Haha, thanks Terrellk! I must admit, I had a lot of fun writing that. And it gave me an excuse to go to Hulu and catch up on some of those classic 90s Bill Swerski's SNL skits with the late Chris Farley.
THE DAWG POUND DYNASTY: AN ALTERNATE HISTORY OF THE NFL
- Thread starter Pellegrino
- Start date
Haha, thanks Terrellk! I must admit, I had a lot of fun writing that. And it gave me an excuse to go to Hulu and catch up on some of those classic 90s Bill Swerski's SNL skits with the late Chris Farley.
I'll need to catch up on those once I'm done here.
Has anyone ever tried a "save the XLF" thread?
I do think a baseball one is easier in that the draft is easier to navigate, but I also think it can be a lot harder in that most great baseball teams were only a few games ahead of the rest of the pack. A 100-62 season is a homerun in baseball, but a 10-6 team doesn't mean nearly as much in football. But yeah, the biggest fear I had when I started this TL was trying to figure out things like "coaches system" and wondering if Player A, who was awesome with Team X, would he be nearly as good with the Browns in TTL. In the end, I just had to go with it and try my best to explain why I thought so if that were the case.
FDW
Banned
I don't see it as insane, I mean you had a New Orleans Saints that just three years ago had almost 7500 yards of offense. The total you describe could easily be achievable with like 8000 yards or so, which isn't too far off from most high level NFL offenses are doing in recent years.
I was originally thinking so, but when I looked at OTLs Tom Brady's 50 TD season in 2007 I was suprised to see how few yards rushing the 2007 Pats actually put forth. For some reason I thought that Faulk had more yards in 2007. It may be possible to have 2,000/50, but it might push the envelope to far. I switched it to 1,400, which still makes for a monsterous offensive season for the Giants here.
I know, when i put the Cardianls in the American League in that one, it was tricky trying to figure out, "Okay, they have 2 tough teams to face instead of 1 22 times a hear, but then they're added to the pennant race knwocking the others down a few wins,etc." in seasons like 1949, and stuff like that. In the end, there I just went with the best storytelling a few times, and worked trades to make sure it happened (like the '66-'67 repeat champs).
Also, awesome SNL skit, that was really funny.
I know the narrative arc has essentially been foreshadowed so that the Browns win yet another SB (which I think IMO is a wank just a bit too far- four-in-a-row is enough), but I'm still rooting to watch them get destroyed by Brady.
It's more narratively compelling- angry Browns fans getting the contempt of other people for being the Evil Empire of the Erie. Not to mention you could have TTL "hot take" commenters on the Browns losing, which'd be hilarious
It's more narratively compelling- angry Browns fans getting the contempt of other people for being the Evil Empire of the Erie. Not to mention you could have TTL "hot take" commenters on the Browns losing, which'd be hilarious
Not a huge football fan myself though I know enough to know roughly what's going on, but I gotta say I really, really hope the Giants lose and Brady is forced to eat crow here. I've never liked him in OTL and even though he did legitimately get kind of screwed over ITTL, after that last update I want nothing more than to see him have to eat his own words for the rest of his career.
I don't think I've ever seen a timeline build up to it's finale as well as this one. Congrats.
PART FIFTY ONE: SUPER BOWL XLVI, FIRST HALF
___________________________________________________________
“I remember feeling somewhat uncomfortable as I stood there and waved to the crowd. I was regarded as one of the most successful players in the history of Canadian football by many football fans, but I had two games in the NFL in 2008. Two. Although I won the second game, giving the Browns their only victory for the 2008 season, I still felt somewhat uncomfortable by being invited to the ceremony. I had been voted the “50th greatest Brown of all time”, beating out Tom Brady. Well, I knew that there was no way anyone could objectively say that. But I decided to go Hey…free tickets to the Super Bowl! Well, as I was walking off the field I remember we passed the Giants sideline and I saw Tom Brady. And man, was he ticked off. He was ready to tear the Browns apart! I saw him literally pacing like a caged lion! I remember thinking to myself he is going to be out for blood here. Well, he was. The Giants came out swinging. And Tom Brady was on fire in the first quarter. He was single handily manhandling the Browns. But the thing is…Tom Brady is a legendary quarterback. The best I’ve ever seen. If anyone can singlehandedly defeat an NFL team, it’s him. But he probably should have let the Giants help out a bit.”
- Former Browns Quarterback Anthony Calvillo
From the ESPN 30 for 30 documentary “The Dawg Pound Dynasty”
____________________________________________________________
SUPERBOWL XLVI
Courtesy of ABC
Aired February 5, 2012
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT.
AL MICHAELS: We are ready to kickoff one of the most eagerly anticipated Super Bowls ever as the Browns will be kicking it away. And there he is: Chris Kluwe, ready to kick it off for the Browns…Kluwe having been the Browns punter since 2005.
CRIS COLLINSWORTH: And it is interesting to think that Kluwe, despite playing for the Browns for seven seasons, never played for a championship team.
AL MICHAELS: Kluwe having been drafted in 2005, just three months after the Browns last championship.
(We now see Ricky Williams in a Giants uniform pacing as he awaits the opening kickoff).
CRIS COLLINSWORTH: And veteran Ricky Williams, who signed a one year contract with the New York Giants and has hinted that this might be his final season in the NFL, is back to receive.
AL MICHAELS: The veteran Williams has been such a valuable addition to the Giants special team this season, having come in second in the NFC in kickoff return and third in punt return…and the Browns have had trouble early in the season covering kicks…
(We see the kickoff and the mad scramble of Browns players running downfield)
AL MICHAELS: And its Williams…trying to work it back to the middle…gets past the first wave and here he goes!!!
(We see Williams with a clear path to the end zone)
AL MICHAELS: And its Williams…inside the thirty! Williams is going to take it all the way for a touchdown! And no flag…ninety three yards! And boy what a start for the New York Giants here in Indianapolis as Ricky Williams scores another touchdown to put the Giants up 6-0!
____________________________________________________________
“It was a horrible start for the Browns. First play of the game and Ricky Williams, the one and only living Curse of the Bongbino himself, returns the kickoff for a 93-yard touchdown. Then the Browns quickly turn the ball over after three errant passes from Tim Tebow don’t come anywhere near their target. Then Brady gets the ball. You could see the anger and rage on his face as he took the field. He was a man on a mission once he got the ball. Ten yard pass to Johnson. Twelve yard pass to Victor Cruz. Six yard pass to Calvin Johnson…then the juke.”
- Andy Moeller, former tight ends coach of the Cleveland Browns in 2008.
From the NFL Films documentary “The Dawg Pound Divorce: Tom Brady and the Cleveland Browns”
___________________________________________________________
SUPERBOWL XLVI
Courtesy of ABC
Aired February 5, 2012
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT.
AL MICHAELS: And it’s third and nine for the Giants on the Browns sixteen yard line...Brady out of the shotgun…snap..Brady is back to throw…the rush…he steps up into the pocket and runs with it!
CRIS COLLINSWORTH: And he dives for a first down!
AL MICHAELS: Guess who he avoided!
CRIS COLLINSWORTH: Urlacher!
AL MICHAELS: Urlacher! Wow! Well we knew Tom Brady was fired up here but wow!
CRIS COLLINSWORTH: And who says Tim Tebow is the only quarterback who can run in this game?
___________________________________________________________
Real Sports With Bryant Gumbel- “The Ultimate Dawg – Former Browns Linebacker Brian Urlacher reflects on his time in Cleveland”
From August 23, 2013
Portions of a Armen Keteyian interview with Brian Urlacher.
Courtesy of CBS
Armen Keteyian: Brian, the Browns looked poised to crumble under the pressure early against the Giants during Super Bowl 46. Ricky Williams returned the opening kickoff for a touchdown, followed by Tim Tebow struggling badly in the Browns opening offensive drive, followed by Tom Brady and the juke. Were the Browns rattled?
Brian Urlacher (laughing): Well, I won’t lie. I wasn’t really happy with myself that I let Tom Brady, the slowest quarterback in the league, juke me for a first down.
Armen Keteyian: That play was followed by a six yard pass to Calvin Johnson, which put the Giants up 14-0 in the first quarter. Was there a sense of panic on the Browns sideline?
Brian Urlacher: Well, I was pretty disappointed in myself, and I guess I had my head down when I got to the sidelines, but I could tell Coach Kingsbury was struggling to suppress a smile. I was thinking to myself, “aw shit, Coach has gone off the deep end.” But then he pulled us together and said something that just revitalized the defense.
Armen Keteyian: What did he say?
Brian Urlacher: He rallied us together and said “He’s trying to do this by himself! That fucking asshole thinks he can do this all by himself! Well fuck that guys! Let’s Crush that idea right here and now!”
______________________________________________________________
“It was just looking like it was going to be an execution…but then…I started to see it. Tom Brady is the undisputed leader of the Giants. Never been any question of that. He’s one of the few quarterbacks in the league who is allowed to call his own plays from the line of scrimmage. But he had the Browns on the ropes and he couldn’t contain himself. He wanted to stick the knife and he wanted to be the guy who was holding that knife personally. The Browns scored a field goal to finish off the first quarter and then Brady took charge again and I could see it…Brady to Johnson. Brady to Cruz. Brady to Cruz. Brady to Johnson. We were in the second quarter and Adrian Peterson hadn’t even touched the football yet! I saw Adrian Peterson turn to the Giants sideline at one point with a frustrated look as he threw his arms up in the air. “What’s up with this?” I could see him mouth to Coach Saban. Saban looked uncomfortable as he realized that Brady was pushing forward with another pass play. He called a timeout and tried to reign in this wild stallion that was looking to tear apart the Browns singlehandedly. And…well, we all know how that went. The world was suddenly introduced to an obscure rookie who would quickly establish himself as the greatest cornerback to ever play for the Cleveland Browns.
Jon Gruden on ESPN Radio (July 11, 2012)
_________________________________________________________
“You have a world class showman standing right next to you and you are going to pass on that?! Don’t be a Tom Brady, Richard. Release me. Release the Kraken!” -
Elrich Bachman (T.J. Miller) From the HBO series Silicon Valley.
Aired June 1, 2014
___________________________________________________________
“New York Giants-A Rough Go”
Uploaded to Youtube.com by user whazhapnin34397
1,567,443 views
(We see a clip taken from Super Bowl XLVI, with Tom Brady and the Giants offence jogging to the sidelines as Giants coach Nick Saban has just called a timeout. However, the original audio is muted and some dialogue from an online game has been dubbed over the audio of the Super Bowl broadcast. The dub links up with the action on the video surprisingly well.)
(We now see the Giants players huddling around Coach Saban)
PLAYER #1: OK guys, these eggs have given us a lot of trouble in the past…
(We now see several players nodding their heads as Saban is talking)
PLAYER #1: Does anyone need anything off this guy or can we bypass him?
(We see offensive lineman Carl Nicks talking to Saban as he can be seen pointing towards the field)
PLAYER #2: Um, I think Leeroy needs something from this guy…
PLAYER #1: He needs those shoulders? Isn’t he paladin?
PLAYER #2: Yeah, but that’ll help him heel better. He’ll have more mana.
(We now see Coach Saban rub his eyes, clearly frustrated as he is talking)
PLAYER #1: Christ. OK, uh…what we’ll do…I’ll run in first and gather all the eggs we can kind of just blast them all down and (inaudible)
(We now have a close up of Adrian Peterson who is nodding his head in agreement)
PLAYER #1: I will use intimidating shout to kind of scatter them so we don’t have to fight a whole bunch of them at once. When my shout’s done I’ll need Anthony to come in and drop his shout too so we can keep them scattered and not fight too many. Um, when his is done Baz of course needs to run in and do the same thing…
(Shot now turns to the Cleveland sideline where Tim Tebow is in a kneeling position. He is in the middle of “Tebowing”, or praying on the sideline.)
PLAYER #1: We’re going to need divine intervention on our mages so they can A.E., so we can of course get them down fast ‘cause we’re bringing all these guys, I mean, we’ll be in trouble if we don’t take them down quick. I think this is a pretty good plan…
(Shot not returns to Saban and the Giants sideline, where Coach saban is talking directly to Adrian Peterson)
PLAYER #1: We should be able to pull it off this time, what do you think Abdul? Can you give me a number crunch real quick?
(We now see what appears to be Adrian Peterson talking to Saban and Nicks. For the first time we notice Tom Brady, who looks pissed off as he shoots angry glances to the Browns sideline. He visibly looks distracted as the time out winds down and as the players get ready to return to the field)
PLAYER #3: Uhhh…gimmie a sec…
(The players now return to the field. The Giants offense lines up as Brady get’s ready to call the play)
PLAYER #3: I’m coming up with 32.33, ah, repeating of course, percentage of survival.
PLAYER #1: Uh, it’s a lot better than we usually do.
(We now see Brady take the snap from the center)
PLAYER #4 (Leeroy): Alright chumps! Let’s do this! LEEEE-ROY JEEEENKINS!
(We see Brady go back to pass. He is under pressure and forces a pass to Calvin Johnson. The pass is picked off by Browns cornerback Richard Sherman)
PLAYER #2: Oh my God. He just ran in…
(We see Sherman with the football as he easily breaks a tackle from Calvin Johnson)
PLAYER #1: Save him!
PLAYER #3: Oh geez!
PLAYER #1: Stick and clean!
PLAYER #5: Jesus…
PLAYER #1: Let’s go…let’s go!
PLAYER #3: Stick to the plan bro, stick to the plan!
PLAYER #2: Ah jeez! Ah fuck!
(We see Richard Sherman literally run over Giants guard Carl Nicks, who clearly is injured on the play)
PLAYER #1: Do divine intervention! Hurry up! Shout!
PLAYER #2: I can’t cast! I can’t move!
PLAYER #5: Am I lagging guys? What the hell?! I can’t aim.
(We see Richard Sherman strong arm the Giants tight end, as he pushes his way towards the end zone)
PLAYER #1: Oh my God.
(Inaudible shouts can be heard between the players as Sherman breaks the last tackle and runs towards the end zone)
PLAYER #5: I don’t think you can cast with that shit on!
PLAYER #1: Oh my God!
(More inaudible shouts from the various players as Richard Sherman reaches the end zone)
PLAYER #1: Goddammit Leeroy! Goddammit!
(We now see a stunned Nick Saban on the sideline)
PLAYER #2: Leeroy, you moron!
PLAYER #3: This is ridiculous!
PLAYER #5: I’m down…how did we die of this?!
PLAYER #1: Why do you do this shit Leeroy?!
(More inaudible video game shouts as we see Richard Sherman celebrating in the end zone. We now see Tom Brady clearly cursing to no one in particular as he angrily pulls off the strap to this helmet)
PLAYER #4 (Leeroy): It’s not my fault!
(We now see Adrian Peterson glaring upward, presumably at the Jumbotron. He starts to say something)
PLAYER #3: Leeroy, you are just stupid as hell!
PLAYER #4 (Leeroy): At least I have chicken.
____________________________________________________________
“That pick-six did nothing to bring Tom Brady back to earth. He was just this wild animal out there. He was still hot as a pistol though, connecting with Johnson on a sixteen yard pass on his very next pass. But it was clear that his emotions were taking over. He wanted to turn this into a slugfest. That was smart. No NFL team could match up with us in a slugfest. He knew that. The Giants were George Foreman. The Browns were Muhammad Ali. But the thing was we couldn’t let them rope-a-dope us into giving them a chance. We needed to keep the pressure up without burning ourselves out. I think Coach Saban got a little worried about that happening. He needed to bring things back down a notch. So he made the fateful and controversial decision that will remain a topic of debate for years to come.
He pulled Tom Brady.”
- Former Giants tight end Jake Ballard
From the Fox Sports documentary “Brady and Tebow”
PART FIFTY ONE: SUPER BOWL XLVI, FIRST HALF
___________________________________________________________
“I remember feeling somewhat uncomfortable as I stood there and waved to the crowd. I was regarded as one of the most successful players in the history of Canadian football by many football fans, but I had two games in the NFL in 2008. Two. Although I won the second game, giving the Browns their only victory for the 2008 season, I still felt somewhat uncomfortable by being invited to the ceremony. I had been voted the “50th greatest Brown of all time”, beating out Tom Brady. Well, I knew that there was no way anyone could objectively say that. But I decided to go Hey…free tickets to the Super Bowl! Well, as I was walking off the field I remember we passed the Giants sideline and I saw Tom Brady. And man, was he ticked off. He was ready to tear the Browns apart! I saw him literally pacing like a caged lion! I remember thinking to myself he is going to be out for blood here. Well, he was. The Giants came out swinging. And Tom Brady was on fire in the first quarter. He was single handily manhandling the Browns. But the thing is…Tom Brady is a legendary quarterback. The best I’ve ever seen. If anyone can singlehandedly defeat an NFL team, it’s him. But he probably should have let the Giants help out a bit.”
- Former Browns Quarterback Anthony Calvillo
From the ESPN 30 for 30 documentary “The Dawg Pound Dynasty”
____________________________________________________________
SUPERBOWL XLVI
Courtesy of ABC
Aired February 5, 2012
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT.
AL MICHAELS: We are ready to kickoff one of the most eagerly anticipated Super Bowls ever as the Browns will be kicking it away. And there he is: Chris Kluwe, ready to kick it off for the Browns…Kluwe having been the Browns punter since 2005.
CRIS COLLINSWORTH: And it is interesting to think that Kluwe, despite playing for the Browns for seven seasons, never played for a championship team.
AL MICHAELS: Kluwe having been drafted in 2005, just three months after the Browns last championship.
(We now see Ricky Williams in a Giants uniform pacing as he awaits the opening kickoff).
CRIS COLLINSWORTH: And veteran Ricky Williams, who signed a one year contract with the New York Giants and has hinted that this might be his final season in the NFL, is back to receive.
AL MICHAELS: The veteran Williams has been such a valuable addition to the Giants special team this season, having come in second in the NFC in kickoff return and third in punt return…and the Browns have had trouble early in the season covering kicks…
(We see the kickoff and the mad scramble of Browns players running downfield)
AL MICHAELS: And its Williams…trying to work it back to the middle…gets past the first wave and here he goes!!!
(We see Williams with a clear path to the end zone)
AL MICHAELS: And its Williams…inside the thirty! Williams is going to take it all the way for a touchdown! And no flag…ninety three yards! And boy what a start for the New York Giants here in Indianapolis as Ricky Williams scores another touchdown to put the Giants up 6-0!
____________________________________________________________
“It was a horrible start for the Browns. First play of the game and Ricky Williams, the one and only living Curse of the Bongbino himself, returns the kickoff for a 93-yard touchdown. Then the Browns quickly turn the ball over after three errant passes from Tim Tebow don’t come anywhere near their target. Then Brady gets the ball. You could see the anger and rage on his face as he took the field. He was a man on a mission once he got the ball. Ten yard pass to Johnson. Twelve yard pass to Victor Cruz. Six yard pass to Calvin Johnson…then the juke.”
- Andy Moeller, former tight ends coach of the Cleveland Browns in 2008.
From the NFL Films documentary “The Dawg Pound Divorce: Tom Brady and the Cleveland Browns”
___________________________________________________________
SUPERBOWL XLVI
Courtesy of ABC
Aired February 5, 2012
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT.
AL MICHAELS: And it’s third and nine for the Giants on the Browns sixteen yard line...Brady out of the shotgun…snap..Brady is back to throw…the rush…he steps up into the pocket and runs with it!
CRIS COLLINSWORTH: And he dives for a first down!
AL MICHAELS: Guess who he avoided!
CRIS COLLINSWORTH: Urlacher!
AL MICHAELS: Urlacher! Wow! Well we knew Tom Brady was fired up here but wow!
CRIS COLLINSWORTH: And who says Tim Tebow is the only quarterback who can run in this game?
___________________________________________________________
Real Sports With Bryant Gumbel- “The Ultimate Dawg – Former Browns Linebacker Brian Urlacher reflects on his time in Cleveland”
From August 23, 2013
Portions of a Armen Keteyian interview with Brian Urlacher.
Courtesy of CBS
Armen Keteyian: Brian, the Browns looked poised to crumble under the pressure early against the Giants during Super Bowl 46. Ricky Williams returned the opening kickoff for a touchdown, followed by Tim Tebow struggling badly in the Browns opening offensive drive, followed by Tom Brady and the juke. Were the Browns rattled?
Brian Urlacher (laughing): Well, I won’t lie. I wasn’t really happy with myself that I let Tom Brady, the slowest quarterback in the league, juke me for a first down.
Armen Keteyian: That play was followed by a six yard pass to Calvin Johnson, which put the Giants up 14-0 in the first quarter. Was there a sense of panic on the Browns sideline?
Brian Urlacher: Well, I was pretty disappointed in myself, and I guess I had my head down when I got to the sidelines, but I could tell Coach Kingsbury was struggling to suppress a smile. I was thinking to myself, “aw shit, Coach has gone off the deep end.” But then he pulled us together and said something that just revitalized the defense.
Armen Keteyian: What did he say?
Brian Urlacher: He rallied us together and said “He’s trying to do this by himself! That fucking asshole thinks he can do this all by himself! Well fuck that guys! Let’s Crush that idea right here and now!”
______________________________________________________________
“It was just looking like it was going to be an execution…but then…I started to see it. Tom Brady is the undisputed leader of the Giants. Never been any question of that. He’s one of the few quarterbacks in the league who is allowed to call his own plays from the line of scrimmage. But he had the Browns on the ropes and he couldn’t contain himself. He wanted to stick the knife and he wanted to be the guy who was holding that knife personally. The Browns scored a field goal to finish off the first quarter and then Brady took charge again and I could see it…Brady to Johnson. Brady to Cruz. Brady to Cruz. Brady to Johnson. We were in the second quarter and Adrian Peterson hadn’t even touched the football yet! I saw Adrian Peterson turn to the Giants sideline at one point with a frustrated look as he threw his arms up in the air. “What’s up with this?” I could see him mouth to Coach Saban. Saban looked uncomfortable as he realized that Brady was pushing forward with another pass play. He called a timeout and tried to reign in this wild stallion that was looking to tear apart the Browns singlehandedly. And…well, we all know how that went. The world was suddenly introduced to an obscure rookie who would quickly establish himself as the greatest cornerback to ever play for the Cleveland Browns.
Jon Gruden on ESPN Radio (July 11, 2012)
_________________________________________________________
“You have a world class showman standing right next to you and you are going to pass on that?! Don’t be a Tom Brady, Richard. Release me. Release the Kraken!” -
Elrich Bachman (T.J. Miller) From the HBO series Silicon Valley.
Aired June 1, 2014
___________________________________________________________
“New York Giants-A Rough Go”
Uploaded to Youtube.com by user whazhapnin34397
1,567,443 views
(We see a clip taken from Super Bowl XLVI, with Tom Brady and the Giants offence jogging to the sidelines as Giants coach Nick Saban has just called a timeout. However, the original audio is muted and some dialogue from an online game has been dubbed over the audio of the Super Bowl broadcast. The dub links up with the action on the video surprisingly well.)
(We now see the Giants players huddling around Coach Saban)
PLAYER #1: OK guys, these eggs have given us a lot of trouble in the past…
(We now see several players nodding their heads as Saban is talking)
PLAYER #1: Does anyone need anything off this guy or can we bypass him?
(We see offensive lineman Carl Nicks talking to Saban as he can be seen pointing towards the field)
PLAYER #2: Um, I think Leeroy needs something from this guy…
PLAYER #1: He needs those shoulders? Isn’t he paladin?
PLAYER #2: Yeah, but that’ll help him heel better. He’ll have more mana.
(We now see Coach Saban rub his eyes, clearly frustrated as he is talking)
PLAYER #1: Christ. OK, uh…what we’ll do…I’ll run in first and gather all the eggs we can kind of just blast them all down and (inaudible)
(We now have a close up of Adrian Peterson who is nodding his head in agreement)
PLAYER #1: I will use intimidating shout to kind of scatter them so we don’t have to fight a whole bunch of them at once. When my shout’s done I’ll need Anthony to come in and drop his shout too so we can keep them scattered and not fight too many. Um, when his is done Baz of course needs to run in and do the same thing…
(Shot now turns to the Cleveland sideline where Tim Tebow is in a kneeling position. He is in the middle of “Tebowing”, or praying on the sideline.)
PLAYER #1: We’re going to need divine intervention on our mages so they can A.E., so we can of course get them down fast ‘cause we’re bringing all these guys, I mean, we’ll be in trouble if we don’t take them down quick. I think this is a pretty good plan…
(Shot not returns to Saban and the Giants sideline, where Coach saban is talking directly to Adrian Peterson)
PLAYER #1: We should be able to pull it off this time, what do you think Abdul? Can you give me a number crunch real quick?
(We now see what appears to be Adrian Peterson talking to Saban and Nicks. For the first time we notice Tom Brady, who looks pissed off as he shoots angry glances to the Browns sideline. He visibly looks distracted as the time out winds down and as the players get ready to return to the field)
PLAYER #3: Uhhh…gimmie a sec…
(The players now return to the field. The Giants offense lines up as Brady get’s ready to call the play)
PLAYER #3: I’m coming up with 32.33, ah, repeating of course, percentage of survival.
PLAYER #1: Uh, it’s a lot better than we usually do.
(We now see Brady take the snap from the center)
PLAYER #4 (Leeroy): Alright chumps! Let’s do this! LEEEE-ROY JEEEENKINS!
(We see Brady go back to pass. He is under pressure and forces a pass to Calvin Johnson. The pass is picked off by Browns cornerback Richard Sherman)
PLAYER #2: Oh my God. He just ran in…
(We see Sherman with the football as he easily breaks a tackle from Calvin Johnson)
PLAYER #1: Save him!
PLAYER #3: Oh geez!
PLAYER #1: Stick and clean!
PLAYER #5: Jesus…
PLAYER #1: Let’s go…let’s go!
PLAYER #3: Stick to the plan bro, stick to the plan!
PLAYER #2: Ah jeez! Ah fuck!
(We see Richard Sherman literally run over Giants guard Carl Nicks, who clearly is injured on the play)
PLAYER #1: Do divine intervention! Hurry up! Shout!
PLAYER #2: I can’t cast! I can’t move!
PLAYER #5: Am I lagging guys? What the hell?! I can’t aim.
(We see Richard Sherman strong arm the Giants tight end, as he pushes his way towards the end zone)
PLAYER #1: Oh my God.
(Inaudible shouts can be heard between the players as Sherman breaks the last tackle and runs towards the end zone)
PLAYER #5: I don’t think you can cast with that shit on!
PLAYER #1: Oh my God!
(More inaudible shouts from the various players as Richard Sherman reaches the end zone)
PLAYER #1: Goddammit Leeroy! Goddammit!
(We now see a stunned Nick Saban on the sideline)
PLAYER #2: Leeroy, you moron!
PLAYER #3: This is ridiculous!
PLAYER #5: I’m down…how did we die of this?!
PLAYER #1: Why do you do this shit Leeroy?!
(More inaudible video game shouts as we see Richard Sherman celebrating in the end zone. We now see Tom Brady clearly cursing to no one in particular as he angrily pulls off the strap to this helmet)
PLAYER #4 (Leeroy): It’s not my fault!
(We now see Adrian Peterson glaring upward, presumably at the Jumbotron. He starts to say something)
PLAYER #3: Leeroy, you are just stupid as hell!
PLAYER #4 (Leeroy): At least I have chicken.
____________________________________________________________
“That pick-six did nothing to bring Tom Brady back to earth. He was just this wild animal out there. He was still hot as a pistol though, connecting with Johnson on a sixteen yard pass on his very next pass. But it was clear that his emotions were taking over. He wanted to turn this into a slugfest. That was smart. No NFL team could match up with us in a slugfest. He knew that. The Giants were George Foreman. The Browns were Muhammad Ali. But the thing was we couldn’t let them rope-a-dope us into giving them a chance. We needed to keep the pressure up without burning ourselves out. I think Coach Saban got a little worried about that happening. He needed to bring things back down a notch. So he made the fateful and controversial decision that will remain a topic of debate for years to come.
He pulled Tom Brady.”
- Former Giants tight end Jake Ballard
From the Fox Sports documentary “Brady and Tebow”
Last edited:
Well:
1, Giants took back the opening kickoff, generally bad for the team that scores.
2, Brady got pulled.
All of this adds up to Browns winning.
So I'm calling it for the giants.
1, Giants took back the opening kickoff, generally bad for the team that scores.
2, Brady got pulled.
All of this adds up to Browns winning.
So I'm calling it for the giants.
Tooooooooooommmmm Braaaaaaddddyyyy!
Just to say been a great tl, one of the reasons I stopped lurking was I noticed this was winding down.
Anyway really good job!
Just to say been a great tl, one of the reasons I stopped lurking was I noticed this was winding down.
Anyway really good job!