"What Madness Is This?" Redux: The Union Forever

Discussion in 'Alternate History Discussion: Before 1900' started by Napoleon53, Sep 13, 2018.

  1. Born in the USSA Well-Known Member

    Nov 14, 2015
    If I recall correctly the roids/cyborg thing was based on the theory that the demand for increasing excitement from the fans would create an atmosphere that would select for that sort of ridiculously overpowered player behavior, and that if it was segregated into its own league it wouldn't be an unfair factor against unenhanced players. Another suggestion was that the top teams in the normal leagues would graduate to playing in the enhanced leagues as the ultimate test of pure human endeavor.

    Napoleon53 Order of Monocled Sirs ಠ_ರೃ

    Jul 18, 2011
    Republican Union Space Force High Command


    The 1880 match between Scotty Kaiser and Lewis Flagg
    Going all the way back to the 17th century, prize fighting was a common underground activity in England. In the early 1700s, James Figg, of Oxfordshire, became the first recognized boxing champion, and his memory would be dug up by the Republican Union centuries later, with Yankee history books calling the bald-headed macho man "The Father of Fisticuffs." Jack Broughton would follow soon after Figg, developing and codifying official rules. The rules would govern the sport for the next century and change. In 1810, Virginian slave Tom Molineaux earned his way to freedom by brawling the plantation owner's son. Molineaux then moved to Pennsylvania and joined the Pugilist Society of Pittsburgh, dominating for the next ten years and helping to establish the Pugilist Society Playbook, which replaced Broughton's ancient rules. Molineaux was killed in 1812, during the British invasion, while defending his home from rampaging Canadian soldiers.

    James Figg, the Father of Fisticuffs

    Tom Molineaux (left) squaring off against an opponent (circa 1811)

    In the Southron nations, fist fights most often devolved into chaotic wrestling, simply called "gouging." Combatants would tackle, kick, bite, and scratch each other into an early grave, even ripping eyeballs out. To the gentlemen clubs of New England, the gougers were viewed as uncultured savages. Most Union states banned gouging as "disturbance of the peace and morally bereft of sportsmanlike value," although it continued in some states like Redemption and Oregon for some time. In 1850, Mark Fleetwood of Boston would finally develop fisticuffs into its modern form when he put pen to paper and crafted the Fleetwood Rules. Fleetwood was a student at Benedict Arnold University of Boston and an avid pugilist, defeating men twice his size regularly by using what he called "the science and art of fighting." He was an absolutely bizarre man in many ways, known for his wearing of outdated colonial-style knee-breeches and tricornered hats, as well as his habit of using what he called "coca lozenges" before fights to give himself extra energy. Despite only weighing 140, in 1848 Fleetwood had managed to topple Douglas Fischer, the 230-pound reigning champion of Boston, using his energy and quick fists to exhaust the hulking beast in a three hour brawl for the ages. The fight became legendary in Boston history, and in 1903 a statue of Fleetwood was erected in front of the B.A.U.B. Ampitheatre where the brawl took place. When his Fleetwood Rules became widely adopted across the nation in the coming decades, many fighters took to also wearing knee-breeches as a tribute to the legendary Bostonian, which would evolve into the trunks of the 20th century. His usage of cocaine also helped popularize it with Americans, a new market which would later be tapped by Sweet Victory and Go-Go Pep. He also later popularized cushioned gloves to protect the hands. Fleetwood would die, ironically, by losing the luck of the draw in a pistol duel with a rival lover of his lady dearest, Magnolia Flowers.

    Although duels still occurred from time-to-time, most disputes by the latter half of the 19th century were settled either by having a "Fleetwood fight" or by paying representatives to fight on the contestant's behalf. American ideals of manliness and honor meant that no challenge should go unanswered. In 1880, Lewis Flagg of Yale University posted an ad in newspapers all over New England claiming that he would prove Yale to be the grandest of the Ivy League schools by personally fighting for its honor against all comers. Most of all, he wanted to take the wind out of Boston's sails by taking the Fleetwood Belt, a prize for the greatest fighter at Arnold U., never intended to leave the campus. Naturally, this incensed B.A.U.B., who immediately agreed to the fight and vowed that the title would never leave its hallowed halls. Fleetwood Ampitheatre won a coin flip to host the event, and Boston students made Flagg's ride through town pure hell, roaring the school fight song, waving pennants, and cursing the name of Yale. In turn, mobs of Yale Connecticuters pored into town, Republica beer crates in tow, and "absolutely partied the town down." Boston RUMP officers were forced to utilize testudo formations with wooden shields to keep the rival students from tearing each other to ribbons. Small arms fire and fireworks lit up the sky for the "match of the decade."


    - OLD B.A.U.B. -

    Heart of old patriot town,
    Thru the ages extend the renown!
    Past and present join in the song,
    Thy praises to prolong.
    Afar shines thy clear Beacon light,
    Ever guiding to truth and right.
    Benedict Arnold University,
    Be thy fair dominion long.

    Join we all in loving praise,
    Sing her triumph clear.
    Honor the name of enduring fame,
    With rev'rent lays.
    Sound afar her glory true,
    Hail with cheer on cheer!
    Hail, oh hail, Old B.A.U.B....

    Laud we thy Puritan birth;
    And do tribute to thy sterling worth.
    True to thee thy every son,
    Chanting "Novus Ordo Seclorum!"
    Our laurels we bring to thy shrine,
    All our life's full attainment is thine.
    Old Arnold, we will turn to thee,
    Wherever our course will run.

    Defending the crown for Boston was the respected Scotty Kaiser. The son of German immigrants, his grandfather had been a famous fighter in the early 19th century in Prussia and his father had been a fighter at B.A.U.B. during the time of Fleetwood's reign. Now, Scotty was defending not only the legacy of his school, but also of his family. He could not lose. The Fleetwood Belt wasn't some trophy meant to travel the country, it was a sacred relic of his school and a symbol for everyone at the university. In preparation for the coming brawl, Kaiser had chewed on coca leaves, grown by Abernathy Farms in Lewisiana, and had pumped himself up to the point his heart felt like it was going to explode. He was a raging beast, and when he marched to the ring to the tune of "Old B.A.U.B," he felt like a million bucks. The swagger in his steps revealed a strong confidence of a man about to win honor for his university and name. Meanwhile, Flagg was no lump of dough either. The 6 foot 3 blonde giant was a rampaging monster of a man, ready to destroy anything before him. When the two met in the middle of the ring with the umpire to agree to follow the Mark Fleetwood Rules, the two men gazed at each other with intense hatred, knowing everything was on the line. They could not fall. This was war. Primal urges overtook them, and the only thing that was on their minds was utterly destroying and dismantling each other before the murder of crows that was the packs and packs of onlookers.

    What followed might not have been nearly as long as the famous Fleetwood-Fischer battle, but it would forever take its place in the history of the game. The first round was dominated by Kaiser, bobbing and weaving frantically before landing lightning fast punches directly on the mouth and eyes of Flagg, who moved slowly and seemed less confident now that the fight was truly on. Round two was much of the same, consisting of five minutes of Kaiser darting about and constantly landing punches on the giant before him. By round three, Flagg finally made his move, punching Kaiser squarely on the right ear, sending the smaller man lurching to one side, seeing stars. He followed it up by landing a blow right above Kaiser's kidney. The young man went down to the floor for a few seconds before picking himself up and getting back in the fight. Things were rapidly going downhill for Kaiser after this point; the body blow had been barely legal, and the pain was almost crippling. Little did he know that the punch was more direct than any realized. Kaiser's kidney was now ruptured. For two more rounds Kaiser valiantly kept fighting on despite incredible amounts of pain. He would go down three more times, each time rising to continue the fight. Both men's faces were swollen and bruised, but Kaiser had had a concussion before and was realizing it was happening again. In the fifth round, Flagg went down hard from a frantic burst of cocaine energy from Kaiser, only barely getting up again.

    The legendary fight would end in the sixth round. Kaiser, barely able to stand by the round's start and suffering from massive internal damage and bleeding, knew something was very wrong. But he thought if he kept pushing one more round, Flagg might go down again. Flagg could barely even see out of his eyes from swelling at this point, and he was making more mistakes. One more round. Just one more. For Boston. For Old B.A.U.B., Kaiser staggered back to his feet and advanced. Ten seconds later, a crushing blow to his side caused him to spew blood out of his mouth and into the crowd. As the umpire counted down, he realized Kaiser was really in a bad way and might be dying. More blood was pouring out of his mouth. It was not the dainty red of a busted lip, but the black syrup only internal damage can cause. He called for the doctors sitting nearby to jump in the ring and examine the young fighter. Flagg, meanwhile, went to sit back in his corner, stumbling and dragging. He didn't realize it yet, but he had just killed a man.

    Kaiser died before they could even move his body properly off the mat. Tempers in the ampitheatre flared and crowds of onlookers picked up their chairs and seats and began hurling them at students and faculty from the opposing school. Mayhem and violence was the rule of the day as Flagg swiped up the Fleetwood Belt and made a hasty exit. As news of Kaiser's death swept Boston, the true rioting began. Mounted police already had expected violence either way and were prepared, thankfully, and began to charge the students with nets, sweeping them off their feet so foot squads could close in for the arrest.

    The Great Fisticuffs Riot of 1880 was one of the most devastating and deadly secular, non-race related riots in Union history. Over twenty young men were killed in the scuffles, and well over 670 received major injuries. Acme Ashton, a Yale graduate who would go on to lead Lincoln's Hammer in the Great World War, was present for the riot, receiving a nasty gash on the back of his head that would leave a scar for the rest of his life. While the government demanded both school denounce all violence related to the fight, both schools would never forget. The most bitter college rivalry in American history began. The Fleetwood Belt was kept in a glass display case during daytime hours at the Preston K. Spears Gymnasium, and Boston would never rest until the Belt was returned.

    This epic struggle would resume the following year when B.A.U.B.'s own Winfield Payne, an incredible Adonis of physical fitness and pure bodily fluids, challenged Flagg for the title. The two schools, eager to prevent another riot, swore to contain their revelry under pain of government sanctions and decreased funding. Payne ripped the Fleetwood Belt away after three rounds of destruction, demolishing Flagg and triumphantly returning the belt to the Fleetwood Ampitheatre. The display case in Preston K. Spears Gymnasium would sit empty for the next 12 years, which Yale alumni referred to as the "Period of Indignity." Finally, in 1893, Merlin Mitchum returned the belt to Yale, defeating Boston's Benedict Carlson in six rounds.

    Around the same time, another similar championship was gaining popularity in the midwest. Lincolnburg, Iowai's President Lincoln University had been hosting neighboring colleges to a "Fisticuffs Festival League." While P.L.U. dominated at first, the belt eventually traveled around the Midwest and even out to the Pacific as other schools built up their fighting programs. Most surprisingly was the domination of the F.F.L. by Sanctify University, out of Sanctify (formerly known as Grand Rapids), Chersonesus, where an impressive sports program developed some all-time greats in the 1890s. Nearby Kalamazoo University also saw a two-time champ in Fatty Stevens in 1896-97. It eventually formally created the Midwest Fisticuffs League in 1898. In the Old South, the Waxahachie Bible Institute, of all places, formed a "Southron Gentleman's League," with its trophy frequently being dubbed "The Bible Belt." Wilhelm "Wild Bill" Strasser was the absolute titan for several years, until he was unseated in 1901 by Christopher Dawkins of Lewisiana State University. Down in former Mexico, which was still being built up over time, most colleges weren't participating in boxing programs until the 1920s, when the New Canaan Title Circuit was founded by Metropolis, New Canaan. After the Great War and the subsequent purges of Canada and Quebec, Canadian colleges usually participated in the Fisticuffs Festival League while George Washington Memorial University of Keybeck City, Keybeck, joined the original Ivy League. The gradual evolution of the boxing title leagues eventually gave way to regional divisions for colleges that would last forever. In the future, a golfer from President Lincoln University, for instance, who was in a tournament would still be golfing against opponents from the Midwest Fisticuffs League. In the Republican Union, tradition dies hard.

    By the 1920s, B.A.U.B. was again dominating the Ivy League, with pugilists like Sprague Uppencamp, the so-called Boston Bomb, and Anthony Sinclair. The two brutes would hold the Fleetwood Belt every year of the decade except 1923, when Uppencamp lost his three-year crown to Ebenezer Cranston of Monongahela State University, and 1926-27, when a lackluster team lost to Yale once more and then Yale lost to Harvard, before Sinclair returned the belt to Fleetwood Ampitheatre in 1928 to much jubilation. While the Ivy League maintained by far the largest fanbase in America, the other leagues weren't far behind. Greats such the three-time Bible Belt champion Martin Luther Weaver of the Elyton Institute and Willy Wooten of Goodyear University of Shicagwa would find their pictures and posters festooned to the walls of gymnasiums and young boys' bedrooms the nation over. Interestingly, an attempt was made for female boxing leagues, with Athalia Winslow of West Florida University being of particular note in the mid-20s. However, most of the women's programs were phased out in favor of fencing leagues, which were considered more appropriate.

    Willy Wooten of G.U.S.


    Ebenezer Cranston of Monongahela State

    Martin Luther Weaver of the Elyton Institute

    Sprague Uppencamp of B.A.U.B.
    "The Boston Bomb"

    Athalia Winslow of West Florida U.

    B.A.U.B. teammates train circa 1925

    • Benedict Arnold University of Boston (Boston, Massachusetts)
    • Yale University (New Haven, Connecticut)
    • Dartmouth College (Hannover, New Hampshire)
    • Longwood University (Ithaca, New York)
    • Brown University (Providence, Rhode Island)
    • Morningside University (formerly Columbia University) (of Morningside Heights, New York)
    • Benjamin Franklin Memorial University (formerly Pennsylvania University before 1890) (Philadelphia, Pennsyvlania)
    • Monongahela State University (Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania)
    • Halifax Technical Institute (Halifax, Nova Scotia)
    • Prophetstown State University (Prophetstown, Burrland)
    • University of Ontario (Toronto, Ontario)
    • University of Delaware (Newark, Delaware)
    • Rutgers University (New Brunswick, New Jersey)
    • George Washington Memorial University (Keybeck City, Keybeck)
    • Princeton University (Princeton, New Jersey)
    • President Lincoln University (Lincolnburg, Iowai)
    • Sanctify University (Sanctify, Chersonesus)
    • Kalamazoo University (Kalamazoo, Chersonesus)
    • Crawford City University (Crawford, Chersonesus) (later renamed to Colonel Ford Memorial University in 1940)
    • Goodyear University of Shicagwa (Shicagwa, Iowai)
    • Centralia State College (Centralia, Iowai)
    • Michigania State University (Milwaukee, Michigania)
    • Fort Pike College (Fort Pike, Michigania)
    • Beacon Institute (Oshkosh, Michigania)
    • Pinnacleus University (Cincinnati, Ohio)
    • Ohio State University (Sandusky, Ohio)
    • Praise City College (Praise, Dakota)
    • Bluff City College (Bluff, Redemption)
    • Kessler University (Shoshoni Falls, Oregon)
    • Gibson Bible College (Barnumsburg, Oregon)
    • Appalachian Bible Institute (Frankfort, Appalachia
    • Virginia University (Elizabethstown, Virginia
    • College of Burr and Miles (formerly College of William and Mary) (Williamsburg, Virginia)
    • Meriwether Lewis Memorial University (Lewis City, Osage)
    • Waxahachie Bible Institute (Waxhachie, Texas)
    • Trinity Institute (Trinity City, Texas)
    • Custer City University (Custer City, Texas)
    • Norris Junction College (Anthem, Texas)
    • Texas State Technical School (Galveston, Texas)
    • Mississippi State Institute (Tulsa, Mississippi)
    • Mississippi State Institute for Higher Learning (Dayton, Mississippi)
    • Cottonmouth Springs University (Cottonmouth Springs, Lewisiana)
    • Lewisiana State University (New Antioch, Lewisiana)
    • Lewisiana Fundamentalist Institute (McClellan, Lewisiana)
    • Revere State University (Magnolia, Revere)
    • Elyton Institute (Elyton, Revere)
    • West Florida Institute (Mobile, Florida)
    • Union City University (Union City, Florida)
    • Nassau Institute (Nassau, Bahamas)
    • University of Georgia (Athens, Georgia)
    • Rosenberg Technical Institute (Atlanta, Georgia)
    • Salvation Springs College (Salvation Springs, Lewisland)
    • Benedict Arnold University of Metropolis (Metropolis, New Canaan)
    • Hermansburg City College (Hermansburg, Brown)
    • God's Glory Bible Institute (Emancipation City, Brown)
    • Valley City College (Valley City, Arnold)
    • New Oxford University (New Oxford, Oxacre)
    • Sweetwater College (Sweetwater, Oxacre)
    • Anthony Wayne Memorial University (Waynestown, Grand Panama)
    • Jamaica College (Kingston, Jamaica)
    • Jordan Technical Institute (Haven City, Cuba)
    Last edited: Jul 12, 2019
  3. Napoleon53 Order of Monocled Sirs ಠ_ರೃ

    Jul 18, 2011
    Republican Union Space Force High Command
    Let me just say that the word "university" has lost all meaning. My hands were practically cramping typing those lists up, but I find them incredibly useful for world-building. If I forgot your college would probably exist, go ahead and let me know, though. But only if it wouldn't lose its draw to one of the fictional ones in a nearby locale.
  4. John Spangler A man of wealth and taste

    Nov 14, 2013
    Somewhere in Southern Italy
    Truly a fistful of cocaine and madness!
  5. Napoleon53 Order of Monocled Sirs ಠ_ರೃ

    Jul 18, 2011
    Republican Union Space Force High Command
    I'm going to go through tomorrow and edit the list to have ()s instead of saying "of this city."

    Benedict Arnold University of Boston (Boston, Massachusetts)

    Is a hell of a lot easier to read lol
  6. Murica1776 Building an American Tomorrow

    Jun 22, 2016
    As a former and soon to be returning member of UNC's Boxing Club (founded in 1876) I absolutely loved this chapter! Although obviously our boxing matches (we send the best on the road to compete) are nowhere near the levels of the BAUB-Yale fight, they're still great fun to watch
  7. Born in the USSA Well-Known Member

    Nov 14, 2015
    So if fencing is considered a lady's sport TTL does that mean the Women's Action Corps will have swords?
  8. Murica1776 Building an American Tomorrow

    Jun 22, 2016
    Maybe only the special Valkyrie division carries swords, in something of a female counterpart to ORRA. They're the toughest, most radical WAC members, who are highly propagandized about and might even have some weird ceremonial armor.
  9. traveller76 Member

    Jul 29, 2006
    Fort Worth, TX
    So will the fisticuff leagues have any weight classes or is it a free for all. Also, I would think the local, state and national government would be interested in any betting or wagers going on in matches. I can also imagine the sponsorship deals.
  10. The Congressman Populist Liberty Conservative

    Oct 2, 2015
    Good ol' USA
    Two questions. First, are there Leagues in the former Japan? And second, now that the inferiors have been wiped out essentially in Cleansing Month, what happened to the Cuba Inferior Colony?
  11. FranzAncheNo Citizen of the Republic of Pistoia

    Oct 8, 2018
    Republic of Pistoia
    I'm back after a week long trip to the South of England to visit some plant nurseries there and this brings me to my question. Without the British Empire what happened to the fantastic gardens and collections of specimens of the XIX and early XX century?
    I think Europan nobility may have "pulled a Britain" in this sense, but still the concept of English garden is gone leaving more space for Italian, French and Spanish gardening (More geometric edging and less grass, I guess.).
    Considering American dominance over most of the Pacific, Japan and the Caribbeans, I also guess there's probably going to be a typical American style of gardening: I'm really wondering about the possible features of it. Large spaces inspired by the huge American homeland? Oriental Gardens that got popular after the war in Holy Nippon? Abundance of huge trees to symbolize the relationship with Jehovah through verticalization? Olea trees as a Biblical reference? Exotic plants to celebrate the hugeness of Pinnacle Men's domains? Camelias (With Japan, South East Asia and Oceania in the American sphere of influence sounds possible.)?

    Got the nice reference.

    This one was lovely!

    The Oswald's were really all fantastic characters.
  12. traveller76 Member

    Jul 29, 2006
    Fort Worth, TX
    I see the Europan and Nipponese having private walled gardens for private entertaining and then large parks in most major cities as a way of urban renewal.
  13. FranzAncheNo Citizen of the Republic of Pistoia

    Oct 8, 2018
    Republic of Pistoia
    Such parks may still exist and exist in large numbers, but, I think, they would probably be very different: more focused on geometrical composition of plants, fountains and footpaths and with almost no grasses to rest or play (I guess there would be stadiums for this.). Also I totally see Europan parks being extensions of churchyards and/or "strongly cloister-inspired".
    raffaele gaggioli and Ameroboto like this.
  14. Nivek Resident Videogame Expert

    May 4, 2009
    Santa Marta,Magdalena,West Venezuela
    Wonder what kind of Fencing, as they got holy nippon and that nation have surplus of 'non papist' fencing arts...
  15. traveller76 Member

    Jul 29, 2006
    Fort Worth, TX
    FranzAncheNo, Nivek and Murica1776 like this.
  16. Nivek Resident Videogame Expert

    May 4, 2009
    Santa Marta,Magdalena,West Venezuela
    Possible but knowing RU whatever they come will be insane
  17. LostInNewDelhi Anarcho-Shaivist

    Oct 30, 2014
    Not sure if the Britannic Union has a canon anthem already, but if not I'd like to put forward "Britain, Ask of Thyself."

    The YT comments are also quite good for a laugh.
  18. Murica1776 Building an American Tomorrow

    Jun 22, 2016
    Ok, so a couple thoughts/comments:

    1. I can't wait for the LSD chapter! God only knows what kind of freaky bullshit the Union is going to concoct. I would speculate, but I'm pretty sure whatever Napo comes up with will be even crazier than anything I can think of.

    2. Are we going to see something on fencing? I understand it might not get a full chapter, but it definitely intrigues me. Especially since I'm sure the women will be just as violent, drug-crazed, and possibly even as perverted as the men.

    3. Am I the only one who thinks that women's boxing is going to be revived at some point? The Union has innumerable faults, but they're probably a good 30-40 years ahead of OTL on most gender issues. I can picture that being another Oswaldian move to "liberate" the Union after the War and the moralism of the Steele years. Plus, it shows you who the real Pinnacle Women are!

    4. Speaking of Pinnacle Women, I wonder if the Union is going to have different beauty standards than OTL? I'm picturing that instead of the waif thin and delicate the Union goes for a more muscular look. It fits with their ideology.
  19. Nivek Resident Videogame Expert

    May 4, 2009
    Santa Marta,Magdalena,West Venezuela
    More amazonian? wonder if a more muscular Athalia Winslow (or Miss Winslow herself) is that standard already
  20. Unknown Member

    Jan 31, 2004
    Corpus Christi, TX
    The late Joanie Laurer (aka Chyna) would fit right into this TL, methinks (look at how she looked when she first got into the WWF)...
    AK47Productions and Murica1776 like this.