TLIAW: Shaken, Not Stirred

TLIAW: Shaken, Not Stirred

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Damoiselles and danger
Have filled the stranger's past.
Like a knife he cuts thro' life
Like ev'ry day's the last.

- Shirley Bassey, "Mr. Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang"

The name's Fucious. Kung Fucious.

Good to see you Mr. Fucious! Things've been awfully dull 'round here. I hope we're going to see some gratuitous sex and violence in this one!

I certainly hope so too.

Now, what's all this then?

A very belated timeline shamelessly cashing in on the release of Spectre.

Uh, don't you think you missed the deadline?

Oh, shut up. It's here, and Spectre is still out in theaters, so what's the fuss.

So...it's a shuffling of the deck, with James Bond?

Well, when you put it like that...but yes.

But what's the POD? How does this all come about?

I suggest you don't worry about this sort of thing and just enjoy yourself! That goes for you all, too.

Now, pay attention...
 
I await with interest, but if this is the exact same idea that I'm working on, I will find you.
 
I'll be expecting good things from this, Mr. Bond.....

I await with interest, but if this is the exact same idea that I'm working on, I will find you.

No pressure!

And with that...

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Roger Moore - The Playboy

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The journey the Bond novels took from stage to screen was not an easy, or even likely one. As the novels were already a runaway success in both the United States and Great Britain, even receiving the endorsement of the sitting US President (he had reportedly devoured Casino Royale when he visited Africa during his time as Vice-President), it seemed obvious that a film adaptation would follow shortly. However, even securing the rights proved to be an ordeal, let alone starting production. Both producers Harry Saltzman and Albert R. "Cubby" Broccoli wished to produce an adaptation, ultimately (after a year of negotiation) forming two companies; Jacdan Inc to hold the rights (named after Saltzman and Broccoli's wives, respectively), and EON Productions, who would handle the actual task of production.

While Saltzman had originally hoped to produce one of the later novels, such as the recently released Thunderball or Goldfinger, for Bond's first cinematic outing, he was ultimately talked out of it by Broccoli. Thunderball was at the center of an ongoing legal dispute between Bond creator Ian Fleming and writer Kevin McClory, while Goldfinger was deemed "not British enough" for a first time film. They originally turned to adapting "Dr. No", but with the Cuban crisis still fresh on the public's mind, it was decided that pitting Bond against a mad scientist launching rockets out of his Caribbean base would be "too soon" (the threat of nuclear armageddon will do that). Ultimately, they decided the simplest task was to start at the beginning, and Casino Royale soon entered pre-production.

Casting Bond proved to be nearly as difficult as starting production. Fleming had written the novels with either Hoagy Carmichael or Cary Grant in mind, but neither wished to commit to a multi-picture contract. Richard Johnson was briefly considered, before being dismissed as an "overgrown stuntman" (a statement which would prove ironic given who would later take up the role). Ultimately, Saltzman and Broccoli settled on Roger Moore; originally dismissed as being "too young, perhaps a shade too pretty", Moore returned to their attention after director Guy Hamilton ran into him a London nightclub. Moore was despondent over his failure to secure the rights to the literary character "The Saint", and Hamilton was struck by Moore's passion for the project (which was in many ways similar to the Bond role), and his debonair attitude, which fit with his vision for Casino Royale. At Hamilton's insistence, Moore was brought on, opposite Julie Christie as Vesper Lynd, Jack Lord as American CIA operative Felix Leiter, and Christopher Lee (Fleming's cousin) as Le Chiffre, here recast as the chief financial overseer for the terrorist organization SPECTRE (substituted for the original Soviet "Smersh" agency).

Casino Royale opened to a mixed critical reception, with some critics mocking the films "faux high minded socializing with low brow sex and violence", others enjoyed the "relaxed, effervescent spycraft". Fleming reportedly enjoyed the film, but dismissed Moore as a "airheaded dandy". Audiences, however, ate the film up. With Cold War tensions at an all time high, film goers were drawn to a spy who defused conflicts with a knowing smile, and managed to look good doing it. The film raked in the box office, and a sequel (Live And Let Die, the next book in the series) was quickly commissioned. Ultimately, Moore remained on hand for five films, with his final outing From Russia, With Love ending on a cliffhanger note, with Bond poisoned by the villainous Rosa Klebb. Audiences would have to wait a two years (after contract negotiations between Moore and EON broke down) to see who would succeed the mantle of 007.
 
Roger would have been a better Bond if this happened OTL

Not sure if he would have been a better Bond, but he's different here. He's fairly close to his OTL portrayal, but the films are (relatively) more grounded (and follow the plot of the books fairly closely, with some minor adaptations).
 
No pressure!

And with that...

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Damn, quite the handsome man in his youth. :)

Ultimately, Moore remained on hand for five films, with his final outing From Russia, With Love ending on a cliffhanger note, with Bond poisoned by the villainous Rosa Klebb. Audiences would have to wait a two years (after contract negotiations between Moore and EON broke down) to see who would succeed the mantle of 007.

So, does this mean that you are going more with the Bond name being code-name?
 
I saw what you did there...

"...an all-time high"...:D

I see this TL will surely be bottled in bond.

So to speak.

Good form, keep calm and so forth.

(Christopher Lee as Le Chiffre -- very, very good!) :)
 
Damn, quite the handsome man in his youth. :)

So, does this mean that you are going more with the Bond name being code-name?​


OTL e was actually dismissed from the role for being too handsome, if you can believe it.

Bond isn't a code name, and the series as a whole will actually have a looser continuity (though largely restricted to each actors tenure).

"...an all-time high"...:D

I see this TL will surely be bottled in bond.

So to speak.

Good form, keep calm and so forth.

(Christopher Lee as Le Chiffre -- very, very good!) :)

Agreed, that one sentence was one of the coolest things I've read in weeks :D

I am to please. And with that, the next update!

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Sean Connery - The Other Fellow

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Moore had been contracted for five films, with the release of From Russia, With Love releasing him to pursue other projects. EON attempted to lure him back for another film, even offering him a percentage of the gross (nearly unheard of at the time), but Moore was adamant. "Spy films are a young man's game" he later said. "No one wants to see an old man running around playacting." Moore was, of course, only forty when Russia was released, and was almost certainly joking, but his departure left EON in a bind. Should they continue the series with a new lead? If they recast the part, would audiences accept someone who wasn't Moore? Moreover, should they explain the change in appearance, or ignore it entirely? Ultimately, Broccoli and Saltzman decided that the series would continue without Moore, and that the rest could be settled once the film was actually in production.

The search for the next Bond consumed the entertainment press, and every under-40 actor, on both sides of the pond, was talked about at some point. While United Artists (who had bankrolled the previous films) wanted an American, suggesting Steve McQueen or Clint Eastwood, but EON insisted on an Englishmen (or, at the very least, anyone but an American). Jeremy Brett was reportedly offered the part, but turned it down, later saying that "It would have spoiled me." Michael Gambon flat out rejected any offer, supposedly saying "No one would believe me, I've got tits like a woman". Ultimately, they settled on a relatively unknown Scottish actor, who had originally tested for Casino Royale. Initially dismissed as an "overgrown stuntman", Connery later impressed Saltzman and Broccoli by "dressing" for the part. He visited Moore's Saville Row tailor and barber, and purchased (at considerable personal expense) a Rolex watch.

The filmmakers decided to avoid calling attention to the casting change, and instead decided to differentiate Dr. No (which had originally been planned as a Moore feature, before contract negotiations broke down) from the previous films. Guy Hamilton, who had directed all five of Moore's films, was replaced with Val Guest, best known for his work at Hammer studios, as well as both Quatermass films. The film's plot was likewise updated to match the sci-fi aesthetic, attempting to cash in on the burgeoning space race (with both the Soviets and the Americans making Lunar orbits shortly before production wrapped).

Instead of being dispatched to the Caribbean to investigate the death of a British agent, Bond is instead recovering on Jamaica, after being poisoned by SPECTRE agent Rosa Klebb at the conclusion of From Russia, With Love. There, he becomes embroiled (initially against his will) in a local murder investigation, before realizing that the events are linked to the strange rocket tests recorded by the Americans. With the help of CIA agent Felix Leiter (now played by Cec Linder, with Jack Lord being unceremoniously dumped due to demanding top billing and an inflated salary) and local Honey Ryder (played by Britt Ekland), Bond discovers that SPECTRE has established a secret rocket base (overseen by the titular villain, played by Keye Luke), and is planning on launching their own manned space mission, to counter the American and Soviet efforts. Bond ultimately thwarts No's plan (with No being incinerated beneath his own rocket), and returns to active duty.

Dr. No polarized critics and audiences alike. While some were put off by the sudden shift into (albeit soft) sci-fi instead of the more noir-ish tone of the Moore era, others embraced the "far out" action, and Connery's confident, macho performance. Despite the mixed audience reception, the film did well enough at the box office to greenlight a sequel. While Connery was only signed to one film (a precaution against EON being stuck with an unprofitable actor), he appeared poised to make the role his own, and was, by all accounts, eager to sign on for further films. Alas, it was not to be.

Connery, walking through London one particularly foggy night (not on his way to negotiate his contract, despite the persistent rumors) was struck by a drunk driver. Connery survived, but was severely injured, and spent the remainder of 1968 in hospital recovering, leaving him unable to re-sign with EON. He ultimately abandoned acting all together, and later involved himself in Scottish politics, becoming a well respected member of the SNP, and going on to serve several terms in Parliament. Today, Connery is a polarizing figure in Bond fandom; while Dr. No is seen as a turning point in the franchise, Connery himself is often overshadowed by both his predecessor and the man who would succeed him in the role. There has been a recent re-evaluation of his performance, and many now lament that his departure from the franchise remains a great "what might have been".​
 
Nice. I had a similar idea, with Connery being "the Bond who was in only one movie", but my concept had David Niven as the popular Bond (I wanted to use every Bond, dammit!).

I do think Moore doesn't deserve the reputation he has. In my opinion, his Bond films, if dated and campy, are really fun and mostly good ... up until Octopussy. Octopussy was too goofy, and in A View to a Kill he was clearly getting too old for the role. Better if he had ended his career with For Your Eyes Only.

You could even give the last two Moore films to Dalton, which would remove the need for camp (since they'd be a fresh start with a new actor, and I can't picture them trying to write in Dalton!Bond dressing up like a circus clown) and probably save Dalton's reputation as well.
 
Well, this never happened to the other fellow.

You're not doing the same thing as me, which is a relief, and you're also being very clever about this. The varying ages of the Bond actors give you a number of options now - dashing young Dalton could follow and 'retire' in time for Lazenby to do a couple of films in the 1980s before he's 50.

I eagerly await more, and I'm going to launch my version of this when you're done - hope you approve.
 
The idea of shuffling the Bond actors is a very nice concept.


Nice. I had a similar idea, with Connery being "the Bond who was in only one movie", but my concept had David Niven as the popular Bond (I wanted to use every Bond, dammit!).

Including Bob Holness ? He starred in a radio adaption of Moonraker in the mid Fifties.


Cheers,
Nigel.
 
When I said (to myself) that I would never come back to this, well, never say never again...

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George Lazenby - The Warrior Poet

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For many, George Lazenby simply is James Bond. Roger Moore may have originated the role, and Sean Connery enjoys a small but devoted following, to the average person on the street the Australian actor defined the role for a generation. Ironically, given his near iconic status, Lazenby almost missed out on the role.

With Connery in the hospital following his near-fatal car accident, EON were between a proverbial rock and a hard place. While Dr. No had opened to a mixed critical reception, its success effectively demanded a sequel be produced. However, with their lead actor in traction for the forseeable future, a replacement would be needed, and fast. Once again, the casting call went out, and nearly every under 40 actor was considered. United Artists continued to insist on an American in the role, pushing hard for James Brolin (Brolin went so far as to film a screen test, and was seriously considered as a failsafe option). At the time, Lazenby was working as a model and commercial actor, and had slowly begun transitioning to film (he had been well received in the WW2 drama Battle of Britain just two years prior), but expressed little interest in the part. Despite being friendly with producer Cubby Broccoli (they shared the same barber), Lazenby felt that the series had run its course, and that he could bring nothing new to the table.

It was his agent, of all people, that convinced him otherwise. With Connery out of the picture, they argued, the public was ready for a fresh take on the character, one that Lazenby could own without fear of being overshadowed by Moore. With this in mind, Lazenby approached Broccoli with his interpretation of the character, and Broccoli was instantly sold. Less than three months later, production began on Thunderball, with Guy Hamilton (who had worked with Lazenby on Battle of Britain) in the directors chair.

Thunderball had long been planned as a Bond film, but due to a dispute between Bond originator Ian Fleming and Kevin McClory had stymied any attempts at adapting the novel. With McClory dead of a heart attack (and his family generously compensated), nothing stood in the way now. Joining Lazenby was Cec Linder (returning as Bond's CIA ally Felix Leiter), along with Franco Nero as villain Emilio Largo, and Luciana Paluzzi as Bond Girl Domino Palazzi. Pushed to the forefront in this outing was SPECTRE, the international terrorist syndicate largely hinted at in previous outings. For the first time, viewers were introduced to their enigmatic leader "Number One", if only to see him from the waist down (his voice was provided by director Hamilton).

Contrasting with Moore's smooth talking playboy, and Connery's muscular action hero, Lazenby approached the character as a confident, intelligent, albeit conflicted world traveller. His Bond was a romantic, but still happily seduced women when it suited his mission; he would gun down henchmen one moment, and in the next scene consider the weight of his actions. He was above all else complicated, and the response from audiences was immediate. Thunderball was a box office smash, and Lazenby's portrayal was well received by critics and audiences alike (apocryphally, Pauline Kael joked that finally "we have a Bond I can fantasize about"). EON quickly signed him on to a then unprecedented six picture deal, with Lazenby continuing the role well into the early 1980's.

Fans are split over which film is the "quintessential" Lazenby film, but most would agree that the two film "duology" of On Her Majesties Secret Service and You Only Live Twice are almost certainly the his high points. Dealing with Bond's romance and marriage to Teresa di Vicenzo (played by the then relatively unknown Helen Mirren), and then his taking of revenge on SPECTRE after her murder, the films are remarkable in that they remain (to date) the only Bond films which directly reference one another and are treated as part of a series. Others point to Lazenby's last film, A View To A Kill, which pits an aging Bond against East German superspy Max Zorin (played to the hilt by Rutger Hauer). Dealing with questions of Bond's relevance in a changing world (at that point the Cold War was already shifting from the detente of the 70's to the renewed tensions between NATO and the USSR of the 80's), while also showcasing the South American scenery (the final fight between Bond and Zorin on top of Christ the Redeemer being pop cultural touchstone for decades afterwards). The Spy Who Loved Me, featuring Bond's first (and only) trip to outer space, is at least appreciated as a camp classic (and for Jack O'Halloran's iconic portrayal of the henchman Klaw).

After wrapping on A View To A Kill (which was advertised as his swan song), Lazenby briefly retired from acting, intending to focus on writing. He later returned to Hollywood producing documentaries, and remains the only Bond actor to receive an Oscar (though not for Acting, instead for the 1994 film Cry Freedom). Lazenby regularly tops polls for the "Best Bond", and his rare appearances at fan conventions draw huge crowds.
 
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