TL: Alan Keyes' End of History

Reader mode
Alan Keyes vs. The Simpsons
  • Index
    • Oppo

    Oppo

    April 11, 2000

    Entertainment Weekly

    Keyes In a Rage Over Latest Simpsons Episode

    Alan Keyes has angrily denounced the recent episode of The Simpsons for what he called a "slanderous depiction of (his) character".

    In the Season Seven episode, Mayor Simpson, depicts Homer Simpson, the pudgy patriarch of the Simpsons family, being recruited by the United Future Party to run for mayor of Springfield, seeking what they call the "dumb slob vote."

    Much of the humor comes from Homer's antics being seen as "refreshing acts of candor" (to quote Kent Brockman) by the average denizens of Springfield, who eagerly rally around Homer, and drive to push the corrupt Mayor Quimby out. Eventually, Lisa convinces Homer to use his power to talk about real issues-only to lose badly after a video of him is leaked stealing from a church collection plate, as Quimby has allied with Springfield Republicans to defeat Homer.

    One joke that has earned the ire of the nation's Chief Executive involves a fictionalized Keyes startled by the sound of a phone call, and is answered by Vice President Baker.

    "What the devil," shouts Keyes.

    "No sir, the devil's- your attorney- is on line 2," says the fictional Vice President Baker, "the man calling is Mr. Burns."

    "Put him on," Keyes says with an annoyed sigh.

    Keyes was enraged over the implication that he was an associate of Satan.

    "To equate my work with the devil attacks the work of all good Christians," said Keyes on national TV. "This is why we must fight for proper content in our television, not the trash that Groening puts out as entertainment."

    Matt Groening, the creator of the Simpsons as thanked Keyes.

    "I could not get a better endorsement for my show the words of praise from our Commander-In-Chief," replied Groening in an interview.
     
  • Index
    • Gonzo

    Gonzo

    Isn't Quimby meant to be a parody of big city Democrats, and also a bit of an exaggerated Ted Kennedy impersonation as well?
     
    Roberto El Rey

    Roberto El Rey

    Oppo said:
    "...we must fight for proper content in our television, not the trash that Groening puts out as entertainment."
    Click to expand...

    Oh no....

    Careful about letting @Bookmark1995 write too much for your project. I’m not sure I trust him to write a right-wing evangelical president without horrendously screwing America to hell and gone! (Unless that’s what you’re going for...)
     

    Bookmark1995

    Banned
    Roberto El Rey said:
    Oh no....

    Careful about letting @Bookmark1995 write too much for your project. I’m not sure I trust him to write a right-wing evangelical president without horrendously screwing America to hell and gone! (Unless that’s what you’re going for...)
    Click to expand...

    No, no, no.

    I would not support Keyes, but I do not believe him to be willing- or capable-of destroying America.

    I do , however, see him as pretty thin-skinned. OTL, George HW Bush, a moderate Republican, claimed "we need families a lot more like the Waltons and a lot less like the Simpsons." I can see the Simpsons being very, very anti-Keyes, and I can see Keyes, culture warrior, being a logical opponent of the show, hence my contribution.

    Gonzo said:
    Isn't Quimby meant to be a parody of big city Democrats, and also a bit of an exaggerated Ted Kennedy impersonation as well?
    Click to expand...
    CapitalistHippie said:
    I’m guessing this episode is in part criticizing Democrats who enabled Keyes.
    Click to expand...

    The Simpsons, in its heyday at least, was a show that could portray all sides of the aisle as some kind of hilarious awful.

    The show would attack both establishment politicians, like Quimby for being assholes, but also attack populists like Homer Simpson for their own stupidity, as well as the voting public that would rally around someone like Homer.

    Quimby willing to work with Republicans is sending the message that "both parties aren't that different and will work to defend their priveleges"
     

    Bookmark1995

    Banned
    Oppo said:
    Exit polls showed that in 1994 and 1996 a larger than expected group of first-time voters went for the Republicans given that the Korean conflict showed a strong America and guaranteed the peace for the future. However, those born a few years before and after have a different and are more favorable to the UFP or the Democrats.
    Click to expand...

    Winning a war could very well convince people that Keyes is all right.

    But, another rule is a party that stays in power for too long will eventually tire on the voting public.
     
    Anarcho-Occultist

    Anarcho-Occultist

    markus meecham said:
    Say what you want about old groening but he doesn't seem the type that only criticizes a single party.
    Click to expand...

    Classic Simpsons often did criticize both parties (though always from the left). The drift towards only going after the Republicans/the right in more recent years is one source of the criticism that modern Simpsons has lost its touch.
     
    markus meecham

    markus meecham

    Banned
    CapitalistHippie said:
    Classic Simpsons often did criticize both parties (though always from the left). The drift towards only going after the Republicans/the right in more recent years is one source of the criticism that modern Simpsons has lost its touch.
    Click to expand...
    This is why i said old groening
    The show is slowly going down the garfield path.
     
    Update 13
  • Index
    • Oppo

    Oppo

    “We’ve got New Hampshire, and we’ve got the presidency. Our prospects just shot up big time after the polls closed.”
    -Doug Wead to campaign staffer, 2/1/00

    “The momentum for Governor Bullock keeps on going as he takes the Granite State. This is somewhere Al Gore really wanted to win; we’ll see many disappointed faces in Nashville.”
    -Brian Williams

    “Thank you South Carolina! We’ve taken the state in a landslide! I hope that America sees this and knows that we can do it, no matter what all the pundits and governors say!”
    -Reverend Jesse Jackson, 2/19/00

    “South Carolina helped bring my father to victory. I owe a large debt to the state.”
    -Governor Jeb Bush

    “Is there a feud going on between Doug Wead and the Bush family? Reports indicate that Senator Wead was secretly recording Jeb without his knowledge. What’s more, Wead was initially backing Bush for the presidency, and the Bushes are livid and feel betrayed.”
    -Geraldo Rivera

    “THE COMEBACK KIDS: KEMP & MCCURDY WIN IN NEVADA”
    -ABC News

    “We were worried after Super Tuesday. We saw Doug Wead taking the momentum away from Bush and Kemp, and meanwhile, we were stuck in our own rut. Jackson crushed us in many of the primaries, while McCurdy kept biting us where we thought we could win. I honestly thought we’d be out of the race in a few months.”
    -Paul Hobby, Bullock 2000 campaign official

    “KING PU-TSUNG ELECTED PRESIDENT: KMT RULE CONTINUES”
    -Taiwan News, 3/18/00

    “I know that the media has been denying this ever since 1984, but Jesse Jackson has a solid chance of becoming president of this nation. You laugh, but it’s true!”
    -Bill Maher, Politically Incorrect

    “I don’t think Doug Wead is going to have my full support if he gets the nomination.”
    -Governor Jeb Bush, leaked audio tape

    “WEAD HAS DELEGATES TO BE PRESUMPTIVE NOMINEE”
    -The New York Times, 6/3/00

    “Will Rogers once said that, “I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.” This quote seems to hold up with Jesse Stassen being slated to win the nomination and the son of a president who died in office losing to a scruffy man who makes some good speeches. Ignore all of that, though. There is a much more interesting battle to be fought, where a narcissistic Texan businessman, a once respected statesman turned wrestling puppet, and a religious cult leader face off. Your tax dollars, 13 million of them, are going to be used to fund one of these men to greatness. I would like you all to enter the United Future experience with me.

    VOTING DAY

    6:07 AM: I’m woken up; but not to my alarm (although the UFP probably does have people who set their alarms to the minute). I hear a verbal fight between a pro-Perot and pro-Ventura delegate in the opposite hotel room.

    7:00 AM: Ventura/Weicker supporters are blocking traffic to try and stop Perot delegates (who were the democratic victors) from showing up.

    8:00 AM: John Hagelin’s supporters are attempting to teach me TM. All I can say is that this reporter had to take an Advil afterwards.

    9:00 AM: Ventura supporters are yelling that the Minnesota Governor could beat up Ross Perot. Lowell Weicker attempts to act cool like a nerdy high schooler after being given a compliment by a hot girl.

    10:00 AM: Ross Perot gives a speech about NAFTA or something. I lost track after a few minutes.

    11:00 AM: Weicker supporters point out how many views the Weicker-Ventura appearance on Arsenio got. I am tempted to point out that Jesse Jackson’s showing got twice the viewership.

    12:00 PM: There is a Weicker delegate that perfectly reflects my very mood at this moment. Brandished with ‘Party of Eisenhower’ and ‘Party of Lincoln’ bandannas, he’s already drinking at this hour. Honestly, I think this guy doesn’t even know who Jesse Ventura is.

    1:00 PM: Perot has been attacked for allying with political radicals. Meanwhile, the entire UFP convention are either radicals, lost moderates, or Perot Systems employees.

    2:00 PM: A delegate has showed me a series of polls that show Perot leading in potential general election mashups. I would like to point out to the readers that these polls were conducted on the internet.

    3:00 PM: A Hagelin delegate has detonated a stink bomb and the delegates are clearing the area.

    4:00 PM: UFP delegates are saying that they are the Napster of politics. That makes sense, given that they probably won’t exist in a year.

    5:00 PM: Voting was supposed to happen, but it keeps getting held up by heckling Weicker and Hagelin delegates introducing dumb motions to slow down the process.

    6:00 PM: An ally of Ventura has asked to rename the party to ‘Ross Perot sucks.’ Eventually, even Ventura’s strongest cranks have had enough, and Perot has won the nomination.

    7:00 PM: Ross Perot makes his speech. No one is watching. It is 7:00, and that is past the amount of time most C-SPAN viewers can stay awake.

    8:00 PM: John Hagelin says that he will continue to run as the Natural Law candidate. His supporters walk out. Jesse Ventura says that he will support Jello Biafra. His supporters walk out. Lowell Weicker says that he will support the Republican ticket. That one drunk guy from earlier walks out.

    9:00 PM: My rental car has been vandalized by a young hooligan. I let the guy go given how difficult it must be to be the only young person at the UFP convention”
    -Steve Carell reporting on the UFP for The Daily Show with Roxanne Roberts, 6/10/00

    “Through a shock victory in California, Bullock had the most delegates. We knew that we were at a disadvantage. We couldn’t get both McCurdy and Gore on our side. I then got a message from a Bullock campaign official named Castro. Bullock wanted Jackson and him to meet up. The ticket would be Bullock/Jackson.”
    -Senator Cleo Fields, 2018 interview

    “We’ve got the dream team right here!”
    -Sen. Ted Kennedy
     
    Last edited:
  • Index

    • Bookmark1995

    Banned
    Roberto El Rey said:
    I suppose the UFP falls to pieces after this. Shame that TTL’s main viable third party was an ephemeral event.
    Click to expand...

    Don't hold your breath.

    It is possible that Perot could still win a good amount of popular votes, and if he is lucky, some electoral votes. And if retires after 2000, there is a chance for the remaining UFP politicians to rebuild their party.

    It is also possible that a future administration might take up some of Perot's rhetoric (fair trade, budget deficits, etc.). So like Goldwater, he could be a man who managed to influence a new generation of politicians, despite not getting into office.
     
    Reader mode
    You must log in or register to reply here.
    Top
    Top