The Life of Phineas Barnum
If there was anyone who was the Personification of the frontier, it was Phineas Barnum. The frontier forged his life’s ambitions and in turn he brought the splendor of the frontier to the masses. To this very day, the results of Barnum’s labor can still be felt across the country and the world.
Phineas Philo Barnum was born on Independence Day 1810 in Bethel, Connecticut.[1] His father, Philo, was a modest innkeeper at Phineas’ birth. Unfortunately for the Barnum family, this steady source of income went up in flames with the War of 1812. On their way to New York, Drummond’s forces passed through Bethel and raided the down, destroying Philo's inn. Four-year-old Phineas and his family fled in horror as their old lives were destroyed. The Barnum family never returned to New England, instead settling in Pittsburgh. Philo found work as a laborer in a glass factory, where he worked until his death in 1823. During their time in Pittsburgh, young Phineas would be found at the docks. When not in school, he’d make money shining the shoes of riverboat sailors coming back from their trips West. According to Barnum, their stories of sailing up and down the Mississippi and Ohio Rivers captivated him more so than his schoolwork. At night the young Barnum often dreamed of sailing the Mississippi and exploring unknown lands.
A steamboat on the Mississippi
After his father’s death, Barnum’s mother was quick to remarry. Her new husband was incredibly abusive and dismissive of the teenage Barnum. He’d constantly make his stepson do the chores while he lazed around the house, dismiss Barnum’s dreams as foolish childhood fantasies, and throw him out into the streets whenever he dared to fight back. After a year of this torture, Barnum had enough of his stepfather’s torment and ran away from home.
He went to the docks of Pittsburgh and found work on the steamboat Robert Fulton,[2] which regularly sailed up and down the Mississippi River. It was his time on the
Robert Fulton when Barnum developed and honed his cartography and navigation skills. During his free time on board, Barnum would sketch his own maps of the Mississippi River, which were as accurate as the maps of more well-trained cartographers. When the ship reached New Orleans, Barnum at first never left the docks. After a year of not leaving the docks, a fellow crew member convinced Barnum to explore the bustling port with him. This would prove to be disastrous for the young teen. Often the members of the crew would go to bars and play poker with the wealthy of New Orleans. Barnum claimed he was pressured into drinking and smoking, which quickly developed into an addiction. His addiction for the various liquors, especially expensive French wine, lead Barnum to the various poker tables of New Orleans. The French upper class constantly scammed American traders like Barnum by cheating at every possible opportunity. Barnum complained on multiple occasions, but his complaints went unanswered. These multiple attempts made Barnum jaded, and when combined with the influence of too much alcohol, set him on a dark, destructive path path. Barnum had had enough of the scamming, so one day in 1827, Barnum scammed them back. He found several small chunks of glass and polished them to look like diamonds. He sold them to several people whom had scammed him in the past, swindling them out of a large sum of money. He pulled the same scam a few weeks later, same result. Barnum felt powerful over the upper class of New Orleans, which emboldened him to scam them to further fuel his alcoholism. It all went downhill in 1829 when a poker game went sour and Barnum was chased out of New Orleans. His crew mates had no idea what he was doing. When they found out, Barnum was swiftly fired and booted off in the bustling town of Defiance, Iowai.[3]
Alone and in a hopeless situation, Barnum turned to scamming once again. He spent the next two years wandering around Iowai and western Virginia. He’d go from town to town, scamming people out of their money under various names such as Andy Johnson, Tom Wayne, and Peter Parker. Despite scamming countless people, Barnum was never caught, but then he went too far and scammed the Second Consul of Iowai. The Second Consul immediately issued a warrant for his arrest and Barnum became a fugitive. State police chased Barnum across the state, eventually cornering him in Haddonfield. When all seemed lost for Barnum, he scammed one more person out of their money, buying himself a one-way ticket on a wagon train headed to Praise, Dakota.
In Praise, Barnum came face to face with famed explorer Merriweather Lewis. Through this meeting, Lewis started Barnum on the path to redemption. In the dead of winter, 1832, Barnum converted to AFC faith and gave up drinking for good. Barnum found work as part of the local militia. During the Sioux-Praise War Barnum fought valiantly, successfully stopping a raid on the settlement and killed seven Sioux warriors. In 1834, he married Jamie Curtis, with whom he’d have six children.
American settlers had slowly trickled their way into Louisiana ever since the end of the War of 1812. By 1835 explorers had been up to the modern state of Redemption and as far south as modern Lewisland, but no explorer had successfully been to the land of Oregon. Lewis had wanted to explore Oregon himself for years, but familial and mayoral obligations kept him in Praise. Despite the setback, though, Lewis still wanted to be the first American to reach Oregon and planned on mounting an expedition when his youngest son turned 16, which was in 1836. To discourage others from making the trek, Lewis held the threat of banishment over everyone’s heads. The threat of banishment, which was a guaranteed death sentence in those days, deterred most would-be explorers. Barnum, though, was not most people. During his time in the militia, he met several others whom wanted to explore out West but were afraid of banishment. Barnum convinced 15 of them to join in a secret trek West. They discretely gathered supplies and were all set to depart in the evening of May 14th, 1835, but as they were leaving Praise, they were stopped by none other than Meriweather Lewis himself. Lewis threatened banishment as usual, but that did not stop the group. They just ignored Lewis and went on their way.
By late November, Barnum’s crew had reached the mouth of the Tagoma River[4] at which point they set up a camp nearby, which was named Camp Reliable. The winter at Camp Reliable was harsh. By February 1836, only eight members of the expedition crew remained. They were saved by an act of ignorance of some Russian fur trappers. In a rush, they had left multiple sacks of potatoes behind. Barnum came up with an ingenious idea to make them more filling. He used the oil from the few salmon they had caught, chopped the potatoes, and fried them in an iron skillet, creating what is now known as phinnies.[5] According to the expedition crew, Barnum’s quick thinking and innovation staved off starvation that Winter.
Once winter turned to spring Barnum and his crew set out to explore the rest of the Pacific coast, making it as far South as northern California. He then went North with the intent of also exploring southern Alyeska. They only made it about 100 miles North of the Tagoma River before the Russians forced them to back to Camp Reliable. Following what later came to be known as the “Alyeska Incident”, the crew went South, reaching the Yuta Sea.[6] They originally planned to return to Camp Reliable for a second Winter, but a freak storm in late October forced them to set up a makeshift camp at modern Shoshoni Falls, Oregon.[7]
When Winter turned to Spring, Barnum lead them back to Praise.
The Unauthorized Expedition, Herman Vanderslik, 1899
Barnum returned to Praise on May 1st, 1837. Lewis initially stood at the gates to the fortified settlement, but Barnum was let back in when, as one witness put it, “threw map after map at [Lewis’] feet. He stood there in awe as Barnum entered the village triumphantly.” Along with the maps of the Oregon territory, Barnum brought back native artifacts from the various tribes he met, sketchbooks of flora and fauna, redwood logs from California, and mineral, plant, and seed specimens. However, these all paled in comparison to Barnum’s biggest prize: the famed Shoshoni women, Sacagawea. Barnum claims he found her in the burning wreckage of her village and saved her life. She was the only one left, the rest of her village, including her husband and children, were dead. She could only speak French but quickly learned to speak decent (albeit broken) English. Lewis quickly changed his tune on Barnum, becoming close a close friend of Barnum’s. Lewis suggested they go to Philadelphia to meet directly with the Chief Consuls. Barnum wholeheartedly agreed. They were to set out to Philadelphia that summer, but Barnum’s wife fell pregnant with their second child.
Sacagawea. She'd spend the rest of her life working as a nanny for Barnum's children and later traveled with him until her death in 1879.
In late February 1838, Barnum, Sacagawea, and Lewis set off for the capital. Managing to avoid capture in Iowai (since Barnum was still wanted by the state of Iowai at this point), they made it to Philadelphia on April 3rd. Lewis expected to be granted audience with the Chief Consuls, but they ignored him, officially because of “more important matters”, but most likely it was out of spite for not getting all of Louisiana under Yankee control. Lewis wanted to go home, but Barnum wanted the people to see the work he had done for the country. Using the last of the money they had, Barnum and Lewis set up a travelling display of the former’s “Unauthorized Expedition” to Oregon. Over the course of a week, it exploded in popularity. When they moved to Penn Square, it was filled to the brim with people there to see the exhibit. On July 8th, Chief Consuls Aaron Peyton and Zachary Gibbs finally met with Barnum and Lewis, congratulated the former, bought copies of Barnum’s maps for the government, and issued a Consular Pardon for Barnum’s past crimes in Iowai.
By the end of summer, the exhibit had garnered so much attention that every major newspaper in the nation spoke of Barnum and his Unauthorized Expedition, calling him a trailblazer, great explorer, and “America’s Marco Polo” amongst other names. On September 1st, Barnum and Lewis left Philadelphia, asking people to head to Praise to go out west themselves. On the way back to Praise, the duo took their exhibit to New York City, Pittsburgh, Sandusky, Crawford City, Centralia,
[8] Shicagwa, Milwaukie, and finally Fort Pike.[9] At each stop, people lined up to see the treasures of the Unauthorized Expedition and some even joined Barnum directly to go out West. By the time the group reached the Michigania-Dakota border, the group of three had swelled to 30. When they reached Praise on December 1st, there were 321 people in total waiting for Barnum to lead them West. During the winter of 1839, a tent city appeared outside of Praise to house these future pioneers.
Barnum lead the 321 settlers out of Praise on April 6th, 1839. They set out on the same path Barnum had blazed three years earlier, the famous Oregon Trail. At various points, some split off from the main group to establish their own settlements like Aurora, the future capital of Redemption. When they reached Camp Barnum on September 11th, 140 people remained. They expanded Camp Reliable, which was renamed Barnumsburg by popular vote. Over the years the city’s population ballooned, reaching 110,000 in 1905.
Barnum served as the mayor of Barnumsburg until 1852 when he suddenly resigned. Many thought he would just retire to his orchard outside of the city, but that was far from the truth. He wanted to do something different. Something big. Over the next three years, he used his small fortune to charter a ship and assemble a crew of the finest sailors and navigators. It was to be an expedition like no other, it would be the Greatest Expedition on Earth! After three years of meticulous planning and money received from investors, Barnum’s ship, the OKCV Pacifica,[10] set sail from Barnumsburg on July 27th, 1855.
While it was billed as the “Greatest Expedition on Earth”, it was nothing but a glorified trading route. Old Kinderhook rented the ship to Barnum on the condition he deliver goods to Auckland and Sydney, both in Australia, and that he deliver “something exotic” to the Van Buren family. Over the course of the four-year-long journey, Barnum visited the Galapagos Islands, Peru, Australia, the Dutch East Indies, Ceylon, South Africa, Brazil, and Argentina’s Tierra Del Fuego. He charted maps and collected fossils, rocks, exotic clothes, and plant specimens. However, these pale in comparison to his greatest discovery: the last dodos. While anchored on a small island off French Mauritius, Barnum noticed a strange bird on the shores. When he investigated, he found in total ten dodos and 3 nests full of eggs.[11] Barnum took six of them, three males and females, and all the eggs. Unfortunately, two dodos perished on the voyage to Barnumsburg. The pair’s remains were stuffed.
A map showing the route of the "Greatest Expedition on Earth"
Barnum stepped ashore in Barnumsburg on August 8th, 1859, where he was given a hero’s welcome. Sending the stuffed dodo to the Van Buren family, Barnum returned home to spend time with his family and wait out the war, at which point he would go East and show off the spoils of the Greatest Expedition on Earth. But it would not be. Tragedy struck Barnum at this time when his oldest son, Phineas Curtis “P.C.”, was killed in action during the Battle of New Orleans. Stricken by grief, Barnum cancelled his trek East and became a recluse. During his period of isolation, the orchard fell into disrepair. People would often turn up wanting to see the famous “last dodos”, but Barnum always shooed them away. One day in 1861, that changed. No one knows why he did it, but everyone knows the outcome: people quickly flooded Barnum Orchard to see the dodos, coming from as far away as California and Alyeska. The completion of the Transcontinental Railroad in 1863 only added to the tsunami of gawking tourists, now trickling in from all over the Union. Barnum made a small fortune and realized quickly he could make a lot more if he had more to offer. He opened his collection of loot from the Greatest Expedition to the public for viewing. More people showed, but they wanted more, so Barnum bought two bison. The people kept coming and wanted to see more. The desire to travel East roared to life like a dormant furnace being lit for the first time in years. Barnum took out a loan, bought a train, and took his collection East.
The crowds grew even more, but they did not last. Attendance dropped like a rock and Barnum nearly went bankrupt. Down to his last thousand dollars, Barnum stopped his train outside of his old stomping grounds – Pittsburgh. Walking around the city, he kept hearing people wishing to see the wonders Wild West in person. A stroke of inspiration hit Barnum and he and his employees went to work. An old circus tent was bought and a site secured. On March 2nd, 1866 the Wonderful World Circus debuted. It had his collection and exotic animals from before, but those were just the side attraction. The main event was the Wild West Stampede, full of trick shooting, riding, and lassos. While it was rudimentary and highly chaotic, the people loved the performance. The next four shows were entirely sold out. While circuses had been around for decades, none were as hyped as Barnum’s was. Making use of the railroad, Barnum’s show crisscrossed the East for the rest of spring and summer, with a final show being held outside of Barnumsburg in late September.
1867 through 1871 saw the show reformatted into a more traditional circus. The Wild West Stampede, while a decent money maker, was not as popular as the traditional acts found in traditional circuses. It also didn’t help that the “performers”, whom were originally hired to put up and take down the exhibits, had mostly quit for other jobs. Barnum believed that he could make even more money with a traditional circus rather than his Wild West Stampede. Cowboys shooting guns became acrobats, clowns, and jugglers while horses and bison gave way to elephants and lions forced to do tricks by whip-happy tamers. It was at first more popular than the Western show, but other like-minded individuals quickly copied the idea of circus trains, like-minded individuals whom had more to offer than Barnum ever could. As more competitors came up, Barnum’s profits and attendance numbers dropped like a rock. Seeing the writing on the wall, Barnum sold the Wonderful World Circus to Adam Forepaugh[12] in late 1871. Barnum, however, wasn’t finished. He had plans for an entirely new show. One common complaint Barnum heard throughout the years was the lack of the Wild West Stampede. Fans of the original show constantly begged for its return, much to the chagrin of the new performers. After the sale of his circus, Barnum decided to revisit the concept of a wild west show. Focusing solely on the wild west, Barnum set out to find performers. He spent most 1872 scouring the western states for talent.
Bison Bill Carver (Left) and Marshal Canary (Right)
Barnum’s Wild West Spectacular premiered on March 7th, 1873. The show had it all; trick riding, sharp shooters like Bison Bill Carver and Marshal Canary,[13] Sacagawea telling tales of the Sioux, reenactments of “Wild West History” like the saving of Sacagawea and the Pony Express, and an authentic recreation of an Indian village, in which members of the Klammath tribe that Barnum hired would go about their daily lives in what was the first human zoo. The people just enjoyed it. Despite an incident in 1875 where a member of Barnum’s sharpshooters known as Wild Bill Hickok killed a teenaged girl named Phoebe Mosely in a shooting contest gone wrong,[14]
Barnum’s Wild West Spectacular experienced a continued growth in popularity. In 1880, the show premiered in Paris, attended by Caesar Napoleon III. After Paris, the show went to Frankfurt, Berlin, St. Petersburg, and Amsterdam. The European tour solidified the mythos of the Wild West across the western world. In 1884, Phineas Barnum finally retired, handing control of the show over to Bison Bill, whom had been increasingly running the day to day operations since 1882. Barnum spent the rest of his days at his orchard in Oregon, perishing in a fire with his son, Governor Lewis Barnum, on June 19th, 1886.
Barnum's Legacy
Barnum’s Wild West Spectacular (renamed to the
Wild West Spectacular in 1884) continued well after Barnum’s death. Under Bison Bill, the show traveled the world, going all the way to South America and even to Holy Nippon. In addition, new shows like the diving horses and mock high noon shootouts joined the lineup of crowd magnets. Despite its high popularity at the turn of the twentieth century, the
Wild West Spectacular could not survive the Great World War. The seizure of rail lines for military purposes and the Beckie Flu cancelled the show for most of the war and the changing post-war world just wasn’t interested in the remnants of a bygone age. Bison Bill took his diving horse act to a pleasure pier New Jersey, where horse diving continued to entertain guests for years to come.
Barnum’s flock of dodos, which had expanded to 25 the time of his death, was divided and donated to several zoos across the country. To this very day, dodos can be found at zoos across the country and abroad.
The Klamath performers experienced a better fate than that of the dodos. Barnum’s own exhibit of “savage peoples” naturally inspired copycats both in and out of the Republican Union. One of these copycats was another Klamath exhibition right outside of Barnumsburg. After the
Wild West Spectacular was closed due to the war, they all left and joined the exhibition. Reunited, the remnants of the Klamath tribe entertained guests for years to come.
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[1] Butterflies Galore. ITTL, Barnum’s middle name is his dad’s first name, and he was born on July 4th, one day earlier than OTL.
[2] Named after Robert Fulton, whom in OTL and TTL invented the steamboat. Unable to leave America like he did in OTL, he focuses on building a shipping company with steamboats. His company was later bought out by Old Kinderhook in 1826 shortly after his death.
[3] OTL Cairo, Illinois
[4] OTL Columbia River. ITTL named after the Tagoma Mountains (OTL Cascade Mountains).
[5] French Fries
[6] Great Salt Lake.
[7] OTL Idaho Falls, ID
[8] Capital of Iowai. Located at OTL’s Terre Haute, IN.
[9] OTL St. Paul, MN. Like OTL, a fort was built here named after Zebulon Pike. Unlike OTL, the name sticks.
[10] Old Kinderhook Commercial Vessel
[11] Another small divergence from OTL
[12] This is a real person who ran a real circus IOTL
[13] Doc Carver and Calamity Jane, respectively
[14] Annie Oakley