TLIAD: "Wheear 'ast tha bin sin' ah saw thee?"
- Thread starter Lord Roem
- Start date
Thande
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Good update. I suppose the advantage of a Yorkshire Transport Authority would be that there isn't one big city to suck in all the funds and screw everyone else over, as happened with Sheffield in the days of the South Yorkshire County Council. Although I can imagine a perpetual Tory-Labour war over who gets the most gritting funding, the rural northern B-roads or the up-and-downy city ones in places like Sheffield and Bradford.
As much as I love your take on a Yorkshire Assembly, I like the little snippets of uneven devolution over the rest of England just as much. Am I right to assume that 'Lancashire-Cumbria' doesn't include Merseyside or Greater Manchester?
Monday 6th August
Peers’ Dining Room, House of Lords
“Let’s cast them out into the North Sea,” my lunch companion says, “see how they like that!”
Professor Lord Sked of New Court is not a man to mince his words, even if they occasionally result in glares from other members of the Peerage. Lord Hamilton, erstwhile First Secretary, gives him a disapproving look from the neighbouring table.
Fifteen years ago, Alan Sked was not a man especially well known in public circles. Although he founded UKIP - a party now reaching 8% in the opinion polls - his time as leader was not a happy one, and he left the party for good shortly after the 1997 General Election, dismissing them as ‘far-right’, ‘fruitcakes’ and ‘infested by racists’ - it is clear that he does not hold personal grudges for too long though. As I met Lord Sked at Peers’ Entrance, I saw him sharing a joke with the Baron Willoughby de Broke, who now leads the small UKIP contingent in the Upper Chamber. Clearly, the outspoken opponent of ‘Asymmetric Devolution’ is a man of contradictions.
I'm fortunate to be dining in the House of Lords today - but a recall over airstrikes in Turkmenistan can sometimes be a positive thing. In my case, the 'positive thing' is the chance to have a three-course lunch for a third of West End prices.
I begin by asking the Crossbench Peer why he has become such a trenchant critic of the devolved Assemblies - after all, is he not, at heart, a Liberal?
“I have always been a Liberal,” Sked replies, “albeit one that is very much in the tradition of Gladstone, not Paddy or Shirley. The old Liberal Party -” I believe he is referring to the entity that existed prior to the merger with the SDP, although the Continuity Liberals remain a moderate force on Merseyside Council, of course “- were of Glorious Isolation and ensuring a balance of power on the continent, not the hodge-podge of bureaucrats and Europhiles that they have mutated into today.”
Our starters arrive, a welcome break in the conversation. I respond as Lord Sked drizzles lemon juice over his smoked salmon.
“Surely though,” I ask, “you are still fundamentally a Liberal? I was always under the impression that you have called for the devolution of power as far down as possible - by calling for the abolition of the Yorkshire Assembly, aren’t you doing precisely what you complain against with regard to Brussels?”
Sked scoffs.
“The United Kingdom has existed since 1707,” he replies, Sked was born and raised in the Highlands, although you have to strain to hear the Scottish accent, “the European Union is barely a tenth of that age - it is nonsense to compare them.”
I furrow my brow. Maastricht only kicked-in in 1993 - and it’s been nearly sixty years since Rome. I decide not to bring it up.
Even so, I continue, why complain about the decline of democracy when people are overwhelmingly supportive of the continued existence of the devolved institutions.
My companion laughs his response.
“Because people like a freebie,” he snorts, pointing an accusing finger at me, “all the Assemblies are - I expected you of all people to know this, are boondoggles that just hand out the shinies that they get from the Treasury.”
He reaches for the pepper-pot.
“Look at it like this,” he says, seasoning the smoked fish, “have you ever realised how much these ‘democratic’ institutions have centralised power for themselves, whilst giving it up elsewhere? Look at Scotland, eight police forces merged into a single one - it doesn’t matter than the Highlands Police had to give up their patrol boats to a single depot on the Clyde - so long as Angus Mcwhateverhisnameis can pretend to be a Generalissimo, who cares about accountability?”
The fussily-dressed waiter arrives, wine is poured - an English Sauvignon Blanc, I notice.
“In your neck of the woods,” he continues, “you’ve seen the number of caseworkers cut by around a third. ‘Oh, people don’t need too many tiers of government’ Mr Healey always says, ‘who really needs a Councillor when they’ve got a MYA?’ - nonsense, Councillors used to actually care about potholes and that, but which self-respecting greasy-pole climber is going to care about acute cancer provision when they just want to end up as Education Obergruppenführer?”
Lord Sked is fun to talk to - he was even more entertaining as a lecturer - so I sense that I am being played somewhat.
I ask him if, therefore, his opposition is less down to devolution, more down to uppity local politicos.
“That is certainly part of it,” he continues, “but I have to admit that it is the whole unevenness of the organisation that is the real risk to the unity of these isles. The Home Counties don’t seem to want ‘devolution’ - and we have to respect that, but not if they continue to complain about giving money up for ‘The North’ whilst not accepting the need for them to have more say over their own affairs.”
I have to ask him if you can just ‘force’ democracy onto other people.
“Not really,” he concedes, “a decade ago, we’d have done very well just to abolish the Yorkshire Assembly, the elected Mayors and even the National Parliaments without any rescinding plebiscites at all - but we’ve arguably gone too far down the line of things being Constitutionally Binding - we either need full federalisation, or none at all.”
Sked still lectures at the LSE, where he teaches a very popular course on ‘The Four Reichs’. Does he, in that case, believe that the United Kingdom is pretending to be Modern Germany, when it is actually closer to Austria-Hungary?”
“Unquestionably,” he replies, “so we either need a new settlement, or just go the whole hog and draft an ‘Act of Balkanisation’ in time for the next election. That said,” he adds, “I wouldn’t mind it so much, just if some of the devolved assemblies started talking about lowering tax, rather than just trying to be ‘Considerably More Social Democratic Than Yow.’”
The division bell calls as we share a laugh.
“Bah,” he replies, “the Airstrikes Vote - I shall be back.”
Sked follows a couple of his fellow Peers through the hidden door at the back of Dining Room which offers a shortcut to the ‘Content’ Lobby. I decide to wait for him to return. The main thrust of our interview, however, is over.
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Speak of the Devil...
Lord Sked is a slightly terrifying prospect - and doubtless a popular (if divisive) figure in the Lords. Which way did he vote on airstrikes, I wonder?
Lord Sked is a slightly terrifying prospect - and doubtless a popular (if divisive) figure in the Lords. Which way did he vote on airstrikes, I wonder?
Knowing Alan, he could have called for an amendment that was in support of a tactical nuclear strike on China.
Anyway - this ended up taking twice as long as I wanted it to (I should really stop doing these on a working day...) but there's only one post left now. I won't post it until I've got a couple more comments, because I'm a whore for your attention.
Another excuse to visit the far north! Some friends live near by so I shall try and talk them into it
Thursday 20th November, 2014
The Speaker, Westminster
“I can put the sound on, if you want?”
I thank the landlord as I pay for my third pint, and second bag of pork scratchings, of the evening. I once again make the daily mental reminder to check how over the weekly recommended alcohol intake I am and I once again instantly forget.
Summer never seems to last as long as it did when I was a kid, and the long days and warm temperatures that I enjoyed when I was writing my article for the ‘New Statesman’ seems a long-forgotten memory. It was a fairly enjoyable graduate scheme, but I was pleased to have had the offer to jump ship to the International Office at the Liberal Democrats. I sometimes think back wistfully to the radical three months I spent as a member of the LRC - but being a Second Year Undergrad is always a crazy time for engaging in political fads.
Given that it is literally in front of the Home Office, I’m not surprised to see that The Speaker is the sort of pub that is happy to put on Question Time rather than England vs Slovenia.
“Oi!” a Tory staffer I vaguely know from the Sports and Social cries, flagging me down, “Come and watch it with me, Mr ‘Blame London For Everything’ is on this evening!"
And so he is.
“Mr Healey,” a man in a ugly jumper and with an even uglier face is pontificating in a Hull accent, “given that people have literally been starving to death at the The Northern General - how long will it be before Labour admit that they’ve got it wrong on the NHS?”
There’s some jeering from the audience - it clearly isn’t going to be an easy evening for the First Secretary, even on his home patch.
“Look,” he replies, the smile already fading, “what has happened at the Northern General is appalling, and we have already moved towards a full enquiry into what happened, how it happened, and how we can stop it happening again. However, what I will say is that - if we had not had our budget cut...”
The audience has already started to cat-call - the camera pans back towards the interrogator, puce with anger.
“You never actually bother to admit that you’ve got in wrong...” he begins, just before David Dimbleby steps in.
“Mr Healey,” the Lion of Auntie begins, “if I can press you to give one reply that doesn’t involve the word ‘Westminster’, please?”
Healey looks chastised, and mumbles a forgettable reply about ‘total transparency’ on the issue.
My Tory companion gives a braying laugh, “he’s crap, your man is,” he says to me.
I once again point out that I’m a LibDem now, but it doesn’t seem to make much difference.
The Minister for Yorkshire, Tony Calvert or whoever, does his best to talk about dead people in a way that doesn’t make him look like he is enjoying himself.
“Your guy isn’t much better,” I whisper. We both share a knowing look.
That much is true, I only had to endure a year or so of Philip Davies’ regime before I went down to university, but Yorkshire has a long collective memory - it is going to be a while before the Conservatives get back in the driving seat at the Odeon.
Typically, I find myself siding with my own guy and the bloke from the Spectator who combines the diverse passions of Pat Buchanan, Viz and Anglo-Catholicism.
“Oh great,” my colleague moans in a cod-Tyke accent as the next question comes up, “yeah, I’m sure that John Healey is going to give the order for HMS t’Invincible to launch a strategic strike on Tashkent.”
I point out that he’s being racist against my people.
“You’re the one who always bangs on about ‘Wankashire’!” he points out. I concede the point.
After another ten minutes of petty point scoring, I remind myself why I haven’t watched QT for the best part of three months.
I drain my glass and grab my hat - it’s been a long evening and I’ve got an early start in the morning.
Bidding George and the landlord farewell, I check my jacket pocket for my passport. It’s still there. Good - I have to go to Penzance tomorrow.
T’end
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Favourite line so far
it is going to be a while before the Conservatives get back in the driving seat at the Odeon
it is going to be a while before the Conservatives get back in the driving seat at the Odeon
This TL is the lead up to this thread: www.alternatehistory.com/discussion/showthread.php?t=271565&highlight=cornwall*
