"What Madness Is This?" Redux: The Union Forever

Discussion in 'Alternate History Discussion: Before 1900' started by Napoleon53, Sep 13, 2018.

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  1. Time Enough Nightmare angel of the Tea Rooms

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    Forget Polish Sausage, I would be worried if a RU civilian offered me...Irish Stew. Made with real Irishman.
     
  2. Born in the USSA Well-Known Member

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    "Inferior, the other other white meat! Inferior, it's what's for dinner!"
     
  3. Darksider166 Well-Known Member

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    I can imagine TTL's verision of Soylent Green made in Europe or something will have it be like "Soylent Green is inferiors".

    Plot basically boils down to the R.U's massive birthrate causes record overpopulation in the nation that's putting society at the brink of collapse, and as a result, the government begins processing inferiors in breeding farms to make the alt-Soylent Green.
     
  4. Born in the USSA Well-Known Member

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    Talk about shamrock shakes, huh?
     
  5. SuperZtar64 Lord Protector of the New Commonwealth

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    This just made me realize Shamrock shakes are gonna be back in season very soon... yum. Maybe if I visit the Madnessverse I'll get a taste of one of my great-grandfather in there.
     
  6. Sunstone77 Well-Known Member

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    Shamrock Shakes can be this timelines Molotov cocktails.
     
  7. SuperZtar64 Lord Protector of the New Commonwealth

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    Cathedral of Christ, Boston, New Commonwealth
    I wish I could like this post a million times.
     
  8. Darksider166 Well-Known Member

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    Extract from American Beverages of the End Times Era from Sweet Victory Cola to Molotov Cocktails Vol 2: 1910-1970 by Gordon Frederickton (Imperial Federation Press, 2126)

    Molotov Cocktail: The Molotov Cocktail was a beverage released in the final age of the Republican Union (1956-1974). Named so after the first person to be grinded up into one, an inferior named Vyacheslav Molotov (1890-1955). Widely renowned in America for its taste and cheap price, very little knew of its dark origins until after the collapse of the Republican Union and Federation Historians and Archaeologists uncovered it in the lost and preserved archives. It received even more popularity during and after the American Civil War (1974-1982) which saw a shortage of a lot of luxury goods including many varieties of alcohol, but given the massive numbers of Inferior Slavs wasting away in labor camps in various successive regimes, Molotov Cocktails were an easy way for many Americans to get a good drink to drown away their sorrows as their great empire collapsed around them.

    Note: I'm not the best writer, just something I wrote off the top of my head in a few minutes.
     
  9. Napoleon53 Order of Monocled Sirs ಠ_ರೃ

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    Give-that-genius.jpg
     
  10. Murica1776 Building an American Tomorrow

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    Bonus points if an Irishman named Ronald McDonald invents them
     
  11. Schnozzberry Secretly illiterate

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    Rare colorized photo of Ronald McDonald and his guerrilla core of Inferior Resistance to the Republican Union circa 1940.

    article-0-0D0B74ED000005DC-281_634x354.jpg

    I am so sorry for this, but that line reminded me of this image.
     
  12. Born in the USSA Well-Known Member

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    So ironically, TTLs version of the Protocols of the Elders of Zion, alleging a vast international Jewish conspiracy, would be somewhat true, given the substantial Jewish population of the RU combined with the scope of the country's phenomenal foreign intelligence operation.
     
  13. Napoleon53 Order of Monocled Sirs ಠ_ರೃ

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    Nothing too sexy graphics-wise, but here's what I'm thinking for the units of the GAR:

    units.png
     
  14. Threadmarks: CHAPTER 58

    Napoleon53 Order of Monocled Sirs ಠ_ರೃ

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    CHAPTER 58
    THE HOLLAND HELLHOLE

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    Dutch resistance fighters keep an eye out for Imperial troops, 1911

    At the same time as the Union invasion of Quebec and Canada, all hell was breaking lose in Europe. The Eastern Front had bogged down to a standstill, with the beginnings of a large trench network being forged. This was largely due to the fact that Europa was now diverting all sorts of resources away from the East because of the catastrophe currently unfolding in Holland and in the Bund. After the time ran out on Caesar's ultimatum to Holland, Imperial troops entered Holland guns-blazing. The commander of the Imperial invasion was 42 year-old Field Marshal Fabian Perrault, a man of lesser stature than Field Marshal Favreau and Dupond currently out tangling with the League of Tsars. He had wanted to go fight in the East against the "bloodthirsty Russians" as a noble knight, defending Western Civilization from the clutches of a madman. But he had instead been stuck orchestrating the occupation of a formerly friendly nation. Caesar told Perrault he expected a swift victory and then a turn to crush the Nords trying to take the Bund.

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    Field Marshal Fabian Perrault

    Caesar's very... simplistic... strategy was called the Clockwise plan. He wanted to simply hold off the League while he first dealt with the Central Powers going in a clockwise motion; first through Holland, then the Bund, then knock Sweden out of the war before marching on Berlin. This was all rather naive. Napoleon IV viewed himself as a chess master playing for keeps against the world in a grand game of the ages. He saw himself as one step ahead at all times, always ready to tangle with whoever would try to interrupt his "bonne chance." He had been the first world leader to recognize the military value of Traian Vuia's aeroplane, imagining them as the death knell of the aeroship era in which America and the Reich dominated. In Napoleon IV's mind, he was a man of equal glory to his grandfather and great-grandfather. It was he who would dominate the new era of the 20th century. He was only in his 50s, and had plenty of time left to conquer, he thought. In reality, the situation was grim, in spite of their technological advantage. The Imperial Diet, the rubber-stamp legislative branch of Europa, was even talking about how Caesar was leading the country right into disaster.

    That same Imperial Diet had been formed upon the birth of Europa as a friendly face to make citizens feel their opinions mattered, no matter how disparate or isolated their region might be. Each nation-state within the United Empire was allotted ten people to serve in the House of Representatives, and two to serve in the House of Lords. The House of Lords was mostly still loyal to Napoleon IV, but there were whispers in the House of Representatives that not all was well. In 1909, Napoleon IV had fired Prime Minister Raymond Courtemanche, one of the most popular men in all the Empire and a man who had loyally served the family since the days of Napoleon II. The Prime Minister had told Caesar that his aggressive nature and desire for military glory would lead France into disaster. As Courtemanche retired to his Normandy estate, he told the Dublin Times that "The lights are going out all over Europe. I know not when we shall see them lit again." Immediately, he was replaced by Othmar Derichs, an Austrian and complete blowhard who fervently believed in Napoleon IV's near divinity.

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    Prime Minister Raymond Courtemanche

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    Prime Minister Othmar Derichs

    Most of the general staff idolized Courtemanche. He was a noble man who anyone, regardless of ethnicity, could respect and believe in. Perrault himself considered the Prime Minister his personal role model. When Courtemanche was fired in 1909, the then-general Perrault was crestfallen. Derichs was a sloppy do-nothing in comparison. 1909 was also the year that Perrault's wife divorced him, just months after his promotion to field marshal. Turning to the bottle for solace, the field marshal became a drunken shell of his former self. His wife had left a field marshal of the Grand Armee for a cologne-soaked, greasy-haired, suit-wearing ball of sleaze. It was the ultimate indignity. Perrault expected the war to end badly for everyone involved, and had little desire to live to see its end. Instead, he wished to serve on the Eastern Front and die like a man, buried with full honors. He wished for glory and nobility. When the orders came down from Caesar through Derichs that he was to be placed in charge of the invasion of Holland, his spirit was crushed. He knew what these sort of invasions entailed; brutal occupation, rounding up of civilians, and executions for those who resisted. Napoleon IV was reportedly even considering order the Dutch King, his own cousin, executed "for treason against and sullying the name of the House of Bonaparte." This was simply disgusting to Perrault.

    But, though he might have been a man of many convictions, he still could not bring himself to turn down the authority of Caesar. He accepted the position and prepared himself for a miserable existence. When Imperial troops crossed the Dutch border on November 24, 1911, it was a complete slaughter. The Dutch troops were well-trained and well-equipped and had no thought of retreat. The huge losses devastated Perrault, who saw the entire thing as a senseless slaughter. Meanwhile, just a few hundred miles away in the Bund, civil war was breaking out all over. The Catholics, mostly Bavarians and the like, were coming up from the South to end the rebellions in the Free City of Hamburg and all the other self-proclaimed Protestant local governments. High King Franz Josef was cracking the whip now with brutal reprisals and mass arrests. Dissidents were tortured and shot. At the same time, the Nordic Army was about to come barrelling through.

    If this all sounds like a confusing mess, it was. It was the cataclysmic event that every Bonaparte had feared since 1800. Europe was tearing itself apart, and unlucky men such as Perrault got to have the honors of fingering the wounds. The Dutch people and the Protestant Bunders wanted nothing to do with Paris anymore. For too long had the Imperial Eagle been over-extended. Simply trying to keep up with demand for troops to get from one part of the empire to another was becoming a nightmare, and the Reich had barely seen combat yet.

    All across the empire, Holland was giving other regions ideas. In Brazil-and-Rio, one of the most awkward and fragile institutions in the world, citizens began toying with the idea of revolting. Just like Holland, none of them wanted to go die for Paris. The Republican Union was just one Gran Colombia away from their border. But when the order came for Brazil-Rio to enter a state of total war, they begrudgingly accepted. In Egypt, the Muslims there began to protest in the street against the "Infidel Empire" currently occupying most of the Middle East. In Iraq, former allies now began to smell weakness. Persia too looked on at the struggle of Imperial power to keep the colonies under control and began to look at the possibility of entering the war on their own side to unify the Middle East into a new Caliphate, new golden age for the Persian people and monarchy. In India, where the situation had never been entirely peaceful to begin with, local politicians and princes began to ponder the idea of telling Caesar "no." But, one by one, they all quietly gritted their teeth and entered the war.

    This initial near-revolt was quelled by fears of Russia literally butchering the world if it wasn't stopped, but no one was happy. But in Paris, Napoleon was happy. Everything was coming together. He knew all his peoples would come together to defeat the foes of the Empire. But what he failed to realize, quite interestingly, was that it was likely Russia he had to thank for not immediately seeing the empire shatter. The fear of Viktor the Butcher was one of the only things keeping his people from revolting. As the early months of 1912 played out before the world, Napoleon claimed, despite the disaster currently unfolding in Quebec, that the Empire was winning the war. Amsterdam was under siege, the Dutch King had fled to England to rule from exile, the League was still held at bay, and the Reich--for whatever reason--still had not properly attacked. Caesar told his officer staff, "The Empire has never known defeat, and I dare say I am getting a whiff of victory in the air." These words would prove to be very, very false.

    By March 1, Amsterdam was under Imperial occupation. Thousands were arrested and herded into camps where many starved to death or were kept in unsanitary and inhumane conditions. French, Spaniards, and Italians patrolled the streets day and night, shooting dozens of civilians daily. Standing there with blood on his hands, Perrault felt like a monster. Here he was, a devout Christian and patriot slaughtering devout Christians and patriots. Each day that passed was more and more intolerable. Every time he tried to provide civilians or prisoners with comforts, he was reprimanded by Derichs for "fraternizing with the enemy." In spite of his own feelings about the situation, however, he continued to do his job, and do it well. By late March the Dutch Army was fleeing the country and running north to Holstein. There, the Danish Republic's army had just entered the war on the Imperial side and agreed to wipe out the Dutch once and for all. At Gluckstadt, the Dutch Royal Army, some 100,000 men still, were joined by around 6,000 Bund rebels, all prepared to make a final stand. Perrault was coming up from the South and expected to finally exterminate the resistance between him and the Danes. However, just as the Danes prepared to descend from the north, the Swedish invasion of Copenhagen began. The disloyal Danish Navy, full of old monarchists who favored even Swedish rule rather than a republic, refused to engage the Swedes. Tens of thousands of Swedes came in, toppling the capital and ruthlessly rounding up the Republican government and imprisoning them. At the same time, Norway was striking from the north all along the coastline.

    Things were still grim for the Dutch Royal Army, however, as well as with their rebellious Bund allies. Perrault was still coming with a huge force to utterly destroy them. What would happen next would become known as the Gluckstadt Miracle. Thousands of Nordic, Norwegian, Swedish, English, and Scottish vessels appeared on the Holstein coast. Over the course of a week, the entire Dutch Royal Army was rescued and escaped to England, reunited with their exiled King Louis Napoleon II. This infuriated Caesar beyond words, and he began to blame Perrault for the escape. According to Napoleon, Perrault's "lack of initiative and latent pacifism" were to blame for the getaway, and he demanded the field marshal's resignation. On April 2, Perrault returned to Paris to personally lay his baton at Caesar's feet. At that same time, just across the English Channel, Winston Churchill was finally forging the Britannic Union he had so long dreamed of....
     
    Last edited: Feb 24, 2019
  15. Vuu Resident Serb expert

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    May 11, 2018
    But to fit in with the theme of the TL...

    They use napalm combined with some real noxious shit. The RU government will hide that the Inferiors do the attacks, say it's just arson, until where the attacks occurred deformed children start being born
     
  16. Whiteshore Defender of Myrcella Baratheon

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    "A Broken Clock is Right Twice a Day"
     
  17. Whiteshore Defender of Myrcella Baratheon

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    This is less because they love Caesar and more because of how they know rebellion means invasion, conquest, and genocide at the hands of the RU.
     
  18. TheImperialTheorist To theorize & imagine worlds of possibilities.

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    Caesar's empire is starting to fracture... Now Britannia will rise once more and avenge the King!
     
  19. Time Enough Nightmare angel of the Tea Rooms

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    Well the Caesar has made a mortal enemy out of the Dutch, I expect any truce or treaty between the NordReich and Europa will likely involve the return of Netherlands to Louis.

    In the meantime the Dutch can run there Colonial Empire and use the Dutch and Native troops to fight Europa.
     
    Last edited: Feb 12, 2019
  20. Worffan101 Ain't done nothing if I ain't been called a Red

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    Pride cometh before the fall.
     
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