The Elephant's Dilemma

THE ELEPHANT'S DILEMMA


BACHMANN WINS AMES STRAW POLL
August 13th, 2011

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Ames, Iowa- Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann was declared the winner of the Ames Straw Poll on Saturday, giving a large boost to the Tea Party darling of the GOP. While delivering a victory speech to her supporters, Bachmann said that the victory would help ensure that President Obama will only serve one term, and that the American people will “take their country back”. Coming in second to Bachmann is Texas Congressman Ron Paul, who usually does well in straw polls. In third place is former Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty, who lost by over 2000 votes to both Bachmann and Paul. Governor Pawlenty vowed to continue with his campaign, citing improving poll numbers in Iowa and New Hampshire. Pawlenty remains the frontrunner for the nomination, although former Utah Governor Jon Huntsman’s entrance into the race has seen him lose some of his earlier support in the northeastern states. Bachmann’s win coincides with the entrance of a new contender into the Republican presidential race. Texas Governor Rick Perry, after months of media speculation that he would do so, finally declared his candidacy for his party’s nomination at a rally in South Carolina. In his speech, he promised to help the American people take back the White House and restore honor to the United States.



AMES STRAW POLL 2011

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GALLUP POLLING: 2012 PRESIDENTIAL MATCHUPS
August 15th, 2011

Mitt Romney* v. Barack Obama- 44 – 44%

Mike Huckabee* v. Barack Obama- 46 – 45%

Sarah Palin* v. Barack Obama- 35 – 45%

Tim Pawlenty v. Barack Obama- 39 – 47%

Jon Huntsman v. Barack Obama- 40 – 46%

Newt Gingrich v. Barack Obama- 34 – 52%

Michele Bachmann v. Barack Obama- 36 – 46%

Herman Cain v. Barack Obama- 38 – 45%

Rick Perry v. Barack Obama- 42 – 44%

Rick Santorum v. Barack Obama- 31 – 56%

Donald Trump* v. Barack Obama- 34 – 48%

*Not a declared candidate



PERRY BECOMES OVERNIGHT FRONTRUNNER IN GOP RACE! TEA PARTY ADORES TEXAS GOVERNOR!
August 22nd, 2011

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Davenport, Iowa- What is it about Rick Perry that makes him so appealing? Is it his populist message of smaller government and lower taxes? Is it his folksy charm? Is it his good looks? Or is it just that sweet Texas accent? Whatever it is that makes Rick Perry so great, the Tea Party loves it, and so do the rest of the voters. Since Governor Perry’s entrance into the race on the 13th (which is coincidentally the day that Michele Bachmann won the Ames Straw Poll), we have seen a sort of revolution in the GOP primary. Conservatives that had originally been supporting Tim Pawlenty, combined with the Tea Party crowd that had thrown their support behind various other candidates, have come together and appear to be uniting behind Rick Perry as their party’s nominee. Perry recently dethroned Pawlenty in Iowa, and is making gains in New Hampshire (although he still trails behind Jon Huntsman, who has been steadily rising in the more moderate northeastern state). Along with the groundswell of support from voters, the Perry campaign is reported to have received at least two million dollars in private donations. With a simple speech in South Carolina and a last-minute campaign, Rick Perry may have just snatched up the nomination. When questioned on why they support the Governor, newly-minted Perry supporters cited a relatively uninteresting field of candidates to choose from, and are hoping for a candidate that both holds their ideas and their values, and can energize the party to go out and vote. However, there is one catch to all this. When asked if their support for their candidate was definite, only twenty-two percent of voters say that the candidate they support now is the candidate they will vote for when the primary begins. The voters are still open to changing their minds, and they are going to be keeping a close eye on Governor Perry to see how he performs in the next few weeks. Particular attention will be placed on the next Republican presidential debate, which will be held on September 7th in Simi Valley, California. It will be Perry’s first debate in the presidential race, and expectations for a good performance are high. The pressure is on, and the question on everyone’s mind is: “Can Rick Perry defeat Barack Obama?”



BACHMANN’S WARDROBE MALFUNCTION: COULD IT COST HER VOTES?
August 23rd, 2011

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Knoxville, Iowa- Only ten days ago, Michele Bachmann was on top of the world. She was fresh off her victory in the Ames Straw Poll, and had been a rising star in the GOP. Now she’s in a battle for her political life as she struggles to halt the mass exodus of her supporters to Rick Perry’s camp. Donations to her campaign from supporters have declined since Perry’s entrance into the race, and Bachmann herself acknowledged reluctantly that her campaign had “hit a small bump in the road”. Nevertheless, she expresses confidence that she will be the Republican nominee. That confidence may have taken a blow today. While fundraising at a barbeque in Young Park, Bachmann had a wardrobe malfunction that rose more than a few eyebrows. Bachmann was speaking to a crowd of supporters about the dangers of the President’s healthcare law while eating a hamburger when one of the straps on her bra broke, causing her to reflexively reach to fix it. She disappeared into her campaign bus for about five minutes, presumably to get a quick change of clothes. When she emerged again, she quickly apologized to the crowd and resumed the discussion she’d been having with an elderly woman about Obamacare. Word of Bachmann’s broken bra spread quickly on the internet, with videos of the event being posted on Youtube. Bachmann’s campaign went into damage-control mode, issuing an apology for the accident. However, it appears to not have been good enough for some social conservatives, who are rethinking their support for the Minnesota Congresswoman. One local woman from Knoxville had this to say about the incident, “I came here as a supporter of Michele Bachmann, but now I’m not so sure. I agree with a lot of what she says. I think the President is a socialist, I think Obamacare is killing jobs in this country, Obama is destroying our civil liberties, and I think we need to get him out of office as soon as possible, but I don’t know if I can support this woman. That was just plain public indecency back there, and I really expected more from her.”


YAHOO POLL (8/24/11)

Does Michele Bachmann’s wardrobe malfunction make you more or less likely to vote for her?

More Likely- 9%
Less Likely- 23%
It doesn’t matter to me- 68%

126,473 votes



THE REPUBLICAN CANDIDATES DEBATE TONIGHT
September 7th, 2011

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Simi Valley, California- The eight candidates for the Republican presidential nomination will be meeting tonight at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library to debate the issues and have a hopefully productive exchange of ideas on how to fix the nation. Voters will be able to witness all of the candidates speak, including Rick Santorum, Michele Bachmann, Herman Cain, Tim Pawlenty, Jon Huntsman, Ron Paul, Newt Gingrich, and Rick Perry. Special attention, however, will be placed on Governor Perry, seeing as how this will be his first debate since his late entry into the race in August. Since his entry, voters appear to be rallying around the Governor in droves, turning him into the overnight frontrunner. The pressure is on for every single candidate in this race to do well in tonight’s debate, and the outcome could possibly decide any one of their fates.
 
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So, what's this TL supposed to be about?
Ugh. I wouldn't vote for bochman if you paid me. She isn't qualified to be President with ehr fgafs and making up facts.
 
Ah, Romney's out. And nothing of value was lost. T-Paw will have an interesting time in front of him.
 

d32123

Banned
So, what's this TL supposed to be about?
Ugh. I wouldn't vote for bochman if you paid me. She isn't qualified to be President with ehr fgafs and making up facts.

What makes her less qualified than Romney?

The only guy in this field who probably isn't qualified is Cain because he's never served in an elected office before, but even then he's constitutionally qualified.
 
So, no Romney at all.
Too bad about Bachmann's wardrobe malfunction. I'm sure her critics are gonna start calling her Janet Jackson.
 
What makes her less qualified than Romney?

Presumably you mean other than the fact that she is batshit insane?

This is the person who believes that God speaks directly to her like she is some sort of prophet- literally, as in she hears His voice and He tells her what to do- and who thinks that she has to hide in bushes to keep the lesbian mafia from killing her.

I'm somewhat right of center, and she gives me the willies...
 

d32123

Banned
Presumably you mean other than the fact that she is batshit insane?

This is the person who believes that God speaks directly to her like she is some sort of prophet- literally, as in she hears His voice and He tells her what to do- and who thinks that she has to hide in bushes to keep the lesbian mafia from killing her.

I'm somewhat right of center, and she gives me the willies...

I don't think it's fair to attack someone based on their religious beliefs.
 
For me, Bachmann comes oof as highly inexperiencee in politics. As far as I know, she hasn't been in Congress for long. She also tends to make gafs in her appearances.
 
If Perry gaffes in the debates I can see more Republicans jumping into the race (maybe Huckabee). Good start so far :D
 
I don't think it's fair to attack someone based on their religious beliefs.

She is welcome to any belief system she wants. In fact I'll fight to protect her right to it- as I am sworn to do. But I don't want to live in a theocracy, so I prefer not to have a leader who is told what to do by the Voice Of God in her head. Not to mention that my first instinct upon learning that someone hears voices is not to assume that they are a prophet- I assume schizophrenia. Claiming to have a hotline to God places one hell of a burden of proof on her, in my book. Her other odd behaviors aren't helping her. I didn't make the decision that she's nuts based solely upon the Voice-Of-God thing, brother.

And we get to attack presidential candidates for absolutely any reason that we like. It's traditional here, if not an actual sport. :D
 
PERRY CALLS SOCIAL SECURITY A “PONZI SCHEME”, CLAIMS THE ENTIRE PROGRAM IS A LIE
September 8th, 2011

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Simi Valley, California- In a book that Governor Rick Perry had published near the beginning of 2011 entitled Fed Up! Our Fight to Save America from Washington, Perry had written at length about his views on Social Security. In his book, he called Social Security a “ponzi scheme” and a monstrous lie. In what is perhaps one of the most important moments of last night’s Republican debate, and could be the defining moment of his presidential campaign, Perry reaffirmed his belief that Social Security was a ponzi scheme. In the Governor’s own words, “I think the Republican candidates are talking about ways to transition this program, and it is a monstrous lie. It is a ponzi scheme to tell our kids that are twenty five or thirty years old today, you paying into a program that’s going to be there, anybody that’s for the status quo with social security today is involved in a monstrous lie to our kids, and that’s not right.” The moderator followed up by quoting earlier statements made by two prominent Republican figures, former Vice President Dick Cheney and top Republican strategist Karl Rove, about Social Security. Karl Rove had earlier stated that such talk would be politically toxic, and Vice President Cheney called the program “sound”. In response, Perry said that he respected their opinions while citing political differences with both of them, and stood by his earlier statement. Almost immediately afterwards, Tim Pawlenty was allowed a few moments to respond to Perry’s claims, and came to the defense of Social Security. Pawlenty stated that while Social Security needed to be reformed so it can be sustained, the program itself was perfectly legitimate and most certainly not a “ponzi scheme.” According to the polls, a majority of Americans think so too. In fact, a recent poll taken by the New York Times shows that an overwhelming eighty-four percent of Americans are not in favor of cuts to Social Security in order to balance the budget. If Perry maintains this position, it might wind up costing him all that he’s gained, or it could benefit him if he can use it to show that he is a principled conservative. It’s a huge gamble, and nobody knows how it will turn out.



A DECADE LATER: AMERICA OBSERVES TENTH ANNIVERSERY OF 9/11
September 11th, 2011

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PERRY UNDERPERFORMS IN SECOND DEBATE
September 13th, 2011

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Tampa, Florida- Rick Perry’s performance in last night’s Presidential debate was less than most people expected. He appears to be sticking with his views on Social Security, and refuses to back down. Seeing weakness, his opponents (except for Tim Pawlenty and, to an extend, Jon Huntsman) ripped into him for it. Perry spent most of the night fending off attacks from Michele Bachmann, Newt Gingrich, and Rick Santorum, who attempted to paint Perry as out of touch with the American people. Pawlenty and Huntsman largely tried to stay above the fray and promote their own visions for America while Herman Cain advertised his 999 plan. Ron Paul received the least coverage of all the candidates in the debate, leading Paul’s supporters to accuse the mainstream media of bias against their candidate.



PAWLENTY PROMISES BALANCED BUDGET AMMENDMENT IF ELECTED PRESIDENT
September 14th, 2011

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Cedar Rapids, Iowa- Tim Pawlenty has promised that, if elected President, he would push for a constitutional amendment requiring the federal government to balance the budget every year. This is a message that Governor Pawlenty has been consistent on throughout his campaign, and he has not backed down from it. Until recently, Governor Pawlenty had been the frontrunner for the Republican nomination due to his experience as Governor of Minnesota, his conservative positions on the issues, and support from party bigwigs. Since his declaration, he has received a number of endorsements from Republican figures. Most recently, he had gained the endorsement of Idaho Senator Jim Risch. Since Perry’s controversial statements on Social Security, Pawlenty has recovered somewhat in the polls, though the majority of Iowans still support Perry for President. Pawlenty has done well in the debates so far, and held his own against his opponents in every one of them. Though he usually tries to avoid confrontation with his opponents, preferring to go after the President directly, Pawlenty has come under pressure from supporters to be more aggressive in the debates and challenge Perry on his positions like he did with Social Security.



MASSIVE PROTESTS NEAR WALL STREET IN NEW YORK CITY
September 17th, 2011

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New York City, New York- There are reports of massive protests being held in New York City today. The protesters have gathered together near Wall Street to speak out against what they are calling “corporate tyranny” in the United States. Similar protests have been held before, but none of this magnitude. Some reports indicate that there may be upwards of over four thousand people taking part in the protest. When asked about what their goals were, the protesters gave mixed reasons for being there. So far, the protest has been peaceful, and city officials assume that the protest won’t last till the end of the day. The protesters, however, say they don’t plan on going anywhere.



TIME IS RUNNING OUT FOR ROMNEY TO ENTER THE RACE
September 19th, 2011

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Boston, Massachusetts- Time is running out for potential Republican presidential candidates to enter the race. Among those who are being pressured to run for President this year are New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, Florida Senator Marco Rubio, Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels, Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal, and former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin. However, one of the most sought-after candidates to enter the race is former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney. After his failed 2008 presidential bid, Romney served on the board of directors for Marriott International from 2009 to just recently this year, when he returned to Bain Capital as its new CEO. Romney had campaigned for Republican candidates in the 2010 midterm elections, and plans to actively support Republicans in 2012. However, he has been under pressure recently from Republican officials that want him to run for President, but has remained steadfast in his refusal to run. He announced earlier in the year, around the same time as Mike Huckabee, that he would not be a candidate for President in 2012. Romney cites personal reasons for not wanting to run, saying that he wants to spend more time with his family, and that he prefers working in the private sector.
 
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PERRY CHANGES POSITION ON SOCIAL SECURITY
September 23rd, 2011

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Orlando, Florida- In the last Republican debate, held ten days ago in Tampa, Rick Perry once again called Social Security a ponzi scheme, and had more harsh words for it. In last night’s debate, he stepped back from his open criticism of the program, and has adopted a new policy of “reform, not repeal.” Perry said that Social Security would be around for future generations, who would be able to benefit from it, and proposed reforms to it to maintain its stability. The change appears to come at the behest of Perry’s campaign staff, seeing that he had experienced a dip in the polls due to his insistence on advocating a massively unpopular position. In response to the Governor’s change of heart, his opponents have wasted no time in taking advantage of it by calling him a flip-flopper and an unprincipled man.



OPINION: 999 REASONS HERMAN CAIN SHOULD QUIT THE RACE
September 24th, 2011

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Yahoo News, Anonymous- Alright, so the title is misleading. I don’t actually have 999 reasons why I think Herman Cain should end his presidential campaign now. I do, however, have a few. For starters, the man has no support from the voters. He ranks consistently in the bottom three alongside the likes of Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich (with Michele Bachmann sinking down there as well), so there’s no real chance that he’ll ever make it. You need votes to win in a state like Iowa, and it’s abundantly clear that Herman Cain has very few of them (and he certainly doesn’t have my vote). Next, let’s take a look at his proposals to “fix” America. All he’s said in the past three or four debates (I don’t know, there’s too many of them) is three little numbers, 999. So what is 999? Has he ever really explained it to anyone? And more importantly, does anyone care? All Herman Cain appears to be doing is wasting his time and ours on a dumb campaign that has no way forward. In my own opinion, Herman Cain should leave the race immediately and endorse the only candidate in the race that can really fix America, Ron Paul. Ron Paul is the only candidate in the entire race that is the right man to be President of the United States, and the only one that can defeat Barack Obama in 2012. He would restore America to the Constitution and end big government spending by wasteful liberals. Maybe if Herman Cain quits now, he could be Paul’s running mate. Paul/Cain 2012 anyone? I know that ticket would have my vote!



VIDEO: PRO-GINGRICH SUPERPAC SLAMS HUNTSMAN FOR WORKING FOR OBAMA
September 26th, 2011


OPEN FROM BLACK

-Dramatic music plays in the background, video footage of Obama speaking to the United Nations.


OBAMA
We will continue to promote renewable energy and efficiency and share new technologies with countries around the world.


-Cut to black screen with “sound familiar?” written in white


NARRATOR
Sound familiar?


-Cut to video of Huntsman speaking at a town hall.


HUNTSMAN
I would invest in renewable energies, to work towards more efficient fuel sources, not just for America but for the entire world.


-Cut to picture of Huntsman together with Obama, darkened for dramatic effect.


NARRATOR
Maybe that’s why Obama made him ambassador to China in his own administration, and called Huntsman “one of the greatest men I know.” Obama and Huntsman agree on nearly every position imaginable.


-Title cards flash as the narrator reads them off.


NARRATOR
Immigration? Check. Economics? Check. Foreign Policy? Check. Healthcare? Check.


-Cut to a different picture of Obama and Huntsman together, also darkened for dramatic effect.


NARRATOR
The same positions. The same failed policies. And now… Jon Huntsman… wants to be President?


-Cut to black with a darkened image of Huntsman sitting menacingly behind a desk in the oval office, with Obama hiding in the shadows behind him. Obama’s hand is on Huntsman’s shoulder.


NARRATOR
Join the fight to make sure this nightmare never becomes reality.


-Cut to lionized picture of Newt Gingrich.


NARRATOR
Join Newt Gingrich, and help defeat the Obama/Huntsman agenda. Winning Our Future is responsible for the content of this message.
 
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