Britain was called Albion because of the White Cliffs of Dover, it could make a nice Pun Alba or the name of Scotland and the Other name of Britain means White as well, it could well be the name of a Spanish occupied part of Britain.
TLIAD: La Isla Blanca
- Thread starter Lord Roem
- Start date
One wonders if anyone named Theodore was involved with Bill's "Most Excellente Comerdie" 
Also should "diuerle" be "diuerſe"?
Also should "diuerle" be "diuerſe"?
I always like leaving little hints about the Shape of things to Come - which is always the nice thing about the TLIAD formula.
As Thande also noted - it is good to hear about a mediocre work for once, although I would say that the main reason I used it was to give me a bit of breathing room in the event of me doing a dreadful attempt at a Shakespearean comedy - for instance, there was not even a single example of a humorous misunderstanding about transvestism.
I've read that the issue with british weather is less the rain than the seemingly random daily changes from sunny to rainy to cloudy and back. Surely they would find that an improvement over the uniform greyness of galician winters and autumns!
I'm delighted that - as one of our most prominent Spanish members - you could see the point that I was trying to go for here.
I realise that the concept itself is a little ASB (although I don't think it is entirely absurd) - but it was a fun idea to come up with. I've been to Galicia a couple of times when I've made the trip down to see Mummy Roem and Daddy Roem in Murcia (I hate flying...) and it seems like the obvious place to draw settlers from.
I've not quite decided what to do with The Rock as of yet, although the idea of a reciprocal, tit-for-tat capture does sound like the sort of historical absurdity so beloved of OTL.
Thanks very much - I was inspired by EdT's poster of the Trans-Saharan Railway, but I felt that I could get away with it as a little bit of an homage.
Cheers Thande. As it happens, I'd wanted to use some Puritan names for a while (because BUTTERFLIES!!!) and actually totally forgotten that 'Suffer-Not-Injustice' was from Discworld, rather than OTL! It's realistic enough to get away with though, I rather hope!
One wonders if anyone named Theodore was involved with Bill's "Most Excellente Comerdie"
Also should "diuerle" be "diuerſe"?
"Diuerle" is supposed to be faux-17th Century for "Duly" actually, and I couldn't be arsed trying to do a long-S in the font that I was using, so I went with using 'F's instead.
(Taken from ‘A Journey to the Spanish Island of the Solent’ by Samuel Johnson, Prenderghast [Facsimile], 1976)
I had desired to visit the Spanish Island - what the inhabitants call ‘La Isla Blanca’ - and which is known to history as ‘The Isle of Wight’ for quite some time. Indeed, such an extended period took place between my first musings of the idea and the present time as to render the original inclination quite lost to my memory. However, in the autumn of 1773, I had - in finding my friend, Mr Boswell - a companion whose acuteness would help in my inquiry, and in whose manners and gaiety of conversation I believed to be more than sufficient to outpace the mundanities of travel.
On the seventh of September, Mr Boswell and I departed from London, a city which I know too well as to require any further elocution from me, and we travelled southwards, through the Hampshire countryside in the direction of the City of Portsmouth, a city that also defies description, but for reasons that I am sure the reader will be grateful for in sparing them additional detail. Indeed, as we crossed the port’s limits to await our vessel, the primary occupation of the women of the lower classes was quite visible to Mr Boswell and myself, for where there are sailors, companionship quite often makes itself available.
We had arrived in Portsmouth quite later than anticipated, and consequently found the inn so full that we had some difficulty in acquiring admission. Mr Boswell, much to his credit, made my name known to the proprietor, and lodging was acquired, wherein we found a very good house and civil treatment.
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At dawn, Mr Boswell and I awoke early, and found ourselves at the arranged quay in sufficient time as to introduce ourselves to the helmsman, who introduced himself as ‘Don Suárez-Hopkins’, for - as is custom in the Isle - it is common for those who have intermarried with the English natives to take a duel-surname. As our hour of departure approached, we found by our good fortune that we were to be his only passengers, and our journey out of the Great Harbour found us little wanting for space or ablution.
The line between the two realms is unclear - and the Spanish flotilla guards the crossing most judiciously, and we were inspected on no less that three occasions by the various launches that make their peace across the Solent. However, the captain was differential and polite, and the winds good - and and our passage was quick and pleasant. The port of Chaja - formally ‘Cowes’ - remains the sole means of entry into this farflung extension of the Spanish Crown, and even given the soothing of relationships between their nation and ours, given our mutual involvement within the Grand Alliance, a degree of scepticism of our intentions was apparent as such as we came to disembark. Mr Boswell was interrogated most furiously by the Customs Official, to which I eventually felt minded to present my compliments to ‘Don Caraballo’ in the form of an indulgence. Thus satisfied that we did not set out to plant the Union Flag through his foot - we were thus permitted to enter the town proper.
Chaja is known for its superb anchorage and fine crosswinds, which make it an attractive location for the idle sons of the aristocracy to practice their naval skills. We noted a brace of fine boats race one another from the Promenade - and joined in the cheering when the second vessel capsized. Our appetites for the humiliation of at least one Spaniard thus taken, Mr Boswell and I requested a coach, which arrived and allowed for us to make for the Governor’s seat at Puerto Nuevo, which had been recommended to Mr Boswell and I as the most suitable place from which to base ourselves.
Our journey was quick - for the Isle is of a most meager size - and the storehouses and wharfs of the Rio Medina provided a great distraction for the two of us, piled as many of them were by the sherries and port wines that are so popular amongst London society. Our driver encouraged us to make use of them, for their costs remain far below any that may be bargained for on our own territory.
At Puerto Nuevo - formally the county seat of Newport - we were surprised to be greeted by a representative of the Governor, who requested us attend upon his Master during the evening. After finding our lodging at what we had assumed to be the best inn in town, we had lunch set before us, which we found to be most agreeable - the provision of spices being far more affable than at any table in England - and the local produce being of a most wonderful character in of itself. The local delicacy, blood sausage infused with the flavours of the Galicians, was of particular merit, and I encouraged Mr Boswell to partake of as much as he could prior to our reception at the Governor’s Mansion.
Puerto Nuevo is a pretty, but well fortified settlement, and a martial presence is to be expected. Our guide informed us that the population is much swelled since the Era of Queen Bess, and trade between his nation and ours, despite all protestations to the contrary, has become vital in recent years.
The Cathedral of Our Lady of the Waters afforded us another proof of the waste of the English Reformation. The miserable little Church that still stands within its grounds - catering as it does for the small Protestant community - is removed yet further by the magnificence of the edifice beyond it. A paper was here presented to us, from which we were able to deduct (for my Spanish is far superior to what it was) the history of the venerable structure. Neither Mr Boswell or myself felt minded to enter the sanctum itself, but it is evidence clear enough of our inferiority in this regard, to which we should all be most ashamed. Our own cathedrals are mouldering by unregarded dilapidation, to which seems to be part of the despicable philosophy of the time to treat any augmentation as sacrilege. We turned away, much furied by this.
At evening, we came to the grounds of the Governor’s Palace, and were surprised to be received by the Marquis of San Saturnino - a figure most prominent prior to the recent conclusion of hostilities against the Habsburg League. He proved for a most entertaining and erudite companion, and Mr Boswell and myself were greatly heartened by his commitment to his duty and to the peaceful relations that have emerged between Madrid and London. The lost of ‘The Isle of Wight’ may still stir much resentment amongst the Court Party and the Howardite Radical Covenanters, but to Mr Boswell and I, the development of industry and fruitful trade remains the language of progress, to which the Marquis was pleased to join us in a toast.
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Interesting TLIAD. It would definitely be ironic if Britain somehow still got Gibraltar in this TL.
It would be perhaps more amusing if they kept somewhere more iconic to holiday makers, like Ibiza or Malaga.
Come visit Ivica, the Edinburgh of the Belarics, home of the Covenantor's mighty fortress, the Knox.
Come visit Ivica, the Edinburgh of the Belarics, home of the Covenantor's mighty fortress, the Knox.
Superb once more. You have a real knack for capturing the pretentiousness and quiet disdain Johnson and his ilk had for the world. Particular highlights include 'Puerto Nueva', the appetite for the humiliation of a Spaniard, the Rio Medina presumably being named after the first Duke, and the Court Party. I just know you're going to have fun with the last one in the 20th century.
I wonder where is next? Something late Victorian, perhaps, as holidaymaking becomes all the rage? What will industry and railways bring to the Spanish Island, I wonder?
You're not taking a butterfly-free approach here, which is fun, but it does leave me hoping that something approaching WWII occurs, and that Spain has the 'Axis-leaning Neutral' position it had IOTL. The possibilities of such a thing are magnificent.
I wonder where is next? Something late Victorian, perhaps, as holidaymaking becomes all the rage? What will industry and railways bring to the Spanish Island, I wonder?
You're not taking a butterfly-free approach here, which is fun, but it does leave me hoping that something approaching WWII occurs, and that Spain has the 'Axis-leaning Neutral' position it had IOTL. The possibilities of such a thing are magnificent.
Thande
Donor
Good take on Johnson's language.
I can imagine this changing religious politics in England - the Isle might be seen as a hospitable refuge for Catholics fleeing oppression, and on the other hand would be a bugbear for anti-Catholic diatribes. I could see it being treated as sort of like Cuba in the Cuban Missile Crisis, but with the Pope instead of nukes as it were.
I wonder what happened to it during the Civil War, though I might perhaps be overthinking this...
I can imagine this changing religious politics in England - the Isle might be seen as a hospitable refuge for Catholics fleeing oppression, and on the other hand would be a bugbear for anti-Catholic diatribes. I could see it being treated as sort of like Cuba in the Cuban Missile Crisis, but with the Pope instead of nukes as it were.
I wonder what happened to it during the Civil War, though I might perhaps be overthinking this...
I was going to say it very much looked like that particular poster- a good homage indeed!
(Taken from ‘La Isla Blanca as a National Symbol in the Era of Supremacy’ by Do-As-You-Would-Be-Done-By Fitzsimmonds in ‘The Almanac of Historical Sociology’, Miskatonic University, 2005)
Intrigue within the British Court at the turn of the 19th Century had brought with it a considerable aspect of revanchism against the perceived ‘enemies’ of the Anglican State. Following the conclusion of the War of the English Supremacy between Parliament and the Catholic Monarch, Henry IX - the dominance of Parliament over the religious life of the country was entrenched. Henry’s forced abdication in the aftermath of the Oates Coup, in which he was replaced by his reliably Protestant brother, Charles, resulted in the relative power of the Crown fading yet further behind that of the legislature.
In 1803, the appointment of the thirty-nine year old Duke of Richmond as Lord President of the Council brought the influence of the so-called ‘Covenanterite Party’ to new heights. As the leader of the radical Protestant faction, Richmond’s assumption of the Premiership resulted in tremendous consternation amongst the Catholic-sympathising ‘Court Party’ - with even the dour Charles III expressing concern at the fiery rhetoric coming from within the House of Peers.
Richmond, a veteran colonial administration who had gained the epitaph ‘Loathsome Lennox’ for his quasi-Genocidal policies against the Arcadians following the conquest of New France soon turned his ire against the Isla Blanca - which, as an outpost of both Catholicism and the Spanish Empire, remained a constant reminder of enfeeblement and humiliation in the eyes of many. Although the Peace of Brussels had guaranteed Spanish control over the territory in perpetuity (a concession that had resulted in Castlereagh's disgrace and an attempted lynching) - Richmond considered the issue to be unsettled, and arranged for a blockade of trade on the Solent within days of coming to power. In April, he ordered a review of the Royal Navy and - in the perhaps the most typically English method of passive-aggressiveness - resurrected the moribund position of “Lord Warden of the Cinque Ports” as one responsible for the general fortification of the South Coast.
‘Reclaim White’ (the Spanish corruption of the original name having clearly affected idle Ultras) soon became the campaign of choice for the Young Bucks of the Covenanters in the Commons, and when Richard Wesley - the Lord Lieutenant of Ireland - suggested a limited form of Catholic Emancipation, rioting protestants forced him to barricade his home in Camden from the angry mob. In doing so - he coined two terms; one “The Iron Marquess” from the bars that he was forced to install on his windows to prevent them being used for target practice, and another ‘The Mornington Crescent’ from the scythe-like implement that were used to disperse the crowds when his carriage needed to depart his residence.
In Spain, the sabre-rattling aroused great concern amongst the government of the reform-minded Count of Floridablanca, who was subsequently forced to divert funds aimed for the redevelopment of the Madrid slums to shore up the Biscay Fleet. The continued persecution of English Catholics had also prompted an exodus to Spain proper, with the overwhelming majority choosing to settle in the city of Santander. Although initially treated with scepticism by conservative elements within the Cortes, the diligence and level-headedness of the ‘Inglés’ served to bring about a stabilising effect in Anglo-Spanish relations, at a stroke, the British lost a potentially troublesome host of potential agitators, whilst Spain received a much-needed boost to her embryonic industrialisation.
The consolidation of the ‘Vectis Mythos’, wherein the island’s heritage as being the last place in England to convert to Christianity, was leapt upon by both actors in the drama. For the English, it was a natural progression of the Heretical Catholicism which had become so entrenched within the island proper, whilst, to the more fire-and-brimstone figures within the Spanish Court, it was a sign of the continued heresy of the English, which had been rightly and justifiably saved by the crusading presence of the Armada. Such figures largely remained outside of the Cortes, although riots against English-owned merchants and businesses were not uncommon during the heated period following the War of the Courland Succession.
Not all Englishmen took the issue of the ‘Spanish Island’ with the same vitriol as their compatriots. 1803 also saw the debut of ‘Farewell To All This’ by the noted playwright, Thomas Morton. In the penultimate scene, a thinly veiled version of Richmond is joined by equally transparent versions of the Prince of Wales, the Duke of Connaught and Lord Jenkinson on Spithead, all of whom then proceed to break wind in the direction of La Isla Blanca. A New Leveller force then arrives, prompting the four men to dive into the ocean below. Despite a lack of subtlety, it nevertheless enjoyed tremendous success amongst the Episcopolite-leaning audiences that flocked to see it, until it became a victim of the censors during the Augustine Reaction that emerged the following year.
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Dr. Strangelove
Banned
It may be ASB, but it isn't the first timeline on this subject I've seen here. (and then again, this is TLIAD, where plausibility always winds down and relaxes.)
I take it you've stopped by Coruña or Vigo while going by ship? I went to Vigo last saturday and Queen Elizabeth was at the port (the cruise ship, not the Queen).
I second Julius' proposal of the british capturing Ibiza, Menorca or Benidorm; or maybe going for some island in the galician coast that they will then fill with the descendants of exiled Wightians; Ons, Arousa or the Cíes for example; or the O Grove peninsula, which wasn't united to the mainland until the 18th century (the brits could continue with the theme of etymological confusion by renaming it as The Grove)
Thinking about the island being resettled by galicians, I can't help but think of the unholy mixture of old galician-english-spanish creole that would end appearing in the island. Maybe galician nationalists of the 19th century would look at Isla Blanca and claim an english heritage for Galicia rather than celtic (after all there are plenty of similarities in traditional foods, dances, etc.)
Galician names for the island could be:
Ilha Branca for the island (although I like my old proposal of naming it Illa de Vaite, adapting the original name to galician phonology and giving it an added meaning)
Portonovo for Newport.
Covas for Cowes
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Golly - I had no idea that someone had already done this, I feel a bit daft for doing it now...
I've usually gone to Santander and then popped over to Galicia before heading down on the train to Madrid (there's a mooted ferry connection to Vigo from the South Coast, but nothing confirmed yet) - I really like it there, and it is one of the places that makes you realise how varied Spain's environment is.
I also want to do the Pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela at some point, so hopefully I'll be able to see even more of the land.
Many thanks for this - I actually did the little map in the poster before I hit upon the concept of having the island settled by Galicians, so I realise that the translations are not really what they should be. I think that I may do a proper poster afterwards with a more 'authentic' translation later on - do you mind if I perhaps PM you for some ideas?
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Dr. Strangelove
Banned
Ah, I see now.
Next time you pass through Santiago make sure to give me a heads up!
Your translations are actually spot on: unless 19th century Spain attitude towards regional languages has been butterflied away, galician names will only be used by the lower classes who still speak galician, while all maps and official uses will use a spanish name.
Btw, I don't know if you knew this, but the spaniards just rechristening the island as something that vaguely sounds like the original name but has a completely different meaning is something that was done very often in non-castilian Spain, often with hilarious/cringy results. In Galicia, for example, O Niñodaguia (The Eagle's Nest) was renamed to El Niño de la Guia (The Guiding Boy).
Certainly will!
Champion - many thanks for this, I may still incorporate a 'local' guise if I do a concluding map or something.
Very interesting about the inaccurate/misplaced translation as well - I've always wondered if places like 'Dublin' or 'Cork' mean something absurd in Irish.
Anyway - this is about a half of the way through - I'd like a couple more comments, ideally, before we move to part five.
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I really do like how Cowes seems to have been adopted by the Spanish (or Blancans/Blancos/whatever, perhaps) as a yachting destination. The Iron Marquess with his Mornington Crescent made me laugh. I love how there are things both totally recognisable and utterly different. It seems to fit well with the TLIAD format.
Keep it coming. And good luck with completing this within 24 hours.
Keep it coming. And good luck with completing this within 24 hours.