We saw how the US reacted to increasing tensions IOTL with the trouble in Mexico and the war in Europe, where basically it took over a year of talking to arrive at a politically acceptable path to expansion coupled with a coupe of key flashpoints.
On all your points that you raise, this is the one that I find as the only real point of contention, and that is that you seem to be thinking that OTL should serve as a reasonable approximation of a starting point for America's actions here, which I feel it is not.
In OTL, the US is going to have to face the possibility that it may need to use military force in a 'police action' type of situation against the problems in Mexico spilling over into the US side of the boarder. So not even a war with mexico, but rather just some limited intervention, and even if that were to take place, there would be time to train up an army to do so...
I think in this ATL, however, the US is going to have to face the possibility of war with the UK. War with the UK is also going to mean war with the rest of the British Empire, and possibly the Dominions, as well. It also means, more likely than not, the US could reasonably assume the unlikely but not impossible situation where the French and Japanese Empires might declare war on the USA, as well. All this, mind you, still doesn't mean that the problems in Mexico are going to go away, far from it, and might some of the new potential enemies think to themselves,
"gee, look at the already pre-existing conditions in US-Mexican relations. We could just simply ally with Mexico, and instantly have an ally to immediately give the USA a land-warfare southern front, and the British empire can stage troops to Canada, and give the USA a nice land warfare northern front, while the Japanese Empire can base it's fleets on the Canadian west coast, and the British Empire can base it's navy in Mexico, Nova Scotia, Bermuda, and the Canadian coast/St Lawrence river." Note that none of this needs to happen, just that the US public needs to be made to fear that it might happen. And how bad things could go from there, such as coastal raids, blockades, and invasions of all three US coasts, at the same time, and while already fighting two ground warfare fronts...
So I don't see OTL serving anything at all like a template for this ATL. For something that may make some kinda sense, I could see the US reaching out to the Germans, long before things get anywhere to the point where relations are for sure going to start going south with the UK, but rather more like within the month of the UK's blockade being announced, and asking for a submarine to sail to the US, with engineers and civilian shipyard personnel aboard, that can help the US determine what they would need to do , in the unlikely event of a shooting war with the UK dragging the USA into it on Germany's side, to prepare to not only provide parts and munitions, but to also build submarines in the US shipyards, both for the German and US navies, and to develop operational plans for joint US-German naval actions in the Atlantic Ocean, Caribbean, and Gulf of Mexico.