Tonight, In This Very Ring: A Collection of Wrestling Timelines

[Megafighter3]

The Great American Bash 2004

Venue: Norfolk Scope in Norfolk, Virginia
Attendance: 6,500
Announce Team: Michael Cole/Tazz​

Alright, so what's different with this PPV?

The Dudley Boyz (c) d. Booker T/Rob Van Dam for the WWE Tag Team Championship

The mismatched team of Book and RVD try to take the tag titles from the Dudleyz and they get close, but the two can't get along and RVD eats a 3D.

John Bradshaw Layfield (c) d. John Cena in a Texas Bullrope Match for the WWE United States Championship

We have ourselves a bloodbath here. Both men do color for this to really get them both over. Clothesline from Wall Street leaves Cena down for JBL to touch all four buckles to keep.

Triple H d. Eddie Guerrero (c) in a No Disqualification Match for the WWE Championship

And now the moment we all dread. Reign of Terror 2.0. Trips and Eddie go all out with weapons and plunder, ending with a Pedigree on the chair. But as Hunter celebrates the lights go out.

Gong. Gong.

Lights come on and Undertaker's got a hand around Triple H's throat. Chokeslam. Tombstone the chair. Lights out. Gong. Gong. Lights on. Undertaker gone.

So, Hunter went on rampage in the lead up. Pedigrees to anyone and everyone to get this match. However, he made the mistake of delivering a Pedigree to Paul Bearer, which got Undertaker seeing red. He wants Hunter's ass now.

 

[Noblesse Oblige]

And subscribed...also dangit Triple H is champ again, but I suppose Brock Lesnar staying and Trips on Smackdown won't change the price of tea in China.

 

[eldandythedoubter]

And subscribed...also dangit Triple H is champ again, but I suppose Brock Lesnar staying and Trips on Smackdown won't change the price of tea in China.

Dude, it could be worse. Otl 2004 saw him hog the main event from Benoit, job out Randy, and then lead to a 3 day vacancy only for him to win the whc again.

 

[Noblesse Oblige]

I remember it, was still pretty butt hurt from the Summerslam 2003 Elimination Chamber if you ask me, but there's a reason why Reign of Terror was such a bad time.

 

[Megafighter3]

Vengeance 2004

Venue: Hartford Civic Center in Hartford, Connecticut
Attendance: 7,000
Announce Team: Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler​

Heat: Tyson Tomko (w/Trish Stratus) d. Val Venis (w/Nidia)

Keep this one from OTL. Nothing wrong with Tomko.

Rhyno/Tajiri d. Garrison Cade/Jonathan Coachman

Why... okay, cut this short because of my rule for Coachman matches should always go below five minutes. He eats the Gore here.

Shelton Benjamin (c) d. Ric Flair (w/Batista) for the WWE Intercontinental Championship

Shelton puts on a solid match with Ric Flair, fighting off interference from Batista before hitting an exploder suplex to win the match. Give them fifteen minutes.

Rob Conway/Eugene d. Chris Jericho/Edge (c) for the World Tag Team Championship

We do something weird with Conway and Eugene. We hint at a sort of Festus thing going on with Eugene, that he isn't actually a savant or mentally handicapped or what have you, but that he's had his head tampered with by drugs. It's a tasteless play, but Rob's here to try and help his former OVW partner out of this funk. He thinks that becoming tag champions together will be a good step to bring him back. And they manage the second upset of the night, Eugene managing to roll up Jericho and win the tag belts. The two celebrate, but Eugene's not cured instantly. It's a long journey.

Matt Hardy d. Kane in a No Disqualification Match

Yep, this match stays from OTL.

Victora d. Molly Holly

The winner gets a shot for the Women's Championship and the match goes as OTL.

Brock Lesnar d. Randy Orton

In the co-main event, Lesnar finally gets his hands on Orton, finishing off Evolution here. Orton uses tricks and cheats to get the advantage, but Lesnar outpowers and outwrestles him. F5 to finish the match.

Chris Benoit (c) d. Shawn Michaels for the World Heavyweight Championship

In place of Triple H, we have HBK get another shot at Benoit, let these guys do 30 minutes and end it with the Crossface. After that comes Brock though to give and F5 to Benoit. He's done with Evolution and now he's gonna go right for the belt.

 

[Megafighter3]

SummerSlam 2004

Venue: Air Canada Centre in Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 18,000
Announce Teams: Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler (RAW) Michael Cole/Tazz (SmackDown!)​

Heat: Mordecai d. Rene Dupree

A crossover match between the two brands with Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler at the table, Mordecai avoids the barfight he got into in OTL and gets to continue on the main show. The Pale Rider defeats Dupree with the Crucifix.

The Dudley Boyz (Bubba/D-Von/Spike) (c) d. Billy Kidman/Paul London/Rey Mysterio in a Six-Man Tag Team Match for the WWE Tag Team Championship

Take the OTL match and put the belts on the line. Just give the Dudleyz another defense and add some heat to the match.

Rob Conway/Eugene (c) d. Evolution (Randy Orton/Batista) (w/Ric Flair) for the World Tag Team Championship

Conway and Eugene continue their underdog run, taking on Evolution who look to make them whipping boys before the two manage to mount a comeback, Conway hitting the Whiplash on Orton before Rob tags in Eugene, who comes off the top with a Savage Elbow. Eugene's been getting more lucid thanks to Conway helping him get clean off the drugs Eric Bischoff was keeping him on, but he's not there yet. But this is a big step. They two celebrate the big defense while Batista and Orton take to shouting at each other, Flair coming in to cool them down.

Matt Hardy d. Kane in a "'Till Death Do Us Part" Match

Matt, as opposed to OTL, puts an end to the Kane feud with the Twist of Fate because we really don't need the stupid marriage/rape/miscarriage angle that followed from all this.

Kurt Angle (w/Luther Reigns) d. Eddie Guerrero

Keep this match from OTL. Nothing wrong with this.

John "Bradshaw" Layfield (c) d. Booker T for the WWE United States Championship

The first match in a best of five between Booker and JBL. Just two Texas tough boys doing texas tough fighting for the crowd, ending with a Clothesline From Wall Street (or Hell. Same difference, really.)

Shelton Benjamin (c) d. Edge, Chris Jericho, and Rob Van Dam in a Fatal Four-Way Match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship

So, I was gonna go with Edge winning as he did in OTL, but then I saw that he had gotten injured and decided that instead, have Shelton retain after catching Edge's spear into an Exploder to get the duke. Trust me, this'll be good for Unforgiven.

Triple H (c) d. John Cena and the Undertaker in a Triple Threat Match for the WWE Championship

So, I was setting up for Triple H vs. Undertaker and was lucky to find that JBL vs. Undertaker was on the show for the title. But then I took Cena out of the US title match so you know what? Fuck it, throw him in too. He eats the Pedigree here so we don't have to do the DQ finish. Man, John Cena getting buried at SummerSlam. Is that good karma or bad karma for the TL?

Brock Lesnar (w/Paul Heyman) d. Chris Benoit (c) for the World Heavyweight Championship

So, retcon time but Paul totally drafted to RAW ITTL and has been reunited with Brock. He's the one who convinced Brock to go after Evolution to stake his claim as the top dog of RAW before going after Benoit to destroy him. And destroy Benoit he does. just going full-on Beast Mode on the Crippler. F5 puts Benoit away and Brock Lesnar has gold once again. And he's got his mouthpiece Heyman because Brock was never a great talker. But he's got super talented talker Heyman verbally thrashing everyone that Lesnar gets his eyes on so all is good.

 

[eldandythedoubter]

Man, John Cena getting buried at SummerSlam. Is that good karma or bad karma for the TL?

Well, that depends how long you keep the belt on Trips. If Cena gets another good feud with Eddie, Booker, and Kurt between now and Mania, he'll be in title contention again.

 

[Megafighter3]

Unforgiven 2004

Venue: Rose Garden in Portland, Oregon
Attendance: 10,000
Announce Team: Jim Ross/Jerry lawler​

And now we're back to the key matches being talked about. Again, most of the OTL card is fine and it's more important here to focus on the big changes.

Chris Benoit/William Regal d. Evolution (Batista/Randy Orton) (w/Ric Flair)

Orton taps to the Crossface here and the tensions that had been growing between Orton and Batista boil over, resulting in Orton taking a Batista Bomb in the post-match, Flair and Batista leaving the ring without him.

Shelton Benjamin (c) d. Christian in a Ladder Match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship

We switch out Jericho with Shelton, let him continue his run as IC champion. Good stuff.

Rob Conway/Nick Dinsmore (c) d. Rhyno/Tajiri for the World Tag Team Championship

And he's back to Nick Dinsmore! Eugene is no more! Jim Cornette is breathing a sigh of relief over in Louisville. The two manage to beat the former ECW guys to retain the tag belts. Lords of the Ring!

Brock Lesnar (c) (w/Paul Heyman) d. Chris Jericho for the World Heavyweight Championship

You know, I could've called this TL "Here Comes the Pain" How did I miss that? Anyway, Jericho is sent to the slaughter now because he and Brock can have a good match. F5 ends it once again as Brock remains on top.

 

[Megafighter3]

No Mercy 2004

Venue: Continental Airlines Arena in East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 10,000
Announce Team: Michael Cole/Tazz​

Let's see what we have on tap here.

Mordecai d. Charlie Haas

Just keep the gimmick rolling here, maybe use this and house show matches to help season Mordecai. Crucifix to get the fall. Hear him. Fear him.

The Dudley Boyz (c) d. Rey Mysterio/Rob Van Dam for the WWE Tag Team Championship

The Dudleyz keep here over Rey and Van Dam, along with Spike keeping his Cruiserweight title over Nunzio. 3D to RVD.

JBL d. Booker T (c) for the United States Championship

It started with JBL winning and ends with JBL winning. That's the best of five wrapped with another Clothesline from Hell Wall Street. Good stuff. Texas tough boys.

Triple H (c) d. The Undertaker in a Last Ride Match for the WWE Championship

And we take the OTL match, but with Triple H in there and have Triple H toss Undertaker into the hearse without assistance. Good solid matchup and it's nice to have Triple H on top here going against someone who he can have a good match with rather than just him burying Orton.

 

[Megafighter3]

Taboo Tuesday 2004

Venue: Bradley Center in Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Capacity: 7,000
Announce Team: Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler​

Okay, since this PPV is built around a polling system, we're gonna have ourselves a full card to really get our heads around the whole set up.

Dark Match: Muhammed Hassan (w/Daivari) d. Sgt. Slaughter

Rather than play him as a Muslim-American, we play more to Cornette's version of Hassan being Mark Magnus, who converted to Islam and rejected America after their treatment of the Muslim people after 9/11. He's a heel, but he also makes a lot of good points. He beats Slaughter here and if we do bring this up in this TL, we can have him point out the Sarge's hypocrisy. I mean, he did support Saddam Hussein in the 90s, so who is he to judge Hassan showing sympathy for the innocent Muslims caught up in the war? You know, stuff like that.

First Poll: Opponent for Shelton Benjamin

Chris Jericho (37.48%)
Batista (20.11%)
Christian (13.70%)
Rhyno (10%)
The Hurricane (6.26%)
William Regal (6.05%)
Tajiri (4.05%)
Rosey (1.10%)
Chuck Palumbo (0.68%)
Rodney Mack (0.58%)

Shelton Benjamin (c) d. Chris Jericho for the WWE Intercontinental Championship

It's the OTL match, but Jericho is the challenger now and the champ retains here. Shelton keeps with the T-Bone Suplex.

Second Poll: Outfit for the Fulfill Your Fantasy Diva Battle Royal

School Girl (53.10%)
French Maid (30.03%)
Nurse Outfit (16.87%)

Trish Stratus (c) wins the Fulfill Your Fantasy Battle Royal for the WWE Women's Championship

Entrants: Carmella (no, not that one), Christy Hemme, Gail Kim, Jazz, Molly Holly, Nidia, Stacy Kiebler, Trish Stratus, Victoria

Yeah, this match stays in OTL, but we throw in the Diva Search entry and cut the Lingerie Pillow Fight from the card. Just... get the cheesecake out of the way. We can all be ashamed of ourselves later.

Third Poll: Stipulation for the Conway/Dinsmore vs. Kane/Snitsky

Tables (40.84%)
Ladder (29.93%)
Dog Collar (29.24%)

Rob Conway/Nick Dinsmore (c) d. Kane/Gene Snitsky in a Tables Match for the World Tag Team Championship

Bischoff's not happy about the fact that his "nephew" is out of his control so he plans to get the belts of Conway and Dinsmore, throwing them to the monsters. However, the two hold out and work together in comparison to Kane and Snitsky and a Whiplash by Conway puts Snitsky through the table, winning them the match.

Fourth Poll: Opponent for Brock Lesnar

Shawn Michaels (38.72%)
Edge (33.42%)
Chris Benoit (27.86%)

Brock Lesnar (c) (w/Paul Heyman) d. Shawn Michaels for the World Heavyweight Championship

Brock goes through Michaels, putting on another great match here as Brock puts HBK away with the F5.

Final Poll: Stipulation for Randy Orton vs. Ric Flair

Steel Cage (68%)
Falls Count Anywhere (20%)
Submission (12%)

Randy Orton d. Ric Flair in a Steel Cage Match

Same match as OTL, though instead of ending with a handshake, Batista rips open the door to go after Orton, hitting him with a Batista Bomb to set up a future match.

 

[Megafighter3]

Survivor Series 2004

Venue: Gund Arena in Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 15,000
Announce Team: Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler (RAW) Michael Cole/Tazz (SmackDown!)​

Alright! Another full card because we got us a Big 4 PPV!

Heat: Rob Van Dam/John Cena d. The Hurricane and Rosey

Let's just get these two on the show somewhere in a fun little tag match. FU into a Five-Star Frog Splash to Rosey wins it.

Spike Dudley (c) d. Billy Kidman for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship

We cut two guys out of this match and make it a single. Spike still keeps after a springboard legdrop.

Shelton Benjamin (c) d. Christian (w/Tyson Tomko) for the WWE Intercontinental Championship

Keep this match from OTL.

Team Guerrero (Eddie Guerrero/Chavo Guerrero/Rey Mysterio/Carlito) d. Team Angle (Kurt Angle/JBL/Luther Reigns/Mark Jindrak) in a 4-on-4 Survivor Series SmackDown Elimination Match

So, Eddie's got some teammates and Team Angle gets someone in place of Carlito. Reigns and Jindrak are taken out thanks to the united front that Team Guerrero presents early on. However, JBL and Angle manage to take out Carlito and Chavo next before Rey manages a surprise roll-up on JBL to send him out. Towards the end, Angle manages to catch Rey with an Angle slam to pin him but is left prone for a Frog Splash, Eddie becoming the Sole Survivor for his team.

The Undertaker d. Mordecai

So, I may as well put this idea to bed. Maybe have Mordecai attack Undertaker at No Mercy to cost him the match to set things up, but this isn't a WrestleMania match. We cap it here with the Tombstone to send Mordecai off.

Lita d. Trish Stratus (c) for the WWE Women's Championship by disqualification

Keep this match from OTL, though the chair shot is an accidental hit from Matt, costing Lita the match. Well, shit. Good job, Matt.

Triple H (c) d. Booker T for the WWE Championship

Sorry, Book. But it looks like people like you still don't get to be world champion. This is good, but the crowd's probably gonna turn on this title run after giving it some post-draft leeway.

Team Lesnar (Brock Lesnar/Kane/Edge/Batista) (w/Paul Heyman and Ric Flair) d. Team Orton (Randy Orton/Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho/Maven) in a 4-on-4 Survivor Series RAW Elimination Match

Batista destroys Maven pretty quickly, putting Team Orton at a disadvantage. However, Kane gets taken out to even things up thanks to a combo of Benoit and Jericho. Edge gets the next elimination with a Spear to Benoit, but Jericho puts him away with a Lionsault. Orton gets an early bit of revenge on Batista thanks to an RKO, but soon both him and Jericho are torn apart by Lesnar, who becomes the Sole Survivor of his team and wins control of RAW for Paul Heyman. Paul cheers as he now has all the power on Monday nights. Can anyone topple the Beast?

 

[Megafighter3]

Armageddon 2004

Venue: Gwinnett Center in Duluth, Georgia
Attendance: 10,000
Announce Team: Michael Cole/Tazz​

Heat: Akio/Kenzo Suzuki (w/Hiroko) d. Billy Kidman/Paul London

We do some jiggering, put Kidman and London together and team Yang with Suzuki (who finally shows up in the TL which should tell you how much I care about him) and the "Japanese" stars (you don't have to tell me that Yang's father is Korean. You think Vince cares?) take the duke.

Rey Mysterio/Rob Van Dam d. The Dudley Boyz (c) for the WWE Tag Team Championship

And the Dudleyz finally drop the titles as we wrap up 2004. Five-Star Frog Splash to D-Von gives them the belts.

Kurt Angle d. Santa Claus

Yes. Seriously. Kurt Angle wrestled Santa. And he tapped him out. What, he couldn't even get to wrestle Jesus? Was God still salty about his tag match against the McMahons with Shawn? Not Shawn's fault that God never tagged in! ...What the fuck am I talking about?

Daniel Puder d. Mike Mizanin

So, instead of a Dixie Dog Fight (Holy shit, Ruthless Aggression) we just have them wrestle a match and Puder taps Mizanin out with the keylock. Unlike the Mordecai experiment, I think we can run with Puder for a lot longer. You just gotta protect him by selling him as a legit dude who doesn't play around. At least for now until he can start getting it together in the ring. Quick submission squashes are what you do with Puder while you teach him on off TV.

The Basham Brothers d. Charlie Haas/Hardcore Holly

Keep this match from OTL.

John "Bradshaw" Layfield (c) d. Carlito for the WWE United States Championship

We keep up JBL's anti-"Mexican" (he doesn't care that Carlito's Peurto Rican) by having him beat down on the young Colon, getting him with the Clothesline From Hell to retain.

Dawn Marie d. Miss Jackie (Guest Ref: Charlie Haas)

Same match from OTL.

John Cena/Big Show d. Team Angle (Kurt Angle/Luther Reigns/Mark Jindrak)

Cena teams up with Big Show to take on Team Angle. Cena wins the match with an FU to Jindrak.

Chavo Guerrero d. Funaki and Spike Dudley (c) for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship

Chavo wins the Cruiserweight title, hitting the Three Amigos, one to Funaki, then one to Spike and then a third to Funaki to get the pin. Oooh~ Chavo~

Triple H (c) d. Booker T, Eddie Guerrero and the Undertaker for the WWE Championship

And Hunter continues his reign on top, taking on the Sole Survivor of Team Guerrero, the Deadman and the guy here to eat the pin. Sorry again, Book. Guys, I love Booker T, but I'd be slipping into ASB territory if Triple H wasn't fucking going over at this point. Pedigree to Booker ends it after Eddie wipes him and Undertaker out (Oh God, no. Don't book that, Mega. Do not book that!) as Triple H stands tall still.

 

[eldandythedoubter]

At this rate, JBL's gonna have to be the defense of no real significance.

 

[Megafighter3]

New Year's Revolution 2005

Venue: Coliseo de Puerto Rico in San Juan, Puerto Rico
Attendance: 16,000
Announce Team: Jim Ross/Jonathan Coachman​

Dark Match: The Hurricane (w/Rosey) d. Maven

Unlike Puder, I don't really have much use for Maven. Frankly, I'm surprised he's still here. Guess it's that really nice dropkick of his.

Rob Conway/Nick Dinsmore (c) d. Christian/Tyson Tomko for the World Tag Team Championship

Conway and Dinsmore continue their run as underdog tag champs, with Tomko falling to the combination Whiplash and Elbow Drop.

Trish Stratus d. Lita (c) for the WWE Women's Championship

Same match from OTL.

Shelton Benjamin (c) d. William Regal for the WWE Intercontinental Championship

A nice upgrade from Maven. We give them a solid ten minutes for this and have them work a good match for the crowd with Shelton hitting the T-Bone Suplex for the win.

Muhammad Hassan (w/Daivari) d. Jerry Lawler

So, we have this midcard feud classic (because someone said Jerry Lawler needed to be a face. If it were me, he'd be on the table talking up how Hassan is right) but here's the wrinkle; Sylvain Grenier comes for the assist. Been a long time since we've seen Sylvain, but now seems like a good time to play into both the anti-Muslim and anti-French sentiment WWE's got going on. It's a two-for-one special of Vince's political high horse. So yeah, Sylvain comes out to interfere, costing Lawler the match and helps in the beatdown after the match. Viva la Resistance!

Kane d. Snitsky

Yeah, Kane's kind of sick of this boy Snitsky. Sure, he didn't cause a miscarriage and he hasn't sniffed the inside of Kane's boots like a weirdo (though who knows? Maybe that's why they're feuding now) but Kane's just not gonna have any of Snitsky and beats him like he did IOTL.

Brock Lesnar (c) d. Batista (w/Ric Flair), Chris Benoit, Chris Jericho, Edge and Randy Orton in an Elimination Chamber Match for the World Heavyweight Championship

Instead of vacating the title like they did IOTL, let's have Brock be champ heading into the Chamber. The match starts with Benoit and Jericho, followed by Brock coming out and going Beast Mode on them. Edge comes in next and he gets tossed around a bit too. Orton comes in and he gets thrown too while the Canadians go at each other. Finally, Batista charges out, taking over beating on Orton as the feud between the two continues.

The first to go out is Edge, taken out by Jericho as he was in OTL with a Lionsault. Then goes Benoit, being given a triple powerbomb out by Lesnar. Lesnar finishes off the Canadian presence in the match with an F5 to Jericho. Orton gets his bearings against Batista and snaps off an RKO to eliminate the Animal, Batista. However, Batista gets off a Batista Bomb, leaving him prone to an F5 for Lesnar to retain. Lesnar dominated 2004 and looks to do the same in 2005. Can anyone stop this Beast?

 

[Hulkster'01]

So basically HHH still gets to have his reign of terror?

 

[Megafighter3]

So basically HHH still gets to have his reign of terror?

Look, you don't understand his plight. He has to work Tuesdays.

 

[farmerted555]

Look, you don't understand his plight. He has to work Tuesdays.

Work Tuesdays? Good Lord, what EVER is Terra Ryzing to do?!

 

[Megafighter3]

Royal Rumble 2005

Venue: Save Mart Center at Fresno State in Fresno, California
Attendance: 15,000
Announce Team: Michael Cole/Jerry Lawler (Pre-Rumble) Jim Ross/Tazz (Royal Rumble)​

Heat: Rhyno d. Maven

Seriously, why the fuck is Maven still here? And who is telling him that he's going over Rhyno? To hell with that! GORE!

Edge d. Shawn Michaels

Sure, keep this match from OTL. Nothing wrong with this.

The Undertaker d. Mordecai in a Casket Match

You know what? Instead of doing Heidenreich, we'll bring Mordecai back to give him a proper burial. We even got him a casket to ship him back to OVW in.

Triple H (c) d. Big Show and Kurt Angle in a Triple Threat Match for the WWE Championship

Yup. Have Angle take the Pedigree here. It's the OTL match but with the Game in it.

Brock Lesnar (c) d. Randy Orton for the World Heavyweight Championship

And you get this match but with more Brock. Orton's the babyface fighting underneath and just as he manages to counter the F5 into an RKO, Batista charges in and batters him while the referee is suddenly distracted by Ric Flair. Batista Bomb. Batista Bomb. Batista Bomb. One after another before the Animal rolls Brock onto Orton's lifeless body. The ref sees none of this and counts the three. Brock keeps and Batista just screwed Orton out of the title. But, that's the non-Rumble matches cleared. Let's see what happens in Part 2. The ROYAL RUMBLE~

 

[Megafighter3]

The 2005 Royal Rumble Match​

#1: Eddie Guerrero
#2: Chris Benoit

Not much will change from the OTL Rumble, but because we're doing a brand split-era Rumble, let's have some colored text for the entrants! Oooh, pretty!

#3: Daniel Puder
#4: Hardcore Holly

Poor Puder takes his licks here. Chops away at young Tough Enough winner before he gets tossed out (30, Puder) followed by Holly getting tossed out by Benoit and Guerrero (29, Holly)

#5: The Hurricane

And he doesn't last long, though he does manage an elimination, thanks to...

#6: Kenzo Suzuki

Suzuki comes in and goes right out (28, Suzuki) followed by Helms (27, Hurricane) leaving Guerrero and Benoit to keep up their one-on-one.

#7: Edge

Edge comes in next and begins helping Benoit briefly to double-team Eddie.

#8: Rey Mysterio

And Rey comes in to even things as we get Canada vs. Mexico in the Rumble.

#9: Shelton Benjamin

The IC Champion comes in with suplexes for everyone. It's not a Suplex City. More like a Suplex Town.

#10: Booker T

Booker teams up with Shelton because WWE would have Canadians vs. Mexicans vs. African Americans.

#11: Chris Jericho

Jericho comes in to join the Canadians, putting things at 3 vs. 2 vs. 2.

#12: Luther Reigns

Luther takes on Shelton, splitting him from his team with Booker and leaving Booker and Edge to resume their feud over a shampoo commercial. Benoit and Jericho team up to fight Guerrero and Mysterio in the most WCW Rumble ever. Shelton manages to send out Luther Reigns (26. Luther Reigns)

#13: Muhammad Hassan

And here comes everyone's favorite spot: ALL THE FINISHERS ON ONE GUY! T-Bone Suplex from Shelton, followed by Triple Germans from Benoit and Three Amigos from Eddie. That's a lot of suplexes. Then Jericho hits the prone Hassan with a Lionsault while Booker does a warm-up Spinaroonie. Hassan gets up to take an Axe Kick. Edge gets in the corner and spears Hassan then tosses him to Rey who gives him the 619 out of the match (25, Hasan)

#14: Orlando Jordan

The Cabinet never really started off, so Jordan's just a dude on SmackDown! He joins up with Booker and Shelton to fight the Canadians. Rey and Eddie sit back and do some good lucha thing while that six-man is going on.

#15: Scotty 2 Hotty

Haha! Nope! Hassan comes back and brutalizes him with Sylvain and Daivari, so poor Scotty never makes it in. However, Heyman has a back-up.

#15: Rhyno

Why? Because it's fuckin' RHYNO! There is never a time where Rhyno isn't a good thing. And he and Edge team up to eliminate Orlando Jordan (24, Jordan) before turning their attention to Booker and Shelton. This leaves Benoit and Jericho to go after Rey and Eddie. So, our fights going on are Edge/Rhyno vs. Booker/Benjamin and Benoit/Jericho vs. Guerrero Mysterio. We've made it to the halfway point. Who's coming up next?

#16: Charlie Haas

Hass and Benjamin reunite to take on Rhyno together while Edge is left with Booker. Together, the two toss out Rhyno (23, Rhyno) and wait for the next guy to come out.

#17: Rene Dupree

And here comes Rene Dupree! He gets double-teamed by the World's Greatest Tag Team and sent out (22, Dupree) waiting for the next guy.

#18: Simon Dean

And Simon's the next one to get eliminated by Haas and Benjamin. (21, Dean) as the two are unstoppable.

#19: Shawn Michaels

And here comes HBK! Haas and Benjamin make the smart move to attack Edge and Booker, leaving Shawn alone for the time being.

#20: Kurt Angle

He's just a sexy Kurt! And he'll make your ankle hurt! Kurt goes after Michaels, putting the ring at ten. Fights are Benoit/Jericho vs. Guerrero/Mysterio, World's Greatest Tag Team vs. Edge/Booker and Angle vs. Michaels. However, the numbers thing out Edge eliminates Charlie Haas (20, Haas) and in a surprise, Shelton manages to send Booker out with a superkick. (19, Booker)

#21: Jonathan Coachman

No. No no no! We're not having the Coach in this match! Fuck that and fuck you! Coachman walks down the ramp, only to eat an RKO.

#21: Randy Orton

Much better. Here comes Orton and he gives RKOs to all the RAW guys. RKO to Michaels (which he sells beautifully), RKO to Shelton, RKO to Edge and RKO to Benoit. Orton is on fire right now. However, Edge comes to and goes right after Orton, fighting him while Shelton makes his way to his feet. Shelton looks at the fight between Michaels and Angle and wonders which one to pick...

#22: Mark Jindrak

And Jindrak comes in, making the choice easier as we have Benoit/Jericho vs. Guerrero/Mysterio, Edge vs. Orton and Angle/Jindrak vs. Michaels/Benjamin.

#23: Viscera

And here comes the World's Largest Love Machine. He starts bowling everyone over to make his big presence felt early on. Everyone starts working together to eliminate the big bastard and it's twelve-on-one, so they succeed. (18, Viscera)

#24: Paul London

The young high-flyer London makes his way in as things begin to finally thing out a little. Eddie tosses out Benoit (17, Benoit) while Jericho sends out Mysterio (16, Mysterio) Orton, meanwhile, gets Edge out (15, Edge) and Benjamin tosses out Jindrak (14, Jindrak) only for Angle to send him out (13, Benjamin)

With this, fights switch to Eddie/Jericho, Angle/Michaels, and London putting on a brave face against Orton... getting an RKO for his troubles.

#25: John Cena

And Cena rushes in to fight Orton while London is left prone.

#26: Gene Snitsky

We get gotta get in that really brutal Gene Snitsky/Paul London clothesline elimination. It was fucking sick, dude. (12, London)

#27: Kane

That's gotta be Kane! He goes right for Snitsky, the two throwing hands before Kane tosses him out (11, Snitsky) Three more to go!

#28: Batista

Batista goes right after Orton, of course. So now Cena goes right for Kane to fight him.

#29: Christian

Christian doesn't really have a dog in this fight, so he decides to he may as well help Batista with Orton.

#30: Ric Flair

And as if Orton's problems couldn't get any worse. The three-on-one starts and Orton manages to overcome, tossing out Christian (10, Christian) before Batista tosses him out (9, Orton) while Michaels finally sends Angle (8, Angle) and Cena sends out Kane (7, Kane)

So, we got six men left. Batista/Cena, Michaels/Flair, and Guerrero/Jericho.

Jericho is the first to go (6, Jericho) while Michaels and Flair put on a clinic and Batista and Cena attempt to outmuscle each other. However, Orton rolls back in and hits Batista with an RKO to leave him prone for elimination by Cena (5, Batista) and infuriating Flair. Flair jaws at Orton as he leaves, turning around into Sweet Chin Music and going out next (4, Flair) while Cena gets tossed out from behind by Guerrero (3, Cena)

And now this is a final two right here. Shawn Michaels and Eddie Guerrero. Two of the greatest wrestlers to ever lace up making it to the finals of this Rumble and this time... the winner is Eddie. He gets Michaels out (2, Michaels)

Eddie Guerrero has won the 2005 Royal Rumble from the #1 position! Eddie Guerrero is going to main event WrestleMania!

 

[Noblesse Oblige]

Well that was...actually pretty awesome. Guerrero going to Wrestlemania 21 to Cheat the Game.