What if the first man on the moon fell out before stepping on the moon?
- Thread starter Karlmarx900
- Start date
MatthewB
Banned
One face plant for mankind.
The Apollo Program was propaganda, so that film won’t make it. They’ll do a redo.
Dolan
Banned
"One small step for a... FUCK I LOST MY GRIP... SHIT! SHIT!!! SHIIIIIITTT!!!"
"Neil, are you ok?"
"Get your ass down here Buzz! Help me stand! This bulky suit, shitty low gravity, and no friction! God! Wait, you're still recording?"
"Oopsie?"
"Jesus! This already aired live on TVs back on Earth yes?"
"This is Houston, please stop using profanities, there are children watching this historic moment!"
"Uh... Shit happens?"
"Armstrong, you owe 100 dollars for every swearword you said to the swear jar... We'll dock your pay by $700."
"Shit..."
"$800"
"Alright, fine, why aren't you smartasses at Houston try to walk on this fucking moon all by yourself? Who has the bright idea to make this lander slippery as hell?!?"
"Armstrong, that was due to atmospheric friction during launch, and you owe us $1000."
"Tell President Nixon to pay for my swearing fines, we have a mission to do..."
"Well, here you go... Houston, I think we need to revise the suit design soon afterward, it's hard to move around here..."
"Duly noted, Aldrin, duly noted..."
...
"Neil, are you ok?"
"Get your ass down here Buzz! Help me stand! This bulky suit, shitty low gravity, and no friction! God! Wait, you're still recording?"
"Oopsie?"
"Jesus! This already aired live on TVs back on Earth yes?"
"This is Houston, please stop using profanities, there are children watching this historic moment!"
"Uh... Shit happens?"
"Armstrong, you owe 100 dollars for every swearword you said to the swear jar... We'll dock your pay by $700."
"Shit..."
"$800"
"Alright, fine, why aren't you smartasses at Houston try to walk on this fucking moon all by yourself? Who has the bright idea to make this lander slippery as hell?!?"
"Armstrong, that was due to atmospheric friction during launch, and you owe us $1000."
"Tell President Nixon to pay for my swearing fines, we have a mission to do..."
"Well, here you go... Houston, I think we need to revise the suit design soon afterward, it's hard to move around here..."
"Duly noted, Aldrin, duly noted..."
...
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All things considered "SHIT!" being the first words is an entirely plausible outcome.
Mostly it just becomes an anecdote about... I don't really know.. the fallibility of man or some such?
Mostly it just becomes an anecdote about... I don't really know.. the fallibility of man or some such?
Dolan
Banned
That, and there is no iconic picture of Neil Armstrong's first footprint on the Moon.
There will be iconic and funny picture of Neil Armstrong's first whole bodysuit print on the Moon surface, with first frantic footprints belongs to Edwin Aldrin.
But yeah, if this scenario happened live, and the first sentences humanity said on the Moon is swearwords and profanities, without even being censored... it will definitely have an impact on at least American Obscenity laws (that would only be relaxed around the end of 20th century, mind you), as in 1970s even comedians could still be charged for saying "shit" in front of large audience.
Now, with either fuck and or shit and or crap being among the first words on the Moon, I'm pretty sure said laws would be quietly withdrawn in the US.
...
USSR following through by naming their next space mission CYKA BLYAT is optional.
Dolan
Banned
Traditional Space Greetings in general, used by almost everyone in honor of Neil Armstrong's first swearwords on the moon. Maybe...Swear words become traditional cosmonaut greetings.
But this will have much more interesting repercussions on American and western obscenity laws in general.
Nixon would definitely seize the moment by saying "We fucking landed on the moon!"
In the grand scheme of things, apart from generating some laughter, humour and memes some 40 years later in the 21st century, I don't think it would matter.
People in 1969 would overlook small details like this and be more interested in the achievement of witnessing a man landing on the moon.
People in 1969 would overlook small details like this and be more interested in the achievement of witnessing a man landing on the moon.
RodentRevolution
Banned
Maybe Armstrong recalls William the Conqueror or Caesar or some other leader who took a stumble and makes up some such line as "Man takes hold of the Moon!"
He just wanted to give the moon a big hug. And test for cheese
There's a sudden loss of transmission from the moon and NASA denies it ever happened?
US obscenity laws do not apply. Armstrong, Aldrin and Collins are most definitely out of the country.