the best movies never made

King Thomas

Banned
Dunkirk

Wacky comedy movie with Harry Styles in the lead role as a bridegroom who is slipped a sleeping pill on his stag night and wakes up in Dunkirk with just 24 hours to get back to his wedding in London. To make things worse, the French air traffic controllers are on strike, bad weather conditions have shut down the ferries and there has been a crash in the Channel Tunnel. The only way to get back in time to save his expensive wedding is on board a little fishing boat.

The Battle of Britain

War film about the Kaiser's "Operation Sealion" in 1915, when the German High Seas Fleet tried to land an army in Britain. Just as happened historically, the landing is a disaster with huge losses of both ships and men on the German side.

A Bridge too Far

Documentary about the failed attempt by the Conservatives to set up a coalition government with the Liberal Democrats, who called it at the time "A bridge too far" and joined the Labour Party in a coalition instead.

Downfall

A documentary about the many people on disability benefits who have either died, got evicted and ended up on the street, or ended up having to shoplift and then got jailed after their disability benefits were wrongly taken from them.
 
Last edited:

King Thomas

Banned
Sleepless In Seattle

Documentary about what happened when the city ran out of sleeping pills on the day before it's children were going back to school after the summer break and how the next day's test scores plummeted.

Ghostbusters

Documentary about identity thieves known as ghosts and the police unit that busts them.
 

Kibbutznik

Bridge of Spies

A Soviet film created during the cultural resurgence of the Malenkov-Zhukov Thaw, Bridge of Spies is hailed as a film ahead of its time, depicting the relationship between two border guards facing across a bridge on the Vistula, which eventually develops into a homosexual romance between two men of the same ethnicity divided by a border of a concurrently ideological and tangible nature.
Each one can only communicate with notes and, after the Vistula Blockade is instituted by the East Polish government under American pressure, hand gestures that can only be perceived through their binoculars, all to avoid detection by their superiors, specifically two over-zealous American and Soviet officers.
The film garnered much controversy during its release, not only for the depiction of a healthy and (spoiler alert) tragically-fated relationship between two men, but for its depiction of the politics of the time, not only showing a Soviet as an antagonist, but also representing the two Poles as a singular nationality and their division as simply artificial, a reality that ran against the official dogma of both Polish states.

Paradoxically, the film improved Russo-Polish relations in the long run, with many Poles taking note that the cinematic masterpiece was produced not only by a Russian director who employed advisors, consultants, and employees from across the Leningrad Concorde, but was also reluctantly approved by the Ministry of Cinematic, Musical, and Literary Culture, marking a more liberal and permissive stance by the Kremlin.
 
sitalkes

sitalkes

Battle of Blair Mountain
A film about the 1921 coalition of thousands of 1st World War veterans and armed coal miners who closed down the streets of Washington and went on strike, and how their struggle for better pay and conditions resulted in confrontations with the US Army and sparked a violent revolution in America, leading to a new constitution and a socialist government.
 
Tales Weaver

Tales Weaver

RWBY
Adaptation of novel of same name by Monty Oum, it is a satire of U.S. cold war against german empire. It is about a girl who moved ahead 2 years to training academy that teach young warriors to fight monsters. With Maisie Williams as Ruby Rose, this movie will be fun to watch.
 
Last edited:
Driftless

Driftless

Donor
The Codfather - John Houseman is the Don of Boston's fish trade.

Julie and Julio. A serio-comedy about rival food truck vendors in LA.

Constipation - A Cohen brothers send up of congressional hijinks.

Interspeller - A nitwit (Adam Sandler) gets to the Scripps National Spelling Bee by error.
 

Greenville

Banned
Independence Day (1986)

The Soviet Union develops a large orbiting, shielded space weapon that destroys most major cities in Europe and the United States. On July 4th, the remnants of the American military and volunteer militia must band together to keep themselves and their wounded nation from total destruction.
 

Bernard Woolley

The Terminal Man (1954) - A British Transport Films short about the sole BR employee working at the terminus of a little used branch line. Regarded as being of historical interest due to the appearance of a rail motor and the fact that the branch was to close in 1956 due to falling passenger numbers.
 
Last edited:

Carl Schwamberger

King Thomas said:
....

Downfall

A documentary about the many people on disability benefits who have either died, got evicted and ended up on the street, or ended up having to shoplift and then got jailed after their disability benefits were wrongly taken from them.
Click to expand...

I work part time in a veterans service group. The story is to damm real.
 

Bernard Woolley

I am a Litter Basket (1961): A Hammer Horror adaptation of the Quatermass serial of the same name. An alien intelligence is greatly offended by the amount of litter humans leave, despoiling the Earth, when there are conveniently located litter baskets. It takes control of litter baskets in a London railway terminus and sends them on a murderous rampage. Remembered for the scenes of the British Army attempting to stop the murderous litter baskets to little effect until they resort to explosives. Professor Quatermass delivers a monologue at the end of the film on the need for us all to take more care of the Earth and to clean up after ourselves.

OOC: Actually it's a 1959 British Transport Film. It just has a somewhat surreal moment where the eponymous basket and its confederates to come alive and go in search of litter to 'eat'. :D
 

M8rtinVanBlazen

Banned
Enemy At The Gates

A Comedy covering the Story of Hans Gruber and Vlad Valosky, 2 twins who were separated at birth and are both grossly inept and incompetent at their jobs in the German and the Soviet Military Respectively. When both of them are fighting in Stalingrad, They meet while fighting in the early days of the war and realize that they are long lost brothers. The rest of the movie follow their hijinks together as the war rages around them. There is a notorious scene in the middle of the movie where the Soviets and the Germans are fighting over an Apartment building and all the while, Vlad and Hans are partying in the thick of it with stolen cases of Vodka and Bratwurst.
 
Last edited:

King Thomas

Banned
Can't Pay We'll Take It Away

Documentary set in the Confederate States of America about those who repossess slaves when the owner cannot fully pay the slave trader or the former owner for them. The slaves are not legally considered as people hence the It in the title.
 

Kibbutznik

The Terminal

Filmed inside the historically famed Dewey International Airport, this wonderful masterpiece depicts the somewhat quixotic, yet paradoxically wise actions of the Dalai Lama trying to guarantee the independence of Tibet with American and British authorities whilst being officially stateless. Adeptly mixing the desperation and hopelessness of his political condition with the well-known guile and cunning of the religious leader, The Terminal charmed audiences both within the United States and abroad, championing and honoring Tibet's long struggle for independence.

Unfortunately, both Beijing and Nanjing maintain the film to be dissentist propaganda, and thus banned from cinemas.
 

King Thomas

Banned
Chariots of Fire-Film about the rebellion of Boudicca with very good CGI scenes of Londinium being burned to the ground by the rebels.
Enemy at the Gates-Documentary about terrible tenants getting evicted.
Crocodile Dundee-Film about the notorious Australian gangster Mick "Crocodile " Dundee.
The Sheriffs Are coming-Western about the famous lawman Bat Masterson and his brother and how they faced down various Western bad men.
The French Connection-1987 documentary about the Channel Tunnel.
 

Kibbutznik

Crocodile Dundee

There are a limited amount of men in this world that are truly hated, and amongst them is Paul Hogan. Having sent Australasia down the path of xenophobia and segregation during his inglorious reign as Prime Minister, Hogan is remembered as a ruthless tyrant, appropriately monikered as "Crocodile Dundee", his cold hearted and predatory nature bearing a close resemblance to the aforementioned amphibian.

The fact that a movie was made about Hogan in 1998 would not have surprised audiences the slightest, if it wasn't for the fact that the movie was from Hogan's perspective. Focusing on his sincere belief that his racist policies towards Asian immigrants would save the nation from the clutches of communism, Hogan was painted with a stunningly beautiful grey brush, laying the foundation for the Anti-Hero Movement which would dominate the films of the early 21st century.
 

King Thomas

Banned
Interstellar-Biography of Taylor Swift
Hang Em High-Conservative Party political broadcast promising to bring in the death penalty
Die Hard-Snuff film of jihadist executions forbidden in several countries
American Sniper-Film about the assassination of President Kennedy
Sister Sister- A film where a lesbian couple witness a mob murder and have to go into witness protection-but are given new identities as sisters, meaning they can't be "out and proud" and have to keep their relationship a secret and abandon their planned lesbian wedding much to their annoyance.
I , Daniel Blake- Historical film about the 1940 assassination of Adolf Hitler by Lieutenant Daniel Blake, a British soldier taken prisoner who manages to escape from a POW camp, steal an SS uniform and a pistol, and get close enough to Hitler at a parade to shoot and kill him. The part where he locks an SS officer in the lavatory really did happen. After Hitler's assassination and the collapse of the Reich into a many-fronted Civil War, the UK is able to free France and take a large part of Germany before Stalin invaded from the East and took Poland and the east of Germany for himself. Although Daniel Blake was shot dead and cremated as soon as he shot Hitler, the film ends with a statue of Daniel Blake being put up in Parliament Square.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top
Top