Chapter 4
***
461 BCE
***
Nanda had never been as relieved as he melted into the arms of his wife and son. Young Krit had only been one summer and a half when Nanda had gone to war and now the child was almost 7 summers old. Yamuna, his faithful wife and remained almost as a widow for so long.
A night of festivities, and feasting and story sharing continued in the palaces of Kasthamandap that night between the nobles, kings and all of the royalty and nobility of the Mandala.
The Kings laughed and shared masculine jokes whilst the queens chattered with each other giggling away. Nanda smiled as he held a watery smile for all to see. Nanda grimaced as he took a bite out of the cooked chicken as his bones clenched. The Siege of Shravasti had been a deadly one with carnage all around the area.
A pillar had fallen next to Nanda’s war camp and the splinters had wounded Nanda. He had healed mostly, but his bones still hurt from time to time, enough to make Nanda remember all the young and youthful faces of his army, many of whom would never return to their parents.
Nanda clenched through the pain as he watched the people and kings celebrate. Let them celebrate. A 5 summer long war had been won by the Mandala, and winning in a war was a cause to celebrate.
Norgen Sen, the King of Gourkha threw his chalice into the air as his white beard swirled in the air as he shouted “Glory to the Mandala, Glory to High King Nanda!”
“Glory to the Mandala! Glory to High King Nanda!” The other kings cheered as juices, water and sweetened milk flowed freely in the feast. Nanda smiled as he let the kings have their fun.
It would be at around the middle of the night when the grand feast ended and the kings and queens slinked off to their guest chambers.
Nanda stood up and decided it was a good night to reflect on the war. He went up to the balcony and looked at the full moon. Purnima. The Great night of the full moon, when the Chandra Ma (Mother Moon) reigned supreme.
Nanda looked on quietly at the slumbering city, his city as he felt a tug on his robes. Nanda blinked down to see his son, Krit looking at him. Nanda smiled as he knelt down.
“Krit, why are you not in bed?”
“I was excited to see you father.” Krit replied as he pinched his robes in nervousness.
Ah….that was to be expected after all, the boy had very little memory of Nanda before Nanda had gone to war. “Where is your mother?”
“she fell asleep.” Krit, the little rascal chuckled.
Nanda chuckled alongside him before pulling him close.
“I am sorry.” Nanda murmured.
“Why father?”
“I am sorry I was not there for you or your mother.” Nanda specified as he stroked the curly hair of his son.
Krit shifted slightly. “Mother….told me a lot about you. Said you were the best man in the entire world, fighting for our future.”
“Your mother is the kindest woman in the world. You would be extremely lucky to marry a woman like her in the future.” Nanda laughed. Krit’s face scrounged up at the word marriage and Nanda laughed even more. “Ah, I forgot, you are in the ‘I hate girls’ phase, no matter, no matter, you will see maybe when you are twice your age in the future.”
“Never!” Krit grumbled.
Nanda laughed before quieting down. His bones were hurting again.
“Father?” Krit tugged his robes with a questioning tone.
Nanda shook his head. “No, it’s fine son.”
“Tell me father. I want to know.”
“Know…..want….reality, son……” Nanda murmured. “Son, remember, Knowledge and awareness are vague in this world of ours, and a more apt word would be illusions to define them.”
“Illusions?” Krit asked with wonder. “I don’t understand.”
Nanda’s eyes took a haunted look as he remembered the screams of the women, the clenching of a sword passing through the gut of a man, the head of a soldier being decapitated, entire buildings crashing down with fire alight in them.
Nanda shook his head as he looked at his son. “Tell me son, how is your training going on?”
Krit pouted. “I am….well frankly father, aside from maths and languages I am horrible is everything else. My level with the sword and spear is horrible and my hand to hand fighting is absolutely weak!”
Krit let out a small sobbing snarl as he said “I’m pathetic father, I am sorry if I disappointed you.”
Nanda smiled sardonically as his son apologized. “There, there, my son, self-depreciation is no way forward. Come sit down on my lap.”
Krit wiped some of the tears building up in his eyes and sat down on Nanda’s lap as both of them looked at the slumbering city below them.
“There are many things I must teach you it seems, things that you should pass on to your children as well.” Nanda murmured.
“what are they father?” Krit asked curiously.
“Tell me, why do you think you are bad at your physical and weapons training?”
“Because…Because….” Krit stuttered. “Father….I think I am a loser.”
Nanda chuckled slightly. “Let none of what the other kings tell you make you filled with illusion. When I was a young child, I as you said ‘sucked’ in tactical warfare as well.”
“But..I heard about the Battle of Sohgaura. You outthought the enemy there!” Krit replied with surprise evident in his voice.
“Yes, I thought you may raise that point.” Nanda stated. “Let me tell you about the Battle of Rampurwa. There the battle was gruesome. Blood spurted out of men like how water falls from the great waterfalls of the north. And I only won due to sheer numbers. Nothing else nothing more, there was no tactics or strategy involved.”
“What are you trying to say father?”
“The Kosalan armies and generals, they called me the Warrior King of Death.” Nanda continued. “Yet, I did not win with tactics, only sheer numbers in the first engagements of the war. I even lost many of the early engagements. Do you know what I am trying to tell you son?”
“I….don’t understand father.”
“I am trying to tell you three things son, three basic tenets that you should keep on your chest, heart and mind forever, you got me?”
“Yes father, tell me!”
“Even the strongest of enemies have a weakness son, you simply have to search for it. If anyone tells you they do not have a weakness, they are either lying or that person is a god, and it is very likely that it is the former than the latter.” Nanda said gently as Krit nodded with his brows in obvious thought.
“Never depreciate yourself child. Those who cannot forgive themselves, and are able to accept themselves for who they are…..they are truly the strongest people on this planet. Remember, those who cannot acknowledge themselves are doomed to fail.” Nanda stated as his son shifted uncomfortably before nodding slowly.
“And finally, you are one day to succeed me as High King. Tell me son, what do you wish to do once the crown goes to you?”
Krit looked up and said “Do good things for the people as King and become acknowledged by everyone for it!”
“No.” Nanda stated as Krit looked at him confusedly. “Kingship has never been about ‘being acknowledged by everyone as king’ but Kingship has always been ‘the one who has been acknowledged by everyone, is the king’”
Krit’s eyes widened. Nanda smiled. “Do you understand me son?”
“Not all father…..but I think I will in time.” Krit murmured.
Nanda’s eyes crinkled into a smile. He patted the chest of his son where his heart was located. “I have no doubt you will. Keep this tenets firmly in your heart when you become High King. Be acknowledged by the people, accept yourself for who you are.”
“Of course father!”
“No go to sleep. Your maids must beset with worry.” Nanda ordered. Krit blushed in embarrassment and mumbled a ‘yes’ before scurrying away. Nanda smiled as he saw his son go. He turned to the city before his smile melted away and tears gathered in his eyes.
He only saw the blood. The rivers filled with blood, as if the glaciers themselves wept from the high mountains. Blood and gore all over the fields. Heads, body parts, clothes smattered in red all deposited all over the fields. The entire city up in flames. Tears fell freely from Nanda’s eyes. He clenched his face as he murmured “What have I done?”
The faces of the countless soldiers under his command who had died flashed in front of him. The countless civilians trying to survive in their homes, destroyed by him. The cold empty sockets of the King of Kosala as Nanda looked at his body. Tears quickly overcame the middle aged king of the Mandala.
“What have I done? What have I done?!” Nanda grieved.
“The right thing.” Came a soft feminine voice as hands snaked themselves over the back of the king.
Nanda relaxed slightly as he felt the embrace of his wife. “Yamuna……”
“War has changed you.” Yamuna stated with sadness evident in her voice.
“It has changed everybody I should think.” Nanda replied with regret clear in his voice.
“Perhaps. But those who bear the greatest responsibilities and accept them, are the greatest people on this planet.” Yamuna murmured.
“What do I do dear Yamuna? Every single time I see a city, I can only see the burning ruins of Shravasti, the people crying out in pain with death at every corner.” Nanda wept. Yamuna embraced the king and put his head on her shoulder, her silky black hair draping the king.
“It shows you are still human. You fight for your people, yet you grieve for your enemy. You are still human, my beloved.”
Nanda smiled slightly as he wiped the tears out of his eyes.
“Sit with me.” Nanda murmured in a small voice. Yamuna nodded. And the two sat in the balcony until dusk. Forgetting they were High King and High Queen, forgetting all of their responsibilities and forgetting the entire world, they simply sat in comfortable silence, as husband and wife.
***