The Biggest Box Office Bombs Never Made

Across The Starry Wastes (1997) Starring Bruce Willis, Milla Jovovich, Gary Oldman, Forrest Whittaker, and Sean Connery, and Directed by Luc Besson. Sequel to The Fifth Element, about Coben Dallas and Leloo travelling the galaxy, racing against time to heal the widespread damage of the events of the previous movie, and prevent the re-activation of the Great Darkness, too. Budget ballooned to $200,000,000 dollars, several accidents on-set and in post-production delayed the movie five months, and then it had the bad fortune of debuting right beside James Cameron's Titanic. Made a mere $6,000,000 its opening weekend, and lasted no more than three weeks in first run. Sony Pictures wouldn't recover until the debut of Spider-Man, and this film signaled the end of Sean Connery's tentpole film career. Bruce Willis, though, managed to land on his feet with the releases of The Seige, The Sixth Sense, The Whole Nine Yards, The Kid, Unbreakable, and Hart's War.

Indiana Jones and The City of Gold (1998) With Harrison Ford clearly having aged out of the role of Dr. Jones. Had Indy on a chase against Nazi War Criminals in 1947 through the Brazilian Amazon Basin, who wanted to use the treasure there to build a Fourth Reich. Became the picture giver for the entry "Took The Bad Movie Seriously" on Tvtropes.com.

Ghostbusters (1984) Starring Jim Belushi as Eddie Kong, Tom Hanks as Larry Stortch, and Dee Bradley Baker as Tracy the Gorilla. Live-Action adaptation of the Saturday Morning Cartoon by Filmation, directed by Ward Davis (his first and only feature film credit) and released by 20th Century Fox. Had the misfortune of being released a week after Gremlins, but with laughable special effects that were the only funny part of the flick, and a plodding yet incoherent plot. Nearly destroyed its stars' respective careers. Swept the Razzies that year, and became the only film shown twice on Mystery Science Theater 3000.
 
A sequel to Pearl Harbor about Midway with Ben Affleck's character somehow switching from being a USAAF P-40 pilot to being a Dauntless pilot on the ENTERPRISE.

After escaping a Japanese POW camp then because he was captured after the raid
 
SVT/TV4/Nordic film/Russian film company presents: Poltava

The story about the battle between Russia and Sweden at Poltava. Biggest Swedish budget ever but only 50,000 Swedes seeing it and less than a million outside Sweden. Why? Because it was not a battle in the movie, it was just talk and talk and to much talk about modern politics.
 
Operation Sea Lion (2014). The Nazis succeed in conquering the UK in 1940, only to face a rebellion led by teenagers. Battle scenes are panned as totally unbelievable.
 
Operation Sea Lion (2014). The Nazis succeed in conquering the UK in 1940, only to face a rebellion led by teenagers. Battle scenes are panned as totally unbelievable.

Character 1: Oh no, my girlfriend been captured and is being Held in Buckingham palace

Character 2: I'm a American Commando who is going to rescue the king of England from Buckingham Palace

Character 1 Hey, the Nazis are keeping my girlfriend in the same place as the King. Lets team up.

Character 3 Hey, That's near the headquarters of the Gauliter of England, the most heavily guarded place in England

Character 1,2,3 and 4. Lets go kick Nazi ass

Character 5 Look, I just found a German tank.

Yep, would of been pretty awful.
 

Gaius Julius Magnus

Gone Fishin'
Ghandi II: An Eye for an Eye Harder - Directed by Uwe Bowl

-First and only time thus far a nation has declared war on a single individual.
 
The Legend of Zelda (2000)

Director: Paul W.S. Anderson.
Link: Seth Green
Princess Zelda: Alyson Hannigan
Ganon: Nicolas Cage
The Great Fairy: Jeri Ryan

Though high brand-name recognition led to initial success, the film would ultimately be a failure. Flaws highlighted by critics included:

Underwhelming special effects (some compared it unfavourably to Mortal Kombat, the less charitable to Power Rangers).

The Great Fairy, whose entire purpose as a character seemed to revolve around wearing a succession of low-cut tops.

Nicholas Cage. While it was noted that he at least seemed to be enjoying himself, all agreed that he was having far too much fun.

Also, the identities of the two lead actors led many to call the film 'The Legend of Willow' or 'Zelda the Cage Slayer'...
 
Micheal Bay remakes

The Wizard of Oz - Michael Bay remake 2011
Dorothy throws water at Witch, Witch explodes, Slo-mo escape from collapsing castle, Megan Fox as Dorothy

The Maltese Falcon - Michael Bay remake 2012
Shia Lebeuf is Sam and the role of Bridgitte goes to Megan Fox
The Blackbird they're all after is a trap and actually has a bomb in it
Blackbird explodes
Slo-mo escape from collapsing skyscraper

The Alamo - Michael Bay remake 2013
The Mexicans close in for the Kill but Russell Crowe's Davey Crockett throws his torch into the Fort's ammo dump blowing up the Alamo and the whole Mexican Army. Only Megan Fox survives (in slo-mo). Historians wonder why she was even there during bonus commentary track

My Dinner with Andre - Michael Bay remake 2014
Megan Fox plays Andre, Dinner explodes, Slo-mo food goes flying everywhere

and coming in 2015

________________ - Michael Bay remake 2015
with Megan Fox as ____________. The ___________ finds out that the _______________ is going to _______________ and it explodes and the heroes have to escape in a slo-mo scene shot inside a ______________
 
A third Conan movie staring Schwarzenegger.

I don't know what it would be called:

First Movie - Conan the Barbarian

Second Movie - Conan the Destroyer

Third Movie - Conan the Mall Security Guard or something like that
 
Indiana Jones and The City of Gold (1998) With Harrison Ford clearly having aged out of the role of Dr. Jones. Had Indy on a chase against Nazi War Criminals in 1947 through the Brazilian Amazon Basin, who wanted to use the treasure there to build a Fourth Reich. Became the picture giver for the entry "Took The Bad Movie Seriously" on Tvtropes.com.

This sounds better than Crystal Skull. Just saying.
 
Are we allowed to make up our own alternative films or we must use actual film proposals that never get off the ground.

If it is the former may I suggest:

IC:

Uday (2014)

If you thought Jack and Jill and That's My Boy was bad wait till you see Adam Sandler's latest project, a X-Rated Musical about the life of Uday Hussein, the son of Saddam Hussein and known for his sadism and erratic behavior.

Adam Sandler plays the title role, a son of a dictator who is not exactly known for being a nice guy or easy to please, thus in this musical we see a young man fall apart and ruin his life, as well as being the biggest party animal in the Middle East and torture the entire Iraqi Olympic Team.

It also stars Kevin James as Saddam Hussein and depending their salary demands a all-star cast.

OOC:

Yeah, I think Sandler has finally blew it...:D
 
The Alamo - Michael Bay remake 2013
The Mexicans close in for the Kill but Russell Crowe's Davey Crockett throws his torch into the Fort's ammo dump blowing up the Alamo and the whole Mexican Army. Only Megan Fox survives (in slo-mo). Historians wonder why she was even there during bonus commentary track
______________


How would a Alamo created by Michael Bay that guarantees big battle scenes and lot of explosions be a bomb? There HAVE to be explosions in such a movie.

It can hardly be worse than the last movie or John Waynes movie?
 
Top