TLIAPOT: Kingfinch

[Baconheimer]

​

Hey, TLIAPOT sounds familiar...

Well, it is. I "stole" the name from Gonzo.

You stole it from Gonzo?

Ironic, isn't it.

Hopefully you don't steal the darkness from that TL as well.

No comment.

What do you mean! How could you write something as depraved and not give us a warning.

Like I said, I won't comment on the relative crapsackiness of the world that will unfold in this thread.

Can you at least give us a hint?

Fine, it will be set mainly in the 1980s

That's a hint!?

I don't exactly want to give away the plot before it starts.

And when is that?

Hopefully tomorrow. Please refer to the definition of TLIAPOT if you have delusions of fast-appearing updates.

 

[Baconheimer]

'Cliff Finch announces reelection bid!'
- Clarion-Ledger, January 6th, 1979

'Finch wins Mississippi Governor's Race: Cliff Finch, incumbent Democratic Governor of Mississippi won reelection in a landslide yesterday over Gil Carmichael, a car dealer from Meridian. Finch ran as "the people's governor", working manual jobs as he barnstormed the state. Finch's greatest successes came downballot as his political allies swept to have a supermajority in the Mississippi Senate and House of Representatives. Despite earlier rumors of Finch challenging President Carter for the Democratic nomination, in his victory speech, Finch ruled out running against the President.'
- New York Times, November 6th, 1979

Jimmy Carter - 34%
Ted Kennedy - 32%
Jerry Brown - 28%
Ron Dellums - 2%
- Nationwide Democratic Polling, January 1st, 1980

'Carter Wins Strong Victory in Iowa, As Bush Takes Lead Over Reagan; Iowa Caucuses Give President Strong Victory Cuts in Reagan Strength'
- New York Times, January 22nd, 1980

'Ronnie's Romp!: And now the real race is on'
- Cover of Time Magazine, March 10th, 1980

'Anderson to Announce Independent Bid Today'
- Washington Post, April 24th, 1980

'Reagan Is Winner in Texas Race'
- Washington Post, May 4th, 1980

'Bush quits, backs Reagan'
- Washington Post, May 4th, 1980

"It is time to put America back to work; to make our cities and towns resound with the confident voices of men and women of all races, nationalities and faiths bringing home to their families a decent paycheck they can cash for honest money.

For those without skills, we'll find a way to help them get skills.

For those without job opportunities, we'll stimulate new opportunities, particularly in the inner cities where they live.

For those who have abandoned hope, we'll restore hope and we'll welcome them into a great national crusade to make America great again!"

- Ronald Reagan in his acceptance speech to the Republican National Convention, July 17th, 1980

'President renominated'
- New York Times, August 13th, 1980

'RESERVISTS FOR WAR WITH IRAQ; BANI-SADR ASSUMES CONTROL As Fighting Spreads Along Border, Thousands Are Summoned to Defend Iranian 'Integrity' Summons Read Over the Radio Many Desertions and Purges IRAN CALLS RESERVES FOR FIGHT WITH IRAQ'
- New York Times, September 21st, 1980

"I would rather have a competent extremist than an incompetent moderate."
- Leon Jaworski on the 1980 Presidential Election

"The infidels will not see the light of day as long as I breathe. I do not care who sits in the White House. Until the United States returns our former slavemaster the Americans will remain Tehran."
- Iranian Supreme Leader Ruhollah Khomeini on the American Hostages, October 15th, 1980

'Carter and Reagan trade punches but both on their feet at the bell'
- The Plain Dealer, October 29th, 1980

Reagan - 47%
Carter - 38%
Anderson - 8%
- Nationwide Polling for the Presidential Election, November 15th, 1980

'Reagan easily beats Carter; Runs Strong Across Country'
- New York Times, November 5th, 1980

"I will take all necessary measures to ensure the safe return of any and all Americans held in Iran when I am President. Mr. Khomeini had better realize that the United States will not abandon its citizens and doesn't shirk away from a good fight."
- President-Elect Ronald Reagan, December 19th, 1980

"I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States."
- Ronald Wilson Reagan, January 20th, 1980

'US Government sends ultimatum to Iran: release hostages or war!"
- Washington Post, February 9th, 1981

"The time has passed for the Iranian government to accede to the the conditions that the United States has submitted to them. The fourty-eight hour mark has come and gone with no response from Tehran. Fifty-two American citizens languish in cells in Iran. It is, therefore, my duty to ask Congress to authorize a declaration of war on the nation that styles itself as the Islamic Republic of Iran to recover our citizens and establish the rule of law in that land."
- President Ronald Reagan in Address to Joint Session of Congress, February 10th, 1981

- - - - -
Note: Some of the above is copied from the New York Times, Time Magazine, the Washington Post, the Chicago Tribune, other newspapers, and real life. Titles are based off of, or copied from, actual newspapers.

 

[Baconheimer]

'War with Iran! Navy bombards Bandar Abbas!'
- New York Times, February 11th, 1981

'Dogfights over Tehran: 10 Planes Feared Downed'
- New York Times, February 20th, 1981

'US-Iraq make major offensive, Ahvaz captured, heavy fighting in Kermanshah'
- Washington Times, March 29th, 1981

'Carbombing in Tel Aviv: 300 dead!'
- Haaretz, April 6th, 1981

"...the death toll in Tel Aviv grows higher by the minute. It appears that three British nationals, four French nations, and six Italian..."
- David Brinkley, ABC News, the morning of April 6th, 1981

'PLO behind Tel Aviv bombing'
- Los Angeles Times, April 10th, 1981

'Israel invades Lebanon, US Marines behind them, Iranian counterattack on Isfahan'
- Chicago Tribune, April 11th, 1981

"The attack carried out by members of the Palestinian Liberation Organization in Tel Aviv had as its target civilians frequenting a shopping center, one that is known to attract foreign tourists. This attack shows a reckless disregard for innocent lives by this group, and, by extent, Iran. I ask that Parliament authorize the commitment of British troops to the Middle East to restore order to Iran and its Lebanese allies..."
- Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, April 12th, 1981 in a speech to Parliament authorizing sending British troops to fight Iran

'Britain, France, Italy send troops to Lebanon,Iran'
- Chicago Tribune, April 13th, 1981

'Israel invades Lebanon, Iranian counterattack on Isfahan'
- Chicago Tribune, April 11th, 1981

'Fine Gael-Labour Coalition! FitzGerald new Taoiseach'
- Irish Times, April 17th, 1981

"Nations all over the free world: France, Britain, Italy, Canada, and Israel have joined us in our fight with Iran. The aim of this pact for peace is to restore the legitimate Pahlavi government in Iran and order to all nations of the Middle East that the Ayatollah Khomeini's stooges are wreaking havoc in. Our alliance for freedom will squash tyranny and bring a brighter day to the Middle East."
- Ronald Reagan, April 20th, 1981

'Turkey joins war, Allied forces surge into northwest Iran'
- New York Times, May 10th, 1981

'Reports of coup in Iran as Alliance forces close in on Tehran'
- Chicago Tribune, June 1st, 1981

'US Forces reach outskirts of Tehran'
- Haaretz, June 21st, 1981

'Heavy fighting in Tehran, Khomeini presumed killed, junta flees to mountains'
- Los Angeles Times, August 1st, 1981

'patco

AIR TRAFFIC CONTROLLERS'

On strike'
- Sign held by strikers, August 1981

'U.S. starts firing Air Controllers'
- Hartford Courant, August 10th, 1981
'French forces routed at Kerman'
- Miami Herald, September 15th, 1981

'Car bomb kills twenty soldiers in Tehran'
- New York Times, September 21st, 1981

'Kemp-Roth tax cut signed by President'
- New York Times, September 25th, 1981

"The President shows a reckless disregard for the American people in the signing of this latest legislation. Taxes have been slashed at an unconsciensable rate for big business and the elite. This will only help the richer get richer. I am wholly opposed to letting those people who can contribute greatly off the hook. The working people are the backbone of this nation and should be given what they are due. Let it be known that I oppose, in it's entirety, the Kemp-Roth tax cuts."
- Cliff Finch in public statement, September 26th, 1981

"Our forces are finding it increasingly hard to advance in Iran. Tehran and most major cities have been occupied. What remains of the revolutionary military leadership has fled into the Iranian plateau. Intelligence suggests a General Fallahi is running a band of petty colonels as a strongman. The momentum of our initial attack has been blunted but there is no doubt that fresh offensives and an influx of fresh troops will turn the tide. The Shah is set to return to Tehran by the end of the year and once a new royalist army has been trained, our forces and our allies forces will be able to be return home in peace."
- Secretary of Defense Caspar Weinberger in a speech, October 3rd, 1981

"Progress has not been up to expectations. At this rate, the war won't be done until 1986."
- Major General Colin Powell to an aide, November 10th, 1981

'Governor has massive heart attack at Governor's Mansion: hospitalized and in critical condition'
- Jackson Clarion-Ledger, November 19th, 1981

"Governor, you are quite lucky you didn't die. The chances of you surviving were a million to one. Frankly, if you are going to keep on living, you are going to need to make some changes. You will need to stop smoking and..."
- Doctor to Mississippi Governor Cliff Finch, November 21st, 1981

'Wave of car bombings rock Isfahan, over one-hundred soldiers feared dead'
- Boston Herald, November 27th, 1981

'Bring back all Americans'
- Inscription on sign at Anti-Iran War Protests in Washington, DC, early December 1981

"Your approval rating is, quite frankly, terrible. Mr. President, something really needs to be done about the War in Iran. The people are getting tired of it."
- White House Chief of Staff James Baker to President Ronald Reagan, December 11th, 1981

'Allied leaders to meet in Paris'
- Boston Herald, December 19th, 1981

'NYSE ends year down 15%'
- Wall Street Journal, December 31st, 1981

An infobox of the war in Iran as of January 1, 1982.

"Frankly, the war in Iran is unsustainable. We have reached our high-water mark. The advances made so far are significant, and the gains were minimal, but any land captured will be at the cost of heavy casualties, growing exponentially for each foot our forces advance. We have to ask ourselves: is it worth this many American lives to prove some sort of point to the Iranian government."
- Former Senator George McGovern (Democrat-South Dakota) in speech, January 10th, 1982

'If the war continues at this rate and the economy does not improve, we can expect to gain upwards of thirty seats in the House this fall. I wouldn't rule out gaining a majority in the Senate.'
- DNC Chairman Charles Taylor Manatt in memo circulated to Committee-members, late January 1982

"I intend to barnstorm the state for my candidates. The people elected me twice so it stands to reason that the same campaigning methods will get them out for other Democrats. When our five representatives go up to Washington next year I want to see all of them Democrats."
- Mississippi Governor Cliff Finch to his chief of staff, February 10th, 1982

'French convoy ambushed near Abarkooh, 154 dead, thousands of tons of munitions lost'
- Chicago Tribune, February 14th, 1982

'John Lennon holds Bed-In in Plaza Hotel, New York'
- Los Angeles Times, March 1st, 1982

"Caspar, I don't want you to come back unless Europe decides to back us all the way. Twist arms, break skulls- get it done."
- Secretary of State Alexander Haig to Secretary of Defense Caspar Weinberger, March 5th, 1982

'Defense Secretary Weinberger to go to Paris'
- New York Times, March 12th, 1982

'Summit starts in Paris: A conference of leaders and high-ranking officials aligned with the United States in it's war with Iran convened yesterday in Paris. In secret, attendees will devise a plan to finish the war. The dignitaries in attendance include Defense Secretary Weinberger, British Prime Minister Thatcher, Foreign Secretary Hurd, French President D'Estaing, Israeli Prime Minister Begin, and Saddam Hussein.'
- Newsday, March 15th, 1982

"Abbas; you know what to do. Do what you have practiced, kill the infidels and secure the world for your nation."
- Unknown Iranian Quds Force Officer to Abbas Amir, March 15th, 1982

"Whose fucking car is that?

The man must be mad to go this fast.

Merde! He has a-

[EXPLOSION]"
- Unknown Police nationale Brigadier-chef, March 17th, 1982

"We interrupt your regularly scheduled program to bring you a special report from Paris. An unknown assailant crashed a vehicle loaded with explosives into dignitaries exiting a meeting. So far, we can confirm the deaths of Caspar Weinberger, Margaret Thatcher, Norman Schwarzkopf..."
- Newsday, March 17th, 1982

An infobox on the assassination of Saddam Hussein and other Allied leaders.

 

[Baconheimer]

"This horrific act only redoubles the commitment of the American government towards the defeat of the Iranian rebels. The murder of Caspar Weinberger shows the whole world that General Fallahi has no intention of running a civilized state. American forces will not stop until Fallahi is brought in chains to Tehran to face justice for his terroristic actions."
- President Ronald Reagan, March 18th, 1982

'THATCHER KILLED IN PARIS, HOWE INTERIM LEADER!'
- The Daily Telegraph, March 18th, 1982

"Following the death of Prime Minister Menachem Begin, Deputy Prime Minister Simha Erlich will be acting as Prime Minister and will hold that role until the ruling coalition holds a vote on whether to keep him in that role."
- ABC News, March 18th, 1982

"I want to send a message to the Iranians. They need to know that killing Caspar is too far. We need to crush them. I want Curtis LeMay at the Defense Department. He'll show Fallahi what's what.

Mr. President, with all due respect, I don't think the Senate would accept LeMay. You can get away with a lot, but this will be too far. Byrd might get on board, but the liberals will go crazy and might revolt. LeMay doesn't exactly have a great reputation nationally.

Perhaps Westmoreland..."
- Conversation between President Ronald Reagan and White House Chief of Staff James Baker, March 18th, 1982

'Rumsfeld named new Defense Secretary'
- New York Times, March 20th, 1982

"While the bombing of the Ritz is unfortunate, and the death of Secretary Weinberger is a tragedy, I cannot deny that the talks were not in our favor and without attack, the outcome would have likely been very different, and not in our favor."
- Deputy Secretary of Defense Frank Carlucci to President Ronald Reagan, March 21st, 1982

'Malone wins in Glasgow Hill-Head, Tories hold seat'
- Glasgow Daily Times, March 26th, 1982

'Israel invades Syria: Alleges Syrian assistance in Paris bombing'
- Chicago Tribune, March 29th, 1982

'Michael Jackson shot dead after concert in Los Vegas: Perpetrator in custody'
- Chicago Tribune, April 6th, 1982

"Iranian mountain troops today advanced through the southern Zagros mountains before mounting a raid on Shiraz, where thousands of Iranian prisoners of war are held. While the raid is largely unsuccesful, it has shown that the Iranians still have fight in them."
- David Brinkley, ABC News, April 10th, 1982

"I'm going to Iran."
- Hunter S. Thompson to Jann Wenner, April 11th, 1982

'Intelligence points to Israeli nuclear weapons stored at Sdot Micha airbase near Zekharia. At least ten warheads, mounted on Jericho missiles, are believed to be there. The base is heavily guarded by IDF forces, but in the history of the base, there have been no attacks. The Israeli's are not expecting an attack there. A coordinated attack by the Quds force, the PLO, and Hezbollah has a good chance of taking the guards unaware and storming the base. The base is about 7 kilometers from the West Bank. If warheads could be moved there, and via Jordan to Iran, the presence of nuclear weapons in the Iranian arsenal would dissuade the United States from continuing the war. This intelligence was gained at the loss of scores of Palestinian patriots and it would be betrayal to let this information sit unused.'
- From a Report by Major General to President of the Emergency Council of National Unity Valiollah Fallahi, submitted April 29th, 1982

"The United States is entangled in the most deadly war since the Second World War in Iran. Shipments of weapons and medicine to the Mujahedin have decreased by a large percent since the US invaded Iran. Our forces are on the advance in Afghanistan. This is no time for a weak leader. If Brezhnev does not change his ways, he may find himself out of a job."
- Yuri Andropov to a group of high-ranking co-conspirators, early May 1982

'Peace demonstrations held in Washington: Jackson, McGovern, Springsteen attend'
- Miami Herald, May 15th, 1982

"I ask the President to seek peace in the Middle East. The war, as it stands, is unsustainable, and is leading simply to more death and violence. The end goal will be the total devastation of all land from the Mediterranean to India. Millions of people will lie dead - and for what? The United States needs an honorable peace that will give an example to the world."
- Representative Pete McCloskey (R-CA), May 16th, 1982, in a speech at the Washington Peace Demonstrations

"I can't hold the party together forever. Trent tells me that there are many that will follow McCloskey and join a peace faction. Something needs to be done, and quickly. On the current trajectory, our party is set to lose dozens of seats."
- House Minority Leader Bob Michel (R-IL) to White House Chief of Staff James Baker, May 21st, 1982

An infobox of Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld as of 1982.

 

[Baconheimer]

'Brezhnev dead of heart attack! Andropov in control in Moscow'
- New York Times, July 10th, 1982

"Brezhnev has been a failure to our country. His so-called reforms have not improved this nation. I am committed to rolling back the things he has done, winning the war in Afghanistan, and solidfying our alliances with our communist brothers in Europe."
- Yuri Andropov to aides, July 15th, 1982

'Preparations for the raid on Sdot Micha will begin as soon as possible. I hereby authroize you to use whatever means necessary to train a force that will be able to carry out the guidelines I have set forth here.'
- Major General Mohsen Rezaee to Qasem Soleimani, August 6th, 1982

'It has been a long time since any Mississippi governor has had much fame outside of that state. Incumbent governor Cliff Finch is quickly becoming a national player. His political career stretches back to 1960 when he was first elected to the Mississippi House of Representatives. He exploded onto the state scene in 1975 when won the governorship, campaigning as a common man, working alongside manual laborers of all races. His coalition pushed him into the Governor's Mansion. Mr. Finch pushed for protections for unions and the working man. In 1979, he handily won reelection with the backing of the same coalition. His supporters followed on his coattails, giving Finch a highly receptive Senate and House of Representatives. According to sources close to the Governor, Mr. Finch considered challenging President Carter for the Democratic nomination, but decided against it. Since the election of Ronald Reagan, Governor Finch has decried the President's attacks on unions and has expressed dissatisfaction for the war in Iran. Candidates throughout the south have adopted what is becoming known as "Finchism", and people such as former Governor George Wallace and Senator Russell Long have met with Finch, whose fame has spread to neighboring Alabama and Louisiana. Already, there is talk of Finch running for President in 1984.'
- New Yorker Magazine, August 23rd, 1982

'A doped-up junkie dropped into Tehran from the gutters of the most depraved American city would find himself at home in what is still called a capitol. Tehran is nothing but the center of a conspiracy - a conspiracy created in the halls of Washington, some half-baked plan to invade a far-off place for the personal gain of the President. A feeling of timelessness hangs over the entire city. Each day, cars explode. Anyone with any sense, and by extension, without a commission knows that that winning is losing for them.'
- Hunter Thompson, Rolling Stone, September 1982

'McCloskey slams Reagan in campaign speech'
- Los Angeles Tribune, September 24th, 1982

'Defense Department looking at reinstating draft: Rumsfeld denies allegations'
- Chicago Tribune, October 5th, 1982

'McCloskey: "I will not send our boys to die without cause"'
- Los Angeles Times, October 7th, 1982

'As you are likely aware, a force comprised of upwards of one-hundred and twenty well-armed PLO and Quds Force fighters attacked our base at Sdot Micha. Most of the attackers had suicide vests, which accounts for the low number of captives we hold. Nevertheless, a few vests malfunctioned, which has allowed us to detain several of the attackers. Interrogation has revealed that the aim of this attack was the stockpile of nuclear warheads at the base. The attack was a failure, but surprising, and could, with additional resources have possibly succeeded in its aim of taking a warhead. This episode illustrates that the Iranian government and its allies are willing to expend any resources, and, try, at any cost, to win this war. It is the opinion of the nuclear wing that additional resources must immediately be diverted to the protection of the nuclear stockpile. If Iran was to ever get its hands on a weapon of an atomic nature the effects would be disastrous. Analysts agree that, in that eventuality escalation would be almost inevitable. To defend civilization we must endevour to keep nuclear weapons out of the hands of our enemies.'
- From memo to Israeli Defense Minister Moshe Arens, October 25th, 1982

"You've read the reports from Israel, I presume?

The Iranians'll stop at nothing, they're nothing but a bunch of barbarians led by a hopped-up Colonel.

The Israelis are asking for our help defending their stockpile. It's a good idea....

Fuck, yes. If they ever got one and used it I wouldn't hesitate to glass over every nation those little sand n..."
- Secretary of State Alexander Haig to Secretary of Defense Ronald Rumsfeld, October 26th, 1982

Democratic- 60%
Republican- 39%
Other 1%
- 1982 Senate voting intentions, November 1st, 1982

'Democrats take Senate, expand lead in House by 46 seats'
- New York Times, November 3rd, 1982

'Senator Moonbeam!'
- Oakland Tribune, November 3rd, 1982

1982 United States Senate Elections:
Democratic: 51 (+6)
Republican: 49 (-5)
Independent: 0 (-1)

1982 United States House of Representatives Elections:
Democratic: 289 (+46)
Republican: 146 (-46)

1982 House of Representatives elections in infobox form.

1982 Senate elections in infobox form.

'Further intelligence-gathering suggests that acquiring a nuclear weapon by force will be so hard as to make it nearly impossible. It now seems that the best course of action is to purchase fissile material and use our own scientists to develop bombs. The bombs will be crude, but will be a shock to our enemies.'
- From report by Major General Mohsen Rezaee to Qasem Soleimani, early November 1982

"I've never been so conflicted before. I swore an oath to uphold the Constitution. I'm supposed to obey the President, but, frankly, he's making some strange decisions. I thought he had a vision and compassion, but this cabinet seems to be pushing him to his worst. Ever since Donald's been at Defense, things are getting worse. I don't know if I can keep on like this in good conscience."
- Secretary of State Alexander Haig to his wife, Patricia Antoinette Fox, November 16th, 1982

'Coup in Baghdad: Early this morning, Kamel Sajid, head of the Republican Guard, the elite fighting force in Iraq was proclaimed temporary head of state. The Republican Guard took President Uday Hussein, eldest son of the former President, widely regarded as a young, incompetent leader, into custody while occupying various points of importance in the city. A statement was issued from Radwaniyah Palace that Kamel Sajid had assumed the role of President and that the Ba'ath Party had acknowledged his legitimacy, followed by his joining of the party. Sajid later said he would step down when Uday is competent enough to hold the Presidency. The United States Department of State has declared Sajid as legitimate President of Iraq. There are unsubstantiated reports of fighting between Republican Guard forces and Hussein loyalists.'
- New York Times, December 6th, 1982

Likely Democratic Contenders:
- Walter Mondale
- Gary Hart
- Jesse Jackson
- Robert Byrd
- Cliff Finch
- Alan Cranston
- George McGovern
- Fritz Hollings
- Jerry Brown
- Time Magazine, late December, 1982

 

[Baconheimer]

'Finch will run for Governor again'
- Clarion-Ledger, January 9th, 1983

'Hart- "I'm running"'
- New York Times, March 15th, 1983

'Tank battle outside Kerman, thousands of Iraqis dead, Iranian victory'
- London Times, March 19th, 1983

"It is time to strike, General Sajid has proven to be a failure. The loss at Deh-e Bala proves that the Republican Guard cannot manage the country. There is discontent in Baghdad. If we move now Sajid can be overthrown and Uday can be freed with little loss."'
- Discussion in a bunkers somewhere in Fallujah, March 23rd, 1983

"Breaking news from Iraq! Forces loyal to imprisoned former President Uday Hussein and his brothers have assaulted the Radwaniyah Palace and other government buildings in Baghdad. Carbombs believed intended to kill current President Sajid failed in their objective. There is fighting in the streets of Iraq."
- Bob Schieffer, CBS Evening News, March 29th, 1983

"Which fucking side are we on! Sajid is incompetant, but Uday is worse. Maybe we just glass the whole fucking place..."
- Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld to aides, late March, 1983 on the situation in Iraq

'Front collapses! Iran gains ground as Iraqi forces turn on one another!'
- New York Times, April 1st, 1983

'Senate Majority Leader Byrd will run for President'
- Chicago Tribune, April 5th, 1983

"Let's end this war! Enough Americans have died. This is not our fight."
- Representative Pete McCloskey (R-CA), announcing his campaign for the Republican nomination in 1984, April 29th, 1983

"What? Does he have a thing for running against incumbent Republican Presidents?"
- White House Chief of Staff James Baker to President Ronald Reagan on Pete McCloskey's Presidential bid, May 1st, 1983

"The battle between the various Iraqi factions has created a major problem for us. The Iraqi-held sectors of occupied Iran collapsed. Iranian militants have pushed forwards and are supplying weapons to Shi'ite insurgents in Iraq. Baghdad is a warzone. US forces are being redeployed throughout Iran and Iraq to hold what we have gained so far. We need something big."
- Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld to President Ronald Reagan, May 10th, 1983

"President, it is done. We have four of them, small enough to fit in a suitcase. Our technicians advise we use them soon."
- Unknown Iranian Defense Official to President Valiollah Fallahi, May 12th, 1983

"I'm running for the Democratic nomination."
- Former Vice President Walter Mondale (D-MN), May 15th, 1983

"Mr. President...we have a situation...three suitcase nukes have gone off. Baghdad, Jerusalem, and Amol are hit. We believe the Iranians are behind it, but we don't know. I highly advise you raise DEFCON to level one. If the Soviets are behind this, we can't be caught with our pants down."
- Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld to President Ronald Reagan, May 16th, 1983

'Suitcase nukes in Middle East, four confirmed explosions, thousands dead, DEFCON raised to level one, American and Soviet troops mobilizing'
- New York Times, May 17th, 1983

"Intelligence suggests that the Iranians at least five suitcase bombs left. They are likely to use them soon, before we have a chance to destroy them."
- Senior Defense Department Official to Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, May 19th, 1983

"I authorize the use of a tactical nuclear weapon on the Iranian nuclear base outside Sanandaj."
- President Ronald Reagan, May 21st, 1983

"There are reports from Iran that a small nuclear bomb was dropped on a compound held by forces loyal to the Iranian government outside Sanandaj, in western Iran. Iranian media outlets allege that the bombing was completely unjustified and has killed hundreds of people, many Sunnis."
- Bob Schieffer, CBS Evening News, May 21st, 1983

'Anti-American protests rock Middle East, martial law declared in Riyadh'
- Chicago Tribune, May 23rd, 1983

'OPEC announces oil embargo on US and allies'
- Miami Herald, May 29th, 1983

'NYSE in tailspin as oil embargo sets in'
- Chicago Tribune, May 30th, 1983

"It is time to support Fallahi."
- General Secretary of the Central Committee of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union Yuri Andropov, June 1st, 1983

'Governor Finch of Mississippi announces bid for Presidency'
- New York Times, June 1st, 1983

"Philadelphia, your time has come! Pick up your sling shot, pick up your rock, declare our time has come, a new day has begun! Red, yellow, black and white, we are all precious in God's sight! Our time has come!"
- Jesse Jackson announces run for Democratic nomination, June 6th, 1983

"I am not running for President in 1984"
- George McGovern, June 12th, 1983

'Brown announces third run for Democratic nomination'
- San Francisco Chronicle, June 21st, 1983

'Hollings will try to take White House'
- Post & Courier, June 22nd, 1983

"After long consideration, I have decided against running for President. I am endorsing my fellow Senator from the state of California, Jerry Brown."
- Senator Alan Cranston (D-CA), July 2nd, 1983

"I understand that the current situation in the Middle East is by no means ideal. However, let us be clear. This war was started by Iranian aggression. All escalations have been the responsibility of the reprehensible revolutionary regime and its allies. The United States is simply retaliating against assaults on our people and resources."
- President Ronald Reagan, July 10th, 1983

"Mr. President, ask the grieving mothers and fathers: is oil worth this much blood?"
- Representative Pete McCloskey (R-CA), July 11th, 1983

'Turkey announces withdrawal from war'
- New York Times, July 19th, 1983

"I want to forge a new Democratic party, one of the people, by the people, and for the people. A party for rich men, a party for poor men, a party for all men."
- Governor Cliff Finch (D-MS) in a campaign speech in Mount Pleasant, IA, July 29th, 1983

Reagan: 53%
McCloskey: 42%
- Gallup Polls, August 1983

"It's time to get out of the Middle East!"
- Representative Pete McCloskey (R-CA), August 6th, 1983

'Cliff Finch: The economic wondergovernor'
- New York Times, August 14th, 1983

'Hormel meatpackers on strike!'
- Los Angeles Times, August 29th, 1983

"Someone has to stand up for the workers. Our current president has undermined the role of organized labor in our society, and, by extension, the very foundations of American prosperity. As President I promise to support the unions and stand up for the little man."
- Governor Cliff Finch (D-MS) in a campaign speech in support of the Hormel meatpackers strike, September 3rd, 1983

'Parliament dissolved as Howe faces vote of no confidence, election scheduled for October 6th!'
- The Times of London, September 7th, 1983

'The Kingfinch? Governor Finch of Mississippi has been compared to the late Huey Long in recent days. Both men come from neighboring states along the Mississippi and, as they rose, were considered friends of the working man. Both have also been accused of having authoritarian tendencies. Finch is widely known for his current run for the Democratic presidential nomination in 1984, but he is running another campaign alongside the national one. His governorship expires in 1984, and he is up for reelection, an opportunity he is taking. Current polls show Finch with a twenty point lead over his Republican adversary, Leon Bramlett. Finch has established an effective machine throughout the state, similar to the ones that dominated the south just half a century ago. His influence even extends outside the state. Louisiana gubernatorial front-runner Edwin Edwards has publicly endorsed, and been endorsed by, Finch, which, in a state friendly to the Kingfinch practically ensures election. Cliff Finch will be a force to be reckoned with, and, if he mobilizes his base properly, may be able to unseat President Reagan next year.'
- New Yorker Magazine, early October, 1983

'Foot Prime Minister: Labour surges to over 350 seats, Howe resigns, alliance gains 29'
- The Times of London, October 7th, 1983

'Pym elected as new Tory leader'
- The Times of London, October 10th, 1983

"I cannot in good conscience support President Reagan and his warmongering policies. After much deliberation, I must leave the Republican Party. I will sit in Congress as an independent and will return to the party I have fought for for so long when, and if, it rejects the pugnacious attributes it has so recently developed."
- Representative Pete McCloskey (R-CA), October 15th, 1983

'Defections from Republican Party, twenty leave"
- Chicago Tribune, October 20th, 1983

'Cliff Finch wins third term as Governor! Edwards leads in Louisiana'
- Boston Herald, November 4th, 1983

An infobox of the 1983 Mississippi gubernatorial election.

'AFL-CIO endorses Finch'
- New York Times, November 20th, 1983

'Britain to leave war!'
- Chicago Tribune, November 27th, 1983

"I urge any man concerned at the declining wages and economic troubles in this country to vote for Cliff Finch. The President is engaged in an assault on organized labor unseen since the Gilded Age. Despite the way he sugarcoats his words, President Reagan does not have the needs of the common man in mind when he devises his economic programs. Governor Finch has worked in the fields and packed bags- he knows firsthand what works and what doesn't. He will be the peoples president!"
- AFL-CIO President Lane Kirkland campaigning for Governor Cliff Finch, December 3rd, 1983
"Ronald leaves me in the fucking dark! When he does tell me something he seems completely incoherent. The White House is a mess, I might be better off ditching the ticket next year."
- Vice President George Bush (R-TX) to his wife Barbara, December 15th, 1983
"We've dug up some serious fucking shit...

It can't be the worst we've ever run, what is it?

Well....apparently the President has some serious health issues and most of the decisions are made by Rumsfeld. We have a lot, look.

[SILENCE]

Fuck...I need to talk to Rupert."
- Conversation between unknown top-level New York Post officials, December 21st, 1983

 

[Baconheimer]

'Finch wins Iowa! Reagan tops McCloskey'
- New York Times, February 21st, 1984

'Brown, McCloskey take New Hampshire'
- New York Times, February 29th, 1984

'Hart sweeps Maine caucuses!'
- Los Angeles Times, March 5th, 1984

'Foot: We're leaving Iran'
- New York Times, March 8th, 1984

"How dare this motherfucker Foot leave our war! Americans and British have died, does he not give a shit about them? Bring the ambassador over here right now! Someone's going to be at the bottom of the hill."
- President Ronald Reagan on Britain's exit from the Iranian War, March 8th, 1984

"Who does he think he is? King Ronald the First? Someone needs to beat sense into that tinpot President and his little junta."
- Prime Minister Michael Foot on President Reagan's "conversation" with the British Ambassador, March 9th, 1983

'Hart carries Wyoming'
- Chicago Tribune, March 11th, 1984

'Finch sweeps South! Carries Alabama, Georgia, Florida, and Oklahoma - Hart does well in west, Mondale takes Washington'
- New York Times, March 14th, 1984

'Finch runs the board! Takes Michigan, Mississippi, Arkansas, and South Carolina. Hollings endorses Finch, Byrd suspends campaign'
- Chicago Tribune March 18th, 1984

'Mondale loses Minnesota, drops out, endorses Brown, Hart takes Illinois'
- New York Times, March 14th, 1984

'President Reagan senile?'
- New York Post, March 17th, 1984

"The President is in full control of his faculties. Anyone who says otherwise is either grossly misinformed or is spreading false information."
-White House Press Secretary James Brady, March 18th, 1984

'McCloskey gives Reagan a run for his money, takes Illinois and Minnesota"
- Chicago Tribune, March 21st, 1984

"It's been a good run, but I don't see any way forward that will make me the nominee in November. I am dropping out and endorsing Jerry Brown for the Democratic nomination for President of the United States."
- Jesse Jackson suspending his campaign, April 4th, 1984

'McCloskey narrowly loses Vermont, will not rule out independent run'
- Bangor Daily News, April 25th, 1984

"If we don't win big on Tuesday then there will be a contested convention. We have decent chances there, but, from what I hear, Hart has the advantage. Let's give one last push."
- Cliff Finch's campaign manager on the upcoming primaries and caucuses, June 1st, 1984

"After large victories in West Virginia and South Dakota and a strong showing California for Cliff Finch, we can conclusively report that he will be the Democratic nominee."
- Wayne Howell, NBC News, June 5th, 1984

'Finch: 41%
Reagan 32%
McCloskey 18%:'
- Gallup Polls, Early July 1984

'IRA vows to continue attacks'
- The Times of London, July 7th, 1984

"I intend to keep fighting all the way up until Philadelphia. I will not delude anyone, our chances there are not good but I am convinced that a quick conclusion to the war in Iran is the most important issue facing our country at this time. Even if not politically expedient, I will work by whatever means available towards ensuring a peace Republican takes office in 1985."
- Pete McCloskey, July 11th, 1984

'Finch chooses Brown as running-mate!'
- New York Times, July 12th, 1984

'Reagan/Bush renominated!'
- New York Times, July 25th, 1984

'McCloskey announces independent run with Lowell Weicker'
- Chicago Tribune, July 28th, 1984

'Ruairí Ó Brádaigh dead, British involvement rumored'
- The Irish Times, August 10th, 1984

"I thank you for electing me to lead this great party. I will devote all of my energy to the struggle and will not rest until all Ireland is free and green!"
- New Sinn Féin Leader Owen Carron, August 20th, 1984

'Finch: 45%
Reagan 31%
McCloskey 25%:'
- Gallup Polls, Early September 1984

'IRA escalates attacks!'
- New York Times, September 5th, 1984

"I represent a third way for all voters unhappy with President Reagan's extreme conservatism and Governor Finch's rather communitarian polices. I will seek an immediate end to the war in Iran and foster economic growth in a sensible fashion."
- Pete McCloskey at the first Presidential Debate, September 28th, 1984

"What we face is the worst economic crisis in half a century. The last depression was ended by President Roosevelt's New Deal, the policies Reagan supports have nothing in common with Roosevelt. I pledge to expand what is already in place to create a New Deal for a new America."
- Cliff Finch at the first Presidential Debate, September 28th, 1984

"Governor Finch advocates for peace in Iran, peace in Iran will lead to peace in Israel, peace in Europe, peace in Canada, and peace at home - if you define peace as losing, like the Democrats do. Vote Reagan in November to keep America safe."
- Reagan Campaign Ad aired in Southern United States, October 1984

'A new deal for a new America!'
- Seen on Finch '84 campaign signs, October 1984

'Finch: 48%
Reagan 41%
McCloskey 9%:'
- Gallup Polls, November 1st, 1984

"It looks like Senator Brown and myself have won enough electoral votes to take us to the White House. This is a great victory for the American people, but I will remind you, the fight is not over yet. I promised a new deal for a new America and intend to deliver on that promise. Years of fighting will be ahead but I can say this much - voting Cliff Finch in 1984 will be something you are proud of the rest of your life."
- Governor Cliff Finch (D-MS) in victory speech, November 6th, 1984

"I may not have won the Presidency, but, let's be honest - it was a long shot. Eleven electoral votes and twelve percent of the vote is a good showing. Our House candidates did better than I did. Though I now have no office, I will fight to bring the Republican party back to its senses."
- Rep. Pete McCloskey (R-CA) in concession speech, November 6th, 1984

"Fuck! Who the fuck do theses people think they are? Voting that dickhead from Mississippi into office. Everything we've fought for is lost. Most of the military is still loyal to us, we could always ensure that Reagan stays around a little longer."
- Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, early November 7th, 1984

'Finch wins in landslide, Democrats gain six seats in Senate, secure House majority'
- New York Times, November 7th, 1984

An infobox showing the results of the 1984 US Presidential Election.

An infobox showing the results of the 1984 US Senate Elections.

An infobox showing the results of the 1984 US House Elections.

'The Peace Republicans, despite their net loss of seats in the House and distant third place in the Presidential race pulled a victory out of what looked, on the surface, like grim returns. Compared to the Republican losses in the House, the Peace Republican losses were downright small. After the election and the continuing control of the Republican party by the Reaganite faction, Peace Republican officials made a decision to continue their fight and be a thorn in the side of the party they splintered from."
- from Counterrevolution, the Rise of the [REDACTED] Party by Simon Winchester, published 2010

'Queen Elizabeth dead at 58 of heart attack, Prince Charles to ascend throne'
- Chicago Tribune, November 15th, 1984

'House Minority Leader Michel announces resignation, Lott most likely successor'
- Roll Call, November 17th, 1984

'Gov. Bradley announces to Dellums to take Brown's Senate Seat'
- Los Angeles Times, December 1st, 1984

'Last ditch American offensive in Iran fails'
- Le Figaro, December 17th, 1984

 

[Baconheimer]

Before the next update, an infobox on the 1984 Democratic primaries.

 

[Baconheimer]

And the Republican primaries in infobox form.

 

[Baconheimer]

Well, I've finally got around to updating this.

Cabinet format taken from Gonzo's 'Follow the Money'

________

"Donald, I've heard some talk of using some rather......extreme measures to prevent the end of the war in Iran. I swore an oath to the United States Constitution and I take my oath very seriously. I hope nothing happens that would make that oath stand between you and I."
- Alexander Haig to Donald Rumsfeld, early January, 1985

"I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."
- Cliff Finch taking the Oath of Office of the President of the United States, January 21st, 1985

President: Cliff Finch (D-MS)
Vice President: Jerry Brown (D-CA)

Secretary of State: Frank Church (D-ID)
Secretary of Treasury: Kenneth Axelson (I-NY)
Secretary of Defense: Wesley Clark (D-AR)
Attorney-General: William Allain (D-MS)
Secretary of the Interior:Harvey L. Wollman (D-SD)
Secretary of Agriculture: Arlen Stangeland (R-MN)
Secretary of Commerce:George McGovern (D-SD)
Secretary of Labor: Lane Kirkland (I-SC)
Secretary of Health and Human Services: Louis W. Sullivan (R-GA)
Secretary of Education: Thomas Eagleton (D-MO)
Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Maurice "Moon" Landrieu (D-LA)
Secretary of Transportation: Endicott Peabody (D-MA)
Secretary of Energy: Hulett C. Smith (D-WV)

'Finch unveils cabinet nominees'
- New York Times, January 23rd, 1985

'Ceasefire in Iran!'
- Los Angeles Times, January 26th, 1985

'Finch unveils economic plan'
- The New York Times, January 29th, 1985

'Report: Finch to begin talks with Iran'
- The New York Times, February 3rd, 1985

'The exit of the United States from the Middle East was an ignominious affair. Peace with Iran was agreed upon between negotiators from the United States and delegates of General Fallahi in Amsterdam on March 6th. Faced with popular opposition in the rest of the Middle East as a result of the use of nuclear weaponry, the US was forced to withdraw troops from Saudi Arabia and other states. The withdrawal of US forces contributed to the toppling of the House of Saud and further'
- From The Crescent and the Stars, the United States in the Muslim World by James P. Clarke

"3. Iraq shall cede the territory within the bounds of Fig. A to Iran.

...........

7. All parties signatory to this treaty will recognize the Sajid government as the legitimate authority in Iraq.

...........

23. Israel shall withdraw its forces from Syria one month from the signing of this document.

24. Israel shall withdraw its forces from Lebanon within six months of the signing of this document. Before removal of its troops, it may oversee fair elections.

...........

35. Iran shall pay Iraq a sum of $30,000,000"
- From the Amsterdam Accords, February 1985

'Join the Civilian Auxiliary Service!'
- Seen on posters across America, March 1985

'Randolph-Biden Act passed'
- New York Times, April 20th, 1985

'....henceforth, the passage of so-called right-to-work laws by any locality, state, or any other government within the borders of the United States is banned....'
- Excerpt from the Randolph-Biden Act

"Mr. President, public opinion polls are simply against the continuation of our involvement in Arabia. We have to face the reality - the people want the military out."
- Conversation between President Finch and Secretary of State Church, late April 1985

"There is news from Beirut that today, militants with Iranian support bombed a synagogue during its weekly service. Most of the victims were Israeli soldiers on occupation duty in Lebanon. This comes just two months after the Amsterdam Accord was supposed to end conflict in that country. Since the bombing earlier today, there have been reports of a surge in violent incidents throughout Lebanon."
- ABC News, May 11th, 1985

"-we interrupt this program to bring you breaking news from Israel. There are reports from Jerusalem that elements of the military have occupied government buildings. The status of the President and Prime Minister are currently unknown."
- CBS News, May 15th, 1985

"The Peres government has not done its duty to protect the people of Israel from danger. The attack last week on our soldiers in Beirut has been the most apparent manifestation of this phenomenon. The government can no longer be trusted to protect the people of Israel. Yesterday, elements of our military took the Prime Minister and the Cabinet into custody before recalling me from Beirut. Martial law is declared in the whole of Israel and territories occupied by it until a more secure state can be reached."
- Rafael Eitan in a press conference in Jerusalem, May 16th, 1985

'Riyadh taken by militants - Islamic Republic of Arabia declared'
- The New York Times, June 15th, 1985

"You are Ali, I presume.

Yes- and you are Fanaei? You have the items?

Of course. We would not come to our brothers empty-handed. Ten crates of Kalishnikovs and six rocket-propelled grenades.
Good, good. We will drive the Nasibi from our land and secure the Holy Cities for the faithful, insha'Allah."
- Conversation between unknown Iranian Revolutionary Guard Major and militant in northeastern Arabia, mid-late June 1985

'The United States under President Finch appears to have shifted its focus away from the Middle East. Indeed, the Finch administration's Energy for America Act shows the commitment of the new regime to seeking sources of energy outside of Arabia. Already, American forces not required too under the Amsterdam Accords have been withdrawn from the region. Indeed, the American abandonment of the House of Saud further illustrates this point. It is highly advisable that our government begin preparations to fill the void left by the Americans in that region."
- Memorandum circulated in Soviet Defense Ministry, May-July, 1985

'Andropov goes to Tehran'
- Los Angeles Times, August 29th, 1985

'Forces loyal to Uday Hussein claim responsibility for blast in Tikrit'
- Miami Herald, September 15th, 1985

'Israeli forces suspected to be behind massacre in Damour, 47 dead'
- New York Times, October 5th, 1985

"The unfortunate events in Damour are just the most recent manifestation of the hyper-nationalism of the new Israeli military government. The United States government should be more forceful towards Israel regarding its flagrant violations of human rights in Lebanon."
- Senator Ron Dellums (D-CA), October 7th, 1985

"We interrupt this program to bring breaking news from Seattle. Vice President Brown has been shot after giving a speech at the University of Washington. The Vice Presidents condition is currently unknown. We..."
- Dan Rather, CBS Evening News, November 12th, 1985

'Brown shot, perpetrator in custody'
- New York Times, November 13th, 1985

'Yesterday, Vice President Jerry Brown was shot after giving a speech on trade at the University of Washington by a local man, David Lewis Rice. Rice, a Seattle native, has connections with the far-right Duck Club. Brown suffered only minor injuries in the assassination attempt, while Rice is in critical condition, stemming from gunshot wounds fired by the Secret Service."
- The Seattle Times, November 13th, 1985

'Finch announces $6 billion grant to NIH to research AIDS'
- Buffalo News, December 2nd, 1985

'YANKS OUT, TRIDENT OUT

BRITONS FOR PEACE AND BROTHERHOOD'
- Read on signs in London, early December 1985

'Finch visits Britain, meets with PM Foot'
- New York Times, December 15th, 1985

'President Finch visits London, anti-nuclear protests outside Number 10'
- The Times of London, December 15th, 1985