What-If: Le Femme Beatles

[Gwendolyn Ingolfsson]

Booze and listening to far too much Siouxsie & the Banshees has made me ponder ponderously:

What if the individuals who made up the group formerly known as "The Beatles" had all been born female? Just for giggles, let's assume they have the same talent, same song writing ability; they start a band, etc. They're just all cute girls now instead of lads and wear nice schoolgirl outfits on the Ed Sullivan show instead of the pseudo-Edwardian suits of OTL. Would they have had the same impact? All-female acts of course have been no big deal since the Andrews Sisters and before but would a Female Fab Four have achieved the same hights of success that their male counterparts did in our world?

P.S. - It occurs to me that Lennon, Harrison and Starr would make truly fugly women. When the announcer said "And here they are, THE BEATLES!" before a show there would a lot of screaming, just as in OTL. . .and then a huge stampede for the door. So, let’s transmute their femme versions into Britneyesque hotties.

P.P.S. - I'll be starting work again on the "Soviet Deng Xiaopeng" timeline in January. I've been sidetracked of late by work, vacation and all that other stuff that makes up ye olde Real Life.

 

[JoanneMerriam]

No. Part of the initial success of The Beatles can be attributed to the success any boy band has - their smooth, almost prepubescent-looking faces make wonderful non-threatening fantasy material for 13 y.o. girls. Without that factor, I can't see "Beatles mania" happening. I could however totally see them being just as influential musically.

Btw are you actually named Gwendolyn? Am I now officially not the only woman on these boards?

 

[Kurt_Steiner]

Perhaps I'm gonna be a bit politically incorrect, but, it would be funny the see the Femme-Beatles. If the Beatles had a wonderful tendency to quarrel between themselves due to artistical reason, I cannot help imaging (hi, mrs. lennon) how would be a meeting between the female version.

 

[Kit]

Her username is the name of a S M Stirling character from an alternate history series called The Domination.

According to her profile she is indeed of the female persuasion. And ginger. Which I think is very brave!

She's been a member since May. Doesn't post very often though.

So, it looks as if in the past few days the number of women on the AH boards has doubled! Impressive.

 

[JoanneMerriam]

We're taking over.

 

[Landshark]

We're taking over.

Are you accepting quislings?

 

[cow defender]

took you long enough...

 

[Kurt_Steiner]

Are you accepting quislings?

Me, me, me, me!!!!

 

[Kit]

Which side am I counted on?

 

[Michael]

I seem to remember there being at last count, 5 females

 

[Landshark]

Which side am I counted on?

I thought you didn't do drag?

 

[Gwendolyn Ingolfsson]

No. Part of the initial success of The Beatles can be attributed to the success any boy band has - their smooth, almost prepubescent-looking faces make wonderful non-threatening fantasy material for 13 y.o. girls. Without that factor, I can't see "Beatles mania" happening. I could however totally see them being just as influential musically.

Hmmm. So they would have an impact more like. . .the Pixies, perhaps, rather than Nirvana? Someone once said that not a lot of people have ever heard of the Pixies, but that almost everyone who did started a band. Very influential in that way, far out of proportion to their actual fame. The Wipers are another group in that vein that springs to mind.

Btw are you actually named Gwendolyn? Am I now officially not the only woman on these boards?

Well, I *am* a femme. I think that there are more of us here than you might suspect!

 

[Leo Caesius]

The Velvet Underground also belong to that category.

 

[Gwendolyn Ingolfsson]

Her username is the name of a S M Stirling character from an alternate history series called The Domination.

According to her profile she is indeed of the female persuasion. And ginger. Which I think is very brave!

Hmpf. I'm proud of me flaming hair!

She's been a member since May. Doesn't post very often though.

So, it looks as if in the past few days the number of women on the AH boards has doubled! Impressive.

Real life keeps getting in the way. Curse you, Real Life(tm)!

 

[Gwendolyn Ingolfsson]

The Velvet Underground also belong to that category.

That's another band I was trying to think of; couldn't remember their name. I think a female Beatles, provided they had good voices and really big, um, talent would in time grow to be as popular as in OTL. There just might not be the initial flush of "Beatlemania" as happened here. Hmm. This may make an interesting short story, I don't think anyone has ever done it before. . .

 

[JoanneMerriam]

Yeah, like the Pixies. And everybody would think the Beach Boys did it all first (like Nirvana), except for music geeks who would know how deeply they'd been influenced by The Beatles.

They'd also stay together longer, without the Yoko factor, though they might have broken up when they had kids, since it was the '60s.

 

[Kit]

Hmpf. I'm proud of me flaming hair!

So you should be! I've always been a supporter of civil rights for gingers.

They already have to deal with so much prejudice. Personally I like them. Their glowing, fluroscent hair can come in very handy. Acts sort of like landing lights at an airport, means you can turn the lights off!

 

[Tyr]

Their upbringing and early experiences would be very different if they were girls so even discounting butterflys its likely they wouldn't get interested in music or even be any good at it.

A big part of the Beatles fanbase was screaming girls too and even today you don't get men acting in the same way.

 

[cow defender]

what would la femme beatles do abou feminism or the sexual revolution? btw i'd love to see some of their songs!

 

[JoanneMerriam]

... or even be any good at it.

Thanks for your enlightened attitude.

I think it's far more likely they wouldn't have gotten into music because nobody would have given them lessons and when they wanted to buy instruments, salesmen would have been pretty patronizing and possibly refuse. Afaik in 1963 there weren't any women playing their own instruments - women in music were vocalists. It probably wouldn't have occurred to them that it was something they could do. But that's nothing to do with ability.

The more I think about this, the more I have trouble imagining a female John Lennon. Oddly enough I've no trouble imagining the others as women, especially Paul.