the best movies never made

Lady Snowblood - Volume 1 and 2 (1973-1974)
The original Lady Snowblood duology, but more faithful to the manga. This means a lot more of the subplots get added in (including the fact that the title character is a lesbian).

Also, the movie is technically meant to be one movie, but split into two parts, ala Kill Bill.
 

Sekhmet_D

Kicked
Rogue Warrior

Released two years after Dick Marcinko's controversial tell-all book about his life and times as a Navy SEAL, Michael Bay's directorial debut and first of many successful partnerships with producer Jerry Bruckheimer simultaneously entertained and scandalised the viewing public with its depiction of America's black-ops heroes as crass, crude party animals instead of the silent professionals they were normally assumed to be. While elements of its script and humour have not necessarily aged well, its explosive action sequences remain classics in the annals of the genre.

Steven Seagal was a no brainer choice for the role of Marcinko following his success as Casey Ryback in Under Siege and received Marcinko's personal blessing, particularly for performing most of the film's stunts himself. Ably backing up Seagal are Jon Voight as Admiral James Lyons and Jack Nicholson as Chief Rudy Boesch; the latter was given considerable free reign to ad-lib and his hilariously politically incorrect performance is widely considered the movie's hidden gem. Of note is the fact that all scenes featuring "Edward Emu", a thinly disguised Admiral William McRaven, were scrapped after Tom Hanks declined the role in protest against McRaven's severely unflattering portrayal*.

* Marcinko's lampooning of McRaven as "Ed Emu" is absolutely real, by the way. Read his books and you'll see. It's hysterical.
 
Dai Hard
Welsh parody of the Die Hard movies set in Swansea High Street on Christmas eve. Features a largely unknown cast except for local girl (and financial backer) Catherine Zeta Jones who pops up in several cameos as 'woman sticking tongue out and flicking V sign'.



This was inspired by newspaper articles about comparisons of photographs of a drunk man in Swansea being arrested with renaissance art. And by a misread headline on favourite Xmas films.
 
In honor of Railfan Video legend Greg School, who sadly passed a while back, here are some ideas for his videos from his TTL joint company with Jes Jarrett (founder of OTL's Railway Productions, who'd narrate all the TTL's company's programs).

Steam In The Great Lakes
The Great Lakes States have long been a bastion of American industry and transport, and that heritage is reflected quite well with the number of steam locomotives operating today both on the mainline and on tourist railroads. This program takes you on a journey across the region to see some of the steamers in action.
- New York Central's Hudson 5452 and Niagara 6019 doublehead an Employee Appreciation Special from Buffalo, New York east to Rochestor and return [1].
- Union Pacific 428 and Chicago & NorthWestern 1385 doublehead an excursion from North Freedom, Wisconsin south to Madison.
- South African and Indian narrow gauge relics haul tourists to Lake Michigan on Indiana's Hesston Light Railway.
- Reading 2100 leads fantrips on the Chessie System Cuyahoga Valley Line through Ohio from Cleveland to Akron.
- Pere Marquette Berkshire 1225 heads an excursion of ex-C&O coaches over Conrail's ex-Ann Arbor secondary lines in Michigan [2].
- Illinois Central 1196 heads trains for the Illinois Railway Museum from the museum grounds in Marengo east to Elgin and return.
- Nickel Plate 765 runs on a ferry move from her home in New Haven, Indiana to Cleveland over home rails.

The Burlington Northern Steam Duology
Ever since its inception in the late 1960s, the Burlington Northern has been a proud operator of mainline steam excursions, and this three-part series takes you on an archive of the numerous steam excursions that have run over BN rails through the years.
- Volume 1 - The Midwest: This program focuses on excursions operated over former Burlington Route and Frisco trackage. Included in this tape are highlights such as Burlington 4960 and 5632 doubleheading for the 1993 NRHS Convention in Chicago. As well as scenes of Frisco 1522 running throughout Missouri, Oklahoma, and Texas. 4960 is also seen on some solo round trips from Peoria, Illinois to Galesburg and on an employee appreciation special from Galesburg to Burlington, Iowa. Capping off this volume is the 1994 tripleheader with 4960, 5632, and the newly restored 3007 which is owned by the Illinois Railway Museum in Union.
- Volume 2 - The Northwest: The program mainly focuses on fantrips in Montana, Idaho, and Washington state with Great Northern 2046, Northern Pacific 2676, and SP&S 700. Starting off we see 2046, one of the largest operating steam locomotives at the time, with a trip from Shelby to Great Falls, Montana. The 700 leads a special through the Columbia River Gorge from Portland to Pasco and return. Topped off with 2676 running from Billings to Helena.

[1] In TTL, the Dreyfuss Hudsons had their streamlining casing modified to reduce maintenance costs, and no longer cover their front except for the pilots. Plus the skyline casing was modified to fit a larger steam dome: think OTL's 5446, albeit with the addition of a Centipede Tender.
[2] In TTL, Conrail consists of the Pennsylvania Railroad, Milwaukee Road, Norfolk & Western, Wabash/Ann Arbor, Lehigh Valley, New Haven, Boston & Maine, Bangor and Aroostook, Maine Central, and Lehigh & New England.
 
Fiddler on the Roof-Horror film about a sex criminal who kidnaps his victims and takes them to rooftops to have his way with them, and the police hunt for him.
 
Camelot
1967 musical about John F Kennedy's administration. Lee Marvin and Clint Eastwood reprise their musical partnership from Paint Your Wagon as John and Bobby Kennedy. Sofia Loren stars as Jackie Kennedy. A young Philip Madoc is also notable as a very disturbed and disturbing Lee Harvey Oswald.
 
Point Pleasant

About a forgotten battle fought the same summer (1775) as the battles of Lexington and Concord, the start of the siege of Boston, & start of the American revolution. Virginan frontier settlers in a undertrained militia cross the Ohio River to the north bank and fend off a assault by a Shawnee coalition army.
 
Red Dawn
Charming animated cartoon about a shepherd trying to save his flock when he wakes up to 'red sky in the morning - shepherds' warning'.


Escape From New Hork.
Kurt Russell tries his hand at comedy when he stars as a successful business man who wants to move to the countryside. However, his boss, his family and friends would rather he stayed. Every time he tries to escape, a new scheme or bout of bad luck intervenes. Will our hapless hero ever escape from New York?
 
Deep Blue Sea (1984)
The prequel to Jaws, featuring Quint as the main character and his survival of the USS Indianapolis incident.

Directed by Steven Speilberg and stars Ian Shaw, son of Robert Shaw, as the young Quint.
 

Sekhmet_D

Kicked
Deep Blue Sea (1984)
The prequel to Jaws, featuring Quint as the main character and his survival of the USS Indianapolis incident.

Directed by Steven Speilberg and stars Ian Shaw, son of Robert Shaw, as the young Quint.
I would not put it past Quint to have done the necessary evil and 'sacrificed' some of his critically injured or already dying comrades in the face of massive shark attack to ensure the survival of the able bodied ones.
 
Beware the Forest

A man gets rescued from a car wreck in remote Canada by a large, hairy mountain man type who nurses his injuries. Man is very grateful esp given the winter storms. MMan is coy about who he is and why he lives out in the wilds. As man gets better, he gets suspicious, but there are no hidden studies, no cellar in the log cabin/cave the MMan lives in. He starts following MMan around helping as much as he can. One Dat MMan goes out hunting and does not come back. Man is feeling better and goes to find him and is confused by why the tracks he follows turn into Bear paws. He finds a pile of clothes MMan had on and is sure something bad has happened. At the end of a long trail, he finds MMan injured and naked - a pack of wolves got him MMan manages to tell him. Man helps MMan back to cabin - lots of focus on how difficult it is to move the huge naked man. Man, now nurses MMan, who recovers v. quickly once home. MMan tells him the wolves will come for them and he needs to 'embrace the bear' if they are to survive. Man is confused until MMan shows him: he is a Werebear and there is a long duration transformation scene. Now a huge Grizzly Kodiak, MMan tells Man that the pack are Werewolves who are after the sacred places he protects- they want to corrupt the magic's which will affect the land (add in eco message about the WWolves working for an oil company maybe?) and wake things that should be left undisturbed.

Man is terrified but agrees. He is an environmental activist and is protecting the land in the ultimate way. To become a Bear where is a ritual to be done at a standing stone circle, close by. They go. MMan and Man both get naked for the ritual. There is a sharing of blood on the stones, and a chant to the spirits (no false Latin) which MMan teaches Man as they anoint each stone. Both start the chant, but the Wolves return- we see the Alpha transform into a Humanoid form and taunt the MMan, who shifts to his Bear form for battle which is soon joined. As before, the WWolves are overwhelming MMan. We cut back to the circle where Man has done the final stone and starts transforming as a ghostly Spirit Bear appears and sinks into his form. He gets bigger, hairy, and more 'bearish' - then he sees MMan under attack and goes full Bear and charges into the WWolves - which surprises the pack immensely.

Both Bears together are a match for the pack esp. with enraged spirits behind them. The Alpha is slain, and the rest killed, though we do see one- the runt- escape. MMan and Man turn back and hug in friendship; they are now bonded in blood the Spirit Bear tells them. As the camera pulls back, they kiss as the vast saved forest is unveiled before them.
 
The Incredible Hulk (1990)
Pretty much the OTL Death of the Incredible Hulk movie except...
  • David Banner is working for Stark Industries
  • Tony Stark appears
  • Thunderbolt Ross and Betty Ross also appear; both are the Air Force's liaison for Stark Industries' "Iron Man" project
  • The main villains are Emil Blonsky, aka the Abomination, and Sam Sterns, aka The Leader, Sterns is Blonsky's inside man in Stark Industries
  • Tony Stark WILL don the Iron Man suit and help fight off Abomination and Blonsky's henchmen when they raid Stark Industries
  • Instead of dying by falling from an airplane, Hulk/Banner gets into a big fight with Abomination and loses his life
  • Jack McGee also returns... as does J. Jonah Jameson
  • This movie will be a theatrical release!
Cast Additions
William Hurt as General Thunderbolt Ross
Elizabeth Gracen as Betty Ross
Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark/Iron Man
Christopher Lambert as Emil Blonsky/The Abomination
Gary Oldman as Dr. Samuel Sterns
Denzel Washington as James Rhodes
Jack Colvin as Jack McGee
J.K. Simmons as J. Jonah Jameson Jr.
 
20,000 Leagues Under The Sea (1954)
Same movie as OTL but the Vulcania subplot is removed entirely.

The Nautilus instead sails to Atlantis (and really, damn shame that wasn't in the movie), where a warship from Nemo's enemy nation attacks. The Nautilus is then forced to flee to the North Pole, where Nemo plants his flag below the icy depths (again, another scene from the book that sadly didn't make it into the movie).

After leaving the North Pole, the giant squid attack goes as it was OTL.

After this, the fleet of warships that tried to invade Vulcania from the OTL movie ambush Nemo after the squid attack and instead pursue Nemo into the maelstrom from the end of the book. Professor Arronax, Ned Land, and Conseil still manage to escape with Esmerelda the sea lion.
 

Driftless

Donor
20,000 Leagues Under The Sea (1954)
Same movie as OTL but the Vulcania subplot is removed entirely.

The Nautilus instead sails to Atlantis (and really, damn shame that wasn't in the movie), where a warship from Nemo's enemy nation attacks. The Nautilus is then forced to flee to the North Pole, where Nemo plants his flag below the icy depths (again, another scene from the book that sadly didn't make it into the movie).

After leaving the North Pole, the giant squid attack goes as it was OTL.

After this, the fleet of warships that tried to invade Vulcania from the OTL movie ambush Nemo after the squid attack and instead pursue Nemo into the maelstrom from the end of the book. Professor Arronax, Ned Land, and Conseil still manage to escape with Esmerelda the sea lion.
The OTL version has been a favorite since I was a kid, way back in the previous millenium. The first time I saw it was on a later '50s release in a classy old theater with a wide screen, which worked to the films advantage

My early perception of James Mason was that he was an action/adventure hero actor, based on "20,000 Leagues" and his role as the Professor in "Journey to the Center of the Earth" (1959). I hadn't a clue about his other work at that point.:openedeyewink:
o_O
 
Cromwell (1980)

It's the mid 1970's and Britain is in crisis. A very left wing government is in office and talking about leaving Nato. The country is riddled with unrest, the economy crashing and civil liberties are under threat. The Prime Minister has just left the palace determined to end the monarchy after the Queen brings up her authority to desolve Parliament. Out of patience with the PM she goes into her private office, lifts her phone and speaks one word "Cromwell".

Soon thereafter troops move out taking control of key locations, the PM's car is intercepted and he's arrested. The Coup has begun.
 
(Some of this is based off ideas I had for the Hippie In The House of Mouse TL about the fifth movie of the Friday the 13th series (some of which were used by @Geekhis Khan, but I'm going in a different direction than that TL did--here's a link to the post about that TL's fifth installment of Friday the 13th: https://www.alternatehistory.com/fo...-at-disney-1980.489210/page-100#post-21319167) and the ending is based off the Friday the 13th: A New Beginning novelization linked here: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14152337/1/Novelization-of-Friday-the-13th-part-V-A-New-Beginning.)

Friday the 13th Part 5: A New Beginning (1985)
The movie is largely the same as OTL, except that Thom Mathews (instead of John Shepard), plays Tommy (Shepard plays a deputy in the movie in TTL), and there's more doubt as to whether Tommy is the killer or not until the ending, when he appears to challenge the imposter Jason (as fans called him). Also, Eddie, instead of having his head crushed by a leather strap tied around a tree, is beaten to death with a branch (imagine Michael killing his bully in the Rob Zombie Halloween remake to see what I'm going for here). And the ending does start with Tommy wearing Jason's mask and is about to kill Pam when he sees his reflection in a mirror, and then takes the mask off and drops the knife before jumping out the window. Overall, it has a better reputation than OTL (which isn't saying much), but is still seen as one of the weaker Friday the 13th movies overall...
 
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