Ladies in the court of Cleves were not schooled in the romantic literature of their contemporaries. Hence the huge headdresses that made it hard for Henry's men to see their faces. "What, would you see them naked?" was supposedly Anna's brother's reply to their complaint of this. It was an entirely different upbringing than Katherine of Aragon or Anne Boleyn, the idea of hot Saturday night date wasn't playing coy with courtiers, it was embroidering altar cloths. The women weren't schooled in music - that was considered 'light' (read: tease) behavior. This was why Anna did not respond the way Katherine of Aragon always had to his masquerades and Boleyn after her - both of these women knew the rules of courtly love. Henry didn't think she was ugly until after he was humiliated (in his mind) by her not recognizing him. It had to be her fault, I mean, she just arrived in the country, didn't speak the language and was watching the bull-baiting when this huge man in a cape and sloppy hat shows up and starts flirting with her - she was supposed to (in courtly love tradition) recognize him at once and swoon from his masculine presence. Instead, she ignored him as best she could, because she was supposed to be pure and chaste and left alone by strangers (she was supposed to be protected from highwaymen - which is what, I suppose, she thought the disguised Henry was).
The whole charade and failure of things was Henry's fault. Period. He allowed for no viewpoint except his own. He blamed Cromwell, but Cromwell didn't force him to play-act the secret lover and expect a woman raised stricter than a nun to react with passion. I'm sure the same thing would have happened with Amalia - she was raised in the same court of thought as her sister.