Earlier in the thread I mentioned that there's probably a whole branch of Union academia coming up with AH maps as a psyop against their enemies, in a nod to 1.0 MDP using alternate history maps and flags as propaganda. If that turns out to be the case I'm sure there's a file drawer in Steele's desk with all the new maps to be imposed on the new states once NUSA absorbs the Free World. Meanwhile, with the CYB and the deliberate mixing of regional groups in the ORRA I think you end up with a situation where loyalty to the central government trumps regional affiliation for most of the top brass. You'd end up with intragovernmental struggles but not ones with seceding batches of states IMO. Sure there's the unlikely chance an entire Army Group could try to go rogue under a charismatic general, but whoever has 50+1% of the central government can just denounce them as traitors to the Youth Brigade and send in the ORRA to clean up the bloody bits.
"What Madness Is This?" Volume I: The Union Forever
- Thread starter Napoleon53
- Start date
I've read this bit about the Union using "AH as propaganda" before, but I re-read the 1.0 thread and it didn't jump out at me. Could you kindly point me in the right direction, or at least refresh my memory?
The chapter where young Churchill goes to an MDP rally and has a political awakening. It's mentioned that the MDP waves ridiculously revanchist flags with extra stars, with the most ridiculous having 50 stars. I'm almost positive maps were mentioned.
Here's my best crack at a Beutelist world. Let me know what you think:
Welcome to the People's Age, brothers and sisters in Anarchy. From the ashes of the old world, a Beutelist World Freedom has emerged. Truly, this is the Enlightened world Beutel and Troki envisioned.
The Beutelist rising began as the world's decadent aristocrats and tyrannical fanatics destroyed themselves. The Second Great War concentrated power in the hands of the despicable Yankee fascists and the falsely enlightened Illuminists. Other states existed, and they too were tyrannical, but none had a similar level of power to the two superpowers. Then, all their plans of conquest and fantasies of unlimited dominance and purity collapsed around their statist heads. The fascists went first. They took the Strong Man Theory to its logical conclusion, and the great Yankee Empire shattered into several pieces. Former allies turned on each other to grab their piece of the empire, even as the Illuminists gobbled up the periphery. A stable order was established where the Illuminists reigned over the world, even as the Fascist remnants pledged atomic war. The actual end was far less dramatic. The Illuminists and Fascists both denied their people work and bread, as economies grew strained from sustaining the decadent rulers and their massive war machines. Then, the people took bread. Here, in Ecuador, we revived the Revolutionary Nation of Beutel, overthrowing an Illuminist installed regime. Others followed our lead, while others were more forcefully liberated from their masters. The Revolutionary Nation of Latin America arose from the ashes. The tyrants, predictably, grew frightened. However, as other rebellions erupted in other territories, we were there with guns, men, and the words of Beutel. We even acquired atomic weapons to deter the aristocrats and fanatics. Around the world, as oppressive states collapsed, we rose. Now, Beutelism has liberated the preponderance of mankind. Hail the Revolution!
In Latin America, atop the ashes of Eduists, Fascists, Illuminists, Catholics, and others, is the Revolutionary Nation of Latin America. From here, the Revolution of Enlightenment has spread. Communal ownership and effort has eliminated the tyranny of property and aristocracy. We have smashed organized religion, and freed men's minds and souls. Outdated puritanical mores have been discarded, and our people live lives of libertinism. We are led temporarily by the Vanguard of the Revolution, who shall retain emergency powers until true anarchy is safely achieved. And we are defended by the Latin People's Beutelist Army, the strongest such defense force in the world. They have taken extreme measures to safeguard the Revolution, and are dedicated to eliminating bourgeoisie sentiment. As they should be.
To the North, the United Beutelist Communes of North America faces a daunting task. Despite decades of warfare between free and unfree, and centuries of oppression, large numbers of former Yankees and Carolinians refuse to give up their Fascist superstitions. However, the United Communes has made extraordinary progress in many regions of the old American domain. Millions have been liberated, while counter-revolutionary elements have been eliminated with extreme brutality and prejudice. Unfortunate perhaps, but necessary. The UBCNA is also perhaps a great deal harsher and stricter than the rest of the Beutelist World Freedom, but this too is necessary given the scope of their job. Their Communal Defense Force is the largest such group in the world, although their weapons are inferior to the Latin ones because of the focus on quantity. The People's President has declared that the UBCNA shall eliminate all counter-revolutionary elements within a half century. This is truly extraordinary, and gives hope to all True Anarchists.
In Europe, the birthplace of Beutel in Germany became the core of the Revolution. From Berlin, the European Revolutionary Committee has freed the continent from its old aristocrats, Illuminist false liberators, religious fanatics, and bloated capitalists. Only a relatively small handful of counter-revolutionary elements remain. Meanwhile, a new Renaissance of culture, art, hedonism, and Liberty has arisen under the benevolent guidance of their Temporary Dictator. In fact, many who find the time in this new era of freedom and pleasure travel there to experience this new way of living. Truly, Beutelism is creating a Utopia on Earth!
In the Middle East, the People's Revolutionary Arab Nation has seized the region from the oppressors. They now face a grinding guerilla war against counter-revolutionary elements almost as unfortunate as their North America brethren. The Fascist Zionists, Nationalist Kurds, Islamist Turks, and Imperial Persians are all being purged for the good of the Revolution. Great progress is being made in this, as well as in developing the region. According to the Protector of Liberty, the Revolution is becoming more secure there everyday. Hail Libertas!
In Africa, old ethnic bigotries have been swept aside to form the African Beutelist Brotherhood. The black man has shorn his colonial shackles to become a new man, born in Liberty and Anarchy. The colonizers, from Jacksonland to French Africa, have been eliminated for their counter-revolutionary tendencies. Death to Tyrants is Obedience to Liberty! Beutelism there has been adapted to the old tribal, communal ways of living. This includes polygamy, the use of hallucinogenics, and other fascinating rituals only a Free People could conceive of.
In Asia, separate Beutelist states have cropped up in Asian Russia/Mongolia, China/Korea, India, Indochina, Indonesia, Australia, and Japan. The Japanese language has been restored, and the Yankees forced to accept the Rise of Anarchy by force. The Dutch colonizers have been eliminated in Indonesia as the bloated decadents they were. India has smashed the colonizers and the caste system, creating a new, spiritual Beutelism that believes in karmic retribution on the oppressor via treating him and his descendants as they treated others. This is controversial for its spiritual attributes, but the Vanguard of the Revolution approves and he is more learned in Beutelism than I. China has created a Peasants Beutelist Heavenly Freedom, and have destroyed thousands of years of decadent Confucianist oppression. Asian Russia and Mongolia have gone back to their nomadic roots, as they believe that a man is unfree if he is tied to a single area. Truly, Asia has seen an upswell in Beutelist sentiment that cannot be stopped by the remnants of the oppressors. Hail Anarchy!
Well Freeborn, I hope this glimpse of the future inspires you. The Revolution cannot happen if you don't dare to act. Destroy your oppressors, and live a free life!
Welcome to the People's Age, brothers and sisters in Anarchy. From the ashes of the old world, a Beutelist World Freedom has emerged. Truly, this is the Enlightened world Beutel and Troki envisioned.
The Beutelist rising began as the world's decadent aristocrats and tyrannical fanatics destroyed themselves. The Second Great War concentrated power in the hands of the despicable Yankee fascists and the falsely enlightened Illuminists. Other states existed, and they too were tyrannical, but none had a similar level of power to the two superpowers. Then, all their plans of conquest and fantasies of unlimited dominance and purity collapsed around their statist heads. The fascists went first. They took the Strong Man Theory to its logical conclusion, and the great Yankee Empire shattered into several pieces. Former allies turned on each other to grab their piece of the empire, even as the Illuminists gobbled up the periphery. A stable order was established where the Illuminists reigned over the world, even as the Fascist remnants pledged atomic war. The actual end was far less dramatic. The Illuminists and Fascists both denied their people work and bread, as economies grew strained from sustaining the decadent rulers and their massive war machines. Then, the people took bread. Here, in Ecuador, we revived the Revolutionary Nation of Beutel, overthrowing an Illuminist installed regime. Others followed our lead, while others were more forcefully liberated from their masters. The Revolutionary Nation of Latin America arose from the ashes. The tyrants, predictably, grew frightened. However, as other rebellions erupted in other territories, we were there with guns, men, and the words of Beutel. We even acquired atomic weapons to deter the aristocrats and fanatics. Around the world, as oppressive states collapsed, we rose. Now, Beutelism has liberated the preponderance of mankind. Hail the Revolution!
In Latin America, atop the ashes of Eduists, Fascists, Illuminists, Catholics, and others, is the Revolutionary Nation of Latin America. From here, the Revolution of Enlightenment has spread. Communal ownership and effort has eliminated the tyranny of property and aristocracy. We have smashed organized religion, and freed men's minds and souls. Outdated puritanical mores have been discarded, and our people live lives of libertinism. We are led temporarily by the Vanguard of the Revolution, who shall retain emergency powers until true anarchy is safely achieved. And we are defended by the Latin People's Beutelist Army, the strongest such defense force in the world. They have taken extreme measures to safeguard the Revolution, and are dedicated to eliminating bourgeoisie sentiment. As they should be.
To the North, the United Beutelist Communes of North America faces a daunting task. Despite decades of warfare between free and unfree, and centuries of oppression, large numbers of former Yankees and Carolinians refuse to give up their Fascist superstitions. However, the United Communes has made extraordinary progress in many regions of the old American domain. Millions have been liberated, while counter-revolutionary elements have been eliminated with extreme brutality and prejudice. Unfortunate perhaps, but necessary. The UBCNA is also perhaps a great deal harsher and stricter than the rest of the Beutelist World Freedom, but this too is necessary given the scope of their job. Their Communal Defense Force is the largest such group in the world, although their weapons are inferior to the Latin ones because of the focus on quantity. The People's President has declared that the UBCNA shall eliminate all counter-revolutionary elements within a half century. This is truly extraordinary, and gives hope to all True Anarchists.
In Europe, the birthplace of Beutel in Germany became the core of the Revolution. From Berlin, the European Revolutionary Committee has freed the continent from its old aristocrats, Illuminist false liberators, religious fanatics, and bloated capitalists. Only a relatively small handful of counter-revolutionary elements remain. Meanwhile, a new Renaissance of culture, art, hedonism, and Liberty has arisen under the benevolent guidance of their Temporary Dictator. In fact, many who find the time in this new era of freedom and pleasure travel there to experience this new way of living. Truly, Beutelism is creating a Utopia on Earth!
In the Middle East, the People's Revolutionary Arab Nation has seized the region from the oppressors. They now face a grinding guerilla war against counter-revolutionary elements almost as unfortunate as their North America brethren. The Fascist Zionists, Nationalist Kurds, Islamist Turks, and Imperial Persians are all being purged for the good of the Revolution. Great progress is being made in this, as well as in developing the region. According to the Protector of Liberty, the Revolution is becoming more secure there everyday. Hail Libertas!
In Africa, old ethnic bigotries have been swept aside to form the African Beutelist Brotherhood. The black man has shorn his colonial shackles to become a new man, born in Liberty and Anarchy. The colonizers, from Jacksonland to French Africa, have been eliminated for their counter-revolutionary tendencies. Death to Tyrants is Obedience to Liberty! Beutelism there has been adapted to the old tribal, communal ways of living. This includes polygamy, the use of hallucinogenics, and other fascinating rituals only a Free People could conceive of.
In Asia, separate Beutelist states have cropped up in Asian Russia/Mongolia, China/Korea, India, Indochina, Indonesia, Australia, and Japan. The Japanese language has been restored, and the Yankees forced to accept the Rise of Anarchy by force. The Dutch colonizers have been eliminated in Indonesia as the bloated decadents they were. India has smashed the colonizers and the caste system, creating a new, spiritual Beutelism that believes in karmic retribution on the oppressor via treating him and his descendants as they treated others. This is controversial for its spiritual attributes, but the Vanguard of the Revolution approves and he is more learned in Beutelism than I. China has created a Peasants Beutelist Heavenly Freedom, and have destroyed thousands of years of decadent Confucianist oppression. Asian Russia and Mongolia have gone back to their nomadic roots, as they believe that a man is unfree if he is tied to a single area. Truly, Asia has seen an upswell in Beutelist sentiment that cannot be stopped by the remnants of the oppressors. Hail Anarchy!
Well Freeborn, I hope this glimpse of the future inspires you. The Revolution cannot happen if you don't dare to act. Destroy your oppressors, and live a free life!
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One minor typo: you mention "Jackson and" instead of "Jacksonland", otherwise very well done
Great job, Murica!!! Now we need... a CAROLINIAN WORLD.
Cokienaut Jed "Big Balls" Hatfield cracks open a cold one with the bois on the moo- er, Sky Carolina, after his landing aboard the C.O.C.S. Jumpin' Jehosaphat.
"This is one small step fer a down-home boi like myself, and one giant dad-gerned mack-daddy of all leaps fer th' Confederation! Hark th' Say-ound! YEE-YEET."
Cokienaut Jed "Big Balls" Hatfield cracks open a cold one with the bois on the moo- er, Sky Carolina, after his landing aboard the C.O.C.S. Jumpin' Jehosaphat.
"This is one small step fer a down-home boi like myself, and one giant dad-gerned mack-daddy of all leaps fer th' Confederation! Hark th' Say-ound! YEE-YEET."
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But Napoleon he is writing fanfiction, everyone knows that supreme Carolina victory is the canon ending.
As soon as we learn more about the ideology as it establishes itself in Russia and elsewhere, I'm hoping to write it
One thing I just remembered (I'm like ten Lovecraft books deep already 
), my original thought process for RUMP's logo was not Hydra, but C'thulhu. lol
), my original thought process for RUMP's logo was not Hydra, but C'thulhu. lol
Honestly? It works well as both. Cthulhu and HYDRA mashed up into one horrifying monstrosity.One thing I just remembered (I'm like ten Lovecraft books deep already
One thing I just remembered (I'm like ten Lovecraft books deep already
Ctullu don't deserved to be linked those lunatics.
Well for my list of top 5 Madness! Characters I would go:
1. Joseph Steele: Yeah I know he's only just got introduced, but honestly from what we've got, im looking forward to him. I honestly enjoy reading every moment he's involved, how he's so cold blooded and pragmatic. I particularly enjoyed his handling of Billy Sunday and can't wait for more governmental intrigues under him.
2. Charles Goodyear I: The Ultimate Self-Made American. He started with nothing and emerged as one of the, if not arguably the most powerful man in the Republican Union. His rise to power and essentially monopoly over society with his business really differentiated him from a lot of the other Madness! bad guys given he wasn't a politician but just a businessman. I just think it adds a new side of madness beyond politics and into business.
3. Tsar Viktor I: Before we get Oswald or Billy Graham, Viktor I is the pinnacle of the madness of the Madness!-Verse. I know some might've been turned off by it, but I enjoyed the really bizarre outlook on life Viktor had, combining Russian Ultranationalism, Orthodox Christianity with East Asian Mysticism to create some horrific nightmarish entity in Eurasia, not to mention his actions in wartime. His downfall was sweet given his actions.
4. Abraham Lincoln: Lincoln was quite a twist for me, given that in 1.0 he was a faithful employee of Goodyear Enterprises who crushed infee riots in Shicagwa in the 1840s before becoming a judge or something before being unceremoniously killed off during Custer's Coup in 1891. Here, Lincoln has a much bigger role with a similar parallel history to OTL Lincoln only twisted. He is the man who reunified America (bar Carolina) and despite his authoritarian measures, was really I think no more than just a slight exaggeration of the worst of 19th Century American Politics but he was a patriot who wanted the best for the Union. Certainly not mad, but definitely not a nice guy. Also the "Lincoln-Douglas Debate" TTL was quite funny.
5. Napoleon II: A relatively sane man for this world. While initially I was put off by his apparent buffoonish nature at the start especially to America, Napoleon II really grew into his own character from the shadow of his father and went on to do what the Crusades failed to do, conquer the Holy Land successfully. He brought Europan Glory and recognized the threat of the Republican Union but his untimely death unfortunately hindered any chance at a potential early crackdown. Too bad his successors were just pathetic or mediocre.
Honorable Mentions:
George Custer: Custer is definitely an influential character in this story, setting the stage for the Fascist Era that will run America to Oswald, but there was something off with Custer for me. He felt less like a character or individual with an interesting personality and more like just a plot device to get to the true madness of the 20th Century and I therefore had less of an impression on his character really. I wouldn't say I was disappointed, just put off or disconnected. I can't really explain it, maybe im just stupid and didn't pay attention and am alone in my views but who knows. Nevertheless, given his important role in the story, he will be put here in the honorable mentions.
Andrew Jackson: Can't go wrong with Andy Jack but I feel his relatively early end prevented him from ever getting into the top 5 for me. Still enjoyed what we got.
Napoleon IV: Napoleon IV is someone I feel has the potential to be in the top 5, though I will reserve my true judgment until we get his "Faces of the Great War" chapter which will go into more detail of his rule in the 20th Century to better explain how Europa just fell apart in the World War.
Perrault: Perrault feels like a genuine human in this fucked up world, he has his flaws, oh yes. But despite that, he is an intriguing character whose future im genuinely interested in reading more about.
1. Joseph Steele: Yeah I know he's only just got introduced, but honestly from what we've got, im looking forward to him. I honestly enjoy reading every moment he's involved, how he's so cold blooded and pragmatic. I particularly enjoyed his handling of Billy Sunday and can't wait for more governmental intrigues under him.
2. Charles Goodyear I: The Ultimate Self-Made American. He started with nothing and emerged as one of the, if not arguably the most powerful man in the Republican Union. His rise to power and essentially monopoly over society with his business really differentiated him from a lot of the other Madness! bad guys given he wasn't a politician but just a businessman. I just think it adds a new side of madness beyond politics and into business.
3. Tsar Viktor I: Before we get Oswald or Billy Graham, Viktor I is the pinnacle of the madness of the Madness!-Verse. I know some might've been turned off by it, but I enjoyed the really bizarre outlook on life Viktor had, combining Russian Ultranationalism, Orthodox Christianity with East Asian Mysticism to create some horrific nightmarish entity in Eurasia, not to mention his actions in wartime. His downfall was sweet given his actions.
4. Abraham Lincoln: Lincoln was quite a twist for me, given that in 1.0 he was a faithful employee of Goodyear Enterprises who crushed infee riots in Shicagwa in the 1840s before becoming a judge or something before being unceremoniously killed off during Custer's Coup in 1891. Here, Lincoln has a much bigger role with a similar parallel history to OTL Lincoln only twisted. He is the man who reunified America (bar Carolina) and despite his authoritarian measures, was really I think no more than just a slight exaggeration of the worst of 19th Century American Politics but he was a patriot who wanted the best for the Union. Certainly not mad, but definitely not a nice guy. Also the "Lincoln-Douglas Debate" TTL was quite funny.
5. Napoleon II: A relatively sane man for this world. While initially I was put off by his apparent buffoonish nature at the start especially to America, Napoleon II really grew into his own character from the shadow of his father and went on to do what the Crusades failed to do, conquer the Holy Land successfully. He brought Europan Glory and recognized the threat of the Republican Union but his untimely death unfortunately hindered any chance at a potential early crackdown. Too bad his successors were just pathetic or mediocre.
Honorable Mentions:
George Custer: Custer is definitely an influential character in this story, setting the stage for the Fascist Era that will run America to Oswald, but there was something off with Custer for me. He felt less like a character or individual with an interesting personality and more like just a plot device to get to the true madness of the 20th Century and I therefore had less of an impression on his character really. I wouldn't say I was disappointed, just put off or disconnected. I can't really explain it, maybe im just stupid and didn't pay attention and am alone in my views but who knows. Nevertheless, given his important role in the story, he will be put here in the honorable mentions.
Andrew Jackson: Can't go wrong with Andy Jack but I feel his relatively early end prevented him from ever getting into the top 5 for me. Still enjoyed what we got.
Napoleon IV: Napoleon IV is someone I feel has the potential to be in the top 5, though I will reserve my true judgment until we get his "Faces of the Great War" chapter which will go into more detail of his rule in the 20th Century to better explain how Europa just fell apart in the World War.
Perrault: Perrault feels like a genuine human in this fucked up world, he has his flaws, oh yes. But despite that, he is an intriguing character whose future im genuinely interested in reading more about.
My top 5:
- Crawford. A genuinely well-meaning man who wanted the best for his fellow man, a true tragedy of a character in a world where most people are assholes.
- Perrault. Decent by the ridiculously low standards of Europa, and with real, human, sympathetic flaws. A sad man and one of the less terrible people in Madness.
- The Union prior to Goodyear's rise. As a dream, it was a good idea. In practice, it learned the wrong lessons too late to save itself as the OTL USA did.
- Meinrad Beutel. Another well-meaning man who wanted only the best for all humanity, who saw his dream twisted and broken, lost his faith and hope and trust in human decency. and died sad and alone.
- The Mexican people. They weren't really a character or important part of the story, but I can't think of anyone else here who's all that sympathetic.
Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, might I present to you.... Utopia! JK it's still awful even if it is my favorite faction. Also long, so I can come up with a semi coherent backstory. For the spelling and tone, I'm channelling my former American History teacher who was also a football coach for the school. Prepare for the most insane scenario ever:
How y'all doin? Can I get a Yee Yee? Aight, that's good! It's the year of our Savior 2099, yessir. Everywhere you look, Carolina and her magnificent Presbyterian faith have spread across the globe! Hark the Sound of Free Men's Voices!
Now y'all probably wonderin how in the hell little Ol'Caroline took over the world. After the Great Wars, we really expanded into Africa, putting those folks in their place. Then here comes the big part. In 1976 that Damnyankee Oswald decided that fo the Bicentennial of American independence, he was gonna "restore the Union." Sumbitch musta sent about 750,000 Yankees in the invasion force. Unfortunately for his pretty boy Boston ass, that was right when Ol' Dick Nixon decided he had enough of the boss man. That civil war shattered the Union, buying us time to beat back the part of the invasion force that hadn't been diverted yet. As y'all might've imagined, us Carolinians was mad as hell at them Yankee boys. So by God, we did sumin bout it! We rediscovered our true heritage, and drove the Damnyankee Fascists outta all the South and the Caribbean. From Ballmore to East Carolina, the Vulture spread his wings. Also got us the atomic bomb to keep ourselves safe from them outsiders.
A couple years later, them goddamned I-lluminists was acting up yammering on about Negro oppression even though they was more than happy to keep what was left of the old German Empire in Africa. So, we took all they African territories to show em who's in charge. They was pissed, but they was too distracted by the Fascists to go full a-bomb on us. Had peace fo bout a decade, but then the leftovers of Yankeeland was getting real restless. Public Virtuemen worked it to our advantage, got some poor folks to revolt. We done moved in so fast, them Yankees' heads was spinnin! We set up the Confederation of Greater New England, goin from Ohio-land to Keybeck, and shoved all the Yankee loyalists we could find there. Erything else in North America was Carolina land. Then of course, them "New Eduists" down in Brazil-land start actin a fool, so we had to go in. Made us expand our definition of white a little bit, if only cuz our boys couldn't keep they hands off them curvaceous Latinas, know what I'm sayin? Anyways, rest of the continent was a shambles of tinpot dictators and Yankee remnants, so we swept across the continent in Operation: Latin Rose. Cleared them tribes out the Amazon Jungle and started dumping Fascists, uppity black folk, Eduists, and all other sorts in there. Built a big perimeter round it and everything. Not a wall mind, just guard checkpoints. So, y'all see we had peace fo bout 15 years. We just sat round, mindin our own business, chewin tobacco and havin some fun with some good ol country girls.
Then, wouldn't ya know it, the blacks in old Yankee Africa expanded, and started yammering bout liberatin the Pinnacle Man or whatever the hell it is they do. So we rolled up our sleeves, loaded our rifles, and defended White Civilization by God! Wound up getting the whole of Africa, yessir. Had peace fo a good 10 years, till 2019. The Persians and the Israelites started goin on bout some religious war between each other and nuked the shit outta each other. Refugees start pouring in from Israel, so we just figured we'd send in the troops. Took some 5 years, but we got the region under a white governor. Realizing the Empire was startin to burden us, Chancellor Williams spun off the lily-white Caribbean and Central America as separate Confederations where we had privileges. They basically rednecks anyhow. In 2030, the Illuminists finally shattered, and guess who went into Eastern Europe to restore order? Carolina did. Even went into Western Europe and the British Isles. I'ma tell y'all right now, I don't know what they saw wrong with the Irish. Feisty, hard drinking, red headed gals with a mean uppercut? Shit, that's fantasy material, even if they're Catholic. Scots are even better cuz they Presbyterian the way God intended. Italians are nice too, though I wouldn't want one fo a Mama. Had bout another 15 years of peace. Lots of cultural assimilation goin on, and lots of Carolina boys goin overseas lookin for money and poontang. Then, in 2045, the final grand campaign. Asia was weak as shit what with them nukin each other a couple of times and warlordin. Even the Fascist Japs was outta nukes. Some country over there started some shit, and we let it rip. Even nuked the Japs a couple of times. Which leaves us at today, with Carolina triumphant. We broke up the empire a bit to make it easier to manage.
North America is the center of the world today. Obviously, y'all have the Confederation of Greater Carolina, stretching from Far Northwest Carolina (Alaska) to Extremely Southwest Carolina (Southern Mexico). Confederation of the Caribbean (minus the Jackson (Virgin) Islands) and the Confederation of Central America are happy client states, and as redneck as we are. The Confederation of Greater New England is as pissed off as it is impotent, and it's more impotent than a dickless 80 year old. We like laughin at em as we tour Independence Hall. We bout totally stamped out the AFC and replaced it with Presbyterianism. Also done sent all the black folks back to Africa.
South America has several components. You have West Jacksonland (Brazil) which has also seen it's black population sent back to Africa. Ya got the Amazon Jungle Prison where we send all the ideological radicals and rebels from across the Confederation. Confederation of Grand Columbia (plus Peru) is still a bit brown fer our liking, but I assure y'all, the fine men of Carolina are hard at work changing that. Ya also have West Yonderland in ol Argentina and Chile, which is a very useful source of white folk, even if they tend to be kinda swarthy.
Europe has also been divided in unique ways to serve our needs. Ireland has been directly annexed as West Gambleland. Scotland is North Gambleland, and England/Wales is Gambleland. France, Belgium, and Iberia been united into the Confederation of West Europe. Need work on their English, but they ain't too bad otherwise. Thought about puttin Italy in it too, but the location and climate was too good for colonization for that to happen. Oh it's South Gambleland by the way. Netherlands been turned into Vanceland, in honor of Zebulon Vance. Guy had some kooky ideas, but he was on the right track, what with restorin the South n all. Scandinavia been turned into East Gambleland, and it is the #1 pick for Carolina boys to go marry locals. Gotta love them tall blonde Protestant gals. Makes it easier to make em Presbyterian. Germany and Austria been united into North Hamptonland. Love the beer, just gotta finish dealing with the language and the Papists. The Balkans done been turned into the Confederation of the Balkans. Collapses into civil war bout every 10-20 years. We don't mind. Keeps the troops sharp, and they'll either learn to stop or leave the place open for colonization. Poland, Ukraine, and the Baltics all been made the Confederation of Eastern Europe. Russia up to the Urals is Jacksonland-in-Russia. We ain't like the Yankees. Long as they European or some other kinda civilized/white group, we aight with em.
The Middle East is home to the Presbyterian State of Israel. The Jews was allowed back if they converted, then we been swamping the place with other White Presbyterians. We built Greater Israel! And the HQ of the Presbyterian Church of the Carolinas is located on the Temple Mount. Big ass cathedral. After all, if we ain't the Chosen faith and people, how do you explain the last 120 years? We also got Oriental Jacksonland in former Turkey, complete with a capitol in Constantinople. Rest o the Middle East is still under military rule, but we on the verge of making it a formal colony.
Africa is divided into a series of colonies. They are Jacksonland, North Jacksonland, South Jacksonland, East Jacksonland, Northeast Jacksonland, Northwest Jacksonland, Central Jacksonland, Polkland, Central Polkland, North Polkland, South Polkland, West Polkland, Yonderland, North Yonderland, and East Yonderland. There are lotsa plantations here, as well as white settlements. Blacks and whites live they own ways of life in separate but equal communities. Let's move on...
Asia's an interesting place. I guess we started adopting some Yankee beliefs, and expanded em, so now Koreans, Japanese, and some Chinese are ok to mix with. India been turned into it's own Confederation, and it's doin aight. Troops have to be deployed occasionally, but it's actually not bad. Australia got turned into Jacksonland-Down-Under, and is a very popular colonization spot. Native white Aussies are still pissy bout the name, which is half the reason we did in the first place! Indonesia been made Far East Yonderland. It's been a bitch to deal with, but it ain't nothin firebombs and time can't help. Asian Russia been turned into Russia-Over-Yonder. Fully colonized too. Japan's still sore bout bein made Far Eastern Jacksonland, but they're pretty docile these days. Guess the Yankees housetrained em or somethin. Korea is very grateful for being saved from the Japs and Chinese, and they're officially West-Carolina-in-the-Orient. China's been made into a Confederation, one that's fairly stable. It just ain't worth the money to fight all of them. Same goes for the Confederation of Eastasia, which has Burma, Thailand, and Indochina. Too much jungle. It's much easier to economically colonize the place. We're stubborn, not stupid.
Well y'all, I hope ya liked your trip to 2099. Just remember when you go back, the Confederation shall triumph! Hark the Sound of Free Men's Voices!
How y'all doin? Can I get a Yee Yee? Aight, that's good! It's the year of our Savior 2099, yessir. Everywhere you look, Carolina and her magnificent Presbyterian faith have spread across the globe! Hark the Sound of Free Men's Voices!
Now y'all probably wonderin how in the hell little Ol'Caroline took over the world. After the Great Wars, we really expanded into Africa, putting those folks in their place. Then here comes the big part. In 1976 that Damnyankee Oswald decided that fo the Bicentennial of American independence, he was gonna "restore the Union." Sumbitch musta sent about 750,000 Yankees in the invasion force. Unfortunately for his pretty boy Boston ass, that was right when Ol' Dick Nixon decided he had enough of the boss man. That civil war shattered the Union, buying us time to beat back the part of the invasion force that hadn't been diverted yet. As y'all might've imagined, us Carolinians was mad as hell at them Yankee boys. So by God, we did sumin bout it! We rediscovered our true heritage, and drove the Damnyankee Fascists outta all the South and the Caribbean. From Ballmore to East Carolina, the Vulture spread his wings. Also got us the atomic bomb to keep ourselves safe from them outsiders.
A couple years later, them goddamned I-lluminists was acting up yammering on about Negro oppression even though they was more than happy to keep what was left of the old German Empire in Africa. So, we took all they African territories to show em who's in charge. They was pissed, but they was too distracted by the Fascists to go full a-bomb on us. Had peace fo bout a decade, but then the leftovers of Yankeeland was getting real restless. Public Virtuemen worked it to our advantage, got some poor folks to revolt. We done moved in so fast, them Yankees' heads was spinnin! We set up the Confederation of Greater New England, goin from Ohio-land to Keybeck, and shoved all the Yankee loyalists we could find there. Erything else in North America was Carolina land. Then of course, them "New Eduists" down in Brazil-land start actin a fool, so we had to go in. Made us expand our definition of white a little bit, if only cuz our boys couldn't keep they hands off them curvaceous Latinas, know what I'm sayin? Anyways, rest of the continent was a shambles of tinpot dictators and Yankee remnants, so we swept across the continent in Operation: Latin Rose. Cleared them tribes out the Amazon Jungle and started dumping Fascists, uppity black folk, Eduists, and all other sorts in there. Built a big perimeter round it and everything. Not a wall mind, just guard checkpoints. So, y'all see we had peace fo bout 15 years. We just sat round, mindin our own business, chewin tobacco and havin some fun with some good ol country girls.
Then, wouldn't ya know it, the blacks in old Yankee Africa expanded, and started yammering bout liberatin the Pinnacle Man or whatever the hell it is they do. So we rolled up our sleeves, loaded our rifles, and defended White Civilization by God! Wound up getting the whole of Africa, yessir. Had peace fo a good 10 years, till 2019. The Persians and the Israelites started goin on bout some religious war between each other and nuked the shit outta each other. Refugees start pouring in from Israel, so we just figured we'd send in the troops. Took some 5 years, but we got the region under a white governor. Realizing the Empire was startin to burden us, Chancellor Williams spun off the lily-white Caribbean and Central America as separate Confederations where we had privileges. They basically rednecks anyhow. In 2030, the Illuminists finally shattered, and guess who went into Eastern Europe to restore order? Carolina did. Even went into Western Europe and the British Isles. I'ma tell y'all right now, I don't know what they saw wrong with the Irish. Feisty, hard drinking, red headed gals with a mean uppercut? Shit, that's fantasy material, even if they're Catholic. Scots are even better cuz they Presbyterian the way God intended. Italians are nice too, though I wouldn't want one fo a Mama. Had bout another 15 years of peace. Lots of cultural assimilation goin on, and lots of Carolina boys goin overseas lookin for money and poontang. Then, in 2045, the final grand campaign. Asia was weak as shit what with them nukin each other a couple of times and warlordin. Even the Fascist Japs was outta nukes. Some country over there started some shit, and we let it rip. Even nuked the Japs a couple of times. Which leaves us at today, with Carolina triumphant. We broke up the empire a bit to make it easier to manage.
North America is the center of the world today. Obviously, y'all have the Confederation of Greater Carolina, stretching from Far Northwest Carolina (Alaska) to Extremely Southwest Carolina (Southern Mexico). Confederation of the Caribbean (minus the Jackson (Virgin) Islands) and the Confederation of Central America are happy client states, and as redneck as we are. The Confederation of Greater New England is as pissed off as it is impotent, and it's more impotent than a dickless 80 year old. We like laughin at em as we tour Independence Hall. We bout totally stamped out the AFC and replaced it with Presbyterianism. Also done sent all the black folks back to Africa.
South America has several components. You have West Jacksonland (Brazil) which has also seen it's black population sent back to Africa. Ya got the Amazon Jungle Prison where we send all the ideological radicals and rebels from across the Confederation. Confederation of Grand Columbia (plus Peru) is still a bit brown fer our liking, but I assure y'all, the fine men of Carolina are hard at work changing that. Ya also have West Yonderland in ol Argentina and Chile, which is a very useful source of white folk, even if they tend to be kinda swarthy.
Europe has also been divided in unique ways to serve our needs. Ireland has been directly annexed as West Gambleland. Scotland is North Gambleland, and England/Wales is Gambleland. France, Belgium, and Iberia been united into the Confederation of West Europe. Need work on their English, but they ain't too bad otherwise. Thought about puttin Italy in it too, but the location and climate was too good for colonization for that to happen. Oh it's South Gambleland by the way. Netherlands been turned into Vanceland, in honor of Zebulon Vance. Guy had some kooky ideas, but he was on the right track, what with restorin the South n all. Scandinavia been turned into East Gambleland, and it is the #1 pick for Carolina boys to go marry locals. Gotta love them tall blonde Protestant gals. Makes it easier to make em Presbyterian. Germany and Austria been united into North Hamptonland. Love the beer, just gotta finish dealing with the language and the Papists. The Balkans done been turned into the Confederation of the Balkans. Collapses into civil war bout every 10-20 years. We don't mind. Keeps the troops sharp, and they'll either learn to stop or leave the place open for colonization. Poland, Ukraine, and the Baltics all been made the Confederation of Eastern Europe. Russia up to the Urals is Jacksonland-in-Russia. We ain't like the Yankees. Long as they European or some other kinda civilized/white group, we aight with em.
The Middle East is home to the Presbyterian State of Israel. The Jews was allowed back if they converted, then we been swamping the place with other White Presbyterians. We built Greater Israel! And the HQ of the Presbyterian Church of the Carolinas is located on the Temple Mount. Big ass cathedral. After all, if we ain't the Chosen faith and people, how do you explain the last 120 years? We also got Oriental Jacksonland in former Turkey, complete with a capitol in Constantinople. Rest o the Middle East is still under military rule, but we on the verge of making it a formal colony.
Africa is divided into a series of colonies. They are Jacksonland, North Jacksonland, South Jacksonland, East Jacksonland, Northeast Jacksonland, Northwest Jacksonland, Central Jacksonland, Polkland, Central Polkland, North Polkland, South Polkland, West Polkland, Yonderland, North Yonderland, and East Yonderland. There are lotsa plantations here, as well as white settlements. Blacks and whites live they own ways of life in separate but equal communities. Let's move on...
Asia's an interesting place. I guess we started adopting some Yankee beliefs, and expanded em, so now Koreans, Japanese, and some Chinese are ok to mix with. India been turned into it's own Confederation, and it's doin aight. Troops have to be deployed occasionally, but it's actually not bad. Australia got turned into Jacksonland-Down-Under, and is a very popular colonization spot. Native white Aussies are still pissy bout the name, which is half the reason we did in the first place! Indonesia been made Far East Yonderland. It's been a bitch to deal with, but it ain't nothin firebombs and time can't help. Asian Russia been turned into Russia-Over-Yonder. Fully colonized too. Japan's still sore bout bein made Far Eastern Jacksonland, but they're pretty docile these days. Guess the Yankees housetrained em or somethin. Korea is very grateful for being saved from the Japs and Chinese, and they're officially West-Carolina-in-the-Orient. China's been made into a Confederation, one that's fairly stable. It just ain't worth the money to fight all of them. Same goes for the Confederation of Eastasia, which has Burma, Thailand, and Indochina. Too much jungle. It's much easier to economically colonize the place. We're stubborn, not stupid.
Well y'all, I hope ya liked your trip to 2099. Just remember when you go back, the Confederation shall triumph! Hark the Sound of Free Men's Voices!
As weird as it may sound, but I think that this is the best case scenario for this world.
with all this talk of Presbyterianism, do you have any ideas of making it go coco for cocopuffs or just plain mad?