"What Madness Is This?" Volume I: The Union Forever

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Napoleon53

Napoleon53

Worffan101 said:
Jesus fucking christ. That's Orwellian.
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Ironically, most of what I described took place during MKUltra OTL (at least the declassified parts we know about), sometimes even worse stuff than what I described the Union doing.

In, I believe, the early 50s, the CIA had to send down a general memo ordering its agents to quit spiking office water coolers and punch bowls with LSD because somebody killed himself during a prank. At least, if I remember the story correctly. That's where the idea of Patton's memo came from.

Also, "Boogie" being freaking meth will make this song more interesting:


"HE PUTS THE BOYS TO SLEEP WITH B O O G I E EVERY NIGHT, AND HE WAKES HIM THEM UP THE SAME WAY IN THE EARLY BRIGHT."
 
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halfcoop

Napoleon53 said:
scientists-to-defend-scopes-underwood-underwood-jpg.472326
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For some reason this picture is funny to me. Never before have I seen a group of men look so dorky yet so ominous.
 
Roger Redux

Roger Redux

Napoleon53 said:
Last Tuesday, an ORRA officer by the name of *redacted* was subjected to an "office prank" by his comrades, who placed over 600 micrograms of lysergic acid diethylamide into his coffee, making him think his typewriter was trying to kill him and that he himself was turning into a chair.
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XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD
 
Time Enough

Time Enough

* A swing jazz version of White Rabbit starts playing*
Napoleon53 said:
For the next few minutes everyone waited. The guards finished their cigarettes and busted out a deck of cards. Blaustein and Stanpipe would come over periodically and shine a bright light in O'Hara's eyes and then they would follow it up by checking his vital signs. The Irishman just laid there, wondering if he was going to die. He stared at the wooden clock on the wall, its pendulum swinging back and forth, the seconds ticking by. While he was watching it, the pendulum began to look almost unreal, as if it were contorting itself with every swing, then becoming almost fluid. The hideous wallpaper that covered the lab was a sort of olive green striping on a white background, which now began to peel off of the walls and dance about in mad spirals and unnatural, noneuclidean geometric patterns. As Blaustein and Stanpipe again approached the gurney, their faces were twisted into horrific cartoon characters. Blaustein appeared as an almost elephantine creature, his face gray and wrinkled, his eyes black, and his skin looking leathery and diseased. Miss Stanpipe looked like some sort of creature entirely alien to earth, her skin almost translucent and with her eyes glowing like coals. O'Hara frantically looked over at the counselors, still sitting there playing their card game. Every time one of them placed a card on the cheap pine table the wood seemed to ripple like rolling waves and the cards themselves began to drip off of the table. The guards faces became like flesh-colored gargoyles, menacing and primal, their laughter sending chills through his body as they howled over some joke he couldn't hear, their tongues lolling out like drunken demons. The hum of the lab equipment was almost deafening now, too, and the medical lamps seemed to be brighter than the sun. O'Hara screamed like had never screamed before.
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*Meanwhile in Britain*
We can't have our troops fighting under the influence of drugs...no we give brandy laced with laudanum...works everytime.
*Meanwhile in the Illumanist Republics*
Ethers all we need...wonderful simple ether...and Victory Gin.
*Meanwhile in the Dutch Empire*
C'mon guys relax...try Opuim...it just makes you feel...good
 
Murica1776

Murica1776

Good Golly Goddamn that was something else. The government is forcing acid down the throat of every Irish they can find, and the civilian population is using meth and mescaline. Honestly, this does so much to give a plausible explanation as to why the Union's insanity meter goes from merely crazy to frothing at the mouth in a relatively short time. Cocaine soda is one thing, but if you have everyone and their uncle popping hallucinogenics and meth like candy for a generation or so, that's going to cause some... interesting social movements.

Now all we need to round out the Yankee drug diet are some downers! I'd recommend tranquilizers and barbiturates since I don't think the Union has a steady supply of opium at the moment.

Finally, I'm desperately hoping for a Cokie War on Drugs, maybe beginning at a time where the Union is too distracted to try and prevent it. Not only would it preserve a few strands of sanity in the Carolinas, but I also find the idea of Southerners stereotyping Yankees as meth heads to be deeply hilarious
 

justatron

Murica1776 said:
A fucking V-16? Jesus Christ, how many horses is that thing going to have? More importantly, how shitty is its gas mileage going to be? I mean good God.
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Man, LSD, mescaline and meth fueled Pinnacle men showing off their manhood roaring down city streets in a V-16? Do they even bother with sending ambulances to car accidents or just hearses with shovels and plastic bags?
 
Born in the USSA

Born in the USSA

In all seriousness I bet Dan Backslide is a Europan stock political satire of the US, basically a ball of sleaze that's Steele smashed together with an anti-Semitic stereotype.
 
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