienna on July 27th, 1826. French Prime Minister Michel Ney was awarded honorary title of Prince; as in Bombay, Napoleon and the French military and navy would make day-to-day decisions involved in the running of the colonies- the princely titles were strictly honorary. Another interesting locale was Bhutan, which had been under fire from every Western power in India for decades, and it finally submitted to being a satellite state of France in 1825. It's independence was "guaranteed" by France at Vienna.

    The Australia and Malay Archipelago Partition, July 29th-August 2nd, 1826:

    The Australian Question was raised by Louis Bonaparte of Holland, who had been in a joint occupation with France of the former British colony since the last year of the Great Wars of the Empire. Louis requested official borders be drawn up. France agreed, and the border disputes were promptly put to rest, though several days of negotiations went on over various nearby islands. The Andaman Islands, a British penal colony, were awarded to the Dutch. The Dutch had long desired a monopoly in the Maylay Archipelago, and the local Spanish outposts were almost all abandoned. Thus, Louis requested sovereignty over all of the Archipelago, including New Guinea. Napoleon feared a total monopoly of the Dutch in the area but did not have enough time or manpower to police the region itself. Instead, Australia was divided directly in half, with the western half going to France and the eastern half actually being reinstated under English rule, partly as kickback for helping to end the Empire of India. Dutch control over the Malay Archipelago was guaranteed, however, so this kept the Dutch from being too upset. Many Dutch were disappointed that total Dutch rule over Malaysia and Australia hadn't been achieved, but Australia was looked upon as a backwater; a large backwater, but a backwater none the less.

    The Finland Independence Question, August 3rd-15th, 1826:
    Since it had been agreed to by Russia and Sweden that Finland would be a neutral independent state, the matter of who would lead the frozen northern country lingered until August 3rd, when Napoleon presented the faithful, elderly, French lapdog Frederick Augustus I, King of Saxony and Grand Duke of Warsaw, as a candidate for the new Finnish Crown. Sweden, under the very cooperative Oscar, and Russia, under Napoleon's personal friend the Czar, agreed to this, and the "Fat Saxon" gained yet another hereditary title for himself and his daughter Maria Augusta. Prinz von Metternich called the Saxon monarch "a man with far more titles then he deserves. Three too many, in fact."


    Frederick Augustus I, King of Saxony, Grand Duke of Warsaw, Grand Prince of Finland


    Caesar Napoleon I, Age 57 (drawing by a Prussian diplomat at the World Congress)
    The first-ever World Congress continued until October 15th, 1826, though many leaders had gone home earlier. Almost all American diplomats, for instance, had left in early August (with the exceptions of Goodyear and Romney), shortly after Virginia had purchased Bermuda (which incensed Goodyear yet again). Goodyear continued to launch angry tirades almost daily, even when the leaders were discussing matters with little to no effect to the entire North American Continent. This scored him even more major popularity points back home when the young tycoon returned to a hero's welcome as the "Man who stood up to Europe." The Congress was, overall, a civil affair, despite Goodyear, the death of Karl of Sweden, and the fact that many countries being represented hated each other beyond reason. Plans were made to convene again in 1832, and Berlin was voted to be the site of the next Congress. Friedrich Wilhelm III left in an extremely good mood and was already jotting down notes on how he would shock the world with a splendorous militaristic circus of an event when his city's time came.

    The Congress had taken up a good part of Vienna, with the troops and guards and horses from all over the world needing food, shelter, and drink. The housing for most of the leaders was beyond extravagant, and the more powerful a leader was, the more luxurious and showy it became. The Czar of Russia, for instance, had a "camp" so large, that Austrian citizens said it was like "some sort of reenactment of life in downtown Moscow." Meanwhile, the hotel being rented by the Republican Union was set up by Goodyear to show off the latest technological gimmickry and machines from his workshop. The highlight was Napoleon, who always claimed to be a "scientist at heart," stopping by to see "Goodyear Enterprises' Vulcanized Rubber" and the latest version of the steam engine. One of Goodyear's aides gifted a small piece of "chicle candy," wrapped in a wax paper to Bonaparte. Unfortunately, Napoleon quickly bit his tongue and broke one of his fragile teeth, and he left the hotel in agony. Rumors flew that Goodyear had deliberately offered the "dirty Frog" a stale piece of the sweet, though the Republican Union ambassadors promptly denied this.

    Thus, the "Pax Napoleonica" continued. Until the North American and Spanish leaders returned home to find their countries on the brink of all-out war...



    MAP OF THE WORLD FOLLOWING THE 1826 CONGRESS OF VIENNA
     

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    CHAPTER 13
  • This reads exactly like the WMiT Classic... and then you get to the end for the radical departure.

    CHAPTER 13

    "Remember the Madison!"
    - Virginia President Henry Clay


    The R.V.S. James Madison explodes into a gigantic fireball in Havana Harbor on All Hallows' Eve, 1826, killing 296 sailors
    When Virginian President Henry Clay and his Vice President Daniel Webster were returning home from the Congress, they were met out at sea by allied Carolinian warships reporting that there was a quickly escalating crisis on and around the Spanish island of Cuba. Spain had been attempting to send in troops after Cuba had declared independence and overthrown much of the local garrison. Spain had already been internationally condemned by France and its allies for atrocities (even though the French were being brutal in India and Brazil) and was also infamous for never repaying loans it owed to a large number of powerful countries. In short, almost everyone wanted to punish Spain. Virginian, Carolinian, and some patrolling French and Georgian vessels had peacefully blockaded the island, and no shots had been fired as King Ferdinand's ships dropped anchor about a half-mile out to sea. The tension was high, however, as the enemy admirals stared each other down through spyglasses and waited to see if the other would try something first.

    Webster sailed on home to Virginia to make sure someone was in a position of authority there, but Clay insisted on personally taking charge of the situation and sailed to Cuba. Just hours after Clay arrived in Havana Harbor, the R.V.S. James Madison, a large, expensive, recently constructed frigate, blew sky-high extremely close to Clay's R.V.S. Newport News. Around 296 sailors lost their lives in the horrific explosion that also caused several other ships to catch fire, causing even more fatalities. No one was ever sure what sparked the explosion. Immediately, screaming about Spanish treachery, Captain Bartholomew Daniels of the R.V.S. Portsmouth ordered his guns to open up on the Spanish fleet. Clay stood on the deck of the Newport News, hands clasped behind his back, gazing at the unfolding battle. Virginia was now at war with Spain. Bellowing out "Remember the Madison!" Several thousand "For Old Virginia!" "For Georgia!" "God Bless Ol' Caroline!" and "Vive César!" cries came after as the Allied fleet broke formation and went full speed ahead at the shocked Spanish navy. Within minutes, the Spanish admiral and most of his officers were floating face down in the deep blue sea, and many of the Spanish sailors were disheartened and simply surrendering en masse. Clay's men whooped cheers of victory and most of the other nations' ships went after the fleeing Spanish, but the Virginians stayed and landed at the docks. They were met with a huge celebration. The locals began acting like Clay was a god of liberty as they raised him and his men on their shoulders and carried them to the Colonial Administration Office. In front of the building where over two hundred surrendered and starving Spanish troops begging for mercy. The Revolucion in Cuba had succeeded.

    However, the heroes began to outstay their welcome. At Christmas Time, thousands of Virginian troops landed on Cuba and the whole "Cuban nation" began to look a whole lot like a Virginian colony. This was deliberate; Clay had drawn up a plan with Webster to gradually ease the island republic from its independence ("as independence for such a place is not tenable in the long run"), and make it an occupied puppet state. With the exception of Bermuda, Virginia had no colonies or territories, but now they found themselves masters of the Grand Prize of the Gulf. This incensed CoCaro Chancellor Andrew Jackson, who thought it a back-stab to go behind the other Sothron nations' backs an magnanimously take Cuba as a Virginian colony, if not officially. Jackson had been seething since the Treaty of Canada at the Congress of Vienna, and at this point he further distanced himself of Virginia and France. Maryland was opinionated about Virginia's acquisition, but Georgia was also upset that they didn't at least discuss taking Cuba before just outright conquering it.​


    Flag of the Republic of Cuba
    When the news reached Europe, everyone blamed Spain for the "act of aggression" and breaching of the Pax Napoleonica. King Ferdinand VII was already a hated figure, and many countries finally wanted to do away with his entire rule and give it to someone more sane and capable while also doing away with his backwards feudalism and Inquisition tactics. Austria in particular was still seething over unpaid Spanish debts, and Kaiser Franz seemed more than happy with the idea of an Allied Invasion to take Madrid and exile Ferdinand. Caesar Napoleon approved of this plan, and in April of 1827, French troops stationed in Andorra (of which Napoleon was king) brutally crushed the under-prepared Spanish border garrison and trekked further southwards into the impoverished Iberian country. Austrian troops were sent in not long afterward, followed by soldiers from the German Confederation, Prussia, Bavaria, and other Central European countries. Dutch, Irish, and a few Scottish ships sailed in and reinforced the Portuguese Confederation and the Free City of Lisbon. A small Spanish attack at Corunna was was brutally crushed by the Dutch soon after.

    Ferdinand's court was flying into a panic. Just a French invasion would have been bad enough, but in the face of a united European assault, it seemed only a matter of time before the imminent and total defeat.


    Spanish militia horsemen clash with Andorran troops


    Spanish infantry are scythed down by Napoleon's lancers at Vitoria

    Spain's economy went directly down the abyss of no return. Revolts were widespread in New Spain. "Gran Colombia" had just declared independence under General Simon Bolivar and was being guarded by the French Navy. Mexico was on the verge of being "liberated" by French Louisiana and the Republic of Georgia. Spain's side of Hispaniola was about to crumble to an assault from French Haiti. Cuba was lost. The Dutch were moving in on the Philippines, the prized Gateway to the Orient. Gibraltar was seized by France, making the Mediterranean a French lake. The Spanish Army had captured a large portion of the southern part of the Portuguese Confederation, but had to abandon it to return to Madrid to build up defenses there. Louis of the Confederation and Etruria was being told that the pre-1809 borders of Portugal, with the exception of Lisbon (which would remain French), would be restored or even enlarged, a simply terrifying thought to any Spaniard. And the worst thing was that Napoleon seemed to be thinking about a grand unification of the French and Spanish empires, likely in the form of placing himself or a relative, possibly the King of Rome, on the throne. The King of Rome was half-Austrian, and making him monarch of Spain would solidify Southern Europe firmly on the French bloc, maybe even forever.

    It was with these thoughts that King Ferdinand retired to his chambers in Madrid on June 8, 1827. That night, he shot himself in the face with the flintlock pistol that always sat in the top drawer of his dresser. The Last King of Spain was dead.

    Now, back in North America, a further breakdown of relations between the Confederation of the Carolinas was occurring. Henry Clay had tried to assure Jackson that Virginian efforts in Cuba were merely temporary "to make Cuba safe for democracy." Jackson had none of it and asked the Virginian troops to leave Cuba. Clay refused. Tensions in the Old South were escalating very quickly. Jackson threatened to have his navy anchored in the Virgin Islands Confederacy blockade Cuba, just as had been done with Spain. Clay was furious, and ordered all but three of the thirty personnel at the Carolinian embassy in Richmond be expelled. Jackson, in turn, expelled all but one Virginian diplomat. Ol' Hickory addressed the Confederation House of Citizens on July 1, 1827:

    "All this century we have been girding up our strength to face down the Yankee bastards. I never dreamed we might get double-crossed by Virginia. They shall leave Cuba or I will march north and hang Henry Clay from the highest gallows in Richmond. And then I'll ship his right hand to Caesar, and then maybe I'll send Daniel Webster in a box as a present for the Prince of Bombay. The Carolinas bow to no marauder or his French overlord, and I'll be dogged and damned if I let Virginian troops stand guard in Havana Harbor and tell me they ain't colonizing the place! Lot of damn good this Congress of Vienna did. A ravenous den of political vipers and thieves puttin' on their smiles and fancy uniforms and all the while ready to stab you right in the back, that is what it really was. Shove that Pax up Napoleon's ass. I will stand no more, gentlemen of the House. The fair Carolinas answer to no one but God almighty!"

    The Confederation House of Citizens broke into thunderous applause.


    Chancellor Andrew Jackson
     
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    CHAPTER 14
  • CHAPTER 14
    OLD HICKORY TAKES A LITTLE TRIP
    andrewjackson-e1420663263542.png

    The Spanish Empire was collapsing. In Mexico, a new dictator was uniting the warring factions under his control. But meanwhile, the situation in the Southron lands was coming to a head in August of 1827. Virginian President Henry Clay was refusing to back down in Cuba and claimed he was doing his "neighborly duty" by "defending Cuba in its time of need." Once more, on August 12, Chancellor Jackson asked President Clay to withdraw his troops and bring about "a negotiated international occupation force until the time at which Cuba is ready to enter the circle of sovereign Southron republics."

    This whole situation was a nightmare for Caesar Napoleon. He was now not only dealing with the collapse of the entire Spanish Empire and trying to keep an eye on every single new nation popping up, including the upstart "Mexican Napoleon" trying to build an empire in Mexico, but now having to settle a dispute between formerly good and loyal allies. Now, while sending troops to South and Central America and Hispaniola, he worried that they would have to pass through a war-torn Gulf. This was the last thing he wanted, and French envoys in Charlotte appeared before Chancellor Jackson, Colonel Calhoun, and the House of Citizens, begging Jackson to stand down.

    "Gentlemen of the Carolinas, remember your kinship! Remember the Old South! Remember how you are brothers. Your fathers fought the Revolution, with France's help. In the memory of Lafayette, we implore you to stand down!"


    -Ambassador Manuel Mallette

    Jackson, in turn, rose and spoke to the ambassadors:

    "Gentlemen of France, I understand our peoples fought alongside one another in the past. I understand you do not want to see blows come between us. But I fear our ancient friendship is over, a relic of the past. France perverted international justice by giving the damnyankees Canadian dirt, and Virginia is perverting international justice by colonizing the Republic of Cuba without any consultation of its allies. This problem is at its zenith, and I expect the only way down is war. The Carolinas do not seek war with France. Though the Canadian Folly was not a healthy result for the Confederation, we do not feel any need to combat France in any way. In the event of war, we will respect French sovereignty and trade just as before, but any ships carrying Virginian supplies or cargo may be seized as we see fit. This is an unfortunate situation which the fair lands of our Confederation did not ask. I have personally begged the President of Virginia to remove his troops from Cuba. He has refused. If there is not some confirmation that Virginia is withdrawing those same troops by September, the Carolinas and the Republic of Virginia are at war. God help us all, and may God bless our fair lands."


    Disheartened, the French envoys left. All present knew Clay wasn't going to stand down now and look weak. Jackson was too power-hungry a man to let have his way in such affairs. If given an inch, he would take a mile and soon start bossing Virginia around in all matters, at least the politicians in Richmond said.

    Fervor in the CoCaro was palpable, and flags adorned every porch. Thousands of men from the cities and the far backwoods rushed to the colors of the moon and stars, ready for war. The people loved Jackson, and saw Virginia failing to back down as a personal slight against their own honor and the honor of their nation. In town squares, shako-wearing officers, resplendent in their finest uniforms, recruited off the streets. Drummers beat the tunes of ancient battle hymns and the sound of horses trotting on cobblestones rang loud and clear. It was a nation on the brink of war.

    Meanwhile, in Virginia, the people also flocked to the colors, though many were wary of going to war with the CoCaro when they shared a border with the Republican Union. Henry Clay was a very popular president, but many feared the whole Cuba ordeal was becoming a fiasco. If Virginia went to war with Jackson, Cuba would almost certainly rebel, forcing them to fight a two-front war. Even worse, Georgia, with its large Caribbean holdings, was refusing to take a side and asked both Clay and Jackson to respect their neutrality. If not for the very Cuban holdings they were fighting over, Virginia would likely win handily. But having to supply men and ships to Cuba would mean a two-front war, one less likely to end in a favorable result. In the end, many just said their prayers and readied their muskets for the defense of Old Virginia.


    Carolinian troops circa 1827


    Virginian troops circa 1827

    Jackson wasn't a stupid man, and knew full-well that by creating a two-front war, he might be able to rapidly thrust for Richmond. If he even laid siege to Richmond he knew Virginia would ask for terms. He would probably accept them, but a part of him really did want to storm Richmond and hang Henry Clay. He also knew his people would follow him to the death, following his orders unblinkingly and without hesitation. At last, September dawned, and the Virginian troops remained in Cuba. On September 5, 1827, the Confederation of the Carolinas declared war upon the Republic of Virginia.

    Immediately, as soon as the declaration of war was read to the men, 10,000 well-trained but green Carolinian troops crossed the border from Murfreesboro, North Carolina, to assault Virginian static fortifications at Boykins, Virginia. Out west, skirmishers and light cavalry crossed from the greater Nashville region of West Carolina to make a drive at Bowling Green. Their job was not to capture Bowling Green, but to harass the Virginian army there and to make them think a two-pronged attack was coming. In reality, Kentucky was a backwater to Jackson. He wanted Richmond.

    When the armies of Virginia and the Confederation met for the first time at Boykins, the two sides faced each other over an open field, in the timeless European way. Trumpets blared, drums were beating, and men cheered as officers galloped past, waving their bicornes and wide-brimmed hats in the air. Both sides stared each other down. Artillery dotted the field, surrounded by crude stakes to deter cavalry attacks. The commanding officers of the Virginian Army, led by General Winfield Scott, trotted out to the Carolinian ranks under a flag of truce. The Carolinian commander, General Horatio Fox, accepted their truce and met peacefully. After a brief conversation and a shot of whiskey all around, Scott and his officers returned to their lines.

    With a voice like raspy thunder, Scott bellowed to his men, "Fix bayonets! The Gentlemen of the Army will advance and face the enemy! You same gentlemen are expected to hold your ground. C'mon boys! For Old Virginia!" Hooting and hollering, drums beating, the gray-uniformed troops of the Virginian army marched ahead.

    The Confederation's lines stood motionless, a palpable fear hung over the greener recruits. The older troops stood stoic, expressionless. Finally, General Fox raised his sword in the air and instructed his men, "Men of the Confederation! Fix bayonets and prepare for volley fire! God speed!" The hordes of green and blue packed together tightly and readied to fire. The neatly-uniformed gray Virginian troops kept marching ahead, white plumes resplendent, buckles glistening in the sun. Finally, the orders came.

    Fire!

    Gray soldiers fell.

    Fire!

    More.

    Fire!

    Smoke filled the battlefield.

    Reload!

    As the cloud of gunpowder cleared in the light noontime breeze, the Carolinians could see the carnage they had inflicted. Dozens of Virginian troops lay slain. But the main force was getting very close and was still in one piece. Just then, the Virginian field pieces opened up a vicious cannonade. Shells landed directly on the Carolinian ranks, mercilessly ripping through the men like pieces of meat. The Virginia Military Institute trained its gunners well. Next, the Virginian Army opened fire with a full musket volley. As the Carolinians desperately reloaded and withstood the artillery blasts, their numbers were rapidly dwindling as the Virginian bullets shredded through them.

    Fox himself rode up to the front ranks as he could see morale was plummeting. Many of these soldiers were merely boys who idolized Chancellor Jackson. They wanted to be heroes and bring glory to his name and that of their country. But as Fox looked around, he saw the terrified faces of frightened children. One lad walked leisurely in front of him, his arm gone from a cannonball and eyes dilated. Still others he could see falling back, deserting the fight. The Virginians opened up another volley, deadlier than before. A shell whizzed overhead, bursting in the sunshine, sending shrapnel raining down and killing one of his best officers. It was a massacre. Fox was ashamed, but he knew he would have no choice but to retreat in the face of such well-trained enemy troops. They stood no chance. Even more troops were scurrying away from the fight. Virginian cavalry were rapidly approaching as well, undoubtedly about to make an attempt at cutting his line in two. This was it, he thought, retreat was the only option.

    A voice rang out through the din of battle. A voice so distinct and obnoxiously Southron it couldn't have belonged to anyone else.

    "C'mon, boys! The Moon and Stars don't run! SEND 'EM HELL!"

    It couldn't be. But it was. Chancellor Jackson himself was bringing up the rear with his most loyal cavalry detachment, the Confederation Guard. Banners streaming, the leader of the Confederation charged forward, sword and pistol in each hand, flanked by 200 Guardsmen. They smashed in on the Virginians' left flank, catching them completely by surprise and cutting them down like straws. Screams of horror carried through the Virginian ranks. "Old Hickory was come up from Hell to kill Virginians." The dictator was here to carry the day or die trying.


    Winfield Scott tries to rally his retreating troops at the Battle of Boykins

    Meanwhile, in the Carolinian ranks, morale suddenly soared. Just seeing Jackson charge into the fray was enough for some to come sprinting back to the ranks. Some men who had deserted earlier sneakily made their way around the battlefield and came up behind the Virginian artillery fieldworks and captured them. Now, they turned the guns on the Virginians' backs. In the first barrage the Virginian cavalry, who were attempting to stop Jackson' assault on the left flank, were completely exposed and annihilated by shrapnel shells. As their cavalry was decimated, the Virginian infantry started to falter. Encouraged even more, the young boys in blue and green gave them hell, thrusting with bayonets and beating with clubs and swords.

    At last, the Virginians had had all they could stomach and turned and ran, their main battleflag falling on the field. General Fox captured the flag and brought it before Jackson. Now, with both his own nation's banner and the Virginians' flying high overhead, Jackson gave chase, cutting down Virginian troops all the way to Emporia. For miles, a stream of terrorized men in gray uniforms felt cold steel. It was a total rout.

    As night fell, the Confederation finally stopped their pursuit and pitched camp. Jackson rode in front of his battered and bruised troops, waving his bloody sword in the air. Cheers filled the air. Men who had thought all was lost just hours earlier now had more faith than ever in their cause.

    "Men! You have fought gallantly here today! Every citizen makes his country's honor his own, and cherishes it not only as precious but as sacred. He is willing to risk his life in its defense. Gentlemen, I say to you I am willing! Are the gentlemen of the Confederation willing, by damn?"

    Lifting their guns and swords in the air, a chorus of demonic screeches arose from the young troops.

    "Today we defeated a force twice our size, and twice as well equipped and trained. Let's get some rest, my boys. For we have a war ahead of us. But something else lies ahead of us, too. Eternal glory and a bloody damn city by the name of Richmond!"

    "HANG HENRY CLAY! HANG HENRY CLAY!" was the chant that now echoed through the army. General Fox, his face and uniform smeared in blood, found himself chanting along...


    In 1827 we took a little trip
    Along with Chancellor Jackson into the Empire of Virginia
    We took a little bacon and we took a little beans
    And we beat the bloody Virginians all across America

    We fired our guns and the Virginians kept a-comin'
    There wasn't nigh as many as there was a while ago
    The Chancellor rode in and they began to runnin'
    And we kept marchin' up north to tell Henry Clay hello

    We looked across Boykins and we see the Virginians come
    And there must have been a hundred of 'em beatin' on the drum
    They stepped so high and they made their bugles ring
    We stood 'neath the Moon and Stars and didn't say a thing

    We fired our guns and the Virginians kept a-comin'
    There wasn't nigh as many as there was a while ago
    We fired once more and they began to runnin'
    And we went marchin' north to lay Clay low

    Old Hickory rode in and took 'em by surprise
    A charge so glorious we could scarce believe our eyes
    Twas then we could see we had won the day and well
    we drew our swords and buckknives and sent 'em all to Hell

    Yeah they ran through the briers and they ran through the brambles
    And they ran through the bushes where a rabbit couldn't run
    They ran so fast that the hounds couldn't catch 'em
    Now on to Richmond to get this war done

    -Popular song of the Confederation during the Virginian-Carolinian War
     
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    CHAPTER 15
  • CHAPTER 15
    COLLAPSE OF NEW SPAIN AND RISE THE MEXICAN EMPIRE


    As the Caribbean became a theater of war and Spain collapsed into the dustbin of history, Mexico was in the midst of a civil war. By the dawn of 1828, however, it stood united under a single man who held Napoleon up as his role-model.

    In late 1827, the Mexicans finally overthrew the skeleton crew Spanish army holding the colony down. Ferdinand had been dead for several months, and news had reached New Spain long ago that the young King of Rome was preparing to seize the Spanish Throne. This was the opportune moment for a new independent government to rule in Mexico and join the North American circle of nations. The Mexican Napoleon crushed all of his enemies and prepared to take absolute power. Radicals were moving in from Gran Colombia, and they had already established the "Mexican Republic of Panama" with the expressed purpose of having it being the cornerstone for a new Mexican democratic nation. Georgian and French troops were moving in from New Orleans and establishing camps in Texas. The militarists in Georgia still held high the name of Archibald Bulloch, their first Prime Minister, and Mexico's fear was growing that they seemed to be pondering an all-out French-backed invasion to add more territory to their own little "empire." The Mexicans urged Texas to resist peacefully, and it left the Georgians in no position to "give aide" or "militarily assist" the "very independent" Mexico. In other words, Georgia couldn't pull the same trick Virginia had in Cuba. Instead, once the newly forming Mexico City government told the easterners to get out, they had no choice but to do so or look like total aggressors. This entire Mexican conflict was why Georgia stayed neutral during the Cuba conflict, as trying to fight the Carolinas while also dealing with an unstable expansionist Mexico was a recipe for disaster. Georgia had expanded industry and was far more self-sufficient than the colonial Old South, of course, but a two-front war was exactly what was dragging Virginia down at this same time period.

    The leader of the Mexican revolutionaries was Agustín Cosme Damián de Iturbide y Arámburu, better known simply as Iturbide, and he possessed the mind of an absolute genius. He rallied the ad-hoc army he had assembled, acquired uniforms for the elites, and marched them north to the Louisiana border and held a formal ceremony at the departure of the French and Georgian "allies," to send a message they were not welcome to return.

    Iturbide then proceeded to systematically purge his government of all who opposed him, which he cheerfully called "starting out on the right foot." The next move after that was to formally absorb Panama into the "Confederated Empire of Mexico." In mid-1828, he sent troops to fight with the Gran Colombians in South America, in an attempt to finally rid the two continents of Spanish rule forever. It would become a bloody affair, lasting till 1831. The Spanish in South America were being reinforced by the fleeing Spanish loyalists in Europe who desperately wanted to continue Bourbon rule in exile, and they made the going much tougher for the liberators. France at first helped in Peru against their common Spanish enemy, striking out from French-held Brazil, but soon after ceased doing so, becoming increasingly wary of Iturbide's intentions and were growing wary of some sort of domino-effect revolution breaking out in Brazil.

    In late 1828, Iturbide finally made it known that he was now the Emperor, absolute in power, of all Mexico. He proclaimed that his empire stretched from Texas in the east, to Panama in the south, to southern California to the west. France was horrified, and immediately officially annexed more western territory onto Louisiana, hoping to eventually head off the Mexican Napoleon on the route to the Pacific.


    Flag of the Confederated Empire of Mexico
    Iturbide faced a civil war in Texas in 1830, led by a local militia leader known simply by the commoners as "Santa Anna." Several violent confrontations occurred, with many Santa Anna supporters being killed by government troops. Iturbide "crossed the aisle" in a gesture of "good will and patriotic camaraderie" and offered to give Texas more local authority and jurisdiction, as well as officially renaming the country as "the Confederated Empire of Mexico and Texas." Texas refused, and in a bloody last stand at an abandoned Catholic mission, Santa Anna's largest force was brutally overwhelmed and massacred by Iturbide's forces. The rebel leader barely escaped with his life.

    Georgia finally intervened and sent troops into Texas once again, followed by a declaration of war on the Mexican Empire. France followed this lead, and declared Iturbide a problem that had to be solved. Santa Anna rallied his men once more under his Bloody Arm banner and Allied and Texan troops liberated Texas from Mexican rule on November 14, 1830. Santa Anna was installed as President of the Democratic Republic of Texas.


    Flag of the Democratic Republic of Texas


    President Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna of Texas in full dress uniform

    Mexico was furious, and Iturbide demanded vengeance. His army attacked once more, torching towns along the Texas-Mexico border. Next, skirmishers and Native Americans who had signed up under his cause went north into Louisiana, pillaging and burning frontier towns and taking the scalps of French settlers. It was then that France noticed a disturbing fact: many of the settlers in the Louisiana colony were Union citizens, there illegally staking claims and homesteading. In fact, in the northern areas, Yankees outnumbered French 3-to-1. This was very, very upsetting to Napoleon and he wanted to remove them, but the war with Mexico simply needed more attention. But the insult to French sovereignty would not be forgotten. Interestingly enough, American settlers created militias and went to war as well with Mexico. Perhaps the Papist they knew was better than the Papist they didn't know (and that was talking scalps; that probably didn't help either). These American settlers, known by most as the "Yankee Cowboys" had built entire towns right under the French Empire's nose. In fact, the first AFC Church built outside of Union land went up in Praise, North Dakota. A town France didn't even know existed until troops from Canada were passing through and thought they had crossed into Michigania by accident.

    Down in war-torn South America, Peru had declared independence in its capital of Lima. Though a general named Antonio Jose Estevez had tried to initially declare himself prince (as well as an ally of Iturbide), the people rejected and exiled him and drew up a republican system of government, based largely on Georgia. It welcomed Georgian legal advisers to come in and help write the new constitution. The young republic then looked inward and forward to a hopefully peaceful future. Chile declared itself independent in 1831, a year after Peru, and based itself on similar ideas and beliefs. However, once a series of Mexican-backed dictators rose and were overthrown in a series of brutal revolts, the smoldering ash-heap of a country lost its independence to Peru, who finally brought in rule of law and stable leadership. The last Mexican troops withdrew as the most recent government was imprisoned, thus ending Iturbide's "Wars of Liberation."

    In Argentina, the French had taken over in 1828-1829, and all attempts at independence were quashed utterly, ending in the execution by guillotine of rebel leader José de San Martín. The French then made Argentina a colonial administration, and turned it into just another disparate part of the monstrously bloated French Empire.

    The Georgian Army was stretched thin, as they kept a large amount of troops home in case hostilities broke out with the Carolinas. Napoleon was still dealing with revolts in India that were consuming all his best resources, as well as struggling to kill nascent Mexican-backed marauders in the frontiers of Louisiana. Also at this time, the Plains Indians declared a war upon European settlers, starting up the last big phase of the Conquering of the West. Occupying the massive backwater of Mexico permanently was about the last thing Napoleon wanted to do, and he just wanted Iturbide gone. For now, however, Iturbide remained, constantly harassing Louisiana and Texas and constantly eating up man-power. Peace would not come for years.
     
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    CHAPTER 16
  • CHAPTER 16
    THE LONG GRAY ROUT


    Carolinian troops seize a redoubt during the Siege of Norfolk

    It was September 20, 1827, and Chancellor Jackson was tearing his way up the entirety of the Virginian heartland. Out west, his troops were just holding the line still and harassing Virginian Kentucky, but back east, the Virginian Republican Army had been in a total "long gray rout" since the Battle of Boykins. The famous Virginia Military Institute had been completely humiliated. Winfield Scott finally managed to drag his forces together and housed them in Richmond to resupply.

    Without Norfolk's shipyards, Cuban holdings would certainly fall apart, as well as Virginian naval strength in general. Jackson knew this and made his men form a battle line just barely thick enough across southern Virginia that the Virginians couldn't break through into the Carolinas. Meanwhile, he took most of his soldiers, especially the "Bloody Boys of Boykins," now his most ardent followers, and created siege works outside of Norfolk. By early October, his big guns were finally brought in: giant Prussian-made siege mortars. With shells lobbing overhead on a now constant basis, the defenders' morale began to plummet. The formerly pristine gray and white uniforms of the VMI cadets began to turn brown, black, and red. The population inside the city lived in constant fear that any second one of Old Hickory's shells would kill them in an instant.

    Outside the city, Jackson would regularly ride with his officers, resplendent in their high-collared blue uniforms and bicornes and always raising morale. The defendants would look out, sometimes taking pot-shots, but always missing the Chancellor. Every day, more and more of the city fell to ruin, and Jackson would ride again to seek out where to press the attack. His sappers were trying to mine under the city's defenses, but for the most part the city held strong. But even the strongest can only take so much.

    On November 1, 1827, Jackson grew sick of playing games. He ordered his full force of artillery to open fire, knowing full-well how many civilians would die in an all-out shelling. He didn't care, he just wanted to get the siege over with before winter truly set in and ruined the momentum of the offensive. At 2 o'clock in the afternoon of that day, every field piece in the siege works opened up. The roar of the guns was deafening, and the sound of bone-chilling screams and collapsing structures followed. Buildings collapsed like houses of cards. Artillery fire from inside the town also fired back as the determined defenders refused to give up. Jackson was quoted as telling his officers, "Hard pounding, gentlemen. Let's see who pounds the longest."


    One of the many attempts by the Confederation to breach the walls of Norfolk, Virginia

    Just as Jackson and his men were prepared to storm the gates of the city for the final time, the completely unexpected happened. General Winfield Scott and 9,000 Virginian troops came rushing over the nearby hills and artillery blasts from that same direction started to come down on the Carolinians. Jackson himself was thrown from his horse, shrapnel through his leg. Stubborn and determined, he refused to be removed from the field of battle. Instead, he got on another horse, wrapped a scarf around his bleeding, shattered leg for a tourniquet, and drew his sword. He rode up and down the siege camp, rallying the men. Some 15,000 men of the Carolinas were shocked and terrified as the substantial Virginian force came charging up their rear. Quickly turning to face this new enemy, they formed infantry squares in the camp as 800 men of the Virginia Cavalry bore down on them, breastplates shining in the sun and horsehair helmets more than a little similar to the famous French cuirassiers. As the horsesoldiers came down upon them, led by Major Winston P. Henry, the men frantically held their ground. The heavy cavalry absolutely tore into the under-prepared Carolinians, inflicting mass casualties.

    Jackson, however, was a man of such a sole focus that defeating Virginia was consuming his entire body and mind. He quickly dispatched orders for his "Bloody Brigade," the most valiant survivors of the Battle of Boykins, to reinforce the center of his army, with his personal standard as Chancellor leading the way. Moralizing the still mostly-green young troops with their presence, the center held, repulsing the cavalry. The Virginian horsesoldiers went scurrying back to their infantry ranks, which were mostly still holding.

    Making up the core of Scott's infantry forces was the 3rd Irish Brigade, the Emerald Boys, led by Brigadier General Eustace O'Connor. The job of these hearty Celtic troops was to take what damage the cavalry had inflicted and put a finger in the wound which Scott's 15th VMI Cadet Regiment could follow up with a death blow and start routing the Carolinians back to from whence they came. With the band striking up "Fight For Uncle Henry," green banners waving, 4,000 Irish expatriates went forward. Jackson personally was at the exact spot they were heading, still bleeding profusely but holding his army together.

    What followed was a massacre on both sides. The Emerald Boys fired volley after volley, ravaging the Carolinian ranks as the 15th VMI Cadets were bringing up the rear, still some distance behind. Seeing that his army couldn't take much more of this slaughter, Jackson ordered his Bloody Brigade on a direct charge at the Irishmen, taking withering musket fire the entire way. The fields were strewn with campground and siege equipment, and it was hard to keep the momentum going, but finally they crashed head-on into the Irishmen and engaged in vicious hand-to-hand combat. The green coats of the Carolinians and the the grays and blues of the Virginians became red with blood, and bodies dropped like flies. Just then, one of the powder supply wagons for the Carolinian camp was hit by a stray bullet and exploded in a massive fireball. Irish troops were all around it when it went off, sending splinters and shrapnel and fire absolutely everywhere. The blood-curdling shrieks of soldiers set on fire filled the air, even over the sounds of the guns. Dozens of men went down as the explosion caused a chain reaction detonation through that portion of the siegeworks. Jackson himself now led a cavalry charge through the flames, appearing to the confused and dazed Irish as riders from their darkest nightmares.

    Some of the Irish fell back, their spirits broken and getting cut down like animals by the now-encouraged Carolinians. As Scott charged forward himself to try, once more, to rally his troops in the face of Jackson advancing, he saw General O'Connor himself, sword in the air, flintlock pistol in the other hand, walking behind his main body of troops, trying to keep them from shattering.

    "Turn them around, dammit! Get your Irish sumbitches back into line or I'll hang 'em all!" bellowed an irate Winfield Scott.

    O'Connor, his uniform now half-burnt (a private had had to snuff flames out) and sporting a fresh bullet hole through his bicorne, screamed back, "My men are terrified of Jackson, sir! We have to fall back to behind Thorpe's Hill and regroup!"

    Scott threw his riding gloves on the ground in disgust. "Dammit, man! I order you to get your potato-grubbing farmboys back into formation!" Right after those words left his mouth, Scott was struck by a stray bullet in the shoulder, sending him flying backwards off his black horse. With a thud, he hit the ground and was out like a light. O'Connor, now with no real superior officer, realized he had to take command. As his men saw Scott laying motionless on the ground, morale plummeted even lower. At last, he ordered the bugler to blow retreat. O'Connor threw Scott over his shoulder and the Irish Brigade began sprinting back to the hill they had just advanced from. The VMI Cadets were just now arriving behind them, bayonets bristling, uniforms unstained and pants yet white, and the cries of "Old Virginia forever!" were strong at first. But as the Irish tide broke upon Jackson's shore and the Emerald Boys fled for their lives, the Cadets' esprit de corps fell drastically. Before long, the entire army was put in flight.

    As the slaughter continued into the night, Jackson returned to his camp to once again commence heavy shelling of the city. The ordinance continued to burst all through the night, sending hundreds inside to their doom. The whole of Newport News was ablaze. The Southron capital of commerce was burning. Finally, early the next morning, a white flag of surrender was raised over the main gate of the city. Jackson, now patched up from his wounds but unable to walk, rode with his command to accept the Surrender of Norfolk. Virginia's finest port was no more. Numerous ships of the Virginian Navy were burned at the docks and widespread looting was common. Over 1,000 civilians were killed in the bombardment, something which Virginia would never forgive nor forget.

    In the west, this entire time was spent with Virginian General Rumford Pickens decisively whipping two Carolinian armies from the field and any day he was expected to break through the thin Carolinian line and charge into the Confederation. Jackson now knew he had to hurry, else watch his forces get stuck in enemy territory with no means of support or resupply. He had to marshal his exhausted army and march upon Richmond. Also brewing was the first ever North American slave revolt and the entrance of the Republic of Maryland (unofficially) into the war...
     
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    CHAPTER 17
  • CHAPTER 17
    CHRISTMAS, SOUTHRON-STYLE

    Virginian troops try to keep warm during the harsh winter of 1827

    Following the surrender of Norfolk, Jackson and his men burned most of the city to the ground, trying to forever stunt Virginian economic and naval strength. The international community condemned the Carolinas and Jackson personally for "using barbarous tactics" on the civilian population of Virginia's industrial heartland. Meanwhile, out east, General Rumford Pickens was marching south with 20,000 volunteers to sack the Carolinas. He had broken through Confederation General Howard Willis's "Thin Green Line" that held back invaders. The Carolinian line was collapsing in on itself and Pickens was beginning his long march to Charlotte.

    Jackson received news that he was cut off from reinforcements on November 10, just a few days after the burning of Norfolk. Angry and afraid his grand plan would fall apart, he took his men and began a march toward Richmond. After a series of small battles resulted in Virginian retreats, morale was still high, but a growing sense of doubt was sweeping through the ranks. They had managed to loot supplies in Norfolk, but they needed to end the war here and now to keep a functioning fighting force. On November 22, Jackson's scouts spotted Richmond, "that most insidious city," on the horizon. The bad news was that it had just been reinforced by the crimson-coated Maryland Volunteer Legion, meaning Maryland had unofficially entered the war. Jackson now saw he had no chance to take the capital without going back south, finding and crushing Pickens and mustering a new army, and then march all the way back, likely in the dead of winter. Virginia had far more manpower to draw from, and as winter set in the Republic was doing everything it could to round up fresh men before the snows arrived.

    Jackson announced to his troops on the night of November 23, "My boys, my sons... Maryland, the treacherous beast that she is, has sent down a Legion to defend Richmond. They're dug-in and ready for action. As it stands, sending you up against their fortifications would be like sending you into a meatgrinder. I won't do that."

    A young soldier, his leg wrapped up in bandages and a patch over a recently-lost eye yelled out, "We can do it, Chancellor! We can whup 'em! Just like we always have!" A wild chorus of cheers rose up from the loyal troops.

    Jackson waved his hand and smiled weakly, his thing lips peeling back over his inhumanly white teeth. The scar from a British officer during the Revolutionary War still was prominent on the side of his face. His gray hair was blowing in the cold November wind. His wounded leg was now in a splint, and he leaned on his horse for support. "I'm sure we can whup 'em, soldier. I know we can. But we wouldn't have enough men left to actually occupy the city or root all the militia bastards out that I'm sure are waiting inside. Also, the Virginian General Pickens has broken through our defensive lines to the south, and we need to march back and exterminate him before he besieges our fair capital. We have no choice, boys. We're not retreating or giving up, we're marching back south to kill that bastard Pickens before he burns down our homes! We start tomorrow, boys! We're going home."

    Jackson was not lying. At five o'clock the next morning, his army was on the move again, marching back from exactly where they had come from. Remnants of the Thin Green Line joined them on the way, seeking revenge on Pickens and wanting to redeem themselves to Jackson. Finally, the scouts brought news that Pickens was besieging the city of Greensboro, North Carolina, not that far from the Confederation capital. Jackson knew that Pickens had 20,000 men and he had only about 13,000, but he knew most of the 20,000 were untrained conscripts and militia, so he was determined to break the siege. He dispatched riders all over the state to muster up as many men as they could. 2,000 answered the call in time. As he waited, Jackson's men dug trenchworks. So there was now a siege of a siege, one could say.

    On December 15, Jackson and his 15,000 men began their first assault on Pickens' siege camp after an artillery bombardment. The fighting was brutal, and the snow that was coming down was not helping anyone. For two hours, the slaughter raged on. Confederation men advanced under a hail of musket fire across snowy fields, dropping like flies. They reached the Virginian trenches and were beaten back after lengthy hand-to-hand combat. Pulling out and crawling back into their own trenches, Jackson's men were exhausted and tired and cold. Then came the Republic's counter-assault, with 1,000 men pouring into the Confederation trenches. Bloody bayonets were the rule of the day before the Virginians themselves were repulsed and retreated. More cannons opened up, lighting up the night sky with bright and deadly flashes.

    Trying to feel each other out for weaknesses, a series of other smaller assaults were attempted by both sides, but eventually grew into a stalemate. A very unusually tough winter for the South had hit that year, and over a foot of snow had fallen. Men were freezing to death and frostbite was rampant. Jackson was still having problems with his leg, and infection was setting in. On December 20, his leg was amputated below the knee by his personal surgeon. With their Chancellor out of commission, the morale of the Confederation army reached an all time low.

    The command of the forces in Jackson's absence fell to General Ezekiel Jay Woodhouse. Knowing the end must come soon or the Confederation Army would collapse, he made plans for an offensive assault, the biggest of the war. On the morning of December 25, Christmas Day, Woodhouse addressed his men in the trenches.

    "My boys, I know I'm not Old Hickory, but he has put full faith in me to execute this war and bring about total victory. I know things look grim. I know the situation looks almost impossible. But we have several things in our favor. We have God, our Heavenly Father, who looks after us and our nation this and every day. We have our brothers in arms. The soldier standing next to you. In these short months we have been at war, I never have been more proud to serve alongside such a sorry lot of wonderful Southron bastards in all my days, and I love each of you like sons. We are the Sons of the South. We are Dixie. We have the power of five million Virginians. We held at Boykins! We conquered Norfolk and razed it to the ground, its ashes a grave placemarker for all who dare offend the honor of the Confederation with their treacherous, imperialistic ways. We're going to break this siege and murder every Virginian son-of-a-bitch who dared trod his filthy boots onto Virginian soil. We are the Confederation! And if you so please this Christmas morn, I ask you to follow me into the merry mouth of Hell!"

    The Virginians expected no action that day, as it was Christmas and they believed no gentleman would attack on Christmas Day. A cheer was heard that shook the floors of the Virginian trenches, followed by a horrific artillery Carolinian bombardment on their positions. From across the snowy fields, appearing like raging ice-wraiths on the horizon, came the Confederation Army, bayonets pointed forward, held at waist level. Tattered flags bearing the Moon and Stars were blowing in the wind. One foot after the next through the cold and snow the Carolinians came. "The Grand Old Flag that Bears the Moon and Stars" was struck up by their bands, some even playing bagpipes. Cavalry soldiers, mostly on foot because of horses being killed during the artillery barrages, came with them also, their swords drawn and pointed forward. The Virginians were terrified and their alarm bells were ringing within seconds. The soldiers raced for their positions, frantically checking their muskets and trying to figure out what was going on. The artillery let up.

    The only thing that was heard now besides the din of the alarm bells was the sound of the chanting Confederation Army. With every step, they loot loose a "Huzzah!"

    "Huzzah!"

    "Huzzah!"

    "Huzzah!"

    "Huzzah!"


    Then came the order from Woodhouse.

    "Charge!"


    "HUZZAH!"

    Screaming and yelling like banshees, the 9,000 remaining Carolinians rushed the Virginian trenches at break-neck speed, sloshing through the mounds of snow and frozen corpses like demons, hellbent on killing every Virginian in sight. The Virginians finally opened up their guns, letting loose deadly barrages and killing scores of enemies. But still the Sons of the South came, their bayonets growing closer and closer every second. Within a minute, they were upon them, jumping down in the trenches bayonets first, slaughtering the Virginian defenders like animals. Before long, the Virginians found themselves pulling out of their own trenches and rushing for the inner-area of the siege site. It was then the Carolinians realized their fate. The Virginians had rigged their trenches to blow if they ever were overrun. The first explosion erupted in a giant ball of fire, taking out scores of Confederation men. Then another and another. Before long, planks, men, weapons, and body parts were all raining from the sky. Woodhouse himself was killed in the initial blast, his body virtually turned to ash. Hundreds of men were dead. Hundreds were burning. Thousands were screaming. The Virginians immediately opened up a new round of deadly musket balls, killing even more. As the Confederation soldiers finally began to run for their lives, it was too late. 6,000 Carolinians died in just this one assault, making the single bloodiest assault in North American history up to that point.


    Depiction of the Confederation charge at the Battle of Greensboro

    With the infection still spreading through his body, the former face hyper-masculine martial prowess knew defeat for the first time. He gazed hazily around the tent, his doctor holding him down as he heard the massive explosions. When Jackson heard the news of the destruction of his forces in the trenches, he knew it was over. Sweating a cold sweat, his eyes dilating, his body convulsing, he shrieked, "What's happened to my boys! Where are my boys! My boys! Oh God, please save my darling boys! Doctor, tell me what has happened to my precious sons!"

    The doctor held him down till he stopped shaking and screaming before lying to comfort him, "We have broken through. We hit their ammunition depot and they are running away like frightened rabbits. Greensboro is saved."

    Jackson grew stiff and quiet, laying on his cot facing the ceiling, his eyes looking but not seeing, mouthing, barely whispering the words, "Ah. Yes. Good. We have victory. I knew my boys would beat the bastards, by damn. They're brave, doctor, so incredibly brave. Much braver than me. What good sons I have, doctor."

    Those being his last words, Chancellor Andrew Jackson breathed his last, his mouth ajar and his eyes glazed over. Jackson was dead. And the war was lost.

    As the Confederation forces out west heard the news by January 8, 1828, they slowly began surrendering, small groups at a time and then finally the Grand Army of West Carolina under General William Camden raised the white flag and surrendered at Nashville. The Virginian-Carolinian War was over, but the "Era of Hard Feelings" was not...
     
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