Historically plausible? yay or nay

  • Yay

    Votes: 2 10.5%
  • Nay

    Votes: 8 42.1%
  • Oy Vey

    Votes: 9 47.4%

  • Total voters
    19
AYear - 63 B.C.

A man is pacing back and forth, thinking, praying, hoping. He stops, "I know your there Antigonus". There is a pause, then a sandy haired adolescent appears from the hallway, embarrassed, "I'm sorry father, but I've heard things". The man, Aristoblus II of the Maccabees lineage, heir of Judah, strokes his beard and asks, "What things have you heard?." Antigonus suddenly looks worried, "I've heard that Uncle Hyrcanus has claimed your throne, and has the backing of Rome. They say that Roman legions are in Judah, slaughtering Jews and defiling temples. They say it is only a matter of time before you are captured and executed along with all those who support you." Aristoblus pauses but doesn't stop stroking his beard. "My son, these terrible things you have heard, are true." Panic floods into Antigonus's eyes, but before he can speak a word Aristoblus adds "Except, that I will be captured." Antigonus looks puzzled and waits for elaboration. Before he can get an answer a servant appears, "Master, delegates from all twelve tribes have arrived and are waiting for you", Aristoblus nods and the servant disappears. Aristoblus looks at his son and says, "Remember my son, his will end better than it began." Antigonus begins to question his father only to be silenced with the wave of a hand. Aristoblus strides down the hallway and before opening the door to those waiting on the other side, he whispers to himself, "it will end better than it began."

A few weeks later Hyrcanus and the roman generals awoke to alarming reports that all twelve tribes had declared Hyrcanus illegitimate and anywhere that Roman armies weren't immediately occupying was subject to anarchy and open rebellion. While Roman armies were quick to put down these rebellions more seemed to arrive in their place. It didn't take long for the occupiers to figure out how the Jews managed to fight in so many places, and it was that they weren't really Jews at all. Rome's rival, the Sassanid Empire, had smuggled soldiers dressed as Jewish revolutionaries across the border. All the while Aristoblus used the disorder as a cloak to gather his forces on the shore's of the Mediterranean. Aristoblus made a deal with the Sassanids so that in exchange for Sassanid interference in Judah, Aristoblus would gather an army and sack Rome, leaving the empire subject to Sassanid assault. In fact, however, Aristoblus never planned to set a foot in the city of Rome. Truth be told, the last place Aristoblus wanted to be was Rome.

A small beetle-like man enters and interrupts the council mid-discussion. He lays a rolled up piece of parchment on a table, "I have obtained a map of Europe!" He pauses to receive praise, He receives none,"Its Roman so I have very little doubt in it's accuracy." The man states, although with a clear loss of enthusiasm. He unrolls the document revealing the continent. A man from he tribe of Manasseh looks at the map, then to his king and inquires, "My king, you have perplexed me. Your brother usurps your throne, you do nothing. Romans invade your land, you do nothing. You bring your most trusted to the banks of Judah, to, sit and do nothing. Now this obnoxious man bursts through our doors with a map of Europe talking like he just saved us all. Are you going to tell us your plan, or will you continue to keep us in the dark."

The councilman's words spark an outburst of commotion from the other men in the room, while the beetle-like man quietly leaves the room with none noticing. Aristoblus waits for the council to quieten before speaking. He strokes his beard before speaking, "I believe" he pauses "it is time for you all to know why you are here and not dying alongside your brothers." everyone leans in to hear what is to come. Aristoblus resumes talking, "Judah has fallen to Roman occupation, and will most likely be so for some time. I have a plan to set up a new kingdom somewhere far from Roman oppression." Aristoblus stand to his feet and walks over to the map. He points to an island (Ireland), "the Romans call this island Hibernia, and I believe we will be safe here." Another councilman, this one from Simeon, clears his throat and nervously states, "My King, this place, this Hibernia, It is very far away. We will surely run out of supplies on even the most strenuous diet. not to mention the fact our ships might sink before we even arrive." Many voices murmur in agreement. Aristoblus raises a hand for silence, then points to a spot in Anatolia, "Here we can buy supplies, there are yet locations in Asia Minor where Roman presence is not felt. The we sail to the Maghreb under the guise as traders, remember the Romans have no reason to expect us to leave Judah in such a manner. We shall fix any repairs in either of these places before we sail straight for Hibernia." A councilman lets out an exasperated, "Oy Vey."
 
What the hell did I just read? All seemed so confusing.. why are the tribes still there? They were exiled by the Assurians hundreds of years before the Maccabies, and desapired from the pages of history. A king of Judea will never exile his pepole wilingly to some far away land, away from Jerusalem and the Temple.
Also "Oy vey" is in Yidish, not hebrew/aramic/greek which were spoken by the jews back then. Yidish was created probably a 1000 years later...
 
Very entertaining, but not plausible for the reasons Ahab mentioned (unless you plan on revealing a POD centuries earlier that allows the tribes to maintain their identity).

I'd say it's worth doing unless you're a stickler for realism.
 
Despite what @Ahab says, I don't think it pulls me out of the story to hear people's tribal identities named. It happens a couple times in the New Testament, written a few centuries after your PoD. They didn't have any corporate identity anymore after the Assyrian exile, but some individuals still remembered their heritage (including some from the Northern tribes who'd avoided exile, see e.g. Anna in Luke 2:36.)

My real problem is when you name Aristoblus "heir of Judah" and "king." He wasn't. He was High Priest, a descendant of Aaron, from the tribe of Levi. The Maccabees never took the title of king because of their lineage and the promises made in Scripture that the throne would stay in the line of David, but rather ruled as "leader and high priest."
 

ASUKIRIK

Banned
maybe it was written as in universe story (in the future) to explain all anachronism in universe. Maybe in their version of 2018AD, this is the "official" history of whatever Jewish Kingdom it would be, including the use of oy vey.

Maybe just let the OP to bring his story? That was nice one.
 
Top