the best movies never made

John Carpenter's Postal.
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A 1980's Outrageous movie.

Starring David Bowie as Postal Dude. Roseanne Barr as The Bitch.

The movie follow a man who has been live in his trailer on land behind a house in the small town of Paradise, Arizona, with his fatty wife.
At the beginning of each day, Postal Dude is given several tasks to accomplish.
 
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Retrospective: Shark!(1979)

Wow, the anniversary edition blu-Ray of John Landis masterpiece “Shark!” is a feast for the eager viewer. The horror-drama-comedy still manages to thrill and shock after forty years.

On its face the idea of making a dark comedy about an incredibly horrific moment in American History is absurd and in bad taste, but Landis makes it work.

Relaxing at a beach resort after a stressful party convention Woodrow Wilson (Murray Hamilton) is a strutting peacock of a man, a vain, petty tyrant who delights in abusing his staff all the while delivering pious platitudes to the press.

When the President hears of the shark attacks only a few miles down the coast he figures that a mile-long swim offshore to show his fearlessness will be just the ticket to win re-election, his cabinet of cronies and hanger-ons decide that’s an excellent idea, with only the no-nonsense Col. House (Robert Stack) suggesting it might not be the best idea. Of course Wilson ignores his warning so House assigns two secret service agents (Roy Schneider and John Belushi) to covertly follow the President on his swim to protect him from any nearby sharks.

We all know what happens: despite the best efforts of our two heroes Wilson is graphically torn to ribbons by the man-eater in full view of the press. The actual attack is played for sheer horror, with Landis playing the wish of the audience to see such a terrible person gone with the raw brutality of being killed by a shark.

Of course Schneider and Belushi’s characters are fired, only to redeem themselves at the climax when they rescue a young boy in a creek from the man-eater and succeed in killing it, becoming heroes.

Some elements of the movie haven’t aged well: the shark is obviously mechanical and the scene with Wilson casually ranting about the “inferiority of the ‘n-word’ race” while being attended to by black servants is more awkward and cringe now then funny.

On the other hand the rest of the movie is as much of a masterpiece as it’s reputation suggests: Schneider’s straight-man performance contrasts perfectly with Belushi’s wildness, the funny bits are hilarious and the scary bits still terrifying.

Even historians have made their peace with the movie, most now accepting it as a good piece very loosely based on history. Sure, there are occasionally grumbles from scholars that the movie’s version of Wilson has replaced the historical one in the public imagination (No, Wilson did not really say “Our great white nation must be safe from great white sharks”) but when even the Woodrow Wilson Memorial in New Jersey hosts a screening and round table discussion with historians it’s time to drop the crusade against it

With John Landis tragic death in a helicopter crash shortly after release it’s a shame we never got to see what else he had up his sleeve but with his one film he cemented himself into movie and American history.

(From a timeline where Woodrow Wilson is killed during the 1916 Jersey shark attacks)
 
Retrospective: Shark!(1979)

Wow, the anniversary edition blu-Ray of John Landis masterpiece “Shark!” is a feast for the eager viewer. The horror-drama-comedy still manages to thrill and shock after forty years.

On its face the idea of making a dark comedy about an incredibly horrific moment in American History is absurd and in bad taste, but Landis makes it work.

Relaxing at a beach resort after a stressful party convention Woodrow Wilson (Murray Hamilton) is a strutting peacock of a man, a vain, petty tyrant who delights in abusing his staff all the while delivering pious platitudes to the press.

When the President hears of the shark attacks only a few miles down the coast he figures that a mile-long swim offshore to show his fearlessness will be just the ticket to win re-election, his cabinet of cronies and hanger-ons decide that’s an excellent idea, with only the no-nonsense Col. House (Robert Stack) suggesting it might not be the best idea. Of course Wilson ignores his warning so House assigns two secret service agents (Roy Schneider and John Belushi) to covertly follow the President on his swim to protect him from any nearby sharks.

We all know what happens: despite the best efforts of our two heroes Wilson is graphically torn to ribbons by the man-eater in full view of the press. The actual attack is played for sheer horror, with Landis playing the wish of the audience to see such a terrible person gone with the raw brutality of being killed by a shark.

Of course Schneider and Belushi’s characters are fired, only to redeem themselves at the climax when they rescue a young boy in a creek from the man-eater and succeed in killing it, becoming heroes.

Some elements of the movie haven’t aged well: the shark is obviously mechanical and the scene with Wilson casually ranting about the “inferiority of the ‘n-word’ race” while being attended to by black servants is more awkward and cringe now then funny.

On the other hand the rest of the movie is as much of a masterpiece as it’s reputation suggests: Schneider’s straight-man performance contrasts perfectly with Belushi’s wildness, the funny bits are hilarious and the scary bits still terrifying.

Even historians have made their peace with the movie, most now accepting it as a good piece very loosely based on history. Sure, there are occasionally grumbles from scholars that the movie’s version of Wilson has replaced the historical one in the public imagination (No, Wilson did not really say “Our great white nation must be safe from great white sharks”) but when even the Woodrow Wilson Memorial in New Jersey hosts a screening and round table discussion with historians it’s time to drop the crusade against it

With John Landis tragic death in a helicopter crash shortly after release it’s a shame we never got to see what else he had up his sleeve but with his one film he cemented himself into movie and American history.

(From a timeline where Woodrow Wilson is killed during the 1916 Jersey shark attacks)
I been toying with the idea that the Film "Jaw 3, People Nothing " would be in produce by the Zucker Brothers and directed by John Landis instead of the Jaw Three we got.
 
I been toying with the idea that the Film "Jaw 3, People Nothing " would be in produce by the Zucker Brothers and directed by John Landis instead of the Jaw Three we got.
Could it possibly be an intentionally funny version of the "Last Shark"? It might have gotten better reviews, but Spielberg allegedly threatened to never work with Universal again if it had been produced.

 
Retrospective: Shark!(1979)

Wow, the anniversary edition blu-Ray of John Landis masterpiece “Shark!” is a feast for the eager viewer. The horror-drama-comedy still manages to thrill and shock after forty years.

On its face the idea of making a dark comedy about an incredibly horrific moment in American History is absurd and in bad taste, but Landis makes it work.

Relaxing at a beach resort after a stressful party convention Woodrow Wilson (Murray Hamilton) is a strutting peacock of a man, a vain, petty tyrant who delights in abusing his staff all the while delivering pious platitudes to the press.

When the President hears of the shark attacks only a few miles down the coast he figures that a mile-long swim offshore to show his fearlessness will be just the ticket to win re-election, his cabinet of cronies and hanger-ons decide that’s an excellent idea, with only the no-nonsense Col. House (Robert Stack) suggesting it might not be the best idea. Of course Wilson ignores his warning so House assigns two secret service agents (Roy Schneider and John Belushi) to covertly follow the President on his swim to protect him from any nearby sharks.

We all know what happens: despite the best efforts of our two heroes Wilson is graphically torn to ribbons by the man-eater in full view of the press. The actual attack is played for sheer horror, with Landis playing the wish of the audience to see such a terrible person gone with the raw brutality of being killed by a shark.

Of course Schneider and Belushi’s characters are fired, only to redeem themselves at the climax when they rescue a young boy in a creek from the man-eater and succeed in killing it, becoming heroes.

Some elements of the movie haven’t aged well: the shark is obviously mechanical and the scene with Wilson casually ranting about the “inferiority of the ‘n-word’ race” while being attended to by black servants is more awkward and cringe now then funny.

On the other hand the rest of the movie is as much of a masterpiece as it’s reputation suggests: Schneider’s straight-man performance contrasts perfectly with Belushi’s wildness, the funny bits are hilarious and the scary bits still terrifying.

Even historians have made their peace with the movie, most now accepting it as a good piece very loosely based on history. Sure, there are occasionally grumbles from scholars that the movie’s version of Wilson has replaced the historical one in the public imagination (No, Wilson did not really say “Our great white nation must be safe from great white sharks”) but when even the Woodrow Wilson Memorial in New Jersey hosts a screening and round table discussion with historians it’s time to drop the crusade against it

With John Landis tragic death in a helicopter crash shortly after release it’s a shame we never got to see what else he had up his sleeve but with his one film he cemented himself into movie and American history.

(From a timeline where Woodrow Wilson is killed during the 1916 Jersey shark attacks)
So in this TL Nickdictator is ANIMAL HOUSE butterflied away? (Caught the irony of what happened
here to Landis when IOTL Landis was of course involved- to say the least-with that helicopter crash that killed Vic Morrow & a child actor on the set of THE TWILIGHT ZONE).
 
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Driftless

Donor
^^^ I genuinely laughed out loud. I did not see that combination coming, though it has internal logic of putting the dead to work.... :biggrin:
 
I can see it now: Ash is sent back to the Second World War instead of the Middle Ages.

Also, I picture a scene where Ash meets his father, then a soldier in the war.
 
Ranma 1/2: Through The Eyes of Auntie Akane (1997)
This unique OVA explores an alternate timeline where one day, Ranma's transformation into a female became permanent. Years after the fact, a 30-something Akane Tendo recounts the story to the children "Ranko" and Ryoga had together. In telling the story, Akane specifically recalls the slow process of curse becoming permanent; how Shampoo, Kodachi, and Ukyo reacted; Genma finally using this to reflect on where he may have gone wrong with Ranma; and the relationship "Ranko" eventually began with Ryoga.
 
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The Dictator
A 2009 comedy film.

Ben Khorov (Adam Sandler) is a couple therapist whose normal clientele are white trash and douchey yuppies . However, his latest clients are far more unusual: the family of notorious dictator in exile Ivan Doumeshok (Antony Hopkins). His son Grigori (Bill Skargard) is an aggressive fascist wannabe, his wife Ludmilla (Famke Janssen) just barely more stern and controlling then he is, and his daughter Alexa (Scarlet Johhansen) has threatened to defect on several occasions, and all of them are at their throats blaming each other for the mess they're in, being exiled and on house arrest in a working-class Chicago neighbourhood. Can Ben solve their problems and keep them from falling off the edge of sanity before they make him do?

Pretty decently received even for an Adam Sandler vehicle, perhaps due to the hilariously caustic chemistry between the Doumeshoks' actors and with Adam Sandler in a rare straight man role of his.
 
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Driftless

Donor
The Dictator
A 2009 comedy film.

Ben Khorov (Adam Sandler) is a couple therapist whose normal clientele are white trash and doucheyyuppies . However, his latest clients are far more unusual: the family of notorious dictator in exile Ivan Doumeshok (Antony Hopkins). His son Grigori (Bill Skargard) is an aggressive fascist wannabe, his wife Ludmilla (Famke Janssen) just barely more stern and controlling then he is, and his daughter Alexa (???) has threatened to defect on several occasions, and all of them are at their throats blaming each other for the mess they're in, being exiled and on house arrest in a working-class Chicago neighbourhood. Can Ben solve their problems and keep them from falling off the edge of sanity before they make him do?
I'd love to see Sandler and Hopkins in the same scenes. That would be fun crazy.
 
The Magic Pudding (2000)
Produced by MGM and the Australian Broadcasting Corporation, and based on the story by Norman Lindsay of the same name. The film follows the different misadventures of the Noble Society of Pudding Owners: the young koala Bunyip Bluegum (Geoferry Rush); the sailor Bill Barnacle (Hugh Jackman); the Penguin Sam Sawnoff (Sam McNeil); and the Magic Pudding himself - the sentient Albert (Eric Idle). The main story's over-reaching plot is the efforts of a group called the Pudding Thieves to kidnap Albert on the orders of Herr Mausen: a former shipmate of Bill and Sam who turned out to be an escaped Nazi war criminal. Now, Mausen wishes to use Albert as an eternal food source for his army of artificially-created creatures, with which he hopes to create a new Reich extending over Australia and the South Pacific.

This film was trounced by Disney's Kingdom of the Sun pretty much everywhere except the original story's native Australia. However, it's since been given new life on video.
 
Cougar Town - A mockumentary comedy about a small Tennessee town that's chosen to help reintroduce cougars to the eastern US, and the clash between its residents and scientists in charge of the project,
 
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