TLIAD: La Isla Blanca

Lord Roem

Lord Roem

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Ah - now this is different!

Cheers! Yeah, it's a new format that I'm experimenting with that will hopefully bridge the gap between...

No, I mean the Sub-Forum. You've put it in 'Before 1900'.

What do you mean?

For once, finally, it means that you aren't going to do something about British politics.

Well...

Seriously? I mean, you're not even a one-trick pony are you? You're currently lagging behind a baby horse.

A pony isn't a baby horse though.

What?

A foal is a baby horse, a pony is a breed of horse.

'And our next contestant on "I Don't Care About Baby Horses" is - me'

Where were you going with this?

I dunno - something about you failing to do anything original. Meadow did one on Boris Johnson, you failed to do one about David Miliband being Francis Urquhart or something. Then he did that Soviet one, and you did that Russian one, then you both did the one where all the Prime Ministers were in Cards Against Humanity.

'Shuffling The Deck'

Whatever - the point is, this isn't really a good track record.

I happen to think I've made a decent enough contribution, besides - it's Christmas in a couple of weeks, where is your Christian zeal?

I think we lost it when we started reading all that Asushin stuff.

I really hope people don't Google that.

Me too - anyway, where is this going to go?

It's snapshots from an alternate universe, but over a much longer period of time than anything I've done in the past. Again, I'm not really going for anything much in terms of world building, but I hope people realise what the story I'm trying to tell is.

Carry on.

And I've done a couple of pastiches along the way, because Meadow once said that I was really good at them.

You're just a Northern Blue Labour hack, aren't you?

I prefer the term 'A Morrisons Enoch Powell'

I see what you did there. Shall we begin?

Sure thing! A long time ago, on a miserable February morning in Lisbon...​
 
Lord Roem

Lord Roem

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(Taken from ‘The Journal of Álvaro de Bazán, 1st Marquis of Santa Cruz’ cited in “Spain in the Era of Felipe II” by Gerardo Smyth-Dorrien, Arkham, 2003)

February 1st, 1588

Arose from bed - still feverish and sweating profusely - to receive an Emissary from His Majesty. The herald, a young man of some twenty-three summers, did then present his credentials to me and requested my attendance at Court as soon as my humours returned. I did question him most ardently at this point, believing myself to still be out of favour (an matter of affairs that I currently felt responsible for much of my current precarious physical condition.)

The Emissary assured me of my present position within the court having recovered somewhat and that His Majesty did accept his haste in accusing me of wilful inaction during the events at Cadiz the previous spring, wherein I had been chastised to such an extent as to cause me to be laid low with pleuritis. Upon hearing the summons - I did call for Don Hernandez, who hath given me a new concoction of his own devising. At sundown, I thus return’d to bed, much rested.

[...]​

April 4th, 1588

To La Coruña, and to make a fuller inspection of the flotilla currently in anchorage there - much enlarged by the recent addition of the fleet recently arrived from New Grenada. I did say as much to Don Alonso - who seems little angered by his reassignment to as Command-in-Chief of the Demarcation Forces - indeed, his good humour did carry us both well through into the evening, though I took ill around nine, and left for my quarters to recuperate ahead of the Pope’s Blessing.

[...]​

May 21st, 1588

Provisions for embarkation continue to be so garnered, including those additional ones so required to accommodate the forces currently assembling at Gravelines - some one-hundred-and-fifty hundred score in total, a host that I have ever confidence of being able to strike the English asunder. Following Vespers, a late message from the Court arrived, detailing the irrevocable end to negotiations between His Majesty and The Queen of the English. I did inspect the São Martinho and marvell upon the odyssey awaiting - the die cast, our Great Armada must sail!

[...]​

July 18th, 1588

At twilight, the coast of England was duly sighted by the lead vessel - the promontory known as ‘The Lizard’ - upon hearing the news, I did request that the Great Crescent of the fleet be scattered somewhat, so as to impede the risk of fire-ships causing havoc. My caution did thus play out as the night drew in, as our easternmost flank did report flames approaching the horizon. Although much a-feared, the men did later note the flames to be those of beacons upon the mainland - no doubt warning of our arrival to The Queen’s Court in London. I chose to do little to beguile our intentions, our course being expected, and our vast size being impossible to avoid.

July 19th, 1588

Awoke to cannonfire! Having taken advantage of favourable winds upon the weather-gage, the English Fleet did harry the external ships of the Great Crescent - our current arrangement being unsuited to defence of our supply vessels. Upon the order, our central formation did close in, limiting the damage from the attackers. Ill-tempered manoeuvres within the Squadron of Castile forced the abandonment of La Asunción - yet little directed damage had been taken - I did order a pursuit of the flankers back towards the English coast by three Galleass’.

[...]​

July 22nd, 1588

The English Fleet having escaped entrapment within the confines of the harbour of Plymouth - I proposed a division of the fleet, whereupon I found myself in furious discussions with the rest of the Council. Medina Sidonia, obstinate to the last, refused to countenance such a proposal, whilst the representatives from the army did argue the risks associated with leaving the Army of Flanders away from provisioning. I did argue against this enfeebled stance, but found myself unable to argue the merits of the case prior to the arrival of the English fleet.

The skirmish proved far more damaging than the first - with six vessels being entangled or destroyed, with the English barely scoured. Bitterness did overwhelm me, and I confined myself to my quarters for the remainder of the day. Later discussions with the Council did absolve me of blame, whereupon the decision was made to make haste for the Dutch coast by the Squadrons of Biscay and Castile under Medina Sidonia’s command. The remainder - under my sole command - did make for the English fleet at Portland.

[...]​

July 24th, 1588

A victory, of sorts, was had today!

Engagement with the English within the so-called Solent brought with it the destruction of six enemy vessels, much to the astonishment of The Queens forces’ encamped before us. I did cheer most heartily with the rest of the men when the lead Galleon did become entrapped upon the sandbanks, and it proved for fine target practice, with the gasps of the sailors proving succour to mine ears after a week of frustration. Passage between the ‘Isle of White’ and the mainland currently belongs to the fleet, and may thus make for a fine strategic settlement upon the arrival of the forces from Gravelines.

The Dragon’s beard has been singed!

[...]​

July 27th, 1588

Disaster of a most heinous degree did emerge at Noon - whereupon news reached mine ears regarding the abject failure of Medina Sidonia to allow for the Embarkation of but one of the Army of Flanders. The flyboats of the Republic - akin to vermin around carrion - hath prevented all forces from being able to board their troopships.

Am I to be so continuously harassed by incompetence, fools, and Dutchmen!?

The cause of landing upon the English mainline is clearly moot - and the wretched Whore Queen of that miserable island hath clearly made a pact with demons.

My reputation clearly hath only a vain hope of salvage - a prize, however minor, must be claimed.

D*mn, d*mn, d*mn!!!

[...]​

July 30th, 1588

The landing on the ‘Isle of Wight’ proceeded with ease, the populace already much terrorised by our arrival and the garrison there largely removed to the mainland.

Don Alonso did prove his worth, capturing the garrison at the New Port with ease and raising our standard high above the parapets.

I did disembark at slack water - relishing the land beneath my feet at long last.

At sundown, the English did thrown six fireships at the fleet, but to little effect - panic’d, most clearly.

[...]​

August 2nd, 1588

Still air and stifling temperatures have lain many men low with fever, and raiding parties from the interior harass all those who leave the walls of the garrison. An annoyance, but nothing compared to the rage that The King shall doubtless be feeling.

My disgrace, once again, approaches - perhaps that was the intention.

Storm clouds did approach and I bade the fleet shelter within the confines of the bay.

[...]​

August 5th, 1588

An emissary from The Harlot Queen did arrive - requesting parley.

My patience worn out, I did acquiesce to the request, only to find my counterpart being The Lord Burghley. His attitude, whilst arrogant, did hint at a graver situation upon the English than I hath lead to believe. I questioned him further, with the news that unrest by the Loyal Co-Religionists in the North of his realm having resulted in much confusion of his Queen’s forces.

I did thus request that the Armada be allowed for free passage of the French Ocean, with a remainder of two score ships to remain at the ‘Isle of Wight’ and the guarantor of all men currently settled therein.

Consideration was clearly given - to which the men were greatly cheered by the apparent secession of the island.

[...]​

5th November, 1588

Settlement between the English and the Crown was finally so reached today in the presence of mine Lord and Master - the blessed Medina Sidonia, Duke of Isla Blanca.

Oh! So fortunate am I to be allowed to but gaze upon the munificence of The Great And Noble Duke Of All England And The Fishes And Mammalian Animals Of The Seven Seas!

News from England does hint at a near end to the unrest plaguing The Whore Queen - though the Galician settlers clearly hath not been so affected by that - the miserable cold and wet of this wretched place being clearly suited to them!

I hath little else to say upon this point, only that God is to be praised for ridding me of any future for further adventuring in the turbulent waters of Biscay.

‘La Isla Blanca’ is clearly an extension of the Crown now - and the Crown is welcome to it!​
 
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Meadow

Meadow

Starting with the Armada is inspired, and the diary style here is very authentic. I love the cameo from the Low Countries' armies. So the Isle is now a Spanish Duchy! I wonder what impact this will have on the Civil War?

Can't wait for more, Jack. You're a pro, and this whole exercise is proof of that. 'D*mn!' also made me giggle.
 
area11

area11

I hope this shall end with an alternate AH.com excerpt where our Spanish members complain of the petty nationalistic English who keep bringing up La Isla Blanca to distract from their own economic woes.
 
Thande

Thande

Donor
area11 said:
I hope this shall end with an alternate AH.com excerpt where our Spanish members complain of the petty nationalistic English who keep bringing up La Isla Blanca to distract from their own economic woes.
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I think you may have just spoiled the ending.

Smashing work, Roem. I wonder if the Spanish will dredge up the fact that the Isle of Wight was the last part of England to convert to Christianity as either an excuse to wheel out the auto-da-fé or argue that its people were clearly not duped by Protestant heresy (carefully ignore order of events).
 
Lord Roem

Lord Roem

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(Taken from ‘The Cambridge Companion to Shakespeare’ by Suffer-Not-Injustice Dell, Cambridge University Press, 1994)

‘Faerie Fortunes Foundered’ (originally published in an abridged form under the title ‘The Duke’s Mite’ owing to the censorship laws present at the time) was published in the Spring of 1607. Although far from Shakespeare’s finest work, the play nevertheless holds some merit to the scholar to day - especially for it’s searing (and not especially subtle) portrayal of Spanish foreign policy. The capture of the Isle of Wight by the forces of Philip II of 1588 had proven to be a tremendous blow to English prestige - going so far as to prompt a Catholic-led uprising in the North and a permanent secession of the island to the Spanish Crown. The death of Elizabeth in 1601 and the brief power struggle between the supporters of James VI and those of his cousin - Lady Arbella Stuart - left a lasting impression upon English culture at the time, largely immortalised in Donne’s first great work, ‘An Elegy for the Sanctity of the Crown’. ‘Elegy’ would prove to be the primary inspiration, alongside Erasmus's Naufragium, for the basic plot of ‘Faerie Fortunes Foundered’ - although it is one of the few works by Shakespeare to be considered a ‘stand-alone’, alongside ‘The Maelstrom’ and ‘The Merry Widower’.

‘Faerie Fortunes Foundered’ is obstentiously set in Dalmatia (now part of the Venetian Republic) - although the mannerism and absurdities of the inhabitants hint at the real location being set somewhat closer to Shakespeare's homeland.

The Treaty of Lugo - transferring control of the Isle of Wight to the Spanish Crown - had nevertheless ensured a steady stream of trade and commerce between England and her erstwhile possession in the Channel, and cordial relations between the native population and the Galician settlers had greatly aided in the rebuilding of ties between the two nations (the execution of Francis Drake for ‘High Piracy’ in 1594 being a clear example) - the interaction between two separate communities, forming a grudging respect for one another, is a clear reflection of the Bard’s own impression of the Spanish dependency - although it is unlikely that he ever visited the island personally.

The play itself is very much typical of Shakespeare's middle-period Comedies - and familiar themes emerge to those seen in ‘A Winter’s Refrain’ and ‘Titania and Lysander’ - although the concept of ‘The Other’ (the titular faerie) is more prominently seen here than in any other work. It is likely that he penned the work in-keeping with the tastes of King James, who held a life-long interest in the supernatural. Indeed, some six months after the initial performance, ‘The Duke of Norfolk’s Men’ gained the official patronage of the monarch, allowing Shakespeare far more artistic freedom than he had hitherto enjoyed. Thus, whilst the material itself is somewhat weaker than others within the Canon, it nevertheless marks a major point in Shakespeare’s career and his rise to full notability amongst the leading artists of the day.
King Philopoemen of Dalmatia is bored, and greatly relishes the company of his childhood friend, Duke Henry of Styria. Henry - whilst keen to remain at the Dalmatian Court - is bound by his honour to return to his own realm, as the Turkish Army are reported to be encroaching into his territories. King Philopoemen’s wife, Helena, intercedes on her husband’s behalf, and Henry reluctantly agrees to remain in Dalmatia for another month.

Co-currently, Queen Iona of the Fearies is equally conflicted. Her own lands are also threatened by the Turkish - this time in the guise of a number of spirits and thieves that threaten to ransack her Palace in the Syrian countryside. Realising that only Henry’s military prowess is sufficient to protect her, she orders her ‘Seven Wisest Fools’, led by the Jester, Cycliadas, to force the Duke to return.

Initially, nothing seems to work, with early attempts only prolonging Henry’s stay within Dalmatia. In desperation, Cycliadas slips a potion to the Duke’s wife - Fiona - which leads to her falling in love with Lord Lucas, King Philopoemen’s Secretary of State. Initially aimed at throwing Duke Henry into so great a fury as to prompt him to leave Dalmatia for good, the plan backfires, with Henry believing the whole idea to be an attempt by the King to drive him to insanity so that Philopoemen may claim Fiona for himself.

Fending off Fiona’s advances, Lucas flees to the woodlands of Styria as Henry raises an army - not against the approaching Turks - but against his erstwhile friend. Lucas stumbles upon Queen Iona’s court, where he chastises Cycliadas for his foolishness. Realising her mistake, Iona produces an antidote for Fiona to drink - before realising that the tears of the person who has consumed the love potion are required for the antidote to work. Fiona herself has been capture by Duke Henry, who imprisons his wife in a tower within his own encampment, where he is currently laying siege to Philopoemen’s castle.

In desperation, Lucas and the Seven Fools attempt to storm the tower, but they are entrapped by the forces of Henry’s personal guard, led by Humbert. At the guard approach, Fiona appears at the doorway, and bursts into tears at the sight of her lover about to be slaughtered. The tears are caught in a veil held by the youngest fool, Menelaus, and the antidote takes effect.

Philopoemen - who has ridden to confront Henry in single combat - finds the Duke reconciled with his wife. The two embrace, their feud forgotten, and the King offers to send his own forces to help confront the Turks. Queen Iona, now free from her curse of having to remain hidden away, also appears - and all factions, now reconciled, make plans for a wedding celebration between Lucas and Iona, who have grown to love one another during their tribulations.​
Contemporary reports indicate that ‘The Duke’s Mite’ was well received at the time, even prompting a favourable review by the Spanish Ambassador, the Count of Oñate. Although the Saint Swithin's Day Massacre of the following year was to lead to a long period of strained relationships between English Catholics and Protestants - ‘Faerie Fortunes Foundered’ nevertheless stands as an early example of the ‘Restoration Theatre’ period, wherein contemporary social issues were reconciled via absurdist allegory.

the_duke_s_mite_by_lordroem-d890f7j.jpg
 
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Meadow

Meadow

It takes a special kind of genius to create an AH artwork which is notable for being mediocre. Any fool can wax lyrical about a defining piece of literature!

I thought this was brilliant, at times I almost forgot I was reading a TL, in f-

Lord Roem said:
Dalmatia (now part of the Venetian Republic)
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'DO YOU LIKE BUTTERFLIES?'
Roem, NO!
*sound of smashing crockery*
 
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Dr. Strangelove

Banned
News from England does hint at a near end to the unrest plaguing The Whore Queen - though the Galician settlers clearly hath not been so affected by that - the miserable cold and wet of this wretched place being clearly suited to them!
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:D

I've read that the issue with british weather is less the rain than the seemingly random daily changes from sunny to rainy to cloudy and back. Surely they would find that an improvement over the uniform greyness of galician winters and autumns!

The Treaty of Lugo - transferring control of the Isle of Wight to the Spanish Crown - had nevertheless ensured a steady stream of trade and commerce between England and her erstwhile possession in the Channel, and cordial relations between the native population and the Galician settlers had greatly aided in the rebuilding of ties between the two nations (the execution of Francis Drake for ‘High Piracy’ in 1594 being a clear example) - the interaction between two separate communities, forming a grudging respect for one another, is a clear reflection of the Bard’s own impression of the Spanish dependency - although it is unlikely that he ever visited the island personally.
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Nice!

If/When the british take Gibraltar I can see that becoming less the sore spot it is IOTL and more like a shared national joke between Britain and Spain.
 
St. Just

St. Just

This is very nice indeed. Love the name Suffer-Not-Injustice, along with the Art Deco poster and the alt-Shakespeare.
 
Thande

Thande

Donor
Tsar Gringo said:
This is very nice indeed. Love the name Suffer-Not-Injustice, along with the Art Deco poster and the alt-Shakespeare.
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I presume that's a Discworld reference, as though the name is in the style of Puritan ones I think it's Pratchett's invention.

Nice work, Jack: as Meadow says, good to hear about a mediocre work for once. The term 'Restoration Theatre' has certain hints for the future, but it might be different to OTL's meaning.
 
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