D'you know, I thought that was what you call someone who reads the bumps on your scalp, D'OH!
Phrenology, lads.
TLIAW: Making Murder Sound Respectable
- Thread starter Mumby
- Start date
Phrenology, lads.
This is so tasty and phresh, Bob.
Dank memes aside, a very engaging piece of work. The narrative method is neat, and I massively echo the praise for 'normalised fascism wat'. I've always wanted to see a world where this happens. And no WWII is just the way to do it.
Well done. Keep the biriyani bants coming.
(Also, THE GREENSHIRTS.)
Dank memes aside, a very engaging piece of work. The narrative method is neat, and I massively echo the praise for 'normalised fascism wat'. I've always wanted to see a world where this happens. And no WWII is just the way to do it.
Well done. Keep the biriyani bants coming.
(Also, THE GREENSHIRTS.)
You're halfway there, bravo.
But why didn't it happen?
EDIT: Thanks for the complimentary commentary by the way.
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Sulemain
Banned
Turns out everything East of the Rhine is groaning under the Tsarist Fur-Boot?
Let me add to the kudos choir Mumby.
'-and now as we approach ninety declarations, we turn to an international perspective on the results.'
Alice yawned, and looked sadly at the empty plate. She was getting hungry again. She grabbed another beer, hoping that would fill a gap.
'Germany calling! Germany calling!' a heavily moustachioed gentleman gurgled jovially from the televisor.
'Good evening, Herr Baillie-Stewart, thank you for joining us. The collapse of your Unionist friends must be a cause for mourning.'
'Not so, Mr Frederick. The Unionists' failure to capitalise on the position that they gained four years ago is their own fault.' Baillie-Stewart continued to grin, though his words were utterly mirthless.
'Why is that? Four years ago, there was much talk about Fascist Fraternalism across the continent. What has changed?' There was a moment's delay and the German smirked.
'You may have noticed that despite four years of comparisons, the National Socialists are still in government, while the Unionists are not. There is one simple reason for this. The Unionists have been tainted by reformism, the desire to appeal to the throng whilst throwing their values to he wayside. They were elected by a mass outburst in favour of fascism for the 21st century. Instead, they have been forced to align with the whims of their conservative allies. Here in Germany, the National Socialist movement has stayed true to our roots. We have combated the designs of Red governments who sought to put more power into the hands of the Jewish state which persists within our borders. We have clamped down on immigration and worked to ensure that every German has a job before we offer one to a new arrival. Our national curriculum now reflects a centuries old Germanic lineage. The Unionists have no such achievements to point to. That is why we remain in government, and they do not.'
'But those are German problems and German solutions. We don't have state ghettoes in Britain.'
'Maybe you should.' Baillie-Stewart was no longer smiling. There was an awkward silence, and everyone in the room looked at each other. Did he really just say that?
'Well, er, moving on, what would you suggest the Union Party needs to do to achieve electoral success again?'
'It needs to get back to its roots. Look back to Mosley, cast off the shackles reformism and provide the radical solution that indigenous Britons actually desire. Become the British Union of Fascists once more.'
Thank you, Herr Baillie-Stewart.' Dimbleby was visibly flustered, his bald head shining under the cameras. He took a drink of water before carrying on. He started talking to a political analyst, but hunger finally got the better of her. Alice heaved herself off the easy chair and went to find grub. Entering the kitchen, she nodded to Alan, who was nursing a large mug of coffee. The hour was already getting to him, not to mention the stress of the election, and having a quirky-socialist sister. Helen was having a smoke outside, watching the lights of the fight downtown.
She found a frozen pudding in the freezer, and slammed it into the raycooker. As it whirred, she looked over at Alan.
‘How is she?’ she said, breaking the silence. Alan stared for a second before replying.
‘She’s fine, I guess, just a little worked up. She just finds it all so exciting. But to me? It’s just tiring, its nothing but a ritual, a bloody awful ritual.’ He stared off into the distance.
‘Sorry, bro. Must be difficult, I know how well you get on-‘
‘Exactly! We started out believing pretty much the same things! She was always a little bit more lefty than me, but this, the shit she comes out with... it’s enough to curdle your blood.’
‘How bad can it be?’
‘Well, you know in Spain they have those collective farms? She wants that done over here, which isn’t so bad, except she wants them to be worked by ‘labour legions’ of people forced to work on them. That’s just mad! It’s just not... progressive, at all. Doesn’t matter how you skew it, that is slavery. She said something about transforming culture and behaviour to bring about Communism, but its like I’m talking to an angry walking pamphlet.’
‘Has she only come out with this tonight?’ Alan looked at her a little sheepishly.
‘Well, yeah...’
‘She’s just caught up in the atmosphere. She drinks in those books, reads about revolution, and watches something like that down there. She isn’t even old enough to vote! She is going to believe some dumb shit.’ She paused. ‘You want to go halfsies on some pudding?’
Alice yawned, and looked sadly at the empty plate. She was getting hungry again. She grabbed another beer, hoping that would fill a gap.
'Germany calling! Germany calling!' a heavily moustachioed gentleman gurgled jovially from the televisor.
'Good evening, Herr Baillie-Stewart, thank you for joining us. The collapse of your Unionist friends must be a cause for mourning.'
'Not so, Mr Frederick. The Unionists' failure to capitalise on the position that they gained four years ago is their own fault.' Baillie-Stewart continued to grin, though his words were utterly mirthless.
'Why is that? Four years ago, there was much talk about Fascist Fraternalism across the continent. What has changed?' There was a moment's delay and the German smirked.
'You may have noticed that despite four years of comparisons, the National Socialists are still in government, while the Unionists are not. There is one simple reason for this. The Unionists have been tainted by reformism, the desire to appeal to the throng whilst throwing their values to he wayside. They were elected by a mass outburst in favour of fascism for the 21st century. Instead, they have been forced to align with the whims of their conservative allies. Here in Germany, the National Socialist movement has stayed true to our roots. We have combated the designs of Red governments who sought to put more power into the hands of the Jewish state which persists within our borders. We have clamped down on immigration and worked to ensure that every German has a job before we offer one to a new arrival. Our national curriculum now reflects a centuries old Germanic lineage. The Unionists have no such achievements to point to. That is why we remain in government, and they do not.'
'But those are German problems and German solutions. We don't have state ghettoes in Britain.'
'Maybe you should.' Baillie-Stewart was no longer smiling. There was an awkward silence, and everyone in the room looked at each other. Did he really just say that?
'Well, er, moving on, what would you suggest the Union Party needs to do to achieve electoral success again?'
'It needs to get back to its roots. Look back to Mosley, cast off the shackles reformism and provide the radical solution that indigenous Britons actually desire. Become the British Union of Fascists once more.'
Thank you, Herr Baillie-Stewart.' Dimbleby was visibly flustered, his bald head shining under the cameras. He took a drink of water before carrying on. He started talking to a political analyst, but hunger finally got the better of her. Alice heaved herself off the easy chair and went to find grub. Entering the kitchen, she nodded to Alan, who was nursing a large mug of coffee. The hour was already getting to him, not to mention the stress of the election, and having a quirky-socialist sister. Helen was having a smoke outside, watching the lights of the fight downtown.
She found a frozen pudding in the freezer, and slammed it into the raycooker. As it whirred, she looked over at Alan.
‘How is she?’ she said, breaking the silence. Alan stared for a second before replying.
‘She’s fine, I guess, just a little worked up. She just finds it all so exciting. But to me? It’s just tiring, its nothing but a ritual, a bloody awful ritual.’ He stared off into the distance.
‘Sorry, bro. Must be difficult, I know how well you get on-‘
‘Exactly! We started out believing pretty much the same things! She was always a little bit more lefty than me, but this, the shit she comes out with... it’s enough to curdle your blood.’
‘How bad can it be?’
‘Well, you know in Spain they have those collective farms? She wants that done over here, which isn’t so bad, except she wants them to be worked by ‘labour legions’ of people forced to work on them. That’s just mad! It’s just not... progressive, at all. Doesn’t matter how you skew it, that is slavery. She said something about transforming culture and behaviour to bring about Communism, but its like I’m talking to an angry walking pamphlet.’
‘Has she only come out with this tonight?’ Alan looked at her a little sheepishly.
‘Well, yeah...’
‘She’s just caught up in the atmosphere. She drinks in those books, reads about revolution, and watches something like that down there. She isn’t even old enough to vote! She is going to believe some dumb shit.’ She paused. ‘You want to go halfsies on some pudding?’
Sulemain
Banned
I aim to please
Hope you leave a comment, but knowing you've read it is happiness enough.
Alex Richards
Donor
Well, it's nice to see that Britain hasn't drunk the anti-Semitic Kool-Aid at least. That was a particularly creepy moment yes.
Johnson started awake. When had he fallen asleep. He was sorry to say that he had no idea. Alice and Alan weren't in the room, though he could hear their voices murmuring from another room. Steve was engrossed in his comportable and was hammering away at the keys, chuckling to himself occasionally. Yawning, Johnson looked at the televisor, trying to catch up.
'One thing is clear from the results thus far. The two party duopoly is dead. While coalition government has been normal for some time, this is the first time a three party coalition will be followed by another. The mass party has declined and while Labour and National remain the largest parties in the land by quite a stretch, they can no longer rely on the ingrained tribal loyalty that they could in decades past.' Simon Andrews, the political analyst was talking down the camera. 'Such a complex situation may mean it will be hours or days after the results are clear that a government can form.' He took a sip of water before he moved on.
'With Labour the largest party, and all the parties currently participating in the National's coalition losing seats, it appears that Labour will be in the commanding position. However, it is possible that the Nationals could bring the Liberals into their coalition, either retaining or dumping the Unionists. The numbers would still be with them. In fact a National-Liberal-Social Credit coalition would have a 19 seat majority according to our exit poll.'
'But on the other hand, it doesn't seem likely that the Liberals will walk hand in hand with a government which has lost popularity due to perceived authoritarianism. Any National government at this stage is reliant on Liberal support. If the Liberals threw their support behind Labour, then along with perennial Labour allies the CPGB, such a government would have a majority of 18.'
'But there are two other parties whose favour could change everything. Social Credit could replace the CPGB, or the Liberals in a Labour led coalition, either building a centrist alliance in the first case, or a more technocratic one in the latter. Any possible National government also relies on Social Credit. The other force is the Home Rule League. Traditionally neutrals, their growth in England has signalled a federalist as opposed to nationalist turn, and they could tip the balance for any coalition.'
Johnson was slipping back into slumber, when suddenly...
'BREAKING NEWS: Chairman Muratov has been officially declared dead, having died in the early hours of Tuesday. His Rightist Coalition which has dominated Russian politics for last thirty years has fallen. The Social-Revolutionary party has already declared its own legitimacy, and without a clear opposition and decades of resentment on the left, the path may be clear for a Red government in Russia.' Johnson stared for a few seconds, and Steve stopped typing. Then they both jumped to their feet and ran into the kitchen.
Alice and Alan were just finishing off their pudding when Johnson and Steve ran in. Johnson began.
'Guys, you've got to come through. Muratov's died.'
'What?' blurted Alan.
'Muratov? You know, Russian vozhd, been keeping the Great Bear tamped down for longer than we've been alive. Well, he's dead and it looks like the Communists are knocking at the door and there's no-one in to stop them from squatting.'
'Oh, fuck.' said Alice. It kind of summed up what they were all thinking. They filed through to the living room, where the televisor showed images of Muratov's elderly bearded face looming down from buildings. A narrator was intoning the history of Muratov's Russia, but none of them were really taking it in.
'Well, if you ask me', piped up Helen from the doorway, 'it's been 98 years coming.'
'One thing is clear from the results thus far. The two party duopoly is dead. While coalition government has been normal for some time, this is the first time a three party coalition will be followed by another. The mass party has declined and while Labour and National remain the largest parties in the land by quite a stretch, they can no longer rely on the ingrained tribal loyalty that they could in decades past.' Simon Andrews, the political analyst was talking down the camera. 'Such a complex situation may mean it will be hours or days after the results are clear that a government can form.' He took a sip of water before he moved on.
'With Labour the largest party, and all the parties currently participating in the National's coalition losing seats, it appears that Labour will be in the commanding position. However, it is possible that the Nationals could bring the Liberals into their coalition, either retaining or dumping the Unionists. The numbers would still be with them. In fact a National-Liberal-Social Credit coalition would have a 19 seat majority according to our exit poll.'
'But on the other hand, it doesn't seem likely that the Liberals will walk hand in hand with a government which has lost popularity due to perceived authoritarianism. Any National government at this stage is reliant on Liberal support. If the Liberals threw their support behind Labour, then along with perennial Labour allies the CPGB, such a government would have a majority of 18.'
'But there are two other parties whose favour could change everything. Social Credit could replace the CPGB, or the Liberals in a Labour led coalition, either building a centrist alliance in the first case, or a more technocratic one in the latter. Any possible National government also relies on Social Credit. The other force is the Home Rule League. Traditionally neutrals, their growth in England has signalled a federalist as opposed to nationalist turn, and they could tip the balance for any coalition.'
Johnson was slipping back into slumber, when suddenly...
'BREAKING NEWS: Chairman Muratov has been officially declared dead, having died in the early hours of Tuesday. His Rightist Coalition which has dominated Russian politics for last thirty years has fallen. The Social-Revolutionary party has already declared its own legitimacy, and without a clear opposition and decades of resentment on the left, the path may be clear for a Red government in Russia.' Johnson stared for a few seconds, and Steve stopped typing. Then they both jumped to their feet and ran into the kitchen.
Alice and Alan were just finishing off their pudding when Johnson and Steve ran in. Johnson began.
'Guys, you've got to come through. Muratov's died.'
'What?' blurted Alan.
'Muratov? You know, Russian vozhd, been keeping the Great Bear tamped down for longer than we've been alive. Well, he's dead and it looks like the Communists are knocking at the door and there's no-one in to stop them from squatting.'
'Oh, fuck.' said Alice. It kind of summed up what they were all thinking. They filed through to the living room, where the televisor showed images of Muratov's elderly bearded face looming down from buildings. A narrator was intoning the history of Muratov's Russia, but none of them were really taking it in.
'Well, if you ask me', piped up Helen from the doorway, 'it's been 98 years coming.'
Japhy
Banned
This is monstrous. Monstrous and magnificent. I do love that as opposed to most -punk settings this piece has embraced that yes a march of time happens, all the while building a world where modern liberal democracy never got its shot at redemption.
Combine that contrast with the characters you've created and its a very dark, almost dystopic setting that isn't based on sheer brutality run amuck. Which means IMO, you've avoided the greatest problem with dystopias.
Certainly will be excited to see more of this coming. Thank you for writing it.
Combine that contrast with the characters you've created and its a very dark, almost dystopic setting that isn't based on sheer brutality run amuck. Which means IMO, you've avoided the greatest problem with dystopias.
Certainly will be excited to see more of this coming. Thank you for writing it.
